"Here We Go" Mum's Bad Tooth

1 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:06,000 You're not ticklish at all? Nothing. 2 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,797 There's shell in there. 3 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:12,917 You've got to go to Stonehenge. Strong recommend. 4 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:16,557 Where is she? Hurry up, Sue, or I'll be late for the dentist! 5 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:20,917 Oh, all right, Rachel, but I've got to put me DVDs in their sheaths. 6 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,917 Oh, my God. Now, Paul, I didn't rewind them, 7 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,877 but that's fine with DVDs, isn't it? 8 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,637 Yes, Mum, we've been through this. 9 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:29,397 Oh, look, Mum, the under offer thing's gone 10 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:30,717 from next door's for sale sign. 11 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:33,557 Oh, no! Does that mean it's no longer under offer? 12 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:35,477 I don't know. I mean, it might have blown off. 13 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:37,197 Oh, have they pulled out? 14 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:39,877 Well, they can't have pulled out. They can't have pulled out! 15 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,557 They won't have pulled out. No way. No way. 16 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:44,717 We can go via the estate agent and ask them, 17 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,277 as long as we leave right now. 18 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:48,237 CLATTERING Come on. Paul, I've dropped them! 19 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:50,437 There's one rolling down the drive. 20 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:51,960 Ooh, I'm coming. 21 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:54,357 What do they look like? 22 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:56,637 He's very smart, and her coat's very orange. Ah. 23 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,557 I've only seen them from behind. 24 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,677 So, Dutch, maybe. 25 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,677 What are you doing? Sh, sh, sh. It's OK. Get over here. 26 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,117 Listen, there are some potentially Dutch people 27 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,157 who have made an offer next door, so we're just trying to... 28 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:09,197 Scare them off? 29 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,117 No. No, spy on them... a bit. Find out who they are. 30 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:12,917 Right. Ah! SUE INHALES SHARLY 31 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,917 What? Oh, my tooth hurts when I do that. 32 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,077 So don't do that. Oh, thank you. Thank you, Amy, great advice. 33 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:19,477 SAM: Well, just go to a dentist. 34 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,917 Aren't you supposed to be at school? No, it's a study day. 35 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,597 Well, go and study, then. I am, I'm doing film studies. 36 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:26,677 I have to make a 15-second horror film. 37 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:28,197 Just film Dad eating a doughnut. 38 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:29,957 PAUL: Oh, yeah, very funny, Amy. 39 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:31,917 Lots of people suck the jam out first. 40 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,597 It's not that weird. It is. 41 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,357 Why have you got your suitcase open? 42 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:37,277 Oh. Are you moving back in? 43 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:39,717 What? No, of course not. 44 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,237 No, Granny said she'd do my ironing. 45 00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:42,477 Yeah, I did. 46 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:46,077 Which ones are the horror films again, Sammy? Is it like Titanic? 47 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:47,557 SAM: It's like... Have you seen It? 48 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:49,517 What, Titanic? No, no. It. 49 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,197 PAUL: Or The Thing, Mum. Have you seen The Thing? 50 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:52,877 What thing? Where did you put it? 51 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:54,677 Oh, just forget it. SAM CHUCKLES 52 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,477 Maybe I'll get some for my film club with Prudence. 53 00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:58,917 Bedsheets? Are you kidding? 54 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,717 You're not getting your bedsheets ironed like you're Kim Jong-un. 55 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,757 Yeah. All right, fine. And knickers. 56 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:06,037 I mean, who gets knickers ironed, for goodness' sake? 57 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:07,997 Those are Maya's. Oh, are they? 58 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:09,837 Mm-hm. So put them down! 59 00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:12,117 I am. I have. I'm not touching Maya's panties. 60 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,397 Panties? Oh, God. 61 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:14,997 Pants. Knicknocks. Never say panties. 62 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,557 Yeah, this is all Maya's, actually. 63 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,757 I don't have anything that needs ironing. I don't have a job. 64 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:20,637 And she's been doing overtime recently 65 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,117 because we've got quite a few bills... And you don't have a job. 66 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,637 Yeah. So I'm trying to find nice things that I can do for her, 67 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:26,917 do you know what I mean? Do this. Mm. 68 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,237 Paul, should I iron your tabard? 69 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,637 It's a tactical vest, Mum, not a tabard. 70 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:34,037 I'm a policeman, not a bloomin' dinner lady. 71 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:35,557 SAM: Lady? What? 72 00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:37,637 PAUL: Man. Dinner man. 73 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:39,717 Yes. No, I don't want you to iron creases 74 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:41,557 into my tactical vest, please. 75 00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:43,677 The other officers already think I'm a bit... square. 76 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:45,237 DOORBELL RINGS Doorbell! 77 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:46,717 SAM: You're the closest to the door, Mum. 78 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:47,917 Yeah, but I've got a bad tooth. 79 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,077 PAUL: You only have to answer it. 80 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:50,557 You don't have to eat your way through it. 81 00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:52,277 SAM: Yeah, exactly. Oh, my God. 82 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,957 Can I invite Maya to pizza night on Wednesday? 83 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:56,917 Why? So you can have a free dinner? 84 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,717 No, to cheer her up. 85 00:02:58,800 --> 00:02:59,957 Well, both. Mm. 86 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:01,237 Cherry! CHERRY: Hiya. 87 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:03,117 ROBIN: Watch out for the bump, please. 88 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,317 The lovely lady lump. 89 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,517 All right, all? Bump coming through. 90 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:07,997 Oh, Cheryl! 91 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:09,877 It's a boy. I can tell. 92 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,077 PAUL: No, you can't. 93 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:13,637 CHERRY: Oh, it feels like a whole bunch of boys, to be honest, though. 