Human Traffic

Name: Human Traffic
Released: 1999

ID	13197750
Movie Name	Human Traffic
Release Name	Human.Traffic.1999.2160p.UHD.BluRay.H265-WOU
Year	1999
Kind	movie
Language	English
IMDB ID	188674
Format	srt

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1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Do you want subtitles for any video? -=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=- 2 00:00:29,375 --> 00:00:34,125 You lucky, lucky people. 3 00:00:35,708 --> 00:00:36,833 Yeah, you. 4 00:00:37,667 --> 00:00:39,292 Yes, you. 5 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,167 Fuckin' away. 6 00:00:44,667 --> 00:00:46,667 Aren't you? Fuckin' away. 7 00:00:47,792 --> 00:00:51,417 Like you're late for evolution or something. Mmm? 8 00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:54,208 Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Everyone's at it. I know. 9 00:00:54,292 --> 00:00:56,708 Everybody's at it except me. 10 00:00:57,458 --> 00:01:00,667 The prince of paranoia. Yeah. 11 00:01:00,750 --> 00:01:06,625 You see, at the moment, I am dealing with a monumental case of Mr Floppy. 12 00:01:07,750 --> 00:01:09,292 And it's killing me. 13 00:01:10,333 --> 00:01:14,208 Softly. Yeah. Funny, isn't it? 14 00:01:14,292 --> 00:01:17,000 Well, that's me, I'm afraid. Stressed to the max. 15 00:01:17,083 --> 00:01:18,500 A legend in my own ego. 16 00:01:18,583 --> 00:01:21,458 But if you think I'm fucked up, you should check out my friends. 17 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,958 I can't stop thinking about my girlfriend fucking other men. 18 00:01:26,833 --> 00:01:28,417 It's doing my nut in. 19 00:01:29,667 --> 00:01:32,000 Every bloke she looks at I think she fancies. 20 00:01:33,167 --> 00:01:36,833 Even the thought of her having sex with her past boyfriends is getting to me. 21 00:01:36,917 --> 00:01:39,708 Whether they turned her on more or whether their dick was bigger. 22 00:01:39,792 --> 00:01:41,917 It makes me feel inadequate. Do you know what I mean? 23 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,750 Koop is the best of best mates. 24 00:01:44,833 --> 00:01:46,833 He's an absolute craftsman, man. 25 00:01:46,917 --> 00:01:49,083 We're gonna know each other for the rest of our lives. 26 00:01:49,167 --> 00:01:51,250 We're both as fucked up as each other. 27 00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:54,542 You know, I love his sincerity. He's the coolest person I know. 28 00:01:57,292 --> 00:02:00,750 All right? I'm having a sub-life crisis. 29 00:02:00,833 --> 00:02:04,333 I feel like a character on EastEnders, the come-down version. 30 00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:08,625 What the fuck am I doing in this job? 31 00:02:09,625 --> 00:02:13,125 I wanna go to college, but I fucked up the interview. 32 00:02:13,208 --> 00:02:15,458 When they asked me why philosophy interested me, 33 00:02:15,542 --> 00:02:17,667 why didn't I say something like, 34 00:02:17,750 --> 00:02:20,625 "Philosophy is about the meaning of life", 35 00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:23,708 instead of, "I've been having serious trouble trying to work life out, 36 00:02:23,792 --> 00:02:26,542 and I'm now prepared to listen to other people's theories." 37 00:02:28,458 --> 00:02:30,708 Now, Nina is Koop's girlfriend. 38 00:02:30,792 --> 00:02:32,833 I've seen her around the clubs for years. 39 00:02:32,917 --> 00:02:35,500 A complete hedonist, but totally down to earth. 40 00:02:35,583 --> 00:02:37,083 No edge to her at all. 41 00:02:37,167 --> 00:02:39,250 I trust her with my best mate. 42 00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:41,542 Nina's the most together out of all of us. 43 00:02:41,625 --> 00:02:43,292 She's an absolute mistress. 44 00:02:45,083 --> 00:02:46,667 Why would I want a man? 45 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:50,917 They're all emotionally retarded, egotistical pricks who fuck with your head. 46 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:54,083 They try to control you and make you feel like the Whore of Babylon 47 00:02:54,167 --> 00:02:55,542 if you wear a miniskirt. 48 00:02:55,625 --> 00:02:58,750 I'm an independent girl who wears lipstick because she wants to, 49 00:02:58,833 --> 00:03:00,958 not because men find it more attractive. 50 00:03:01,042 --> 00:03:03,833 I'm fine being single. I am. 51 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,458 Peachy fucking creamy. 52 00:03:05,542 --> 00:03:08,500 This is Lulu. She's a full-on club minx. 53 00:03:08,583 --> 00:03:11,917 Major head banger. We've known each other for years. 54 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,917 Some people find her a bit intimidating. 55 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,792 It's purely social camouflage. 56 00:03:15,875 --> 00:03:17,500 Recently we became dropping partners, 57 00:03:17,583 --> 00:03:19,708 and that has helped me to get to know the real Lulu. 58 00:03:19,792 --> 00:03:21,458 She's a pussycat. 59 00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:27,000 See, me, I'm quicker on the draw than Jesse James, my son. 60 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,000 Eh? Eh? 61 00:03:31,292 --> 00:03:34,375 I'm sending smoke signals Tonto style. You know what I mean? 62 00:03:35,625 --> 00:03:37,750 I wouldn't say no to a girlfriend. 63 00:03:37,833 --> 00:03:42,042 How nice it would be to drink the white wine from the furry cup, you know? 64 00:03:42,125 --> 00:03:46,250 I just can't be arsed with the hassle part of the dating game. Do you know what I mean? 65 00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:49,583 Having a relationship just ain't top of the pops at the moment, you know? 66 00:03:49,667 --> 00:03:51,458 I'm having sex with music, mate. 67 00:03:51,542 --> 00:03:53,583 And believe me, I can go all night. 68 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:56,125 I met Moff in a warehouse party last summer. 69 00:03:56,208 --> 00:03:57,958 We've been mates ever since. 70 00:03:58,042 --> 00:04:01,500 He got moved down here when his dad got promoted to superintendent. 71 00:04:01,583 --> 00:04:03,792 Now, Moff is the biggest pill monster I know. 72 00:04:03,875 --> 00:04:05,750 I love him, but he's off his tits. 73 00:04:05,833 --> 00:04:08,333 I swear on my mother's life, 74 00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:12,000 I'm having the best time being off my pickle 75 00:04:12,958 --> 00:04:14,333 and feeling the music. 76 00:04:16,042 --> 00:04:19,500 You... You... You know what I mean, yeah? 77 00:04:19,583 --> 00:04:22,167 Cushty. I knew you wouldn't let me down. I knew it. 78 00:04:35,792 --> 00:04:39,958 ♪ Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 79 00:04:40,042 --> 00:04:44,333 ♪ Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 80 00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:47,750 ♪ Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, b-b-b... 81 00:04:47,833 --> 00:04:49,667 ♪ Build it up 82 00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:52,917 ♪ Tear it down 83 00:04:54,583 --> 00:04:56,417 ♪ Build it up 84 00:04:57,958 --> 00:04:59,917 ♪ Tear it down 85 00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:06,000 ♪ Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 86 00:05:06,083 --> 00:05:10,458 ♪ Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 87 00:05:10,542 --> 00:05:15,417 ♪ Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 88 00:05:42,333 --> 00:05:46,250 ♪ Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 89 00:05:46,333 --> 00:05:50,583 ♪ Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 90 00:05:50,667 --> 00:05:54,583 ♪ Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 91 00:05:54,667 --> 00:05:59,625 ♪ Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, b-b-b... 92 00:05:59,708 --> 00:06:01,083 ♪ Build it up 93 00:06:02,708 --> 00:06:04,333 ♪ Tear it down 94 00:06:06,208 --> 00:06:07,667 ♪ Build it up 95 00:06:09,125 --> 00:06:10,917 ♪ Tear it down 96 00:06:13,792 --> 00:06:17,083 ♪ Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 97 00:06:17,167 --> 00:06:20,250 ♪ Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce ♪ 98 00:06:29,167 --> 00:06:30,833 {\an8}God's having a laugh, man. 99 00:06:30,917 --> 00:06:33,750 {\an8}He keeps digging up these social fossils from my past, 100 00:06:33,833 --> 00:06:36,750 {\an8}disguising them as paying customers for me to deal with. 101 00:06:36,833 --> 00:06:38,958 Maybe it's to remind me that memory's overrated. 102 00:06:39,042 --> 00:06:42,875 - Don't! - Oh, my God. It's Karen Benson. 103 00:06:42,958 --> 00:06:45,250 I don't believe this. I failed the physical with her. 104 00:06:45,333 --> 00:06:47,208 Oh, please, just go away. 105 00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:50,000 Fuck. She's coming over. 106 00:06:50,083 --> 00:06:51,958 Oh, fuck. I'm starting to shake. 107 00:06:52,042 --> 00:06:55,167 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Be cool, Jip. Nothing happened, remember? 108 00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:56,958 Come on, act like an adult and be false. 109 00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,167 Oh, my God. 110 00:06:58,250 --> 00:06:59,792 Oh, my God. Here it comes. 111 00:06:59,875 --> 00:07:01,042 Here comes the pain. 112 00:07:01,125 --> 00:07:03,125 Hold tight. Oh, my God! 113 00:07:03,208 --> 00:07:04,792 - All right? - All right? 114 00:07:10,083 --> 00:07:11,458 Why didn't you want sex with me? 115 00:07:11,542 --> 00:07:15,042 I did. I... I did want sex with you. 116 00:07:15,125 --> 00:07:17,250 So, what was the problem? 117 00:07:17,333 --> 00:07:19,458 I was just terrified of losing my erection. 118 00:07:19,542 --> 00:07:22,750 - He couldn't get it up for the birds! - The birds! 119 00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:25,542 - He couldn't get it up for the birds! - The birds! 120 00:07:25,625 --> 00:07:28,917 He must be a fucking queer! 121 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:32,833 He couldn't get it up for the birds! The birds! 122 00:07:33,542 --> 00:07:35,208 I'm not gay or anything. I... 123 00:07:35,292 --> 00:07:37,250 I'm just having a bit of a head fuck. 124 00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:38,917 So why didn't you say so? 125 00:07:40,208 --> 00:07:41,750 I was a bit embarrassed. 126 00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:44,750 Thanks. Bye. 127 00:07:46,542 --> 00:07:47,542 See ya. 128 00:07:53,333 --> 00:07:55,708 - It was an accident. - Some fucking accident. 129 00:07:55,792 --> 00:07:57,417 So you're just gonna throw it all away? 130 00:07:57,500 --> 00:08:00,208 You threw it away when you had your little accident with Yvonne. 131 00:08:00,292 --> 00:08:02,958 - Fuck Yvonne. - No, fuck you! 132 00:08:03,667 --> 00:08:05,875 You can't just take the piss out of people 133 00:08:05,958 --> 00:08:08,458 and then come back and expect it to be Terry and fucking June. 134 00:08:08,542 --> 00:08:11,250 Come on. I'm sorry. 135 00:08:11,333 --> 00:08:13,875 Write a song, Tyler. I don't care. 136 00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:17,250 Good luck with your life, cos you're gonna fucking need it. 137 00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:19,542 This is the third guy who's fucked me over in a row. 138 00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:22,708 It's not you, Lu. You're just a fucking arsehole magnet. 139 00:08:22,792 --> 00:08:25,750 Now, Lulu didn't enrol for a degree in social masturbation, 140 00:08:25,833 --> 00:08:27,292 but she's getting one anyway. 141 00:08:27,375 --> 00:08:29,833 Matt and Luke are post-Goa-modernists. 142 00:08:29,917 --> 00:08:33,667 They live in the canteen, armed only with their Golden Virginia and Blue Rizlas, 143 00:08:33,750 --> 00:08:36,417 yacking endlessly about their psychedelic clichés 144 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:39,042 and how being Black is a state of mind, yeah? 145 00:08:39,125 --> 00:08:41,292 Oh, and they just got back from Amsterdam. 146 00:08:41,375 --> 00:08:43,750 Designer-poor and white-boy-dread posse. 147 00:08:44,417 --> 00:08:46,542 - Fucking space invaders. - Mmm. 148 00:08:47,542 --> 00:08:49,417 - How's it going? - Downhill. 149 00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:50,500 All right, cool. 150 00:08:51,292 --> 00:08:52,750 So, how was your trip? 151 00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:55,625 Ah, well, the theory of the 'Dam is, yeah, life's for living. 152 00:08:55,708 --> 00:08:59,667 So just sit down, skin up, be blot. We chilled out in the red-light district. 153 00:09:00,375 --> 00:09:03,042 Everyone's blazing away, smoking trees of weed. 154 00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:05,125 Word to the mummyfucker. 155 00:09:05,208 --> 00:09:07,708 Our last night there, we were sharing the skunk, 156 00:09:07,792 --> 00:09:09,625 chillin' with these two massive Rastas. 157 00:09:09,708 --> 00:09:12,750 Nobody said a word. We just sat there for three hours going up in smoke. 158 00:09:14,167 --> 00:09:17,667 Nodding our heads to the dub reggae that warmed the place. 159 00:09:17,750 --> 00:09:19,667 The base line was so deep... 160 00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:22,542 you could feel the vibrations in Jamaica. 161 00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:29,833 - Yo, what's up? - Hey. Nice, nice. 162 00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:31,792 - Any new hip-hop, man? - Yeah. 163 00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:36,000 Eh, I got some smoking West Coast flow just landed. Raw as botulism, mate. 164 00:09:36,083 --> 00:09:37,958 No, fuck that West Coast shit, man. 165 00:09:38,042 --> 00:09:40,833 I want some hardcore East Coast flavour beat. You know what I mean? 166 00:09:40,917 --> 00:09:42,167 Well, why didn't you say so? 167 00:09:42,250 --> 00:09:45,458 Fat beats. Armageddon on the streets. We're inundated with the shit, brah. 168 00:09:45,542 --> 00:09:48,083 Eh, if we had any more hardcore, we'd get arrested. 169 00:09:48,167 --> 00:09:49,583 Yeah, a'right. 170 00:09:50,417 --> 00:09:53,708 Now, Koop's on the pulse, but he's a serious vinyl pusher. 171 00:09:53,792 --> 00:09:55,833 Blagging friendship, getting the kids hooked, 172 00:09:55,917 --> 00:09:57,625 hustling with style. 173 00:09:57,708 --> 00:10:02,000 This was recorded by a posse of crackheads on death row, right? 174 00:10:02,083 --> 00:10:05,833 So all them little interludes of prison noises and that, they're for real. 175 00:10:05,917 --> 00:10:08,167 They call themselves the Itchy Trigger Finger Niggas. 176 00:10:08,250 --> 00:10:11,125 - The itchy what? - The Itchy Trigger Finger Niggas. 177 00:10:11,208 --> 00:10:13,667 ♪ Success with falling in New York is amazing 178 00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:16,125 ♪ Nine Glock cocked Fuck cops, my block 179 00:10:16,208 --> 00:10:18,917 ♪ Execute, rip 'n' tear, prepare electric chair 180 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,708 ♪ For the villainous, halfway crooked crimes are silliness 181 00:10:21,792 --> 00:10:24,625 ♪ The barrenous with the venomous, tantrums so scandalous 182 00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:26,917 ♪ Motherfuckers can't handle, knock 'em like Rambo 183 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,833 - ♪ Still caged, with strength to go head-up... - Yeah! 184 00:10:29,917 --> 00:10:32,583 ♪ In despair as I'm sittin' in this chair 'bout to die 185 00:10:32,667 --> 00:10:35,250 ♪ In jail a long time, no lie, can't cry 186 00:10:35,333 --> 00:10:37,875 ♪ A lot of things are runnin' through my mind, mostly crime 187 00:10:37,958 --> 00:10:41,000 ♪ My last request be one more chance to say my rhyme ♪ 188 00:10:41,083 --> 00:10:43,167 I'll take that shit, man. That shit is real. 189 00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:46,167 Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. Eh, can't be missed. Twenty quid. 190 00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:48,167 - Twenty quid? - Yeah, man. 191 00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:50,667 Eh, you know like when the price of artists' work 192 00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,125 goes up when they die, yeah? 193 00:10:52,208 --> 00:10:55,000 The price of hip-hop albums go up when the gangsters get locked down. 194 00:10:55,083 --> 00:10:57,417 When they get the chair, the price'll go into orbit, mate. 195 00:10:57,500 --> 00:11:00,833 - Is it? - Look, it's going to be banned. 196 00:11:00,917 --> 00:11:04,042 So I'd nab it now before some other hip-hop junkie does. You know what I mean? 197 00:11:04,125 --> 00:11:06,167 - Yeah, all right. - All right, nice. 198 00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:08,333 Nice one, B. Yeah, safe. 199 00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:09,417 All right. 200 00:11:14,292 --> 00:11:15,583 Any new jungle in, guy? 201 00:11:15,667 --> 00:11:17,167 I got the Tarzan and Jane of jungle 202 00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:19,708 just swung in on the vine this morning, mate. 203 00:11:20,958 --> 00:11:24,917 I'm telling you, this could turn Hare Krishna into a bad boy. 204 00:11:31,875 --> 00:11:36,458 ♪ Mmm! Jungle is massive in any place! Make a disgrace! 205 00:11:36,542 --> 00:11:38,875 ♪ Nigga! Easy, man! Easy! 206 00:11:38,958 --> 00:11:42,042 - ♪ Bounce to the beat. Oh! Oh! - ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah! 207 00:11:42,125 --> 00:11:44,542 ♪ Cardiff massive! Cardiff massive! 208 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,333 ♪ Run time, run time, yeah 209 00:11:53,167 --> 00:11:54,875 ♪ Ai! Ai! Ai! 210 00:11:54,958 --> 00:11:57,167 ♪ Bounce to the beat! Bounce, bounce to the beat! 211 00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,333 ♪ Brutal! In the air, yeah ♪ 212 00:12:02,708 --> 00:12:03,833 Fucking hell. 213 00:12:04,833 --> 00:12:06,250 I fucking hate this job, man. 214 00:12:07,333 --> 00:12:09,250 Fuck. 215 00:12:10,042 --> 00:12:12,542 We spend nine hours a day, five days a week, 216 00:12:12,625 --> 00:12:16,833 incarcerated in this wanky fucking store, 217 00:12:16,917 --> 00:12:19,250 having to act like C-3PO 218 00:12:19,333 --> 00:12:21,667 to any twat that wants to condescend to us. 219 00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:24,750 Do you know what I mean? We have to brown-nose the customers. 220 00:12:24,833 --> 00:12:27,667 Then we get abused by some mini fucking Hitler 221 00:12:27,750 --> 00:12:29,750 who just gives us stick all day. 222 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:34,000 What the hell do you think you're doing 223 00:12:34,083 --> 00:12:36,792 just standing around and talking? 224 00:12:36,875 --> 00:12:42,167 If you wanna work in this firm, then wake up and get real. 225 00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:45,333 Now, tidy up the T-shirts, stack the jeans, 226 00:12:45,417 --> 00:12:48,042 and put them in colour-coordinated piles. 227 00:12:48,125 --> 00:12:51,417 Take this as your final warning! 228 00:13:00,250 --> 00:13:02,708 I take the corporate cock shafting like the next person 229 00:13:02,792 --> 00:13:05,042 because I need to pay the rent. 230 00:13:05,125 --> 00:13:08,042 But if you ask me, the Antichrist has been with us for a long time, 231 00:13:08,125 --> 00:13:11,500 and he means business, big business. 232 00:13:41,417 --> 00:13:43,542 - All right, Nin? - Yep. 233 00:13:44,083 --> 00:13:47,167 Martin is a closet human. He desperately wants to get into Nina. 234 00:13:47,250 --> 00:13:48,625 He slides around the shop floor 235 00:13:48,708 --> 00:13:51,542 fuelled by the bad sperm that pours from every orifice. 236 00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:56,208 - You looking after my meat? - Oh, that was funny. 237 00:13:56,292 --> 00:13:59,667 - Well, I'm a funny guy. - Yeah, you should have your own series. 238 00:13:59,750 --> 00:14:03,583 - Come on, Nin, loosen up. I don't bite. - You sure? 239 00:14:06,375 --> 00:14:07,917 Only if you want me to. 240 00:14:12,125 --> 00:14:13,250 Fuck this! 241 00:14:29,958 --> 00:14:31,458 Like most weekenders I know, 242 00:14:31,542 --> 00:14:34,375 if you wanna play in the party, you have to raise the capital. 243 00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:36,875 But if you're religious about not working, you deal. 244 00:14:36,958 --> 00:14:38,375 You deal to your friends. 245 00:14:38,458 --> 00:14:40,625 Now, Moffis not a pusher. He's not violent. 246 00:14:40,708 --> 00:14:42,750 He's never been in any scenes from Scarface. 247 00:14:42,833 --> 00:14:45,375 He just sorts people out with party prescriptions. 248 00:14:46,208 --> 00:14:49,542 They're happy. Moff gets a free night. It's not big business. 249 00:14:50,875 --> 00:14:52,833 Next stop, Trixi. 250 00:14:52,917 --> 00:14:56,333 - Trixi? - Hey! Moff! 251 00:14:58,375 --> 00:15:02,750 - Hard day at the office, Trix, or what? - Oh! I've been working my tits off. 252 00:15:02,833 --> 00:15:03,833 I can see that. 253 00:15:04,625 --> 00:15:07,625 What's cooking, Moffer the bon temps-y? 254 00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:09,792 Not much, mate. Life in the bus lane. 255 00:15:09,875 --> 00:15:11,250 Do you, uh... 256 00:15:12,292 --> 00:15:14,417 - Do you want any hashish or what? - What is it? 257 00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,333 - Bit of Cilla. - Cilla Black, is it? 258 00:15:16,417 --> 00:15:20,167 - Right, what do you want? - I'll take your finest-looking Henry. 259 00:15:21,417 --> 00:15:23,583 Something's going on here. I'm fucking psychic, me. 260 00:15:23,667 --> 00:15:24,708 Do you know why? 261 00:15:24,792 --> 00:15:26,875 There's an eighth there for the mistress. 262 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,875 You fucking winding me up or what? Fucking hell. This is a tenner. 263 00:15:48,958 --> 00:15:50,917 A fuckin' tenner? 264 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,500 Fuckin' hell, Trix. 265 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,833 Fuck. You surprise me. 266 00:15:57,625 --> 00:15:58,625 Fuck me. 267 00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:02,792 Can I interest you in any Billy, my Lord? 268 00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:06,417 You really know how to make a man go moist. You know that? 269 00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:09,833 ♪ Cruisin' down the boulevard 270 00:16:09,917 --> 00:16:12,125 ♪ I'm treated like some superstar 271 00:16:12,208 --> 00:16:13,958 ♪ You know the time, so don't look hard 272 00:16:14,042 --> 00:16:16,583 ♪ Get with it, the ultimate homeboy car 273 00:16:16,667 --> 00:16:18,833 ♪ All you suckers in the other ride 274 00:16:18,917 --> 00:16:21,458 ♪ Wherever I'm comin', get to my side 275 00:16:21,542 --> 00:16:23,333 ♪ My '98 is tough to chase 276 00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:26,208 ♪ If you're on my tail, better watch your face 277 00:16:26,292 --> 00:16:28,250 ♪ You gonna get yours, suckers to the side 278 00:16:28,333 --> 00:16:30,708 ♪ I know you hate my '98 279 00:16:30,792 --> 00:16:31,833 ♪ You gonna get your ♪ 280 00:16:33,417 --> 00:16:36,167 I'm supposed to see my mum tomorrow, but I'm droppin' tonight, 281 00:16:36,250 --> 00:16:38,417 so there is no way I can deal with heron a comedown. 282 00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:39,875 I'm in and out, five minutes. 283 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,333 Mum! It's me! 284 00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:45,958 I never knew my mum until I was 15. 285 00:16:46,042 --> 00:16:49,708 I was moved down here by the social when my father was locked up for fraud. 286 00:16:49,792 --> 00:16:51,750 Well, he was more like my friend than a father, 287 00:16:51,833 --> 00:16:54,833 taking me out on the circuit, bringing me up his way, you know? 288 00:16:54,917 --> 00:16:56,958 In Cardiff, my mother had always worked from home, 289 00:16:57,042 --> 00:16:59,458 which I always just accepted when we lived together, 290 00:16:59,542 --> 00:17:03,625 but now when I go and see her, it kills me to see how she gets used, man. 291 00:17:03,708 --> 00:17:05,625 It's been routine for her since she was my age, 292 00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:08,125 so she's got no hang-ups about it, which is cool. 293 00:17:08,208 --> 00:17:12,042 And I know it's not her fault. But I can't handle staying there long. 294 00:17:12,125 --> 00:17:13,750 Especially if she's with a punter. 295 00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:15,958 - Hiya, love. - Hi, Mum. You all right? 296 00:17:16,042 --> 00:17:17,292 Yeah. Aw. 297 00:17:18,625 --> 00:17:21,792 Aw, it's a nice surprise. I didn't expect to see you today. 298 00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:25,250 No, it's a flying visit. Um, listen, I can't make it tomorrow. I've gotta work. 299 00:17:25,333 --> 00:17:27,792 So I'll pop in Sunday. Is that all right? 300 00:17:27,875 --> 00:17:30,208 - All right. I'll cook dinner. - Cool. 301 00:17:31,208 --> 00:17:35,125 I'm with someone upstairs a minute. He doesn't take long. Five minutes, OK? 302 00:17:35,208 --> 00:17:38,000 Um, I've gotta move, Mum. I've gotta go. 303 00:17:38,083 --> 00:17:41,750 Oh, just five minutes, love. I never get to see you any more. 304 00:17:43,417 --> 00:17:45,208 Uh... All... All right. 305 00:17:46,292 --> 00:17:47,958 Some chocolates in the cupboard. 306 00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:58,167 Yeah, see you in five minutes, Mum. 307 00:17:58,250 --> 00:18:00,417 My mum can work through a lot of men in a day. 308 00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:04,208 Some fall in love with her, send her chocolates. Some get heavy. 309 00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:06,917 I used to hang around just in case things got out of hand. 310 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,750 Any trouble, I'd be there, you know? 311 00:18:08,833 --> 00:18:11,708 But I couldn't do it for long. I had to leave. 312 00:18:11,792 --> 00:18:14,000 Sometimes I've gotta stop myself from running upstairs 313 00:18:14,083 --> 00:18:17,042 and beating the living shit out of the man who's there with my mum, 314 00:18:17,125 --> 00:18:18,500 but I never do. 315 00:18:18,583 --> 00:18:22,708 Right, this is the score. Twenty quid for a blowjob, fifty quid to fuck her. 316 00:18:22,792 --> 00:18:25,553 Mind you, she'll do anything you like, as long as you've got the cash. 317 00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:27,292 She's got all the gear, you know, 318 00:18:27,375 --> 00:18:31,042 suzzies, open-crotch panties, peephole bra. 319 00:18:31,125 --> 00:18:34,750 Fit tits, crackin' arse. And she'll put on a bit of an act. 320 00:18:34,833 --> 00:18:38,333 Well, they call it acting, but she really enjoys it. Know what I mean? 321 00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:40,792 Fuck off! Shut the fuck up! 322 00:18:46,958 --> 00:18:50,333 Koop goes to see his dad every day after work. 323 00:18:50,417 --> 00:18:53,500 He never got over his last breakdown when Koop's mum left them. 324 00:18:53,583 --> 00:18:57,083 Since then, he's invented his own alternative reality. 325 00:18:57,167 --> 00:19:00,875 His world is split into those on his side and those on the enemy's side, 326 00:19:00,958 --> 00:19:04,583 who he identifies with through looks and gestures. 327 00:19:04,667 --> 00:19:06,958 His dad sends and receives messages telepathically 328 00:19:07,042 --> 00:19:08,667 through TV and satellite, 329 00:19:08,750 --> 00:19:11,125 and he's waiting for a sign that the mission is over 330 00:19:11,208 --> 00:19:12,583 and his life can start again. 331 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,875 - All right, Dad. - Oh! The cavalry! 332 00:19:16,958 --> 00:19:19,042 - Ah. - Oh! 333 00:19:21,792 --> 00:19:24,167 So, how long have I got to stay in here, then? 334 00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:28,708 I don't know. 335 00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:33,083 What did our side say? Tell me the truth, Leon. 336 00:19:33,167 --> 00:19:35,667 Look... I don't know. 337 00:19:36,625 --> 00:19:37,667 It's all right. 338 00:19:38,958 --> 00:19:41,333 I know you both can't talk about it. 339 00:19:41,417 --> 00:19:45,083 It would endanger me, right? Things could be worse, you know. 340 00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:47,875 It could be you in here amongst all these fucking headcases. 341 00:19:59,167 --> 00:20:02,708 I would like to propose a toast to the bird 342 00:20:02,792 --> 00:20:05,167 for giving her Mac job the finger, 343 00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:09,042 and for successfully gaining unemployment. 344 00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:11,042 What a fucking mistress! 345 00:20:11,125 --> 00:20:13,750 Thank you. Thank you. 346 00:20:15,167 --> 00:20:18,333 Already feels great to be part of the two million. 347 00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:21,417 I'm looking forward to sitting on my arse for a bit, 348 00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:22,958 having reversed sleeping patterns 349 00:20:23,042 --> 00:20:26,167 and getting into some hardcore Richard and Judy. 350 00:20:35,833 --> 00:20:37,667 Go, girl! 351 00:20:37,750 --> 00:20:39,792 Come on, sugar! Show it to me! 352 00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:45,292 Check out the booty. 353 00:20:45,375 --> 00:20:48,542 They want you, honey. They want you, sugar. Come on. 354 00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:51,792 Listen, now! Go, girl! 355 00:20:52,375 --> 00:20:54,875 ♪ Cos I was sitting there bored to death 356 00:20:54,958 --> 00:20:57,417 ♪ And in just one breath he said 357 00:20:57,500 --> 00:21:00,458 ♪ You gotta get up, you gotta get on, you gotta get down, girl... 358 00:21:01,583 --> 00:21:02,583 Fuck! 359 00:21:03,208 --> 00:21:05,625 ♪ Last night a DJ saved my life ♪ 360 00:21:06,167 --> 00:21:08,625 Koop dreams of being the world's top club spinner, 361 00:21:08,708 --> 00:21:11,125 but he reckons it doesn't matter how well you can beat-mix, 362 00:21:11,208 --> 00:21:13,875 you ain't a DJ until you can scratch. 