"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" Thought Leadership: A Corporate Conversation

1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:14,210 --> 00:00:17,310 <i>Just have a seat right there. Would you like a drink or...</i> 3 00:00:17,310 --> 00:00:18,680 - <i>No. - No?</i> 4 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,550 <i>How about a fresh glass of water?</i> 5 00:00:20,550 --> 00:00:23,750 I have to just go back and gather myself with my buddies 6 00:00:23,750 --> 00:00:26,690 - before we start this. Okay? - Okay. 7 00:00:26,690 --> 00:00:28,290 - Right. Good. - But we are on the clock. 8 00:00:28,290 --> 00:00:30,330 Oh, yeah. And for the record, you know, 9 00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:33,260 you might want to jot down how well you're being treated 10 00:00:33,260 --> 00:00:35,760 at this professional establishment. 11 00:00:36,330 --> 00:00:38,300 - Frank, get over here. - Is she from the newspaper? 12 00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:40,170 We are in big trouble. 13 00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:42,700 We gotta come up with a statement for this reporter. 14 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:45,110 - She's gonna butcher us. - Yeah, this is bad. 15 00:00:45,110 --> 00:00:47,410 Why don't we play dumb? Why do we have to come up with a statement? 16 00:00:47,410 --> 00:00:50,610 Because they found 500 gallons of baby oil dumped in the Schuylkill River. 17 00:00:50,610 --> 00:00:53,310 Wait. Dee might be right, 'cause they can't actually prove that that was us. 18 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,580 Well, the 200 Paddy's pub T-shirts floating around in it 19 00:00:55,580 --> 00:00:57,620 - aren't exactly helping our case, pal. - Yeah, not helping. 20 00:00:57,620 --> 00:00:59,620 This is a good thing. This could be our Paddy's-gate. 21 00:00:59,620 --> 00:01:01,790 - Okay, there you go. - No, but gates aren't a good thing. 22 00:01:01,790 --> 00:01:03,260 I mean, Pizzagate, Watergate. 23 00:01:03,260 --> 00:01:04,690 - Nipplegate. Nipplegate. - Nipplegate. 24 00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:06,290 Janet Jackson's career was never the same. 25 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:08,330 You're right, what happened... 26 00:01:08,330 --> 00:01:10,430 - Some things you gotta keep covered up. - Based off that. Yeah. 27 00:01:10,430 --> 00:01:12,530 - We've gotta come up with a statement. - Guys, guys, guys, guys! 28 00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:14,640 We can handle this. 29 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,270 I mean this is why we went to that corporate retreat in Idaho. 30 00:01:16,270 --> 00:01:18,510 - Hmm. - Right, right. 31 00:01:18,510 --> 00:01:20,280 We didn't go to the retreat so much as watched clips of it on YouTube, 32 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,540 but, you know, you're right, Mac. 33 00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:25,280 Normally a situation like this would have me clawing all your faces off. 34 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:28,120 But I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna utilize my words. 35 00:01:29,050 --> 00:01:31,390 I do see your hand is still in a bit of a claw. 36 00:01:31,390 --> 00:01:32,750 Yeah, I was ready to pounce. 37 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,490 I had it hidden behind my head. I was ready... 38 00:01:34,490 --> 00:01:36,660 - Yeah, I hid it behind my leg. - I had a feeling. 39 00:01:36,660 --> 00:01:39,530 - Should we un... - No, let's all unclaw our hands. 40 00:01:39,530 --> 00:01:41,600 - Right? Because that was the old way. - Yeah, yeah. 41 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,330 This is the new way, right? 42 00:01:43,330 --> 00:01:44,700 We've got the tools from the corporate retreat. 43 00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:46,700 - We've got the vocabulary. - Yeah. 44 00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:48,540 We've got these awesome fleece vests inspired by the retreat. 45 00:01:48,540 --> 00:01:50,610 - Oh, my God, I love the fleece. - God, I love these vests. 46 00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,640 You can let it all go under here. 47 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,710 I appreciate you springing for that, Frank. Thank you very much. 48 00:01:54,710 --> 00:01:57,080 So, listen, we can handle this unpleasantry 49 00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,710 with the grace and elegance of any major corporation 50 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:05,120 by utilizing a little thought leadership and simply talking this thing out. 51 00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:33,750 First and foremost, the business must be protected at all times. 52 00:02:33,750 --> 00:02:35,780 - Yeah. - Yes. 53 00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:38,120 The business is infinitely more important than any individual. 54 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:41,520 Yes, we are, of course, a family, but human emotion notwithstanding, 55 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:44,490 I would be remiss not to mention that we are a business first, 56 00:02:44,490 --> 00:02:47,660 and as a business, we must behave as such. 57 00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:52,170 So I would like to posit, respectfully, of course, that we put forth an offering. 