94 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:15,957 There is so much kicking. I mean, there really is. 95 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,157 It's like she's got the cast of Riverdance down there. It is. 96 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,837 They're coming out again, Paul. 97 00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:21,797 They're...? What? They're coming out. 98 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:24,157 Oh, we've got some Dutch people moving in next door. 99 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:26,317 Oh, Holland. Yes, Holland. 100 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:27,997 Any reason you're here, Robin? 101 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,357 He wants sponsorship for his bungee jump. 102 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,517 AMY: Bungee jump? You're going bungee jumping? 103 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:33,757 ROBIN: Boi-oi-oi-oi-oing. 104 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,837 Stop doing that. I'm so sorry. Yes, I am. Yes. 105 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:38,837 I want to do as mad shit as I can before the baby slides out. 106 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:40,597 So if you'd care to sponsor me... 107 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:43,197 Go on, then, Robin. I'll give you £1 a bounce. 108 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,837 Oh, it should only be one bounce, ideally, 109 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,637 but, thanks, Sue, that's... kind. 110 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:48,717 You doing it, too, Cheryl? 111 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,517 CHERRY: Is that a joke? 112 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:51,797 I've just had my hair done. 113 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:54,237 Exactly. And you're heavily pregnant. 114 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,637 Oh. What? Heavily? 115 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:58,917 As in, you know, you're eight months pregnant. 116 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,757 You look fantastic on it. 117 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,917 Oh, that is true. Yeah. 118 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,517 And the baby would probably come out when I boing back. 119 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,397 ROBIN AND PAUL LAUGH Yeah, that's true. Yeah. 120 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:10,717 Good one! And the old umbilical cord - nature's bungee rope, innit? 121 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:13,037 SAM: Can I film it? I need stuff for my horror film. 122 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:14,517 Oh, yeah, just a bit, Spielberg. 123 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,237 So, it's 10am, Saturday, Box End Park. 124 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:19,197 Hang on. Horror film? 125 00:04:19,280 --> 00:04:21,757 What? Why? It's not... It's not dangerous, is it? 126 00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:23,277 No. No. Probably not. 127 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:24,797 I'll check... PAUL: Don't check. 128 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:28,117 ...on www.Google.co.uk. 129 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,237 Just say "Google". 130 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:31,277 Come with me and Graham to the death metal gig on Thursday 131 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:32,357 if you want horror, Sam. 132 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,357 Someone threw a dead pigeon onstage last time. 133 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,997 ROBIN: Oh, yes. I'll have a bit of that. 134 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:37,557 I've never been to a death metal gig. 135 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,877 It's saying bungee jumps can make your eyes pop out. 136 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:41,917 CHERRY: What? 137 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,957 No. No. I do not want that. 138 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,317 Well, I don't want that. 139 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,637 I don't want to be married to... Popeye. 140 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,277 I won't get Popeye. I doubt I'll get Popeye. 141 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:51,917 I mean, it's a health and safety nightmare. 142 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,837 Oh, God, here we go. PC Gone Mad reporting for duty. 143 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,357 ROBIN: Oh, that is witty. I like that. 144 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,797 I'm just saying it's dangerous, Amy. I'm not being PC. 145 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:00,917 OK, fine. You're being boring. ROBIN CHUCKLES 146 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,957 I hardly think pointing out the potential risks 147 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,597 of a leisure activity makes someone... boring. 148 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,677 That's why the police hide you in the basement, 149 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:08,957 so no-one has to talk to you. 150 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:11,317 They don't hide me, thank you. 151 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,517 I am manning the evidence store. 152 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,077 MOCKING: "I'm running the evidence store." 153 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,997 Oh, Paul, are the other boys picking on you? 154 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,117 Well, no, they're just... just a bit angry with me, you know? 155 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,317 AMY: What? Why? 156 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,317 I told one of the Jamies about his leaving do, 157 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,357 and it turns out it was supposed to be a surprise, 158 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,357 so I ruined it, sadly. 159 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,477 One of the Jamies? Yeah. 160 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:30,877 How many Jamies are there? 161 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,157 There's four! All right. There's four Jamies. 162 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:35,757 That's a lot of Jamies. It's so confusing. Yeah. 163 00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:38,997 And they're all so, like, hunky and spunky. What? 164 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,557 So I guess they consider me to be sort of older and... 165 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:42,837 AMY: Boringer. 166 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,957 Stop saying boring. I am not boring! 167 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,080 Am I? 168 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:52,917 ROBIN: No. 169 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:56,917 I mean... Oh, my God, guys, that was, like, five seconds. 170 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,917 You're not THAT boring, Paul. "That"?! 171 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:03,757 What do you mean, "that"? There's no need for the "that", Mum. 172 00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:06,437 "You're not boring, Paul," will do. 173 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:09,597 I mean, I'm a former Olympian, for goodness' sake. 174 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:12,157 Some of the most boring people on the planet. Carry on. 175 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,077 You've got some funny stories. 176 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:16,917 CHERRY: Has he? 177 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:20,957 SUE: Er... Er, the pizza one. Yeah. Yeah. That's quite funny. 178 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,517 Yeah, the pizza one. It's REALLY funny. 179 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,197 OK, I'll tell you what, Paulo, 180 00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:27,157 join me on the bungee cord on Saturday morning. 181 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:29,397 Nothing boring about that, mate. Problem solved. 182 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:30,717 It's not a problem! 183 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,637 Oh, my God. Rachel, am I boring? 184 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:33,797 Yeah. 185 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:36,157 It's Susie and Joe. The people buying next door. 186 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:38,357 Do you remember Susie and Joe? They don't sound very Dutch. 187 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,597 No, they're not Dutch. They had a son that went to school with Amy, 188 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:42,437 but then he left to go to a different senior school, 189 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,117 so we lost touch. What, Milo's parents? 190 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,877 Milo. Yes, exactly. 191 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:49,237 I always felt me and Susie had a real connection. 192 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,917 I really felt that we were meant to be special friends. 193 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,637 Susie and Joe... Yeah. 194 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,397 Oh, didn't we do the school quiz with them? Yes! 195 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,117 Yes. Do you remember? Yeah. They were great. 196 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,517 Can you imagine if they move in next door? Oh-ho-ho! 197 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:02,117 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We should go and invite them over! 198 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:03,357 Oh, my God, really? Do you think so? 199 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,157 Yeah. Yeah, if they're going to be our neighbours. 200 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:07,357 I mean, you should go and invite them over one night this week! 201 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,237 Oh, my God. OK, I'm going to bloody do it. Oh, my God. 202 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:11,597 Susie. Me and Susie. Susie and Rachel. 203 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:13,557 Oh, my God! Yeah, go. I'm so excited about this. 204 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:15,437 RACHEL GIGGLES 205 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:16,477 ROBIN: Wow. 206 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:17,917 There's no jam in this doughnut. 207 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,877 SAM: Yeah, that's... Really dry. 208 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:20,997 Mm. 209 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:22,437 AMY: Yeah, er... 210 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:24,040 PAUL: OK, as quick as we can. Yes, yes. 211 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:27,637 Hello. Hi. 212 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:30,917 Sorry. We were just after some information. 213 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,277 Erm... Oh. OK. 214 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:34,920 Hiya. Hello. Hello. 215 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,197 Good day. OK. 216 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:38,920 Uh, hi. Hello. 217 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:43,237 Hi. We're just here to ask about the house on Pin Oak Court. 218 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:44,597 37 Pin Oak? Yes. 219 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:45,917 Yep, no problem. What's your name? 220 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,277 Oh, no, no, no, we're not stopping. 221 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,557 I've got... I'm late for a dentist appointment, so... Yeah. 222 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,157 Is it... Is it back on the market? Yeah. 223 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,237 Only the under offer strip's been removed from the sign, 224 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:54,717 so we just wanted to know what was going on. Yeah. 225 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,197 Yeah, no problem. If you just give me an email address, 226 00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,837 we can start your property search for you. We're not searching... 227 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:02,117 No, we're not, we're not looking for a property... for a property. 228 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,357 That's not why we're... No, we are the next door neighbours 229 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,797 in Pin Oak Court, and we just need to know if number 37 230 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,557 is under offer or not. Yeah, that's literally all we need to... Yeah. 231 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:13,157 No problem. So, four-bedroom houses with outside space, ideally, is it? 232 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:14,717 Oh. Oh, my God, no. 233 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:17,197 No, no, no, no. We're just literally asking about this house. 234 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,157 Exactly. So if you could just tell us, 235 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,197 is 37 Pin Oak Court still under offer? 236 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:24,597 Is it still under offer? That's the only reason we're here. 237 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,397 Yeah. Please tell us. 238 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:28,837 No problem. So, what shall I put down for budget? 239 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,797 Oh, my gosh. We're not... £100 million. 240 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:33,637 Well, that's nuts. 241 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,157 What, really? Yeah. 242 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:36,757 OK. Yeah, I'm a cash buyer. 243 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:39,117 I'd like to buy 37 Pin Oak Court 244 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,437 for £100 million. £100 million, all right. 245 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,717 Well, yeah. Can you just please tell us... Up front. 246 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,637 ...if it's under offer or not? 247 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,077 No problem at all. So, let's start with your email. 248 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:52,557 Start? It feels like we've been talking for, honestly, 15 years. 249 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:54,917 Definitely going to be late now for my dentist appointment. Yeah. 250 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,877 So we... Is it under offer? 251 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,357 Is it? Why did the strip come down? 252 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:00,560 Why is it off? Please just tell us. Is it under offer? 253 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,757 Paul.Jonathan.jessop@proton.me. No, don't give them your email. 254 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:07,717 Buyers pulled out a couple of days ago. 255 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:10,440 Right, thank you. Did they say why? 256 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:14,317 I think we know why. 257 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,437 It might not definitely be me, Rach! 258 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,237 I don't understand it, you know? 259 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,917 I've been telling everyone at the station about my bungee jump, 260 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,237 and I'm getting nothing. Nobody cares. 261 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,077 Well, you know, you can't force it. PHONE VIBRATES 262 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:27,957 Oh. What? Who is it? 263 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:29,597 Who is it? It's the Dentist Bastard. 264 00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:32,917 OK. Oh, I missed my appointment with him yesterday. 265 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,317 What? You've been waiting ages for that. Yeah. 266 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,157 Why is the dentist a bastard? 267 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:40,597 Well, because he puts metal things in my mouth and it hurts. 268 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:41,957 So, because he's a dentist? 269 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,797 Yes. The bastard. 270 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:45,677 Anyway, I don't need to see him now. Why? 271 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:47,957 Because, er, it's gone away, the pain. Gone away? 272 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:49,517 Yeah. I'm not sure that's how it works... 273 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:50,677 Well, no, it's... with teeth. 274 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:52,357 I think it can. I think I think they can heal. 275 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:53,797 I don't think they can, Mum. 276 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,357 DOORBELL RINGS Doorbell! 277 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,877 Oh! Oh, that'll be Joe and Susie! 278 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,640 It's not! It's Maya! 279 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,757 Hi. Maya, how are you doing? 280 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:04,597 Hey. Yeah, good, good. 281 00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:05,837 I'm just exhausted. Oh. 282 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,157 And there's some people snooping around the house next door, 283 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:09,277 by the way. Oh. 284 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:12,357 Oh, no. No, that's Susie and Joe. They're coming here for dinner. 285 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:13,677 Paul, they're here! 286 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:14,997 Um, how do I look? 287 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,077 Just... Tense... made an effort with the... Why are you so tense? 288 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:19,797 They know the people moving in next door, 289 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,197 so Mum's excited they might finally have some friends. 290 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:24,677 No. We have friends, thank you. I think that's unfair. 291 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:26,037 Mm, Robin and Cherry don't count. 292 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,477 Er, no, Amy, we have friends. We've got... 293 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:31,157 Each other. Well, no, that's tragic. We've got... 294 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:32,317 FAINT SCREAMING I've got Debra. 295 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:33,597 SAM: Is that... What is that noise? 296 00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:35,917 Oh, it's Prudence and your grandmother. Sorry. 297 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,437 RACHEL: Er, Sarah. Who's Sarah? You don't remember Sarah? 298 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:39,837 No. You haven't spoken to her for ages, Mum. 299 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:41,797 Can we turn it down, please, Mum? It's... 300 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:43,677 Whoa, whoa! 301 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:45,677 WHIRRING What even is that? 302 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:47,477 The Human Centipede. 303 00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:49,237 MUFFLED SCREAMING, DRILLING 304 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:52,117 Well, can you lower the volume, please? We've got guests coming. 305 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:55,917 No, Prue won't be able to hear it if it's lower than this. 306 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:56,997 Really? I won't. 307 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:58,637 Is it a pirate DVD, Granny? 308 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:00,437 No, it's a horror one. 309 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:03,477 No, I mean... Sorry, as in, where did you get them all from? 310 00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:09,637 Oh, you know Ken, the chap who sells movies out the back of his car 311 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,397 in the boating lake car park? 312 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,557 OK, well, then, they're definitely pirate DVDs, 313 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,357 and that's a crime, Mum! 314 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:19,837 MOCKING: That's a crime, Mum! Stop committing crimes. 315 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,397 I do not speak like that, Amy! Yes, you do. 316 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,197 RACHEL: They're here, they're here! I'm not boring! 317 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:25,397 Oh, God. DOORBELL RINGS 318 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,597 No, no, no, don't answer the door straight away, that's... 319 00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:28,917 Susie, hi. 320 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,637 Hi. Joe. Hi. Susie. 321 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,677 We were just near the door, we weren't waiting for you. 322 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,637 Just... I forgot you were coming. PAUL CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY 323 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,477 No, I mean... Come on in. Yeah, come on, come on. 324 00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:42,837 Sorry, we're so on time. We were just having another look next door. 325 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:44,317 Check out our new house. 326 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:45,837 Fingers crossed. Oh, fingers crossed. 327 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:47,637 Everything crossed. Everything crossed. 328 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,597 Everything crossed. X factor. 329 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:51,957 Oh, thank you. Thank you for shutting the door. 330 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:53,640 Nice to see you. Hello. 331 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,917 Oh. Sorry, I didn't mean to kiss your neck. 332 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,037 This is my partner, Paul... Hey, Paul... who you've met. 333 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:00,277 Joe. Nice to meet you. 334 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:01,957 Hi. Nice to see you. 335 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:03,917 I thought you were Dutch. 336 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,397 And, uh... Yeah. When? 337 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:07,717 Because... 338 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,397 No, no. 339 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,197 Rach, take it away. 340 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:14,677 Uh, well, Amy, you know, from year six... 341 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,637 Well, she's grown a little bit now. Come over here. 342 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,117 Hello. Grown up. 343 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:19,397 Very tall. Yeah. Very tall. 344 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,397 And Maya, her girlfriend, also very tall. 345 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:23,517 Very tall. Why are kids so tall these days? 346 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,477 Yeah, why are they? I mean, you know, if they... 347 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:26,917 I mean, they might not be, all of them. 348 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,557 I mean, I'd be very interested to see the stats. 349 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:30,917 I would be. Genuinely. 350 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,477 This is our youngest. Hi. He has got a camera. 351 00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:35,357 He's got ADHD, tends to film everything. 352 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:37,357 Oh, right. I hope that's OK. I hope that's cool. Yeah. 353 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:40,157 Hi. Hello. Come on through. We ordered some pizzas. 354 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:42,037 Oh, go on. Get the hell in there. That's cool, right? 355 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:43,437 Love pizza, yeah. 356 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:44,837 Thank you. No, not in there! Not in there. 357 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:47,277 WHIRRING, SCREAMING Oh, God. 358 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:48,560 Sorry about that. 359 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,717 SAM: Just relax, Mum. 360 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:55,477 You were amazing, Joe, at the music round, I recall. 361 00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:58,397 Oh, yeah... Yes... well, you know, misspent youth. 362 00:12:58,480 --> 00:12:59,957 THEY LAUGH 363 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,717 Yeah. We were a good team, actually. 364 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,357 Oh, we were. We really were. 365 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,837 Oh, we can do quizzes all the time now you're next door. 366 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,277 Well, the deal's not done yet, but, you know... 367 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:12,117 Barbecues... I mean, this will be us from now on. 368 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,077 Glass of wine at four o'clock. 369 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,957 One o'clock, more like! Cheers. RACHEL LAUGHS 370 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:20,157 We can pull this wall down and make it one big house! 371 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,357 Well, that wouldn't be structurally safe. 372 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,117 No, it was a joke. Yeah. But we can put a door in. Can put a door in. 373 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:28,157 Yeah. So, do you still do the archery then, Paul? 374 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,237 Huh? Ah, yeah. 375 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:33,597 As in, no. No, I do not compete now. 376 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,197 No. But I am a policeman now. 377 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,517 Really? Big time, yeah. Yeah, no, he is. Yeah. 378 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,557 OK. Oh, hang on, you must know Jamie, then. Do you? 379 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:42,717 Um... 380 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,637 Yeah, my brother Jamie's a cop. 381 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:47,717 Yeah. Well, he's quitting next month to become a yoga teacher. 382 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:48,757 Wow. 383 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,157 AMY: Oh, yeah. Dad ruined his surprise leaving do. 384 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:53,397 Well, yeah, not on purpose I didn't, not deliberately. 385 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:55,917 I would never, erm... But, yeah, I know Jamie. 386 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,677 Yeah, I know Jamie. 387 00:13:57,760 --> 00:13:59,557 Really great smile, smells real good. 388 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:01,317 Yeah. Huge. What? Yeah. 389 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,437 He's got... He's a big guy. He's a big guy. 390 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,757 Yeah, he's... Yeah. I mean, yeah. 391 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,797 Is that a diamond earring? 392 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:11,557 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, just a midlife crisis, you know. 393 00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:13,477 RACHEL AND PAUL CHUCKLE Wouldn't know about those. 394 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,317 In jewellery form... Yeah. ..literally, you know. 395 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:17,717 Yeah. I'm turning 45 next week. 396 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,717 Oh, shame. It's no age. 397 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,517 Are you doing anything to celebrate or...? 398 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,197 No, we're... No. 399 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:26,677 These pizzas are delicious... Oh, thank you... by the way. 400 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:28,837 Yeah. A really nice, thin... 401 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:30,517 BAD ITALIAN ACCENT: ..Romana base. 402 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:31,677 SAM: What? 403 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:34,757 RACHEL: Yeah. And, um, some olive verde, 404 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,520 if anyone likes green olives. 405 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:41,077 Um... Italy, yeah. Yeah. 406 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:44,317 I, um, actually have a funny story about pizzas. Oh, no. 407 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:45,877 RACHEL LAUGHS Oh, yeah? 408 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,317 Good. This is good. Yeah. Yeah. 409 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,557 Um, yeah, well... 410 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:52,077 I mean, I once went to - well, we all did - 411 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,797 this... this pizza place in Hitchin. 412 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:57,557 All right. Mm. Mm. About five years ago now. 413 00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,917 We'd all been to the North Hertfordshire Museum. 414 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,157 Yeah. Yeah, it's great. 415 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:05,437 They've got some really interesting, um, displays about wool. 416 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:06,517 SAM: Oh, yeah. 417 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:11,677 About its value to the North Hertfordshire economy back in... 418 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:13,957 Well, through the ages, really. Yeah, but just get on with the... 419 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:17,357 Yeah, OK. Well, afterwards, I really fancied a pizza. 420 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:20,237 Well, we all did. Yeah. So we went to this place nearby 421 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,157 that from the outside looked perfectly nice, you know. 422 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:24,917 But on the inside... 423 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,637 Oh, no. Well, no, it was nice. 424 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:30,157 It was nice, as well, truth be told. 425 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:35,117 And this waiter comes over - he was a nice kid, young, not Italian - 426 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,917 and I ordered my pizza. Well, we all did. 427 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,597 And everyone's pizza arrived, and I was just sat waiting for mine. 428 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:42,717 Oh, God. 429 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,677 I mean, it was fine, it was probably like five minutes or so, 430 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:48,677 maybe even less. You know, three or four minutes. 431 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:52,477 And, in fact, Sam's pizza arrived late, as well. 432 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,317 So, you know, it wasn't an issue. 433 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,277 Get to the funny bit. Yeah, anyway... I am. 434 00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,597 Anyway... Erm... 435 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,237 So, eventually, and I still can't believe this... 436 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,157 RACHEL LAUGHS 437 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:07,917 ...my pizza arrived, the waiter brings it over, 438 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,837 big smile on his face, 439 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:12,520 and it... My pizza... 440 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:14,920 ...was square. 441 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:19,437 It was square. 442 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,480 Oh, right. Yeah. 443 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:26,437 Was it meant to be square? 444 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:27,837 I don't know. 445 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,360 I don't think so. No. 446 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:34,760 Nobody else's was, but mine was... mine was square. Square. 447 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,800 LIGHT SNORING 448 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:43,237 What is that noise? Can you hear that? 449 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:44,837 What is that noise? 450 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,277 Maya's asleep. 451 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:49,117 Oh. Oh, my goodness. Maya. 452 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,397 Maya. 453 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:51,677 Oh. Yeah, it's OK. Yeah. 454 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,117 You fell asleep during Dad's anecdote. 455 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,637 Oh. Shall we...? 456 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:58,077 Sorry. Understandable. Understandable. Sorry, everyone. 457 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:00,357 Pizza was square in the end. 458 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,837 Square pizza. Square pizza. Very unusual. 459 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:05,957 She's working really long hours. She really is. What a trouper. 460 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,797 That's why. That'll be why. Yeah. Yeah, it really is. Yeah. 461 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,757 Uh, anyone for an olive? 462 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:13,680 Doing a bungee jump next week. 463 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,077 I think Jamie has mentioned you, actually. 464 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,637 Yeah. Oh, yeah? 465 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:22,517 And, uh... Have an olive. Oh, no, I'm OK... in what way? 466 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,357 Sorry. 467 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,197 Ah! Ah! Sorry. Are you OK? 468 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,597 Ah! You all right? You OK? No. Sorry. 469 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,197 The stones are still in the... olives. 470 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:35,197 SAM: Oh, Mum, is that your tooth on Susie's pizza? 471 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,157 I think it is, actually. RACHEL: That really hurt. 472 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:39,037 Oh, my God. Yeah, it is. 473 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:41,557 Oh, that's horrible. What? Your tooth. Your tooth. 474 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,557 Oh, my... I'm so sorry, Susie. 475 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,597 No, no, no, it's fine, it's fine. It's just... 476 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:48,437 Oh, gosh. Yeah, maybe if you just... Shall I get that? 477 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,117 Yeah, if you just grab it, I think. Sorry. 478 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,437 Yeah, just grab it and then... 479 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,917 Oh, unless you... unless you want an extra topping. 480 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,797 I really don't. I shouldn't have done that, sorry. 481 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,957 Do you want to take it? No, I don't want to take it. 482 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,437 Eurgh! RACHEL LAUGHS NERVOUSLY 483 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:01,877 Don't film this, Sam! 484 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:03,717 RACHEL GROANS 485 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,597 God. 486 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:08,877 PAUL SIGHS You and your bloody square pizza. 487 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:10,597 We don't know why they pulled out, Rachel, OK? 488 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,357 Well, we do. We do. We do. 489 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,317 And your tooth fell out at the dinner table1 490 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:15,637 That could happen to anyone. 491 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,317 People who don't go to the dentist, mainly. 492 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,557 Yeah. That was funny. That was a good bit. 493 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,517 Losing a tooth was a good bit? 494 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,357 Well, you didn't help, Sam, filming them the whole time. Yeah. 495 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,237 Oh, well, don't blame Sammy. 496 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,517 Oh. Oh, OK. I'll blame you, then, Sue, 497 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:32,837 for showing them an absolutely disgusting horror film! Exactly! 498 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,477 I thought The Human Centipede 499 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,477 would be more like The Hungry Caterpillar, to be fair. 500 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:42,437 Hence returning them. This... This isn't the boating lake car park. 501 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:45,117 No, I know, Mum. We're just dropping Rachel off at the dentist, 502 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:48,317 and then I will take you to your pirate DVD man. 503 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,157 Ken. Yeah, right. 504 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:52,877 Well, I'll tell Prue to meet me here, then. 505 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,917 Can I film you in the dentist, Mum? 506 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,597 What? No. Why? 507 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:58,917 For my horror film. The death metal gig was useless. No. 508 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,997 Um, have you got Joe's number? 509 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,157 No, I... We're not calling them, Rachel. 510 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:04,637 No, I just... I need to get to Susie. 511 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,917 I need to explain that we're meant to be friends. 512 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,397 Just go and get your tooth fixed... OK, that's what I'm doing. 513 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:10,957 ...before you miss yet another appointment. 514 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,957 DOOR SLAMS Is the door shut? 515 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:16,680 DEATH METAL MUSIC PLAYS 516 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:20,597 SAM: I think... What? 517 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,797 SHOUTING: Not being... Not being negative, 518 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:26,517 but I hate this. It's awful. I have to... I have to go. 519 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:27,920 OK. 520 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,957 Put your foot down, Paul. 521 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:39,917 If Ken has gone home, we won't be able to return our DVDs. 522 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,637 Yes, all right, Mum! 523 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,037 It's not my fault. Don't blame me. 524 00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:45,597 We've been waiting ages for Rachel. 525 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,117 SLURRED: It was that Dentist Bastard, Sue. 526 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:50,877 He numbed your jaw, then, did he, Rachel? 527 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,317 He did much more than necessary, yes. 528 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,197 SAM, MOCKING: Nethethary. Oh, bless you. 529 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,037 Have we seen Saw II, Sue? 530 00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:59,397 I saw Saw II with you, Prue. 531 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,837 Are you sure? I thought we saw Saw. 532 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,677 We did see Saw, then we saw Saw II. 533 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:06,997 You saw Saw II, too, Prue. 534 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,557 Did I see Saw III, though? 535 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:09,757 Not with me, no. 536 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:12,917 Oh, my God, can we stop this, please? 537 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,917 It's like being in the car with Dr Seuss. 538 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,197 Right. Go on, then, you two. 539 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:22,320 Go and get a refund on your pirate DVDs, as if that's ever happened. 540 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,277 Is that the police? 541 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:28,637 Hmm? 542 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:29,957 What? The police? 543 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:31,997 PAUL GASPS It's one of the Jamies! 544 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:33,357 Oh, my God! 545 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:34,640 Mum! 546 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,277 QUIETLY: Come back, Mum! Come back! 547 00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,437 You what? Come back. 548 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:40,837 Why? 549 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,357 It's Ken. It's the police, they're raiding him. 550 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:47,637 Come on. This is what happens when you dabble in pirate DVDs. 551 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:49,237 They're horror DVDs. 552 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,477 No, as in... Just get rid of them. 553 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:55,237 I can hide them in my pouffe. It's got a secret lid. 554 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:57,517 No, you're not hiding them in the pouffe. 555 00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,357 I'm dumping them in the lake. 556 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,357 SAM: The lake? They're not dead bodies. 557 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:02,877 RACHEL: And they'll float. 558 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,717 Oh. All right, fine, the bin. 559 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:05,917 Come on, Sam. 560 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,717 I could get serious troubs if I get caught with these. 561 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,520 Oh, Dad, look, it's Joe and Susie. 562 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,237 Oh, my God. 563 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,437 Oh, my God. It's them. 564 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,437 It's them, Rach. 565 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:21,677 Who, the police? 566 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,157 No, Joe and Susie. They just walked past. 567 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:25,277 Susie? Yes. 568 00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:26,357 Susie? Should we do something? 569 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:27,957 Oh, my goodness. Should we do something? 570 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:29,597 Yes, we should do something. Can we do anything? 571 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,440 Erm... Erm... 572 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,520 What should we do? 573 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:37,997 SAM: This is really creepy. 574 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,397 RACHEL: Well, we have no way of contacting them, Sam, 575 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:41,717 and they're our friends. 576 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,277 Yeah? Go and talk to them, then. 577 00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:45,157 Well, hang on. No, no, no, we can't do that. 578 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:46,357 They'll think we're following them. 579 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,917 You are following them! We should just turn around. 580 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,957 No, I need to know why they pulled out, Sam. 581 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:54,277 If they think I'm boring, then they can jolly well say it to my face. 582 00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:55,597 And why would that help? 583 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:57,157 Because I am not boring! 584 00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:58,317 They've stopped. 585 00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,957 PAUL GASPS Joe's making a call. 586 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:01,957 Oh, no, they're going separate ways. What do we do? 587 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,397 Let's stick with Susie. OK. Yeah. 588 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:05,997 WHISPERING: Hang back, hang back. 589 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:07,677 Wow, is that their house? 590 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:09,237 I don't know. I don't know! 591 00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:10,917 Rach, this feels wrong. What? 592 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,917 We shouldn't be here. It's fine. 593 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,480 Let's go, quickly. 594 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:17,597 WHISPERING: Where's she going? 595 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,197 DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES 596 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:21,917 OK, OK. This is weird, Rach. This is really weird. 597 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,277 No, it's fine. It is weird. 598 00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:27,317 It's really weird that you're following her in here. 599 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:28,717 I agree. 600 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,477 Let's go. 601 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,557 I don't want to go. I don't want to go. 602 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:34,757 Look at it. It's... It's tasteful. 603 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,397 It's like being born. 604 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,517 It's fine. It's not fine. 605 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:40,157 It's weird, Rachel. 606 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:41,917 We need to get away. 607 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,040 Can you go in first? What? 608 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,477 Hello? 609 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,000 Hello? 610 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,197 ALL: Surprise! 611 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,920 RACHEL SCREAMS 612 00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:01,757 Rachel, what...? 613 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:03,117 And Paul. 614 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:05,877 Susie, surprise. 615 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,077 Er, s-sorry, what are you doing here? 616 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:10,157 Well, I don't have your number, 617 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,917 and I wanted to discuss the house purchase... 618 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,077 What? ..and whether that... Have you been drinking. 619 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,597 No, I haven't been drinking. No. Not a sausage. Not at all, no. 620 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,077 No, I've been to the dentist. I've been to the dentist. 621 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:21,997 Right, OK. Uh, well... 622 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:23,917 Sorry, can we just reset everything? Sorry. 623 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,517 Reset. Reset everything. Reset. Reset. Reset the lights, please. 624 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,157 So sorry. Banner up, up, up. Reset. 625 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,717 Absolutely. Oh, gosh. 626 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,557 So sorry. Action stations. JOE: Hey. 627 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,117 It's like Challenge Anneka, isn't it? 628 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:35,317 Hey, guys. Get it all out the way. Hey. Challenge Anneka. 629 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:37,437 Hey. Oh, hey. Sorry, excuse me. 630 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:38,760 Hey. 631 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:42,317 Oh. Oh, my God. 632 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:43,837 Er... All right? 633 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,117 What's going on? 634 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:48,477 Erm... I'm so sorry. 635 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:50,397 Happy birthday. Erm... 636 00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:51,957 ♪ Happy birthday... ♪ 637 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:54,477 No, no, no, no! No, no, no. Don't. 638 00:23:54,560 --> 00:24:00,317 No, we had a surprise thing planned, but they, erm, ruined it. 639 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:01,557 Oh, right. 640 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:02,757 Sorry about that. 641 00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:04,997 Hi. Hi, Paul. Hey, mate. 642 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:06,837 Paul? Happy birthday. 643 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:08,077 Oh, hey, Jamie. 644 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:09,557 Are you kidding? 645 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,917 He's done it again. What is your problem? 646 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,557 Why do you keep ruining people's surprise parties? 647 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,277 Well, I didn't know about this one, you know? 648 00:24:17,360 --> 00:24:20,277 And she said that they weren't planning anything for his birthday. 649 00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:22,077 Well, that was because it was meant to be a surprise. 650 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,397 Well, yeah, obviously, that makes perfect sense. Oh, gosh, yeah. 651 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,917 I'm sorry. We will get out of here. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 652 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,557 But, erm, can I... can I just take your number, Susie, 653 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:32,677 so that we can stay in touch, because I haven't got it? 654 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:34,717 Why would we stay in touch? 655 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:36,317 I barely know you, Rachel. 656 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:39,957 That's... That's why you weren't invited to this party. 657 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,997 Yeah. 658 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,557 Uh, makes sense. 659 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,677 Um, OK. 660 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:49,357 Uh, well, let's clear up the DVDs. We'll clear up the DVDs. Yeah. 661 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:51,077 Come on, let's get this done. 662 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,837 Thank you, Jamie. Genuine apologies. 663 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,637 Let's just get all these out of your way. 664 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,597 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre? What? 665 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:57,757 Huh? 666 00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:59,837 Are these all pirate? 667 00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:02,037 They're my mum's. They're my mummy's. 668 00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:04,717 She's got a film club... She has. ..with her friend Prue. 669 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:06,437 Yeah. And they... Yeah, leave it. 670 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:07,877 Let's go, let's go. I'm so sorry. 671 00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,957 Come on, Sam. Yeah, coming. See... See you later. Have a good... 672 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,357 Erm, sorry, hang on. Just want to say... 673 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:15,000 ...I am not boring. 