"Here We Go" Our Trip to Liverpool

1 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:05,920 Do you know what? It's got a beautiful action. 2 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:10,237 Right, stop smelling him, Robin. 3 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:12,080 He's got a hell of a grip. Thank you. 4 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,037 Ah, any sign of him your side, Sam? 5 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:17,237 Nothing yet, no. 6 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:18,637 IN MOCK SCOUSE ACCENT: All right there? 7 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:19,957 Think thah's for me. 8 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:21,557 Thah's for me, that is, la'. 9 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:23,517 What accent are you trying to do, Rachel? 10 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:25,797 Well, that's... Your one, your accent, Sue. 11 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:27,317 Oh. It's quite good, no? 12 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,117 Oh, you don't need to do the voice, surely. 13 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:30,517 Of course she does. Well, of course. 14 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:32,317 The postman's not going to hand over the sewing machine 15 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:33,957 if he doesn't think your mother lives in that house, Amy. 16 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:35,797 I do live in that house, la'. 17 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:37,797 Stop saying la'. That's... 18 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:39,837 And you've got to be more glossal, babe, OK? 19 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:41,037 You've got to activate the glossal. 20 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:44,837 So, like... IN MOCK SCOUSE ACCENT: Me shirt's all sticky. 21 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,637 Stiggy? Me shirt, it's sticky... 22 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,677 You sound like Kermit the frog. Me shirt, under me arms. 23 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:49,877 I mean... I mean... That was even worse. 24 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:51,837 Why would I need to say that? "My shirt's all sticky." 25 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,637 My own son can't do the accent. Honestly. 26 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:57,797 Yeah, I can. Our family's lost all connection to home. 27 00:00:57,880 --> 00:00:59,557 I can do the accent... MIMICKING: All connection to home. 28 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,717 ...Mum, all right? All connection to home. 29 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,117 That was good, wasn't it? All connection to home. No. 30 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:05,877 Don't mock me, Rachel. 31 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:07,357 Don't moch me. Moch, moch. 32 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:08,597 That's it, that's it. Moch me. 33 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:11,077 Stop it! Yeah, can we just calm down. Just calm down. 34 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:12,597 THEY LAUGH 35 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:15,597 Just get... Let's just get Granny to say it's her house, 36 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:18,037 if you need someone who can do the accent. 37 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,197 That's not a bad idea actually, Sue. I... I'm terrible at accents. 38 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,357 It's not a... It's your accent, Mum! 39 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:24,317 Yeah. Yeah, it's easy, just... 40 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,397 Just wait in the driveway for the postman 41 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:28,277 and then tell him that you're Anne Abbot 42 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:29,797 and you're expecting a parcel. 43 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,917 An abbot? I can't pretend to be an abbot, not in these clothes. 44 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,997 No. No, no, no. As in the person I sent it to 45 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:36,837 is called Anne Abbot. 46 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:38,597 Oh, my God, why lie at all? 47 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:41,317 Why not just knock on the door and confront the people who scammed you? 48 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:42,597 Because they could be gangsters, Amy. 49 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:44,357 Because he's scared, basically. Dad. 50 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:45,557 And they would be armed. 51 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:46,637 Some policeman you are. 52 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,717 Postie, dad. He's there right now! 53 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:50,237 Oh, my God, quickly. 54 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:52,317 Er, what shall we do? What shall we do, Paul? 55 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,997 Er... Quickly, what? Abort, abort. No. No abort. Yes abort. 56 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:56,677 No, don't, no. Heads down. 57 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:58,637 Oh, God, hide. Hide. Head down, head down, head down. 58 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:00,157 We've been compromised. 59 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,317 Aw. I know. Very cute. 60 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:03,757 I know. 61 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:06,837 Aw. He's so gorgeous, Cheryl. 62 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,677 Mm, he's got my face. 63 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:10,557 He has. And my thighs. Sensational thighs. 64 00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:12,597 But he has got Robin's weird long toes. 65 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:13,957 Yeah, he has, yeah. 66 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,517 And he's got my vibe as well, apparently. Aw. 67 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,317 Vibe? What vibe is that? 68 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,597 Just that he's, you know, a bit much, can be, when he's awake. 69 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,237 Yeah. Yeah. Aw. 70 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:26,237 What made you go for Atlas as a name? 71 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:28,117 Well... I mean, I love it. 72 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,077 We just saw it in a book, yeah. 73 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,077 Which book? Was it an atlas? 74 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:33,677 No, like a baby names book. 75 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,797 Yeah, no, name-wise, it was between Atlas, 76 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,677 Lion, Lord, 77 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:40,717 Granite, Wonder or Magic. 78 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,237 Yeah. OK. Yeah. 79 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:45,557 Great. I think you chose well, in that case. 80 00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:46,997 Yeah, we did. Thank you so much. 81 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,437 And we got a little cuddly Earth for him. 82 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:52,797 Because Atlas. Ah, I love it. 83 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:54,717 Yeah, he's got the whole world in his hands. 84 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,717 Yes, very appropriate, that is, isn't it? 85 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,757 And is that little toy bin thing for him an' all? 86 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,037 What's that? That's a... Oh, no, that's mine. 87 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,117 OK. That's mine. What? Yeah. But it's tiny. 88 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,157 Yeah, he got scammed. I didn't get scammed. 89 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:08,277 Oh. I wanted a garden waste bin, right? Mm. 90 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:11,397 And the council were going to charge me 50 quid for it, 91 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,757 so I went online, and... Got scammed. 92 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,837 No, I didn't check the dimensions. 93 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:17,277 Yeah, I mean I'll find a use for it. 94 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:19,837 Yeah, if you want to chuck away one blade of grass at a time. 95 00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:21,237 Yeah, whatever. THEY LAUGH 96 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,437 Ah, very good. Oh, Paul, you gullible goon. 97 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,477 THEY LAUGH Yeah. 98 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:26,877 Well, you can talk, Mum. 99 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,277 It's far more sophisticated than the scam you fell for. 100 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,637 Oh, no, Sue, what happened? 101 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,157 Oh, was it one of those fake coppers, 102 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,997 demanding your bank details? Oh. It wasn't a scam. 103 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:37,677 What... what was it? Yeah, right. 104 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,637 She paid a window cleaner who came to the door 105 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:43,757 £40 in advance cos he needed to go and buy sponges. 106 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:44,997 Oh. 107 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:46,357 Sue, that does not sound good. 108 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,917 That's a right steal, that. But Colin will be back. 109 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,597 As soon as he's got his Japanese sponges... His what? 110 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:54,037 ...he'll clean your yucky old windows. Yeah, right. 111 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:55,357 Oh, yeah, they're minging. Yeah. 112 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:56,517 DOORBELL RINGS Oh. Ah! 113 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,237 There he is, you see? Doorbell! 114 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,757 Oh, as if. Sam, get dressed. You've got school this afternoon. 115 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,877 I know. I will. 116 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,397 Erm... Oh, don't do the arms. 117 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:05,837 Wow. Guess who just got scouted. 118 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,477 Scouted? What? What do you mean? 119 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:10,637 Oh, God, she's been walking like that the whole way here. 120 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,597 It's taken us ages. Take it in, suckers! 121 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:17,517 Take a good, long look... at Bedford's next top model. 122 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,637 What's all this? What? 123 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,717 Well, you know how you've been saying I'll never get a job 124 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,157 moping about the shopping centre? Mm. 125 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:24,877 Well, egg on your face, 126 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,437 because I just got scouted outside Superdrug, 127 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:29,837 by Blue Diamond Models UK. 128 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:32,837 Never heard of 'em. Oh, well done, Amy. 129 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:34,797 I mean, she literally didn't do anything. 130 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:35,957 Well, OK. Thanks, Granny. 131 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:37,597 Er, Sue, these were at the door for you. 132 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:39,237 Oh, thanks, my love. 133 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:40,477 I can't believe this. 134 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:44,157 I am always outside that Superdrug and I have never been scouted once. 135 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,997 Well, they probably think you already are a model, though, babe. 136 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,597 It's true, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It is. 137 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,957 Oh, actually, Mum, can I borrow the sewing machine? 138 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:53,917 I need to fix my clean shirt for the head shots. 139 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,037 Well, you'll have to be quick cos I'm about to sell it on eBay. 140 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,277 But, Amy, you're not really going to be a model. 141 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,317 Yeah, of course. Why not? Darren said it's guaranteed work. 142 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:04,477 I just need to front the head shot costs and I'll be off to castings. 143 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,197 Paris, here I come, baby. 144 00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:08,157 Front the head shots. How much is that? 145 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:09,757 Er, like, three hundred quid? Right. 146 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:12,157 Oh, my... Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! 147 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:13,637 What? Ding, ding, ding! 148 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,357 No? Ding, ding! What you doing? 149 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,157 That's alarm bells... Oh. Yeah. ..everyone. 150 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:18,637 No. In what way? 151 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:20,757 Well, since when does a proper modelling agency 152 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:21,957 ask for money up front? 153 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:23,357 No, this one's proper. 154 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,277 Darren's legit, right? Mm. Darren... 155 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,237 Well, I mean, it was a bit weird that he had a card reader on him. 156 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:30,277 Ah-ha! But maybe. 157 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,397 Look, I mean I'm going to stick to my actual job that involves, 158 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:35,157 you know, my brain. 159 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,637 But if you want to be a human coat hanger, then, sure, 160 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:40,317 knock yourself out. What, so you were scouted, too? 161 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,757 Yeah, we both were. Oh, well, then it's definitely a scam, then. 162 00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:44,957 Well, that's... Whoa! Erm, excuse me. 163 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,677 No, I didn't... No, I didn't mean like that. 164 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:49,317 Didn't mean like that. Mia, you are gorgeous, right? You're fit. 165 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,077 Don't say that. Fit? Make it worse. 166 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,717 All I'm saying is, it sounds like Darren Dimante... 167 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,957 Diamante. Yeah. ..wasn't being very picky. 168 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,077 No offence. None taken. 169 00:05:58,160 --> 00:05:59,757 You have no idea what you're talking about. 170 00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:01,277 It's not a scam. I'm doing it. 171 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:04,277 Well, don't come crying to me when you need to file a police report. 172 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:06,117 Why would I report it to Billy No Mates in the basement anyway? 173 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,837 THEY LAUGH He's not in the basement. 174 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,197 Wrong, wrong. 175 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,637 Not any more. I have been assigned field work as of today. 176 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:14,677 Yeah, also, Rachel does know what she's talking about, Ames, 177 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:17,357 because, yes, she used to be a model herself. 178 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,037 Yeah, I wasn't going to mention it. What? Really? 179 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,077 Did you? Yes. I wasn't going to mention that. 180 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:22,237 Oh, Rach! 181 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:25,357 Oh, my God, how embarrassing. Yeah, briefly, briefly. 182 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:28,877 Oh, you mean like when they use real women as models? 183 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,077 That one of them? Yeah. No, not like that. 184 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,237 We've still got the magazines knocking about somewhere. 185 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:35,477 BOTH: Magazines?! Yeah, yeah. A couple, yeah. Yeah. 186 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:37,357 You were in magazines? 187 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,317 Yeah, no, I was, yeah, so, you know, I'm... 188 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:42,037 I'm well-placed to know that the modelling industry can be 189 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:45,477 exploitative and gross, so stay well away from it. 190 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,157 Trust me. Actually, babe, we should get Atlas into modelling. 191 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,637 The state of him. 192 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:51,557 Oh, my God, yeah, he would smash it. 193 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,597 Yeah, well, that's basically the opposite of what I was just saying. 194 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,277 Oh, he is a beautiful baby, to be fair. 195 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,037 And the rest, babe. I mean, look at him. 196 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,917 This little fit tie needs to get to market right now. 197 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,557 In fact, I might take him out in to the jardin and do a few candids, 198 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:04,957 now he's awake. Yeah, well, take some of me as well. 199 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:06,637 Course I will. Madonna and child. 200 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:10,237 Oh, could you wash my shirt, then, Granny, if I bring it over? 201 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:11,357 Granny? 202 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,437 Uncle Eric's died. 203 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,757 What? Oh, Granny. 204 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:18,117 What's that, Mum? Uncle Eric. 205 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:19,917 Died last year. 206 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,477 92, he was. 207 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,597 No-one even told me. 208 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:24,920 Oh, Mum. 209 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,317 Is he...? 210 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:28,637 Who is he? 211 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,517 My dad's younger brother. 212 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,597 Right. He lived with us when I was a girl. 213 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:34,237 Oh. 214 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,917 Oh, dear, they want me to go up there. 215 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,317 Would you come with me, Paul? 216 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:41,037 To Liverpool? 217 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:42,797 I mean, ideally not. 218 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,877 Who wants you to go there, Sue? 219 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,277 The solicitor. 220 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:49,357 I'm an executor of his estate, apparently. 221 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,997 Estate? What... what kind of estate? 222 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,237 Well, now you're interested. 223 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:54,757 It's not going to be a National Trust one, is it? 224 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:56,157 Well, we don't know. OK. 225 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,637 And, not wanting to sound callous, 226 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:00,997 but would it be worth our while going there? 227 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:02,837 Yeah, that sounds very callous. 228 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:04,517 Well, of course it would. 229 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:07,997 We could go down Memory Lane, see the old house. 230 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:09,717 We'll show you where you come from. 231 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,037 I'd actually love to do that. Oh. 232 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,797 We could stay a few days, make a trip of it. Yeah. 233 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,757 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 234 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:20,997 Mum, we're... we're not going on holiday to Liverpool. 235 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:22,877 Why not? 236 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:26,237 Well, holidays should be somewhere warm. 237 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,037 And nice. And we can't afford it. 238 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:29,677 Yeah, and we can't afford it... crucially. 239 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:31,797 You should've led with that. That's the main reason. 240 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,397 Maybe... Why don't you call the solicitor 241 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,237 and ask what we've been left, 242 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:39,277 and we'll discuss it when I'm back from work, OK? 243 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:40,517 I'm happy to go with you, Granny. 244 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:43,157 Well, you're just happy to miss school, Sam. 245 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,077 Er, school, Sam! Yeah, I... 246 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,317 Get dressed! Come on! Wow. 247 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:48,517 Go, now! 248 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,437 Mum, slow down... Speed bump! 249 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:52,037 Oh, God. 250 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,277 How does it take you 40 minutes to get some clothes on? 251 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:55,757 It wasn't that long. 252 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:57,477 Is that Dad? What? 253 00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:59,437 What's he doing? Is it? 254 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:00,757 Yeah. 255 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,317 83... 256 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,357 Why don't you just talk to the postman? 257 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,077 It's the rules. 258 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:08,277 I'm not allowed to apprehend a criminal on my own. Ugh... 259 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:09,557 I have to call for backup. 260 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:11,957 Well, so we just let someone scam us, do we? Great. 261 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:15,597 Well, look, it was only a sewing machine, Rachel. 262 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,557 What? It's not as if they stole one of your kidneys. 263 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:19,997 Here we go, then. 264 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:23,037 Paul, number 89 - we're here, look. 265 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,157 Oh. This is it. 266 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,037 Here? As in the... 267 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:28,277 This place? 268 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,797 Yep. 89, Kinbury Road. 269 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,757 Come on, then. Oh. 270 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,397 Sorry, this is what? Granny's old house. 271 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:37,477 Oh, no. 272 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:39,157 This was the living room here. 273 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:40,677 Oh, OK. Yeah. 274 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,957 And our kitchen was similar to theirs, actually. 275 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,677 Really? Less, you know, chicken. 276 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:48,117 Well, yeah, that makes sense, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 277 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:51,637 Yeah. And the furniture was all different back then, of course. 278 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:53,237 Mm, yeah, no, sure. 279 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:54,797 Do yous want anything? 280 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:58,797 Oh. Oh, no, sorry, no. We're just er, browsing, thank you, yeah. 281 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,837 I used to live here. 282 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:02,797 What, in here? 283 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,837 I mean, before it was a restaurant, obviously. 284 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:06,237 Restaurant? 285 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:09,037 W... would I be able to have a look back there? 286 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,117 It used to be my bedroom. 287 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,357 Oh. 288 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:13,717 I wouldn't. 289 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,637 Oh, right. But why's that? 290 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,557 Well, presumably because it's unspeakably awful back there, Mum. 291 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:19,997 Probably. 292 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:21,797 Can I get the, er, popcorn chicken, please? No. 293 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:22,917 No, Sam, we're not stopping. 