58 00:02:52,170 --> 00:02:54,400 Yes, a lamb if you will. 59 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,340 No, I would say, uh, that lamb right now could be tender and delicious, 60 00:02:57,340 --> 00:03:00,310 but we have kind of bigger issues that we're dealing with 61 00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:02,280 that we need to discuss, 62 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,450 and maybe, you know, eating lamb is not the best thing. 63 00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:06,480 - Momentarily speaking. - Thank you for that, Charlie, 64 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,220 but of course I'm speaking of a sacrificial lamb. 65 00:03:09,220 --> 00:03:11,320 - Ah! - Maybe we need to 66 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,220 walk through the series of events 67 00:03:13,220 --> 00:03:15,490 of the incident to figure out who the fall guy should be, 68 00:03:15,490 --> 00:03:20,260 and I would like to respectfully point out that the phrase is fall "guy." 69 00:03:20,260 --> 00:03:23,260 Thank you for pointing out that gender inequity, Dee. 70 00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:25,670 And, henceforth, let's refer to that position 71 00:03:25,670 --> 00:03:27,700 - as "fall person." - Mmm. 72 00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:31,070 Or we could circle back to, uh, animal-related, uh, conversations. 73 00:03:31,070 --> 00:03:35,210 We could consider "fall fish," uh, or "scapefish" or even "fall bird," 74 00:03:35,210 --> 00:03:36,580 and then we're back to Dee. 75 00:03:36,580 --> 00:03:38,680 Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry guys, but, um, 76 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:43,380 but my hand is so tightly clenched into a claw. 77 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,050 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Same. 78 00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,220 - I'm feeling the claw again. - Same. 79 00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:49,360 All right, so why don't we do this? 80 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,390 Let's all take a deep breath before we continue this conversation. 81 00:03:51,390 --> 00:03:52,790 Unclaw our hands. 82 00:03:59,570 --> 00:04:01,170 I think Dee is right. 83 00:04:01,940 --> 00:04:04,540 I think we got to take this mess from the beginning to find out how we got here. 84 00:04:04,540 --> 00:04:06,470 - Uh-huh. - - Find out who's really to blame. 85 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:07,780 Now, as you recall, 86 00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:08,680 it all started several weeks ago... 87 00:04:09,340 --> 00:04:11,080 Whoa! 88 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:13,480 <i>When Frank found that jug out back.</i> 89 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,350 Yo, let me blow on that. 90 00:04:15,350 --> 00:04:18,190 No, you make sounds when you bang on it, not blow on it. 91 00:04:18,190 --> 00:04:20,290 - No, you blow on it. - No, no. Yeah, yeah. 92 00:04:20,290 --> 00:04:22,320 It sounds different when you put water... 93 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:24,360 - But it's gonna be much deeper, like... - No, no, no. He's right. 94 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,360 - You don't blow on it... - If you blow on it like that, it gets... 95 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,060 You turn it upside-down... 96 00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:30,530 You don't bang on it... 97 00:04:30,530 --> 00:04:33,270 <i>That led to a vigorous debate, which in turn led to vigorous clawing</i> 98 00:04:33,270 --> 00:04:36,570 <i>until we decided to stop fighting and, you know, simply get our own jugs.</i> 99 00:04:40,210 --> 00:04:42,380 <i>Annoyingly, however, the jugs were filled with fluid.</i> 100 00:04:42,380 --> 00:04:44,380 What are we supposed to do with all this fluid? 101 00:04:44,850 --> 00:04:49,720 Uh... Yeah, can't really play them as an instrument until we... 102 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:51,250 - Oh. - Yeah, that's a problem. 103 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:53,550 We could... w-wash the bar with it. 104 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,720 Uh, you don't wanna wash the bar with a... with a water-based liquid. 105 00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,630 - Make a fire and... - Plants love that. 106 00:04:58,630 --> 00:05:00,500 - Make a fire and put water... - Make a fire and put it out. 107 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:02,330 What are you talking about? We're not gonna make a fire. 108 00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:04,300 - Well, if we start a fire... - Why would we start a fire? 109 00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:07,070 So we... so we have a reason to use all this liquid. 110 00:05:07,070 --> 00:05:10,610 <i>After an hour-long argument about the best way to dispose of the fluid,</i> 111 00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:13,170 <i>we caved and decided the best way to make the jugs empty</i> 112 00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:15,280 <i>was to simply drink the water.</i> 113 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:19,050 Now if I'm braising something, is that a way to cook something, 114 00:05:19,050 --> 00:05:20,280 or is that shellacking it? 115 00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:22,080 Like, am I putting sauce on it? 116 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:23,590 <i>The inadvertent effect of the watercooler</i> 117 00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:25,820 <i>was not just hydration, but conversation.</i> 118 00:05:25,820 --> 00:05:28,090 Is it about the sauce or the cooking technique or both? 119 00:05:28,090 --> 00:05:30,430 - It's about the crisping. - About both. 120 00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:32,760 <i>The water tank became a think tank for business scaffolding,</i> 121 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:35,460 <i>as well as recent health initiatives and, you know, general interest.</i> 122 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:40,270 Well, now I've taken to using baby oil almost exclusively when I get out of the shower. 123 00:05:40,270 --> 00:05:42,640 You know, I-I don't know if you guys know this, 124 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,470 but you can actually put a tablespoon of baby oil in your coffee in the morning 125 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,540 and it resets the pH balance of your gut biome. 126 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,380 You drink it? 127 00:05:50,380 --> 00:05:52,350 You know, if you're gonna dump stuff, the best place is the ocean. 128 00:05:52,350 --> 00:05:56,050 I mean, you know, in a pinch, you go to a lake or a river, 129 00:05:56,050 --> 00:05:59,590 but you wanna get rid of something, ocean is the only way to go. 130 00:05:59,590 --> 00:06:01,820 Dennis, how do they get the oil out of the baby? 131 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:05,160 Do they have to mash the babies up or grind them? 132 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:08,300 Is it babies that are sick and dying already, or what is the oil... 133 00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:10,770 Don't be an idiot, Charlie. The babies are alive. 134 00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:13,400 They just wring them out like an old rag. 135 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,240 The Cybertruck is by far the coolest piece of machinery 136 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:18,070 that the space nerd has ever made. Right? 137 00:06:18,070 --> 00:06:19,610 - Absolutely. - I love that truck. 138 00:06:19,610 --> 00:06:21,280 I'm furious that all cars don't look like that. 139 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,140 Dude, totally. You know what it is? 140 00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:24,810 It delivers on the promise of the future from our youth. 141 00:06:24,810 --> 00:06:27,080 - Yes. - Right? 142 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:28,580 We thought all cars were going to look like that back in the day. 143 00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:30,750 Hard lines, sharp corners, DeLorean-like materials. 144 00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:33,450 Yeah, you know, it's the transportation fitting of a Terminator. 145 00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,490 - Totally a Terminator. - Yeah, absolutely. 146 00:06:35,490 --> 00:06:37,090 Yeah, it's like a rhombus on wheels. 147 00:06:37,090 --> 00:06:38,560 - Right, right. Absolutely. - That's right. 148 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:41,060 <i>We were firing on all cylinders,</i> 149 00:06:41,060 --> 00:06:44,170 <i>but things took a most exciting turn when one particular topic was raised.</i> 150 00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:46,330 Gentlemen, what are your thoughts on slap fighting? 151 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,640 Slap fighting? I'm not aware of this. 152 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,540 Oh. Well, let me tell you. 153 00:06:52,540 --> 00:06:55,440 Just like the Cybertruck is the future of transportation, 154 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:58,310 slap fighting is the future of dispute mitigation. 155 00:07:01,450 --> 00:07:03,550 <i>And, my God, was he right. We had to try our hand at it.</i> 156 00:07:03,550 --> 00:07:06,650 - The Egyptians, they like the cats. - Yeah. They like them. 157 00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:09,560 I know, but it's a... it's a cat-based society, you know what I mean? 158 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,660 Yeah, but I understand that. But... 159 00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:14,230 - The cats are a huge part of their thing. - They like the cats. 160 00:07:14,230 --> 00:07:16,160 <i>Everybody loved it. We swapped out the clawing for slapping.</i> 161 00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:18,270 <i>I mean, we were using it to-to-to settle arguments.</i> 162 00:07:18,270 --> 00:07:20,570 <i>We were using it to end the day, to start the day,</i> 163 00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:22,370 <i>to say goodbye, to say hello...</i> 164 00:07:22,370 --> 00:07:24,340 <i>to celebrate, to mourn, everything, you know.</i> 165 00:07:24,340 --> 00:07:27,680 <i>But then Mac had a business idea.</i> 166 00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:34,220 Gentlemen, let's discuss professional slap fighting. 167 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:39,490 <i>We were all slapped across the proverbial cheeks with this venture.</i> 168 00:07:39,890 --> 00:07:41,420 Oh, shit. 169 00:07:42,790 --> 00:07:43,790 Take your shirts off, though. 170 00:07:44,460 --> 00:07:46,690 Whoa! 171 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:49,360 <i>It was his hand-face-based business venture</i> 172 00:07:49,370 --> 00:07:52,070 <i>that led to the off-lining of certain corporate assets</i> 173 00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:54,500 <i>into various aquatic bodies.</i> 174 00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:59,540 So, Mac is clearly the prime candidate to fall on the metaphorical sword here. Yes? 175 00:07:59,540 --> 00:08:01,740 - Yeah. Sounds good. - Sure. Well, yeah. That adds up, right? 176 00:08:01,740 --> 00:08:04,280 Mm-hmm. That does seem to be the proper mathing. Yes. 177 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,180 Yeah, I do... I do hear you guys on this. 178 00:08:06,180 --> 00:08:08,480 As long as we're outside of the earshot of this reporter, 179 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:11,690 I'd like to add, you can stick this line of logic up your various assholes. 180 00:08:11,690 --> 00:08:14,060 Hmm. 181 00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:15,690 - All right, that's harsher language... - - Interesting point. 182 00:08:15,690 --> 00:08:17,430 Than I thought we were allowed to use here, but... 183 00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:19,690 Also Dennis is leaving out a core friction point. 184 00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:22,230 <i>Things were going smoothly</i> 185 00:08:22,230 --> 00:08:25,070 <i>until Dennis pointed out that the whole thing sorely lacked eroticism.</i> 186 00:08:25,070 --> 00:08:26,570 Slaps and profits have gone up. 187 00:08:26,570 --> 00:08:28,170 - That's great. - Uh-huh. 188 00:08:28,170 --> 00:08:30,040 But chick saturation has gone down. 189 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:31,570 - That's not good. - Uh-uh. 190 00:08:31,570 --> 00:08:33,740 The whole thing is sorely lacking eroticism. 191 00:08:33,740 --> 00:08:36,180 - The data is alarming. - Yeah. 192 00:08:36,180 --> 00:08:38,380 - Yeah! Yeah, yeah. - Well, let's fix that. 193 00:08:38,380 --> 00:08:40,320 - Go on. - Yeah, yeah. 194 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,780 <i>He pitched something with the eroticism of mud wrestling</i> 195 00:08:41,780 --> 00:08:43,420 <i>and the aggression of a Cybertruck.</i> 196 00:08:43,420 --> 00:08:45,420 The world just has not delivered 197 00:08:45,420 --> 00:08:48,420 on the future that we were promised when we were growing up. 198 00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:52,290 We were promised mud wrestling. We were promised wet T-shirt contests. 199 00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:54,400 We were promised women going wild. 200 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,200 At a certain point, we stopped women from going wild. 201 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,630 Why did we do that? 202 00:08:58,630 --> 00:09:00,470 - They wanna go wild. - They should go wild. 203 00:09:00,470 --> 00:09:03,810 They want to go wild. Let's let them go wild. 204 00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:07,440 They're too dry, and so they don't feel wild. 205 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:10,450 Yeah, exactly. Guys, let's get back to our core values. 206 00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:15,120 Th-There is an underserved market for one-on-one erotic sport competition 207 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,750 between scantily-clad, oiled-up women. 208 00:09:17,750 --> 00:09:20,390 <i>He proposed pivoting away from dudes</i> 209 00:09:20,390 --> 00:09:24,090 <i>and investing all of our resources more heavily into women and baby oil.</i> 210 00:09:25,290 --> 00:09:27,360 Whoa! 211 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:33,470 This is why Dennis's head must roll. I compliment him on the innovation, 212 00:09:33,470 --> 00:09:36,670 but the idea was a little chunky, if I'm being honest. 213 00:09:36,670 --> 00:09:38,370 My personal distaste for women aside, 214 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,280 I think you crapped the bed on the execution. 215 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,480 We were over-leveraged in the baby oil department 216 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:45,380 and subsequential environmental what-have-yous 217 00:09:45,380 --> 00:09:48,720 from the off-lining have left us in this particular situation. 218 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:52,620 Which is why I nominate Dennis. Right time, right skull. 219 00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:55,060 - I like it. I like it. - I gotta say I'm impressed. 220 00:09:55,060 --> 00:09:56,690 You know, you're coming at me open-kimono here, 221 00:09:56,690 --> 00:09:59,160 and I appreciate that, so kudos, you know. 222 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:02,430 But I do think we need to helicopter up, stretch the vantage point a little bit. 223 00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:04,500 I think we need to chew on the key protein here, 224 00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:07,200 - which I believe to be Dee. - Mmm. 225 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,410 <i>With the women slappers in the bar, we were thriving,</i> 226 00:10:11,140 --> 00:10:15,280 <i>but we weren't quite reaching the erotic escape velocity that I was hoping for.</i> 227 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:16,810 I mean... really, all it is 228 00:10:16,810 --> 00:10:19,110 is there's one lingering problem with the women. 229 00:10:19,110 --> 00:10:21,320 - What? They're ugly. - They're ugly. 230 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,180 - I didn't wanna say it, but they are ugly. - Yeah. 231 00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:25,520 They're a bit gruff, aren't they? 232 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:28,520 The big issue for me is you can't put baby oil on any of these women, you know. 233 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,190 They'll bite you. 234 00:10:30,190 --> 00:10:32,590 I had one almost bend my arm completely in half. 235 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:36,100 - I tried to put baby oil on her and she... - I got pinned by her too, man. 236 00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:39,270 Yeah, yeah. So you know, like, chick saturation is up. That's good. 237 00:10:39,270 --> 00:10:42,170 - But the attractive/oil saturation... - - It's way down, yeah. 238 00:10:42,170 --> 00:10:44,440 It's way down. Way down. Why is that? 239 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:47,240 So, we need to find a way to lure in hotter women. 240 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,240 Yeah, that's all it is. You know what I mean? 241 00:10:49,250 --> 00:10:51,180 Anybody got any ideas? 242 00:10:51,180 --> 00:10:53,410 Back in the day when we were taking down all the aluminum siding, 243 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:56,280 what are we gonna do with all that asbestos that was left? 244 00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:58,220 - We dumped it in the Schuylkill. - Oh, you did? 245 00:10:58,220 --> 00:11:00,320 - Yeah. - Okay. 246 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:03,320 But in order to get 'em to do it, we lured 'em in with a Cadillac. 247 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,730 Oh! 248 00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:06,530 That's what you gotta do with the women. 249 00:11:06,530 --> 00:11:08,600 - You think we get these gals a Cadillac... - Yeah! 250 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,230 And we say, you know, "You win a slap fight, you get a Cadillac"? 251 00:11:10,230 --> 00:11:12,030 - Everybody needs money. - Wait. 252 00:11:12,530 --> 00:11:14,200 I know exactly what we should do. 253 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,670 Oh! I was thinking the same thing. 254 00:11:17,540 --> 00:11:19,670 I doubt it. 255 00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:26,050 Oh! 256 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,750 Look at this thing. Oh, man. Frank, baby, this is quite the prize. 257 00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:31,420 - Yeah. - Nicely done, Frank. 258 00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:33,390 - Yeah. - Wow. 259 00:11:33,390 --> 00:11:34,790 - Look at the hard angles on this. - Yeah. 260 00:11:34,790 --> 00:11:37,160 It's beautiful, man. 261 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,090 <i>The Cybertruck lured in a much sexier talent pool.</i> 262 00:11:39,090 --> 00:11:41,130 <i>We were really excited about the quality of slapper,</i> 263 00:11:41,130 --> 00:11:44,330 <i>but there was one that stood out above all the others.</i> 264 00:11:44,330 --> 00:11:46,070 <i>I mean, we couldn't take our eyes off her.</i> 265 00:11:46,070 --> 00:11:48,070 I can't wait to see the headlights on her. 266 00:11:48,070 --> 00:11:49,540 - Yeah! - Yeah. 267 00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:51,210 Yeah. Well, and you never will see 'em, Frank. 268 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,370 Because there's only one single headlight. 269 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,480 - It's a single headlight, yeah. - Oh. 270 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,080 <i>We couldn't give her away. We had to have her.</i> 271 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:01,250 <i>It wasn't long before we came up with a plan to retain her for ourselves.</i> 272 00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:03,520 <i>We would just have to win the slap contest, you know.</i> 273 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:06,150 <i>We needed a ringer, someone to tear through these waifish models</i> 274 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,790 <i>and ensure the truck would remain in our portfolio.</i> 275 00:12:08,790 --> 00:12:10,630 Figure something out though. 276 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:11,730 What are you guys doing? 277 00:12:13,130 --> 00:12:14,430 Huh? 278 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:30,210 Oh! 279 00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:41,090 <i>Dee was tearing through girls</i> 280 00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:43,090 <i>like a paper shredder through company records.</i> 281 00:12:43,090 --> 00:12:45,490 <i>And we knew she would, as I had explained it with a graph.</i> 282 00:12:45,490 --> 00:12:48,600 The lower the self-esteem, the harder the slap. And Dee could take a hit too. 283 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,530 Right? Years of getting slapped around by Frank, right? 284 00:12:50,530 --> 00:12:51,630 Yeah. 285 00:12:51,630 --> 00:12:53,600 Those were the days. 286 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,300 - Oh, yeah. Better times. - If say so, buddy. If you say so. 287 00:12:55,770 --> 00:12:58,470 <i>She had it all, and she delivered slap after slap.</i> 288 00:12:58,470 --> 00:13:01,480 <i>Sexy women, aggressive violence, futuristic trucks.</i> 289 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:05,350 <i>Everything was going according to plan. Till Dee got knocked out.</i> 290 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,150 Dee, I thank you for your service. I love you like a sister. 291 00:13:10,150 --> 00:13:11,620 Well, I am your sister. 292 00:13:11,620 --> 00:13:13,350 Well, you know, familial ties notwithstanding. 293 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,320 Uh, I think you kinda drained the kettle on that one. 294 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,160 And, hey, you know, no offense, 295 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:19,760 but I think you've proven yourself to be pretty good at taking a fall. 296 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,670 Guys, I know things are getting hot, okay? 297 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:25,630 But I think we're styling the wrong mannequin here. 298 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,400 I would have won that competition 299 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,640 if it wasn't for our associate deviating from the business plan, 300 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:32,210 and that would be Charlie. 301 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:34,610 Oh. Uh... Wow. 302 00:13:34,610 --> 00:13:37,550 <i>He fell back on some old bad habits.</i> 303 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,380 Fool. 304 00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:43,120 What's up? 305 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,350 - What's going on? New car? I like it. - Oh, God. 306 00:13:45,350 --> 00:13:48,290 - Okay. What is this? Why are you here? - Pretty sweet. Is that a Geo? 307 00:13:48,290 --> 00:13:50,220 Well, I got a business opportunity for you. 308 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,660 Oh, a business opportunity? 309 00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:53,360 - Yeah. Check this out. - Oh, good. 310 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:54,800 - Yeah, you're gonna like this. - Great. I bet. 311 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,600 We're doing these oiled-up slap fights in the bar. 312 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,470 Oiled-up slap fights? 313 00:13:58,470 --> 00:13:59,630 Yeah, we're oiling girls and they're slapping each other. 314 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:01,470 - You're oiling girls up? - Yeah. 315 00:14:01,470 --> 00:14:03,340 So I could oil you or you could oil yourself, but... 316 00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:05,410 Did you come here to ask me if I want to get oiled by you? 317 00:14:05,410 --> 00:14:07,610 - Are you stalking me again? - Yeah. 318 00:14:07,610 --> 00:14:11,680 Stalking? Whoa. Since when did I ever stalk you? No, that's not my thing. 319 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,150 - Flirting, maybe. But... - Okay. 320 00:14:13,150 --> 00:14:15,380 Hey, look, you don't have to do it, 321 00:14:15,380 --> 00:14:17,420 but I will say that the winner of the thing is gonna get a free truck, 322 00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:20,320 but I suppose you like this car better, you know. 323 00:14:21,590 --> 00:14:22,660 You're giving away a truck? 324 00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:25,130 A Cybertruck. 325 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,730 Mmm. 326 00:14:28,730 --> 00:14:30,530 <i>Little did he know that she wasn't just driving that crappy car,</i> 327 00:14:30,530 --> 00:14:32,100 <i>she was living in it.</i> 328 00:14:40,510 --> 00:14:42,240 <i>The allure of the Cybertruck</i> 329 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,680 <i>and a lifetime of petty misery suffered by this woman</i> 330 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,380 <i>rendered her unstoppable.</i> 331 00:14:46,380 --> 00:14:49,580 Yeah. Okay. Who's next? 332 00:14:51,420 --> 00:14:54,160 Uh... Hey. I got an idea, all right? 333 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:57,260 W-What if you and I get a little side pot going, right? 334 00:14:57,260 --> 00:15:00,160 You and me, we... we tone down on the slaps, we call it a tie, 335 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,600 and that way we can share the Cyber... 336 00:15:12,770 --> 00:15:14,210 Yeah! 337 00:15:14,210 --> 00:15:15,480 I was sucker-punched. 338 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:16,780 - No. - No. 339 00:15:16,780 --> 00:15:18,280 - Mm-mmm. - In your dreams. 340 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:19,810 No. You were looking right at her. 341 00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:21,480 She slapped the shit out of me, but I wasn't ready. 342 00:15:21,850 --> 00:15:23,790 It was uncalled for and it wasn't fair. 343 00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:25,620 <i>To make matters worse, Frank reversed course</i> 344 00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:27,360 <i>and refused to make her whole.</i> 345 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,090 What do you mean I don't get the truck? 346 00:15:29,090 --> 00:15:31,490 - It's all in the terms and conditions. - What? 347 00:15:31,490 --> 00:15:34,460 Look. "Cybertruck not included." Can you read? 348 00:15:34,460 --> 00:15:36,800 - Oh, my God! - Can you read? 349 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,730 - What? - Oh, my God. 350 00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,600 - Screw you. Screw you guys so hard! - In plain writing. 351 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,070 - Oh, I'm taking this public. For this. - Don't you dare. 352 00:15:43,070 --> 00:15:45,110 <i>Needless to say, she was pissed, and she promised to go public.</i> 353 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,080 <i>And let's face it, we didn't have permits for any of this.</i> 354 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,540 <i>Which led to the panic and dumping of assets</i> 355 00:15:49,550 --> 00:15:52,480 <i>to erase the trail of corporate culture and create plausible deniability.</i> 356 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:54,550 I'm gonna call the newspaper. 357 00:15:54,550 --> 00:15:56,780 As the crow flies here, I think we could all see from a bird's-eye view 358 00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,650 that had Charlie not invited the Waitress, none of this would've happened. 359 00:15:58,650 --> 00:16:00,490 So Charlie should take the fall. 360 00:16:00,490 --> 00:16:02,360 And I would say all due respect, but I don't respect you. 361 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:05,090 It's true, Charlie. We may have reached our inflection point. 362 00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:07,060 Okay, great. Yeah, that's all good. Yeah. 363 00:16:07,060 --> 00:16:09,460 And I-I'm hearing you guys, you know, ear-wise. 364 00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:13,530 And, um, you know, mouth-wise, uh, you're giving me various wordables, 365 00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:15,740 uh, that are adding up to thoughts. 366 00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:18,370 This is good. I see how you're trying to clip my wings so that I can fly. 367 00:16:18,370 --> 00:16:20,610 That's not how birds work. That makes them "un-fly." 368 00:16:20,610 --> 00:16:23,080 Okay. I did not know that you were the bird expert. 369 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:26,350 But I would like to pivot here, you know, before I fall on the sword, 370 00:16:26,350 --> 00:16:31,250 and say that I was also using my eyeballs this entire time for various observables. 371 00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:36,620 Because I realized... that Frank was, you know, 372 00:16:36,630 --> 00:16:40,230 growing in hardness as the eroticism in the bar was increasing. 373 00:16:40,230 --> 00:16:43,330 And, uh, he was becoming as hard as a Cybertruck himself, 374 00:16:43,330 --> 00:16:44,730 you know, which you could see. 375 00:16:44,730 --> 00:16:46,400 Cheese, of course, is also on this graph. 376 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,640 - Just keep going. - Uh, moving past. 377 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:52,470 Well, the main thing here is that I think we now have our open-sliced lamb. 378 00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,610 You know, open commando person. 379 00:16:54,610 --> 00:16:57,150 - What? - What are you saying? 380 00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:59,150 I'm saying it should be Frank, man. 381 00:16:59,150 --> 00:17:01,480 Because he was throwing an orgy in the basement the entire time. 382 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:03,620 - What? - Yes. 383 00:17:03,620 --> 00:17:06,350 I realized Frank was trying to capitalize on the erotic environment 384 00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:09,260 and pivot into a more orgasmic business model, right? 385 00:17:09,260 --> 00:17:13,760 <i>And I noticed various unsavory investors were paying Frank</i> 386 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:16,230 <i>to try to get in on the ground floor.</i> 387 00:17:16,230 --> 00:17:18,200 Dear God. Damn, you are not good at this. 388 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:19,730 I'm tryna say dudes were paying Frank to go into the basement. 389 00:17:19,740 --> 00:17:22,140 - Mm-hmm. - Right. 390 00:17:22,140 --> 00:17:24,470 And he was failing in his efforts to poach talent from the slapping pool. 391 00:17:24,470 --> 00:17:28,510 Ooh. I like those straps, and I can't wait to see it off. Let's go downstairs. 392 00:17:28,510 --> 00:17:31,250 And I knew this 'cause chicks were slapping him constantly. 393 00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:35,550 But then I saw him trying to headhunt for new key players in this thing. 394 00:17:35,550 --> 00:17:39,290 Yo, baby. I need a prostitute. 395 00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:41,690 <i>But he was running up against some logistical hurdles.</i> 396 00:17:41,690 --> 00:17:43,760 Well, when's she coming back from The Bahamas? 397 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:46,490 <i>So, the slap fighting and the basement full of men.</i> 398 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:49,060 <i>The whole thing was just a big red flag. He had a target on his back and whatnot.</i> 399 00:17:49,060 --> 00:17:53,270 So, when The Waitress got all pissed off she wasn't gonna get a Cybertruck, 400 00:17:53,270 --> 00:17:56,400 and the police were potentially going to get involved, Frank panicked. 401 00:17:56,410 --> 00:17:58,410 He was worried about the orgy, 402 00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:01,340 which led to the dumping into the Schuylkills and whatnot. 403 00:18:01,340 --> 00:18:06,280 And so that is why he is the person that... that should take this fall. 404 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:09,080 Um, also, there's still a bunch of dudes in the basement. 405 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:10,490 - Uh... What? Right now? - What? 406 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,090 Yeah, there's, like, guys down there now. 407 00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:14,160 - Dude. - Right? How many are down there? 408 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,220 - Eleven. Eleven. Eleven's the answer. - Eleven dudes in the basement. 409 00:18:16,230 --> 00:18:17,690 - The reporter could see all this. - Yeah, one could come up. 410 00:18:17,690 --> 00:18:19,760 - It could be an issue for us. - Oh, shit. 411 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,330 We got to figure out what we're gonna do and get her out of here. 412 00:18:22,330 --> 00:18:24,470 I agree with Charlie. I think Frank should take the fall for the whole thing. 413 00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:26,730 - Well, that's insane. - You drove a Cybertruck into the river. 414 00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:29,140 I didn't know. I thought it was an aquatic vehicle. 415 00:18:29,140 --> 00:18:31,270 - It's an environmental nightmare. - It should be, but it's not. 416 00:18:31,270 --> 00:18:33,210 If anything, it looks like it goes into space. 417 00:18:33,210 --> 00:18:34,340 - Yeah, it should be but it's not. - The liberal press 418 00:18:34,340 --> 00:18:35,610 is going to crucify us. 419 00:18:35,610 --> 00:18:36,710 I gotta come clean. 420 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,480 I think the truck is ugly. 421 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,120 Damn it. I knew you were gonna say that. I knew she was gonna say that. 422 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:45,490 Stupid. You're stupid. I call bullshit on that. 423 00:18:45,490 --> 00:18:47,360 All right. Enough, enough. 424 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:50,220 I've had enough with the charts and the maps and the graphs. 425 00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:53,630 It's clear you're all good foot soldiers, loyal servants and whatnot. 426 00:18:53,630 --> 00:18:58,730 But it's time we connect the Legos here and boil down to our core values. 427 00:18:58,730 --> 00:19:02,600 Yes, hammer down on our brand identity and come out open commando. 428 00:19:02,610 --> 00:19:04,670 - I said the commando thing. - Didn't make sense the first time. 429 00:19:04,670 --> 00:19:06,770 I thought it was... It sounded cool and I want to circle back. 430 00:19:06,780 --> 00:19:09,140 - If you're doing it 'cause it's cool... - Okay. I got a plan, 431 00:19:09,140 --> 00:19:10,250 and this is it. 432 00:19:14,180 --> 00:19:15,350 Okay. Here we go. 433 00:19:17,050 --> 00:19:19,350 Um, ma'am, we are finally ready to make our statement. 434 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:20,720 Yeah, yeah. 435 00:19:23,390 --> 00:19:25,590 No comment. 436 00:19:25,590 --> 00:19:30,200 That said, we are no longer gonna drink, serve, or have anything to do 437 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,100 - that represents water. - Yeah. 438 00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:34,340 - Water is not the cornerstone of our company. - Mm-mmm. 439 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,440 And we will hereby, uh, be getting rid of the watercooler. 440 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,240 - Gone. - Gone. 441 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,280 Excuse me, I-I'm not sure what you're talking about. 442 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:43,440 Sorry. We got on talking like this when we started over-hydrating. 443 00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:46,110 Yeah, we watchedé\ a couple YouTube clips about a corporate retreat. 444 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:47,720 Got some water, got hydrated. 445 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,750 So, we're not gonna talk about that subject anymore. 446 00:19:49,750 --> 00:19:51,750 - No more water. - No comment is the main thing, right? 447 00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:54,060 - Yeah. What I said in the beginning. - Yeah. And no water. 448 00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:55,720 I'm sorry, do you think I'm a reporter? 449 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:57,790 Yeah. 450 00:19:57,790 --> 00:20:00,300 No. I'm here for the orgy. 451 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:02,630 Oh. Oh. 452 00:20:02,630 --> 00:20:05,130 Good. Great. Great. 453 00:20:05,130 --> 00:20:08,140 Oh. Hey, guys, the whore is here. 454 00:20:10,540 --> 00:20:13,580 - I was waiting for you. - I told you guys, man. 455 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,440 - That's one woman. - Yeah. 456 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,780 Yeah. T-That's not an orgy. That's a... 457 00:20:17,780 --> 00:20:19,310 - No. No. - That's a gangbang. 458 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:20,750 - No. No. - That's a gangbang, yeah. 459 00:20:20,750 --> 00:20:23,250 We really should find a way to exit Frank. 459 00:20:24,305 --> 00:21:24,541 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm