"Shiny Happy People" BattleCry

1 00:00:00,292 --> 00:00:03,963 Hi, my name is Ray, and I'm a Christian musician. 2 00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:05,631 And I'm also gay. 3 00:00:05,715 --> 00:00:07,383 And I want you to know that it gets better. 4 00:00:07,466 --> 00:00:08,801 [light music playing] 5 00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:12,054 [Liz] Our dad, he had a very successful career, 6 00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:14,682 but he had a bit of a secret. 7 00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:17,393 No one knew all those years. 8 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,521 He became very depressed. 9 00:00:21,105 --> 00:00:24,191 [Phil] At the time, I was coming back from the internship, frankly destroyed. 10 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,737 Dad's career starts to slow down a little bit 11 00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:32,116 and I started to get really concerned about Dad's mental health. 12 00:00:32,992 --> 00:00:38,205 [woman] Here's Daddy, we have him after his long, long drive. 13 00:00:39,582 --> 00:00:43,669 -We sat him down at like a family meeting. -Which we do not have family meetings. 14 00:00:43,753 --> 00:00:45,630 -We don't do that. -That is not a thing our family does. 15 00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:47,924 -We don't need to talk about that. -We don't talk about things. 16 00:00:48,007 --> 00:00:51,510 We just got very earnest, and we're like, "Dad, what's what's wrong?" 17 00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:55,765 I had prayed for 30 years. I gave my heart to the Lord at 19. 18 00:00:57,141 --> 00:01:00,853 I went to church, I went to counseling. I went through deliverance. 19 00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:04,732 I did every single thing that everybody said to do. 20 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:09,945 And at the end of 30 years, I just decided I can't pretend anymore. 21 00:01:10,029 --> 00:01:12,531 I was with my children and my wife, and I thought, 22 00:01:12,615 --> 00:01:16,452 "If I can't tell them who I really am and what I'm going through," 23 00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:20,456 "what kind of a father am I?" 24 00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:23,626 We immediately... we supported him. 25 00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:26,378 We told him how much we loved him. 26 00:01:26,462 --> 00:01:31,383 I was like, "Guys, I think it's fine to be gay. I think it's good." 27 00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:33,384 -I think it's okay." -Yeah. 28 00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:39,183 -Dad came out publicly, and... -Church turned on him. 29 00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:42,269 [strings music playing] 30 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:50,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 31 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,989 [Ray] Can a gay person be a Christian? 32 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:58,494 Some people have it so nailed down that nobody can be a Christian. 33 00:01:58,577 --> 00:02:00,496 I kind of decided the only person 34 00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:03,374 that can really answer that question is Jesus and you. 35 00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:09,338 After my internship the next spring, I ran into Ron at the Acquire the Fire, 36 00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:10,881 when it came to Muncie. 37 00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:14,760 And we sat together for 30 minutes. 38 00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:19,306 Dad came up, and he was like, "Oh, homosexuality is bad." 39 00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:22,852 He wished me well, and that was the last time I talked to Ron. 40 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:26,647 I wasn't quite, like, "I'm never touching this organization again." 41 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:29,525 However, in the few years following... 42 00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:32,027 -Let me hear your battle cry tonight! -[teens screaming] 43 00:02:32,111 --> 00:02:34,780 [Phil] ...Teen Mania just becomes crazier than you ever imagined. 44 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:40,286 Whoever speaks up most gets to shape the culture. 45 00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:44,373 Suddenly, he's holding events on the steps of government buildings. 46 00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,125 Do you consider being gay a crime? 47 00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:47,459 Well, we believe in purity. 48 00:02:47,543 --> 00:02:50,212 According to the Bible, it's not in God's plan. 49 00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:53,215 We won't be silenced! Our voices will be heard! 50 00:02:53,299 --> 00:02:56,927 The message they say is very divisive, rather than inclusive. 51 00:02:57,928 --> 00:02:59,638 The message of Jesus was divisive as well. 52 00:02:59,722 --> 00:03:03,100 [Phil] And Ron recruits a generation into holy war. 53 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,226 [screams] 54 00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:08,689 [Ron] Yes, Lord! Oh, God, give us this generation! 55 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:11,108 Oh, God, we're going to war! 56 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:14,028 [theme music playing] 57 00:03:23,162 --> 00:03:25,539 The gay marriage movement is spreading. 58 00:03:25,623 --> 00:03:28,751 [Jeff] In the early 2000s, same sex marriage was a big issue 59 00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:29,835 in the United States. 60 00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:34,298 The Christian right leaders, the Arlington Group in particular, 61 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:38,052 are sitting there thinking about, "How do we politically organize?" 62 00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:42,348 Same sex marriage was a battleground that they wanted to fight on. 63 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:48,562 The most dangerous national policy being considered now, 64 00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:51,857 of course, is same sex marriage. 65 00:03:51,941 --> 00:03:57,529 I think what's sometimes misunderstood about fundamentalism 66 00:03:57,613 --> 00:04:03,160 is it's not driven so much by any of the particular issues of the day. 67 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,956 The idea that a woman has rights, 68 00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:13,837 or the idea that your body is your own, and you can be queer or whoever you are, 69 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:19,593 these are all, in the fundamentalist mind, rebellions against the authority of God. 70 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:24,765 The promotion of homosexuality is a deplorable reality 71 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:28,769 that we cannot countenance. Something must be done. 72 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,980 This group has seen its cultural power declining. 73 00:04:31,063 --> 00:04:33,691 It has seen its numbers shrinking. 74 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:37,403 [newswoman] A large majority of young people support same sex marriage, 75 00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:42,449 leading some supporters to believe increasing national support is inevitable, 76 00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:45,159 as the younger generation gains more power. 77 00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:49,248 [Jeff] These men, who had been in it for a long time, 78 00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:52,835 knew that you got to capture these kids before it's too late. 79 00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:55,587 We need them because they're going to be voters in the future. 80 00:04:56,338 --> 00:05:00,592 They knew they needed that power. It was about cultivation, right? 81 00:05:00,676 --> 00:05:05,514 It was about long term victories. They needed that army of kids. 82 00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:09,351 They needed Ron, and Ron's ready. 83 00:05:09,435 --> 00:05:11,812 The last couple of years have been pretty alarming to me 84 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:15,274 because we have so much to lose if we lose this generation. 85 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:18,027 We could be in total moral chaos and anarchy 86 00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:21,530 if we don't turn this thing around. We've got to do something about it. 87 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:26,326 [Jeff] It's Ron's chance to be the good son trying to please his father. 88 00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:28,871 The world lulled us to sleep and told us things like, 89 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:33,751 "There's no right or wrong. Why not legalize gay marriage?" 90 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,795 I mean, come on. What's wrong? It's just a different thing. 91 00:05:35,878 --> 00:05:38,672 And besides, you were born that way." That's what the world told us. 92 00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:43,761 He desires to see a dramatic response. 93 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,888 He starts dreaming really big. 94 00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:51,268 What could be done to build a massive political force of kids 95 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:54,772 dedicated to a God-led nation? 96 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,274 And so he creates Battlecry. 97 00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:01,570 -[explosions] -[rock music playing] 98 00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:05,949 [Dani] Teen Mania already had the Honor Academy, Global Expeditions, 99 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,451 and Acquire the Fire. 100 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:14,249 Battlecry was designed to be a bigger Acquire the Fire. 101 00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,168 -[dramatic music playing] -[bell ringing] 102 00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:17,795 [fireworks screeching] 103 00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:23,092 [Phil] Battlecry was Acquire the Fire on steroids. 104 00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:24,843 [screams] 105 00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:29,139 I didn't hear you! Let me hear your battle cry tonight! 106 00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:32,768 [Dani] These were big stadium events, really getting people pumped up. 107 00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:37,356 I want to say he had Seals or something rappel down from part of the stadium. 108 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,735 But wait, there's more. 109 00:06:41,819 --> 00:06:44,279 We've launched a campaign called "Battlecry for a Generation". 110 00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:48,909 -This was a movement. -A call to be politically active. 111 00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:50,369 -"Battlecry for a Generation". -The book... 112 00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:51,411 Study series... 113 00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:55,082 [man] The ultimate interactive website, designed to launch you into battle, 114 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:58,085 and to help you be an intense warrior for Christ 115 00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,671 -as you fight on the front lines. -[gunshots] 116 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:04,633 [Jeff] Everything was a military metaphor, and he'd been using that before. 117 00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:07,344 But he took it to a new extreme. 118 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:10,181 And suddenly, it was like, "Oh, my gosh, there's news coverage of this." 119 00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:12,599 [choir music playing] 120 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:19,356 -Let me hear your battle cry tonight! -[screams] 121 00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:28,782 I'm looking at a whole army of young people who want to speak out. 122 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,618 [Jeff] It's The Red and the Black. 123 00:07:31,702 --> 00:07:37,666 This was fascism... in front of me, on a massive scale. 124 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:40,294 It goes from the idea of a Christian right 125 00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:42,880 that's like, "We want our piece of the pie," 126 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:47,467 to, "No, we're taking the whole thing. We're taking America back." 127 00:07:47,551 --> 00:07:49,553 [Ron] What if we quit listening to the culture, 128 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,222 and we said, "We want to shape the culture, 129 00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:53,056 instead of being shaped by the culture?" 130 00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:57,227 What if we said we want our voice to be heard instead of your voice to be heard? 131 00:07:57,311 --> 00:08:00,189 [Jeff] He no longer wanted the kids to turn away from the culture. 132 00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:02,024 Now he wanted them to take it over. 133 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,027 It was the first time that it was very much 134 00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:07,905 trying to get the youth involved in political issues, 135 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,782 as opposed to just being an event to inspire them. 136 00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:15,412 [reporter] This sounds like a message of bringing back your values, 137 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,664 but it's actually a message of intolerance and of hate. 138 00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:21,376 Now, you could say it's divisive. Well, maybe it needs to be divisive. 139 00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,879 He starts gathering in support 140 00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:29,718 from pretty serious conservative sources of capital. 141 00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:30,636 The Arlington Group. 142 00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:33,597 -I want you to join the Battlecry... -Battlecry. 143 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,765 [man] The Battlecry Coalition. 144 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,977 Ron did it. He brought them the children. 145 00:08:39,061 --> 00:08:44,107 Lord, as an army, we unite, and we say, "No! Enough is enough." 146 00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,652 They're a warrior, God. Use them. 147 00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:51,490 [Jeff] You've narrowed Christianity down to one word... "fight". 148 00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:54,660 [Ron] The enemy has declared war on you guys. 149 00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:57,996 It is time to strike back with the love of God. Are you ready? 150 00:08:58,080 --> 00:08:59,289 [screams] 151 00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,461 [Phil] If you build that army, 152 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,922 eventually you have to give them their marching orders. 153 00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:11,718 If you're telling them that it's all high stakes, 154 00:09:12,511 --> 00:09:15,555 eventually you got to point them into a battle. 155 00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:18,850 That pivot happened very quickly. 156 00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:21,353 Tens of thousands of teens waving banners 157 00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:23,939 and saying they're taking back their generation. 158 00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:27,651 We won't be silent! Our voices will be heard! 159 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,903 [Jeff] These big arena events are now accompanied by, 160 00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:33,907 "We're going to do a rally at some place of governance," 161 00:09:33,991 --> 00:09:37,577 to an explicitly political end. 162 00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:41,456 We've got virgin teenage America being raped on the sidewalk, 163 00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:43,834 and Americans just walk by and look at it. 164 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:47,004 [Jeff] Ron started leading the kids in political protests. 165 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,422 He'd never done that before. 166 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:52,467 One of the very early ones is in San Francisco. 167 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:58,974 He goes to San Francisco's City Hall because same sex marriages had 168 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:01,310 only a couple of years previous, become legal there. 169 00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:06,189 [Mica] I think he felt emboldened to go to San Francisco, 170 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:10,360 to the steps of City Hall, in the gayest city in America, 171 00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:13,572 and he wanted to plant himself right in the middle of the culture wars 172 00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:16,366 and get as many kids as he could to follow him. 173 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:17,326 And they said pretty explicitly, 174 00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:19,161 "We're not here because it's a heavily gay city. 175 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,247 We're here because it's one of the most secular cities in the country." 176 00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:22,456 They went there because of gay marriage. 177 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:24,833 In part, that's what they said in their press release. 178 00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:29,713 We're here as teenagers just to stand up, as the leaders of this cultural war, 179 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:32,007 that is just fighting up and saying enough is enough. 180 00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:35,802 [Phil] There is no doubt in my mind that they were seeing this 181 00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:41,516 as a confrontation between church and enemy of the church. 182 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:45,103 This was a movement upon San Francisco. 183 00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:49,316 San Francisco, God bless them, pushes back hard. 184 00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:51,777 [newswoman] Protesters were out in full force, 185 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:55,739 accusing the group of being anti-gay and anti-choice. 