674 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:17,557 What? 675 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:20,517 I am not a boring man, so... 676 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,877 That pizza story was solid, OK? 677 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,677 It's gone down very well in the past. 678 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:26,837 What story? 679 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:30,317 OK, well, basically, I went to this pizza restaurant in Hitchin - 680 00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:33,117 well, we all did - a few years ago now. Don't do it again. 681 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,597 What? Well, you don't know, it might work. The pizza was square. 682 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:37,797 Yeah? Is the ending. 683 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,877 MAN CHUCKLES Thank you. 684 00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:42,117 Funny. 685 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:43,480 Erm... And, look... 686 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:49,237 ...I just want to say, is that why you're not moving in next door, 687 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,677 because I'm boring? 688 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,237 Or is it... Or is it her tooth? 689 00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:55,197 Because of my tooth falling on your pizza. Her tooth. 690 00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,077 What are you talking about? 691 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:58,437 No. 692 00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:00,477 No? There's Japanese knotweed in the garden. 693 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,077 Oh! 694 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:03,117 PAUL LAUGHS 695 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:04,997 Is there? That explains it. Well, fantastic. 696 00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:06,557 That's... Oh, fantastic. That's bad. 697 00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:08,077 That's bad news. 698 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:09,517 Oh, is it? 699 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:10,920 I'd say! 700 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:13,837 It's the worst news ever. I can't believe this. 701 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,557 DVDs CLATTER No, don't drop the DVDs. 702 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,237 Japanese knotweed? Oh, for God's sake. Japanese knotweed? 703 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:21,277 It's not great, but... OK, let's go. I'm sure you'll sort it out. 704 00:26:21,360 --> 00:26:22,757 Sorry. Bye. Thank you. 705 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:25,557 Happy birthday. ♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪ 706 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,557 Come on. Japanese knotweed, Rach! That's going to take years! 707 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:31,837 Oh, I'm going to have to apply a glyphosate-based herbicide 708 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:33,637 over several summers. 709 00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:35,997 Oh, dealing with this is going to be so boring. 710 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:37,917 So you'll love it, then, won't you? SAM CHUCKLES 711 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,357 I probably will, yeah. 712 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:41,357 I'm sorry your friends aren't moving in any more. 713 00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:42,917 No, it's fine. 714 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,597 Now we've got to know them, I've realised they're horrible 715 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:47,317 and I don't like them at all. 716 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,317 Oh, good. What a happy ending. 717 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:50,597 ROBIN: Oi, oi! 718 00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:51,917 Oh! Oh, no! 719 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,917 Oh, Robin! What's happened, Robin? 720 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,197 Oh, what happened? 721 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:57,197 Well... CHERRY: Whiplash, innit? 722 00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,517 Yes. Too much head banging, the thick tit. 723 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:01,237 From the old death metal. 724 00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:02,597 Oh. So you got into it, then? 725 00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,037 Well, musically, it was a bit like R2-D2 726 00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:07,557 being run through a wood chip per, but the people were lovely. 727 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:09,797 OK, but hang on, can you... can you still jump? 728 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,837 Probably shouldn't, no. No. So, yeah, sorry, Paulo, 729 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:14,317 I think you're on your own, mate. Yeah. 730 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,037 I wasn't going to do it anyway, to be honest. 731 00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:18,157 Really? I'm not a bungee jumper, Rach. 732 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:19,917 Who am I trying to kid? 733 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,877 I'm a 46-year-old man who enjoys watching Only Connect 734 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,917 with a bottle of Marston's Pedigree. 735 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,557 And if the Jamies think I'm boring, well, let them. 736 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:30,477 Yeah. Let them. Yeah. 737 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,557 CHERRY: Wait, so no-one's doing it? 738 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,477 We bought two jumps. 739 00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:35,597 SAM: Don't look at me. 740 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:37,757 Sue? No. No. No. 741 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:39,037 Ladies? 742 00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:40,357 AMY: Come on. 743 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:41,837 What? What do you mean? 744 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:42,917 It'll be fun. 745 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,077 Fun? No. No way. 746 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,117 Look at me, I'm knackered. That'll finish me. 747 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,557 Or maybe help you bounce back. 748 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:51,917 Yeah. 749 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:53,357 PAUL AND ROBIN CHUCKLE Good, innit? 750 00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:55,757 ROBIN: She's weakening. She's weakening. Oh, look. 751 00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,357 AMY: Here we go. Good luck. 752 00:27:57,440 --> 00:27:58,877 Thanks, Dad. 753 00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:00,117 Whoa! Whoa! 754 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:01,677 Whoa-ho-ho! 755 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:03,000 CHERRY: Don't get Popeye! 756 00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:05,917 Oh, that's going fast, that, innit? 757 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,037 Oh, God. 758 00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:09,037 Be careful, girls. I love you, Mum and Dad. 759 00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:11,637 SUE: Oh, God, I can't look. ROBIN: I can't look up. 760 00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:12,917 Why did I rope us into this? 761 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,760 I don't know. This is your fault. If we die, it's your fault. 762 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:18,397 OK, here we go. 763 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:19,597 ROBIN: I can't see anything. 764 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:22,197 INSTRUCTOR: OK, girls, three, two, one, you're away. 765 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:23,877 THEY SCREAM 766 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:24,917 Oh, my God! 767 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,200 Oh! 768 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:29,157 All right, Amy? 769 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:31,200 SCREAMING 770 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:35,037 AMY: Oh, my God! 771 00:28:35,120 --> 00:28:37,917 MAYA LAUGHS 772 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,277 Yeah, it's actually quite boring, isn't it? 773 00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:42,280 It's really boring. Yeah. 774 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:48,000 DEATH METAL MUSIC PLAYS