Hot Shots! Part Deux

1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 2 00:02:07,686 --> 00:02:10,812 Arsenio Hall! 3 00:02:10,906 --> 00:02:13,286 Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! 4 00:02:16,826 --> 00:02:19,911 Team 2 take the prison. We hit the villa. 5 00:02:44,103 --> 00:02:47,605 Little Sister, this is Big Brother, we are in the ballpark. 6 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:04,247 Big Brother, Little Sister, we're at the prison. 7 00:04:04,758 --> 00:04:06,885 Little Sister, this is Big Brother, 8 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,393 Are you in position? 9 00:04:08,462 --> 00:04:09,895 Big Brother, Little Sister, 10 00:04:09,963 --> 00:04:11,590 affirmative. Attack in 30. 11 00:04:12,666 --> 00:04:14,156 Starting now. 12 00:05:07,154 --> 00:05:08,883 It's an ambush. 13 00:05:13,860 --> 00:05:15,503 Alka-Seltzer! 14 00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:24,521 Big Brother, Harbinger. Where are you? 15 00:05:43,716 --> 00:05:46,823 Surrender, Yankee infidels! You have no chance. 16 00:05:47,129 --> 00:05:49,728 Off to prison, American satans. 17 00:06:13,353 --> 00:06:17,776 Good evening. Americans were shocked today by the announcement of the failure 18 00:06:17,789 --> 00:06:21,159 of yet another mission to rescue our hostages from the Middle East. 19 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:25,323 Informed sources reveal that the rescue team itself has been captured 20 00:06:25,574 --> 00:06:27,825 and added to those already being held. 21 00:06:28,134 --> 00:06:32,371 Preliminary reports also indicate that an attempt on the life of a terrorist dictator 22 00:06:32,439 --> 00:06:34,832 was thwarted at the same time. 23 00:06:35,088 --> 00:06:37,088 With the presidential election just 10 days away... 24 00:06:37,243 --> 00:06:39,847 This could be a setback for the white house. 25 00:06:39,972 --> 00:06:41,699 Presidential challenger senator Gray Edwards 26 00:06:42,081 --> 00:06:43,514 campaigning in Chattanooga 27 00:06:43,809 --> 00:06:45,302 commented on the failed mission. 28 00:06:45,511 --> 00:06:47,579 No no no, this is no time for partisan politics. 29 00:06:48,054 --> 00:06:49,287 Bringing our people home 30 00:06:49,455 --> 00:06:51,419 should be the nation's number one priority. 31 00:06:51,767 --> 00:06:56,161 Despite this current crisis the President is putting on his best political face. 32 00:06:56,313 --> 00:06:58,356 Continuing on his campaign schedule 33 00:06:58,607 --> 00:07:01,359 Benson's 20-point lead in the polls 6 months ago 34 00:07:01,610 --> 00:07:04,821 has plummeted since the hostage crisis began. 35 00:07:05,030 --> 00:07:07,323 A CNN/Victoria's secret catalog poll 36 00:07:07,533 --> 00:07:10,660 now has the President and Edwards running neck and neck. 37 00:07:10,810 --> 00:07:14,445 This afternoon, Benson made a brief stop in Fergus falls, Virginia 38 00:07:14,514 --> 00:07:17,281 for the groundbreaking of his Presidential library. 39 00:07:17,835 --> 00:07:20,128 The five living former chief executives... 40 00:07:20,296 --> 00:07:24,048 Presidents Bush, Reagan, Carter, Ford, and Nixon... 41 00:07:24,216 --> 00:07:26,843 Were on hand for this groundbreaking ceremony. 42 00:07:27,027 --> 00:07:30,423 White house correspondent Jeri Kelter reports on this historic moment. 43 00:07:30,723 --> 00:07:32,357 The library is to be built adjacent 44 00:07:32,432 --> 00:07:34,225 to the Fergus falls civic center. 45 00:07:34,683 --> 00:07:36,650 President Benson made no statements 46 00:07:36,652 --> 00:07:37,870 as he went about his business. - My knee! 47 00:07:37,938 --> 00:07:40,372 Publicly, it seemed as though he was unaware 48 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,400 of the political blow he had been dealt. 49 00:07:42,568 --> 00:07:45,459 Privately, aides marveled at his spirit 50 00:07:45,461 --> 00:07:47,804 as he performed his usual morning routine 51 00:07:47,806 --> 00:07:49,626 by milking the white house goats 52 00:07:49,742 --> 00:07:53,166 and finishing a second helping of grapefruit and creamed corn. 53 00:07:53,719 --> 00:07:56,083 Tonight, the President and his top advisors 54 00:07:56,155 --> 00:07:58,015 will be burning the midnight oil. 55 00:07:58,384 --> 00:08:00,301 Sabotage. 56 00:08:00,753 --> 00:08:03,087 My god, man, what does it mean? 57 00:08:03,255 --> 00:08:06,424 We have to tighten security, sir... Find out who's behind it. 58 00:08:06,592 --> 00:08:10,053 No, no, no. The word "sabotage." What's it mean? 59 00:08:10,262 --> 00:08:12,430 It means someone's trying to subvert our mission. Sir, 60 00:08:12,685 --> 00:08:14,987 one of our own people could be working with the enemy. 61 00:08:15,559 --> 00:08:16,809 Come in. 62 00:08:18,771 --> 00:08:20,063 Mr. President. 63 00:08:20,172 --> 00:08:24,092 Jesus! Don't you ever ever sneak up on me like that again. 64 00:08:24,401 --> 00:08:25,401 What is it, Bob? 65 00:08:25,551 --> 00:08:26,846 If Edwards gets wind of this 66 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,520 he'll use it against you in the campaign. 67 00:08:28,521 --> 00:08:30,311 He'll try to prove you're incompetent. 68 00:08:30,390 --> 00:08:32,687 I can prove that as well as he can. 69 00:08:32,859 --> 00:08:34,952 Mr. President, the CIA can't afford another failure. 70 00:08:35,954 --> 00:08:38,539 We want to send colonel Walters to get our people out. 71 00:08:38,749 --> 00:08:41,189 And to insure the mission's success, we'll need Topper Harley. 72 00:08:41,210 --> 00:08:43,419 We've located him in the far east. 73 00:08:43,629 --> 00:08:45,630 Topper Harley. 74 00:08:46,632 --> 00:08:50,218 We've served together before, sir. There's no one better. 75 00:08:52,262 --> 00:08:54,305 Cookie? - Not me, sir. 76 00:08:54,515 --> 00:08:56,766 Young lady? - No, thank you. 77 00:08:56,975 --> 00:08:59,811 No, no, I was just offering him a young lady. 78 00:09:01,689 --> 00:09:03,773 Yeah, Topper Harley. 79 00:09:04,566 --> 00:09:06,734 Good. I love the boy. Kid's got guts. 80 00:09:06,985 --> 00:09:10,238 There isn't a fighting man on this planet that can... 81 00:09:11,448 --> 00:09:13,658 Gotcha! Listening at the door? 82 00:09:13,867 --> 00:09:16,703 Walters, looks like we've got our saboteur. 83 00:09:16,912 --> 00:09:18,204 That's your wife, sir. 84 00:09:19,998 --> 00:09:22,750 Yeah, so it is. 85 00:09:23,377 --> 00:09:27,964 Lavinia. You're looking as lovely as the day we met. 86 00:09:29,174 --> 00:09:30,717 Find out what she knows. 87 00:09:30,926 --> 00:09:33,536 As for you, get me Topper Harley. 88 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:17,754 Gummi bears! 89 00:11:17,824 --> 00:11:20,925 Sprinkles! Gummi bears! 90 00:11:53,626 --> 00:11:56,060 Aisle 5, mezzanine, to your left. 91 00:11:56,129 --> 00:11:58,563 Program! Get you program right here! 92 00:11:58,631 --> 00:12:00,428 One pig snout sandwich. 93 00:12:36,862 --> 00:12:39,530 Both fighters are starting to show serious signs of fatigue. 94 00:12:39,740 --> 00:12:42,380 They aren't moving around the ring as much. They're walking around. 95 00:12:42,576 --> 00:12:45,244 This is where your conditioning pays off. 96 00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:20,571 Coochie-coochie-coo. Coochie-goo. 97 00:13:37,673 --> 00:13:38,923 You win! 98 00:13:44,471 --> 00:13:48,474 Topper... 99 00:13:48,684 --> 00:13:50,184 Topper Harley! 100 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:25,928 Topper. 101 00:14:27,764 --> 00:14:28,973 I don't believe it. 102 00:14:31,476 --> 00:14:33,477 Topper. - Colonel. 103 00:14:33,937 --> 00:14:37,231 Good to see you again. - Yeah, you too. 104 00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:39,233 You want to tell me about it? 105 00:14:40,652 --> 00:14:42,653 They let me live here. 106 00:14:43,196 --> 00:14:45,156 I help out fixing things. 107 00:14:45,407 --> 00:14:48,075 It's peaceful. Quiet. 108 00:14:51,455 --> 00:14:53,497 No one is allowed to talk. 109 00:14:53,957 --> 00:14:56,917 And that dim sum fighting in the warehouse yesterday? 110 00:14:57,127 --> 00:14:59,086 I just do that for the extra money. 111 00:14:59,296 --> 00:15:02,548 And to satisfy my male cravings to kill and win. 112 00:15:03,884 --> 00:15:05,801 Colonel, who are they? 113 00:15:06,970 --> 00:15:08,429 She's CIA. 114 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,598 The other man's an extra. 115 00:15:11,391 --> 00:15:12,725 What does she do? 116 00:15:12,976 --> 00:15:15,311 Heads up covert operations in the Middle East... 117 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,229 Reports directly to President Benson. 118 00:15:17,439 --> 00:15:20,691 Colonel, these men have taken a supreme vow of celibacy. 119 00:15:21,109 --> 00:15:23,569 Like their fathers and their fathers before them. 120 00:15:23,779 --> 00:15:25,988 They haven't seen a woman in decades. 121 00:15:26,198 --> 00:15:27,698 Miss Huddleston! 122 00:15:30,827 --> 00:15:33,037 This is Michelle Huddleston. 123 00:15:33,288 --> 00:15:34,371 Topper Harley. 124 00:15:34,581 --> 00:15:35,623 Pleasure. 125 00:15:35,749 --> 00:15:38,709 You're sure not easy to find. - Why are you keeping track? 126 00:15:38,919 --> 00:15:40,419 It's like the colonel says, 127 00:15:40,670 --> 00:15:42,880 good men are hard to find. 128 00:15:43,381 --> 00:15:46,217 I don't know how much you know about what went on after the last war, 129 00:15:46,426 --> 00:15:48,886 but several of our men were missing in action. 130 00:15:49,096 --> 00:15:52,223 Since then on two occasions we sent in squads to rescue those men. 131 00:15:52,432 --> 00:15:53,557 Both missions failed. 132 00:15:53,725 --> 00:15:57,603 Now we have to go in to get the men who went in to get the men who went in to get the men. 133 00:15:57,854 --> 00:16:01,398 My job is to make sure we don't fail again. - What's this got to do with me? 134 00:16:01,608 --> 00:16:02,858 I'm going this time. 135 00:16:04,069 --> 00:16:06,737 We want you to go with him Topper. - Why me, ma'am? 136 00:16:06,905 --> 00:16:08,697 Because you're the best of what's left. 137 00:16:10,742 --> 00:16:12,409 My war is over. 138 00:16:23,088 --> 00:16:24,797 This will cost you a few extra dollars... 139 00:16:25,006 --> 00:16:27,800 But you'll make that back and more on your heating bill this winter. 140 00:16:28,301 --> 00:16:31,428 Later we're gonna be caulking the ashram if you want to stop by. 141 00:16:31,638 --> 00:16:32,930 Thanks, Bob. 142 00:16:36,601 --> 00:16:40,437 This mission's important Topper. We've got to take care of our people. 143 00:16:40,856 --> 00:16:42,314 Come with me. 144 00:16:45,318 --> 00:16:48,154 When are you gonna put Ramada behind you? 145 00:16:48,947 --> 00:16:51,949 What are you talking about? - You say your war is over. 146 00:16:52,951 --> 00:16:56,162 Maybe the one out there is, but not the one inside you. 147 00:16:56,371 --> 00:16:59,456 You running away from the pain but it won't solve anything. 148 00:16:59,666 --> 00:17:02,793 Because wherever you go, you take the pain with you. 149 00:17:02,961 --> 00:17:05,838 You've come an awful long way to bring me a lecture haven't you colonel 150 00:17:06,047 --> 00:17:08,299 I know you were hurt when that woman left... 151 00:17:08,466 --> 00:17:11,343 But you're using that to hide from who you are. 152 00:17:11,553 --> 00:17:14,013 That was a long time ago. - Thank you. Next! 153 00:17:14,222 --> 00:17:15,639 I don't want it. 154 00:17:16,474 --> 00:17:18,184 Nice butt. 155 00:17:19,561 --> 00:17:22,188 Topper, let me tell you a little story. 156 00:17:22,564 --> 00:17:24,857 It seems there were three bears. 157 00:17:25,066 --> 00:17:28,402 And one morning when their porridge was too hot they went for a walk... 158 00:17:28,653 --> 00:17:31,572 A little blond girl came skipping through the woods 159 00:17:31,823 --> 00:17:34,867 and she ate their porridge and she sat in their chairs 160 00:17:35,076 --> 00:17:36,660 and she slept in their beds. 161 00:17:36,828 --> 00:17:40,331 And when those bears returned and discovered that mess... 162 00:17:40,582 --> 00:17:43,584 Do you know what happened then, Topper? - No. 163 00:17:43,835 --> 00:17:47,171 That little blond girl got scared. 164 00:17:48,423 --> 00:17:49,506 Ran away. 165 00:17:49,674 --> 00:17:53,510 So, what you're saying is, that little blond girl is me. 166 00:17:55,388 --> 00:17:57,097 If this is about me coloring my hair... 167 00:17:57,349 --> 00:18:00,351 Topper, they didn't make you this fighting machine. 168 00:18:00,936 --> 00:18:04,021 They just cooked up the porridge and went for a walk. 169 00:18:04,231 --> 00:18:07,358 And you'll never stop running until you face your three bears, 170 00:18:08,860 --> 00:18:10,027 Ramada. 171 00:18:12,197 --> 00:18:13,572 Colonel. 172 00:18:14,366 --> 00:18:15,532 I'm sorry. 173 00:18:15,700 --> 00:18:17,576 It has to end for me sometime. 174 00:18:17,869 --> 00:18:19,870 If you should change your mind, 175 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:21,622 here's my 900 number. 176 00:18:21,873 --> 00:18:24,917 It's $5 a minute. I'll waive the charges. 177 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,717 Your three bears... 178 00:18:36,054 --> 00:18:37,429 Ramada. 179 00:18:40,681 --> 00:18:43,681 [Innamorata] 180 00:19:00,745 --> 00:19:05,582 ♪ If our lips should meet, innamorata 181 00:19:06,418 --> 00:19:08,085 Don Corleone... 182 00:19:08,211 --> 00:19:12,965 ♪ Kiss me, kiss me sweet, innamorata 183 00:19:15,093 --> 00:19:19,888 ♪ Hold me close and say goodnight 184 00:19:22,142 --> 00:19:27,271 ♪ With a love as warm as wine 185 00:19:29,274 --> 00:19:34,862 ♪ I'm at heaven's door, innamorata 186 00:19:36,573 --> 00:19:41,660 ♪ Want you more and more, innamorata 187 00:19:43,496 --> 00:19:46,040 ♪ You're a symphony 188 00:19:46,458 --> 00:19:51,628 ♪ A very beautiful sonata, my innamorata 189 00:19:52,297 --> 00:19:57,801 ♪ Say that you're my sweetheart, my love 190 00:20:28,291 --> 00:20:30,918 ♪ You're a symphony 191 00:20:31,044 --> 00:20:36,465 ♪ A very beautiful sonata, my innamorata 192 00:20:37,175 --> 00:20:42,971 ♪ Say that you're my sweetheart, my love 193 00:20:46,434 --> 00:20:49,228 What's wrong, kid? 194 00:20:50,897 --> 00:20:53,232 I love you so much. 195 00:20:53,525 --> 00:20:57,403 But it's such a crazy world. I just don't want anything to happen to us. 196 00:20:57,612 --> 00:20:58,904 Don't worry. 197 00:20:59,197 --> 00:21:02,199 In a couple of days, we'll be on the train to Hawaii. 198 00:21:02,367 --> 00:21:06,036 We'll find a minister who will marry us, and we'll never be apart again. 199 00:21:06,204 --> 00:21:08,872 But if something should keep us apart? 200 00:21:09,082 --> 00:21:12,543 If one of us can't make it to Blenheim train station? 201 00:21:12,752 --> 00:21:14,294 Like, for instance, 202 00:21:14,546 --> 00:21:17,381 if something came up unexpectedly. 203 00:21:17,590 --> 00:21:21,593 Not that I think it would. Or it already has. 204 00:21:21,886 --> 00:21:25,556 Wherever I'll be, I want you to know that... 205 00:21:32,147 --> 00:21:33,897 Kiss me. 206 00:21:34,482 --> 00:21:37,401 Kiss me like you've never kissed me before. 207 00:21:54,919 --> 00:21:59,089 You will denounce the criminal acts against our people by your President. 208 00:21:59,257 --> 00:22:02,634 Sign here, initial here, here, and here. 209 00:22:13,021 --> 00:22:14,271 Phil! 210 00:22:30,330 --> 00:22:32,122 Sign the document. 211 00:23:00,485 --> 00:23:03,028 I see you're no stranger to pain. 212 00:23:03,238 --> 00:23:04,321 I've been married. 213 00:23:06,157 --> 00:23:08,325 Twice. 214 00:23:18,002 --> 00:23:22,339 Like the previous six, this victim was found folded neatly in half 215 00:23:22,757 --> 00:23:25,842 and placed inside the glove compartment of a sanitation truck. 216 00:23:26,010 --> 00:23:27,928 Police are baffled. 217 00:23:28,179 --> 00:23:29,429 This just in. 218 00:23:29,681 --> 00:23:33,016 Presidential military adviser Colonel Denton Walters 219 00:23:33,226 --> 00:23:37,187 has been captured during an aborted attempt to free our hostages. 220 00:23:37,397 --> 00:23:40,524 This tape was delivered to us just moments ago. 221 00:23:40,692 --> 00:23:42,943 They are treating me good here. 222 00:23:43,861 --> 00:23:46,363 The food is tasty and nourishing. 223 00:23:46,781 --> 00:23:49,032 The peace-loving leader of this great country 224 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,785 has asked me to appeal to you, President Benson, 225 00:23:52,036 --> 00:23:56,540 to stop your vicious, imperialistic tactics around the globe. 226 00:24:12,223 --> 00:24:15,142 Ladies and gentlemen, please rise and give a warm welcome 227 00:24:15,393 --> 00:24:18,145 to His Excellency, the Prime Minister of Japan 228 00:24:18,396 --> 00:24:21,732 Masahiru Soto and Mrs. Soto. 229 00:24:25,653 --> 00:24:29,239 The President of the United States, Thomas Benson. 230 00:24:30,575 --> 00:24:34,661 Mr. President, this is Prime Minister Masahiru Soto and Mrs. Soto. 231 00:24:35,246 --> 00:24:37,664 President Benson, where's your first lady? 232 00:24:37,915 --> 00:24:41,960 Hell, I don't know. I've had lots of women. Lost my flower at the tender age of 15. 233 00:24:42,170 --> 00:24:43,503 I can't keep track of all. 234 00:24:43,755 --> 00:24:46,389 Let's get this over with. I'm not feeling so well today. 235 00:24:46,499 --> 00:24:49,676 My intestines were removed during action in the North Atlantic. 236 00:24:49,927 --> 00:24:51,710 Took a torpedo in the lower abdomen. 237 00:24:51,710 --> 00:24:54,598 And they replaced every foot of my bowel with hemp. 238 00:24:54,599 --> 00:24:57,623 Clogs easily. - I hope you feel better. 239 00:24:57,769 --> 00:24:59,686 My lips to yours. 240 00:25:09,364 --> 00:25:13,283 The junior senator from Minnesota, Gray Edwards. 241 00:25:13,785 --> 00:25:16,787 President Benson, Prime Minister Soto, 242 00:25:16,954 --> 00:25:18,622 ladies and gentlemen. 243 00:25:18,831 --> 00:25:21,958 Tonight we put election politics aside as I join you 244 00:25:22,168 --> 00:25:26,838 in my duties as majority whip and chairman of the Foreign Affairs Committee 245 00:25:27,131 --> 00:25:29,549 in welcoming the Japanese prime minister 246 00:25:29,801 --> 00:25:33,553 and his lovely wife to these United States. 247 00:25:34,347 --> 00:25:37,307 Our two great nations have begun 248 00:25:37,517 --> 00:25:40,185 what we hope will be a long and successful dialogue. 249 00:25:43,481 --> 00:25:46,066 Not only... - I don't remember eating that. 250 00:25:46,651 --> 00:25:49,319 I feel better now. It's that raw fish odor. 251 00:25:49,487 --> 00:25:50,529 It makes... 252 00:25:50,738 --> 00:25:52,239 God. 253 00:25:59,247 --> 00:26:02,499 Look at that! Those my teeth? 254 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,502 Only to continue in the highest spirit... 255 00:26:05,753 --> 00:26:08,296 Yeah. They're filthy! 256 00:26:08,381 --> 00:26:11,675 And so I would like to propose a toast. 257 00:26:12,510 --> 00:26:15,345 Thank you, Yoko. - I'll take that, sir. 258 00:26:15,513 --> 00:26:17,264 To world peace. 259 00:26:17,932 --> 00:26:20,016 To a clean environment. 260 00:26:20,852 --> 00:26:25,021 To harmony with our planet and world prosperity. 261 00:26:29,360 --> 00:26:30,861 Thank you. 262 00:26:34,574 --> 00:26:36,867 Looking for a place to sit, lieutenant? 263 00:26:37,869 --> 00:26:40,871 No. I need to speak to the President. Can you arrange that? 264 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:44,583 You'd be amazed what I can do. - It's my fault they got Walters. 265 00:26:44,792 --> 00:26:46,042 I want to go in. 266 00:26:46,210 --> 00:26:49,212 You showed up just in time. We're leaving in the morning. 267 00:26:49,422 --> 00:26:52,480 You should know I'm taking personal charge of this mission. 268 00:26:52,481 --> 00:26:54,134 I hope you don't mind working under a woman. 269 00:26:54,135 --> 00:26:57,763 And now, the President of the United States, Thomas Benson. 270 00:27:02,477 --> 00:27:05,061 Prime Minister Tojo, Senator Edwards, 271 00:27:05,313 --> 00:27:09,441 my fellow Americans, and our millions of illegal aliens. 272 00:27:09,776 --> 00:27:12,944 It seems like only yesterday I was strafing so many of your homes. 273 00:27:13,237 --> 00:27:16,740 And here I am today, begging you not to make such good cars. 274 00:27:16,949 --> 00:27:19,075 Excuse me, just a second, I need a glass of water. 275 00:27:19,285 --> 00:27:21,912 Damn tongue's gone dry. It's not mine, you know. 276 00:27:22,121 --> 00:27:24,915 Lost mine in Laos. Little commie kid lopped it right off. 277 00:27:25,082 --> 00:27:29,252 It's probably a doorstop somewhere, for all I know. Got this one from a basset hound. 278 00:27:32,173 --> 00:27:33,590 Get the car. 279 00:27:34,926 --> 00:27:36,468 President Benson. 280 00:27:37,970 --> 00:27:39,179 No, you're not. 281 00:27:39,263 --> 00:27:41,783 I've seen him on television. He's an older man, about my height. 282 00:27:41,933 --> 00:27:44,017 Sir, this is Topper Harley. 283 00:27:44,644 --> 00:27:47,103 Topper. Yes, of course. Son I never had. 284 00:27:47,313 --> 00:27:50,315 No damn wonder I didn't recognize you, then. 285 00:27:50,525 --> 00:27:53,819 Word of advice, don't go around calling yourself the President 286 00:27:54,028 --> 00:27:57,364 I wouldn't do that and I don't think you should either, just doesn't hold water. 287 00:27:57,615 --> 00:28:01,785 For that matter, neither do I. Let's get away from these power cables. 288 00:28:03,120 --> 00:28:06,623 Sir, I'd like to join the next mission. - God bless you, boy. 289 00:28:06,833 --> 00:28:08,153 We're keeping this one on the QT. 290 00:28:08,292 --> 00:28:11,795 We're calling it secret mission to go in and get Walters and our boys back. 291 00:28:12,004 --> 00:28:15,632 Son, when you come back, I'm going to throw you wonderful guys a party 292 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,510 the likes of which you've never seen. And there should be plenty to eat. 293 00:28:18,511 --> 00:28:21,137 I doubt more than half of you will return. 294 00:28:26,185 --> 00:28:27,394 Thank you. 295 00:28:28,646 --> 00:28:30,647 Got a light, lieutenant? 296 00:28:30,815 --> 00:28:32,649 I quit smoking. 297 00:28:32,900 --> 00:28:35,151 Besides, I don't think they allow it in here. 298 00:28:35,361 --> 00:28:38,488 What are they gonna do, arrest me for smoking? 299 00:28:49,333 --> 00:28:54,170 I know what to get you for Christmas. - Make it a Thighmaster. I've broken my last three. 300 00:28:54,380 --> 00:28:55,422 Really? 301 00:28:55,673 --> 00:28:58,884 Let's go to my apartment and discuss our mission. 302 00:28:59,093 --> 00:29:00,886 I'm putty in your hands. 303 00:29:01,762 --> 00:29:04,347 In my hands, nothing turns to putty. 304 00:32:36,665 --> 00:32:37,665 Yippee! 305 00:32:37,733 --> 00:32:40,531 Yahoo! Yippee-kai-ai-yay! 306 00:32:45,774 --> 00:32:49,403 And in an emotional address at the state capital, 307 00:32:49,478 --> 00:32:52,413 Nebraska governor Paul Burmaster made a public apology 308 00:32:52,481 --> 00:32:55,314 for his state being so flat. 309 00:33:03,726 --> 00:33:06,320 Where are you? 310 00:33:06,395 --> 00:33:08,124 I don't know. 311 00:33:08,197 --> 00:33:10,165 What's wrong? 312 00:33:10,232 --> 00:33:12,928 My arm's asleep. 313 00:33:13,002 --> 00:33:15,266 No, something else. 314 00:33:15,337 --> 00:33:18,067 My leg, too. 315 00:33:18,140 --> 00:33:20,608 No, please, you can tell me. 316 00:33:22,311 --> 00:33:23,243 Well... 317 00:33:23,312 --> 00:33:24,609 Topper? 318 00:33:26,248 --> 00:33:27,909 I have to wee-wee. 319 00:33:29,852 --> 00:33:31,080 Look, I told myself 320 00:33:31,153 --> 00:33:34,714 last night was just going to be last night. 321 00:33:34,790 --> 00:33:38,123 I guess I never counted on finding a guy so deep, 322 00:33:38,194 --> 00:33:39,456 so sensitive. 323 00:33:41,463 --> 00:33:43,260 I've fallen for you, Topper. 324 00:33:43,332 --> 00:33:45,766 I've fallen for you big time. 325 00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:53,705 There's someone else, isn't there? 326 00:33:55,878 --> 00:33:57,470 No idea what you mean. 327 00:33:58,781 --> 00:34:00,806 Women sense these things, Topper. 328 00:34:00,883 --> 00:34:03,010 I said there's no one. 329 00:34:04,987 --> 00:34:06,318 I'm fine. 330 00:34:06,388 --> 00:34:09,323 I know about Ramada, Topper. I read your dossier. 331 00:34:09,391 --> 00:34:11,723 She must be quite a woman. 332 00:34:14,230 --> 00:34:15,697 And what if she was? 333 00:34:17,166 --> 00:34:18,166 Was? 334 00:34:22,238 --> 00:34:24,172 Last call for train 590 335 00:34:24,240 --> 00:34:27,038 for Glendale, San Francisco, and Honolulu. 336 00:34:27,109 --> 00:34:28,906 Board! 337 00:34:34,416 --> 00:34:37,146 I told you! Warned you twice! 338 00:34:42,358 --> 00:34:43,882 Harley! 339 00:34:43,959 --> 00:34:45,722 Topper Harley? 340 00:34:45,794 --> 00:34:46,794 Over here. 341 00:34:58,807 --> 00:35:02,243 I cannot go with you or ever see you again. 342 00:35:02,311 --> 00:35:04,279 Just believe that I love you. 343 00:35:04,346 --> 00:35:06,610 You must be brave, my darling. 344 00:35:06,682 --> 00:35:09,674 This card is printed on recycled paper. 345 00:35:41,450 --> 00:35:43,975 Sergeant, pick that up! Someone could trip over it. 346 00:35:54,463 --> 00:35:56,260 Which one of you is Michelle Huddleston? 347 00:35:57,800 --> 00:35:58,800 She is. 348 00:35:59,968 --> 00:36:01,026 I'm glad you're here. 349 00:36:01,103 --> 00:36:03,094 We just learned the hostages are being moved. 350 00:36:03,172 --> 00:36:05,470 I'm commander Arvid Harbinger. I'm running this show. 351 00:36:05,541 --> 00:36:07,372 I'm sorry, commander. Presidential orders. 352 00:36:07,443 --> 00:36:10,571 Lieutenant Harley and I are in charge now. 353 00:36:10,646 --> 00:36:12,079 Any questions? 354 00:36:12,147 --> 00:36:13,705 No, ma'am. 355 00:36:15,250 --> 00:36:18,413 Harley. I've been there. 356 00:36:18,487 --> 00:36:19,681 I've seen the enemy. 357 00:36:19,755 --> 00:36:21,723 If you're not ready, you won't make it. 358 00:36:21,790 --> 00:36:23,758 I've fired a couple of guns. 359 00:36:25,594 --> 00:36:28,461 I'll assemble the men, with your permission. 360 00:36:33,402 --> 00:36:34,596 Gentlemen... 361 00:36:34,670 --> 00:36:38,299 Ms. Huddleston, CIA, and Lieutenant Topper Harley. 362 00:36:38,374 --> 00:36:39,636 We're working for them. 363 00:36:39,708 --> 00:36:40,936 Williams... 364 00:36:41,010 --> 00:36:44,377 Com sync pac ram set MOS 92-H tact op spec patty-wack. 365 00:36:44,646 --> 00:36:45,674 Paddywhack? 366 00:36:45,748 --> 00:36:47,010 Give a dog a bone, sir. 367 00:36:47,082 --> 00:36:48,845 Of course. 368 00:36:48,918 --> 00:36:50,249 Rabinowitz, demolition. 369 00:36:50,319 --> 00:36:52,617 I'm looking forward to blowing something up for you, sir. 370 00:36:52,688 --> 00:36:54,588 I'm looking forward to your explosions. 371 00:36:54,657 --> 00:36:57,387 Gentlemen, Commander Harbinger has just advised me 372 00:36:57,459 --> 00:36:59,393 that we have 11 hours to free the prisoners. 373 00:36:59,461 --> 00:37:02,862 After that, we may lose them forever. 374 00:37:02,932 --> 00:37:05,264 This is the prison camp area. 375 00:37:05,334 --> 00:37:06,494 It is heavily fortified... 376 00:37:06,569 --> 00:37:09,003 But they'll never expect an attack from the jungle. 377 00:37:09,071 --> 00:37:11,767 Your contact, code name Bench Press... 378 00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:13,808 Will lead you to the camp. 379 00:37:13,876 --> 00:37:16,310 I'll be there to meet you at the rendezvous point. 380 00:37:16,378 --> 00:37:17,743 Good luck. 381 00:37:22,685 --> 00:37:23,685 Topper! 382 00:37:27,323 --> 00:37:29,814 Topper, I know we haven't had much time together, 383 00:37:29,892 --> 00:37:32,326 but when you go into battle, 384 00:37:32,394 --> 00:37:35,329 I'd like you to take something of mine with you. 385 00:37:39,468 --> 00:37:40,901 Your lucky mole. 386 00:38:39,628 --> 00:38:41,027 Topper. 387 00:38:41,096 --> 00:38:42,563 What are you reading? 388 00:38:42,631 --> 00:38:43,859 "Great Expectations". 389 00:38:43,932 --> 00:38:45,229 Is it any good? 390 00:38:45,300 --> 00:38:47,894 It's not all I hoped for. 391 00:38:47,970 --> 00:38:50,837 Know what I'm going to do if we make it? 392 00:38:50,906 --> 00:38:53,841 I'm going to go back to Eagle River 393 00:38:53,909 --> 00:38:56,309 and marry my gal Edith May. 394 00:38:56,378 --> 00:38:58,744 Gonna get us a nice little place 395 00:38:58,814 --> 00:39:01,908 with a white picket fence... You know the kind... 396 00:39:01,984 --> 00:39:06,148 Two-car garage, maybe a fishing boat. 397 00:39:06,221 --> 00:39:09,315 And in 15 years, when they're all paid for... 398 00:39:09,391 --> 00:39:12,986 I'll set my charges, blow the shit out of them. 399 00:39:15,464 --> 00:39:16,897 You got a girl, Topper? 400 00:39:21,203 --> 00:39:23,194 Penny to Sky King, no parents in sight. 401 00:39:23,272 --> 00:39:24,534 Party is on. 402 00:39:25,708 --> 00:39:26,936 Green... 403 00:39:27,009 --> 00:39:28,033 Hook up! 404 00:39:35,851 --> 00:39:37,148 Geronimo! 405 00:39:38,620 --> 00:39:40,611 Geronimo! 406 00:39:43,025 --> 00:39:44,390 Me! 407 00:40:33,809 --> 00:40:34,809 Thanks, brothers. 408 00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:38,331 Jeez. 409 00:41:52,054 --> 00:41:53,054 Stop it. 410 00:41:59,895 --> 00:42:00,827 Ramada. 411 00:42:00,896 --> 00:42:02,420 Topper. 412 00:42:02,497 --> 00:42:03,623 What are you doing here? 413 00:42:03,699 --> 00:42:05,132 This is Bench Press, our contact. 414 00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:06,633 I didn't know. 415 00:42:06,702 --> 00:42:08,329 You know each other? 416 00:42:08,403 --> 00:42:10,633 Yes, we do. 417 00:42:10,706 --> 00:42:12,901 It's been a long time. 418 00:42:12,975 --> 00:42:15,409 Let's see. The last time we met... 419 00:42:15,477 --> 00:42:17,035 Was the Flurvian Sea. 420 00:42:17,112 --> 00:42:18,773 You remembered. 421 00:42:18,847 --> 00:42:20,712 I remember every detail. 422 00:42:20,782 --> 00:42:23,910 The sky was blue. You wore gray. 423 00:42:23,986 --> 00:42:25,681 I was in chiffon. 424 00:42:25,754 --> 00:42:28,723 Topper, there's so much to say. 425 00:42:28,790 --> 00:42:31,953 You're as beautiful as the day you dumped me. 426 00:42:32,027 --> 00:42:33,494 You've changed. 427 00:42:35,364 --> 00:42:36,854 That beauty mark. 428 00:42:40,102 --> 00:42:42,730 It was a gift. 429 00:42:42,804 --> 00:42:46,433 It's all very touching, but this is no time to reminisce. 430 00:42:46,508 --> 00:42:49,443 We have to be at the rendezvous point in seven hours, 431 00:42:49,511 --> 00:42:50,842 or else we miss our pick-up. 432 00:42:50,913 --> 00:42:53,143 It's your show, hero. 433 00:42:54,616 --> 00:42:56,049 Let's move out. 434 00:42:57,185 --> 00:42:58,185 Follow me. 435 00:43:08,230 --> 00:43:09,390 We're late. 436 00:43:09,464 --> 00:43:11,193 I know a shortcut. 437 00:43:17,367 --> 00:43:19,368 The meat's smoking. - Shut up. 438 00:43:19,536 --> 00:43:22,413 Let's take it off the grill. - Leave me alone, would ya, 439 00:43:22,622 --> 00:43:25,416 Frank, you're drunk again. - Whose fault is that? 440 00:43:30,547 --> 00:43:33,299 This is the best way to the prison compound. 441 00:43:33,550 --> 00:43:36,260 They're used to seeing fishing boats so they won't be suspicious. 442 00:43:36,470 --> 00:43:38,929 There are clothes in the wheelhouse. 443 00:43:40,599 --> 00:43:44,399 <i>Somebody once wrote, "Hell is the impossibility of reason."</i> 444 00:43:45,145 --> 00:43:48,399 <i>That's what this place feels like. Hell.</i> 445 00:43:48,565 --> 00:43:51,444 <i>I hate it already, and it's only been a few hours.</i> 446 00:43:51,651 --> 00:43:53,949 <i>I'm so tired. We get up at 5:00...</i> 447 00:43:54,154 --> 00:43:57,249 <i>At first I thought they'd handed me the wrong dossier.</i> 448 00:43:57,407 --> 00:43:59,785 <i>I couldn't believe they wanted him dead.</i> 449 00:43:59,993 --> 00:44:02,917 <i>Third generation West Point. Top of his class.</i> 450 00:44:03,121 --> 00:44:04,794 <i>Korea, Airborne,</i> 451 00:44:04,998 --> 00:44:08,969 <i>about a thousand decorations, et cetera, et cetera.</i> 452 00:44:11,755 --> 00:44:14,258 I loved you in <i>Wall Street!</i> 453 00:44:29,645 --> 00:44:32,045 Satellite reconnaissance indicates an enemy patrol boat 454 00:44:32,115 --> 00:44:34,075 has changed course and is heading for our people. 455 00:44:34,694 --> 00:44:36,111 Send the alert. 456 00:44:37,948 --> 00:44:40,282 Hello, Lucky. Report my signal. 457 00:44:40,450 --> 00:44:41,997 <i>Report my signal. Over.</i> 458 00:44:42,202 --> 00:44:45,120 Hello, George Mike Walters. Strength three. Over. 459 00:44:45,288 --> 00:44:49,291 <i>Recon reports Indians on the Warpath in your area. Over.</i> 460 00:44:49,501 --> 00:44:50,901 Ain't no Indians around here. Over. 461 00:44:51,461 --> 00:44:54,630 Do not take literally. Repeat. Do not take literally. 462 00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:57,508 The vultures are circling the carcass. Repeat. 463 00:45:00,470 --> 00:45:02,304 I see a couple of gulls, but... 464 00:45:02,472 --> 00:45:05,641 The pit bull is out of the cage. The crips are raiding the liquor store. 465 00:45:07,477 --> 00:45:09,061 You yanking my crank? 466 00:45:21,741 --> 00:45:24,910 If they come by and see a woman, they will know we are masquerading. 467 00:45:25,161 --> 00:45:27,705 Only men are allowed to do the fishing. 468 00:45:32,878 --> 00:45:34,503 Topper. 469 00:45:34,838 --> 00:45:37,006 Why did you have to come here now? 470 00:45:37,424 --> 00:45:40,175 Of all the missions in all the jungles in all the world 471 00:45:40,385 --> 00:45:43,512 you had to walk into this one. Topper, I tried to stay away. 472 00:45:43,722 --> 00:45:47,433 I thought I'd never see you again, that you were out of my life. 473 00:45:47,684 --> 00:45:49,685 But it's a sequel. I had to come. 474 00:45:49,853 --> 00:45:52,062 Do you know any idea what the critics will say? 475 00:45:52,272 --> 00:45:55,399 "Same warmed-over characters..." - Topper, stop it. 476 00:45:55,609 --> 00:45:59,528 You're only using this whole casting thing as an excuse 477 00:45:59,738 --> 00:46:01,363 to hide what's really hurting you. 478 00:46:01,865 --> 00:46:05,117 Hurt? Maybe. Once. 479 00:46:06,244 --> 00:46:08,454 But I knew this day would come. 480 00:46:08,914 --> 00:46:11,123 I knew one day you'd come crawling back 481 00:46:11,374 --> 00:46:14,877 begging for forgiveness. Groveling, sniveling, 482 00:46:15,086 --> 00:46:17,630 pleading for another chance. 483 00:46:17,881 --> 00:46:22,593 Sorry, sweetheart, but this all-day sucker is down to the soggy white stick. 484 00:46:22,802 --> 00:46:25,638 No, Topper, you don't understand. 485 00:46:26,473 --> 00:46:30,225 I'm married. I was married before you and I ever met. 486 00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:31,977 I'm still married today. 487 00:46:32,228 --> 00:46:33,896 You're joking. - I'm not. 488 00:46:34,064 --> 00:46:36,899 You've got to be. - Look if I was joking I would say, 489 00:46:37,108 --> 00:46:41,070 "A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Why the long face?'" 490 00:46:41,279 --> 00:46:43,072 You are married. 491 00:46:43,448 --> 00:46:46,408 Why didn't you tell me? - I thought he was dead. 492 00:46:46,618 --> 00:46:49,828 He worked for the government, training pilots for the CIA in Germany. 493 00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:51,163 Highest security. 494 00:46:51,414 --> 00:46:53,832 They told me he was killed over Villenstuben. 495 00:46:54,084 --> 00:46:55,964 Then the day before you and I were to go away, 496 00:46:56,127 --> 00:46:59,338 I received word he was alive, in a hospital in Berlin. 497 00:47:00,173 --> 00:47:01,840 I had to go to him. 498 00:47:02,092 --> 00:47:04,468 They ordered me not to tell anyone. 499 00:47:06,471 --> 00:47:09,765 I know how you must feel. - You do? 500 00:47:10,100 --> 00:47:12,685 You know how it feels to have your heart shot out of the seat 501 00:47:12,936 --> 00:47:14,603 and strapped to the hood of a car 502 00:47:14,854 --> 00:47:17,356 to be passed like the world's large kidney stone? 503 00:47:17,941 --> 00:47:19,483 Ramada, 504 00:47:19,776 --> 00:47:21,151 I don't think so. 505 00:47:24,447 --> 00:47:26,031 Patrol boat! 506 00:47:30,996 --> 00:47:34,832 Remember, we're not American. These boys aren't stupid. 507 00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:47,011 Where's Harbinger? 508 00:47:47,220 --> 00:47:48,804 Shut off your engine. 509 00:47:50,181 --> 00:47:52,391 Shut off your engine. We are coming aboard. 510 00:47:52,770 --> 00:47:54,623 <i>Any of you guys speak English?</i> 511 00:47:56,092 --> 00:47:57,929 <i>Any of you guys speak English?</i> 512 00:48:00,545 --> 00:48:02,839 <i>Sorry. We're ignorant fishermen.</i> 513 00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:05,633 <i>Oman, I'm going to inspect your boat.</i> 514 00:48:05,675 --> 00:48:09,348 <i>Ah, come aboard. Want some fudge?</i> 515 00:48:14,309 --> 00:48:16,519 <i>I can't. I'm on Jenny Craig.</i> 516 00:49:08,470 --> 00:49:10,984 Kareem of Onion! Al Jarreau! 517 00:49:19,707 --> 00:49:23,211 <i>Look! Cross dressers! Kill them all.</i> 518 00:49:36,265 --> 00:49:38,559 <i>Boy, what a pretty man.</i> 519 00:49:39,916 --> 00:49:41,416 Go on! Get out of here! 520 00:49:44,671 --> 00:49:46,797 Take that to the bank and cash it! 521 00:49:49,801 --> 00:49:51,176 Swim for shore! 522 00:49:56,266 --> 00:49:57,641 Save yourselves! 523 00:50:01,749 --> 00:50:03,084 <i>Nice shot, Chuck.</i> 524 00:50:03,106 --> 00:50:05,774 Swim for it! I'll catch up. 525 00:50:06,276 --> 00:50:07,442 Go! 526 00:50:38,641 --> 00:50:40,309 Omar Sharif! 527 00:51:24,270 --> 00:51:25,270 Topper? 528 00:51:29,692 --> 00:51:33,070 And in other news, President Benson is returning to Washington today 529 00:51:33,446 --> 00:51:36,281 to speak to the nation in what experts are calling 530 00:51:36,806 --> 00:51:39,240 the pivotal address of his political career. 531 00:51:45,416 --> 00:51:47,376 How is the speech coming, sir? 532 00:51:48,044 --> 00:51:49,628 I'm practicing my A's. 533 00:51:49,879 --> 00:51:52,089 This look like an a to you? - Yes, sir. 534 00:51:52,423 --> 00:51:53,465 All right. 535 00:51:55,718 --> 00:51:56,927 What have you got there, bill? 536 00:51:57,136 --> 00:52:00,389 We just received word from Michelle Huddleston. Topper Harley is missing. 537 00:52:00,598 --> 00:52:03,058 His boat has been demolished. - Damn it! 538 00:52:04,227 --> 00:52:06,228 Every time I give an order, things gets screwed up! 539 00:52:06,437 --> 00:52:08,730 Plan a reception, they bring the wrong hors d'oeuvres. 540 00:52:08,898 --> 00:52:12,117 Appoint an ambassador, next thing we know he leaves the country, now this. 541 00:52:12,468 --> 00:52:13,819 Mr. President, we need a plan. 542 00:52:14,070 --> 00:52:17,155 This may be our last chance to get the hostages out. 543 00:52:18,074 --> 00:52:19,283 All right. 544 00:52:19,575 --> 00:52:22,444 Now, here is where we are and here is where they are. 545 00:52:22,553 --> 00:52:25,414 Jesus. God. - No time for prayer, Bob. 546 00:52:25,581 --> 00:52:28,250 Here's the target area. - That's Minnesota, sir. 547 00:52:28,459 --> 00:52:30,519 Damn it, man, that's the genius of my plan. 548 00:52:31,129 --> 00:52:32,594 We don't have to traipse all over the world to fight. 549 00:52:32,595 --> 00:52:35,273 We can do it right here at home and get us some good fishing while we are at it. 550 00:52:35,274 --> 00:52:39,027 Sir, the enemy is over there. - Then we'll fly them over here. 551 00:52:39,095 --> 00:52:41,805 They can bring their relatives. We'll teach them to ice-skate. 552 00:52:42,015 --> 00:52:45,267 Do I have to think of everything? - But Mr. President, the hostages. 553 00:52:45,476 --> 00:52:48,270 It is imperative that you act now! 554 00:52:55,194 --> 00:52:56,611 Topper? 555 00:53:07,290 --> 00:53:08,957 Topper! You made it! 556 00:53:13,338 --> 00:53:16,298 That's right, Cindy, it's 23 minutes past the hour. 557 00:53:16,466 --> 00:53:20,510 And now here's The Buckinghams with <i>Kind of a Drag.</i> 558 00:53:27,018 --> 00:53:28,685 You're bleeding. 559 00:53:29,145 --> 00:53:30,645 I'll be all right. 560 00:53:31,522 --> 00:53:33,899 Something else bothers me a lot more. 561 00:53:34,567 --> 00:53:38,904 Harbinger, where were you when the patrol boat arrived? 562 00:53:39,322 --> 00:53:42,532 Below, sweeping the boat for bombs. What are you accusing me of? 563 00:53:43,034 --> 00:53:46,661 Nothing, yet. But I want you to know I smell a rat. 564 00:53:46,829 --> 00:53:47,869 Don't push me, lieutenant. 565 00:53:47,970 --> 00:53:49,904 Before you bagged your first babe... 566 00:53:49,972 --> 00:53:52,907 I was slitting throats for this country and making a damn good living at it. 567 00:53:52,908 --> 00:53:55,772 Look, I'm not saying I don't trust you... 568 00:53:56,044 --> 00:53:58,445 And I'm not saying I do, but I don't. 569 00:53:58,946 --> 00:54:01,413 Save it for the enemy. We got a job to do. 570 00:54:09,185 --> 00:54:11,436 Look. I'm cut too. 571 00:54:15,358 --> 00:54:18,193 They got me too. It's a real gusher. 572 00:54:20,238 --> 00:54:21,696 Let's get going. 573 00:54:51,436 --> 00:54:53,562 There's a guard at the gate. 574 00:54:53,938 --> 00:54:55,439 He's mine. 575 00:54:55,898 --> 00:54:57,315 Wait here. 576 00:54:58,943 --> 00:55:00,235 Topper. 577 00:55:04,740 --> 00:55:07,242 Topper. - Jesus! 578 00:55:07,410 --> 00:55:10,078 Before we go in there, I think there's something you should know. 579 00:55:10,329 --> 00:55:13,748 What now? - Have you heard of Dexter Hayman? 580 00:55:13,958 --> 00:55:15,459 The freedom fighter? 581 00:55:15,668 --> 00:55:19,838 He won the Nobel Prize for inventing the artificial appendix. 582 00:55:20,089 --> 00:55:24,009 Exactly. Dexter is one of the captives. 583 00:55:24,927 --> 00:55:27,596 He's my husband. - You've got to be joking. 584 00:55:27,805 --> 00:55:29,848 If I was joking, I would say, 585 00:55:30,099 --> 00:55:33,101 "A rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar..." 586 00:55:33,181 --> 00:55:34,811 Okay, he is your husband. 587 00:55:35,021 --> 00:55:37,856 Topper, I was so young, just a schoolgirl. 588 00:55:38,307 --> 00:55:41,151 He was an older man, so wise in the ways of the world. 589 00:55:41,586 --> 00:55:44,654 He used to come around the schoolyard, day after day. 590 00:55:44,964 --> 00:55:47,365 I so admired his persistence. 591 00:55:47,717 --> 00:55:51,620 Even the restraining order my parents slapped on him wouldn't hold him back. 592 00:55:52,121 --> 00:55:56,500 He opened my eyes to the arts, music, clog-dancing, WrestleMania. 593 00:55:57,168 --> 00:55:59,711 His work has meant so much to so many. 594 00:56:00,129 --> 00:56:02,464 And I owe him everything, Topper. 595 00:56:02,715 --> 00:56:03,798 Everything. 596 00:56:03,966 --> 00:56:05,967 I'm happy for you, kid. 597 00:56:06,802 --> 00:56:09,888 But if you think you can hurt me again, you're wrong. 598 00:56:10,306 --> 00:56:12,807 I left my heart in my other pants. 599 00:57:22,545 --> 00:57:23,712 Go. 600 00:57:43,733 --> 00:57:45,609 Cock-a-doodle-doo! 601 00:59:38,139 --> 00:59:39,889 Cock-a-doodle-doo. 602 00:59:43,519 --> 00:59:44,769 The Iraqi coast. 603 00:59:45,020 --> 00:59:47,731 Those bluffs look treacherous. 604 00:59:49,233 --> 00:59:50,734 Hadn't counted on that. 605 00:59:51,068 --> 00:59:55,530 But if God is on our side, we will rendezvous on Lincoln's wart by noon. 606 00:59:56,031 --> 00:59:57,615 That's it, men. 607 00:59:59,452 --> 01:00:00,952 We're going in! 608 01:00:03,372 --> 01:00:05,373 My rescue mission was underway. 609 01:00:05,583 --> 01:00:08,418 But two things kept running through my mind. 610 01:00:08,627 --> 01:00:10,628 Would we get to the men in time? 611 01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:13,381 And why did I bring helium instead of air? 612 01:00:24,143 --> 01:00:25,727 I'll go to the rear. 613 01:00:29,231 --> 01:00:30,982 Take the front door. 614 01:01:00,638 --> 01:01:02,680 The keys. 615 01:02:09,206 --> 01:02:10,874 What? - Enough! 616 01:02:50,789 --> 01:02:51,873 I'll have a hamburger. 617 01:03:03,225 --> 01:03:04,658 Where are the prisoners? 618 01:03:04,726 --> 01:03:05,658 Over there. 619 01:03:05,727 --> 01:03:06,659 Let's go! 620 01:03:06,728 --> 01:03:08,787 I'll take the back gate. 621 01:03:18,734 --> 01:03:20,985 Now, that's a hell of a gun. 622 01:03:24,907 --> 01:03:28,242 Where's Dexter Hayman? - Villa compound 405. 623 01:03:38,504 --> 01:03:41,756 Okay. I'm here. 624 01:03:41,966 --> 01:03:43,675 "Terrorist Mountain." 625 01:03:43,926 --> 01:03:47,428 "It's a Small War." "Pirates of the Persian Gulf." 626 01:03:47,638 --> 01:03:52,100 "Hostage Mover." "Dexter's Dungeon." 627 01:04:06,615 --> 01:04:09,158 Harbinger, what are you doing here? 628 01:04:10,369 --> 01:04:13,955 I was right, wasn't I? You sabotaged all the other missions. 629 01:04:14,206 --> 01:04:16,874 I find that totally unacceptable. - You got me wrong. 630 01:04:17,334 --> 01:04:18,626 All these years, 631 01:04:19,628 --> 01:04:22,038 fighting and shooting and killing. 632 01:04:22,131 --> 01:04:27,218 I just... I can't go on. 633 01:04:28,470 --> 01:04:33,141 Rainy face! Proud warrior! 634 01:04:35,060 --> 01:04:39,188 Let the sun come out, you big bad G.I. Joe. 635 01:04:40,649 --> 01:04:44,694 You know, kitten, we all have permission to make mistakes. 636 01:04:45,988 --> 01:04:47,071 It's called "learning". 637 01:04:49,742 --> 01:04:53,536 You give your Uncle Topper 638 01:04:53,996 --> 01:04:55,830 a nice big blow. 639 01:05:18,604 --> 01:05:19,854 I'm done. 640 01:05:23,859 --> 01:05:25,443 Attaboy. 641 01:05:35,746 --> 01:05:37,205 Thanks. I can kill again. 642 01:05:37,414 --> 01:05:39,707 You've given me a reason to live. - Good. 643 01:05:39,917 --> 01:05:43,044 Head for the gate. Plenty of bad guys to shoot on the way. 644 01:05:53,138 --> 01:05:57,809 Keeps going and going... 645 01:05:58,060 --> 01:05:59,477 Nothing outlasts the... 646 01:06:02,564 --> 01:06:03,815 Yes! 647 01:06:56,952 --> 01:06:59,120 There's a copter pad half a mile away from the compound. 648 01:06:59,121 --> 01:07:02,748 That's our ticket out. - We can't leave. Not without Dexter. 649 01:07:04,793 --> 01:07:06,043 Topper! Watch out! 650 01:07:41,163 --> 01:07:44,665 For a moment there, I thought you were... 651 01:07:44,875 --> 01:07:46,209 Gabriella Sabatini? 652 01:07:47,544 --> 01:07:51,505 I get that all the time. It must be the nose. 653 01:07:51,798 --> 01:07:54,133 The irony is I haven't picked up a racket in years. 654 01:07:55,427 --> 01:07:56,761 You saved my life. 655 01:07:56,970 --> 01:08:01,933 Topper, no matter what happens, I want you to know that 656 01:08:03,018 --> 01:08:04,977 I never stopped loving you. 657 01:08:07,272 --> 01:08:08,522 Let's move out! 658 01:08:10,150 --> 01:08:12,401 You are the only one knows how to get to the copter pad. 659 01:08:12,653 --> 01:08:14,612 If I'm not there in 15 minutes, you know what to do. 660 01:08:14,613 --> 01:08:18,824 We get the hell out of here. - No! Wait another 15 minutes. 661 01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:22,578 We could hear gunfire from the compound. 662 01:08:22,788 --> 01:08:25,623 From out of nowhere, a patrol boat appeared overhead. 663 01:08:26,625 --> 01:08:29,669 How would we get past the soldiers on that boat? 664 01:08:30,087 --> 01:08:33,631 Then, suddenly, it happened. 665 01:08:50,732 --> 01:08:52,191 Take cover! 666 01:08:59,366 --> 01:09:00,950 Guys. 667 01:09:02,828 --> 01:09:04,078 Jeez! 668 01:09:05,080 --> 01:09:06,122 That's it, good night. 669 01:09:19,970 --> 01:09:23,055 War. It's fantastic! 670 01:10:17,110 --> 01:10:18,361 Drop the gun! 671 01:10:20,947 --> 01:10:22,365 Drop it! 672 01:10:25,077 --> 01:10:30,122 You will die, Yankee bastard man. How you say? Like a dog. 673 01:10:31,875 --> 01:10:33,125 Now march! 674 01:10:42,719 --> 01:10:46,347 Now, I kill you where you stand, you imperialist Yankee-Doodle dork of a pig. 675 01:11:13,291 --> 01:11:14,542 Slippery rascal! 676 01:11:24,803 --> 01:11:26,303 Butcher of Baghdad. Hello? 677 01:11:31,059 --> 01:11:32,101 Who is it? 678 01:11:32,727 --> 01:11:37,398 Your wife, Hillary Rodham Hussein. - Jesus, Mary, Joseph! I'm so stupid! 679 01:11:37,649 --> 01:11:39,569 I was supposed to pick her up at the laundromat! 680 01:11:39,776 --> 01:11:42,570 Tell her I'm at the gym. No, I'm out of town. 681 01:11:42,779 --> 01:11:45,573 On business. Bombing, gassing, a last-minute execution. 682 01:11:45,782 --> 01:11:49,702 Tell her something. Make it up. - I'm sorry. You just missed him. 683 01:11:50,912 --> 01:11:52,705 I owe you one. 684 01:12:03,508 --> 01:12:05,968 Ali MacGraw! My eyes. 685 01:12:10,390 --> 01:12:13,642 You little...! I'm going to split you like a melon! 686 01:12:17,022 --> 01:12:19,690 Now I will kill you until you die from it. 687 01:12:19,941 --> 01:12:21,275 In a pig's ear. 688 01:12:23,487 --> 01:12:25,946 Mr. President! - Suffering succotash! 689 01:12:26,198 --> 01:12:31,076 Looks like the upper hand is on the other foot, Saddam. 690 01:12:36,500 --> 01:12:37,500 Yes! 691 01:12:40,504 --> 01:12:41,795 My skin's made of asbestos. 692 01:12:42,506 --> 01:12:44,757 Tanning parlor accident at Dien Bien Phu. 693 01:12:44,966 --> 01:12:48,677 Go on about your business, son. I got a bone to settle with this guy. 694 01:12:48,929 --> 01:12:50,888 Yes, sir. I'll get Dexter. 695 01:12:51,223 --> 01:12:53,098 Let's make this a fair fight. 696 01:12:58,772 --> 01:13:01,190 I've been waiting for you, O Big One. 697 01:13:01,399 --> 01:13:05,194 We meet at last. The circle is complete. 698 01:13:05,403 --> 01:13:10,032 Now I am the master! - Only the master of evil, Saddam. 699 01:13:11,493 --> 01:13:13,494 Your powers are... 700 01:13:19,125 --> 01:13:21,919 Your powers are weak, old man. You should not have come. 701 01:13:22,128 --> 01:13:25,589 But I have. We'll settle this the Old Navy way. 702 01:13:25,799 --> 01:13:28,509 First guy to die, loses! 703 01:13:37,858 --> 01:13:40,959 Water. 704 01:13:41,028 --> 01:13:42,028 Water, please. 705 01:13:44,526 --> 01:13:46,485 It's locked. From the inside. - No! 706 01:13:46,736 --> 01:13:48,921 Damn it! - We're gonna die! We all gonna die! 707 01:13:49,072 --> 01:13:50,656 Get a hold of yourself, man! - Blow it! 708 01:13:50,907 --> 01:13:53,284 It's not our property. - Do it! 709 01:13:53,493 --> 01:13:56,370 Mr. Geppetto! 710 01:13:59,374 --> 01:14:02,710 Go ahead. Shoot. You'll get nothing from me. 711 01:14:02,961 --> 01:14:06,263 You are filth. I spit in the face of filth. 712 01:14:06,281 --> 01:14:08,872 Dexter, I've come to get you out of here. 713 01:14:08,923 --> 01:14:09,923 You're American. 714 01:14:10,124 --> 01:14:11,555 Yes. I'm from America. 715 01:14:12,726 --> 01:14:13,086 Let's go. 716 01:14:13,288 --> 01:14:17,208 My friend, I yearn for freedom as much as anyone 717 01:14:17,517 --> 01:14:19,685 but I run from no man. 718 01:14:19,894 --> 01:14:21,228 You've got to come with me. 719 01:14:22,063 --> 01:14:24,398 I can't walk. 720 01:14:25,692 --> 01:14:27,610 They've tied my shoelaces together. 721 01:14:29,863 --> 01:14:31,113 A knot. 722 01:14:33,825 --> 01:14:35,075 Bastards. 723 01:14:44,419 --> 01:14:48,589 I'm aborting the mission. Envelope is closed. We're lifting off. 724 01:14:50,967 --> 01:14:53,177 Here you go. It's $4.50. 725 01:14:54,596 --> 01:14:55,888 I didn't think you'd make it. 726 01:14:56,139 --> 01:14:58,015 Everybody, on board. We're getting out of here. 727 01:14:58,266 --> 01:15:01,101 What about the others? We just can't leave them. 728 01:15:19,329 --> 01:15:24,458 Wait! I can't go any further. I need a drink. 729 01:15:30,674 --> 01:15:33,217 Okay. Right a bit. Stop there. 730 01:15:33,426 --> 01:15:38,764 Down a bit, down a bit. There. It's not very cold. Is this filtered? 731 01:15:39,099 --> 01:15:42,351 Their artillery will be down on us in seconds. We have to lift off. 732 01:15:42,560 --> 01:15:44,812 No! If we leave now, we'll lose Topper and Dexter. 733 01:15:45,397 --> 01:15:48,649 But that's been the idea all along, hasn't it, Michelle? 734 01:15:53,405 --> 01:15:56,907 You're looking beautiful as ever, Ramada. How did you know? 735 01:15:57,117 --> 01:16:00,369 I didn't. It all came together when I saw you here. 736 01:16:00,620 --> 01:16:03,080 I thought back to your inscription in my yearbook. 737 01:16:03,331 --> 01:16:06,166 You wrote, "Remember all the fun we had in speech class 738 01:16:06,418 --> 01:16:09,086 and I'll fuck up your life if it's the last thing I do." 739 01:16:09,963 --> 01:16:13,465 And then I realized where I had last seen this. 740 01:16:21,683 --> 01:16:24,727 What could I have done to make you so vindictive? 741 01:16:25,311 --> 01:16:27,771 Goodness sake. You gals know each other. 742 01:16:27,981 --> 01:16:30,566 Ramada, how could you have been so blind? 743 01:16:30,817 --> 01:16:34,570 You were always too wrapped up in being Miss Perfect College to notice me. 744 01:16:34,779 --> 01:16:38,782 Why should you concern yourself with the feelings of one insignificant roommate? 745 01:16:38,992 --> 01:16:44,037 One fabulous day, one incredible experience. 746 01:16:44,247 --> 01:16:46,457 I had no idea it meant so much to you. 747 01:16:46,666 --> 01:16:49,001 I remember that day as if it were yesterday. 748 01:16:49,210 --> 01:16:51,253 The exhilaration of experimenting, 749 01:16:51,504 --> 01:16:55,424 sharing something so new, so dangerous, 750 01:16:55,675 --> 01:16:59,470 so intimate. - Go on. 751 01:16:59,721 --> 01:17:02,306 And I'll never forget the look on your face. 752 01:17:02,515 --> 01:17:05,017 The way the sweat glistened on your hard body. 753 01:17:05,769 --> 01:17:07,019 Then you tied my ankles. 754 01:17:07,228 --> 01:17:10,397 Tighter. 755 01:17:10,648 --> 01:17:13,901 But it just wasn't right. It wasn't natural. 756 01:17:14,110 --> 01:17:17,321 Bungee-jumping is just too dangerous a sport. 757 01:17:17,530 --> 01:17:19,448 Bungee-jumping? That's it? 758 01:17:20,142 --> 01:17:20,481 Michelle 759 01:17:20,742 --> 01:17:23,535 how could you do this, how could you hurt so many innocent people? 760 01:17:23,745 --> 01:17:26,580 Ramada! It was always so easy for you. 761 01:17:26,831 --> 01:17:28,248 How could you ever understand? 762 01:17:30,251 --> 01:17:33,420 I had Dexter imprisoned because I wanted you to suffer 763 01:17:33,630 --> 01:17:36,423 as much as you made me suffer. - You fool! 764 01:17:40,094 --> 01:17:43,055 And then when I discovered I couldn't win Topper's heart, 765 01:17:43,264 --> 01:17:46,025 because he was still in love with you, I tried to have you all killed. 766 01:17:47,685 --> 01:17:50,020 He still loves me. 767 01:17:53,191 --> 01:17:54,900 You turned your back on America 768 01:17:56,027 --> 01:17:59,154 because of your petty jealousy. You're gonna pay for this. 769 01:18:07,527 --> 01:18:09,419 Good doggie. 770 01:18:31,104 --> 01:18:34,273 Aluminum siding. Ten-year guarantee. I'll never have to be painted. 771 01:19:28,119 --> 01:19:31,163 Do you have any idea where you're going? 772 01:19:32,206 --> 01:19:34,082 You missed! 773 01:19:34,375 --> 01:19:38,045 It'll take more than that to stop me, you devils! 774 01:19:38,254 --> 01:19:39,671 Don't jiggle me. 775 01:19:39,881 --> 01:19:43,800 Advil! Midol! Get over here! To the helicopter. 776 01:19:44,052 --> 01:19:47,012 They dicked with the wrong dictator. 777 01:19:47,388 --> 01:19:49,097 This means war! 778 01:19:52,310 --> 01:19:54,311 You better let me handle this, son. 779 01:19:55,647 --> 01:19:57,272 You're so sweaty. 780 01:19:57,523 --> 01:20:00,049 I knew you'd make it. - It's about time. 781 01:20:02,528 --> 01:20:04,780 Michelle. - She's our saboteur. 782 01:20:06,074 --> 01:20:08,325 Topper, can you get me off the hook for old time's sake? 783 01:20:08,534 --> 01:20:13,163 Sorry, precious, no can do. You sold out the greatest country in the world. 784 01:20:13,581 --> 01:20:17,668 And to think I wore your mole. Get her out of here. 785 01:20:22,465 --> 01:20:24,049 Dexter? 786 01:20:25,134 --> 01:20:26,426 Ramada. 787 01:20:31,474 --> 01:20:35,644 Dear Dexter. Look what they've done to your shoelaces! 788 01:20:35,853 --> 01:20:40,440 My darling. You've no idea what I've just been through. 789 01:20:40,692 --> 01:20:44,277 But now we're together again. We have so much to look forward to. 790 01:20:44,529 --> 01:20:49,257 I want to do it all. <i>Donahue, Geraldo.</i> 791 01:20:49,259 --> 01:20:52,744 <i>Sally Jessy</i>. And who's that black chick? 792 01:20:54,247 --> 01:20:57,290 Oprah. - Yes! Her too. 793 01:21:02,755 --> 01:21:05,015 Let's go! It's getting hot here. 794 01:21:05,425 --> 01:21:07,467 You go ahead. I'm going back for the President. 795 01:21:07,802 --> 01:21:09,177 Topper! 796 01:21:10,221 --> 01:21:12,097 I've thought it over, I'm staying here with you. 797 01:21:12,098 --> 01:21:15,142 No, you're not. You're getting on that copter with Dexter, where you belong. 798 01:21:15,393 --> 01:21:17,602 Why? I thought you loved me. 799 01:21:17,812 --> 01:21:20,764 Ramada, I do love you. I've tried to forget you 800 01:21:20,815 --> 01:21:23,942 but no matter what I do, your face is always on the tip of my tongue. 801 01:21:24,152 --> 01:21:25,428 Then let me stay with you. 802 01:21:25,528 --> 01:21:28,822 Ramada, I want to be with you. I want to hold you. 803 01:21:29,073 --> 01:21:31,175 I want to meet your parents and pet your dog. 804 01:21:31,325 --> 01:21:33,927 My parents are dead, Topper. My dog ate them. 805 01:21:34,454 --> 01:21:38,415 I'm sorry. We both know you belong with Dexter. 806 01:21:38,666 --> 01:21:41,543 You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. 807 01:21:41,794 --> 01:21:46,089 I'm no good at being noble, but do you have any idea what would happen if you stayed here with me? 808 01:21:46,340 --> 01:21:47,591 Of course I do. 809 01:21:47,800 --> 01:21:52,137 Sex. Wild, free, passionate, unbridled sex. 810 01:21:52,987 --> 01:21:54,981 I'd fondle you in ways you can't imagine. 811 01:21:55,099 --> 01:21:58,852 I would pleasure you at any time, in any place, in any way, 812 01:21:59,103 --> 01:22:01,563 for as long as you could possibly desire. 813 01:22:09,864 --> 01:22:12,699 You better get going. You'll miss your takeoff. 814 01:22:15,578 --> 01:22:19,247 Goodbye, Topper. God bless you. 815 01:22:19,499 --> 01:22:22,084 Wait a second, let me get a shot of you two. 816 01:22:22,335 --> 01:22:25,712 It'll be great visual for the talk shows. Let's just frame this up. 817 01:22:25,963 --> 01:22:29,800 Closer together. Come on. Don't be shy. 818 01:22:30,009 --> 01:22:31,176 Put your arm around her. 819 01:22:31,928 --> 01:22:34,304 I've almost got it. This is a great shot. 820 01:22:34,514 --> 01:22:36,765 My god, you're gonna love this! 821 01:22:37,391 --> 01:22:41,686 You know, under other circumstances, you'd make a great couple. 822 01:22:42,438 --> 01:22:45,440 Oh well. Say 'chee...' 823 01:22:46,025 --> 01:22:48,777 You're moving too much. Quit spinning! 824 01:22:48,986 --> 01:22:50,654 This'll make me rich and fam... 825 01:22:52,073 --> 01:22:55,784 He really was a wiener! - Don't get me started. 826 01:22:56,035 --> 01:22:59,079 Hold it there! Hold it! 827 01:23:00,164 --> 01:23:02,666 This buggy going to America? 828 01:23:02,875 --> 01:23:04,709 Mr. President, I was afraid we may have lost you. 829 01:23:04,710 --> 01:23:06,128 Lost me? Not a chance. 830 01:23:06,337 --> 01:23:08,421 Shove over, you guys. I got dibs on the window seat. 831 01:23:15,930 --> 01:23:19,057 They're in my sights. - Just a second! This is personal. 832 01:23:23,271 --> 01:23:25,564 We're too heavy. We need to lose some weight. 833 01:28:23,526 --> 01:28:27,981 Hot Shots Part Deux was filmed in Hollywood in front of a live studio audience. 834 01:28:28,351 --> 01:28:30,893 [In reverse, "His boat has been demolished."] 834 01:28:31,305 --> 01:29:31,529 Do you want subtitles for any video? -=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=-