186 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,200 [man] Battlecry is not a harmless movement. 187 00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:02,037 Its program is fiercely anti-woman, 188 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:06,083 anti-gay, pro-war, and pro-obedience. 189 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:09,669 Battlecry is a tool to make the kids into little fascist zombies. 190 00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:12,798 "The army of God." You guys don't see anything wrong with the army of God? 191 00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:15,592 They're calling us angry, yet they were the ones angry. 192 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,178 We didn't realize that it was kind of a hotbed 193 00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:25,102 for a very violent response to people who represent the Bible. 194 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,687 I can't imagine they would play ignorant, 195 00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:28,355 of like, "Oh, I didn't even realize." 196 00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:32,275 To represent a far bigger agenda. A Christian right, theocratic agenda. 197 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,152 Joining us now from Washington, Ron Luce. 198 00:11:34,236 --> 00:11:36,696 They think you might want a theocracy in this country? 199 00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,949 -Is that true? -Absolutely not. 200 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:42,035 We just want young people to have a voice. We're being drowned out. 201 00:11:42,119 --> 00:11:44,996 Do you want the Bible to go over into public policy? 202 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:48,290 We want just Judeo-Christian values that made our nation great, 203 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,752 and it's really less about what I want. 204 00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:52,155 It's what these young people are voicing their own opinion. 205 00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:55,674 We were at war. 206 00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:58,218 We were an army for God. 207 00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:01,138 We were going to rise up with a battle cry. 208 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,348 But the bad thing about using 209 00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:06,601 that sort of mindset is that you create a soldier 210 00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:10,939 who will follow orders in an unquestioning way, 211 00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:14,109 because that's what you have to do when you're being shot at. 212 00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:15,735 [sighs] 213 00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:22,033 I don't know how you segment your mind to not think 214 00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:27,164 about the ramifications of what you are doing to kids. 215 00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:32,502 [Dani] Honor Academy interns were behind the scenes, 216 00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:35,130 running almost everything that you saw at these events. 217 00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:36,798 We were working 15-hour days. 218 00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:39,342 You're sacrificing yourself for this vision. 219 00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,928 Teen Mania was like a giant systemic machine. 220 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,723 [Corey] We did dozens of cities in a row, 221 00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:47,225 sleeping on a bus as we drove through the night. 222 00:12:47,309 --> 00:12:49,102 We were exhausted. 223 00:12:49,186 --> 00:12:52,355 I got shingles... from the stress. 224 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:55,525 They'd given us five dollars a day to eat with. 225 00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:57,169 We had to trust God for the rest of it. 226 00:12:58,069 --> 00:13:00,113 And I remember once running out of money, 227 00:13:00,197 --> 00:13:03,408 and I was like, "Okay, I'll just call it a fast." [laughs] 228 00:13:03,492 --> 00:13:09,206 All of those young people who provide the labor, that is his operation. 229 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:13,335 It is absolutely exploiting these kids. 230 00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:17,005 [Corey] At the Honor Academy, there was a monthly tuition. 231 00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:20,592 You pay to work. I was in the middle of the ministry team touring. 232 00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:22,427 They were starting to hound me for money. 233 00:13:22,511 --> 00:13:25,722 If you ever got behind on your payments, you would get kicked out. 234 00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:28,600 [Corey] When you don't have enough money in your account, 235 00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:31,686 they send you on what is called "a fundraising trip". 236 00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:34,273 They told me that they were going to send me on a fundraising trip 237 00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:37,943 or dismiss me after I've spent that entire year traveling the country, 238 00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:41,613 saving people for "them", getting people to go on mission trips for them. 239 00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:46,535 Here's a book on all the different things that you can do to raise funds. 240 00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:49,829 One of which included going door to door with a carton of eggs 241 00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:53,583 and having someone give you a donation to crack an egg over your head. 242 00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:57,921 I will let you crack an egg over my head for a donation of any amount. 243 00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:02,717 Crack an egg over my head. 244 00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:06,263 Shame, embarrassment. 245 00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:13,770 I think the theology of Teen Mania is based on the impossibility of the ask. 246 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:18,483 We're asking you to be something you can't be, if you're going to be human. 247 00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:22,195 There's no point where you say, "I did it." You're always failing. 248 00:14:22,279 --> 00:14:28,201 Well, then, try more, do more, become more, serve more, submit more. 249 00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:33,665 These kids, they were disposable. 250 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,295 About a quarter of the interns didn't last the whole year. 251 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,547 Whether it was they couldn't raise the money, 252 00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:43,133 or they broke one of the rules. 253 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,926 People who broke a rule, 254 00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:47,804 they would get a "BV", which was a bon voyage, 255 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,181 which was a very unceremonious exit. 256 00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:53,560 Within 24 hours, you were out of campus, like you were kicked out like that. 257 00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:55,229 Once they were gone, you never spoke to them again. 258 00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:56,872 It was like they never existed, almost. 259 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:03,320 I was dismissed for kissing a boy, and it was just a kiss. 260 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:07,782 So this is the ministry team, and I would like you to see what goes on here. 261 00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:13,788 The people that I have grown to love and know the best, 262 00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:15,790 now, they weren't allowed to talk to me. 263 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:21,171 They had to delete my number, and I was kicked off campus. 264 00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:26,176 It was just like I did not exist. 265 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,510 Very lonely. 266 00:15:28,803 --> 00:15:30,138 Very, very lonely. 267 00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:35,852 [singing] ♪ I miss you so ♪ 268 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:40,565 ♪ You don't even know ♪ 269 00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:43,485 [Carrie] You could return to the Honor Academy 270 00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,820 after you were kicked out of the program. 271 00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:48,782 However, we would have to humble ourselves. 272 00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:53,411 And once we had done all of the things that were required 273 00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:58,792 by Dave, by Ron, then we could reapply to come back. 274 00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:02,379 A lot of us wanted to go back. 275 00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:06,257 Nobody knew how to live out in the world anymore. 