"Here We Go" Amy's Big Gig

1 00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:05,880 "Best before 1995." 2 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:09,320 THEY SING CONGA SONG 3 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,397 Everything smells weird in this house! 4 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,637 No, I'm sorry, but we're not stopping. 5 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:18,237 It's a medical emergency, Rachel! No, no, we're already late. 6 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:19,837 If you want to go to the shops on the way, 7 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,877 then spend less time in the toilet before we leave. 8 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:25,157 It's not going to the shops! I need Imodium! Ugh...! 9 00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:29,037 I'm not well! He doesn't smell well, to be fair. Thank you, Mum! 10 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:31,197 No, you really don't. Hang on, what does that mean?! 11 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:32,917 Well, you've got that... SHE SNIFFS 12 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,957 ...poorly dog smell. THEY LAUGH 13 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:38,317 It's not funny, Sam. I'm febrile. You're what? I have a fever. 14 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,637 I'm freezing! Hence the hot-bot. 15 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:42,597 Oh, my God! Please, can we stop on the high street, Rache? 16 00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:45,237 No! Oh...! Oh, I actually want to pick up some food, as well. No! 17 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:46,637 No, there's no time! 18 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,357 Amy, how far is this church? 19 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:50,517 Still can't find it. What's it called again, Granny? 20 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:54,397 St Ivel's. It's the big one near the Esso garage. OK. 21 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:57,917 Saint Ivel's? What? Saint Ivel makes cream, Mum! 22 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,317 Oh, does he? Well, the company does, yeah. 23 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:02,117 Surely Saint Ivel isn't a real saint! Ugh... 24 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,997 I'll be staggered if he is. Well, who am I thinking about, then? 25 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,357 Saint Michael, maybe? OK... No, that's Marks & Spencer! 26 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,557 Which Esso garage? Saint Nigel? Oh, my God! 27 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,517 AS if there's a Saint Nigel! Which Esso garage, Sue? 28 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:15,357 The one with the pumps and the big lorries, sometimes. 29 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:17,197 Ridiculous. 30 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:19,397 Ridiculous description, Mum! Oh, OK, 31 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,197 I think I've found a Saint Michael's by an Esso garage. Fantastic. 32 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:23,397 It's just left up here, Mum. 33 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:25,317 Oh, can we go via a chemist, Amy? 34 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,877 No! The service starts in 15 minutes! 35 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,957 Oh, it is near. It's really near the high street, actually. Huh?! 36 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:34,037 No! I'll just nip in! Or do you want me to get diarrhoea during 37 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:37,317 the christening?! God, you'd have to go in the font! Exactly! 38 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,277 No, I wouldn't go in the font! That's ridiculous! 39 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:40,917 I'd just do it in my trousers! 40 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,357 Not in the toilets? Or the toilets, yeah, but even so, 41 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:47,317 it would be very disruptive at the service. 42 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:48,917 Please! 43 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,077 Doesn't she look slamming? Uh, just extraordinary, actually. 44 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:54,957 You'd never know she'd just had a baby, would you, Paul? 45 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,637 I know. Huh? Wow. Oh, yeah, no, phwoar. 46 00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:59,557 "Phwoar"?! "Phwoar"?! Hmm? What? 47 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:01,917 I mean, wow. Wow. I meant to say wow. Yeah. 48 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,117 I wasn't concentrating. You look amazing. Right. 49 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,557 And is this all from yoga? No, yoga's wank. Yeah. 50 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,877 This is all down to Katie, my PT. Who? 51 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,037 Unusual surname. So, Dean's new girlfriend, Katie, 52 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:15,317 is a personal trainer. Oh, OK. Wow! 53 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:16,957 Dean's got a...?! Yeah. 54 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:18,277 Wow! I know. Yeah. 55 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,637 You should totally try her, Rache. 56 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:24,957 I swear down, she has worked wonders on my pelvic floor, 57 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:27,397 ain't she, babe? Just a bit! She could strangle a cat down there. 58 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,277 I can. 59 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:30,637 SUE: Wow. Well done. 60 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,197 CHERRY: Thank you. Meow! Yeah. No, maybe I should, you know, 61 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,477 I mean, I have been feeling a bit stiff recently. 62 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:38,237 Yeah. Yeah, you're just getting old, love. Rude! You know, 63 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,837 that happens... Oh! Oh, hell! 64 00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:42,557 Oh! What...? What happened? 65 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,997 I've split the neck on my hot-bot, trying to pull the stopper out! 66 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,717 Uh... SAM: Oh, no! Dang! "Dang"?! Yeah, dang! 67 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,557 I shall have to replace it now. 68 00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:53,997 I love this hot-bot! RACHEL: Please, don't call it a hot-bot. No. 69 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:55,837 Maybe it's a sign. A sign of what? 70 00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:59,077 To get an electric blanket. No, no. No way, Jose. No way. Why? 71 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:03,037 Because that's what elderly people do, like, complain in restaurants 72 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,877 and like Michael Ball and... 73 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,517 SAM: You love Michael Ball. 74 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,877 RACHEL: Mm... We'll be picking our cemetery plots next! 75 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:10,877 Well, no, we'll just go in the same one, save a bit of money. No! 76 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:13,477 I don't want to think about it! You see, this is why I'm stiff. 77 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:17,037 Because you and your hot-bot force me to... 78 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:19,397 Oh, God! ..live... I can't get up, actually. I'll help you. 79 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,797 Oh, thank you... live like a pensioner. 80 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,997 You OK? I can fix your hot-bot, Paul. 81 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:27,877 Really, Mum? Yeah. Can you? I've got a roll of duct tape in my bag. Look. 82 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:30,957 Why have you got duck tape, Sue? DUCT tape! 83 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,597 Well, in case I need to, you know... Kidnap someone? 84 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,797 ...splinters, fix a brolly. Just general taping. 85 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,757 And I've got a torch pen. 86 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:40,877 CHERRY: Is duck tape waterproofing? DUCT tape! 87 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:42,877 Don't know. SUE: OF course it is. 88 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,157 That's why it's called DUCK tape. CHERRY: Ah! 89 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:46,957 It's not called duck tape! 90 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,557 It's not... Yeah, it is. It's called DUCT tape. 91 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,597 You have to pronounce both of the Ts. 92 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:54,317 DUCK tape... Right. ..Is a brand name. 93 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,237 As fascinating as this is, 94 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,197 I have got to go and meet Katie. 95 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:02,317 So we're looking after Atlas again, aren't we? Yeah. I am, yeah. 96 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:06,197 I want to get as much of him as I can before my big trip. 97 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,077 Oh, well, actually, Paolo, on the Atlas front, 98 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,437 we did want to ask if you'd be interested 99 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,837 in being one of the godfathers at the christening. 100 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,920 Oh! Really?! Yeah. Yeah, well, Rache is godmother. 101 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,917 Oh... Oh, my godfathers! LAUGHTER 102 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,237 I've never been asked to be a godfather before! 103 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,437 Oh, well, this is wondrous news! Wondrous! All right... 104 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,157 I promise I won't let you down, guys. OK. 105 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:29,637 Or you, guy! Bit weird. 106 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,637 That is a Godfather guarantee. 107 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:33,957 I should have... I should have to work on my Godfather impression. 108 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,797 HE GRUNTS, DOORBELL RINGS Doorbell! Sh! 109 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:40,237 Oh, for God... You're going to wake Atlas up! I'll go. 110 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,997 Why ain't you got any keys? Why haven't you got any friends? 111 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,517 OK. Nice to see you, too. Hi, Graham. 112 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:49,317 It's G, not Graham. OK, cool. 113 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,317 ITALIAN-AMERICAN ACCENT: Don't take the piss out of my pizza, 114 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:52,997 you dirty rat! Eh? 115 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,397 What are you doing? Huh? Oh, nothing. 116 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:58,077 Hi, Graham. Hi. G. It's G now. Hello. Hi. 117 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:00,677 Yes, sorry. He was just doing a Marlon Brando impression from 118 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,477 The Godfather. It doesn't... It doesn't matter. 119 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:05,117 "Don't take the piss out of my pizza"? That's not in the film. 120 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,837 Well, that's sort of it, isn't it? Mm... You know? 121 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,437 Um... No. Sorry, Graham, is that...? 122 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,077 That's not a guitar in there, is there? Oh! Wow! 123 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,477 Detective Jessop has done it again! 124 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:17,837 G, yeah. Why? Well, just because the baby's asleep over there. 125 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:21,037 You can't shred your axe in here, mate. We want to rehearse. 126 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:24,237 My keyboard's upstairs. OK. Why else would I come over? 127 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:26,997 RACHEL: To use the Wi-Fi? To get your washing done? 128 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:30,597 To have a bath? Oh, you find quite a few reasons, Amy. Yeah. 129 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,877 Why can't you just get your keyboard and take it back to your flat? 130 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:36,197 Because it's heavy. Oh. And Maya's... 131 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:38,997 Well, we're trying to give each other space while she packs up. 132 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:43,157 Aw! Yeah. So, anyway, we really need to practise. 133 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,797 Aw, are you that bad, are you? We... Thanks. 134 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:49,037 We've got Bedford Battle of the Bands next month. Whoa! 135 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:52,117 BBOTB?! No way! Is that still going? Yeah, and we're playing 136 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,880 the Lamb and Flag next week. Oh, I know! I can't wait! 137 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:59,757 You're coming? Yeah. I am a good luck charm, G. 138 00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:02,997 I saw the Beatles when they were still tiny. 139 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,797 And look how well they did. 140 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,677 Very, very well. 141 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,517 Did you? I didn't know that. 142 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,357 Yeah, in 1961. I was only 15. 143 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:14,077 I gave George Harrison a cigarette. 144 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,077 Ah! LAUGHTER 145 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:19,797 George Harrison actually died of lung cancer, so... 146 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,597 Yeah, but that wasn't Sue's fault, was it? 147 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:26,037 No. You didn't give him his first cigarette, did you? 148 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:27,997 LAUGHTER 149 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,757 Or did you? 150 00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:31,837 I don't know. 151 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,437 I mean, he didn't have any of his own, or a lighter, 152 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,437 so I suppose it's possible. 153 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:37,917 Oh... 154 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,880 Oh, my God. You killed George. Oh, God. 155 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,037 I mean, I'm sure that's not strictly true, 156 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:47,757 Graham... G, you know, legally speaking... Can't prove it. 157 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:51,117 No. He must have smoked before that. He must have. Yeah! 158 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,197 That's all anyone did in those days. 159 00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:56,357 Oh, babe, babe! It's on Sunday the 14th. Right. 160 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:58,757 So we can go to BBOTB after the christening do at the George, 161 00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:01,717 make a night of it. PAUL MIMICS BASSLINE 162 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,797 Not if you do that. What was that? 163 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:05,757 Would Atlas like that, or...? 164 00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:08,117 He might, actually. Would he? OK. 165 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,157 He really likes white noise. 166 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,957 Yeah. OK, well, that's not actually what we play, but... 167 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:15,597 We've got BBOTB. I haven't been there for about 15 years. 168 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,157 I cannot wait to go back. 169 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,477 BRANDO VOICE: Just when you think you've left the Mafia for good... 170 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,397 Doing it again! ..they ask you back to the Mafia. 171 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:24,037 SAM: I mean, that's not even close, Dad. 172 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,397 Well, it's sort of general gist, isn't it? Well... 173 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,157 Hang on, Paul, you have been christened, right? 174 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,477 Because to be a godfather, you have to have been christened. 175 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,517 Uh, I don't know. You had me christened, didn't you, Mum? 176 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,477 Uh, hang on, let me think. 177 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:39,757 Uh, we definitely had you circumcised. Oh, my God! 178 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:41,677 Oh, well, I'm aware of that. Thank you! 179 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:43,557 Thank you for telling Cherry and G that! 180 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:46,917 GRAHAM: I don't care. No, but christened, I think... 181 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,397 No. Really?! Why? 182 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:52,757 Because I don't believe in God. 183 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,237 But you do believe in ghosts, though, don't you, Sue? 184 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:56,477 Well, that's different. 185 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,557 Ghosts and angels I've got no problem with. Mm. 186 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:03,037 So you believe in angels, but you don't believe in God? 187 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,717 Well, who are they working for, then?! 188 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,637 Well, no-one. They're freelance. 189 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:10,437 CHERRY: I'm sorry, Paul, but Father Damian is well strict 190 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:11,877 about this stuff, so... 191 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,397 I mean, can't you just tell Father Damian 192 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:16,757 that I'm christened anyway? 193 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:20,197 Well, no, because Sue says you haven't been, so... 194 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:23,557 Yeah, but she can... You know. What? 195 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:24,957 Lie. CHERRY GASPS 196 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,117 SUE: No, no, I'm not doing that! CHERRY: No! 197 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,317 Well, why not?! No-one will know! 198 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,357 God will! You don't believe in God! 199 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:35,317 Exactly! So I'm already in his bad books, aren't I? Ugh...! 200 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,997 I've got a feeling that Dean hasn't been christened either. No. 201 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:41,157 Ah, well, he's out an'all, then. Oh! Oh, really? Yeah. 202 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:45,037 GRAHAM: Just get christened now, as an adult. PAUL: What?! 203 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,077 Well... What, you can do that?! 204 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,557 Yeah, I mean, it's a lot of faff when you're old, like, 205 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:51,957 it's like the chicken pox, you know what I mean? You want to get it when 206 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:54,597 you're a kid. It just depends on how much you want to be a godfather, 207 00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:58,397 really. Big, a big amount. Big amount? Please. 208 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:02,757 You see? There's nowhere to park! It's all double yellow! Oh...! 209 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,597 Just bang on your hazards and park where you like, Rachel. 210 00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:07,957 That's what I do. Yes, well, you shouldn't, Sue! 211 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:09,717 I hate it when people do that! 212 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,437 Oh, not the multistorey, Rachel! 213 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,917 There's no time! Yes, it will work out quicker. 214 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:18,077 Go, go. PAUL GROANS 215 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,077 You'll have to get out, Mum. OK. 216 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:23,437 Has anyone got a pen or something? Oh, yes, I have. Oh, great, Sue. 217 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,557 Come on, come on. Go, go, go. 218 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,237 Just get out of the car! No, I don't need to! 219 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:29,557 It won't work, Mum. 220 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,837 SHE GRUNTS 221 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:34,877 Ah! Oh, well done, Mum! OK, quickly, quickly, quickly, please, Rache! 222 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,560 Thank you. There you go. How are you going to get the ticket? 223 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:40,517 OK, I'll just get out of the car. 224 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:41,997 Right. 225 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,037 Oh! Argh! 226 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:47,237 Are you all right? Whew! Got it. Let's go! 227 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,757 PAUL GASPS 228 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:53,437 Just hold it in, Paul. Yes, thank you, Mum! Great advice! 229 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,157 Are you all right, Rachel? No! 230 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,877 I think I must have twisted my knee when reaching for the ticket. Ow! 231 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:00,677 Oh, gosh. Sorry. 232 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,877 Hello. Hi. Hi. Hi. 233 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:07,477 Can we have some Imodium... Please! ..and a knee support, please? 234 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,557 As quickly as possible. Thank you. 235 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,597 Uh, is that for the same problem? No. No! No. 236 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,997 The Imodium is for him, and I need the knee support. 237 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,917 I've been over-squatting recently. Well, we both have. 238 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:20,197 Chill out! Uh, we don't sell knee supports. 239 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:24,517 Oh, well, any kind of strapping, something to make it less...? 240 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,717 Please, where are your toilets? 241 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,117 Oh, no, toilets are staff only. 242 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,277 Well, this is an emergency! 243 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,997 Yeah. Sorry. Oh, "Sorry," as in 244 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,637 you'd rather me evacuate my bowels in your chemist's? 245 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,077 Oh, don't do that! No, don't do that. Well... 246 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:42,077 Do you sell adult nappies? No, Mum! No? No! 247 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:44,277 No, we're not going to do that! 248 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:45,957 I don't want to. Ignore her. 249 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:47,837 There's a pub across the road. 250 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:52,317 Oh, look, I hate going to a pub toilet when I'm not a patron. 251 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,237 Go on, just hold it in. I want these ones, Mum. 252 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:58,197 Right. Oh... SAM: Sorry. 253 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:01,517 Wow! Thank you. She can stay like that for hours. 254 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:04,437 Really? Easy. I could sleep like this. 255 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:06,797 Amy, can you turn it down up there, please?! 256 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,637 Sometimes I think Katie's left the flat - 257 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,157 she's just squatting behind the sofa. 258 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,957 Oh, my God. That has happened. Yeah. Sorry, our daughter's just 259 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,357 rehearsing upstairs. And that's good for you, is it? 260 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,397 Well, let me put it this way, Rachel. 261 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,357 Yeah? This is great. How old do you think I am? 262 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:22,597 Oh... Oh... Go on. 263 00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,557 Uh, 36? Be honest. 34. 264 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,757 Last year, I got ID'd at the cinema 265 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:32,917 going to see Godzilla vs Kong 2. Mm. Really? That's a 12, isn't it? 266 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:36,117 Exactly. Someone thought you were 11? Or under. 267 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,397 The other day I went to get a train ticket, and the guy in the 268 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,037 booth goes... Oh, I love this one. 269 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:42,717 ..."Why aren't you using your young person's railcard?" 270 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:46,877 And I was like, "Because I'm 40!" Oh, so 40, 40. 271 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,317 I know, it's mad, isn't it? Yeah. 272 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:53,037 Yeah. Wow. What's this? Look at this. OK. This is a doggy piddle. 273 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:58,037 OK. Yeah. You do this every single day for 20 minutes, 274 00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:01,437 you'll live past 100. OK, wow. Quite hard to prove that. 275 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,077 Drop a squat for me, Rachel. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. 276 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:06,357 What, right now? Well, yeah, if I'm going to take you on, 277 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:09,317 I need to see what I'm dealing with. OK, yeah. Go on, Rach. OK. 278 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,117 Breathe. No problem. Yeah, all right. Hup...! 279 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,397 CRACKING Oh! Oh! 280 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:17,117 Oh, my God! What was that? Was that me? That was awful. 281 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,917 Sorry, I do click, don't I? 282 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,557 She clicks. She does click. 283 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:24,197 She needs a bath. A bit stiff, a bit stiff, a bit old. Oh, no, 284 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:26,317 that's OK, that's OK, that's OK. 285 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,477 Thank you. Now just engage your core for me. 286 00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,440 My what? Your core. 287 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,757 Engage. Am I doing it? No. No, I'm not. 288 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:38,437 I wasn't... That's all right. Here's your Horlicks, then, Paul. 289 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:41,637 Oh, thanks, Mum. Hey, Dean? Ooh! 290 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,797 I think you're punching above your weight there. 291 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:47,320 Well, we both are. Yeah, I'm not sure it works like that. 292 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,397 So, how did you two meet? 293 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:55,597 Oh, so, I was in Costa Coffee, 294 00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:57,317 Katie was sitting at another table. 295 00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:00,877 Yeah? And when she got up to leave, I noticed she'd left her phone. 296 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,077 Right. So you returned it to her? 297 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:04,717 No, I stole it. 298 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,597 Then later, the phone rings, I answer it, 299 00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:08,397 say I found it, and arranged to meet up with her. 300 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,797 You know, collect the reward. OK. Then we got on really well. 301 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,837 It's romantic, innit? 302 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:14,957 Almost. Yeah. 303 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:16,757 So, you got a reward? 304 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:19,237 Well, I mean, Katie's my reward, really. 305 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,197 But, yeah, £80. 306 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:23,237 Don't tell her the part where I stole the phone. 307 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,237 Oh, I won't, I won't. OK. 308 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,517 Oh, we're good for getting dunked on Sunday? 309 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,477 Uh, dunked? Yeah. Baptised. 310 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,437 Father Damian's agreed to do it for us. 311 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,877 Dunk the doughnuts. Good to godfather! 312 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:37,117 Oh, well done, Dean! Ha-ha! 313 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,117 Oh, hi, love. How's it going? 314 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,117 Hi, Granny. Are you looking forward to your big gig? 315 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:45,077 Oh, yeah. Nervous but excited. 316 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:48,037 You were terrific at the Lamb and Flag. 317 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,637 Thanks. You said, a few times. 318 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:52,557 Uh, I actually... 319 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:56,277 About that. G worries that, um, you know, while we're... 320 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:58,477 ...while we're still quite unknown, 321 00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:01,397 don't have many fans - or any fans, really... 322 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:02,557 You've got me. 323 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,277 Exactly. That's... 324 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:08,197 Yeah. He's just wondering if you could maybe... 325 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,077 I'm sorry to ask you, but. 326 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:13,557 ...not come to our gigs, for a bit, 327 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:16,957 just until you can blend in more with other people. 328 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:20,797 Is G still angry with me about killing George Harrison? 329 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:24,520 Oh, no. No, it's not that. It's the... The dancing. 330 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,557 Um... 331 00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:30,560 It's just the whole thing. The optics, you know? 332 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:35,037 Of course. Thanks. Sorry. 333 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:36,837 Who killed George Harrison, then? 334 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:38,997 Uh... Oh, me. Maybe. 335 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:43,717 Unless he started smoking before 1961. Mm. Interesting. 336 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:44,917 RACHEL: Oh, my God! 337 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:48,557 Why? You like the Beatles, do you? Well, I like Thomas the Tank Engine, 338 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,437 and I know Ringo Starr does the voice for that, so... 339 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:51,877 So, no, then? 340 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,997 RACHEL MOANS Lower! Go low or go home. 341 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,280 I think this is as low as it goes, actually, Katie. 342 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,920 OK. Oh! 343 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:06,077 Just head straight for the toilets. It's all about confidence. 344 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,717 I'm not confident, am I? This is why I find the modern world 345 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,197 generally horrible! 346 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,517 This is The George This is where the christening do is happening later. 347 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,157 Is it? Yeah. Oh, good! 348 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:15,680 Oh! 349 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,280 Oh! It's the ladies. 350 00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:26,357 Toilets are for customers only, bro. I know. I know, I know, I know, 351 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:29,037 so... And it doesn't matter because I am a customer. I'm coming to 352 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:32,277 the post-christening do here later, so... OK, so you can use the toilet 353 00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:35,677 later, when you are a customer. OK, well, I can just buy something 354 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,717 now if that's... Sure. What can I get you, bro? 355 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,837 Um... Do you have Horlicks? 356 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:44,437 Don't get a Horlicks! A pint of Guinness, please. 357 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,157 A pint? Why are you getting a pint? 358 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:50,197 Just get a half. It's too late now, Sam. I've already ordered it. 359 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,837 And, bro, bro, can you please, uh, 360 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:56,717 refill my hot-bot for me while I'm in the gents? 361 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,997 My hot water bottle. Thank you so much. Oh, my God! 362 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:02,757 Sure. And I'll have a shot of vodka. Really? 363 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:06,437 Yeah. Just need something to, um... I'm shitting myself a bit. 364 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:09,077 Aw! Oh! I've got the Imodium in my bag. 365 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:12,677 No, no, I mean I'm nervous about the gig later. 366 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:16,277 Oh, I see. And could I have some ice, please? 367 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:19,997 Sure. Ice water, or...? Yes, but without the water. 368 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,677 My knees are very sore. I've been working out, 369 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:24,837 I guess, too much. Stretch them out. Yeah, just stretch them out. 370 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:28,117 I'll squat. Yeah. SAM: You should be careful, Mum. 371 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,797 Look, don't worry. You'll be amazing. 372 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,637 I can't wait to see it. 373 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:37,437 You...? Uh... No, I mean Sammy's film of it afterwards. 374 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,517 No, don't worry, I, uh... I won't be there. 375 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,997 BARMAN: Where's the ice lady? I'm here. I was squatting, 376 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,800 which hasn't helped at all! 377 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:49,477 Can I order some nuggets, please? 378 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,597 Deano! Go on, Dean! 379 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,677 Dunk the hunk. Oh, well done, Dean. 380 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,277 Well done. In that water! 381 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,357 Incredible, son. Look at him go. 382 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,797 I baptise you in the name of the Father... God. 383 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,677 ...the Son... Jesus...and the Holy Spirit. No idea. 384 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,237 Oh, my God! 385 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:07,517 CHEERING, APPLAUSE 386 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,917 Deano! Well done. 387 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:13,357 Peace be with you. Yeah. Wet T-shirt competition, anyone? 388 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,997 Oh, it's lovely here, isn't it? 389 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:18,917 Yeah, it's really nice, Mum. 390 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,840 Just a shame about the sewage company. Yeah. 391 00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,877 Sorry... What do you mean? 392 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:27,837 Over 4,000 hours, 393 00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:31,837 discharging raw faeces last year, apparently. 394 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,877 OK, Paul. You ready? Uh... 395 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:35,557 Yeah. Sorry, Father. 396 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,957 Where was this, Mum? Wasn't here, was it? 397 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,717 So this is a full-immersion baptism. 398 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,357 The best thing is to hold on to me, 399 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,637 and I'll guide you in and out of the water. 400 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,237 Well, OK. It can mess you up, by the way. 401 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,397 You know, the squatting, like, stuff can suddenly, 402 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,077 like, ping or crunch in your back and your knees. 403 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,397 So, like, if you want to get some straps or sport tape now... 404 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,997 Sport tape? No, I think I'll be OK. 405 00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:01,077 Thank you. You know, I'm naturally quite a flexible person. 406 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:05,477 Um, and Katie says my technique is excellent, so, um... 407 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:08,117 You got this, Paolo! Oh, here he goes. 408 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,037 Keep your mouth closed, Paul. 409 00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:13,837 I baptise you in the name of the Father, Son, 410 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,277 and the Holy Spirit. Yay! Woo! 411 00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:18,677 OK, um... That didn't work. Huh?! 412 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,957 Your hands, they didn't go under. 413 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:22,757 Right. Well, can I just pop it in now? 414 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,997 We have to do it again. What? The whole thing? 415 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:26,997 Full immersion. Some of it went up my nose! 416 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:30,357 Oh, my God. I baptise you in the name of the Father, 417 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,437 Son, and the Holy Spirit. 418 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:33,917 Oh, hang on! Woo! 419 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,557 Paul! Woo! You have to keep your hands down! 420 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:39,957 Full immersion, Paul. Got to get... Full immersion... hands in. 421 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:41,997 Don't thumbs up. We'll have to do it again. DEAN: I went under. 422 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,477 I baptise you in the name of the Father... Come on! 423 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,877 The Son, and the Holy Spirit. Oh, God! 424 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,757 OK. That's not going to work. Your hands, Paul! 425 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:50,637 You need to keep your hands in. 426 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,677 All right, just give us a chance, all right? I'll get there! 427 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,437 DEAN: I did make it look easy, to be fair. Let's try again! 428 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,357 Can we tie him up? 429 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,797 SUE: Right. Off we go, then. 430 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:02,677 Hurry up, Paul. 431 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:07,037 Yes, I know. I've just downed a pint of Guinness, Mum. 432 00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:09,997 OK? And Rache is still... Come on, Rache! 433 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:11,797 RACHEL GROANS 434 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:14,317 It was you that made us stop in the first place! 435 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,397 And it was Sam who ordered food! 436 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,997 Yeah, I can't believe you ordered nuggets, mate. 437 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:22,037 What?! My nuggets came quicker than your nuggets. 438 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:27,397 I wish mine were nuggets. It was more like... McFlurry. Oh! 439 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:29,677 You all right, Rachel, love? 440 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:33,117 No, Sue, it's my knees. They're throbbing! 441 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:36,000 Oh... I just need something to sort of hold them. 442 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:41,040 Oh, I know. Amy, come and help. 443 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,357 That's it. Now, how is that Rachel, love? 444 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:48,317 Yeah, pretty good, actually, mobility-wise. 445 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,757 Not sure what it does to my outfit exactly, but... 446 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,517 You look a bit like RoboCop. Yeah. 447 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,717 You know, it's starting, like, right now? 448 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:59,077 Oh, God! Oh! Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. OK. 449 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,957 When's the actual water bit? Well, can you drag it out? 450 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:03,397 Can you sing another hymn? 451 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,877 No, no, don't do that! Do not do that! 452 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:10,037 Robin is suggesting that Katie and Jelson step in as godparents! 453 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:13,277 No! No way! We will be there! No way, Robin! We will be there! 454 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:15,157 All right? There is a godparent promise. 455 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,717 A God promise! 456 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:20,437 Just park closer to the machine, Mum! I tried, Amy! 457 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,877 I can do it. Just get out the car, Mum! 458 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:25,997 I... can... reach. Rachel! SHE STRAINS 459 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,517 CRACKING, SHE MOANS ALL: Oh! 460 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,677 I heard that. Oh, God! Oh, Rachel! I think I've done my back! 461 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,677 Oh, Mum! Oh, I've done my back! 462 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:35,677 We're really late, by the way. 463 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,397 Yeah. Come on, Rache! 464 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:38,677 Quick! 465 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:40,720 Oh, I hope there's a toilet in here! Sh! 466 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:45,680 Hello... 467 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:48,157 ...everyone. 468 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,320 PAUL GROANS 469 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:55,280 Sorry. Oh... Right. 470 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:00,400 Sorry. 471 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:08,397 Oh, babe, have you been shopping in TK Maxx again? 472 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,037 TK Maxx? No. It's tape. 473 00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:13,597 The service started 20 minutes ago. 20 minutes ago. 474 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,957 Yeah, well, great. I'm very ill. 475 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,557 Hence the hot-bot. Amy, can you sort us out a couple of chairs, please? 476 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,397 Could you please, Amy? Right. Well, you shouldn't come to 477 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:21,837 church if you're sick. Well, you 478 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:24,157 shouldn't dunk people in faecal water. 479 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,797 I mean, why do it in a river at all? Dad, chill! 480 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:28,717 Jesus was baptised in the River Jordan. 481 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,157 OK, well, I'm guessing Anglian Water 482 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:34,677 didn't illegally dump sewage into that beforehand! 483 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,677 Oh! And that doesn't explain why she's wrapped in... 484 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:37,997 Is that duck tape?! Yeah. 485 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,277 It's DUCT tape! It is. It is duck tape, yes. 486 00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:42,597 That's what I said. No, it's not. 487 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:45,237 I got a bit carried away. CHUCKLING 488 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:48,557 I've been doing too many squats. Not possible. 489 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,717 It is possible, Katie. I can't bend my knees. 490 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,637 Sit down, Mum. Thank you. She looks like the Tin Man. 491 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,357 I said RoboCop. Anyone silver, basically. 492 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,117 Can I continue with the baptism now? 493 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,757 Yeah, sorry, I've just got to nip to the loo quickly. Very quickly. 494 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:02,237 I've just downed a pint of Guinness! 495 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,637 Legend. Nope. No time. 496 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,117 If you can't stand by the font as a godparent, 497 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:08,957 I'm afraid you'll have to sit it out. 498 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:12,157 OK, fine. Forget it. Sorry, Katie. Sorry, Jelson. 499 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,360 I'm ready. Righto. Off you go. 500 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:18,117 Didn't want to do it anyway. Oh, my God, Mum. 501 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:19,877 No, it's all right, I just can't... I'll just tip you out. 502 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,917 Just tip it a bit... Will your legs hold? Thank you. 503 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,797 Parents and godparents, 504 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:25,877 is it your wish for Atlas Bruce to be baptised 505 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,557 in the faith of the church, which you've all professed with you? Yes. 506 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,917 Big time. It is. Atlas Bruce... OK. 507 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:35,237 ...I baptise you in the name of the Father... Come on, Atlas. 508 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,680 ...the Son, and the... Whoa, Dad! 509 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,797 Oh, no... Sh! What's he doing? 510 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,317 Stop it! Hmm? What? 511 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,877 SUE: Oh, Paul! 512 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,837 I said we should have got you some nappies! 513 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:53,077 Oh, gross! Oh, my God! What? What is it? Dad! 514 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,757 "What is it?" Do you seriously not even know you're doing it? 515 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,197 It's your strides, mate. Huh? Your trousers. Oh, my God! Oh! 516 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:01,277 I'm so sorry. Oh, no! 517 00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:04,997 Oh, it's my hot-bot! Oh! It's my hot-bot. 518 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:08,997 It's leaking! It's not urine. The duct tape has lost its adhesion, 519 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:10,997 so it's leaking. I've not wet myself! 520 00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,317 Well, you have. No, I haven't. Not in a bad way. 521 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,557 No. It's fine, I'm fine. Carry on, please. 522 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,197 Oh, gosh, no. Hang on. I'm about to... 523 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:21,557 I'm about to buckle, if someone... Oh! Got you, Rache! OK? Oh, God! 524 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,637 I can't bend, you see. Yeah, I know. It's wet. 525 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:25,957 Slide her through the urine... Yeah. Slide her through Paul's urine. 526 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,437 It's not urine. It's not urine! 527 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,157 It's not urine! OK... It smells like urine. 528 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:32,677 Oh, my God! It's not urine! 529 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,477 This isn't a great look at all. I'm so sorry. Carry on. 530 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:37,557 I baptise you in the name of the Father, 531 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,037 Son, and the Holy Spirit. It's not urine! 532 00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:42,197 Godparents in, then? Just cut out the trousers. I don't want the 533 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,277 trousers in. I'm trying to, babe. I'm trying to. 534 00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:46,797 CHATTER, BABY CRIES Do you just do this all the time? 535 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:48,277 Everyone say, "Baby!" 536 00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:52,037 Sue? Dean thought you might like to see a photo. 537 00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:55,677 Oh, right. Hang on. It's not a willy one, is it? 538 00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:58,437 Because I wouldn't like to see that. What?! 539 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,877 No, it's George Harrison, 540 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:03,797 from 1960, smoking. Look. 541 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,477 Oh! Oh, Jelson! 542 00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,637 Oh! Thank the Lord! Are you all right? Yeah! 543 00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:13,077 I didn't kill George Harrison! SHE LAUGHS 544 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:16,557 Oh. Um, do you want any more pitchers of Long Island iced tea? 545 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,957 SCATTERED CHEERS We... Oh, actually, we... 546 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:23,357 No, no. We can't. Um, sorry, everyone, just a quick announcement. 547 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:26,437 It is now, ladies and gentlemen, time to drain your drinks 548 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,317 and your bladders and head over to Bogey's. 549 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:30,797 CHEERING 550 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,197 ...for Atlas's very first BBOTB - 551 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,157 Bedford Battle of the Bands - 552 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:38,277 where our very own Amy Jessop will be performing! 553 00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:40,277 CHEERING 554 00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:41,917 Ugh...! Oh, God. 555 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,797 Battle of the Bands! OK. 556 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,837 OK. Good luck. 557 00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:48,357 Go on, then. Yeah, thanks. 558 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,317 What are you doing, Mum? You not coming in? 559 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,597 No, no, I'll wait out here. 560 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:54,557 It's a bit loud for me. 561 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:57,357 What, here? You're not going to be lonely? 562 00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:00,637 Oh, no, no, look, I've got my Lonely Planet book. 563 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:02,880 OK. All right. See you in a bit. 564 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,200 Go get 'em, Amy! 565 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:08,640 You ready? Yeah. 566 00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:16,400 Pretty good, yeah? You don't like it? 567 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:22,597 Give it up for, um, Cold Sick. 568 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:24,997 Sickos! Yeah, Cold Sick! 569 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:26,597 Decent, lads, decent! 570 00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:30,197 Next up, we have The G Hypothesis. 571 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:33,957 CHEERING 572 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:35,280 Good luck! 573 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:39,197 What? How come you're here? Well, I'm not dead, Sam! 574 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,797 I'm just not going out with Amy anymore. Oh, yeah. Of course, sorry. 575 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:43,957 And I put up with a lot of terrible rehearsals, 576 00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:47,317 so I'd like to see the end product. And, you know, I missed you guys, 577 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,317 so... Nice. Sorry. 578 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,797 My God. I mean, look at that. Yeah. 579 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:55,797 I cannot believe she's still squatting. Mm. 580 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,637 You know, if that's what it takes to stay looking young, 581 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,840 then you can shove it up your core. 582 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:06,397 Yeah, look, I'm sorry if I make you feel old, Rache. 583 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,077 Older. 584 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:10,997 With my hot-bot and my Horlicks. 585 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:12,837 Of course you don't... Is that Horlicks? 586 00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:14,637 Didn't realise you were drinking Horlicks. 587 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:16,997 Yeah, I needed to settle my tummy. OK. 588 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:20,557 At least I'm not actually incontinent. Yeah. Yet. Ha. 589 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:22,040 I will be. Ha! 590 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,797 I'm not scared of getting old. Mm. 591 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,560 As long as I get to do it with you. Hm. 592 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,717 Ah! My back. Are you all right? Yeah. Not really. 593 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:39,797 We'll have a bath. Yeah. We'll have a bath later. Stop it. 594 00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,797 MICROPHONE FEEDS BACK OK, Bedford, let me hear it! 595 00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:44,757 SCATTERED CHEERS 596 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,077 My name's G. This is Amy. 597 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,877 Welcome to The G hypothesis. 598 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:51,717 One, two... Sorry. 599 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,197 One sec. Um... What are you doing? No, it's... 600 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,637 I just have to... I'll be back. I'll be back. 601 00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,237 Unprofessional! Where's she going? 602 00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,157 She'll be right back. Sorry about this. 603 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:02,557 She just doing a... doing a slash or something? 604 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,717 Where are you going? 605 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:06,000 Amy! 606 00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:14,717 Oh... Oh! 607 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:17,237 Here she is! Oh, yes, please! 608 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,717 Where have you been? Front and centre. 609 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,757 Oh, for God's sake. Sorry. I just wanted to, um... 610 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:24,717 This is my granny, everyone. CHEERING 611 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:26,357 She's the coolest person I know, 612 00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:28,997 and she's met the Beatles and... Beatles! Thomas the Tank! 613 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:30,477 She has! Killed one of them. 614 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,997 Yeah, I just... I really wanted her to be here for this. 615 00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:36,557 Amy, I love you. Aw! 616 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:38,037 And you, Graham. 617 00:27:38,120 --> 00:27:40,237 It's G! It's G now. 618 00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,637 Oh. Hey, Maya. 619 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:44,037 Thanks for coming. 620 00:27:44,120 --> 00:27:48,877 Aw! Oh! Aw! Maya! Oh, I didn't know you were going to be here. 621 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,437 Oh, lovely! All right, let's hurry up. Come on. 622 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:55,277 OK, here we go. One, two, a one, two, three, four! 623 00:27:55,360 --> 00:27:58,917 ♪ Running in the city of empty smiles... ♪ 624 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:00,480 Yeah! 625 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:07,000 ♪ A tear upon the face of a robot child 626 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:12,720 ♪ An emoji in the place of a mother's smile 627 00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:16,797 ♪ Can't you look beyond your screen 628 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,997 ♪ For a little while? 629 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:20,837 ♪ Oh-oh-oh 630 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:25,800 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ah. ♪