"Here We Go" Mum and Dad's Anniversary

1 00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:05,840 I just wish I knew what was going on in there. 2 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:09,040 Someone is stealing our spoons. 3 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:11,840 The ants are back. 4 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:15,600 SHE SIGHS 5 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:21,717 Oh, Amy? Please! 6 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:23,480 BOTH SCREAM 7 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,637 That was good that time, wasn't it? Not really, no. 8 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:30,117 Is that banana meant to be a knife? 9 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,157 No, it's meant to be a banana. I'm going to eat it. OK. 10 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:33,517 What's going on? You called me. 11 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,557 No, Sam's just helping me with self-defence. 12 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:37,557 And I need you to take that down, please. 13 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:39,157 What? I've only just finished it. 14 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,037 But it's massive, and I need it out of my way. 15 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:44,237 Well, that's what the French said at first, 16 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:45,997 a lot of people wanted it pulled down, and now, 17 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,917 it's the most-visited tourist attraction in the world, so... 18 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,357 Huh. Oh, Amy, isn't it wonderful! 19 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:53,237 Oh, it's like being in Paris. 20 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,317 It's like being in Legoland. 21 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:56,877 Are you not putting the flag on? 22 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,877 Er, the what? What flag? 23 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:00,517 For the tippy top. 24 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:02,917 Eee. Right, I'm off to the high street. OK. 25 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,197 I'm taking one of the fobs, Rachel. Yeah. 26 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:08,437 And I'll meet you at the, er, escape shop at 3pm. 27 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:10,637 Escape Room, OK, bye, Sue. I'll see you later, Paul. 28 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,837 Why is that stain here? I've just washed it. See you, Mum. See you. 29 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,597 PAUL: OK, everyone, listen up, please. 30 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:17,077 I'm going to take my oatmeal bath now for my... 31 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,477 Bum rash. 32 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:20,237 ...upper thigh rash, thank you, Sam, 33 00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:22,997 and, er, I shall be at least an hour, please do not disturb. 34 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,557 Well, thank you, thank you for that totally unnecessary announcement. 35 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:27,877 You go and stew in your porridge. What are you looking for? 36 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,197 I've lost the French flag for the top. 37 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:31,677 It's not finished without it. 38 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:33,997 OK. God, it's taken me ages. 39 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,197 Er, why is the door locked? 40 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:37,997 I guess the smart locks are on. 41 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,557 Where's the fob? I think Granny had it, didn't she? 42 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,077 Oh. What? Oh, no. 43 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,317 What? Erm... has she locked us in? 44 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:47,997 Oh, she's locked us in. Huh? 45 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:49,277 Yeah, she's locked us in. 46 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,037 Er, go and get your dad, Sam. He's bathing in oatmeal. 47 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:54,957 Go after your granny, Amy, and tell her she's locked us in. 48 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,637 Yeah, I can't, she's locked us in. She's locked us in. 49 00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:59,877 Sam, go and get your dad, put the camera down. Oh... 50 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,237 We're locked in. Oh, God! We're locked in! Sam. 51 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:05,157 We're locked in. Sam, go! We're locked in! Fine! 52 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:07,317 Oh... AMY GIGGLES 53 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:11,797 Why am I nervous? What is it? THEY CHUCKLE 54 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:15,520 Ta-da! Happy anniversary. 55 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,597 Oh, babe... 56 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,597 Yeah? I didn't think you... SHE GIGGLES 57 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:23,077 I didn't think you were going to get me one. Waaah! 58 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:26,517 HE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY Because... because and... 59 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,917 ...and this is so funny, it really is funny, 60 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,637 erm... I got one, as well. 61 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:34,760 Ha! 62 00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:40,237 You got a big green egg for yourself? 63 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:42,920 No, I... Well, for you. 64 00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:45,957 For me? 65 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:47,837 Are you joking? For us. 66 00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:49,677 For the... for the family. 67 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:51,997 The discount code was about to expire, and... 68 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,797 ...and you said you weren't getting me one... 69 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:56,197 Yeah, because I wanted it to be a surprise. Where's your one, then? 70 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:57,477 It hasn't arrived yet. 71 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,637 OK, so my anniversary present isn't even here in time, 72 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:03,357 and it's a barbecue. Oh, wow, this is great. 73 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:04,957 Come on, you two. 74 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:06,957 Your anniversary pancakes are ready. 75 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:08,557 Oh, yeah! Mm. 76 00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:09,837 Huh? Mm-mm. You know. 77 00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:11,837 I'm sorry, babe, I'll send back the other one. 78 00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:13,197 That one was full whack as well, 79 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:16,077 trust you to find the discount code, you stingy git. Ah-huh. 80 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,597 Happy anniversary. 81 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:19,317 25 years. 82 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,197 Oh, it's not that long, actually. 83 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,677 Well, it feels long, Sue. Pancakes! 84 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,397 And it's the same length as the minimum life sentence... 85 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,117 Mm... appropriately. Yeah, well... 86 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,797 Why are you standing like that? Just sit on a stool. 87 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:33,637 Hmm? No reason. 88 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,757 He... he can't sit down because of his botty rash. 89 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:39,517 SAM CHUCKLES Upper-thigh rash, Mum! 90 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:41,477 And I thought I told you that in confidence. 91 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,637 Have you still not been to the doctor? 92 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,397 I will. I just - I just need to send him some photos, 93 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:49,317 and I'm finding it really difficult to get it at the right angle... 94 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:50,837 Oh, my God... and in the light. 95 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:53,197 Do you want me to take it, Paul? No, Mum! 96 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:56,597 Well, w-we could use that, erm, angle-poise lamp. 97 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:57,997 Oh, my God, no! Ugh. 98 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,237 I don't want you shining a light up my bum, 99 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:01,957 like you're interrogating it. 100 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:03,637 SAM: Thought it was your upper thigh? 101 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,837 DOORBELL RINGS Where's the pepper, Rache? 102 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,797 I don't know, go and have a look, you're the one standing up. 103 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:10,637 Doorbell! All right, jeez. 104 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,717 Pepper, don't put pepper on your strawberries, you pervert. 105 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,117 Shut up! 106 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:17,517 Ah, hey, Robin, Cherry. Robin and Cherry are here. 107 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:20,437 All right, Paulo, Spielberg, give Chez a bit of space, will you? 108 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:24,077 Yeah. It's actually easier if I come in backwards, cos of the step, 109 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:25,117 it's like... 110 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:26,877 Boop-boop, "Caution, vehicle reversing". 111 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,557 HE LAUGHS Stop doing that! Sorry. 112 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:29,797 I told you. Yeah, sorry. 113 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:31,757 SUE: Oh, Cheryl, look at the size of you. 114 00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:34,517 Yes. No, I know, I am sick of it, to be honest, though, 115 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,317 I feel like a bloody hot-air balloon. 116 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,717 A smoking hot-air balloon, thank you very much. 117 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,197 I find it, honestly, very attractive. 118 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,677 He does, it's a problem. It is, it's the last thing 119 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,037 she needs at this stage, this idiot doubling down on the pregnancy. 120 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:48,077 AMY: Oh, my God, doubling down? Yeah. Yeah. 121 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,477 Anyway, bon anniversaire! 122 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,397 SAM: Doesn't that mean "happy birthday"? 123 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:53,837 It... I don't know. 124 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:57,437 25 magical years of being my brother-in-law. 125 00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:59,757 I mean... I know! I can't believe it, hey? 126 00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:01,477 Mwah. OK. Fantastic. Thank you. 127 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:04,477 RACHEL: It's my anniversary, too. Well, you get any nice presents? 128 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,837 We both got each other the same barbecue. Yeah. 129 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,837 Er, which only he wanted, and I think is hideous, 130 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:11,637 so, no, not really. OK. 131 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:14,717 SUE: And I got you the smart locks. Yes. Smart locks? 132 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:17,477 They're super secure, you know, digital locks, 133 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,877 because of the burglary spree recently. Spree? 134 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,557 Oh. And the locksmith's going to fit them on Tuesday. 135 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,597 OK. Not a spree, Mum, OK? 136 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,037 I mean, we've hardly even talked about it down at the station. 137 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,237 They're going on all the doors and windows. 138 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,317 And Penny got us one of those smartphones... Oh, yeah. 139 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,917 ...which link up to the photo library. 140 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,317 Yeah, I know, yeah, great. Pretty cool, I'll get it. 141 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,517 Oh! Oooh! Who got you the Lego Eiffel Tower? 142 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,717 What? Oh, no, that's mine. CHERRY: Grow up. 143 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,557 It's not a present, I-I'm clearing out the last of my stuff. 144 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:44,637 Ah. Yeah. 145 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,277 Is it full-size? Oh. 146 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:49,637 It... Well, n-no. I-I mean... 147 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:51,557 I don't - I doubt it. 148 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,757 It's 149 centimetres when fully erect, 149 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:55,437 and the Eiffel Tower's pretty big an' all. 150 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:56,837 Millimetres, more like. 151 00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,157 Erm... y-yeah. Actually. 152 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:00,757 Yeah. Give or take. 153 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:02,277 You going to build it, then, or what? 154 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,877 Well, no, not right now, I'm too busy job hunting. Are you? 155 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,597 At the moment, yeah. Have we seriously not got any pepper, Mum? 156 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,317 SUE: Oh, I've got some. In me bag. Have you? 157 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,317 Why have you got pepper in your bag, Sue? 158 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:13,997 It's the, erm, the spray. 159 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,517 She's funny, isn't she? The... the spray? 160 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,997 As in, pepper spray? Yeah. 161 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:20,037 Just squirt a bit there. 162 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:21,157 THEY SCREAM AMY: Oh, my... 163 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,397 CHERRY: Do not squirt pepper spray near me, Sue, 164 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,157 because it might make the baby, you know... 165 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,117 Sneeze. That's stupid. Oh, yeah, stupid. 166 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:28,277 Can't be around sprays. 167 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:30,997 I won't even let him spray Lynx Java. QED. 168 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:32,877 Why have you got pepper spray, Sue? Phwoar! Sorry. 169 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,917 SUE: Well, the burglaries, Rachel. 170 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,877 And Bren saw a flasher a few weeks back. 171 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,037 What, so you'd pepper spray a flasher? 172 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:41,677 I would, yes. Yeah. The dirty devil. 173 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,197 Blast him in the eyes, and the bits. 174 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:46,197 All right. Upstairs, downstairs. 175 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,197 All right. Wh-Where did you even get it? 176 00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:51,997 Yeah, exactly. Er, just, you know, what's it called now? 177 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:53,637 Oh, the dark web. 178 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,797 The dark web?! Love the dark web. What? 179 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:59,197 You're 77, you can barely manage the light web. 180 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,797 SAM: Can you put pepper spray on food? Of course not. 181 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,837 Yeah, 'course you can. You shouldn't have that, Mum. 182 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,197 It's illegal. Is it? What? 183 00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:06,917 Just do the self-defence class with Rachel, 184 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,877 if you're worried about that. Yeah. Yeah, exactly! 185 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,237 ROBIN: You're, doing a self-defence course, are you, Rache? 186 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:13,237 I thought you were off counselling prisoners at the moment? Well... 187 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,877 That's why she's doing it, she assumes they'll attack her. 188 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:18,197 Well, no, I do not assume anything, thank you. 189 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:21,517 You know, most convicted criminals are victims of circumstance 190 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,397 and deserve our compassion. Ding. 191 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,197 That said, if any of them do get aggressive, 192 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,637 I need to know how to beat them off. 193 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,277 OK, one way to deal with a flasher. 194 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,477 Yeah, that's a little bit too much compassion, Mum. 195 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:34,037 THEY LAUGH As in - don't be childish - 196 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:38,277 as in, getting them in to a hold and bringing them safely to a... 197 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:40,957 Climax? ..prison officer. Stop it. 198 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:43,317 Come on, then, Rache, let's see the old beat-off in action. 199 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:46,157 Come on, come on, come on. Ow. Ow! Robin. Well, OK. 200 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,557 No, the first video's about adrenaline control and... Oh, OK. 201 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:52,077 ...I do panic a bit when taken by surprise, so actually, 202 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:54,997 I give you all permission to startle me whenever you want. 203 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:56,717 SAM: OK, great. Don't mind if I do. 204 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:59,237 Da-daaahh! See, I was all right, then. 205 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,237 You were. PAUL: What's this? 206 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:02,517 OK, so this is your 207 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:05,197 anniversary gift from me and Chez. BOTH: Oooh! 208 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:09,117 OK. Hopefully a good one. Say hello to - do ink - Tim! 209 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,677 Whoo! To whom? 210 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:14,917 Tim. He's a home assistant. He's like the Alexa of Bulgaria. 211 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,597 Yeah, he is. SUE: What? 212 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:18,957 There's an assistant in that box? 213 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,437 No, n... no. 214 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:23,357 He's not - OK, so he's - it's a smart home hub, Sue, 215 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:24,877 so what you do, you plug him in, 216 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,837 and then, Tim can tell you if it's raining, or... 217 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:29,357 Well, I can do that. 218 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,437 ...o-or, you know, what time Gardeners' World's on. 219 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,077 Erm, 8pm on a Friday night. 220 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:36,997 OK, and things you can't do, Sue, like he can play any song. 221 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,637 Well, I can play some of them. 222 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:42,037 OK, yeah, but he's online, he's always listening, he's the... 223 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:45,957 Why would we want a Bulgarian robot always listening, Robin? 224 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,357 Well... Rude... spying on us? That is a bit rude. 225 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,317 You know, smart locks, 226 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:54,357 smart frames, smart homes, I mean, 227 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,477 when did everything suddenly have to be smart? 228 00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:59,557 You know, what's wrong with the old thicko version of things? 229 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,037 AMY: OK. OK, well, this is from me and Sam... Oh! 230 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,437 ...to encourage a couple of old thickos to be smart. 231 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:05,957 OK! Ha-ha! Aww. 232 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:07,317 What is it? 233 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:09,557 SAM: Erm, we booked an escape room. 234 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,037 Yes! Why? I love an escape room. 235 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,637 Well, this is what marriage is, one big escape room, 236 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,877 everyone desperately looking for a way out. 237 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,957 It was to make you work together a bit, you know, 238 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,437 help you two communicate. I do communicate, Sam. 239 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,917 If anything, we communicate too much, actually. 240 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,757 OK, you bought each other the same barbecue. Yeah. 241 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,197 Well, I'm really pumped, with this. Well, of course you are. 242 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:31,037 You know, I don't want to be rude, 243 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:33,437 but this present is worse than nothing. 244 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:35,317 OK, you're welcome. Mm. 245 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,517 Yeah, strategy games make him unbearable! 246 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:41,197 He'll just... Me? ..take over and boss me around, again. 247 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,277 I won't! You will! I won't. 248 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:47,357 All right, we're going to do this together, as a team. 249 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,437 I won't take over, Rache, OK? 250 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,277 I promise. Mm. 251 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:54,197 AMY SCOFFS Oh, Dad. 252 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:55,997 I can't find the flag anywhere! 253 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,397 Well, look for the fob, Amy, not the flag! 254 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,917 The door is smart-locked, if we can't find the fob, 255 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,037 then we're genuinely staring down the barrel 256 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,237 of missing the escape room! Oh, God, that'd be great. 257 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:07,197 Or bring the escape room here, I guess. 258 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:09,637 Right, could everyone just calm down, please?! 259 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:12,357 Well, we are calm, you're the only one that isn't calm. 260 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,517 There were two fobs, right? Mum only took one, 261 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,437 so, basic maths dictates... 262 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:20,917 Oh, my God, there's one fob in the house, yes, 263 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,237 you don't need to basic-maths dictate - 264 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,077 this is why I don't do games with you, 265 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:26,717 you get so pompous and bossy. Mm. 266 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,637 All right, don't snipe, Rachel. 267 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:30,237 This isn't exactly ideal for me either, 268 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:32,997 I just pulled the plug on my oatmeal bath - literally. 269 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:34,317 The locksmith's not answering. 270 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,837 Right, OK, I'll look over there, you call Robin. 271 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:38,957 Yeah, you can say "please," we're locked in, not in the army. 272 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,797 Where did Granny say she put the fob? 273 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,917 I don't know, I don't actually listen to what she says to me, Amy. 274 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,997 Hi, Robin, hi, yeah, no, we're... we're locked in. 275 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:50,437 Yeah. Can you get over here as soon as you can? 276 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:51,797 DOORBELL CHIMES 277 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,920 Oh, that was quick. I'll get it! 278 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:59,037 Oh, yeah, it's locked, innit? Yeah. Delivery. 279 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,837 Oh, er, yeah, is it...? 280 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:02,917 Can it fit through the letterbox? 281 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,477 Don't think so, it's a barbecue. 282 00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:07,197 Oh, my God, it's the egg! It's the second big green egg. 283 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:08,677 I thought you'd sent that back? 284 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:10,877 Well, it'd already been dispatched, so they wouldn't let me. Hello! 285 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:13,877 Erm, we're sending it back. Mm. What? 286 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,037 Yeah, we've already got one. Got one. 287 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:18,597 Why'd you order another one, then? Exactly! Great question! 288 00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:21,917 Well, because... well, none of your beeswax why, mate. 289 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:25,877 OK? We are - we are returning it. I'm going to try Sue again. 290 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:26,997 Can you open the door? 291 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,317 IMITATING DELIVERY MAN: Oh, great idea, I hadn't thought of that. 292 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,877 We're not choosing to speak to you through the letterbox, pal, 293 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:37,077 we're locked in. OK? And even so, I am refusing the delivery. 294 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,797 You can only do that in person. 295 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:41,957 Well, I am in person, I'm just behind a door. 296 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:44,437 I am a person, in person! 297 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,117 I am in person! 298 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,477 SAM: He's leaving it, Dad. Oh, look, do not leave it there. 299 00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:50,437 Do not leave it there, I'm a policeman, 300 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,357 I command you not to leave it there. 301 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,397 Squire! Squire! 302 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:55,597 SQUIRE! 303 00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:56,880 He's gone, Dad. 304 00:11:58,160 --> 00:11:59,757 Oh, oh, oh, oh... Bloody hell! 305 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:02,477 Ah, Sue! Sue! I'm through, I'm through! Oh, thank God. 306 00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:03,917 Sue! Sue, can you hear me? Mum? 307 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,757 Listen, you'll have to head back, because you've locked us all in! 308 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:08,277 Come home! I didn't, actually. 309 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,600 Granny left her phone in the kitchen. Great. 310 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:15,077 I'm on the app, Dad, but we need the activation code to sign up. 311 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:18,277 OK, how do we get the code? It's printed on the fobs. 312 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:21,037 Great news. Whoa, Dad! Your dressing gown's coming open. 313 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,397 Oh... Huh? Oh, well, don't look at it! 314 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:26,317 I'm not looking! It's the sash, it's very feeble. 315 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,357 Who's that? Is there someone at the door? Oh, what? Huh? 316 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:32,397 Are they burglars? What? Who... who are they? I don't know. 317 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:35,157 Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, my God, are they taking the egg? 318 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,917 Do not take the egg! I... 319 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,437 I command you, I am a policeman! Barely. 320 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:44,117 Drop that egg, in the name of the law! Stop that! 321 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,837 They're just ignoring you. Stop it! 322 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:48,397 Oh... Great. 323 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:49,760 Well, that's great. 324 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:55,757 I mean, thank God we got two. They were very expensive. Mm. 325 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:57,797 Well, that one was bought with a discount code. 326 00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:59,357 Nah, we're calling the police. 327 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,037 He is the police. I am A police. 328 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,557 I am not THE police. And we're not calling them. 329 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,077 Why not?! We have been burgled! 330 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,477 No, I mean, we left something outside our front door. 331 00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:09,837 WE didn't leave it out there! It makes us look like goons. 332 00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:12,517 We are goons - we're trapped inside our own house. 333 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,597 Yeah, but if... if the guys at the station find out about this, 334 00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:17,437 they might... make fun of me. 335 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:20,397 Ah. Anyway, there's no point. We've got a doorbell camera, 336 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:22,317 we'll have footage of their thieving faces! 337 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,997 No, but, it's - look, the police won't, you know, investigate. 338 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,557 Why not? We don't catch burglars any more, Rachel, 339 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:28,957 it's not the 1950s. 340 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:30,717 Well, what do you do all day, then?! 341 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:33,757 Eat doughnuts and glare at people outside stadiums, mainly. 342 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,597 And other stuff! Mm. 343 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,717 I'm going to try calling my mum again. Oh, my God. 344 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:38,917 I have her phone! 345 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,477 You'd literally just be calling me. Well, I won't, then! 346 00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:43,757 SUE: Now, cup of tea, Jon Boy. 347 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:47,997 And a Wagon Wheel as a coaster. Nah, I'm good, thanks. 348 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,237 Nearly finished fitting the smart lock, anyway. 349 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,917 Oh, well, I'll leave it, in case you change your mind. 350 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,437 Oh, wow, look at that. 351 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:58,477 That photo frame is clever, innit? Yeah, it's smart - like the locks. 352 00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:01,517 Anniversary gifts. Aww, congratulations. 353 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:02,877 ROBIN DISTANTLY: Tim... Tim! 354 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,157 MALE VOICE ON LAPTOP: ..and then, come in with the elbow, and then, 355 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:07,757 follow up with the wrist, the heel of the hand... Boo! 356 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,117 SHE SCREAMS 357 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,077 Sam! What?! You told me to startle you. 358 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:12,917 Yes, well, I wasn't ready! 359 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,957 That's the idea, isn't it? Oh! 360 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,477 Tim. Tim. Tim! 361 00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,637 PAUL: Tim. Timmm. Tim! 362 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:22,597 Are you sure it's on? Yeah, it's definitely listening, look. 363 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:24,117 Cos the light's on. Tim. 364 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,997 SAM: Tim. Tim. PAUL: Tim. 365 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:28,717 Why isn't it responding? Well, he's Bulgarian, remember, pal. 366 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,157 You might not have been saying it right. Tim? Tim! 367 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:34,197 AMY: Can you look for a four-by-two flat grey piece, Granny? 368 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,677 SUE: Yeah. Amy, could you pick up this Lego please? Whoopee! 369 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:37,837 That's what I'm doing. 370 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,597 Yeah, but not one piece at a time. That'll take ages. 371 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:41,917 PAUL: Tim. What's his problem? 372 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,037 Why can't you do this in your flat? Come in, Tim. 373 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:46,717 Well, Maya's working from home this week, so it'll get in her way. 374 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:49,917 Tim. Yeah, but I'm working from home, and it's getting in my way. 375 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,957 Tim? And please don't force your grandmother to do it, too, please. 376 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:56,437 She's not forcing me! Tim? We're a team. Yeah, exactly. 377 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,717 Tim? Tim. Timbo. Timothy. Tim... 378 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,957 BULGARIAN ACCENT: How can I help you? Oh. Oh. 379 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:04,317 Whoa, that's creepy. Well, go on, then, Paulo, ask him something 380 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,997 quickly, before he goes away. Er, well, er, well, OK, erm, 381 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:11,597 well, I don't know what to ask him. Hah! Erm, what time is it? 382 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:15,317 10.26. The time is now 10.26. 383 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,517 See? Waste of space. Well... 384 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,157 Anyone want a Wagon Wheel? I'll have a Wagon Wheel. 385 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,637 Hey there. SHE SCREECHES 386 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,237 Whoa! Whoa! Chill out, Rache! Are you all right? 387 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:27,317 Yeah, I'm fine. I'm doing a self-defence course, sorry. 388 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:28,717 OK. Nice. 389 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,397 So, I just finished fitting your locks. Fantastic. 390 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,317 Let me walk you through the system. OK, great, thanks, Jon. 391 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,757 Cool, thank you, Jon. It's, er, Jon Boy. 392 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:37,757 Cool. These fobs, we've got two of them. 393 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:40,077 Oh, is it your anniversary, then? Uh-huh, yeah. 394 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,117 Look at the lovely couple. Your wife is hot, innit? 395 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,477 Oh, thanks, no, no, that's my mum. Oh! That's not my wife. 396 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,117 Sorry. My mum, mate. 397 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,077 Sorry about that. Yeah. It's all right. 398 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:49,997 Er, what, you doing anything nice for it? 399 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:51,117 Erm, yeah, we are actually, yeah. 400 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,517 Yeah, we're going to an escape room tomorrow. Ah, no way! 401 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,837 You doing Temple of the Sphynx? SAM: Yeah, exactly. 402 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,037 HE CHUCKLES Bro, I warn you, it is hard! 403 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,237 I mean, like rock-hard, you've got to sort of work out 404 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,797 all them hygroglytics and that. Hieroglyphics, yeah. 405 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,037 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 406 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:06,637 And then, you've got to sort of, like, put the gods in height order, 407 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,837 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Please don't tell me. No, no. 408 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,277 I'd rather do it, you know? Sure. 409 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,597 And, look, I didn't get the medal when I did it, so... 410 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,557 Right, cos I don't want to... There's a medal, is there? 411 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,637 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get it if you get the code on the side 412 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:19,877 of the mummy's erm, er, body box. 413 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,637 Sarcophagus. Please don't ruin it. 414 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:23,757 OK, cool. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so... 415 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:26,077 Oh! Smart locks. Yes. Right, look. 416 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:30,797 So, basically, fob will lock and unlock the windows 417 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,837 and doors at once. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. 418 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,517 And download the app - I would if I was you. Good. 419 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:37,237 Yeah? Control it from your phone, 420 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:40,557 and it will basically stop you getting locked in, or out... 421 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:42,997 Oh, my God. Mm. What? Dad. 422 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,197 What? What is it? Whoa, come on! 423 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,517 Who's...? 424 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,517 Don't look at that. I... whatev... Just don't look at it. 425 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:52,237 Whatever you're into, there is no judgment. I'm not into that. 426 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:53,597 What would that even be? 427 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,637 It's a rash, OK? I had to take a picture to send to my GP. 428 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,877 Can we just... Well, why did you take so many? 429 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,317 Cos I couldn't see what was going on down there. Oh. 430 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,317 So, I had to just... It's the arse, is it? 431 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:06,357 Yes, it's the arse, OK? Oh, I see. But it's OK. 432 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,797 Can we just focus on the smart locks, please, Jon... 433 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:10,157 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh! ..Boy. 434 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,917 Oatmeal bath. You need to do one. Trust me. 435 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,717 What, is this about the escape rooms again? 436 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,317 Cos I really don't want to know. 437 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,717 Escape room? No, no, this is bum-related. 438 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:22,117 Yeah, yeah, yeah, my grandad - same problem. All right? 439 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,317 I mean, look, his weren't as angry as yours - 440 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,637 oatmeal bath, sorted it right out. OK. 441 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,837 I'll, erm, I'll check it - how old's your grandad? 442 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:31,517 Oh, do you know what, there's actually a water level in 443 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:34,157 the escape room - he's 86 - you sort of like, y-you're fishing. 444 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:35,997 Yeah, can we focus on the locks again, please? 445 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,597 Yeah, yeah, no, no, but you've got this sort of magnetic fishing stick. 446 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:40,797 Rod. Yeah, yeah, yeah, rod. I don't want to know. 447 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,517 A-And you've sort of got to get Pharaoh's coins from the well, 448 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:44,917 and... I don't... Yeah. OK. 449 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,837 Wow, bruv, that is - no, that's not OK, you know? 450 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:51,477 Nah, that is bad, innit? 451 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:54,117 Aggressive. Aggre... 452 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,117 We don't know... Do you want to zoom in on that? Yeah. 453 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,637 So, how many fobs do we get? 454 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:00,677 ROBIN: Rache! 455 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,637 Robin. Robin! You OK? Robin, yes, no, we're locked in! 456 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,517 And we've had a barbecue stolen. 457 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,797 SAM: And the escape room starts in five minutes. Five minutes. 458 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,197 OK, don't worry, I've got this! I'm going to jemmy the lock. 459 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:12,077 Jimmy how? Yeah. What does that mean? 460 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:15,557 Just a case of, er, sliding in the old flexible friend... 461 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,797 What friend? Great. You've got a fiend? His card. 462 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,877 ...and then, er, and then, finding the biting point... 463 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:21,037 OK, hurry up, then. 464 00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:24,317 ...and then, carefully easing open the, erm... 465 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:25,437 Oh. 466 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,797 Oh. Oh. Mm. Ah. 467 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:30,317 That one's snapped, Robin. Yeah, cheers. I know. 468 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,557 Don't worry, I'll just use the old American Express. 469 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:33,597 That'll do nicely. 470 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,597 Don't break all your cards, you bell, you need it. 471 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:37,557 No, I know, don't worry, babe, it's just, look, 472 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:38,837 I went in at the wrong angle last time. 473 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:40,597 Here we go, find that biting point. 474 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:44,197 That's it, looking good. And then, just very gently just... 475 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,197 Oh! Oh. 476 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:47,317 You bell. 477 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,277 OK, erm, anyone got any cards they can put through the letterbox? 478 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,877 Well, not any that we want snapped, no. Erm... 479 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,237 Just barge it down, Robin. 480 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:57,197 Oh, gosh, really, Cherry? Yeah. Barge it down? Mm. 481 00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,677 Can you do that, Robin? Can you barge it? Yeah. 482 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,237 Oh, I can barge it. 483 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:02,997 Don't you worry about that, yeah, 484 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,077 a bit of the old onion bhaji, no problemo. 485 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:06,877 Erm... SHE CHUCKLES 486 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:09,317 AMY: I mean, judging by his previous goes, he'll probably just 487 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,317 snap himself in two. Oh, the whole door. 488 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,397 Right, everyone stand back! OK, Sam, get back, come on. 489 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:14,997 I mean, do we want the door barged down? 490 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,197 Well not really, no, but I don't know how else we can do it. 491 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:20,437 Art Nouveau, that is. Incoming! Ahhh! 492 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,640 Oh! Ah! Argh! 493 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:25,957 CHERRY: It didn't work. 494 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,757 Yeah, we got that, Cherry, thanks. You all right, Robin? 495 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,237 No. Mm-hm. Agh! 496 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,757 Can you not just, like, open a window, or something? 497 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:34,517 Well, no, cos they're all smart-locked. 498 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,957 But, I mean, unless one of them was already open. 499 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,037 The bathroom window's open. SAM: Really? 500 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:41,957 I opened it when I ran my oatmeal bath, cos it was so steamy. 501 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:44,397 Well, we can't jump out, it's on the first floor! 502 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,517 ROBIN: Well, yeah, but I can jump in, climb in. 503 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,317 Can you? Big time. 504 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,637 I can wander round the back, and then, incy-wincy-spider my way 505 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,517 up the water spout. Oh, amazing. Job's a good 'un, OK. 506 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,437 It's all coming together. That's great! 507 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,317 Cherry, you get in the car, drive to the high street, 508 00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,157 and see if you can find Mum. My mum. Right. 509 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,757 Robin, you shimmy up the water spout. Yeah. 510 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,477 Rachel, Amy, you look for the fob. Go, go, go! 511 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,437 What? Stop bossing us around, we're a team. Why are you bossy? 512 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,397 You're not in charge. Yeah! Well, I am hereby taking charge. 513 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,437 What do you mean you're "hereby taking charge"? 514 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,597 Rachel, baby, some people thrive in a crisis, OK? 515 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,677 And some people get startled, and, I'm not being horrible, 516 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,677 they melt, and you, if we're being honest, are a melter. 517 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,280 So, just follow my lead. I got this. 518 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,197 Well. Unbelievable. 519 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:30,557 Grasp the frame! Be careful! You can do this, Robin. 520 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,317 Go on, Robin. Yes! I've got you! Don't... don't drop him. 521 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,757 I've got you, should you fall. Oh, careful, careful. 522 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,877 Oh, you are an absolute hero. Come on! Come on! 523 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:42,757 Ha-ha! Oh, yeah! He's in, yeah! Ha-ha! Yeah! 524 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:47,077 How does this actually help? Having Robin in here, as well? 525 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:48,757 I'm not sure, actually. 526 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:51,117 Well, better to be inside the tent pissing out 527 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:52,677 than outside the tent pissing in. 528 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,477 Mm, why are you pissing at all in this tent metaphor? 529 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,877 I do need a widdle. Oh, OK. Do you? I suppose, yeah, after that, 530 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,437 so if I could ask you to erm... Let's all go, shall we? 531 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:01,277 Oh, Dad! Your dressing gown, again. 532 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,757 Oh! Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, my God. Oh! Oh! 533 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,357 I am well sweaty after that, as well, 534 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:06,837 if I can just borrow some deo. 535 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:08,717 While the cat's away. Yes, of course. 536 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,357 Oh, that's pepper spray, Robin! 537 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,917 What? Oh, God! Oh, oh, argh, argh, argh, argh! 538 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,517 Aargh! Argh, argh! Don't breathe it in! Aargh! 539 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:18,957 Don't breathe, Sam! Oh, God, I'm so sorry, Robin! 540 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:23,757 Aargh! Aargh! Go, Sam! Move, everything! Everything! No! 541 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:27,757 Aargh! Argh, my pits! Well, they're the pits. 542 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:30,077 Ow, ow, ow. They've gone bright red. Have they? Yeah. 543 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,197 I mean, you can have some of my oatmeal, if you like. 544 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:33,717 Thanks, mate, your what? I'm not hungry. 545 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,197 What you talking about? My oatmeal bath, there's some 546 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:37,797 sloppy bits at the bottom and... 547 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,957 ...and there's some in the kitchen, you know, 548 00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:41,517 it worked wonders on my bum rash. It did, it did. 549 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,837 Was your bum rash this red, was it? Well, it was... like that. Yeah. 550 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:46,157 Oh, God... Ahh! 551 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:49,317 Oh, my God, why are your privates everywhere I look?! It's the sash! 552 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:50,357 Why? Why? Why? 553 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:52,837 And the bottom is not one of the privates, Amy. 554 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:56,597 Well, none of us want that public, so can you just... cover up? 555 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,757 Yeah, put it away. MUFFLED CLATTERING 556 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,757 SAM: What's that noise? Oh! 557 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:02,837 Is someone in the garden? What? What? Is there? 558 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,077 ROBIN: Oh, I did leave the side gate open, I think, actually. 559 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:09,117 Oh, come on, Robin. Oh, my God. Whoa! Dad! Huh? 560 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:11,157 No! No! Not the other egg! 561 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,477 Oh, no. Not the other egg! SAM: Dad, dressing gown! 562 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:15,517 TEARFULLY: Not - oh! Don't look at me. 563 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:16,917 Oh, my God. Oh! 564 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,397 Th-They need to be strung up, the thieving bloody scumbags! 565 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,877 I thought criminals were victims of circumstance and deserve compassion? 566 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,277 Yeah. Except when they're stealing from us, obviously. 567 00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:27,957 I mean... And he did take that barbecue. 568 00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:29,237 No, that does help a tiny bit. 569 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:32,237 Oh, God. Oh, so what's the plan, then? 570 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,037 Seeing as you're in charge. 571 00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,517 Yeah, I'm phoning the police now. 572 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,717 Hi, hello, police, please. 573 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,077 Yeah, and actually, also fire brigade. 574 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,357 And ambulance, Paulo. What, really? 575 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:44,677 Wouldn't say no, yeah. 576 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:47,997 And an ambulance, it - yeah, it's the full house. 577 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:51,597 W-Well, we're locked in, my brother-in-law has peppered 578 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:55,637 sprayed his armpits, and we've had two big green eggs stolen. 579 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:57,637 Two eggs stolen. So, it's all three. 580 00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:58,917 Eggs. 581 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,637 No, I'm fine, they're barbecues. 582 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,557 Oh, my God! There it is! 583 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:03,957 What, the fob? It's the fob! 584 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,517 Oh! Hallelujah! Hold the line! 585 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,597 We might be all right. Oh, she's found it. 586 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:08,917 Found the flag! 587 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,397 Oh. Oh. 588 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:11,637 Oh, for God's sake, Amy. 589 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:14,637 What? I know that's what you wanted. I can finally finish it. 590 00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:16,237 God. False alarm. 591 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,797 Yeah, false alarm. Oh, God. We're still locked in. 592 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,397 Although the oatmeal seems to be working very well. 593 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,837 Oh, yeah. Oh, use a spoon, Robin. Yeah, oh, sorry. 594 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,917 Oatmeal, my brother-in-law is putting oatmeal on his burns. 595 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,037 Tell them it's soothing. It's soothing. Yeah. 596 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:31,677 No, it's still very much an emergency. Yeah. 597 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:35,437 Yeah, well, I am meant to be solving an escape room, literally right now. 598 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,837 We! We are! It's not just you! 599 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,917 We're meant to do the escape room together. As a team! 600 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:45,000 TIM: How can I help you? Ahh! Oh, no! AHHHH! 601 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:52,240 What have you done? 602 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:55,877 I'm so sorry. 603 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:57,477 I didn't mean to. 604 00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:00,437 Erm... startled by Tim. 605 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,197 Oh. Yeah. 606 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,877 Yeah, no, my wife just knocked over the Eiffel Tower. 607 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,357 Oh, Amy... Yeah. 608 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,677 No, the Lego one, I'm not mad. 609 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:09,717 Yeah. 610 00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:12,757 Although, I am actually a policeman, if that makes a difference here? 611 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:15,197 It won't. No? OK, cool, cool. 612 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:16,517 This is... this is still... 613 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,277 I mean, why did you even turn Tim on? 614 00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:19,877 I didn't, I said "team". 615 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:22,157 TIM: How can I help you? Shut up, Tim! 616 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:24,397 To remind your dad that we need to work together. 617 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,437 It's his fault, in a way. ROBIN: Team! Yeah. 618 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:27,597 TIM: How can I help you? 619 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:30,077 I actually know a Bulgarian called Team, I should've got that. 620 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,957 Well, the police aren't coming, which means we have to wait for Mum, 621 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:34,757 which means we're going to miss the escape room. 622 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:36,117 SAM: You're just going to give up? 623 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,397 Well, I just don't think there's anything we can do, Sam. 624 00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:42,157 Hang on, hang on, wait a minute. Er, Tim - er, Team... 625 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:43,837 TIM: How can I help you? 626 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:46,397 Er, Robin, he listens to everything we say, right? 627 00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,717 Er, well, when he's on, yeah, why? 628 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:50,757 Team? How can I help you? 629 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:54,037 Do you remember hearing anyone say where they were putting a fob? 630 00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:56,277 In the last couple of days? 631 00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:58,477 Checking entries for fob. 632 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,117 Thursday, at 9.26am. 633 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:05,997 "Now everyone, listen, I'm putting the fobs in the jar by the sink," 634 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:09,277 "Rachel, Amy, are you listening to me?" 635 00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:12,157 "Would anyone like a Wagon Wheel?" 636 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:13,197 No way. 637 00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:16,677 Oh! Yeah! Oh, Rachel, you're a genius! That's amazing. 638 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:18,997 I can't believe it! I can't believe I did it! 639 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:20,437 I'm so sorry I called you a melter. 640 00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,357 That's all right, but don't do it again. 641 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:26,557 Mwah, I love you, happy anniversary. That's nice. Oh! 642 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,557 I said we make a great team! He did! 643 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:30,037 TIM: How can I help you? 644 00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:31,557 AMY: I mean, it is really creepy 645 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:32,877 he listens to everything, isn't it? 646 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,477 No, it's appalling, we'll have to put it in the bin. 647 00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:36,437 PHONE VIBRATES Thanks. Uh-oh, that's the locksmith. 648 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:39,037 HE CHUCKLES Hello, Jon Boy! 649 00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:41,717 Hang on, this doesn't mean we're still doing the escape room? 650 00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,117 I'll put you on speaker while I put my pants on. Surely? 651 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,077 OK, so we rotate the pyramid... 652 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,917 JON BOY: Yeah, and, er, a little blue bug thing drops out. 653 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,957 A scarab beetle, sure. Yeah. What do we do next, then, Jon Boy? 654 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,317 Then you put the beetle in the alligator's eye socket. 655 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,477 It's a crocodile, it would be a crocodile in Egypt. 656 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,717 Sorry, why do we need to know all this before going in? 657 00:25:58,800 --> 00:25:59,917 Hang on, please, Jon Boy. 658 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,997 Because we only have 15 minutes to complete it, 659 00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:03,597 and we really want to win that medal. 660 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:05,157 Right, yeah, the medal, obviously. 661 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,437 Can we not just rebook it and do it again properly? 662 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,357 No, no, no, this is much better, let's get it over with. 663 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,517 We're on an escaping from places roll anyway. 664 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:12,557 ALL: Yeah! 665 00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:15,117 Yeah, sorry to be a buzz kill, but I'm wondering if I should go to 666 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,437 the hospital after all, just pits-wise? You'll be fine. 667 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,837 Carry on, big boy. Jon Boy! Jon Boy. 668 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:21,997 JON BOY: So, there's this viper, which is like a padlock. 669 00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:23,117 An asp, go on. Go on. 670 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,157 So, you turn his body so the pattern matches. 671 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,717 ROBIN: They're crusting over, I think. Crusting? 672 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:30,077 JON BOY: ..and unlock the ancient, you know, safe. 673 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,397 I think we'll be all right, actually, Jon Boy. 674 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,557 Eh? What do you mean? Oh, yeah? Ah. 675 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,637 Has she... Has she escaped? 676 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:38,517 Where've you lot been? 677 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:42,117 I did it in record time, look! SHE LAUGHS 678 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,680 Oh! Oh. AMY: Huh. 679 00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,397 So, what do we do, then? 680 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:50,360 Erm, I suppose... 681 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,197 ...Lego Eiffel Tower? 682 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,677 Ha-ha, yes! Yes! Yeah! Let's do it. 683 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:57,797 THEY LAUGH 684 00:26:57,880 --> 00:26:59,637 JON BOY: Hell yeah, bruv, I'm down for some Lego! 685 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:00,917 Not you, Jon Boy. 686 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,080 MUSIC: Trapped by Colonel Abrams