276 00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:11,930 I went through a really rough year, but I was able to go back. 277 00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:14,724 [Jeff] The more you get into that guilt cycle, 278 00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:19,396 the more committed you become to the organization, the more unworthy you are, 279 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:22,607 the more grateful you are for them letting you stay there. 280 00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:27,362 I just made choices that I shouldn't have knowingly, 281 00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:28,863 like knowing that it was wrong. 282 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,658 Knowing that there would be consequences. 283 00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:38,707 [Dani] After I came back to Teen Mania, I ended up in an Acquire the Fire video. 284 00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:43,336 [singing] ♪ I've been where you are, and then some ♪ 285 00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:47,882 ♪ I know exactly what you're feeling ♪ 286 00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:53,179 ♪ I've been with my share of gentlemen ♪ 287 00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:56,141 [Dani] In that video, we're supposed to mimic this story 288 00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:58,101 in the Bible of the adulterous woman. 289 00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:01,813 "He has no sin cast the first stone." 290 00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:06,608 But in the video, it's this woman, me, in this room. 291 00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:09,362 The door opens, and these three men come in. 292 00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:15,076 And the video was shown all across America, 293 00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:17,912 every Acquire the Fire that year. 294 00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:24,042 I, as a woman, who was shamed for something that I had done, 295 00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:28,339 was now in a video broadcast to the world 296 00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:32,844 about a woman who is shamed for what she had done. 297 00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:37,390 But I volunteered to do it. 298 00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:45,148 [Jeff] The indoctrination is complete now. 299 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:47,776 It is inside you. 300 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:52,489 You're doing it to yourself, and you're doing it willingly. 301 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,327 And then it was my turn to be erased. 302 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,332 I was still working as Ron's assistant. 303 00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:08,338 I was just getting super, super depressed, and I didn't understand why. 304 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:11,800 I read my Bible every day. I had my quiet times. I prayed. 305 00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:15,261 I only hung out with Christian people. I didn't date, you know, I served God. 306 00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:16,888 I was on fire for God. 307 00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:22,393 I thought that doing all of the right things would lead to the right outcome. 308 00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:25,563 And so why am I so depressed? Why am I suicidal? 309 00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:29,359 Why do I feel so much guilt and shame and condemnation all the time? 310 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,362 I must be doing it wrong. I must have sin. 311 00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:37,450 There must be something bad about me that's just irredeemable and broken. 312 00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:42,789 Every day they tell you you're elite, you're changing the world. 313 00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:46,209 So they're pumping you up all the time. They're also breaking you down. 314 00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:49,254 Sin, guilt, shame. You're bad. All of these things. 315 00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:51,631 And to the point that you're in a prison, nobody else can see it, 316 00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:53,466 but the prison is in your mind. 317 00:18:56,886 --> 00:19:00,306 This whole Teen Mania thing has had me way down. 318 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:02,976 All this depression crap and this low self-esteem, 319 00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:04,561 always thinking the most negative thing, 320 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:07,981 always just wallowing in self-pity and depression. 321 00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:11,276 I just can't live like this anymore. That's where I'm at right now. 322 00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:16,447 Finally, I met with Dave Hasz. I was like, "I need help." 323 00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:19,492 I remember sitting across from him in his office. 324 00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:20,994 He looked at me and said, 325 00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:23,622 "Well, you just need to go to church more." 326 00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:26,875 I couldn't be doing more Christian stuff if I tried. 327 00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:28,710 I couldn't have done any more. 328 00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:32,755 And that was the moment where I was like, "No, I'm leaving. 329 00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,216 I'm not going to survive if I stay here." 330 00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:38,469 But it's scary to leave... 331 00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:41,431 that kind of an environment. 332 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,601 There's such a feeling of belonging and... 333 00:19:47,562 --> 00:19:52,275 [crying] and community, that's what keeps people there a lot. 334 00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:56,070 And it's hard to lose that. 335 00:19:56,988 --> 00:20:00,491 [sighs] Okay. [breathes deeply] 336 00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:03,953 [Phil] People construct an identity in that space of who they are. 337 00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:06,915 To leave is to separate from that identity. 338 00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:10,752 -Mm-hm. -So to move on to a new space 339 00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:14,380 was to leave that sense of self behind. 340 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:17,550 I think that makes almost an impossible choice. 341 00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:22,847 This life that you're so deeply entrenched in... is gone. 342 00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:26,517 I was caught in this in-between space. 343 00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:28,519 The stuff that really... 344 00:20:30,021 --> 00:20:36,069 caused the most trauma is stuff that it's a lot harder to put on video. 345 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,988 It took a while for me to... 346 00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:43,826 actually talk about everything that happened 347 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:46,537 because I thought it was normal. 348 00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:49,457 I left Teen Mania feeling something was wrong with me. 349 00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:51,250 I internalized a lot of that. 350 00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:55,296 I excused a lot of what went on there 351 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:59,509 because it's like, you must protect your authority figures. 352 00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:02,553 Even when we were grown up and adults and married with kids, 353 00:21:02,637 --> 00:21:04,138 we still didn't talk about it. 354 00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:09,102 I never planned to be the demise of Teen Mania. 355 00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:10,520 Um... [sniffles] 356 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,647 I just thought, I want to help somebody 357 00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:15,483 and give them the advice that I wish somebody gave me. 358 00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:16,651 [typing] 359 00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:19,612 [Phil] Teen Mania has an alumni bulletin board, 360 00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:23,032 and people would have threads talking about current events. 361 00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:27,328 But there started to be people who had beef and wanted to talk about it. 362 00:21:27,412 --> 00:21:30,206 Teen Mania was stopping that discourse. 363 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:34,127 "Well, if you don't like this, this is a Teen Mania paid for space, 364 00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:37,046 so you can pay for your own space." 365 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:41,884 Which Mica took very seriously. [laughs] 366 00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:48,307 [Mica] It was about ten years after I left, when I started the blog. 367 00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:57,483 And at that time, Teen Mania was really at the peak of their popularity. 368 00:21:58,526 --> 00:22:00,778 [screams] 369 00:22:00,862 --> 00:22:04,907 [Ron] You're just showing your city that there are young people that love God, 370 00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:07,160 that you don't want to be manipulated by a bunch of old people 371 00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:09,454 making money off destroying you. 372 00:22:10,371 --> 00:22:13,458 [Mica] Teen Mania was raking in $20 million a year. 373 00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:16,627 Even George W. Bush endorsed Teen Mania. 374 00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:24,761 I started the blog as an outlet for people to share their stories 375 00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:30,349 and to tell the truth about what Teen Mania actually is like and find healing. 376 00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:32,810 I wrote the blog anonymously at the beginning 377 00:22:32,894 --> 00:22:36,189 because it was really important to me that people will contend with the arguments 378 00:22:36,272 --> 00:22:38,649 that I was making and not with who I was as a person. 379 00:22:41,652 --> 00:22:45,364 I think the fact that it had been so repressed, 380 00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:47,116 as soon as a little opening came, 381 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:48,880 people were ready to rush through the door. 382 00:22:55,166 --> 00:22:57,293 [Carrie] Nobody knew who was behind the blog, 383 00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:59,670 but I reached out to the person. 384 00:23:00,755 --> 00:23:03,091 I just said, "Hey, thank you for saying this." 385 00:23:04,675 --> 00:23:08,846 You are now validating everything that I already knew. 386 00:23:10,473 --> 00:23:13,351 When Mica started the Recovering Alumni blog, 387 00:23:13,434 --> 00:23:14,852 she sent it to me and said, 388 00:23:14,936 --> 00:23:18,356 "Hey, I'm starting this. I invite you to be a part of it." 389 00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:22,110 And I was like, "I love this. I love this engagement. This is fun." 390 00:23:23,319 --> 00:23:25,530 [Mica] We had a really lively comment section, 391 00:23:25,613 --> 00:23:27,323 just trying to validate each other. 392 00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:30,618 Like, "Yeah, you did go through that, and that was heinous." 393 00:23:31,953 --> 00:23:34,330 [Phil] There started to be threads and more and more threads. 394 00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:36,958 "Hey, what about this? Hey, did anybody..." 395 00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:41,003 Like little pieces, and I start reading it every day. 396 00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:44,549 It was very shocking. Over the top, over the line abusive. 397 00:23:45,133 --> 00:23:47,301 They would take a team of us to an abandoned well 398 00:23:47,385 --> 00:23:48,970 and make them crawl down the hole. 399 00:23:49,053 --> 00:23:51,597 [Zachariah] Riding around in four-wheelers, 400 00:23:51,681 --> 00:23:53,933 shooting at us with paintball guns. 401 00:23:54,016 --> 00:23:56,394 [Corey] They had people actually eating cat food. 402 00:23:56,477 --> 00:23:58,605 [Mica] One of the people in my company lost consciousness, 403 00:23:58,688 --> 00:24:01,399 and the other was finally released when her temperature reached 102. 404 00:24:01,482 --> 00:24:06,404 [Carrie] Permanent physical injuries. Permanent trauma, real life torture. 405 00:24:07,113 --> 00:24:08,782 [Mica] I was actually locked in the coffin twice, 406 00:24:08,865 --> 00:24:13,578 during my ESOAL, with mice and Madagascar hissing cockroaches. 407 00:24:13,661 --> 00:24:16,873 [Carrie] They were publishing stories from survivors 408 00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:19,333 who detailed their experiences of abuse. 409 00:24:21,294 --> 00:24:24,755 [Mica] But I think everybody felt like somebody is finally hearing it. 410 00:24:25,756 --> 00:24:29,468 Because it's a really particular kind of loneliness 411 00:24:29,552 --> 00:24:31,429 to go through something, 412 00:24:31,512 --> 00:24:34,015 and then to have nobody believe you about what you went through. 413 00:24:34,098 --> 00:24:36,893 -[clicks] -[dramatic music playing] 414 00:24:44,233 --> 00:24:45,276 [clicks] 415 00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:50,740 [over phone] 416 00:25:05,087 --> 00:25:08,382 [Mica] Once the blog took off and a lot of people were sharing stories, 417 00:25:08,466 --> 00:25:12,136 I realized that this was widespread enough, 418 00:25:12,220 --> 00:25:14,222 it needed to be addressed. 419 00:25:15,431 --> 00:25:19,644 And so I gathered 20 pages of stories. 420 00:25:21,020 --> 00:25:25,441 I FedExed it to each and every board members' home or business, 421 00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:29,779 and contacted Dave Hasz, who was in charge of the Honor Academy. 422 00:25:29,862 --> 00:25:31,739 You know, had gone through all the levels of leadership, 423 00:25:31,822 --> 00:25:36,953 and expected or hoped that they would read this and go, 424 00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:39,538 "Oh, man, I had no idea this was going... 425 00:25:39,622 --> 00:25:42,083 We've got to get on this. We got to fix this. This is awful." 426 00:25:42,166 --> 00:25:43,918 That is not the response that we got. 427 00:25:45,670 --> 00:25:47,505 [over phone] 428 00:26:57,116 --> 00:26:59,285 If they had just apologized, 429 00:26:59,368 --> 00:27:01,996 there were so many people who would have never continued 430 00:27:02,079 --> 00:27:03,081 -telling their stories. -Yeah. 431 00:27:03,164 --> 00:27:08,627 And there was no willingness to do that. And that solidified into, "Oh, really? 432 00:27:08,711 --> 00:27:10,838 You're going to deny that this happened to me?" 433 00:27:10,921 --> 00:27:13,341 This isn't coming from Satanists 434 00:27:13,424 --> 00:27:16,552 or people that hate Jesus or hate the church. 435 00:27:16,635 --> 00:27:18,637 This is people that are part of the church. 436 00:27:18,721 --> 00:27:20,806 You know, we followed all the confrontation rules. 437 00:27:20,890 --> 00:27:23,225 We came to you with our grievances privately. 438 00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:25,561 You didn't listen, so now we go to the press. 439 00:27:25,644 --> 00:27:29,440 Crawling through the mud and rolling down a hill until you vomit. 440 00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:30,900 All in the name of Jesus. 441 00:27:30,983 --> 00:27:34,278 Teenagers are put through strenuous exercises and sleep deprivation 442 00:27:34,362 --> 00:27:38,115 to, as their website says, "Learn to rely on God's strength." 443 00:27:38,199 --> 00:27:40,618 If we weren't doing it correctly, besides getting punished, 444 00:27:40,701 --> 00:27:43,120 They'd say it pays to be a winner, and you're a loser. 445 00:27:43,204 --> 00:27:44,789 It pays to be a winner, and you're a loser. 446 00:27:44,872 --> 00:27:47,291 [newsman] His injuries ranged from cuts and bruises 447 00:27:47,375 --> 00:27:49,668 to more serious sprains and infections. 448 00:27:49,752 --> 00:27:55,091 Last year, we had the bus come by and drop about ten patients off. 449 00:27:55,174 --> 00:27:58,260 [newsman] Mica Marley started "My Teen Mania Experience" blog. 450 00:27:58,344 --> 00:28:02,473 It's absolutely shocking that you could brainwash a young adult 451 00:28:02,556 --> 00:28:05,351 to roll down a hill through other people's vomit 452 00:28:05,434 --> 00:28:07,186 and somehow think that's a spiritual activity. 453 00:28:07,269 --> 00:28:08,396 It's just blows my mind. 454 00:28:08,479 --> 00:28:11,148 [newsman] A Facebook group called "I've Rolled the Hill" 455 00:28:11,232 --> 00:28:13,692 discusses an ESOAL rite of passage, 456 00:28:13,776 --> 00:28:16,237 rolling down a hill to the point of sickness. 457 00:28:18,197 --> 00:28:21,700 Parents that are sending their kids have no idea 458 00:28:21,784 --> 00:28:24,370 what is actually going on in those woods back there. 459 00:28:25,788 --> 00:28:29,208 It was really exciting to see that there were some other people 460 00:28:29,291 --> 00:28:33,295 who were trying to kind of raise the alarm that this group's up to something weird. 461 00:28:33,379 --> 00:28:37,133 Teen Mania suspended the ESOAL program after the in-depth look. 462 00:28:38,467 --> 00:28:43,931 [Mica] And then to counter the bad press, Teen Mania went into full damage control. 463 00:28:47,685 --> 00:28:49,937 They were just not in a good place to help fight 464 00:28:50,020 --> 00:28:52,314 what the people of Recovering Alumni were doing. 465 00:28:52,815 --> 00:28:55,818 And so I was brought in to help fight that directly. 466 00:28:56,694 --> 00:28:59,238 I had a background in conservative politics. 467 00:28:59,864 --> 00:29:01,657 I had been at Americans for Prosperity, 468 00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:04,994 which focused on the fight to get conservative influence 469 00:29:05,077 --> 00:29:06,495 at the highest offices. 470 00:29:06,579 --> 00:29:10,583 Whether I was working for a campaign, my job was to represent Christ 471 00:29:10,666 --> 00:29:13,878 and ultimately to speak boldly and live boldly for Christ. 472 00:29:16,046 --> 00:29:18,841 The first time I went to Teen Mania campus, 473 00:29:21,302 --> 00:29:23,429 I was impressed as hell. 474 00:29:23,512 --> 00:29:26,557 The idea of raising up an army of young people for God 475 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,767 was part and parcel of my beliefs. 476 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,813 I immediately started looking at the Recovering Alumni website. 477 00:29:32,897 --> 00:29:36,650 The stories sounded so extreme and bizarre. 478 00:29:36,734 --> 00:29:39,153 I thought, "There's no way this is real." 479 00:29:39,737 --> 00:29:45,910 I thought this is a typical left-wing exaggeration of a Christian organization. 480 00:29:46,410 --> 00:29:50,956 I was going to come in and help quell this attack from Satan 481 00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:53,751 to help a ministry that has been so effective 482 00:29:53,834 --> 00:29:57,630 in helping so many thousands of teenagers lives over the decades. 483 00:29:59,048 --> 00:30:03,552 I said, "I can help you fight this effectively persecution 484 00:30:03,636 --> 00:30:04,637 that you're facing." 485 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:06,430 -[clicks] -[typing] 486 00:30:06,514 --> 00:30:09,266 I learned about Mica early on. 487 00:30:09,350 --> 00:30:12,603 Here we are in Texas, in the rain, in camouflage ponchos, 488 00:30:12,686 --> 00:30:14,939 carrying a cross down the side of the road. 489 00:30:15,022 --> 00:30:18,901 Okay, if that doesn't look like a cult, I don't know what does. 490 00:30:20,069 --> 00:30:22,488 Mica was public enemy number one. 491 00:30:23,822 --> 00:30:27,701 I come up with a crisis communications plan. 492 00:30:29,286 --> 00:30:35,626 My strategy was to go on this blitz to bury Recovering Alumni 493 00:30:35,709 --> 00:30:38,212 with positive messages about Teen Mania. 494 00:30:38,295 --> 00:30:42,841 So having a passionate Christianity can be a little bit unusual. 495 00:30:42,925 --> 00:30:46,428 It's not the most popular thing, and we know that because of that, 496 00:30:46,512 --> 00:30:50,307 it being a little unusual, that it can also be misunderstood. 497 00:30:50,391 --> 00:30:52,810 ESOAL was a very positive and... 498 00:30:54,186 --> 00:30:56,564 very lasting experience. 499 00:30:56,647 --> 00:30:58,482 You have medical people, you have EMTs. 500 00:30:58,566 --> 00:31:01,277 You have the staff that are constantly asking you, "Are you okay?" 501 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:05,739 The Honor Academy cultivates a protected safe environment. 502 00:31:05,823 --> 00:31:10,327 Former interns, influential people connected to the ministry. 503 00:31:10,411 --> 00:31:13,747 We just looped everybody in who had a positive experience with Teen Mania. 504 00:31:13,831 --> 00:31:17,167 You know, whenever someone asked me what organization 505 00:31:17,251 --> 00:31:21,255 is making the greatest impact upon students in the United States, 506 00:31:21,338 --> 00:31:24,425 My answer is Teen Mania, led by Ron Luce. 507 00:31:24,508 --> 00:31:28,596 25 years of spreading light and life to teenagers. 508 00:31:28,679 --> 00:31:34,393 You are making an impact in America on young people that you cannot measure. 509 00:31:34,476 --> 00:31:36,604 Influential mega pastors or Christian authors. 510 00:31:36,687 --> 00:31:38,022 God bless you. 511 00:31:38,105 --> 00:31:40,774 He was trying to get credibility from all of these other people, 512 00:31:40,858 --> 00:31:42,192 and they were lending it to him. 513 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:49,825 We had a very Internet-focused effort, with the intent that Recovering Alumni 514 00:31:49,908 --> 00:31:51,911 would not se the light of day on page one of Google. 515 00:31:51,994 --> 00:31:54,997 I even had people writing reviews on Yelp, 516 00:31:58,042 --> 00:32:00,919 on all of Ron's books on Amazon. [laughs] 517 00:32:02,004 --> 00:32:03,756 [Mica] You could write as many good press releases as you want, 518 00:32:03,839 --> 00:32:07,551 but if you've got 50 or 100 kids pouring out their guts to you 519 00:32:07,635 --> 00:32:11,388 and telling you, "I went, and I loved God. I was abused in this way. 520 00:32:11,472 --> 00:32:12,723 I have nightmares every night." 521 00:32:12,806 --> 00:32:15,768 How many stories can you read before you go, 522 00:32:15,851 --> 00:32:17,019 "Okay, there might be something wrong there." 523 00:32:17,102 --> 00:32:20,147 Parents were reading my blog, and once they were reading my blog, 524 00:32:20,230 --> 00:32:21,857 they were not sending their children. 525 00:32:24,735 --> 00:32:26,945 The spiral was starting, and they saw it. 526 00:32:28,238 --> 00:32:31,325 [Cindy] We were ready to do anything to stop 527 00:32:31,408 --> 00:32:34,995 the dwindling numbers of Honor Academy attendance. 528 00:32:35,079 --> 00:32:36,455 [applause] 529 00:32:36,538 --> 00:32:38,832 Let me ask you this. How many of you guys have a voice? 530 00:32:39,541 --> 00:32:42,586 [cheering] 531 00:32:42,670 --> 00:32:44,380 You just got to use your voice. 532 00:32:45,339 --> 00:32:48,133 [Mica] There's thousands of people that have been through the program, 533 00:32:48,217 --> 00:32:50,552 and a lot remain loyal to Teen Mania. 534 00:32:51,553 --> 00:32:54,556 They've all been trained for battle, and they all think I'm the enemy. 535 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,643 [Carrie] People with harass her. Harass her dogs. 536 00:32:57,726 --> 00:32:59,103 She suffered death threats. 537 00:32:59,186 --> 00:33:02,564 She was the one who took the bulk of the hate. 538 00:33:02,648 --> 00:33:04,191 I know it took a toll on her. 539 00:33:05,526 --> 00:33:08,028 She did so much for us. 540 00:33:09,363 --> 00:33:11,448 -[typing] -[clicks] 541 00:33:11,532 --> 00:33:15,077 [Mica] By 2012, my blog was on the very front page of Google, 542 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:16,453 if you searched Teen Mania, 543 00:33:16,537 --> 00:33:18,872 and I was hurting their numbers quite a bit. 544 00:33:18,956 --> 00:33:22,042 And if they don't get new interns, they're not getting new labor. 545 00:33:22,126 --> 00:33:24,670 And if they're not getting new labor, they can't keep putting on 546 00:33:24,753 --> 00:33:26,505 the amount of events that they're putting on. 547 00:33:26,588 --> 00:33:29,007 And that was money in Teen Mania's pocket. 548 00:33:29,466 --> 00:33:33,971 Listen, we're in an urgent moment right now in the history of teen ministry. 549 00:33:34,054 --> 00:33:36,932 Give us the name, and help us get connected with a young person. 550 00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:38,934 We'll give you a certificate you can hand to them. 551 00:33:39,017 --> 00:33:42,813 [Ron] There are rumors out there I've seen, "Is Teen Mania in bankruptcy?" 552 00:33:42,896 --> 00:33:43,981 No, we're not in bankruptcy. 553 00:33:44,064 --> 00:33:46,942 If we're in bankruptcy, we'd be having a whole different conversation. 554 00:33:47,025 --> 00:33:49,778 You may have already given already, so thank you very much for that. 555 00:33:49,862 --> 00:33:53,282 But if anything you could possibly do, a small gift, a large gift, 556 00:33:53,365 --> 00:33:56,076 together, we're going to do something just amazing. 557 00:33:56,160 --> 00:34:00,664 [Cindy] And then Ron very excitedly announced good news. 558 00:34:00,748 --> 00:34:03,000 We're going to give the campus back to the bank. 559 00:34:03,083 --> 00:34:05,669 But this is a good thing because we're going to move to Dallas. 560 00:34:05,753 --> 00:34:08,964 And of course, people are asking about the finances. [laughs] 561 00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:10,382 Is this related to finances? 562 00:34:10,466 --> 00:34:14,261 And he said, "Well, no, this is for us to streamline, 563 00:34:14,344 --> 00:34:16,179 be closer to the DFW Airport, 564 00:34:16,263 --> 00:34:20,141 and we've got a press release that we're going to send out about this." 565 00:34:20,684 --> 00:34:21,976 Some exciting news. 566 00:34:22,060 --> 00:34:25,188 We're moving our headquarters from Garden Valley, Texas, 567 00:34:25,272 --> 00:34:30,068 right to the middle of a world class city, in Dallas, Texas. 568 00:34:30,152 --> 00:34:33,030 You know, the one great thing when you go to a population mass like Dallas, 569 00:34:33,112 --> 00:34:34,406 there's hurting people everywhere. 570 00:34:34,489 --> 00:34:36,492 And we're going to get lots of practice reaching out to them. 571 00:34:36,574 --> 00:34:41,079 To Jesus, we just... are so very grateful. 572 00:34:41,163 --> 00:34:44,625 I saw the bank statement, and it said foreclosure. 573 00:34:46,001 --> 00:34:48,253 Because of failure to pay. 574 00:34:49,254 --> 00:34:51,799 Ron was trying to salvage a sinking ship. 575 00:34:53,050 --> 00:34:55,803 It was my job to send out this press release. 576 00:34:55,886 --> 00:34:57,679 What's in this press release is a lie. 577 00:34:57,763 --> 00:35:00,390 Ron denied that they were in foreclosure, 578 00:35:00,474 --> 00:35:05,270 saying that they were returning the property to the bank, 579 00:35:05,354 --> 00:35:07,606 instead of, "We're broke." 580 00:35:07,689 --> 00:35:11,735 The Ten Commandments say do not tell lies, like God cares about telling the truth. 581 00:35:11,819 --> 00:35:14,655 I pleaded with Ron to please tell the truth. 582 00:35:14,738 --> 00:35:18,116 I believe in Teen Mania. I believe in you. Please tell the truth. 583 00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:19,243 And he wouldn't. 584 00:35:21,578 --> 00:35:25,415 And then I had a meeting to discuss Recovering Alumni. 585 00:35:26,750 --> 00:35:31,046 A post had come out about someone who had been exorcized. 586 00:35:35,884 --> 00:35:39,012 And I said in this meeting, "This is so absurd. 587 00:35:39,096 --> 00:35:40,722 Of course this didn't happen." 588 00:35:42,057 --> 00:35:45,018 They looked at me, didn't say a word. 589 00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:48,814 And I was like, "It didn't happen, right?" 590 00:35:48,897 --> 00:35:51,108 And they didn't say anything, but switched topic. 591 00:35:55,028 --> 00:35:57,531 I was just like, "Oh, my God, it's true." 592 00:35:59,867 --> 00:36:04,454 To me, that was a telltale sign that that did happen, 593 00:36:04,538 --> 00:36:07,457 and probably many other things on the Recovering Alumni website happened. 594 00:36:07,541 --> 00:36:09,251 And I was just stunned. 595 00:36:09,334 --> 00:36:12,546 I just felt this like cold shudder go through my body. 596 00:36:13,005 --> 00:36:15,173 When you know the truth, you can't go back. 597 00:36:18,552 --> 00:36:22,556 At the same time, Acquire the Fire events were being canceled. 598 00:36:23,056 --> 00:36:24,892 Youth groups did not get their money back. 599 00:36:24,975 --> 00:36:27,603 When Global Expeditions trips are being canceled, 600 00:36:27,686 --> 00:36:30,939 these teen missionaries did not get their money back. 601 00:36:31,023 --> 00:36:32,274 They're not wealthy kids. 602 00:36:32,357 --> 00:36:36,069 These are kids who did car washes, bake sales, 603 00:36:36,153 --> 00:36:40,198 fund raised like crazy, and Ron stole their money. 604 00:36:40,866 --> 00:36:44,036 My mission at that time became to expose the truth. 605 00:36:46,038 --> 00:36:51,627 I worked with other internal and external folks at Teen Media and with alumni. 606 00:36:51,710 --> 00:36:54,296 I had a friend who worked in World Magazine. 607 00:36:55,839 --> 00:36:58,467 And I just called him up, I'm like, "Hey, I've got a story for you." 608 00:36:58,550 --> 00:37:00,928 And he's like, "Okay, are you sure you want to do this?" 609 00:37:01,011 --> 00:37:05,474 I'm like, "Yes, this needs to get out there. Ron is stealing money from kids." 610 00:37:05,557 --> 00:37:08,936 [dramatic music playing] 611 00:37:21,490 --> 00:37:24,660 And then the announcement of a shutdown came out. 612 00:37:26,662 --> 00:37:29,539 [music intensifies] 613 00:37:32,292 --> 00:37:34,378 They never restarted the internship again. 614 00:37:35,504 --> 00:37:36,880 It was over. 615 00:37:38,507 --> 00:37:41,218 I remember thinking that was crazy. 616 00:37:41,301 --> 00:37:43,304 I didn't really think that that was going to happen. 617 00:37:43,387 --> 00:37:44,638 I'm like, "Well, that'd be crazy." 618 00:37:44,721 --> 00:37:46,264 When we started the blog, 619 00:37:46,348 --> 00:37:51,019 Teen Mania was the biggest Christian youth organization in America, 620 00:37:51,103 --> 00:37:53,480 and the idea that they would just go out of business, 621 00:37:53,563 --> 00:37:56,984 that was never even a possibility in my mind. 622 00:37:57,067 --> 00:37:58,068 It was certainly never the goal. 623 00:37:58,151 --> 00:38:00,751 The goal was just to help people who had been through the program. 624 00:38:02,114 --> 00:38:04,908 A brave group of survivors were the ones 625 00:38:04,992 --> 00:38:09,287 that eventually caused Teen Mania's demise. 626 00:38:10,122 --> 00:38:12,916 I was so happy. [laughs] 627 00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:18,296 They took advantage of a lot of very sincere kids, 628 00:38:18,380 --> 00:38:22,009 and that genuinely makes me angrier now. 629 00:38:29,224 --> 00:38:33,020 It makes me a lot angrier now than I ever was when I was young. 630 00:38:37,649 --> 00:38:41,945 [Ron] But when you die to yourself, that's when He breathes real life in you. 631 00:38:44,906 --> 00:38:47,868 And we've been talking about, there's a battle going on for your generation. 632 00:38:47,951 --> 00:38:51,246 And this morning, we're talking about the battle for your mind 633 00:38:51,329 --> 00:38:53,999 and for your dollars and for your identity. 634 00:38:54,791 --> 00:38:58,128 But God wants you to be a warrior that's known only as a follower of Christ. 635 00:39:00,172 --> 00:39:04,760 [Mica] It took me many years to get that voice out of my head. 636 00:39:09,097 --> 00:39:11,058 There's a lot of things that stem back to Teen Mania 637 00:39:11,141 --> 00:39:13,935 that are still traumatic, that I hold in my body. 638 00:39:15,395 --> 00:39:18,774 Thinking if I make any type of mistake, I'm going to lose everyone. 639 00:39:19,566 --> 00:39:21,943 I'm thankful that Teen Mania's not around anymore. 640 00:39:24,780 --> 00:39:27,657 Even though Ron's trying to start a new thing somewhere. 641 00:39:27,741 --> 00:39:32,287 After Teen Mania went bankrupt in 2015, 642 00:39:32,370 --> 00:39:35,373 Ron has been trying get other ministries going, 643 00:39:35,457 --> 00:39:38,085 and so he's gone overseas. 644 00:39:40,253 --> 00:39:43,507 Ron is trying to kind of replicate what he did with Teen Mania. 645 00:39:43,590 --> 00:39:46,635 This week, we're praying that God will infect and invade the hearts 646 00:39:46,718 --> 00:39:49,513 of thousands of Burmese people, that were Buddhists. 647 00:39:50,222 --> 00:39:54,810 [Phil] He's toured around Africa to support and train pastors. 648 00:39:56,269 --> 00:39:59,898 He doesn't call it Teen Mania, but the talking points are all the same. 649 00:39:59,981 --> 00:40:03,235 And his methods, from what I've seen, are all the same. 650 00:40:03,318 --> 00:40:10,158 Why don't we give a big hand to our beloved brother, pastor, Ron Luce? 651 00:40:10,951 --> 00:40:13,078 [cheering] 652 00:40:14,704 --> 00:40:18,708 I think Ron really believed he was called by God 653 00:40:18,792 --> 00:40:21,002 to share the gospel with teenagers. 654 00:40:21,086 --> 00:40:24,339 I think there's this undercurrent of the ends justify the means. 655 00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:27,259 I think he sincerely doesn't know any other way of doing things. 656 00:40:28,844 --> 00:40:33,640 I do think Ron and Dave are victims 657 00:40:33,723 --> 00:40:36,101 as much as they are also perpetrators. 658 00:40:38,019 --> 00:40:44,192 They also have to live in this narrow, prescribed, rigid way of living. 659 00:40:46,778 --> 00:40:48,530 If you're telling other people that they're bad, 660 00:40:48,613 --> 00:40:50,949 they're evil, they're shameful, you also believe that about yourself. 661 00:40:51,032 --> 00:40:54,995 It's so hard not to psychoanalyze Ron Luce, 662 00:40:55,078 --> 00:40:59,791 this man who went looking for a father his whole life. 663 00:41:00,584 --> 00:41:05,338 If he could have just accepted that the wounds of his youth lived with him... 664 00:41:05,422 --> 00:41:08,300 Instead, he had to find a whole political apparatus, 665 00:41:08,383 --> 00:41:13,305 and then he had to drag all these other young people into it, 666 00:41:13,388 --> 00:41:15,182 instead of contending with it. 667 00:41:15,265 --> 00:41:18,977 He had to spread it around to other young people who are just trying to grow up. 668 00:41:19,060 --> 00:41:23,148 It's like he wanted to lock them in to that same angry moment 669 00:41:23,231 --> 00:41:24,524 he couldn't get past. 670 00:41:26,109 --> 00:41:31,907 I think Ron Luce taught them that to be a Christian was to be angry. 671 00:41:31,990 --> 00:41:35,368 He took a lot of young people, who had a lot of intense emotions, 672 00:41:35,452 --> 00:41:40,540 and he told them that your anger, your fury, which can curdle into hate, 673 00:41:40,624 --> 00:41:41,958 that's the one that matters most. 674 00:41:44,252 --> 00:41:48,965 Some kids got out of Teen Mania, but most did not. 675 00:41:49,049 --> 00:41:51,843 The army Ron trained is still out there. 676 00:41:51,927 --> 00:41:55,847 Teen Mania was part of a movement to blow up the order as it is 677 00:41:55,931 --> 00:41:59,226 and to build a new kingdom. It's not done yet. 678 00:41:59,309 --> 00:42:01,519 Welcome to the end of democracy. 679 00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,022 We're here to overthrow it completely. 680 00:42:04,105 --> 00:42:05,816 We didn't get all the way there on January sixth, 681 00:42:05,899 --> 00:42:09,736 but we will endeavor to get rid of it and replace it. 682 00:42:09,819 --> 00:42:11,863 -Amen. -That's right. 683 00:42:11,947 --> 00:42:16,243 Because all glory, all glory is not to government, all glory to God. 684 00:42:16,326 --> 00:42:18,328 [applause] 685 00:42:19,829 --> 00:42:22,540 This whole democracy thing, how important is that? 686 00:42:22,624 --> 00:42:24,376 You know what? Let's just rewrite the Constitution. 687 00:42:24,459 --> 00:42:28,213 So now comes this idea called "Convention of States". 688 00:42:28,296 --> 00:42:30,799 [Pete] There is something called "Convention of States". 689 00:42:30,882 --> 00:42:33,551 Article five in our Constitution, it's gathering momentum. 690 00:42:33,635 --> 00:42:36,721 There's an intensity around the Convention of States 691 00:42:36,805 --> 00:42:39,099 -as an idea that really noticeable. -Yeah. 692 00:42:39,182 --> 00:42:40,308 There's a reason for that. 693 00:42:40,392 --> 00:42:44,729 The Convention of States is an effort, in essence, to amend the Constitution. 694 00:42:44,813 --> 00:42:48,233 [Jeff] Shred the Bill of Rights, First Amendment. 695 00:42:48,316 --> 00:42:50,193 Separation of church and state. 696 00:42:50,277 --> 00:42:51,737 The Convention of States has been endorsed 697 00:42:51,820 --> 00:42:56,074 by a number of influential evangelical leaders, including James Dobson. 698 00:42:56,157 --> 00:42:59,869 [James] Remember those words, "Convention of States". 699 00:42:59,953 --> 00:43:01,455 [Sarah] And also House Speaker Mike Johnson. 700 00:43:01,538 --> 00:43:05,166 An amendment may be proposed by two thirds of the states in a convention... 701 00:43:05,250 --> 00:43:07,711 And many, many others that have played an important role 702 00:43:07,794 --> 00:43:09,713 in the religious right for many years. 703 00:43:09,796 --> 00:43:12,632 They say it's about states rights, 704 00:43:13,425 --> 00:43:16,219 states rights, the battle cry of segregation. 705 00:43:17,262 --> 00:43:19,139 The battle cry of the Confederacy. 706 00:43:19,222 --> 00:43:20,932 It's about decentralizing power, 707 00:43:21,016 --> 00:43:24,436 and letting California be California, letting Idaho be Idaho. 708 00:43:24,519 --> 00:43:26,146 Let Alabama be Alabama. 709 00:43:26,229 --> 00:43:31,109 And that is not by any stretch of the imagination a United States. 710 00:43:32,319 --> 00:43:35,071 I spent a lot of my teen years on the campaign trail, 711 00:43:35,155 --> 00:43:38,241 laying the groundwork for the Tea Party movement. 712 00:43:38,325 --> 00:43:42,454 I was a true believer. I put my heart soul into this movement. 713 00:43:42,537 --> 00:43:46,458 It is an existential threat to democracy. 714 00:43:47,500 --> 00:43:51,129 The Convention of States is a way to amend the Constitution 715 00:43:51,212 --> 00:43:53,298 without using the normal federal Congress. 716 00:43:53,381 --> 00:43:56,885 They want to do it a different way that they are legally allowed to do. 717 00:43:56,968 --> 00:43:59,679 And they only need 34 states. 718 00:43:59,763 --> 00:44:02,724 They call a meeting to write amendments to the Constitution. 719 00:44:02,807 --> 00:44:05,018 Once they get in there and open the Constitution up, 720 00:44:05,101 --> 00:44:06,895 they can basically do whatever they want. 721 00:44:07,604 --> 00:44:11,691 They just need their army to vote for their state politicians 722 00:44:11,775 --> 00:44:13,109 in order to succeed. 723 00:44:16,488 --> 00:44:19,074 This is not going to be put to a vote by the people, 724 00:44:19,157 --> 00:44:24,329 except for the fact that the people elect the legislators. 725 00:44:24,412 --> 00:44:29,125 You don't have to deal with the low information voters. 726 00:44:29,209 --> 00:44:31,836 It got so much further than you would expect. 727 00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:36,257 We're in 19 states, so passed halfway. We have 15 states to go. 728 00:44:36,341 --> 00:44:41,471 I'm telling you, it has the possibility of becoming the law. 729 00:44:41,554 --> 00:44:44,474 They are actually doing model conventions now. 730 00:44:44,557 --> 00:44:45,433 They're LARPing it. 731 00:44:45,517 --> 00:44:48,520 It appears that they will be satisfied by nothing less 732 00:44:48,603 --> 00:44:51,940 than the complete destruction of our American liberties. 733 00:44:52,023 --> 00:44:56,945 Must we not then do something to secure those very liberties? 734 00:44:57,028 --> 00:45:00,240 They role play the Convention of States, so that they'll be ready. 735 00:45:00,323 --> 00:45:02,033 Alabama votes yes. 736 00:45:03,660 --> 00:45:06,246 [Jeff] What God has commanded you to do is to take the kingdom, 737 00:45:08,706 --> 00:45:11,626 You take it by force. And now... 738 00:45:11,709 --> 00:45:14,421 [newscaster] The push to put the Lord's Scripture into Florida Public schools. 739 00:45:14,504 --> 00:45:17,132 The words "In God We Trust" will be required reading 740 00:45:17,215 --> 00:45:18,591 in Louisiana schools this year... 741 00:45:18,675 --> 00:45:22,137 Republicans today block legislation designed to protect access 742 00:45:22,220 --> 00:45:24,431 to in vitro fertilization... 743 00:45:24,514 --> 00:45:28,935 The new state guidelines sent out today requiring teaching from the Bible... 744 00:45:29,018 --> 00:45:31,896 Texas saw a 56% rise in maternal mortality. 745 00:45:31,980 --> 00:45:34,649 I think divorce should basically be outlawed. [laughs] 746 00:45:34,732 --> 00:45:36,193 The way your Christian nationalists want, 747 00:45:36,276 --> 00:45:37,903 will women have the right to vote tomorrow? 748 00:45:37,986 --> 00:45:40,280 -No. -We own the country, not them. 749 00:45:40,363 --> 00:45:45,285 [Jeff] They are aiming for a complete structural transformation. 750 00:45:45,368 --> 00:45:48,580 This is the project to rewire America. 751 00:45:50,957 --> 00:45:53,626 [sighs] 752 00:45:53,710 --> 00:45:58,465 It's fine. I'm safe. Complete this stress cycle. 753 00:46:01,092 --> 00:46:04,804 Evangelical culture is very much a binary. 754 00:46:04,888 --> 00:46:10,310 There is no nuance. You have to pick one side or the other. 755 00:46:10,393 --> 00:46:13,021 It's the black and white thinking. 756 00:46:13,104 --> 00:46:16,816 My books have been a part of putting these heavy burdens 757 00:46:16,900 --> 00:46:19,903 and rules on people that weren't in the Bible. 758 00:46:19,986 --> 00:46:22,614 And I'm very sorry for that. 759 00:46:24,157 --> 00:46:27,243 And I think this is something that a lot of people, 760 00:46:27,327 --> 00:46:29,287 who grew up in this movement and are now adults, 761 00:46:29,370 --> 00:46:31,247 have to reflect on to one degree or another. 762 00:46:31,331 --> 00:46:33,583 You know, what was I involved in? 763 00:46:34,209 --> 00:46:36,419 What did I do, and who did I hurt? 764 00:46:38,379 --> 00:46:39,464 [Cindy] My own... 765 00:46:41,508 --> 00:46:44,761 ignorant and small minded beliefs 766 00:46:44,844 --> 00:46:47,097 allowed me to dismiss the harm that happened to these kids. 767 00:46:47,180 --> 00:46:50,350 And I was wrong. That was wrong. 768 00:46:51,184 --> 00:46:55,522 [sighs] And I know how many victims of abuse, 769 00:46:55,605 --> 00:46:59,067 spiritual, physical, sexual, are not believed 770 00:47:00,068 --> 00:47:03,905 and how the systems that we have in place cause... 771 00:47:06,199 --> 00:47:08,368 harm, at a huge scale. 772 00:47:08,451 --> 00:47:11,204 I'm sorry that I caused that harm, and I was a part of a system 773 00:47:11,287 --> 00:47:14,999 that continued to perpetuate harm against people who are abused. 774 00:47:17,502 --> 00:47:20,880 [groans and sighs] 775 00:47:20,964 --> 00:47:22,423 There was a lot rooted in me 776 00:47:22,507 --> 00:47:25,301 that I had to dig out from this kind of experience. 777 00:47:25,385 --> 00:47:29,222 There was a lot of prejudice I didn't know that I had 778 00:47:29,305 --> 00:47:32,475 towards just people living their lives. 779 00:47:33,184 --> 00:47:36,271 Because even if you say that you love everybody equally, 780 00:47:36,354 --> 00:47:38,898 if they don't line up with what you believe 781 00:47:38,982 --> 00:47:40,984 or what you say is true, 782 00:47:41,776 --> 00:47:43,487 there will always be something wrong with them. 783 00:47:43,570 --> 00:47:47,282 And in some part of your mind, you're probably not even aware of it. 784 00:47:47,365 --> 00:47:49,701 But you're being judgmental of them, 785 00:47:49,784 --> 00:47:55,123 and you are telling them in a million nonverbal ways 786 00:47:55,206 --> 00:47:58,126 that you're doing it wrong, and you're not good enough. 787 00:48:00,628 --> 00:48:04,382 We were complicit, and we were also victims. 788 00:48:05,508 --> 00:48:10,930 But there's tremendous grace for anyone who went through it. 789 00:48:11,014 --> 00:48:14,100 Anyone who had a good experience, and some people did have 790 00:48:14,183 --> 00:48:17,979 a good experience, like genuinely had a positive experience. 791 00:48:20,189 --> 00:48:22,191 But this isn't for them. 792 00:48:25,194 --> 00:48:26,779 The ring represents... 793 00:48:28,197 --> 00:48:32,368 hard things, things that I went through and things that I accomplished. 794 00:48:32,452 --> 00:48:37,373 Trauma and loss and grief and pain. 795 00:48:37,457 --> 00:48:40,001 I have nothing left of that life. 796 00:48:40,084 --> 00:48:43,671 I have nothing left to hold of that experience. 797 00:48:43,755 --> 00:48:47,216 I burned it all, and I'm glad that it's gone. 798 00:48:49,010 --> 00:48:52,722 So for almost two and a half decades, I have been really taking the time 799 00:48:52,805 --> 00:48:55,933 to be honest about who I was, what I really, really wanted. 800 00:48:56,017 --> 00:49:00,563 I want to be the person that that 18 year old would be proud of, 801 00:49:00,647 --> 00:49:03,524 and look at me and go, "Thank you for healing me." 802 00:49:05,818 --> 00:49:07,904 Thank you for doing the work. 803 00:49:07,987 --> 00:49:09,364 [cries] 804 00:49:11,741 --> 00:49:13,159 We all get together all the time. 805 00:49:13,242 --> 00:49:16,204 Our mom and our dad, our dad's husband. [laughs] 806 00:49:16,287 --> 00:49:18,582 -We go on vacations together. -Yeah it's great. It's great. 807 00:49:18,665 --> 00:49:21,125 And so his feeling of, 808 00:49:21,209 --> 00:49:23,378 -"I'm going to lose my family..." -Yeah. 809 00:49:23,461 --> 00:49:26,381 Now, we have this huge family and all these kids and grandkids, 810 00:49:26,464 --> 00:49:30,760 and we all rejected that narrative of, "This is what it's supposed to look like." 811 00:49:30,843 --> 00:49:33,805 Coming to terms with the fact that this Jesus that's been sold to me 812 00:49:33,888 --> 00:49:36,140 for the longest time is not my Jesus. 813 00:49:38,768 --> 00:49:41,562 It's a journey for sure. 814 00:49:41,646 --> 00:49:43,648 I still identify as a Christian. 815 00:49:44,607 --> 00:49:46,275 The Jesus kind. 816 00:49:46,859 --> 00:49:52,156 I think that that little voice in the back of your mind that sometimes goes, 817 00:49:53,324 --> 00:49:55,034 "Wait a minute," 818 00:49:55,118 --> 00:49:59,080 and you start to like... that's you, that's your conscience. 819 00:49:59,163 --> 00:50:02,291 And it's okay to listen to that voice. 820 00:50:02,375 --> 00:50:05,378 That voice is not evil. It is not going to lead you astray. 821 00:50:06,337 --> 00:50:10,800 [director] What are you hoping might come of this for people 822 00:50:11,801 --> 00:50:13,720 hearing your story? 823 00:50:14,345 --> 00:50:16,848 You have to stand for the truth, 824 00:50:16,931 --> 00:50:19,768 and you have to stand for what's right or else we're going to lose everything. 825 00:50:19,851 --> 00:50:22,270 At the end of the day, we cannot let these people silence us. 826 00:50:22,854 --> 00:50:23,896 They are plotting. 827 00:50:23,980 --> 00:50:27,233 They are strategizing while everybody else is out there living their life, 828 00:50:27,316 --> 00:50:29,277 not trying to control everybody. 829 00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:32,029 Guess what? All the authoritarian people got together, 830 00:50:32,113 --> 00:50:33,990 and they're all coming after you. 831 00:50:35,324 --> 00:50:37,326 [credits music playing] 831 00:50:38,305 --> 00:51:38,864 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm