Happy Gilmore

1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 2 00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:54,763 <i>My name is Happy Gilmore.</i> 3 00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:58,641 <i>Ever since I was old enough to skate, I loved hockey.</i> 4 00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:02,437 <i>I wasn't really the greatest skater, though.</i> 5 00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:06,274 <i>But that didn't stop my dad from teaching me</i> 6 00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:09,319 <i>the secret of smacking the greatest slap shot.</i> 7 00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:14,324 <i>My dad worshipped hockey. My mom didn't.</i> 8 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,576 <i>That's why she moved to Egypt,</i> 9 00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:19,663 <i>where there's not a hockey rink within 1,500 miles.</i> 10 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,708 <i>Dad always took me to games to cheer for our favorite player</i> 11 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:26,336 <i>Terry O'Reilly, the Tasmanian Devil.</i> 12 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:30,590 <i>He wasn't the biggest guy in the league, but he feared nobody, just like me.</i> 13 00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:32,426 <i>Handsome fellow, huh?</i> 14 00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:35,845 <i>He always said that when I grew up, I could be anything I wanted to be</i> 15 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:39,098 <i>but I never wanted to be anything but a hockey player.</i> 16 00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:44,228 <i>Yeah, my childhood was going great, but life is full of surprises.</i> 17 00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:54,197 <i>After the funeral</i> 18 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:57,408 <i>I was sent to live with my grandma in Waterbury.</i> 19 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:06,709 <i>I was kind of nervous, since I really didn't know her that well</i> 20 00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:11,047 <i>but she dressed like Gene Simmons from KISS to cheer me up.</i> 21 00:02:11,130 --> 00:02:13,800 <i>She's the sweetest person in the world.</i> 22 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,682 <i>See, after my dad died, I developed kind of a short fuse.</i> 23 00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,809 <i>That kid right there just stole my party blower</i> 24 00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,269 <i>and instead of asking for it back</i> 25 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:27,230 <i>I felt I had to belt him in the head a bunch of times with a hammer.</i> 26 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,565 <i>Look at me go.</i> 27 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:31,984 <i>But most of the time, I was quick to say I was sorry.</i> 28 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:37,949 <i>During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records:</i> 29 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:40,160 <i>most time spent in a penalty box,</i> 30 00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:42,703 <i>and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate</i> 31 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:44,498 <i>and try to stab somebody.</i> 32 00:02:46,290 --> 00:02:49,335 <i>After I graduated, I had a lot of different jobs.</i> 33 00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:51,170 <i>I was a road worker,</i> 34 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:54,674 <i>a janitor,</i> 35 00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,346 <i>a security guard,</i> 36 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,269 <i>a gas station attendant,</i> 37 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,940 <i>and a plumber.</i> 38 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:16,446 <i>Lately, I've been working construction. It's not a bad racket.</i> 39 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,823 <i>I'm a pretty good shot with a nail gun.</i> 40 00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:23,407 <i>But one day my boss, Mr. Larson, got in the way.</i> 41 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:28,458 <i>Apparently, he also has a short fuse. Look at that monster.</i> 42 00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:33,296 <i>He got a few lucky punches in there, but I still feel I won the fight.</i> 43 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,382 <i>Anyways, those jobs weren't for me.</i> 44 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:39,635 <i>I was put on this planet for one reason, to play hockey.</i> 45 00:03:41,096 --> 00:03:44,724 That's my puck, baby! Don't you ever touch my puck! 46 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:48,186 Number 18. Is that Gilmore again? 47 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,396 How many times has this guy tried out, anyway? 48 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,898 At least 10 times. 49 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:54,109 The guy's got a lot of intensity. 50 00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:58,071 Not a real strong skater, though. 51 00:03:58,155 --> 00:03:59,906 Ain't the best puck handler, either. 52 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:01,616 Man, which side are you playing for? 53 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:06,121 Yeah, but, my God... 54 00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,000 What a shot. 55 00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:13,086 Damn it! 56 00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,714 Is that goal regulation size, or what? 57 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,512 Number 1, 58 00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:26,349 number 52, number 16. 59 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,811 They saw my power, man. Ain't no way they're gonna dog me this year. 60 00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:31,313 Number 9 61 00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:33,690 and number 43. 62 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:38,361 The rest of you, if your number wasn't called, better luck next year. 63 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:41,823 Hey, Coach, what's going on here, man? What about me? 64 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:43,366 Gilmore. 65 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:46,494 Gilmore, I called your number, didn't I? 66 00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,329 No, no, no, no, you didn't. 67 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,042 Well, better luck next year. 68 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:56,087 - Now, that wasn't very nice! - What are you doing? 69 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,049 Get him off me! 70 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:01,634 Somebody help me! 71 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,594 You think you're better than me? 72 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,810 Hey, where are you going? I got us Subway. 73 00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:12,228 I already ate. 74 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:16,483 Well, I went to high school with a guy who worked there, so we got extra meatball. 75 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:18,359 Great. I got to run. See you later. 76 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:20,862 Hey, can you just stick around? I kind of had a rough day. 77 00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:21,988 Bye. 78 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:24,115 - When are you getting back? - Never. 79 00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:31,831 Terry, wait! 80 00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:34,250 <i>Wait! Hold on a second, babe.</i> 81 00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:35,377 Yeah. 82 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:37,837 You're not going for good, are you, honey? 83 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,548 You're going nowhere, Happy, and you're taking me with you. 84 00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:44,344 All you ever talk about is being a pro hockey player, but there's a problem. 85 00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,011 You're not any good! 86 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:50,016 I am good! You know what? You're a lousy kindergarten teacher! 87 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:53,436 I've seen those finger paintings you bring home, and they suck! 88 00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:59,772 I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean that. I think they're excellent finger paintings. 89 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:01,694 <i>Please don't go.</i> 90 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:04,822 I am not spending the rest of my life with a loser. 91 00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:05,907 <i>I'm gone.</i> 92 00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:10,370 Good! Then, get the hell out of my life! Who needs you? Beat it! Leave me alone! 93 00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,957 I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean that either. 94 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,126 I just yell sometimes 'cause I get so scared, 95 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:19,379 scared of being a nobody. 96 00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:23,299 Why don't you just come back upstairs, honey? 97 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:26,969 I'll give you the old smoochy-smoo kissy-wissy. 98 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,179 Hmm. 99 00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:31,599 You know Happy's gonna make everything okay. 100 00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:42,484 <i>I wanna kiss you all over</i> 101 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,446 <i>And over and again</i> 102 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:49,492 <i>I wanna kiss you all over</i> 103 00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:55,623 <i>Till the night closes in</i> 104 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:59,460 <i>Till the night closes in</i> 105 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:01,962 Terry! 106 00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:15,518 Yeah. 107 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,981 All right, sit tight. I'll be right over. 108 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,990 Hey, you no want breakfast? 109 00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:40,543 Grandma! 110 00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:42,921 Grandma! 111 00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:45,465 Hey, put that stuff down! That's my grandmother's! 112 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:48,509 Cut it out, kid. We're just doing our jobs. 113 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,345 What are you talking about? 114 00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:53,472 Your grandmother hasn't paid her taxes in over a decade. 115 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:54,640 What? 116 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,977 Grandma, you didn't pay your taxes? 117 00:07:58,060 --> 00:08:01,105 I would have, but I didn't have any money. 118 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,150 Where are you taking all her stuff? 119 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,861 I'm not taking her stuff, okay? The government is. 120 00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:10,073 It's not like I'm taking her stuff over to my place 121 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,950 or something like that, all right? So don't get mad at me. 122 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:17,163 But she's an old lady. I mean, look at her. She's old. 123 00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:20,375 You can't just take her stuff. She's too old. 124 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:24,795 I'm sorry. I have no discretion here. Her stuff is now our stuff. 125 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:28,716 Well, at least we got the house, right? 126 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:32,512 I mean, I can bring furniture from my place over here. We're gonna be okay, Grandma. 127 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:36,098 Now you're really gonna be mad. I have to take the house, too. 128 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:39,935 No, look, pal, my grandfather built this house with his bare hands. 129 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:44,399 My grandma's been here over sixty years. You can't take her house. 130 00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:46,984 Mrs. Gilmore owes the IRS 131 00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:50,363 $270,000 in back taxes. 132 00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,240 - Oh, my God. - We have to take the house. 133 00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:54,825 And if you can't get the money together in ninety days 134 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:57,161 we're gonna have to sell the house to someone else. 135 00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:58,955 You hate me, don't you? 136 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:00,873 No, no, no, I don't hate you. 137 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:08,922 He hates me. 138 00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:14,554 Don't worry, Grandma, everything's going to be all right. 139 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,806 Look at this place, Silver Acres Rest Home. 140 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:21,060 Hell, it looks more like a country club than a nursing home. 141 00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,146 Nice grass, nice people. 142 00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:25,940 - Now, I hope you brought your bathing suit. - Oh, Happy. 143 00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:28,943 I'm telling you, this place is perfect. You're gonna make friends in no time. 144 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,737 Mister! 145 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:34,156 Get me out of here! 146 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:37,744 Here, just eat that! Leave us alone! 147 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:42,123 Grandma, you don't gotta do this, you know. You can come live with me. 148 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,500 Nonsense, dear. You're a grown man. 149 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:48,337 I wouldn't burden you like that, and that's final. 150 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,591 You tell me, how's that nice girlfriend of yours? 151 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:53,842 She got hit by a car. She's dead. 152 00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:55,219 Look, I'm telling you, 153 00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:58,347 I am gonna get that $270,000 and we're gonna get your house back. 154 00:09:58,430 --> 00:09:59,682 That is a promise. 155 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:00,933 Oh, sure. 156 00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:05,396 In the meantime, just stay here and have some fun. 157 00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,940 I will, dear. Don't worry. 158 00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,694 Pardon me, but it's naptime. 159 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,613 All right, a nap, that sounds nice. 160 00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:16,866 - You go. - I love you. 161 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,785 I love you too, darling. 162 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,370 - Okay, bye. - Goodbye. 163 00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,039 Hey, buddy. 164 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,625 I want you to do me a favor. You see that lady? 165 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:29,128 - She's very important to me, okay? - Okay. 166 00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:32,548 So I want you to take extra-special care of her. 167 00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:34,550 You know what I'm talking about here? 168 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,720 I can't accept that, but I'll tell you what I can do. 169 00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:41,891 I can take extra-special care of that young lady over there for nothing. 170 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,603 Okay, I appreciate that. 171 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,980 Have a nice afternoon. 172 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:52,151 Sir, could I trouble you for a glass of warm milk? 173 00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,903 It helps put me to sleep. 174 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:57,198 You could trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! 175 00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:01,827 Now, you will go to sleep, or I will put you to sleep. 176 00:11:01,910 --> 00:11:04,997 Check out the name tag. You're in my world now, Grandma. 177 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:06,749 Oh, dear. 178 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:12,088 Hey, bet you I can hit a ball past that tree. 179 00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:14,298 $20 says you can't. 180 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:17,676 Hey, morons, I told you I wanna watch the hockey game. 181 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,679 Now, cut the golf sissy crap and finish up in there. 182 00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:21,805 Relax. 183 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:26,144 Think of it as a way to enjoy your grandma's possessions for another half hour. 184 00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:31,190 Oh, my God, you got ahold of that one! 185 00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:34,193 - I'd like to see you try it. - Yeah, it's not as easy as it looks. 186 00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:36,696 Sorry, ladies, I'm not the golfing type. 187 00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,531 I'll tell you what. You hit a ball past my ball 188 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:43,119 and we'll go straight back to work so you can watch your precious hockey game. 189 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,913 Give me the stupid club. 190 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:52,920 Look at this stupid thing. 191 00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:56,590 This is gonna be hilarious. I mean, look how he's standing. 192 00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:59,051 You like that? 193 00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:14,567 Holy shit! 194 00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:15,735 Go back to work. 195 00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,736 That house is like four hundred yards away. 196 00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:20,239 - Is that good? - That's unbelievable. 197 00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:21,907 Beginner's luck. 198 00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,452 $20 says you can't do it again. 199 00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:25,869 Bring it on. 200 00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:40,843 You boys are gonna pay for that! 201 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,724 - You hit that guy! - He shouldn't have been standing there. 202 00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:48,893 One more time. Double or nothing. 203 00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:50,853 You better pay up. 204 00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,409 All right, maybe we should get back inside. 205 00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,869 Hey, you made a bet. Pay the man. 206 00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:24,220 All right! 207 00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:27,056 Thanks, man. Tell your friends. 208 00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:28,766 - Step right up, folks! - He's good. 209 00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,059 See if you can outdrive 210 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:34,272 the amazing golf ball whacker guy! 211 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,901 That's great. 212 00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:40,987 Very good. 213 00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:43,238 Bend those knees. 214 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:46,200 Remember now, it's all in the hips. You're doing great. 