363 00:21:16,292 --> 00:21:18,250 ♪ Puff, puffin' Puff, puffin' 364 00:21:18,333 --> 00:21:22,000 ♪ Puff, puff, puff, puff, puff Puffin' da herb 365 00:21:22,083 --> 00:21:24,208 ♪ Herb, herb 366 00:21:24,292 --> 00:21:27,458 ♪ Herb, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, herb 367 00:21:27,542 --> 00:21:30,458 ♪ Puffin' da herb Puffin' da herb 368 00:21:30,542 --> 00:21:32,875 ♪ Puffin' da herb Puffin' da herb 369 00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:34,000 ♪ Herb, herb 370 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:41,750 ♪ Herb, puffin' da herb Puffin' da herb 371 00:21:41,833 --> 00:21:44,292 ♪ Puffin' da herb Puffin' da herb 372 00:21:44,375 --> 00:21:45,583 ♪ Herb, herb 373 00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:50,792 ♪ Herb... 374 00:21:50,875 --> 00:21:54,292 But he can't scratch to save his life. He just digs the fantasy, man. 375 00:21:54,375 --> 00:21:55,625 Go on, my son! 376 00:21:56,375 --> 00:21:58,917 ♪ Puffin' da herb, puffin' da herb 377 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:02,208 ♪ Herb, herb ♪ 378 00:22:11,917 --> 00:22:15,083 So, is your brother still going out with you lot tonight, yeah? 379 00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,083 Yeah, under the wing. 380 00:22:17,167 --> 00:22:20,958 - He hasn't dropped before, has he? - No. Breaking his cherry tonight. 381 00:22:21,042 --> 00:22:22,500 How old is he? 17? 382 00:22:23,625 --> 00:22:26,375 He's gonna do it eventually, so I reckon he's better off with me 383 00:22:26,458 --> 00:22:28,375 than mixing with the wrong crowd, you know? 384 00:22:28,458 --> 00:22:31,292 - Just keep an eye on him, though, yeah? - Mmm. 385 00:22:33,417 --> 00:22:36,667 I'm about to be part of the chemical generation. 386 00:22:36,750 --> 00:22:40,750 Doves, playboys, biscuits, barrels, Calis, clear caps, China whites, 387 00:22:40,833 --> 00:22:43,458 rhubarbs, looney tunes, New Yorkers. 388 00:22:43,542 --> 00:22:45,250 Bang on it. Larging it. 389 00:22:45,333 --> 00:22:47,458 The full monty, safe as houses, pair of trousers, 390 00:22:47,542 --> 00:22:50,292 what a laugh, let's do another half. 391 00:22:50,375 --> 00:22:52,292 Now, Lee is Nina's little brother. 392 00:22:52,375 --> 00:22:55,042 None of us know him, but he's gonna take drugs with us anyway. 393 00:22:55,125 --> 00:22:56,708 His enthusiasm scares me, man. 394 00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:59,917 He reminds me of myself when I was at the beginning of my ecstasy honeymoon. 395 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:03,750 Are your legs open, you filthy little harlot? 396 00:23:03,833 --> 00:23:06,667 - Is that you, Koop? - Oh, fuck! Shit! 397 00:23:06,750 --> 00:23:09,250 Yeah, sorry, Lu. Is Nina there, please? 398 00:23:09,333 --> 00:23:10,333 Sorry. 399 00:23:15,958 --> 00:23:19,208 - Hello. - Are your legs open? 400 00:23:19,292 --> 00:23:21,875 - Of course. - Then I'll begin. 401 00:23:30,500 --> 00:23:32,708 ♪ Girl, I'm gonna tie you up and wear the mask 402 00:23:32,792 --> 00:23:34,750 ♪ With your strap-on cock fuck me up my ass 403 00:23:34,833 --> 00:23:36,750 ♪ Your sexual powers leave me drained for hours 404 00:23:36,833 --> 00:23:38,875 ♪ But I gotta draw the line at golden showers 405 00:23:38,958 --> 00:23:43,000 ♪ And, girl, you got the sweetest arsehole 406 00:23:43,083 --> 00:23:46,792 ♪ It's like a pink, quivering rabbit's nostril 407 00:23:46,875 --> 00:23:47,917 ♪ Peace ♪ 408 00:23:48,833 --> 00:23:50,750 What are you fucking like? 409 00:23:50,833 --> 00:23:54,042 Superb! Thank you, sweetie. 410 00:23:54,125 --> 00:23:57,000 Shit. Have you got your party head on for tonight? 411 00:23:57,083 --> 00:24:00,542 More so than Wurzel Gummidge on a kilo of Charlie Chan. 412 00:24:00,625 --> 00:24:02,042 But Lulu's not coming now. 413 00:24:02,125 --> 00:24:04,792 What? Oh, shit. Why not? 414 00:24:04,875 --> 00:24:08,208 She couldn't get a ticket, and she can't be arsed cos of that twat. 415 00:24:08,292 --> 00:24:12,125 - Jip's not gonna be a happy shopper. - Oh, fucking hell. Who'd have a ticket? 416 00:24:12,208 --> 00:24:13,750 If I found one, do you reckon she'd go? 417 00:24:13,833 --> 00:24:17,083 Maybe. If Jip brings her. 418 00:24:17,958 --> 00:24:20,583 Geezer! 419 00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:22,958 Hey! What's happening, man? 420 00:24:23,042 --> 00:24:25,250 How's it going? Are you sorted or what? 421 00:24:25,333 --> 00:24:27,500 Hey, you're really cool, man. You're really cool. 422 00:24:27,583 --> 00:24:30,917 Hey, I know we've only just met, mate, but I think I love you, man. 423 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,625 Hey, show me love, show me love, show me love! 424 00:24:34,708 --> 00:24:37,125 Safe as fuck, you are, aren't ya? 425 00:24:37,208 --> 00:24:39,625 I can't fault you, can I, brother? 426 00:24:39,708 --> 00:24:43,500 You're like them fucking rookies back at Spike Island, man! Whoo-hoo! 427 00:24:43,583 --> 00:24:44,792 - What? - Listen. 428 00:24:44,875 --> 00:24:47,250 Lulu couldn't get a ticket for tonight. 429 00:24:47,333 --> 00:24:48,333 What? 430 00:24:49,250 --> 00:24:50,792 Shit, man. Really? 431 00:24:50,875 --> 00:24:54,167 - Know anyone that's got a spare one? - Oh, fuck. 432 00:24:56,250 --> 00:24:59,458 Uh, I think... I think Moff did. 433 00:24:59,542 --> 00:25:01,375 But I'm not sure. It was a while ago. 434 00:25:02,667 --> 00:25:03,750 Shit, man. 435 00:25:05,333 --> 00:25:07,292 I've got to get Lu out tonight. 436 00:25:07,375 --> 00:25:10,375 I need to cheer her up, you know? Get her mind off that twat. 437 00:25:10,458 --> 00:25:13,708 When we hit the club together, we're like Bonnie and Clyde, man, way out west. 438 00:25:13,792 --> 00:25:15,708 She's the only girl I've ever felt chilled with 439 00:25:15,792 --> 00:25:17,917 because we've never fancied each other. 440 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,750 Nothing could ever happen between us. 441 00:25:19,833 --> 00:25:23,500 I don't have to try and impress her or worry about embarrassing silences. 442 00:25:23,583 --> 00:25:26,292 I've gotta get her a ticket and put a smile back on her face. 443 00:25:33,125 --> 00:25:34,167 Hello? 444 00:25:34,750 --> 00:25:36,042 Hello! 445 00:25:36,125 --> 00:25:39,667 - Oh, hello. - Any contact with Tyler, the germ? 446 00:25:39,750 --> 00:25:43,083 Yeah, I gave that prick the verbal post-mortem this afternoon. 447 00:25:43,167 --> 00:25:46,208 Oh, respect, respect, to the bird most high. 448 00:25:46,292 --> 00:25:48,083 Listen, I hear you couldn't get a ticket. 449 00:25:48,167 --> 00:25:50,083 Yeah, well, it's been a lucky week for me. 450 00:25:50,167 --> 00:25:54,833 Well, I think that your luck is gonna change, sister, 451 00:25:54,917 --> 00:25:58,792 child of the beat, because if I just reach down here 452 00:25:58,875 --> 00:26:03,500 and dip into my "Uncle Santa Jip Will Fix It" magic box, 453 00:26:03,583 --> 00:26:07,208 you will find one freshly cut and preserved ticket for tonight's Asylum. 454 00:26:07,292 --> 00:26:11,167 - You got one? - Oh, yes. Oh, yes, I certainly did. 455 00:26:11,250 --> 00:26:14,875 I don't know, Jip. The batteries are a bit low, you know. 456 00:26:14,958 --> 00:26:17,042 Oh, fuck that shit, Lu. Come on. 457 00:26:17,125 --> 00:26:19,458 Come on. Everyone's going. 458 00:26:19,542 --> 00:26:21,125 Come on, Lu. Me and you, yeah? 459 00:26:21,708 --> 00:26:24,917 Come on, you've gotta come. Look, listen, Tyler is a prick, right? 460 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,208 He's a prick! 461 00:26:26,292 --> 00:26:29,167 Do not go down with that wanker's boat. You know I'm saying to ya? 462 00:26:29,250 --> 00:26:32,000 Anyway, town's gonna be full of horny men. Do you know what I mean? 463 00:26:32,083 --> 00:26:36,708 Fuck it, fuck it. All your best friends who love you. They love you. 464 00:26:36,792 --> 00:26:38,625 They all want you to be there, yeah? 465 00:26:38,708 --> 00:26:41,000 Come on. We'll have an absolute fucking blinder. 466 00:26:41,083 --> 00:26:44,083 Me and you. Absolute mayhem. Come on. We'll take the piss. 467 00:26:44,167 --> 00:26:47,583 Absolute chaos. What are you saying? Come on. Yeah? 468 00:26:47,667 --> 00:26:50,500 - All right, you got me! - I wanna hear you say yes! 469 00:26:50,583 --> 00:26:51,750 - Yes! - Yes? 470 00:26:51,833 --> 00:26:53,125 - Yes! - Yes! 471 00:26:53,208 --> 00:26:56,042 - Yes! - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! 472 00:26:56,125 --> 00:26:57,875 See you later, babe! 473 00:26:58,750 --> 00:26:59,667 Ah! 474 00:26:59,750 --> 00:27:03,208 He who dares, Rodders. He who dares, my son. 475 00:27:08,250 --> 00:27:11,458 Hold on a minute. Hello? 476 00:27:11,542 --> 00:27:15,083 Eh, eh, eh, eh! How's it going, you big Cockney space case? 477 00:27:15,167 --> 00:27:16,500 Shut it. 478 00:27:16,583 --> 00:27:19,417 Did you manage to shift that ticket for tonight's spiritual gathering? 479 00:27:19,500 --> 00:27:23,458 - No, mate. No, not at all. No. - Oh! Nice one! 480 00:27:23,542 --> 00:27:25,542 - Why? Who needs one? Who, who? - Lulu. 481 00:27:25,625 --> 00:27:30,083 - Oh, sweet as. Sweet as, mate. - Cool, cool. 482 00:27:30,167 --> 00:27:32,583 - Matthew! - Oh, for fuck's sake. 483 00:27:32,667 --> 00:27:34,958 Catch you later. Don't go changing to try and please me. 484 00:27:35,042 --> 00:27:37,167 - Nice one, bruv, yeah. - Oh, nice one, brother. 485 00:27:37,250 --> 00:27:39,292 - Nice one, brother! - Nice one, brother! 486 00:27:39,375 --> 00:27:41,917 I said nice, bruv! 487 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:45,083 - Nice one, brother! - I said nice, bruv! 488 00:27:45,167 --> 00:27:48,417 - Fucking nice one, brother! - Nice one, bruv... 489 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:50,583 - Brother! - Fuck off! 490 00:27:52,792 --> 00:27:53,875 Come on! 491 00:27:53,958 --> 00:27:55,292 The weekend has landed. 492 00:27:55,375 --> 00:27:58,667 All that exists now is clubs, drugs, pubs and parties. 493 00:27:58,750 --> 00:28:00,958 I've got 48 hours off from the world, man. 494 00:28:01,042 --> 00:28:04,083 I'm gonna blow steam out of my head like a screaming kettle. 495 00:28:04,167 --> 00:28:06,875 I'm gonna talk cod shit to strangers all night. 496 00:28:06,958 --> 00:28:08,875 I'm gonna lose the plot on the dance floor. 497 00:28:08,958 --> 00:28:11,917 The free radicals inside me are freaking, man. 498 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,750 Tonight I'm Jip Travolta. I'm Peter Popper. 499 00:28:14,833 --> 00:28:17,542 I'm going to Never Never Land with my chosen family, man. 500 00:28:17,625 --> 00:28:20,250 We're gonna get more spaced out than Neil Armstrong ever did. 501 00:28:20,333 --> 00:28:23,542 Anything could happen tonight. This could be the best night of my life. 502 00:28:23,625 --> 00:28:25,917 - I've got 73 quid in my back burner. - Yeah? 503 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:30,250 I'm gonna wax the lot, man. The Milky Bars are on me! Yeah! 504 00:28:30,333 --> 00:28:33,625 Calling all the crusaders of the dance floor in green-light mode. 505 00:28:33,708 --> 00:28:35,208 Ah-ha! 506 00:28:35,292 --> 00:28:38,458 Disco queens, club casualties, come on! 507 00:28:38,542 --> 00:28:41,542 Let's join forces! Let's ho of it! Ah! 508 00:28:57,083 --> 00:29:00,167 But first a daily injection of the late prophet Bill Hicks, 509 00:29:00,250 --> 00:29:02,792 just to remind me not to take life too seriously. 510 00:29:02,875 --> 00:29:06,833 It's not a very popular idea. You don't hear it very often any more. 511 00:29:06,917 --> 00:29:08,667 But it's the truth. 512 00:29:08,750 --> 00:29:12,083 I have taken drugs before, and, uh... 513 00:29:15,125 --> 00:29:17,250 I had a real good time. 514 00:29:19,042 --> 00:29:22,042 Didn't murder anybody, didn't rob anybody, didn't rape anybody, 515 00:29:22,125 --> 00:29:26,708 didn't beat anybody, didn't lose, mmm, one fucking job. 516 00:29:26,792 --> 00:29:32,167 Laughed my ass off and went about my day. 517 00:29:35,292 --> 00:29:36,417 Sorry. 518 00:29:38,917 --> 00:29:40,625 We're off on weekend manoeuvres 519 00:29:40,708 --> 00:29:44,625 from the world-famous studios, of course, of Radio 1 here, the Essential Selection. 520 00:29:44,708 --> 00:29:47,708 Those magical elements that make up the golden thing we call the weekend... 521 00:29:50,875 --> 00:29:52,667 Who the fuck do you think you are, you twat? 522 00:29:52,750 --> 00:29:54,958 Why don't you come through the door like everyone else? 523 00:29:55,042 --> 00:29:56,625 Because I'm not everybody else, fool. 524 00:29:56,708 --> 00:29:59,667 Hey, don't make me fucking prove my masculinity to you now. 525 00:29:59,750 --> 00:30:02,250 Masculinity, what? Testosterone's flowing, bro, eh? 526 00:30:02,333 --> 00:30:03,750 Violence is inevitable, mate. 527 00:30:03,833 --> 00:30:06,042 I smells a glassin' in the air, boys, is it? 528 00:30:06,125 --> 00:30:10,417 - Glassin', is it? Fuck you! Ah! - Fuck you! Fuck you! 529 00:30:13,708 --> 00:30:15,375 I defeat all men! 530 00:30:17,792 --> 00:30:20,625 - Come on! - Come on, come on! 531 00:30:20,708 --> 00:30:22,476 So, what, are you on a mission tonight, then, or what? 532 00:30:22,500 --> 00:30:24,708 Oh, mate, I'm all revved up, I'm all revved up. 533 00:30:24,792 --> 00:30:27,875 I'm ready to paint the town psychedelic colours, everything, man. 534 00:30:27,958 --> 00:30:30,708 Battyman and Robin. You know what I mean? Let's go apeshit. 535 00:30:30,792 --> 00:30:32,542 - Seriously. - It's the only way out, mate. 536 00:30:32,625 --> 00:30:35,917 Steroids, ketamine, laughing gas. Bring 'em all on. You know what I mean? 537 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:40,375 Tell you what. We'll do a fucking armed robbery in Boots on the comedown. 538 00:30:40,458 --> 00:30:42,958 - Is it? Is it? - Is it? Is it? 539 00:30:44,542 --> 00:30:45,583 Come on! 540 00:31:04,333 --> 00:31:08,125 Hey, mate. Mate, have you seen Taxi Driver? 541 00:31:09,542 --> 00:31:10,833 - Yeah. - Yeah? 542 00:31:11,500 --> 00:31:14,333 Hey, mate, can you relate to it, sort of thing? 543 00:31:14,417 --> 00:31:17,208 - Yeah. - Yeah? Fuck. Do you understand? 544 00:31:17,292 --> 00:31:19,667 You could be Cardiff's answer to Travis Bickle, 545 00:31:19,750 --> 00:31:21,500 on a timer waiting to explode. 546 00:31:21,583 --> 00:31:23,958 Can you fucking believe that? Can you imagine doing that? 547 00:31:24,042 --> 00:31:26,958 Imagine doing a Travis. I mean, fucking hell. 548 00:31:27,042 --> 00:31:29,750 See, me, I'd have to take a celebrity with me. 549 00:31:29,833 --> 00:31:33,375 Someone like, um... What's his name? Uh, ah, uh... 550 00:31:33,458 --> 00:31:36,833 What's his name? Uh, British pop throb, you know. 551 00:31:36,917 --> 00:31:38,917 Built like a brick shithouse, he is. 552 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:42,875 Ugly fuck. Peter Andre. Peter Andre, yeah. 553 00:31:42,958 --> 00:31:44,917 I couldn't just shoot him first, though, mate. 554 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,083 You're having a laugh, in't you? Nah. Oh, no. 555 00:31:47,167 --> 00:31:50,125 That'd be like hoofing the cream cake whole without it touching the sides. 556 00:31:50,208 --> 00:31:52,000 Do you know what I mean? 557 00:31:52,083 --> 00:31:54,792 I believe it would be quite rude not to torture him first. 558 00:31:54,875 --> 00:31:56,833 Do you know what I mean, though, mate, do ya? 559 00:31:57,917 --> 00:32:01,667 Thumbscrews instantly spring to mind. 560 00:32:01,750 --> 00:32:06,000 You know, followed by an intense session of electrodes on the testicles. 561 00:32:06,083 --> 00:32:09,333 Yeah, yeah, a fucking, uh, a wire coat hanger down the Jap's eye. 562 00:32:09,417 --> 00:32:11,792 You know what I mean? Really fucking hurt the geezer. 563 00:32:11,875 --> 00:32:14,167 And finally a bullet between the eyes. 564 00:32:14,250 --> 00:32:16,458 And it's time to say hello to the... to the horned man 565 00:32:16,542 --> 00:32:19,375 you've been working on Earth for all this time, Pete! 566 00:32:20,167 --> 00:32:23,250 See you later on, Pete! No one gives a fuck about ya! 567 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,042 Fucking hell, mate. 568 00:32:27,125 --> 00:32:28,708 Right. 569 00:32:28,792 --> 00:32:32,292 Here, here, fucking good film, though, mate, ain't it, eh? God! 570 00:32:48,208 --> 00:32:50,333 Friday night's ceremony is to hook up in a bar 571 00:32:50,417 --> 00:32:52,083 and wind up the weekend. 572 00:32:52,167 --> 00:32:54,375 We've all got to try and get on the same level together 573 00:32:54,458 --> 00:32:56,333 so we feel like a unit when we hit the club. 574 00:32:56,417 --> 00:32:58,000 The music we love brought us together, 575 00:32:58,083 --> 00:32:59,750 and so did the music we hate. 576 00:32:59,833 --> 00:33:01,750 - The Spice Girls. - Boyzone. 577 00:33:01,833 --> 00:33:03,375 - Dannii Minogue. - Aqua. 578 00:33:03,458 --> 00:33:06,208 - Peter fuckin' Andre. - The Backstreet Boys. 579 00:33:06,292 --> 00:33:07,750 Uh, 911. 580 00:33:07,833 --> 00:33:08,833 Hanson. 581 00:33:09,417 --> 00:33:12,042 What gets me, right, is that these talentless wankers 582 00:33:12,125 --> 00:33:14,833 have the opportunity to reach an international audience, right, 583 00:33:14,917 --> 00:33:16,708 say something profound, instead of... 584 00:33:16,792 --> 00:33:20,167 ♪ Oh, baby, I'm all alone on the phone 585 00:33:20,250 --> 00:33:22,667 ♪ I'm 14 years old with a broken heart ♪ 586 00:33:22,750 --> 00:33:25,292 Fucking cheese-on-toast bollocks. 587 00:33:25,375 --> 00:33:27,583 Fucking embarrassing, mate, innit? 588 00:33:27,667 --> 00:33:31,625 Embarrassing to watch the little fucking hussy fucker. 589 00:33:46,792 --> 00:33:50,000 She's funny, she's cool, she's gorgeous. 590 00:33:50,792 --> 00:33:52,833 Oh, shit, I fancy her, man. 591 00:33:53,458 --> 00:33:55,500 No, I can't. She's my mate. 592 00:33:55,583 --> 00:33:59,125 - Piss. - Get in there, my son. Go on, my son. 593 00:33:59,458 --> 00:34:02,042 All right. I'm only going for a piss, man. Calm down. 594 00:34:05,708 --> 00:34:09,542 I am out of my nut. I'm telling you, we're in for one fucking night, mate. 595 00:34:09,625 --> 00:34:12,417 Believe me, I'm telling ya. You fucking stick with me. 596 00:34:12,500 --> 00:34:14,250 I'll look after ya. I'll tell you that now. 597 00:34:14,333 --> 00:34:17,333 You've never buzzed like you ever buzz with me. Do you hear me? 598 00:34:17,417 --> 00:34:20,542 Oh! I thought I was just gonna drop and have a blinder. 599 00:34:20,625 --> 00:34:23,833 What's all this shit about mind altering? What's gonna happen to me? 600 00:34:24,792 --> 00:34:28,875 We believe that ecstasy causes serotonin depletion 601 00:34:28,958 --> 00:34:32,000 and may lead to depression in later life. 602 00:34:32,083 --> 00:34:33,500 All right, Doc, fair enough. 603 00:34:33,583 --> 00:34:35,583 But on the flip side, Lee, 604 00:34:35,667 --> 00:34:38,125 you'll feel an overwhelming sense of empathy with people. 605 00:34:38,208 --> 00:34:40,167 You'll be able to be intimate with your friends, 606 00:34:40,250 --> 00:34:42,570 talk about things you never felt comfortable enough to say. 607 00:34:42,625 --> 00:34:46,292 Overheating when dancing on ecstasy 608 00:34:46,375 --> 00:34:49,708 increases heart rate and palpitations, 609 00:34:49,792 --> 00:34:52,917 and can cause heatstroke, resulting in death. 610 00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,750 Statistically, you're more likely to die 611 00:34:55,833 --> 00:34:58,667 from choking on a cabbage leaf or an argument in a pub 612 00:34:58,750 --> 00:35:00,583 than you are from dropping an E. 613 00:35:00,667 --> 00:35:05,750 Alcohol kills 30,000 people a year alone in Britain. 614 00:35:05,833 --> 00:35:09,625 But that's all right because that's a good taxable drug, nonetheless, isn't it? 615 00:35:09,708 --> 00:35:13,792 Your penis will shrivel up, and you won't be able to get an erection. 616 00:35:16,458 --> 00:35:19,458 Anyone who repeatedly takes ecstasy... 617 00:35:19,542 --> 00:35:24,667 ...is punching the wall between consciousness and unconsciousness. 618 00:35:24,750 --> 00:35:28,583 In later life, instead of reaching for the lasers, 619 00:35:28,667 --> 00:35:31,125 you could be reaching for the prescriptions. 620 00:35:32,375 --> 00:35:36,375 ♪ I need a fix from you to change my mood ♪ 621 00:35:37,083 --> 00:35:38,083 Yeah. 622 00:35:42,667 --> 00:35:46,250 - Anyway, it's good seeing you again, man. - Yeah, yeah. Take care. 623 00:35:46,333 --> 00:35:48,542 - See you in the club later on, yeah? - Yeah, yeah, OK. 624 00:35:48,625 --> 00:35:49,875 - Nice one, nice one. - Cheers. 625 00:35:49,958 --> 00:35:51,792 - Nice one. See ya. - Cheers. 626 00:35:51,875 --> 00:35:54,042 See ya. See ya. 627 00:35:59,250 --> 00:36:00,417 Fucking hell, man. 628 00:36:01,792 --> 00:36:03,792 If we'd have been more honest with each other, 629 00:36:03,875 --> 00:36:06,208 that conversation would have gone a bit more like this. 630 00:36:06,292 --> 00:36:09,000 Fucking shame we had eye contact when I walked in. 631 00:36:09,083 --> 00:36:10,375 Yeah, yeah, I know. 632 00:36:10,458 --> 00:36:13,333 Every time we bump into each other, we kind of fall into this groove 633 00:36:13,417 --> 00:36:15,542 of pretending that we like each other. 634 00:36:16,125 --> 00:36:17,625 I don't dislike anything about you, 635 00:36:17,708 --> 00:36:20,042 but I just don't like anything about you either. 636 00:36:20,125 --> 00:36:23,958 Yeah. Together we kind of surf the waves of social paranoia, don't we? 637 00:36:24,042 --> 00:36:26,625 No uncomfortable silences as yet. 638 00:36:26,708 --> 00:36:30,792 No, well, not as yet, but, you know, our luck's not gonna last forever, is it? 639 00:36:30,875 --> 00:36:33,167 Maybe it's time for your Houdini impression. 640 00:36:33,250 --> 00:36:36,333 Yeah, all right, man. Uh, I'm gonna get a drink from the bar. 641 00:36:36,417 --> 00:36:37,917 And you're with friends. 642 00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:39,708 - And I'll see you later. - That's the one. 643 00:36:39,792 --> 00:36:41,750 Let's pretend we didn't see each other next time. 644 00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:44,417 - Absolutely crucifying as always, mate. - Yeah, whatever. 645 00:36:44,500 --> 00:36:47,250 - Uh, look forward to seeing you. - Yeah, like an illness. 646 00:36:47,333 --> 00:36:49,792 - Don't get run over. - OK. Die. 647 00:36:49,875 --> 00:36:52,708 - Die. Wanker! - Wanker! 648 00:36:52,792 --> 00:36:53,667 Wanker... 649 00:36:53,750 --> 00:36:55,875 Friday night after the club, yeah? 650 00:36:57,625 --> 00:36:59,917 I got the horn, so I ring one of them porn lines. 651 00:37:07,833 --> 00:37:08,833 Hello? 652 00:37:10,292 --> 00:37:11,292 Yeah. 653 00:37:12,250 --> 00:37:14,750 My name's... Bob. 654 00:37:14,833 --> 00:37:18,250 I'm from, uh... from West... West London area. 655 00:37:18,333 --> 00:37:19,750 What colour drawers you got on? 656 00:37:19,833 --> 00:37:22,917 I'm whizzing me tits off, yeah? I'm fucked. 657 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:25,500 I end up going off on these... on these tangents about me life 658 00:37:25,583 --> 00:37:27,708 and me aspirations and shit like that, you know? 659 00:37:27,792 --> 00:37:29,375 It's like, "What are you doing?" 660 00:37:29,458 --> 00:37:33,333 Yeah, I'm a... a business interpret... um... 661 00:37:33,417 --> 00:37:37,208 ultra... I'm an ultrapren... ultrapreneur. 662 00:37:37,292 --> 00:37:40,542 Have you got brown nipples, or just like...? 663 00:37:41,458 --> 00:37:45,667 What, you wear all... What, you wear all black nail varnish and that, do ya? 664 00:37:45,750 --> 00:37:46,917 Fuck. 665 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:49,417 Next thing I know, the old man's hit me with, 666 00:37:49,500 --> 00:37:51,625 "Who the hell you been ringing in Taiwan, boy?" 667 00:37:51,708 --> 00:37:53,833 - Who the hell you been calling in Taiwan? - Taiwan? 668 00:37:53,917 --> 00:37:54,958 That's what he said. 669 00:37:55,042 --> 00:37:58,958 - Fucking hell. - Listen, listen, listen. 145 fucking quid. 670 00:37:59,042 --> 00:38:03,417 - Fucking hell! - I'm fucking telling you, man. 145 quid. 671 00:38:03,500 --> 00:38:05,958 - Believe it. - Fucking hell, Moff. 672 00:38:06,792 --> 00:38:09,375 - Fuck! - Jeez. 673 00:38:09,458 --> 00:38:12,625 Fair play, mate, fair play. That is the most expensive wank I've ever heard of. 674 00:38:12,708 --> 00:38:14,833 - Fuck's sake. Keep it down, will ya? - Sorry, sorry. 675 00:38:14,917 --> 00:38:18,250 - Sorry. - Fucking hell. Listen, listen, right. 676 00:38:18,333 --> 00:38:21,083 What really took the piss was she was more Cockney than me. 677 00:38:21,167 --> 00:38:24,667 Now, can you fucking believe that, Jip? Do you know what I mean? 678 00:38:24,750 --> 00:38:28,083 - Listen, now the old cunt's giving it... - I know you're sorry. You will be sorry. 679 00:38:28,167 --> 00:38:30,792 If in seven days you don't pay it off, I'm gonna chuck you out. 680 00:38:30,875 --> 00:38:32,417 That's nice, Dad. That is so nice. 681 00:38:32,500 --> 00:38:35,333 You lie in bed all fucking day. You haven't had a job for over a year. 682 00:38:35,417 --> 00:38:36,708 You don't have a girlfriend. 683 00:38:36,792 --> 00:38:38,708 - You're throwing your life away, boy! - I see. 684 00:38:38,792 --> 00:38:41,333 And chucking me out, that's just what I need at the moment. 685 00:38:41,417 --> 00:38:44,000 Don't give me that bollocks, cos it ain't even your gaff. 686 00:38:44,083 --> 00:38:46,000 Well, it won't be your gaff in a fucking week. 687 00:38:46,083 --> 00:38:48,250 - No? - You're 20 years of age, for fuck's sake! 688 00:38:48,333 --> 00:38:50,875 You really don't understand at all, do you, eh? 689 00:38:50,958 --> 00:38:53,292 I haven't got one friend that actually enjoys their job. 690 00:38:53,375 --> 00:38:55,542 Each one counts down the days till Friday. 691 00:38:55,625 --> 00:38:59,083 Dad, I'm not ready to become that miserable. 692 00:38:59,167 --> 00:39:01,792 - Matthew! - Life's hard enough, for fuck's sake. 693 00:39:01,875 --> 00:39:04,458 - I'm still researching. - Everyone's gotta work, Matthew! 694 00:39:04,542 --> 00:39:06,458 Don't you understand? I'm unemployed full time. 695 00:39:06,542 --> 00:39:08,333 I ain't got enough hours in the fucking day. 696 00:39:08,417 --> 00:39:11,292 Enough hours in the fucking day? You ain't even here in the fucking day. 697 00:39:11,375 --> 00:39:13,542 And take this with you and all, you fucking little... 698 00:39:13,625 --> 00:39:15,042 Yeah? Bollocks! 699 00:39:15,125 --> 00:39:18,250 I mean, how many times have I told you? Get your own fucking flat. 700 00:39:18,333 --> 00:39:21,417 Get your own flat. You need your own flat, man. Seriously. 701 00:39:21,500 --> 00:39:24,375 It's a piece of piss. You can get it on the social. 702 00:39:24,458 --> 00:39:26,292 Where am I gonna go, for fuck's sake? 703 00:39:27,500 --> 00:39:30,250 I don't know. What the fuck do you care? 704 00:39:30,333 --> 00:39:32,667 As long as it's got a fucking phone line, it's all right. 705 00:39:32,750 --> 00:39:34,458 Fuck off, you cunt. 706 00:39:35,417 --> 00:39:38,500 I can't fucking relax. Glad to see I'm not alone. 707 00:39:38,583 --> 00:39:41,583 I really wanna lose my inhibitions, you know, be able to talk to strangers, 708 00:39:41,667 --> 00:39:44,500 break the ice, but I can't be arsed either. 709 00:39:44,583 --> 00:39:46,708 I don't need this stress on my night off. 710 00:39:46,792 --> 00:39:50,458 Britain, chill the fuck out and then show me how to do it. 711 00:39:50,542 --> 00:39:53,542 I think it's time for a new national anthem, you know? 712 00:39:53,625 --> 00:39:54,958 One I can relate to. 713 00:41:11,292 --> 00:41:12,792 Yeah, well, maybe not. 714 00:41:20,833 --> 00:41:22,083 ♪ It ain't gonna be me 715 00:41:35,167 --> 00:41:36,750 ♪ It ain't gonna be me 716 00:41:49,292 --> 00:41:50,375 ♪ It ain't gonna be me 717 00:42:10,625 --> 00:42:11,917 ♪ It ain't gonna be me ♪ 718 00:42:18,542 --> 00:42:21,875 No, no, Moff, Moff. This is not funny, man. Don't fuck about. 719 00:42:21,958 --> 00:42:25,208 Look, look, I just don't understand. I had it in here. I had it in here. 720 00:42:26,292 --> 00:42:27,500 Have you left it in the pub? 721 00:42:27,583 --> 00:42:31,083 No, I didn't take me wallet out once. I was paying with shrapnel in there. 722 00:42:31,167 --> 00:42:33,000 Maybe there are tickets on the door. 723 00:42:33,083 --> 00:42:35,208 No way. No way. Not tonight. 724 00:42:35,292 --> 00:42:38,208 - Oh, fuck. - I'm so sorry, Lu. I'm sorry. 725 00:42:38,292 --> 00:42:41,208 Look, forget it, man. It was a bad card. It just wasn't meant to happen. 726 00:42:41,292 --> 00:42:44,125 - What a fuckin' anticlimax. - Thank you. 727 00:42:44,208 --> 00:42:47,125 No, this is not gonna happen, man. No way is this gonna happen. 728 00:42:47,208 --> 00:42:50,292 - Thank you. - Koop, what's the owner of this club called? 729 00:42:50,375 --> 00:42:52,625 - Peter. - No, it's not Peter. 730 00:42:52,708 --> 00:42:56,333 - It's a Spanish name. Pablo. - Pablo Hassan? No way, mate. 731 00:42:56,417 --> 00:42:59,083 - Pablo Hassan. - No, mate. Don't even think about it. 732 00:42:59,167 --> 00:43:01,000 - No, sweetheart. You can't. - Oh, no. 733 00:43:01,083 --> 00:43:03,417 Seriously, right, if I'm not back here in ten minutes, 734 00:43:03,500 --> 00:43:04,792 I'll see you in there, right? 735 00:43:04,875 --> 00:43:06,542 - Sweetheart, you can't. - Ten minutes. 736 00:43:06,625 --> 00:43:08,292 - Jip, he'll kill you, mate. - Jip. Jip. 737 00:43:08,375 --> 00:43:10,042 - Excuse me, mate. - What? 738 00:43:10,125 --> 00:43:12,250 I'm from Mixmag. Got an appointment with Mr Hassan. 739 00:43:12,333 --> 00:43:16,167 - Jip, sweetheart, no. It's not worth it. - Go on, my son. Go on, my son. 740 00:43:16,250 --> 00:43:18,750 - I'm a bit late, mate. - Whoa. 741 00:43:18,833 --> 00:43:22,375 - Oh, no. It's not worth it, man. - Have a bit of faith, will you? 742 00:43:22,458 --> 00:43:24,958 I've got an appointment with your boss. Can I go in, please? 743 00:43:25,042 --> 00:43:27,333 - Pablo Hassan. - Listen to me. 744 00:43:27,417 --> 00:43:29,167 This geezer's never let me down yet. 745 00:43:29,250 --> 00:43:31,542 - I'm telling you now. - He's not gonna get in. 746 00:43:33,375 --> 00:43:35,250 - Ah! - He's gonna get battered. 747 00:43:35,333 --> 00:43:37,417 - Don't fuck about, does he? - What? 748 00:43:40,333 --> 00:43:42,500 Jip, what the fuck are you doing, man? 749 00:43:42,583 --> 00:43:46,167 This is Pablo Hassan, a complete schizophrenic cokehead. 750 00:43:46,250 --> 00:43:51,167 If he susses you're blagging him, his boys are gonna fucking maim you, man. 751 00:43:51,250 --> 00:43:54,667 Ah, but he likes to think himself as a bit of a businessman, yeah? 752 00:43:54,750 --> 00:43:57,208 Yeah. And I came here to do business. 753 00:43:58,292 --> 00:44:01,458 Hiya. Pablo Hassan? 754 00:44:01,542 --> 00:44:03,125 Tony Trueman. Sorry I'm late. 755 00:44:03,208 --> 00:44:05,417 - I don't know anything about this, man. - No? 756 00:44:05,500 --> 00:44:08,042 No. 757 00:44:08,125 --> 00:44:12,125 Oh. Well... my secretary phoned here yesterday afternoon. 758 00:44:12,208 --> 00:44:14,583 She, um... She spoke to someone here, 759 00:44:14,667 --> 00:44:16,625 arranged a meeting for tonight, eight o'clock. 760 00:44:16,708 --> 00:44:20,792 - Well, news to me, man. - Oh, God. I don't believe this. 761 00:44:20,875 --> 00:44:26,167 Well, basically, what it is, Mixmag, yeah, have done a survey of Welsh clubs. 762 00:44:26,250 --> 00:44:28,125 The Asylum has been voted 763 00:44:28,208 --> 00:44:31,083 the best club atmosphere in the whole of Wales. 764 00:44:31,167 --> 00:44:32,833 - Nice one. - He's going for it. 765 00:44:32,917 --> 00:44:35,167 Yeah. We're gonna do a... a double-page spread. 766 00:44:35,250 --> 00:44:37,875 I'll interview yourself, obviously, resident DJs, 767 00:44:37,958 --> 00:44:40,208 uh, some of the clubbers, shoot everything. 768 00:44:40,292 --> 00:44:42,042 Jip, you're overdoing it, man. 769 00:44:42,125 --> 00:44:43,958 - Do you wanna do it now? - Don't blow it. 770 00:44:44,042 --> 00:44:48,708 Well, you see, that's the only problem. Uh, you're not gonna believe this. 771 00:44:48,792 --> 00:44:51,000 Just got down here from London, and I've just found out 772 00:44:51,083 --> 00:44:53,792 my photographer was involved in a fucking car crash 773 00:44:53,875 --> 00:44:55,167 on the way here tonight, man. 774 00:44:55,250 --> 00:44:56,792 What am I talking about? 775 00:44:56,875 --> 00:45:01,333 I mean, it's nothing serious. It's just... It just means we can't do it tonight. 776 00:45:01,417 --> 00:45:05,208 So, you drove all the way down here from London just so you can't give an interview? 777 00:45:05,875 --> 00:45:07,583 It's all over, Jip. You fucked it up. 778 00:45:07,667 --> 00:45:12,333 I know. It's... Fuck's sake. I'm sorry about this, mate. Um... 779 00:45:12,417 --> 00:45:14,667 Can I use your phone? Someone's made a big fuck-up here. 780 00:45:14,750 --> 00:45:18,500 I wanna talk to my secretary, sort this out. Cheers. 781 00:45:22,792 --> 00:45:23,792 Come on. 782 00:45:24,833 --> 00:45:26,583 Carmel? Yeah, it's me. 783 00:45:27,792 --> 00:45:29,333 Yeah, I'm in Wales. 784 00:45:29,417 --> 00:45:32,417 Listen, what the fuck's going on? I'm with Pablo Hassan now. It's... 785 00:45:32,500 --> 00:45:34,625 Yeah, all right. I don't wanna hear it. 786 00:45:34,708 --> 00:45:37,958 Listen, has Danny Rampling confirmed his set tomorrow night at Ministry? 787 00:45:38,583 --> 00:45:41,458 - Danny who, love? - He did? OK, all right. 788 00:45:41,542 --> 00:45:42,875 Cheers, Carmel. All right. 789 00:45:42,958 --> 00:45:45,125 Oh, have you heard any more about Scott's accident? 790 00:45:45,208 --> 00:45:48,625 - What accident? - Yeah, OK. All right. See you later. 791 00:45:51,667 --> 00:45:53,542 Dizzy bitch. 792 00:45:53,625 --> 00:45:54,875 Cheers, mate. Uh... 793 00:45:56,375 --> 00:45:59,458 I can't do tomorrow night. Uh... Next Friday night? 794 00:45:59,542 --> 00:46:01,542 - Is that all right with you? - We'll go for that. 795 00:46:01,625 --> 00:46:03,583 Nice one. Sorry about the fuck-up tonight, mate. 796 00:46:03,667 --> 00:46:05,667 - We'll get it right next time. - All right, Tony. 797 00:46:05,750 --> 00:46:07,667 All right. I'll see you next Friday, mate. 798 00:46:08,708 --> 00:46:11,625 He who dares, my son. He who dares. 799 00:46:11,708 --> 00:46:13,167 Nice one, mate. Nice one. 800 00:46:14,708 --> 00:46:17,875 He'd fucking better be all right. 801 00:46:19,500 --> 00:46:20,750 Course he's here. 802 00:46:21,625 --> 00:46:24,583 - We're in! Come on! - Come on! Yeah! 803 00:46:24,667 --> 00:46:27,000 - Yeah! Come on! - Come on! Where is he? Where... 804 00:46:28,167 --> 00:46:29,958 - See? - He's here! 805 00:46:30,667 --> 00:46:33,208 What a guy! What a guy! 806 00:46:38,750 --> 00:46:40,208 - Babe! - What did I tell ya? 807 00:46:40,292 --> 00:46:41,500 - Yeah! - What happened? 808 00:46:41,583 --> 00:46:43,000 Oh, man. 809 00:46:43,542 --> 00:46:45,292 A heart attack is what happened. 810 00:46:45,375 --> 00:46:47,167 I don't care! You're here now. 811 00:46:52,333 --> 00:46:53,333 Doves, is it? 812 00:46:54,625 --> 00:46:56,542 - Yeah, mate. - Fuckin' laced, anyway. 813 00:46:56,625 --> 00:46:58,375 - Yeah. A bit of speed, a bit of speed. 814 00:46:58,458 --> 00:47:00,667 - Yeah. Like, proper as fuck, man. 815 00:47:01,375 --> 00:47:03,375 - Checking out the bush, yeah? - Oh, man. 816 00:47:03,458 --> 00:47:07,542 I'm checking out the bush fuckin' 24/7, fuckin' 365. 817 00:47:08,750 --> 00:47:11,000 - What's your name, mate? - Oh, safe as fuck, man. 818 00:47:11,083 --> 00:47:12,875 - What? - What? 819 00:47:12,958 --> 00:47:14,417 Your name's Safe As Fuck? 820 00:47:15,542 --> 00:47:18,458 - Don't know what you're on about, man. - I asked you what your name was. 821 00:47:18,542 --> 00:47:20,125 You just said "Safe as fuck". 822 00:47:21,042 --> 00:47:23,458 You're off the hook, but I don't know, like. 823 00:47:23,542 --> 00:47:25,083 I'm mullered, mate, I'm mullered. 824 00:47:25,583 --> 00:47:26,583 Inca Holmes. 825 00:47:28,125 --> 00:47:30,042 - Yeah, Felix. - Oh, man. 826 00:47:30,125 --> 00:47:33,458 Yeah. Nice... Nice one, mate. Keep the spirit alive, yeah? 827 00:47:34,542 --> 00:47:35,750 Safe as fuck. 828 00:47:36,792 --> 00:47:37,792 All right, babe? 829 00:47:39,292 --> 00:47:40,375 Come on! 830 00:47:45,083 --> 00:47:47,083 - Oh! - Yeah, man. 831 00:47:47,167 --> 00:47:49,083 - Go easy, go easy. - Oh! 832 00:48:40,917 --> 00:48:43,042 Wonder how the drug system works in here. 833 00:48:46,542 --> 00:48:50,042 {\an8}Every club is different, but in the Asylum, it's the manager. 834 00:48:50,125 --> 00:48:52,375 {\an8}He has a string of homeboys dealing the pukka Es 835 00:48:52,458 --> 00:48:54,292 to the party people in the club. 836 00:48:54,375 --> 00:48:56,792 He makes the most coin out of this enterprise. 837 00:48:56,875 --> 00:48:59,625 His homies will make just a couple of quid on each pukka. 838 00:48:59,708 --> 00:49:02,875 His homies are also scoping for other dealers on the block. 839 00:49:02,958 --> 00:49:06,208 When the homies have an illegitimate pukka E dealer in their website, 840 00:49:06,292 --> 00:49:07,667 they tell the bouncers. 841 00:49:07,750 --> 00:49:09,625 The bouncers grip him, nab his stash, 842 00:49:09,708 --> 00:49:11,708 and kick him out with a physical warning, 843 00:49:11,792 --> 00:49:13,375 gives the pukka Es to their homies, 844 00:49:13,458 --> 00:49:15,833 and they knock out to the kids in the club. 845 00:49:15,917 --> 00:49:17,875 What's your name? What have you had? 846 00:49:17,958 --> 00:49:20,750 Reach for the lasers. Safe as fuck. 847 00:49:44,083 --> 00:49:48,250 Hi, Jerry! We came all the way from Cardiff to say hi! 848 00:49:48,333 --> 00:49:49,792 Excuse me, girls. Hi. 849 00:49:49,875 --> 00:49:53,208 We're doing a documentary for television on the British club culture. 850 00:49:53,292 --> 00:49:56,042 - Would you mind answering a few questions? - Yeah, fire away. 851 00:49:56,125 --> 00:49:59,042 Oh, great. OK, Eric? OK. 852 00:49:59,125 --> 00:50:02,208 Um, can I start by asking why you come to these nights? 853 00:50:02,292 --> 00:50:06,208 - I'd like to answer that one, if I may. - Sure. Go ahead. 854 00:50:06,292 --> 00:50:10,375 To get absolutely trashed. 855 00:50:10,458 --> 00:50:14,083 - Do you take ecstasy? - No, no. Well, we used to. 856 00:50:14,167 --> 00:50:17,375 But now we just jack up heroin and float round the club. 857 00:50:17,458 --> 00:50:20,792 - You take heroin to come to the club? - Mmm. Yeah, well, we never used to. 858 00:50:20,875 --> 00:50:23,125 - But then we saw Trainspotting, didn't we? - Oh, yeah. 859 00:50:23,208 --> 00:50:25,083 - And that just made us want to do it. - Yeah. 860 00:50:25,167 --> 00:50:27,708 And sometimes if we watch New Jack Hustler before we go out, 861 00:50:27,792 --> 00:50:29,250 we smoke a bit of crack too. 862 00:50:29,333 --> 00:50:32,292 We just seem to be so impressionable. 863 00:50:32,375 --> 00:50:35,083 Well, it's the youth of today, you see. 864 00:50:35,167 --> 00:50:37,708 They need older people to show 'em how to live. 865 00:50:37,792 --> 00:50:42,375 Yeah. See, we learn from their mistakes, cos they've done it all before. 866 00:50:42,458 --> 00:50:44,917 - Yeah. Look at Jimi Hendrix. - And Elvis. 867 00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:47,250 - And Sting. - Sting's not dead yet. 868 00:50:47,333 --> 00:50:48,875 No, but he should be. 869 00:50:51,458 --> 00:50:53,375 Oh, uh, sorry. Do you have the time? 870 00:50:53,458 --> 00:50:55,292 Um, yeah, it's quarter to one. 871 00:50:55,375 --> 00:50:58,250 Oh, shit. We've gotta go. We're late for our next hit. 872 00:50:58,333 --> 00:51:00,167 - Hi, Mum! - Hi, Mum! 873 00:51:04,208 --> 00:51:05,417 Bye. 874 00:51:05,500 --> 00:51:06,958 Fuckin' piss-takers. 875 00:51:08,333 --> 00:51:10,417 What the fuck are we doin' here? 876 00:51:12,208 --> 00:51:15,250 I don't care what anyone says, it's not like it used to be. 877 00:51:15,333 --> 00:51:16,917 It's gone too widespread. 878 00:51:17,875 --> 00:51:21,000 It used to attract, like, open-minded people 879 00:51:21,083 --> 00:51:22,833 who were lookin' for something new. 880 00:51:22,917 --> 00:51:24,167 Yeah, yeah. 881 00:51:24,250 --> 00:51:27,083 - And people were a lot more friendly. - Oh, yeah. 882 00:51:27,167 --> 00:51:32,625 Now it's almost a cliché, right, to talk to a stranger in a club for some people. 883 00:51:32,708 --> 00:51:34,708 There was this sense of everyone coming together 884 00:51:34,792 --> 00:51:36,542 and doing what the fuck they liked. 885 00:51:36,625 --> 00:51:38,833 And the more you let go, the more people got off on it. 886 00:51:38,917 --> 00:51:41,333 That's it. And now look at it. 887 00:51:41,417 --> 00:51:44,958 It's so much more play it down, I'm so cool. 888 00:51:45,042 --> 00:51:46,083 - Fuck off! - Yeah. 889 00:51:46,167 --> 00:51:49,750 We have lost the fundamental reason for using E in the first place. 890 00:51:49,833 --> 00:51:53,042 Which is to leave your ego at the door 891 00:51:53,125 --> 00:51:56,333 and feel comfortable enough to communicate with strangers. 892 00:51:56,417 --> 00:51:58,125 - Yeah. - Do you know what I mean? 893 00:51:58,208 --> 00:52:01,083 Oi! Easy, man. F... 894 00:52:02,625 --> 00:52:03,667 Twat. 895 00:52:04,458 --> 00:52:07,375 Ah, do you remember when this was Tom Toms, man? 896 00:52:07,458 --> 00:52:10,125 - Tom Toms. - Oh! Hi-de-hi! 897 00:52:10,667 --> 00:52:15,333 Fuckin' reach for the lasers! 898 00:52:15,417 --> 00:52:17,708 Ecstasy in waves! 899 00:52:17,792 --> 00:52:19,958 Reach out and touch a friend! 900 00:52:23,083 --> 00:52:25,917 Ecstasy respects everyone! 901 00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,167 Let's go massive, Cardiff! 902 00:52:28,250 --> 00:52:30,917 See your hands in the fuckin' air! 903 00:52:31,500 --> 00:52:33,208 Yeah! 904 00:52:33,292 --> 00:52:35,167 Reach up to the whole fuckin' nation. 905 00:52:35,250 --> 00:52:37,167 Hardcore massive. No more aggression. 906 00:52:37,250 --> 00:52:38,875 Reach up, reach up. No more aggression. 907 00:52:38,958 --> 00:52:41,750 Reach up, reach up. Hardcore massive. 908 00:52:41,833 --> 00:52:44,917 We're here to express. Have fun. 909 00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,167 Peace! Unity of love! 910 00:52:47,708 --> 00:52:50,042 Oklahoma! 911 00:52:50,125 --> 00:52:51,833 Whoo! 912 00:53:02,583 --> 00:53:04,917 Right, I'm gonna tell you something. 913 00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:09,250 If this ever spreads, I will fucking die, right? 914 00:53:09,333 --> 00:53:12,500 I know you won't. I know, I know. But I'm just saying. Yeah? 915 00:53:12,583 --> 00:53:14,333 - Mmm. - OK. 916 00:53:14,417 --> 00:53:15,583 - Are you ready? - Yeah. 917 00:53:15,667 --> 00:53:16,958 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 918 00:53:17,042 --> 00:53:17,917 All right. 919 00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:19,875 You're gonna regret this in the morning, Jip. 920 00:53:19,958 --> 00:53:22,167 I am sexually paranoid. 921 00:53:22,250 --> 00:53:25,875 I'm sexually paranoid. I'm sexually paranoid. 922 00:53:30,750 --> 00:53:32,750 Welcome to the '90s, Jip. 923 00:53:34,542 --> 00:53:36,833 Seriously. Sorry. Go on. 924 00:53:36,917 --> 00:53:40,708 Well, I kiss girls and all, yeah, and it's fine. 925 00:53:40,792 --> 00:53:45,000 And as soon as I sense that they want sex, 926 00:53:45,958 --> 00:53:48,875 I just make my fucking excuses and I'm out of there, man. 927 00:53:50,042 --> 00:53:52,542 - I know, it's pathetic. I know it is. - No, no. 928 00:53:54,333 --> 00:53:56,417 Everything happens for a reason, Jip. 929 00:53:58,250 --> 00:54:01,167 Yeah, but this is not me, Lu. Do you know what I... This is not me. 930 00:54:02,042 --> 00:54:03,208 Give me an example. 931 00:54:06,458 --> 00:54:08,083 - An example? - Mm-hm. 932 00:54:09,750 --> 00:54:11,458 All right. Uh... 933 00:54:18,625 --> 00:54:20,750 - What had you been doing? - Well, I was stoned. 934 00:54:20,833 --> 00:54:23,333 Absolutely stoned out me trumpet, man. 935 00:54:25,625 --> 00:54:28,542 You just do not look like you're enjoying this at all. 936 00:54:28,625 --> 00:54:29,917 I know, I know. Listen to this. 937 00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:31,667 She's more experienced than you. 938 00:54:31,750 --> 00:54:34,750 She's gonna see your cock soon, say she's disappointed. 939 00:54:34,833 --> 00:54:36,542 Oh, stop thinking this shit. Come on! 940 00:54:36,625 --> 00:54:38,917 You're gonna fuck the arse off her. She's gonna love it. 941 00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:40,500 Say if you lose it during sex. 942 00:54:40,583 --> 00:54:42,500 I bet she's had some amazing shags in her time. 943 00:54:42,583 --> 00:54:46,500 Oh, shut up, shut up! Oh, no. Fuck. Oh, it's going down. 944 00:54:46,583 --> 00:54:49,458 Oh, God, please, please do me this solid. 945 00:54:51,250 --> 00:54:52,750 Listen to this, listen to this. 946 00:54:54,708 --> 00:54:56,042 What's wrong? 947 00:54:56,917 --> 00:54:57,917 Nothing. 948 00:54:58,667 --> 00:55:00,250 Are you OK? 949 00:55:01,375 --> 00:55:04,167 Yeah, yeah. I'm... I'm fine. Uh... 950 00:55:05,792 --> 00:55:08,917 Just a bit tired, that's all. Sorry. 951 00:55:14,167 --> 00:55:16,042 I've never had that happen to me before. 952 00:55:16,125 --> 00:55:19,542 - Oh, she's making it worse, man! - I know, but it was my fault, really. 953 00:55:19,625 --> 00:55:21,917 If it wasn't for the way my head was thinking that night, 954 00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:23,417 everything would have been fine. 955 00:55:23,500 --> 00:55:25,708 That is bollocks. We're not fucking robots. 956 00:55:25,792 --> 00:55:27,167 There's no rules to sex. 957 00:55:29,417 --> 00:55:32,208 I've gotta get up in the morning. I'd better go, OK? 958 00:55:33,125 --> 00:55:34,583 Um, OK. 959 00:55:36,500 --> 00:55:40,083 Oh, no. Now she's paranoid. 960 00:55:40,167 --> 00:55:41,917 She thinks it's to do with her. 961 00:55:42,625 --> 00:55:45,583 - Yeah. - Yeah, I'll... I'll give you a call, yeah? 962 00:55:47,875 --> 00:55:49,417 - Bye. - Oh, God. 963 00:55:50,708 --> 00:55:52,042 All I could think was... 964 00:55:54,833 --> 00:55:58,125 Fuck me. I'm impotent. 965 00:56:00,417 --> 00:56:04,875 Oh! You poor baby. 966 00:56:04,958 --> 00:56:06,167 - Oh. - Come here. 967 00:56:06,250 --> 00:56:08,250 Mmm. Mmm. 968 00:56:48,208 --> 00:56:49,333 Present has gone. 969 00:56:50,167 --> 00:56:53,292 Fantasy is a part of reality, 970 00:56:53,375 --> 00:56:54,667 and we take the brakes off. 971 00:56:55,667 --> 00:56:58,917 We're thinking clearly, yet not thinking at all. 972 00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:01,667 And this feels right. 973 00:57:02,750 --> 00:57:04,958 We stop trying to control things. 974 00:57:05,625 --> 00:57:08,583 Warm rush of chemicals through us. 975 00:57:09,917 --> 00:57:11,417 We're fluctuating. 976 00:57:12,375 --> 00:57:13,833 Is this brain damage? 977 00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:18,375 We forget all the pain and the hurt in life. 978 00:57:18,458 --> 00:57:19,958 We wanna go somewhere else. 979 00:57:20,042 --> 00:57:22,542 We're not threatened by people any more. 980 00:57:23,417 --> 00:57:26,833 All our in securities have evaporated. 981 00:57:27,708 --> 00:57:30,792 We're in the clouds now. We're wide open. 982 00:57:31,333 --> 00:57:34,000 We're spacemen orbiting the Earth. 983 00:57:34,083 --> 00:57:37,917 Yeah, the world looks beautiful from here, man. 984 00:57:38,792 --> 00:57:43,125 We're nympholeptics desiring for the unobtainable. 985 00:57:43,958 --> 00:57:48,208 We risk sanity for moments of temporary enlightenment. 986 00:57:48,292 --> 00:57:51,500 So many ideas. So little memory. 987 00:57:52,708 --> 00:57:56,750 The last thought killed by anticipation of the next. 988 00:57:56,833 --> 00:57:59,958 We embrace an overwhelming feeling of love. 989 00:58:00,667 --> 00:58:03,875 We flow in unison. We're together. 990 00:58:04,458 --> 00:58:06,042 I wish this was real. 991 00:58:06,792 --> 00:58:09,792 We want a universal level of togetherness 992 00:58:09,875 --> 00:58:12,417 where we're comfortable with everyone. 993 00:58:13,250 --> 00:58:16,458 We're in rhythm. Part of a movement. 994 00:58:17,625 --> 00:58:21,292 A movement to escape. We wave goodbye. 995 00:58:22,333 --> 00:58:25,042 Ultimately, we just wanna be happy. 996 00:58:26,292 --> 00:58:28,417 Yeah. Yeah. 997 00:58:30,333 --> 00:58:33,667 Hang on. What... What the fuck was I just talking about? 998 00:59:15,375 --> 00:59:19,083 Koop is having severe trouble adjusting to the love boat, man. 999 00:59:19,167 --> 00:59:22,208 Every time we go out, he's always gotta spoil it for himself. 1000 00:59:22,292 --> 00:59:24,708 And it's painful to see what he puts his head through. 1001 00:59:24,792 --> 00:59:27,667 He gets jealous of men even looking at Nina, you know? 1002 00:59:27,750 --> 00:59:30,500 He feels threatened by any bloke that speaks to her. 1003 00:59:31,292 --> 00:59:35,625 Nina knows a lot of people. I mean, she's a really affectionate character. 1004 00:59:35,708 --> 00:59:37,833 But she's fallen for Koop in a big way. 1005 00:59:37,917 --> 00:59:41,583 He's so fucking lucky, man. I'd do anything to have what he's got. 1006 00:59:41,667 --> 00:59:44,542 But he's stupid, you know. He's fucking it up with his male ego. 1007 00:59:44,625 --> 00:59:47,208 He gets paranoid with everyone, man. 1008 00:59:47,292 --> 00:59:49,042 Shit, he even gets it with his mates. 1009 01:00:08,083 --> 01:00:10,417 You wanna fuck her, don't you? 1010 01:00:12,208 --> 01:00:14,875 - No. - Don't fucking lie to me. 1011 01:00:14,958 --> 01:00:18,292 You've been staring at her arse for the last ten minutes. 1012 01:00:19,792 --> 01:00:22,750 Yeah, all right, fair play, Koop. But, fuck me, she's horny as fuck. 1013 01:00:22,833 --> 01:00:25,625 I ain't gonna do nothing, am I? She's your bird, for fuck's sake. 1014 01:00:25,708 --> 01:00:28,125 Yeah, that's right. She's my bird. My fucking bird. 1015 01:00:28,208 --> 01:00:30,542 Do you understand that? So stop looking at her. 1016 01:00:30,625 --> 01:00:32,250 All right, Koop, mate. Yeah, all right. 1017 01:00:32,333 --> 01:00:34,875 I'm just checking her out, mate, like all the others. 1018 01:00:34,958 --> 01:00:37,667 But that's it, Moff, she's not all the fuckin' others. She's mine! 1019 01:00:37,750 --> 01:00:39,250 You can't stop me looking at her. 1020 01:00:39,333 --> 01:00:42,292 How dare you imagine fancying Nina, you cunt, Moff. 1021 01:00:42,375 --> 01:00:44,708 Hold up a minute. Hold up. 1022 01:00:44,792 --> 01:00:47,375 Are you the fucking thought police or something? What's this? 1023 01:00:47,458 --> 01:00:49,500 Moff, you can look at any other girl in here. 1024 01:00:49,583 --> 01:00:51,750 Pick 'em. There's plenty to choose from. Just not her! 1025 01:00:51,833 --> 01:00:54,167 Yeah, Koop, I'm with you 100%, mate. 1026 01:00:54,250 --> 01:00:57,167 But, I mean, how do I know the next bird ain't gonna have a bloke? 1027 01:00:57,250 --> 01:01:00,542 No, no, fuck that, Moff. Fuck it! Cos it wouldn't matter to you anyway. 1028 01:01:00,625 --> 01:01:02,792 Because you'd still imagine fucking her, wouldn't ya? 1029 01:01:02,875 --> 01:01:04,667 Do you know why you know the answer to that? 1030 01:01:04,750 --> 01:01:06,542 Why do I know that, Moff? Why do I know? 1031 01:01:06,625 --> 01:01:08,958 Because you're just the same as the rest of us, mate. 1032 01:01:26,083 --> 01:01:27,833 So, babe, did you have a fucking pearler? 1033 01:01:27,917 --> 01:01:29,083 I've had a shit-hot time. 1034 01:01:29,167 --> 01:01:31,833 Listen, there's a party happening in Super Ely, all right? 1035 01:01:31,917 --> 01:01:34,583 - Yeah, I know. I'm going with my mates. - What mates? 1036 01:01:34,667 --> 01:01:35,958 - My mates. - Nice one, Lee. 1037 01:01:36,042 --> 01:01:37,542 - I'll see you in the wheels. - Yeah. 1038 01:01:37,625 --> 01:01:39,375 True, man. Nice, nice... 1039 01:01:40,542 --> 01:01:42,667 - I'll see you in a bit, yeah? - Yeah. 1040 01:01:43,542 --> 01:01:45,542 Who the fuck are those dodgy fuckers? 1041 01:01:47,708 --> 01:01:48,708 Lee? 1042 01:01:55,875 --> 01:01:58,875 Virgin toker, is it, Lee? 1043 01:02:02,292 --> 01:02:04,042 No, you wanna stick with me, Lee. 1044 01:02:04,125 --> 01:02:06,917 I'm like fucking Ziggy Marley or something, man. I'm telling you. 1045 01:02:07,667 --> 01:02:10,000 No, I'm Ziggy Marlon. 1046 01:02:10,083 --> 01:02:12,625 Ziggy Marlon in the motherfucking house! 1047 01:02:12,708 --> 01:02:14,042 Sorted, man. 1048 01:02:15,750 --> 01:02:17,708 Workin' the fucking herb, man. 1049 01:02:17,792 --> 01:02:21,458 I've smoked enough Thai. More than these pussies, man, I'm telling you. 1050 01:02:21,542 --> 01:02:24,833 - Have you fuck! - I know I have, man. Don't fucking trip. 1051 01:02:24,917 --> 01:02:27,792 You're the one who's trippin'. You've got a fucking kiddy's lung. 1052 01:02:27,875 --> 01:02:30,250 Me, man, I was doin' buckets, me, 1053 01:02:30,333 --> 01:02:32,625 when you was a twitch in your father's nutsack. 1054 01:02:32,708 --> 01:02:34,375 - Not at all. - Serious. 1055 01:02:34,458 --> 01:02:35,875 - Not at all! - Serious! 1056 01:02:35,958 --> 01:02:38,042 - What you on about? - What you on about, man? 1057 01:02:38,125 --> 01:02:40,125 - What you on about? - What the fuck you on about? 1058 01:02:40,208 --> 01:02:42,208 - What you on about? - I knows what I'm on about. 1059 01:02:42,292 --> 01:02:44,708 - What you on about? - He's been smoking longer than you. 1060 01:02:44,792 --> 01:02:47,333 - What the fuck you on about? - What you on about? 1061 01:02:50,250 --> 01:02:52,667 - Your mother! Your mother! - What you on about? 1062 01:02:52,750 --> 01:02:54,042 You bumbaclaat! 1063 01:02:55,708 --> 01:02:58,083 ♪ Shine on 1064 01:02:58,167 --> 01:03:03,417 ♪ Let the light of love grow stronger, oh 1065 01:03:03,500 --> 01:03:05,333 ♪ Shine on 1066 01:03:06,083 --> 01:03:09,875 ♪ You're the sun in my heart, a flame in the dark 1067 01:03:09,958 --> 01:03:15,958 ♪ So let the light of love shine on... ♪ 1068 01:03:16,042 --> 01:03:18,750 Fuckin' hell, mate. It's like a fucking video game, this. 1069 01:03:18,833 --> 01:03:20,625 Fucking lights and shit everywhere. 1070 01:03:24,833 --> 01:03:27,125 Yeah, yeah, yeah! 1071 01:03:27,208 --> 01:03:29,958 I know you gonna dig this! 1072 01:03:30,042 --> 01:03:33,250 Oh, yeah, baby. Come on, come on. 1073 01:03:33,333 --> 01:03:35,125 - Come on! - Yeah, come on. Let's fucking... 1074 01:03:38,292 --> 01:03:41,125 Now I'm gonna take you on a guided tour of the club casualties. 1075 01:03:41,208 --> 01:03:45,083 - So, come on! - Right, let's do it! 1076 01:03:45,167 --> 01:03:47,625 We're all getting laid tonight! 1077 01:03:47,708 --> 01:03:51,375 Oh! Oh! Oh... 1078 01:03:51,458 --> 01:03:54,375 - Oh! - Fuckin' hell! It's Dynasty! 1079 01:03:57,958 --> 01:04:00,750 Oh, fuck me, man. Roni Size is the fucking bollocks! 1080 01:04:00,833 --> 01:04:02,833 That's exactly what I was gonna say, man. 1081 01:04:05,500 --> 01:04:07,667 - Are you fuckin' takin' the piss, man? - What? 1082 01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:10,833 Are you fuckin' takin' the piss out of me? 1083 01:04:10,917 --> 01:04:13,417 Where the fuck's this comin' from, man? 1084 01:04:13,500 --> 01:04:18,500 Sometimes, man, I look in your eyes, and all I see is fucking resentment. 1085 01:04:21,250 --> 01:04:25,583 ♪ That's paranoia! 1086 01:04:25,667 --> 01:04:27,833 - ♪ Mmm - ♪ Mmm ♪ 1087 01:04:27,917 --> 01:04:31,375 - So, who do you know, then, brah? - Every motherfucker. 1088 01:04:31,458 --> 01:04:35,042 St Mellons crew, Llanrumney posse, Trowbridge crew, docks posse. 1089 01:04:35,125 --> 01:04:37,292 Oh, brah, I got cousins down the docks, man. 1090 01:04:37,375 --> 01:04:38,500 - Down the docks? - Yeah. 1091 01:04:38,583 --> 01:04:41,583 Go on, Uncle Paul! That's proper ganja...! 1092 01:04:41,667 --> 01:04:43,917 That's the fucking motherland. You know what I'm ea yin'? 1093 01:05:06,042 --> 01:05:08,625 - All right, babe? - What the fuck are you doing to me? 1094 01:05:08,708 --> 01:05:11,417 - What are you talking about? - Talking to that bloke in the club. 1095 01:05:11,500 --> 01:05:14,458 - You kept on touching his chest. - Did I? Who? 1096 01:05:14,542 --> 01:05:15,958 You fucking know who. 1097 01:05:17,125 --> 01:05:19,125 Right in front of me as well. 1098 01:05:19,208 --> 01:05:22,083 You know, it scares me to imagine what you're like when I'm not around. 1099 01:05:22,167 --> 01:05:24,958 Yeah, this all sounds a bit familiar, really, doesn't it, lovely? 1100 01:05:25,042 --> 01:05:27,958 Yeah, well, how about a little bit of consideration, eh? 1101 01:05:28,042 --> 01:05:31,375 I don't want you talking like that with other boys. It affects me. 1102 01:05:31,458 --> 01:05:34,833 Look, Koop, I really can't be pissed with this one again tonight. 1103 01:05:34,917 --> 01:05:38,625 I haven't done anything wrong. You're just being paranoid. 1104 01:05:38,708 --> 01:05:40,417 Sort it out, for fuck's sake. 1105 01:05:40,500 --> 01:05:43,750 Would you like it if I was flirting with a girl and I kept on touching her chest? 1106 01:05:43,833 --> 01:05:45,875 - Would you? - Only if she had better tits than me. 1107 01:05:45,958 --> 01:05:47,125 No, fuck off, Nin. 1108 01:05:48,333 --> 01:05:50,208 Don't give me that shit. 1109 01:05:50,292 --> 01:05:52,042 You always... You always... 1110 01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:55,083 You're always touching people, aren't you? 1111 01:05:55,167 --> 01:05:58,417 But that doesn't mean to say I'm flirting with anyone, for fuck's sake! 1112 01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:03,208 I don't know how much more reassurance I can give you. 1113 01:06:03,292 --> 01:06:04,958 What do I have to do? 1114 01:06:06,667 --> 01:06:08,083 Don't you trust me? 1115 01:06:09,833 --> 01:06:11,917 Answer me! Don't you trust me, Koop? 1116 01:06:13,792 --> 01:06:14,792 Fuck. 1117 01:06:16,750 --> 01:06:20,208 Yeah, man, Star Wars is definitely about drug culture, man. 1118 01:06:20,292 --> 01:06:22,500 There's no fucking question. It has to be, man. 1119 01:06:22,583 --> 01:06:24,375 You're telling me, And. You're telling me. 1120 01:06:24,458 --> 01:06:27,042 I mean, what was Jabba smoking in that big glass pipe? 1121 01:06:27,125 --> 01:06:29,542 - Come on. What are we, thick? - It was fucking opium. 1122 01:06:29,625 --> 01:06:30,667 Course it was opium! 1123 01:06:30,750 --> 01:06:33,833 Did you see his tongue, man? And that fucking tail. 1124 01:06:33,917 --> 01:06:35,958 Listen, listen. Han Solo, yeah? 1125 01:06:36,042 --> 01:06:38,542 He's got a smuggling compartment in the Millennium Falcon. 1126 01:06:38,625 --> 01:06:42,667 He's only an intergalactic smack dealer. Fucking gets up there! 1127 01:06:42,750 --> 01:06:45,667 Listen, Yoda, man, as well. He's been coming down for about 500 years. 1128 01:06:45,750 --> 01:06:47,833 - Course he is. - He's fucked, the poor bastard. 1129 01:06:47,917 --> 01:06:51,125 He's used to be really tall and handsome, like, you know... 1130 01:06:51,208 --> 01:06:52,458 - What, like Chewbacca? - Yeah. 1131 01:06:52,542 --> 01:06:54,958 I can't do it. 1132 01:06:55,042 --> 01:06:57,792 - Now he's fucking, like, two foot high... - Yeah. 1133 01:06:57,875 --> 01:07:00,000 ...and fucking pointed tabs, white hair and hooves. 1134 01:07:00,083 --> 01:07:02,583 Hooves. That's what I was gonna say. The fucking hooves, man. 1135 01:07:02,667 --> 01:07:06,042 What a comedown. What about the emperor? The fucking emperor. 1136 01:07:06,125 --> 01:07:08,208 The king crackhead of the galaxy, yeah? 1137 01:07:08,292 --> 01:07:10,292 He's got so much fucking hard cash 1138 01:07:10,375 --> 01:07:13,375 from selling crack to space junkies, yeah, 1139 01:07:13,458 --> 01:07:15,333 he's only gone and built his own planet. 1140 01:07:15,417 --> 01:07:17,500 You know what I mean? On drug money. 1141 01:07:17,583 --> 01:07:20,042 - The fucking Death Star. - The Death Star! 1142 01:07:20,125 --> 01:07:23,833 And he's sat in there going like, "Come on, more power! More power!" 1143 01:07:23,917 --> 01:07:25,125 And Yoda's like... 1144 01:07:25,208 --> 01:07:27,667 Yeah, yeah, and he's chilled out, man. 1145 01:07:27,750 --> 01:07:30,667 - Yeah, a bit zooted, all that. - Be creative, yeah, man. 1146 01:07:34,458 --> 01:07:35,667 What was I talking about? 1147 01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:38,667 - Huh? - What was I talking about? 1148 01:07:39,875 --> 01:07:41,458 - What, just now? - Yeah. 1149 01:07:44,917 --> 01:07:47,250 - Your dad. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1150 01:07:48,042 --> 01:07:50,792 Yeah, well, I'll tell you what, mate, the thing about my old boy is, 1151 01:07:50,875 --> 01:07:54,167 is that I love him and that, and he's always been there for me, 1152 01:07:54,250 --> 01:07:58,417 and always spoke to me on my own level and that when I was a kid, yeah? 1153 01:08:00,208 --> 01:08:03,875 But I'll tell you what, I'm really worried about him. 1154 01:08:05,167 --> 01:08:08,042 - You're worried about him? Why, man? - Yeah. 1155 01:08:08,125 --> 01:08:09,125 Why? 1156 01:08:10,958 --> 01:08:14,583 He thinks I'm two identical twins pretending to be the same person. 1157 01:08:15,167 --> 01:08:16,542 Keeps calling me Leon. 1158 01:08:18,458 --> 01:08:20,250 Fucking hell. 1159 01:08:21,500 --> 01:08:24,292 Yeah, mate. And I'll tell you what... 1160 01:08:26,167 --> 01:08:28,583 He's getting worse in there as well. 1161 01:08:28,667 --> 01:08:32,208 Those drugs they're giving him, they're fucking his head up, mate. 1162 01:08:34,625 --> 01:08:35,625 Fuck. 1163 01:08:38,417 --> 01:08:40,958 - So, what, he thinks you're two people? - Yeah. 1164 01:08:42,500 --> 01:08:43,750 - Fuck. - Yeah. 1165 01:08:44,833 --> 01:08:46,958 Fair play, man. That's pretty west, innit? 1166 01:08:49,125 --> 01:08:53,125 Yeah, but you know, sanity, man, how do you define that? 1167 01:08:53,208 --> 01:08:55,833 You know, how do you define sanity, you know? 1168 01:08:55,917 --> 01:08:58,542 Who's to say that, you know, the people that, you know, 1169 01:08:58,625 --> 01:09:00,208 are supposed to be mad, you know, 1170 01:09:00,292 --> 01:09:02,708 who's to say that they're, you know, just not tapped into 1171 01:09:02,792 --> 01:09:05,250 a higher sensory perception or something, you know? 1172 01:09:05,333 --> 01:09:07,875 Into, you know, a different kind of universe. 1173 01:09:07,958 --> 01:09:10,542 They're way ahead, you know? You know? 1174 01:09:10,625 --> 01:09:12,417 - And we just haven't caught up yet. - Yeah. 1175 01:09:12,500 --> 01:09:13,667 Listen to this. 1176 01:09:14,750 --> 01:09:17,750 The emperor wants to control outer space. 1177 01:09:18,833 --> 01:09:22,167 Yoda wants to explore inner space. 1178 01:09:23,917 --> 01:09:27,750 That's the fundamental difference between the good and the bad sides 1179 01:09:27,833 --> 01:09:28,958 of the Force. 1180 01:09:35,208 --> 01:09:38,208 - Shit. Shit. - Fuck. I mean, fuck. 1181 01:09:39,958 --> 01:09:41,625 Fuck's sake, man. 1182 01:09:41,708 --> 01:09:45,500 I just don't know where it comes from sometimes, And. It frightens me. 1183 01:09:45,583 --> 01:09:47,583 ♪ There's not a problem that I can't fix 1184 01:09:47,667 --> 01:09:49,333 ♪ Cos I can do it in the mix 1185 01:09:49,417 --> 01:09:51,643 ♪ And if your man gives you trouble, just you move out on the double 1186 01:09:51,667 --> 01:09:53,625 ♪ And you don't let it trouble your brain 1187 01:09:53,708 --> 01:09:56,458 ♪ Cos away goes trouble down the drain 1188 01:09:57,833 --> 01:09:59,417 ♪ Said away goes trouble 1189 01:09:59,500 --> 01:10:00,750 ♪ Down the drain... ♪ 1190 01:10:01,542 --> 01:10:06,792 I want ETs to abduct me from Planet Cardiff. 1191 01:10:06,875 --> 01:10:10,042 Come on, you fuckers! Let's go! 1192 01:10:16,042 --> 01:10:18,375 You can't blame them for not coming, though. 1193 01:10:18,458 --> 01:10:22,958 I mean, they've only gotta fucking check out the ten o'clock news, 1194 01:10:23,042 --> 01:10:27,417 and check out all the murders and diseases and wars... 1195 01:10:28,292 --> 01:10:29,458 Jack Docherty. 1196 01:10:37,667 --> 01:10:38,667 Oh! 1197 01:10:40,250 --> 01:10:43,792 Take me to a world where the drugs are free, 1198 01:10:44,792 --> 01:10:47,500 the clubs have no gravity, 1199 01:10:47,583 --> 01:10:50,750 and every shag guarantees an orgasm! 1200 01:10:50,833 --> 01:10:53,792 Yeah! Two orgasms! 1201 01:10:53,875 --> 01:10:55,458 - Yeah! - Yes! 1202 01:10:55,542 --> 01:10:58,208 He's a genius. Um, Socrates. 1203 01:10:58,292 --> 01:11:01,000 - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah? And he's giving it all that. 1204 01:11:01,083 --> 01:11:03,167 And they're going, "What? What, Socrates, man? 1205 01:11:03,250 --> 01:11:05,167 You're off your tits! What you talking about?" 1206 01:11:05,250 --> 01:11:07,417 You know. They fucking thought he was mad, you know. 1207 01:11:07,500 --> 01:11:11,625 And this guy, you know, he... he sped up evolution of mankind, you know. 1208 01:11:11,708 --> 01:11:14,083 He fuckin', you know... He was a genius, this guy. 1209 01:11:14,167 --> 01:11:16,208 They thought he was crazy. You know what I mean? 1210 01:11:16,292 --> 01:11:18,167 I mean, they lock these people up, right, 1211 01:11:18,250 --> 01:11:19,833 but they should let 'em out, man. 1212 01:11:19,917 --> 01:11:22,625 They should fuckin' put these people in Parliament and that. 1213 01:11:22,708 --> 01:11:25,042 You know what I mean? Fucking put them in Parliament. 1214 01:11:25,125 --> 01:11:26,625 They're talking sense, these people. 1215 01:11:26,708 --> 01:11:30,833 Put your dad on that fucking chair in Parliament and listen to that man! 1216 01:11:30,917 --> 01:11:33,125 - You know? Deal with that! - You know what I mean? 1217 01:11:33,208 --> 01:11:34,625 - You know what I mean? - Yeah! 1218 01:11:34,708 --> 01:11:36,292 Fuckin' mad. Bollocks. 1219 01:11:36,375 --> 01:11:40,000 I mean, you know, we're not in hospital and that, but we're not normal, are we? 1220 01:11:42,792 --> 01:11:45,125 - Look. Are we fuck. - Are we fuck. 1221 01:11:48,958 --> 01:11:52,542 Oh, my God. Look at your eyes. Look at your eyes. You're fucked. 1222 01:11:52,625 --> 01:11:54,958 You're so... Look at your... Look at that! 1223 01:11:55,042 --> 01:11:56,708 - Oh, my God! - Fuck. 1224 01:11:56,792 --> 01:11:59,500 - Oh, my God! Oh, my... No! - You're fucked! You're fucked! 1225 01:11:59,583 --> 01:12:00,625 You're so fucked! 1226 01:12:00,708 --> 01:12:02,083 - No, no. - And look at me. 1227 01:12:02,167 --> 01:12:05,250 Oh, you're f... No, I'm all right. No, I'm all right. 1228 01:12:05,958 --> 01:12:08,250 - I'm fine. I feel fine. - I'm all right. Yeah, fuck it. 1229 01:12:08,333 --> 01:12:10,125 - Little bit tired. I'm all right. - Yeah. 1230 01:12:10,208 --> 01:12:12,417 - Morning. Morning! - Morning. 1231 01:12:12,500 --> 01:12:14,167 Morning. Nurse? 1232 01:12:14,250 --> 01:12:15,750 - Nurse! - I need a piss pot. 1233 01:12:15,833 --> 01:12:19,083 - I need a piss pot and a pan. - And a... And a brush. 1234 01:12:19,167 --> 01:12:21,750 - And a brush. And a doctor. - And some Häagen-Dazs. 1235 01:12:21,833 --> 01:12:24,208 - And some... - And a... And a ho! 1236 01:12:24,292 --> 01:12:26,333 - Fuck it. Bring me a ho. - Bring me all that shit! 1237 01:12:26,417 --> 01:12:29,500 - We gonna eat tonight! - I need a normal doctor. 1238 01:12:29,583 --> 01:12:30,958 Cos I'm fucked! 1239 01:12:37,417 --> 01:12:38,583 I'm fucked. 1240 01:12:40,833 --> 01:12:42,208 Are you my best mate? 1241 01:12:43,125 --> 01:12:46,833 Yes. I am your best mate. 1242 01:12:48,167 --> 01:12:52,417 So if I told you a secret, you wouldn't tell anybody else? 1243 01:12:53,333 --> 01:12:55,500 No. Definitely not. 1244 01:13:03,542 --> 01:13:05,250 I can voluntarily... 1245 01:13:06,417 --> 01:13:08,875 ...perform a fanny fart at any time. 1246 01:13:16,458 --> 01:13:18,208 That is disgusting. 1247 01:13:19,292 --> 01:13:21,792 - Do you want me to show you? - No. 1248 01:13:22,583 --> 01:13:26,125 But... I think that makes me love you more. 1249 01:13:32,208 --> 01:13:36,833 Now we've reached the hour of spliff politics. 1250 01:13:36,917 --> 01:13:41,625 It's the time of the night when everyone knows who's got a spliff 1251 01:13:41,708 --> 01:13:44,000 and in which direction it's going. 1252 01:13:44,083 --> 01:13:45,500 See Casey in the hood? 1253 01:13:47,042 --> 01:13:50,625 He doesn't know Herbie, the kid skinning up next to him. 1254 01:13:53,208 --> 01:13:57,250 But to get a toke, he's got to start up some bullshit conversation 1255 01:13:57,333 --> 01:14:00,167 and keep it going until he gets passed the spliff. 1256 01:14:00,250 --> 01:14:03,417 Smells like soap bar to me. Can't fault a bit of solid. 1257 01:14:03,500 --> 01:14:07,250 Now look at Herbie's face. He knows what's up. 1258 01:14:07,333 --> 01:14:10,083 He's just hoping Casey will run out of steam 1259 01:14:10,167 --> 01:14:13,708 so that he can pass the spliff to his mate Felix. 1260 01:14:15,292 --> 01:14:17,708 But Casey's determined to keep on going. 1261 01:14:17,792 --> 01:14:19,333 I grows my own shit too. 1262 01:14:19,417 --> 01:14:21,667 He's gotta be clever to get in there. 1263 01:14:21,750 --> 01:14:23,750 Just a few more laps to go. 1264 01:14:23,833 --> 01:14:27,208 Casey is doing well. He's using all his best anecdotes. 1265 01:14:27,292 --> 01:14:30,750 And Herbie now seems quite engaged in the conversation. 1266 01:14:30,833 --> 01:14:32,417 Felix is trying to get acknowledged. 1267 01:14:32,500 --> 01:14:34,583 Yeah, man. Fuckin' homegrown. 1268 01:14:36,708 --> 01:14:37,750 Um... 1269 01:14:39,208 --> 01:14:41,333 Yeah, man, that homegrown shit's good, man. 1270 01:14:41,417 --> 01:14:42,708 But it's not working. 1271 01:14:42,792 --> 01:14:44,542 Ah, I just remembered, man. 1272 01:14:45,583 --> 01:14:48,375 Millsy's coming down next week with some Thai. 1273 01:14:48,458 --> 01:14:50,000 We'll go out and hoof it, man. 1274 01:14:50,083 --> 01:14:52,625 Wow! Look at Casey's face. 1275 01:14:53,750 --> 01:14:56,833 Now it looks like it's all been a waste of time and energy. 1276 01:14:56,917 --> 01:14:59,458 - Millsy? Millsy from Roath? - Yeah. 1277 01:14:59,542 --> 01:15:00,625 But he counters. 1278 01:15:00,708 --> 01:15:02,583 Oh, I knows Millsy from down Silhouettes. 1279 01:15:02,667 --> 01:15:05,083 It's neck and neck here at the last lap. 1280 01:15:05,167 --> 01:15:07,750 - Hello, my little space kitten. - Fuckin' hell! 1281 01:15:07,833 --> 01:15:10,375 - Give us a toke on that. - Boomshanka! 1282 01:15:12,500 --> 01:15:13,625 An interception! 1283 01:15:16,125 --> 01:15:18,125 But that's always the chance you take. 1284 01:15:20,500 --> 01:15:24,417 Round and round the garden, like a teddy bear. 1285 01:15:25,708 --> 01:15:26,917 Who's the teddy bear? 1286 01:15:29,125 --> 01:15:33,000 - One step, two steps... - Don't tickle me. Don't tickle me. 1287 01:15:33,083 --> 01:15:34,625 - Seriously. - I'm not going to. 1288 01:15:34,708 --> 01:15:36,958 - You are. - I'm not gonna tickle you. I promise. 1289 01:15:37,042 --> 01:15:39,000 - Come here. - Where's your hand going? 1290 01:15:39,083 --> 01:15:41,250 I'm not gonna tickle you. I promise. 1291 01:15:44,458 --> 01:15:46,875 Please kiss me. Come on. 1292 01:15:46,958 --> 01:15:50,917 I don't know whether I'm reading this wrongly because I'm off my tits, 1293 01:15:51,000 --> 01:15:53,000 but does she want me to kiss her? 1294 01:15:53,083 --> 01:15:55,417 I'm gonna have to make the first move. 1295 01:15:55,500 --> 01:15:57,625 He's probably more nervous than I am. 1296 01:15:57,708 --> 01:15:59,708 I want to, but I'm scared. 1297 01:16:01,167 --> 01:16:04,917 if I've got this wrong, it'll be so humiliating. 1298 01:16:30,958 --> 01:16:33,125 Yeah, it's like Vader, man, you know. 1299 01:16:33,208 --> 01:16:35,458 Bongin' really hard with a chest like that. 1300 01:16:39,917 --> 01:16:43,875 And... And, um, R2-D2, when... when he's... 1301 01:16:43,958 --> 01:16:45,500 Remember that? And when... 1302 01:16:46,917 --> 01:16:48,708 You know... Oh, fuck it. 1303 01:16:58,625 --> 01:17:00,292 You're a waste of time. 1304 01:17:01,708 --> 01:17:05,042 Jip, just relax, man. Chill. It's no big deal. 1305 01:17:07,583 --> 01:17:10,542 I don't understand why you can't have sex with me. 1306 01:17:11,083 --> 01:17:12,458 Sex with me. 1307 01:17:13,458 --> 01:17:16,125 What's wrong? Are you OK? 1308 01:17:16,750 --> 01:17:18,417 I've never had that happen to me before. 1309 01:17:26,333 --> 01:17:28,583 There's no rush. 1310 01:17:31,083 --> 01:17:33,708 Don't be nervous. You're with me, remember? 1311 01:17:36,417 --> 01:17:38,875 Yeah. OK. I'm sorry. 1312 01:17:39,500 --> 01:17:41,333 And don't apologise. 1313 01:17:43,583 --> 01:17:45,500 Come here. Come here. 1314 01:17:58,292 --> 01:18:01,667 Well, what goes up must come down, 1315 01:18:01,750 --> 01:18:04,667 and down, and down. 1316 01:18:04,750 --> 01:18:07,292 Everyone looks ill at the end of the night. 1317 01:18:07,375 --> 01:18:11,958 We've all lost the power of speech, desperately avoiding eye contact. 1318 01:18:12,042 --> 01:18:15,208 Your new soul mate that you've been talking cod shit to for the past five hours 1319 01:18:15,292 --> 01:18:18,917 about the story of creation or the fourth Star Wars film 1320 01:18:19,000 --> 01:18:20,875 is now a complete stranger. 1321 01:18:20,958 --> 01:18:22,708 You can't even look him in the eye. 1322 01:18:22,792 --> 01:18:25,750 The only thing you've got in common now is paranoia. 1323 01:18:25,833 --> 01:18:28,042 It's coming through the walls, man. 1324 01:18:28,125 --> 01:18:30,750 The children of ecstasy aren't safe any more. 1325 01:18:30,833 --> 01:18:35,292 We're no longer all together as one, but separate mental patients 1326 01:18:35,375 --> 01:18:37,792 that yearn to be ejected out of this poisoned atmosphere 1327 01:18:37,875 --> 01:18:41,000 to a warm bed and friendly therapist. 1328 01:18:41,083 --> 01:18:43,000 Reality's on her way. 1329 01:18:43,083 --> 01:18:44,542 Where am I? 1330 01:18:44,625 --> 01:18:46,833 What have I done? 1331 01:18:46,917 --> 01:18:48,625 Was it worth it? 1332 01:18:48,708 --> 01:18:51,625 And by the way, what the fuck happened here? 1333 01:18:52,792 --> 01:18:55,542 All you have to look forward to now is unconsciousness, 1334 01:18:56,583 --> 01:18:58,375 but you can never sleep. 1335 01:20:30,042 --> 01:20:32,458 Oh, feck. 1336 01:20:32,542 --> 01:20:34,417 Bonk, is it? 1337 01:20:37,708 --> 01:20:38,708 Hot, is it? 1338 01:20:38,750 --> 01:20:42,708 It's time you realised who wears the fuckin' curry-stained trousers 1339 01:20:42,792 --> 01:20:44,083 in this relation-shit. 1340 01:20:44,167 --> 01:20:46,125 - Curry, is it? - Curry, Karen. 1341 01:20:46,208 --> 01:20:48,083 - Is it? Curry, is it, Karen? - Curry, innit? 1342 01:20:48,167 --> 01:20:51,042 - Relation-shit. - Curry, is it? 1343 01:20:52,083 --> 01:20:54,917 - Relation-shit. - Relation-shit! 1344 01:20:56,125 --> 01:20:58,625 Beep! Beep! 1345 01:20:59,667 --> 01:21:03,167 - Fancy a piece of your dad, is it? - I'm a sensitive woman! 1346 01:21:03,250 --> 01:21:06,000 - Minking slapper! - Boop! 1347 01:21:06,083 --> 01:21:08,833 Tone, put down that ninja star! 1348 01:21:08,917 --> 01:21:11,792 - Is it? Is it? - Bumping and blimping. 1349 01:21:11,875 --> 01:21:14,333 Give my fucking ninja star back, or else I'll fuck you 1350 01:21:14,417 --> 01:21:16,167 with my fuckin' nunchakus! 1351 01:21:16,250 --> 01:21:19,458 Moff? I hardly recognised you. 1352 01:21:19,542 --> 01:21:20,542 Who's that? 1353 01:21:23,375 --> 01:21:24,375 Reality? 1354 01:21:25,542 --> 01:21:27,500 Reality, is that you? 1355 01:21:27,583 --> 01:21:31,458 - Don't fuckin' wind me up. - Moff, it's me, honestly. 1356 01:21:31,542 --> 01:21:33,250 Where the fuck have you been? 1357 01:21:33,333 --> 01:21:36,292 Reality, it's all... It's all gone pear-shaped, mate. I don't... 1358 01:21:38,583 --> 01:21:42,042 I don't trust anybody in this room right now, and they're my best fuckin' friends. 1359 01:21:42,125 --> 01:21:44,167 I mean, Reality, what the fuck is going on? 1360 01:21:44,250 --> 01:21:46,417 What's... What's happening to me, for fuck's sake? 1361 01:21:46,500 --> 01:21:49,792 Moff, you've hammered it too much for too long. 1362 01:21:49,875 --> 01:21:52,750 Knock the drugs on the head. Clear out. 1363 01:21:52,833 --> 01:21:54,250 We can work together. 1364 01:22:19,542 --> 01:22:22,542 - You're a waste of time. - Go away. 1365 01:22:23,667 --> 01:22:26,125 Come on, stay with her, stay with her. 1366 01:22:27,083 --> 01:22:30,458 I don't understand why you can't have sex with me. 1367 01:22:30,542 --> 01:22:31,667 Oh, shut up! 1368 01:22:34,333 --> 01:22:36,542 Come on, come on, Jip. Don't be afraid. 1369 01:22:36,625 --> 01:22:39,083 I've never had that happen to me before. 1370 01:22:39,167 --> 01:22:42,083 Go on. Go with her. Go with her. Move her. 1371 01:22:42,167 --> 01:22:43,500 Move with her. 1372 01:22:43,583 --> 01:22:44,625 Go with him. 1373 01:22:51,417 --> 01:22:53,250 Oh, look at her. She's beautiful. 1374 01:22:54,000 --> 01:22:56,792 - Hello, you. - She's enjoying it. 1375 01:22:57,375 --> 01:22:58,542 Let it go. 1376 01:22:59,458 --> 01:23:01,250 Come on, feel what she's feeling. 1377 01:23:01,333 --> 01:23:02,583 Come on, let it go. 1378 01:23:02,667 --> 01:23:05,042 You wanna be with her. Go with it. 1379 01:23:05,125 --> 01:23:06,542 Let it go. 1380 01:23:07,500 --> 01:23:09,583 Let it go this time, Lu. 1381 01:23:53,750 --> 01:23:55,292 ♪ Ready 1382 01:23:55,375 --> 01:23:56,375 ♪ Steady 1383 01:23:57,167 --> 01:24:00,417 ♪ Go! Pow, pow! Pow, pow! Pow, pow! 1384 01:24:04,375 --> 01:24:06,083 No! No! No! 1385 01:24:07,583 --> 01:24:10,417 Fuckin'... No fuckin' way! 1386 01:24:11,333 --> 01:24:13,042 Oh, for fuck's sake! 1387 01:24:13,750 --> 01:24:16,750 No, no. It was a fucking dream, wasn't it? 1388 01:24:21,958 --> 01:24:23,125 Oi. Bitch! 1389 01:24:26,125 --> 01:24:27,458 Wake up, bitch. 1390 01:24:29,375 --> 01:24:30,625 Come on. 1391 01:24:30,708 --> 01:24:32,500 - Oh, here he is. - Yeah. 1392 01:24:32,583 --> 01:24:35,750 Kickin' chicken. Ah, what's the news, baby pop? 1393 01:24:35,833 --> 01:24:38,375 Uh... 1394 01:24:38,458 --> 01:24:41,292 Life's amazing. Ah! 1395 01:24:41,375 --> 01:24:42,833 Oh! 1396 01:24:42,917 --> 01:24:47,042 ♪ Congratulations and celebrations 1397 01:24:47,125 --> 01:24:49,583 ♪ Cool it, tune it, cool it, baby 1398 01:24:49,667 --> 01:24:51,250 ♪ Cool it, babe ♪ 1399 01:24:52,917 --> 01:24:55,583 Hey, hey! Welcome back to the world of sex, mate. 1400 01:24:55,667 --> 01:24:58,750 Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! 1401 01:24:58,833 --> 01:25:03,000 Once more, I am a fucktioning human being! One more time! 1402 01:25:03,083 --> 01:25:06,625 Look at him, ladies. Live, ladies and gentlemen. He's a star! 1403 01:25:07,875 --> 01:25:11,958 Eh, eh, eh, what the fuck was I worried about, man? 1404 01:25:12,042 --> 01:25:13,417 I told you, man, didn't I? 1405 01:25:13,500 --> 01:25:15,667 Overthinking of the stupid little things, mate. 1406 01:25:15,750 --> 01:25:17,625 Mate, mate. Oh! 1407 01:25:20,542 --> 01:25:23,625 That's the story of my life, man. It's the story of my life. 1408 01:25:23,708 --> 01:25:27,208 Oi, oi. Oi. 1409 01:25:27,292 --> 01:25:28,375 Did she, uh... 1410 01:25:30,000 --> 01:25:31,625 - What? - Did she, uh... 1411 01:25:33,083 --> 01:25:34,625 - What? - You know. 1412 01:25:35,625 --> 01:25:37,667 What? 1413 01:25:37,750 --> 01:25:39,958 What we were talking about the other day, mate. 1414 01:25:40,042 --> 01:25:41,875 - I'm not answering that, man. - Go on. 1415 01:25:41,958 --> 01:25:44,792 No, no. That's disgusting. No, I'm not telling you that. 1416 01:25:44,875 --> 01:25:46,458 - What? - No, mate. 1417 01:25:46,542 --> 01:25:48,958 It's a personal thing between two human beings. 1418 01:25:49,042 --> 01:25:51,125 - Fuck off. - No, forget it. 1419 01:25:51,208 --> 01:25:54,625 - I'm not answering that question. - Shut up. I'm your mate. 1420 01:25:55,833 --> 01:25:57,542 Yeah. 1421 01:25:59,042 --> 01:26:00,667 Big time! 1422 01:26:04,208 --> 01:26:06,875 - Oh! - Go on with your bad self! 1423 01:26:06,958 --> 01:26:08,667 - Bitch! - Bitch. 1424 01:26:08,750 --> 01:26:11,750 - You dirty bitch. - No, I'm telling you. 1425 01:26:11,833 --> 01:26:14,083 It has never happened to me like that before. 1426 01:26:14,167 --> 01:26:17,167 I mean, I've had that, you know, sort of release of pleasure, 1427 01:26:17,250 --> 01:26:18,292 but nothing like this. 1428 01:26:18,375 --> 01:26:21,625 I mean, it just came out of nowhere. I didn't have to concentrate or anything. 1429 01:26:21,708 --> 01:26:25,250 And when it did, fuck me, it was just like... 1430 01:26:25,333 --> 01:26:29,125 Ah! Ah! Ah! 1431 01:26:30,875 --> 01:26:33,125 Oh, it's the most amazing feeling. 1432 01:26:33,208 --> 01:26:34,875 Did your eyes go all blurry? 1433 01:26:34,958 --> 01:26:38,333 Blurry? I went fuckin' blind for about ten minutes. 1434 01:26:38,417 --> 01:26:42,250 And then he started running his finger all over my skin, 1435 01:26:42,333 --> 01:26:44,792 and it went all tingly, and I was shaking all over. 1436 01:26:44,875 --> 01:26:46,958 Oh, it was fucking lush. 1437 01:26:47,917 --> 01:26:49,500 So... 1438 01:26:49,583 --> 01:26:52,625 ♪ How big was his dick? ♪ 1439 01:26:53,625 --> 01:26:55,667 Shut up. I can't tell you that. 1440 01:26:55,750 --> 01:26:56,750 This big. 1441 01:27:00,708 --> 01:27:02,417 But it fits like bric-a-brac. 1442 01:27:02,500 --> 01:27:05,583 It comes out from the root and then goes off to the side with a little twist. 1443 01:27:05,667 --> 01:27:08,292 - Diversive. - It certainly hit the spot. 1444 01:27:19,958 --> 01:27:22,542 Another kid dead from taking ecstasy this week. 1445 01:27:24,167 --> 01:27:27,875 I don't know what possesses them to take it in the first place. 1446 01:27:27,958 --> 01:27:31,083 Some children just don't have the correct upbringing. 1447 01:27:31,167 --> 01:27:35,083 The parents must neglect them, and they turn to drugs as an escape. 1448 01:27:35,167 --> 01:27:38,292 No discipline. No morality. 1449 01:27:40,083 --> 01:27:41,417 No respect. 1450 01:27:42,542 --> 01:27:44,458 I just don't understand the youth of today. 1451 01:27:48,708 --> 01:27:51,833 I just don't understand the youth of today. 1452 01:27:51,917 --> 01:27:55,875 I just don't understand the youth of today. 1453 01:27:59,042 --> 01:28:01,750 - Oh, spot on, mate. Spot on. - No disci... 1454 01:28:01,833 --> 01:28:05,708 No discipline. No morality. 1455 01:28:05,792 --> 01:28:07,208 No respect. 1456 01:28:07,292 --> 01:28:09,583 Some children just don't have the correct upbringing. 1457 01:28:09,667 --> 01:28:12,625 Some children just don't have the correct upbringing. 1458 01:28:12,708 --> 01:28:15,458 - Another kid dead. - Parents must neglect 'em and they... 1459 01:28:15,542 --> 01:28:17,792 - I just don't understand the youth of... - No morality. 1460 01:28:17,875 --> 01:28:19,625 - Drugs as an escape. - No discipline. 1461 01:28:21,208 --> 01:28:24,042 Yeah! We're just some happy fucking sitcom, ain't we? 1462 01:28:24,125 --> 01:28:28,417 Perfect life, perfect family, perfect fucking dining table. 1463 01:28:28,500 --> 01:28:31,250 Well, give yourself a round of applause. Please. 1464 01:28:31,333 --> 01:28:34,042 I swear sometimes we're living on different planets, 1465 01:28:34,125 --> 01:28:37,792 because there is no fucking way of communicating with you all. 1466 01:28:37,875 --> 01:28:40,375 Who the fuck are you people anyway, eh? 1467 01:28:40,458 --> 01:28:42,500 Who the fuck are ya? 1468 01:28:51,042 --> 01:28:54,417 So, how was your weekend, Louise? 1469 01:28:54,500 --> 01:28:57,625 I had a really excellent time, thanks, Auntie Violet. 1470 01:28:57,708 --> 01:28:58,750 What did you do? 1471 01:28:58,833 --> 01:29:02,375 {\an8}Um, we all went to a club on Friday night, 1472 01:29:02,458 --> 01:29:06,167 {\an8}and then we went to Connie's parents' house for a big party. 1473 01:29:06,250 --> 01:29:07,417 How did you get there? 1474 01:29:08,917 --> 01:29:10,458 {\an8}Jip drove us. 1475 01:29:11,500 --> 01:29:12,833 He hadn't been drinking? 1476 01:29:14,292 --> 01:29:17,583 {\an8}No, no. No, he hadn't touched a drop. 1477 01:29:18,667 --> 01:29:20,125 And, uh... 1478 01:29:21,750 --> 01:29:22,792 How is Jip? 1479 01:29:23,583 --> 01:29:26,500 {\an8}He's really, really well. Thanks, Auntie Violet. 1480 01:29:40,417 --> 01:29:42,000 Dah! 1481 01:29:43,792 --> 01:29:44,875 What are they for? 1482 01:29:44,958 --> 01:29:47,500 They're for you, because you deserve it. 1483 01:29:49,625 --> 01:29:50,958 And much, much more. 1484 01:29:53,917 --> 01:29:55,708 Oh, Jip. 1485 01:29:58,583 --> 01:30:00,917 Oh, they're beautiful. You shouldn't have. 1486 01:30:01,000 --> 01:30:02,625 Yeah, I should. 1487 01:30:04,125 --> 01:30:06,500 - What's for dinner? - Wait and see. 1488 01:31:54,625 --> 01:31:56,208 Cunt. 1489 01:32:08,958 --> 01:32:12,625 Listen. Listen, youse. Listen. I really need to tell you something. 1490 01:32:14,458 --> 01:32:16,792 I'm off the drugs big time. 1491 01:32:16,875 --> 01:32:18,750 No, I mean it. No. 1492 01:32:19,583 --> 01:32:21,208 I'm really being serious. 1493 01:32:22,833 --> 01:32:23,708 Listen to me. 1494 01:32:23,792 --> 01:32:28,417 I've had my head up my arse for so long, 1495 01:32:28,500 --> 01:32:30,125 all I can do is... is think shit. 1496 01:32:30,208 --> 01:32:34,042 No, listen to me. I'm... Listen. 1497 01:32:34,125 --> 01:32:37,875 I'm sick of feeling like the advert for a methadone programme. 1498 01:32:37,958 --> 01:32:40,458 - I'm... I'm... It's... - Don't give me that shit. 1499 01:32:40,542 --> 01:32:42,333 The only reason you're off the drugs, right, 1500 01:32:42,417 --> 01:32:43,937 is cos you've fuckin' had 'em all, man. 1501 01:32:45,417 --> 01:32:47,083 Future generations of fuckin' dopeheads 1502 01:32:47,167 --> 01:32:50,792 are gonna have to toke your ashes just to get high, do you know what I mean? 1503 01:32:50,875 --> 01:32:54,625 No, no, I'm really being serious, yeah? I'm... I'm... 1504 01:32:54,708 --> 01:32:57,583 I'm coming apart at the seams, Jip. I'm... 1505 01:32:58,625 --> 01:33:01,333 I'm... I'm dissolving. That's what's happening to me. I'm... I'm... 1506 01:33:01,417 --> 01:33:04,125 I'm dissolving. I'm... I'm... I'm... 1507 01:33:04,208 --> 01:33:05,917 What I'm trying to say is, um... 1508 01:33:07,167 --> 01:33:10,542 Another couple of good pills, and... and that's it for me. 1509 01:33:10,625 --> 01:33:13,667 It's good night, Vienna. I mean, I really feel I'm gonna, uh... 1510 01:33:13,750 --> 01:33:17,083 Oh, it sounds like clubber's comedown chorus to me, sweetheart. 1511 01:33:17,167 --> 01:33:18,542 Yeah, you know it. 1512 01:33:18,625 --> 01:33:21,000 It's not like we're gonna be doing this forever. 1513 01:33:21,083 --> 01:33:23,833 I mean, we'll all get bored of it eventually. 1514 01:33:26,167 --> 01:33:29,750 Hey, when a comedown outweighs the good times, 1515 01:33:29,833 --> 01:33:31,500 you know the party's over, man. 1516 01:33:32,500 --> 01:33:34,542 - Mmm. - I mean, Friday was a classic, yeah? 1517 01:33:34,625 --> 01:33:36,208 - Friday rocked. - Fuckin' hell. 1518 01:33:36,292 --> 01:33:37,417 Classic. 1519 01:33:37,500 --> 01:33:40,792 But I have definitely got to take some time out 1520 01:33:40,875 --> 01:33:43,042 to pick up the pieces, man, and that's that. 1521 01:33:43,125 --> 01:33:44,375 Yeah, fair enough. 1522 01:33:44,458 --> 01:33:46,667 And that's what... That's what I'm saying to ya. 1523 01:33:46,750 --> 01:33:49,958 The honeymoon's over, Koop. It's over. 1524 01:33:50,042 --> 01:33:52,250 It's not fucking worth it. I... I'm... 1525 01:33:53,167 --> 01:33:55,750 That's it for me. I've... I've had me lot. I mean, you know... 1526 01:33:55,833 --> 01:33:58,167 Youse do what you gotta do, but I'm fuckin'... That's it. 1527 01:33:58,250 --> 01:34:01,417 I mean, it's no more drugs for me. That's my lot. That's it. 1528 01:34:08,375 --> 01:34:09,875 Drinks? Anyone? 1529 01:34:09,958 --> 01:34:10,958 Moff? 1530 01:34:12,375 --> 01:34:14,875 I'll have a pint of vodka, mate. Just a little drop of Coke. 1531 01:34:16,000 --> 01:34:19,167 - Packet of Maltesers, yeah? Nice. - Oh, no! 1532 01:34:19,250 --> 01:34:20,958 Oh, dear! 1533 01:34:21,042 --> 01:34:24,917 I can't believe all this time we've been going off with other people, 1534 01:34:25,000 --> 01:34:28,125 looking for the right person and just not finding them. 1535 01:34:28,208 --> 01:34:29,833 I know. It's weird, innit? 1536 01:34:29,917 --> 01:34:34,125 I mean, anything could have happened to change the events of last Friday. 1537 01:34:34,208 --> 01:34:37,292 And it'd just be normal now. It'd be just like... We'd just be friends. 1538 01:34:37,375 --> 01:34:39,792 Oh, no! Don't say that. 1539 01:34:39,875 --> 01:34:43,917 You've always been there, but I've just never thought of you that way. 1540 01:34:44,000 --> 01:34:45,920 And all of a sudden, these past couple of months, 1541 01:34:46,000 --> 01:34:48,458 it's just been like, "Jip? Mmm." 1542 01:34:48,542 --> 01:34:49,625 Mmm. 1543 01:34:51,500 --> 01:34:54,083 God, man. I know exactly when this happened as well. 1544 01:34:54,167 --> 01:34:55,958 - I know exactly when this happened. - When? 1545 01:34:56,042 --> 01:34:58,625 We were round your house, right? It was about three weeks ago. 1546 01:34:58,708 --> 01:35:01,292 We were lying on your bed, we were hugging, we were coming down. 1547 01:35:01,375 --> 01:35:04,083 - Remember? - Oh, yeah! Coming down! Absolutely. 1548 01:35:04,167 --> 01:35:06,250 - We were just keeping it legal. - Barely. 1549 01:35:06,333 --> 01:35:07,792 Yeah, barely. 1550 01:35:07,875 --> 01:35:11,333 Life is full of fucking surprises, man. 1551 01:35:11,417 --> 01:35:13,708 I mean, like, a minute ago, I was thinking, 1552 01:35:13,792 --> 01:35:16,559 "Fuckin' hell. I'm never gonna have sex again for the rest of my life." 1553 01:35:16,583 --> 01:35:19,042 And now I'm thinking, "I'm having the best sex I've ever had 1554 01:35:19,125 --> 01:35:20,625 with somebody I've loved for years." 1555 01:35:20,708 --> 01:35:22,083 Do you know what I mean? 1556 01:35:22,167 --> 01:35:25,208 And, darling, it's only going to get better. 1557 01:35:25,292 --> 01:35:27,958 - Now kiss me. - Darling. 1558 01:35:28,042 --> 01:35:31,042 I'm going to fuck your brains out. 1559 01:35:54,417 --> 01:35:56,917 Well, that's almost it from me and my friends. 1560 01:35:57,000 --> 01:35:58,917 Back to mundane Monday. 1561 01:35:59,000 --> 01:36:03,792 I guess my point is, I think we're all fucked-up in our own way, you know? 1562 01:36:03,875 --> 01:36:05,542 But we're all doing it together. 1563 01:36:05,625 --> 01:36:07,667 We're freestyling on the buckled wheel of life, 1564 01:36:07,750 --> 01:36:10,292 trapped in a world of internal dialogue. 1565 01:36:10,375 --> 01:36:11,958 Like Bill Hicks said, 1566 01:36:12,042 --> 01:36:15,542 "It's an insane world, but I'm proud to be part of it." 1567 01:36:17,167 --> 01:36:18,958 ♪ Come 1568 01:36:19,875 --> 01:36:24,250 ♪ Together as one 1569 01:36:25,875 --> 01:36:29,083 ♪ Come 1570 01:36:30,167 --> 01:36:34,292 ♪ Together as one 1571 01:36:35,958 --> 01:36:39,125 ♪ Come 1572 01:36:40,292 --> 01:36:44,792 ♪ Together as one 1573 01:36:46,167 --> 01:36:49,417 ♪ Come 1574 01:36:50,500 --> 01:36:54,750 ♪ Together as one 1575 01:36:56,250 --> 01:36:57,417 ♪ Come 1576 01:36:57,500 --> 01:36:58,958 ♪ This is a beautiful day 1577 01:37:00,125 --> 01:37:01,792 ♪ It is a new day 1578 01:37:01,875 --> 01:37:05,208 ♪ Together as one 1579 01:37:06,542 --> 01:37:08,042 ♪ Come 1580 01:37:08,125 --> 01:37:10,375 ♪ This is a beautiful day 1581 01:37:11,000 --> 01:37:12,208 ♪ Together 1582 01:37:12,292 --> 01:37:13,375 ♪ It is a new day 1583 01:37:13,458 --> 01:37:15,083 ♪ As one 1584 01:37:16,042 --> 01:37:17,083 ♪ We are together 1585 01:37:17,167 --> 01:37:20,000 ♪ Come 1586 01:37:21,083 --> 01:37:24,208 - ♪ We are together - ♪ Together as one 1587 01:37:24,292 --> 01:37:27,083 ♪ We are unified We are together 1588 01:37:27,167 --> 01:37:30,042 ♪ Come 1589 01:37:31,500 --> 01:37:35,375 ♪ Together as one 1590 01:37:36,958 --> 01:37:39,958 ♪ Cos together we got power 1591 01:37:40,042 --> 01:37:41,958 ♪ Apart we got pow-wow 1592 01:37:42,042 --> 01:37:45,750 ♪ Together as one... ♪ 1593 01:38:15,792 --> 01:38:16,833 ♪ It ain't gonna be me... ♪ 1593 01:38:17,305 --> 01:39:17,917 Do you want subtitles for any video? -=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=-