294 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,877 We've got to be at the solicitor's in 20 minutes, so... 295 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,677 It's fine, it's ready now. We don't make it fresh. 296 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,637 Oh, that is a great selling point. 297 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,037 Cool, thanks, man. 298 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,517 Popcorn chicken. 299 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:33,957 Ah. 300 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:36,717 It's like two different things, isn't it? You know. 301 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:38,920 It's like saying lettuce beef. 302 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,117 Not really. 303 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:42,317 Sorry about him. 304 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,197 28 in a 20. Is against the law, Rachel. 305 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:46,557 Oh, whatever. Whatever. Don't blame the operative. 306 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:49,637 The operative - the guy crouching in a bin? 307 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,157 Near a bin, not in a bin! 308 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:54,397 I'm not the grumpy Muppet from Sesame Street. 309 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:55,717 No. Oscar the Grouch? Yeah. 310 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:57,837 You're the creepy muppet catching a mum on the school run. 311 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,917 Not creepy. Look at that. Aren't they sparkly? 312 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,957 I told you he'd come back, didn't I? 313 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,477 Ah! 314 00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:05,837 Yeah. No. 315 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,157 Colin's doing a good job, Mum. I stand corrected. 316 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:09,357 Yes, thank you, Sue. 317 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,357 At least someone is actually helping this family. 318 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,797 It's the Japanese sponges. You could eat your dinner off that. 319 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:18,117 Mm. I mean, you'd have to be quick, and choose a fairly adhesive food. 320 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:21,637 Like an omelette. I was going to say omelette. Yeah, nice one, mate. 321 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:22,877 Ah, noodles, maybe. 322 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:24,357 Oh, Paul... Sticky rice. 323 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:26,717 ...the solicitor got back to me up in Liverpool. 324 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:30,237 Go on. Uncle Eric has left me a painting. 325 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:31,917 A painting?! 326 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,877 Well, who's it by? Who's it by? 327 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,637 Well, it's not going to be a Rembrandt, is it? 328 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,237 Well, it might be one of the old Masters. 329 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,197 Oh, my God. We don't know. Stop being so grasping. 330 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:42,237 If you want more money, stop giving speeding tickets to your own family. 331 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:44,277 Yeah, or stop speeding. 332 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,077 28 isn't... Oh! 333 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,877 What's that? OK, it's only Robin. 334 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,237 Are you all right? And Cherry. 335 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:51,477 Oh, gawd! I thought it was open. 336 00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:54,277 What's all that about, then? Oh, yeah, Colin came back. 337 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:57,597 Ah. Those windows are as clean as a fish's willy. 338 00:11:57,680 --> 00:11:59,037 They really are. A what? 339 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:00,597 Is that... That's not a saying, is it? 340 00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:03,197 Well, now, dollop of humble pie for table one, I think, Paulo. 341 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,197 Look at that! The guy's a glass whisperer. 342 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:06,397 You could eat your dinner off that. 343 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,037 I know, yeah, so long as it's something sticky. 344 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,157 Sure. Porridge, choccy mousse, er... 345 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:12,157 Yeah, we were thinking omelette. Love omelette. Yeah. 346 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,997 Oh, Cheryl, you look like an American superstar. 347 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:16,677 Oh. You really do. 348 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:18,157 Are those crocodile skin leggings? 349 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:20,557 Oh, croggings, yeah, cheers. 350 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,757 And since when have you been wearing glasses, then? 351 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,997 No, no, look, they're clear. Ah! 352 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,517 Atlas has got a casting later, 353 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,517 so we wanted to look a bit more media, you know? 354 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,557 Latte, please, ciao. THEY LAUGH WEAKLY 355 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,637 So, what, have you got him an agent? 356 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:36,717 No, no, just like there's this advert doing like open auditions. 357 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,117 I'm his agent. Look at this. Robin Hankey, CEO, 358 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:40,757 Hot Tots Talent Management. Ciao. 359 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,157 Oh. Hot Tots. Ciao. 360 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:44,677 So you've started your own agency? 361 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:47,797 Ah, well, yes, I've printed out ten business cards, so, I mean, 362 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:49,397 I guess I've just... Committed fraud? 363 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:51,317 Minor fraud, Sam. Very minor. 364 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:52,837 Don't bang me up, officer. 365 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:54,237 No, you joke. He would, you know. 366 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:55,997 He's already given me a speeding ticket. 367 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:57,757 Oh, you dirty nark! 368 00:12:57,840 --> 00:12:59,237 I didn't know it was her! 369 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,037 I was just pointing the gun at any fast car. 370 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,677 She was the one doing 28 in a 20. Don't blame me. 371 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:06,037 Fair play, Rach, the gun don't lie. 372 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,157 Yeah. Well... Yeah. DOORBELL RINGS 373 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:08,717 Doorbell! Gun don't lie. 374 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,157 Someone! All right. 375 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:11,837 What kind of advert is it? 376 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:13,557 Will Atlas have any lines? 377 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:16,637 Lines? Oh, God, no, I hope not, Sue. He can't talk. 378 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,477 The lipstick's called Livid Peach. 379 00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:20,877 I've had my hair done - look. Right. 380 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,157 Ugh, OK. 381 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,397 Oh, you're not going through with the head shots, Amy? 382 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,677 Well, I'm taking an amazing opportunity, yeah. 383 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,877 It's free money. For the photographer, sure. 384 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,957 Oh, my God, Dad, it's not a scam. 385 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,597 Well, I very much think it could be. 386 00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:35,277 Yeah, and you also thought the window cleaner wasn't coming back, 387 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:38,157 and you bought a totally useless, really small wheelie bin. 388 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:40,317 Er, it's not useless, thank you, 389 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,277 cos now it's where I keep my peppermints. 390 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:46,397 Mm. And look. You know, I'm not saying my scam radar's faultless, 391 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:49,237 Amy, I'm just saying that any idiot can get business cards 392 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:50,757 and claim to run a modelling agency. 393 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:51,997 Don't I know it? 394 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:55,757 Oh! Oh! Rach, in fact, I found the old portfolio. 395 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,397 Oh. Oh, my God, no! 396 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,997 Peter Bilby's Office Supplies. Oh, don't get it out. 397 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:02,277 Oh! 398 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,677 Oh, my God. Yeah. No way. 399 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:05,717 That's not a magazine. 400 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,237 No. Well, yeah, no, it is. It's a catalogue. 401 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:10,877 Same thing, isn't it? There she is. Ay! There she is. 402 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,957 Wow! Look at that. Oh, gosh. Stunning. 403 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,397 Yeah. Gosh, it takes me back. 404 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:16,077 Yeah, I bet. Yeah, no, I'll have you know that Peter Bilby 405 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:17,597 was a very high-end supplier. 406 00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:19,597 Yeah, I think I've heard about his Milan shows. 407 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:20,957 THEY LAUGH 408 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,717 That's a lovely filing cabinet. 409 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,157 Exactly. Thank you, Sue. 410 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:25,717 And also, check this one out. There's more?! 411 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:26,957 Yes, there is. Don't get them all out. 412 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,997 Domestic innovations wholesales UK. 413 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:30,597 Wow. Yeah. 414 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:31,637 Oh! 415 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,077 Oh, my God! 416 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:34,357 Oh, wow! 417 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,677 It's Milli Vanilli. 418 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,197 Is that you? Are you joking? 419 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:39,237 You've got your hand down the toilet! 420 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:40,477 That's showbiz. 421 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:41,957 Are you wearing a bog brush? 422 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:44,437 Er, it's a brush glove, yeah. It's fashion... of a kind. 423 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,237 It's the featured product. You know. 424 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,957 I mean, let this be a warning to you, Amy, you know. 425 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:50,397 These agents, they promise the earth, but you might end up, 426 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,277 you know... With your arm in a toilet! 427 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,637 THEY LAUGH And their career down there as well. 428 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,397 What does that mean? Yeah, no, great advice, Mum. 429 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,877 I won't wear that in my head shot. 430 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:02,077 Oh, erm, did you manage to wash that shirt, Granny? 431 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:05,677 Oh, yeah, I meant to say, you know, the placket's a bit frayed. 432 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:06,757 Er... 433 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,197 You know, the bit with the button holes? 434 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:09,717 Oh, yeah. I know. I know. 435 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,757 I need to, erm... Mum, where's that sewing machine? 436 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,797 Er, oh, I posted it this morning, it's gone. 437 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,597 But I asked to borrow it. 438 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,477 About two weeks ago. I sold it. 439 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:18,637 You'll have to do it by hand. 440 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:20,717 Well, that'll offset the speeding ticket, then. 441 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,077 How much did you get for it? It... it'll be £250. 442 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:24,797 Will be - why will be? 443 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,317 Because the buyer asked me to, er, send it off first 444 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:29,757 and then let them know the postage so they can reimburse me in full. 445 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:31,477 Oh, Mum. Uh-oh. 446 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:32,597 What? 447 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:34,837 Yeah, Rach, my scam radar's going mad. 448 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,757 What? Why? Yeah, they definitely should've paid you 449 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:39,197 before you sent it, babe. Yeah. 450 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:40,877 Yeah? Well, I thought they were just being nice. 451 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:42,757 Erm, nice? Oh, no. 452 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,037 Oh, no. 453 00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,637 Has the buyer got any reviews or...? What's their star rating like? 454 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:48,517 Checking, just checking. 455 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,597 Oh, God. Come on. Oh, God! No. 456 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,437 No reviews at all. 457 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:53,917 Yeah, it's the first thing they've bought. 458 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,877 Yeah, that's a scam, Mum. 459 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,117 All day long. 460 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,837 Why... why do I bother? 461 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:01,477 Why do I ever bother doing anything? 462 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:02,637 No, don't know. 463 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:04,557 I mean, it won't have arrived yet. 464 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:05,757 Oh, that's a point. 465 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,117 If you only sent it this morning, you could, you know, 466 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,037 intercept it before it gets there. 467 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,517 Yes, love it, vigilante stylee. 468 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,077 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no. 469 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:17,717 These guys, they could be hardened criminal gangsters. 470 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:19,477 Well, you do it, then. You're the copper. 471 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,397 Make yourself useful for once. Yeah. Ah... I mean... 472 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,557 Where did you send it, Mum? 473 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:25,877 Er, Ann Abbot, 70 Lucknow Park, Birkenhead. 474 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,317 Where? Oh, that's right by Liverpool. 475 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:29,677 We can do the double. 476 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:31,637 Oh, Rachel, this is meant to be. 477 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,957 Yeah. I mean, we'd have to leave like this afternoon. 478 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:35,477 Great. OK, wait for me. 479 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,397 My photoshoot's in like an hour. Where's the shirt, Granny? 480 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:39,597 No. Hanging up in the garden - look. 481 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:41,917 Oh, right, OK. Yeah, well, watch out, Amy. 482 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:42,957 The door! 483 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,677 THUD! Oh! Oh, God! 484 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,477 Oh, my gawd. Oh, Amy! Amy! 485 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:48,557 God! All right, don't get up too quickly. 486 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,117 Oh, she's all right. Are you all right, love? 487 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,637 Oh, my God. What? 488 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,557 Atlas just laughed. Oh! 489 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,957 That was his first-ever laugh. 490 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:57,317 Oh, fantastic. 491 00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,437 Oh, well done, Ames. 492 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:00,677 There go the head shots. 493 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:02,640 It was pretty funny, to be fair to him. 494 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:06,717 Mm. 495 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:08,120 SHE CLEARS THROAT 496 00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:10,760 It's beneath you, you know. 497 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:14,917 No, no, no, modelling. 498 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,317 Oh. It's a blessing you couldn't do the head shots. 499 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:18,837 Got so much more to offer. 500 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:21,957 Mm. I'm not sure I have, actually. 501 00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:23,917 I thought you and Graham were going to set up a band? 502 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,957 Yeah, no, that's a stupid idea. 503 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,397 Not stupid. 504 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,397 Brave, maybe. 505 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:32,037 But that's why it's worth doing. It takes work. 506 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:34,317 KNOCK ON DOOR 507 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,437 Hi, so sorry to keep you. 508 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,437 Sam! Wonderful location you've got here. 509 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,157 So near Breck Road. 510 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:43,477 Do they still do the open-air market? 511 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,917 Er, I don't know. 512 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,077 Oh. 513 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:50,117 At least you've got Mr Gibbons on the corner for your sarnies. 514 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,637 That's flats now. 515 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,317 Yeah, can you please stop aggressively reminiscing 516 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,797 with someone clearly in their 30s? It won't work. 517 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,797 Sorry, is that shredder from Peter Bilby's Office Supplies? 518 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,757 I mean... No? 519 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,197 I... 520 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:04,637 It was here when I moved in. 521 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,477 I think it is. And you, Rach? 522 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:07,797 I think it is. Can you plea... 523 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:11,117 Sorry, sorry. Just tell us about the painting. 524 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,397 Yes, the painting. 525 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:15,437 Yeah, so size-wise, we've got a Ford Galaxy, right? 526 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:18,077 So if it's a big old Rothko or fresco, 527 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,557 then we can maybe strap it to the roof... 528 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,317 Put it on the roof. ..I think. Roof of the car. 529 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,557 Erm... 530 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:24,957 So... 531 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:26,437 What's this? Huh. 532 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:28,760 That's the painting Eric wanted Sue to have. 533 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,717 That's the painting? Yeah. 534 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,717 I reckon we'll get that in the car. 535 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:36,157 Er, yeah, we'll... we'll get it in the car, all right. 536 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,877 Do you have provenance? Provenan... Provenance?! 537 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,677 I don't... It's the term. No, I know it's the term. 538 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:43,997 I'm not an art expert. Erm... No, you're not. 539 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,357 Who... who's... Is it by someone? 540 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,557 Well, I suppose it has to be. 541 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:52,317 Because I know that modern art is famously... bad, 542 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,997 but... that's worse than normal. 543 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,357 Yeah. It's... 544 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:58,557 I don't think it's by a famous artist, no. 545 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,717 SCOFFING: No. I mean, I don't know who it's by. 546 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,837 Well, so what? We've come all this way... 547 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:06,277 Oh! ..to... to collect something that would be binned... 548 00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:08,197 Oh, my goodness... In an asylum? 549 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,157 I mean... But that's... Waste of time. 550 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,237 That's a... Well, that's a scam, frankly. 551 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,317 It's a scam. It's me. 552 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,037 No, Mum. 553 00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:17,920 It's by me. I painted it. 554 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,040 It's me and Uncle Eric. 555 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:25,760 Oh! Oh. 556 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:28,757 Oh... It's lovely. 557 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,480 Ah. Oh, Sue, that... 558 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,997 That is so beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. 559 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:37,077 Stunning. Look at the colours. 560 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,437 Gorgeous. The shapes and the... 561 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,037 the blob... blobs. It is. 562 00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:42,557 It is. That's special. 563 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:43,837 And... and... Mm. 564 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,557 And when I said asylum... Mm. 565 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,837 ...I didn't mean as in, you know... 566 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,277 I mean, you get a fair few troubled geniuses, don't you? 567 00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:53,997 Oh, gosh, you do. You know? In the art world. You do. Yeah. 568 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,597 What's with the plate on his head? 569 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,957 I wondered that. No, that... that's a beret. 570 00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:59,477 He was in the Navy. 571 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,037 Oh, was he? Really? Yeah. 572 00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:03,360 Indeed he was. He left you these as well... 573 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,037 Oh! Oh! 574 00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:07,437 Whoa! Sick. 575 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,517 ...including a Distinguished Service Medal 576 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:14,637 for carrying two injured men to safety during enemy bombardment. 577 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,117 Oh, wow! Oh, my God. 578 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,037 What a hero! Yeah. 579 00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:20,197 And his police medal's here. 580 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:21,757 The police?! 581 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:25,397 Oh, yeah, that's right - he joined the force after he left the Navy. 582 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:27,837 What? Well, no wonder I became a cop. 583 00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:29,637 It's in the blood! HE LAUGHS 584 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:30,957 I'm a police officer. 585 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:32,677 The medals may be valuable, in fact. 586 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,317 Oh, really? If you were looking to sell them. 587 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,557 Yes, definitely. No. No way. 588 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:38,557 No way. No. Not at all. 589 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,197 Just more definition on the eyebrows. 590 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,077 Ge... No, I know. I know. I know you do. I'm just saying. 591 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:43,757 I'm not doing brows, I'm doing cheek... Oh. 592 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,557 Sorry. Hello. Sorry. 593 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:48,117 Sorry. Yeah, that's the boy's cousin, basically. 594 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,437 That's not some random perv. Hi. OK. 595 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:52,997 Right, well, do you want to bring lovely Atlas... 596 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,557 Atlas... over... over here and just pop him between the legs? 597 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,757 Yeah. Just, what, between the legs and then...? 598 00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,797 Oh, sorry, the bear. The bear's legs. 599 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,277 Yes, that makes more sense. Yeah. 600 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:02,957 Let me pop him down here. 601 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:04,477 HE CHUCKLES OK. 602 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,077 So, erm, Mum and - is it agent? 603 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:09,077 Agent-slash-dad. Ciao. 604 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,757 What we're looking for is a lovely big smile. 605 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:13,237 OK. CLEARS THROAT 606 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:14,717 Ah... From Atlas. 607 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:17,317 Yeah, again, checks out. I'm so sorry. We're a bit nervous. 608 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:18,477 HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY Yeah. 609 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:20,637 Shall we go for one? Yeah, snap away. 610 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:22,757 Let me just pop him in posish. 611 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:24,797 Right. OK, get in the zone. 612 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:26,237 Get in the zone. You've got this. 613 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:27,437 You've got this, big guy. 614 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,317 OK? And... 615 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,240 ...let's have a smile. Atlas? 616 00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:34,437 Er... 617 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:35,757 Smile! 618 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:37,597 Smile, Atlas. 619 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:40,037 Is he... is he normally this... serious? Yeah. 620 00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:42,237 No. He... Yeah, he is. Well, he... No, no, he smirks 621 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,117 if I do my, er, my funny faces. 622 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,317 Oh, yeah, go on, do it, Robin. This is good. 623 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:48,317 Yeah. Yep. 624 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:52,040 ROBIN GURGLES 625 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,597 No, he's not... he's not finding it funny, so... 626 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,320 HE VOCALISES 627 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:03,920 Funnier, Robin, much... much funnier. 628 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,157 I'm a monster a monster, a monster. It's not funny, Robin. 629 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,037 He's not finding it funny. Depends what you're into, doesn't it? 630 00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:12,957 I'm try... I'm trying, babe. 631 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,517 IN "FUNNY" VOICE: Oh, Atlas. Atlas! 632 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:15,877 HE GURGLES 633 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,077 HE STRAINS AND FARTS 634 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:19,557 Robin. Er... 635 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,117 SHE LAUGHS OK. 636 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:22,600 OK, well, erm, look, erm... 637 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,437 Well, look, thanks so much for coming in. 638 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:27,517 Is that it? 639 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,957 Oh! Hold up, hold up. I know what'll do it. 640 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,357 Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. 641 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:33,237 He absolutely loves this, right? Right, oh... yeah. 642 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:34,797 Get ready with that camera. 643 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,477 You're about to get the money shot. 644 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,317 Argh! Whoa! 645 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:40,997 Ooh! Ah! Ooh! What the...? 646 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,157 Oh, my God! 647 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,317 Robin, what... what are you doing? What... Erm... 648 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:48,837 Did he laugh? No, of course not! No. 649 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,757 I'm sorry about... Oh, for... ..that. 650 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,437 Erm... Ow! We go again. 651 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,517 No, we don't go again! 652 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:57,757 You're obviously going to have to leave. 653 00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:59,837 OK. OK. No, of course. 654 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,237 Be real with me, sister - 655 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:02,837 has the boy booked it? 656 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:03,997 No. No. 657 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,277 No. No. No. Because we damaged the studio. 658 00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:08,437 Yeah. Among other things, yes. Among other things. 659 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,837 So... Oh, I've hurt my hip. 660 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:12,837 No-one cares. Glass has gone on these as well. 661 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:14,237 All right, stop talking. Oh, no, they're empty. 662 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:15,557 Why are you still talking? HE VOCALISES 663 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,237 Guys, can you just...? It's not the time. Shall we get out? 664 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:18,797 Yes. Go. Thank you. Yes, I'll go. I'm sorry. 665 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,077 I'm so sorry. I won't lie, it's going to take me a while to leave, 666 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,600 just cos, obviously... Hobbling. Ah! Just go! 667 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:29,560 Oh, Dad, your tiny bin. 668 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,477 That is a much better use for it, to be fair, isn't it? Yeah. 669 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,157 Yeah. 670 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:40,520 Bye, Eric. 671 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,240 Thanks for being such a nice uncle to me. 672 00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:46,720 I'll miss you. 673 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:50,960 Yes. 674 00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:53,480 And... 675 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:56,677 ...on behalf of the Allies, 676 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:57,800 and NATO... 677 00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:02,117 ...we thank you for your service. 678 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,080 Your bravery is an example to us all. 679 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:09,797 MURMURS: Oh. 680 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:11,200 WHISPERS: OK. 681 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,800 PHONE VIBRATES 682 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,480 You not going to get that? 683 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,157 I won't have time for it anyway. 684 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:29,197 Not if I'm doing the band. 685 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:32,240 Now, then, you should have his medals, Paul. 686 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,000 No, Mum. 687 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,560 I need to earn them first. 688 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:42,280 Come on. 689 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:44,997 What? 690 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:46,240 What does that mean? 691 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,160 Don't recognise any of this. 692 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,240 We were here this morning, Granny. 693 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:56,117 No, from the old days, I mean. 694 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,797 Oh. Oh, some homecoming, this is. 695 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:00,877 There's no-one left. 696 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:02,397 I'm going in. 697 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:03,600 Right. 698 00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:07,157 This is for you, Uncle Eric. 699 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:08,717 Facta Non Verba. 700 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,917 What does that mean? It's the British Police motto - 701 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,557 "deeds, not words." 702 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:16,037 Isn't it "See it, say it, sorted"? 703 00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:18,437 No. Oh... 704 00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:20,157 Is the bodycam on, Sam? Er, yeah, it is. 705 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:21,440 BODYCAM BEEPS 706 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:24,677 Be careful. 707 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:26,160 Yeah, OK. 708 00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:31,240 THUMPING ON DOOR Open up, police! 709 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:33,840 Look at him. 710 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:38,477 Quit stalling or I'll set the dogs on you. 711 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:40,237 Right, hands where I can see 'em, please. 712 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:42,637 I... What? Oh, goodness! What's happening? 713 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:44,637 Hands up or you'll be spending the night in the slammer! 714 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:46,077 Slammer?! Yes. What?! 715 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,997 She's quite old, isn't she? Really old. Yeah. 716 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:50,757 I don't know what's happening. Save it for the judge. 717 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,357 What the hell's happening here, then? 718 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:54,077 Officer Paul Jessop. 719 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,397 It's, er, come to our attention that your wife 720 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:59,477 is part of a scamming, er, gr... group. 721 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:01,677 This says Bedfordshire. 722 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:03,277 Yeah, I'm based in Bedford, yes, 723 00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:08,077 but I'm part of a nationwide anti-scamming, er, squad. 724 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:09,877 Scamming?! Oh, Roland, 725 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,197 I don't know what's happening. Oh, don't worry. 726 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,397 Oh, no! Oh, my God, she's crying. 727 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:18,317 Can I ask, were you in receipt of a sewing machine this morning? 728 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:19,637 Yes, I was. Yeah? 729 00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:20,997 Hang on a second. 730 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:22,597 Which was purchased on eBay, correct? 731 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:24,277 MAN: What's wrong with that, eh? 732 00:26:24,360 --> 00:26:26,597 Er, I'll ask the questions here, buddy bud. 733 00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:28,677 Oh, please don't send me to prison. 734 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:30,237 OK. Oh, bless her. 735 00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:31,957 I don't believe it. What? 736 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:33,477 Er, get on the app now, right? 737 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:36,637 Transfer the money to the seller, and this can all just go away. 738 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:38,237 This is a scam, in't it? 739 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:39,637 Er, you're the scammer, mate. 740 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:43,277 I've read about scammers going around pretending to be police. 741 00:26:43,360 --> 00:26:44,797 But I am police. 742 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:47,517 Well, we'll just give 'em a call and we'll find out, won't we? 743 00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,237 Well, don't do that, please. 744 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:50,637 Anne? 745 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:51,957 Anne Flatley? 746 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:53,997 It's Sue. Sue Merriman. 747 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,277 Sue! What are you doing here? 748 00:26:57,360 --> 00:26:58,397 Oh, ! What's this? 749 00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:00,837 I don't know. Anne and I were school friends. 750 00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,437 Yeah, Mum... She was Anne Flatley when I knew her. 751 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,757 Ah! This is your son? 752 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:07,557 Paul, yeah. He's a policeman. 753 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:09,717 Yeah, well, I think they can see that, Mum. 754 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:11,637 And, regardless of your acquaintance, 755 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,997 we have intel that you haven't paid for that sewing machine. 756 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:17,117 So, technically, it is a stolen good. 757 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:18,637 I paid. 758 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:20,757 I paid a few hours ago on the app. 759 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,037 Didn't I? Aye. 760 00:27:22,120 --> 00:27:24,557 As if! I would've seen it if you'd paid for it on the app, 761 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,357 and it's not... 762 00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:28,997 Yeah. Yeah, no, she has paid. 763 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:30,397 Yeah, I've just seen that. 764 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:31,677 Sorry about that. 765 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,397 Erm, hello. 766 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:34,797 I am Rachel. 767 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:36,637 I am Sue's daughter-in-law. 768 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,717 I'm his wife. Sorry about him. 769 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:40,837 Erm, sorry. 770 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:42,957 Me?! Yeah, sorry. Sorry. 771 00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,237 OK, good, then. 772 00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:47,317 And, er, sorry. 773 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,357 I'm so sorry. 774 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:51,957 And we'll leave you now. We'll get out of your hair... 775 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:53,437 Yeah... and go home. 776 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,557 No, come on in. 777 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:56,837 I'll put the kettle on. 778 00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:58,357 There's so much to catch up on. 779 00:27:58,440 --> 00:27:59,597 Oh, lovely! 780 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:00,837 ANNE CHUCKLES 781 00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:02,277 OK! 782 00:28:02,360 --> 00:28:05,080 SHE FORCES A LAUGH 783 00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,157 Well, that was embarrassing, wasn't it? 784 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,917 We going to sell them, then? Huh? No! No, I'm not. 785 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:12,397 This one's going for four grand on eBay. 786 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,557 Oh! Four grand. No, no, I... No? 787 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:16,357 I can't sell my heritage. 788 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:17,637 Can't you? No. 789 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:19,637 No. You'd only get scammed again anyway. 790 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:21,437 Yeah, exactly. And there's that. 791 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,917 OK. We are absolute mugs. 792 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,117 Yeah, we really, really are. 793 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:27,600 Both of us. 794 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:31,960 Why did you kiss your own hand? I don't know. 795 00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:36,317 Yeah, sorry again. 796 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,717 ♪ Surprise, surprise! 797 00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:44,480 ♪ The unexpected hits you between the eyes 798 00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:47,797 ♪ The unpredictable 799 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:50,597 ♪ That's the surprise, you see 800 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:54,557 ♪ Surprise, surprise 801 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,237 ♪ When you've found the love that's lost its way 802 00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,757 ♪ That's a nice surprise 803 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:03,280 ♪ And when you don't know what's in store today... ♪