215 00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:47,576 It's all in the hips. 216 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,579 All right, $50 I can hit it over the highway! Any takers? 217 00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:01,424 That's real good. 218 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:04,885 So long, sucker. 219 00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,225 You're like a freak. 220 00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:14,270 - How often do you play? - Never. This is my first time. 221 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,023 Hey, you should play in the Waterbury Open tomorrow. 222 00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:19,274 Yeah. Yeah, all right, I'll see you guys there. 223 00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:25,823 He's gonna play. 224 00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:28,283 And, by God, he's gonna win. 225 00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:42,506 - Hey, mister, you gotta wear a helmet. - Don't worry about it. 226 00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:51,390 Yeah, yeah, bring that shit on, man. 227 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,392 Oh, God, I love it. 228 00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:54,727 Awesome. 229 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,813 Oh, God, that hurt a little, but I'm all right. 230 00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,732 Oh, my God, son, what the hell are you doing? 231 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:02,360 Three hundred and sixty-four more days till next year's hockey tryouts. 232 00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:04,445 I gotta toughen up. Yeah! 233 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,698 Oh, God, that felt good. Yeah! 234 00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:10,493 Come on, boy. Cut that out. You're making me sick. 235 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,202 Hey! 236 00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:14,747 - So you're a hockey player, huh? - Yeah. 237 00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:17,583 You're gonna give that shit up. You're gonna concentrate on golf. 238 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:18,918 Who the hell are you? 239 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,503 I'm the club pro here, Chubbs Peterson. 240 00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:26,217 I'm offering to teach you how to play golf, personally, for free. 241 00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:27,384 No. 242 00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:30,680 - You have no idea who I am, do you? - No, l don't. 243 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,516 Back in 1965, 244 00:15:33,890 --> 00:15:37,686 Sports Illustrated said I was going to be the next Arnold Palmer. 245 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,146 Yeah? And what happened? 246 00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,565 They wouldn't let me play on the Pro Tour anymore. 247 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,859 I'm sorry. Because you're black? 248 00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:47,279 Hell, no. Damned alligator bit my hand off. 249 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:48,822 - Oh, my God! - Yeah. 250 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,282 Tournament down in Florida. 251 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,451 I hooked my ball in the rough down by the lake, 252 00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:56,121 damned alligator just popped up! Cut me down in my prime. 253 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,456 He got me, 254 00:15:57,540 --> 00:16:00,918 but I tore one of that bastards eyes out though. Look at that. 255 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:03,629 You're pretty sick, Chubbs. 256 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:07,883 I have never seen anyone who can hit that ball half as far as you can. 257 00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:09,635 You got real talent, kid. 258 00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,846 Well, that's nice of you to say 259 00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:14,473 but I've been training to be a hockey player my whole life. 260 00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:18,143 Golf's no different from hockey. Requires talent and self-discipline. 261 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:20,729 Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. 262 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,439 You should talk to my neighbor, the accountant. 263 00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,149 Probably a great golfer. Huge ass. 264 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:27,903 Hey, I bet your neighbor, the accountant, can't drive the ball four hundred yards. 265 00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:32,658 Bet your neighbor, the accountant, doesn't have a shot to get on the Pro Tour. 266 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:34,869 How would I do that? 267 00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:38,455 You win the Open tomorrow, you're automatically on the Pro Tour. 268 00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:42,084 Then, who knows? Maybe you'll win the Tour Championship one day. 269 00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:44,419 Get that gold jacket like I never got. 270 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,298 Gold jacket, green jacket, who gives a shit? 271 00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:55,180 Don't worry about that. Made of wood. It's real sturdy. 272 00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:03,147 Oh, boy. Sorry about that. 273 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,774 Look, it was good to meet you, but... 274 00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:09,820 So... All right, I'm out of here. 275 00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,989 You know, this is not real smart, kid. 276 00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:15,451 I thought you were pro material, primed to make the big bucks. 277 00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:25,836 Hey, Chubbs, what kind of big bucks? 278 00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:36,513 Stupid golf clubs. Why the hell am I doing this? 279 00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:42,978 Must be Burt Reynolds or something. 280 00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:47,358 Good morning. 281 00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:49,443 Son, isn't this great? 282 00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:52,238 Blue skies, fresh-cut grass, birds chirping. 283 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,406 You gonna recite me a poem? Easy. 284 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,409 - Jeez, you love this golf stuff, huh? - Oh, yeah. 285 00:17:57,493 --> 00:18:00,787 Figure a guy your size, well, why didn't you play a normal sport, like football? 286 00:18:00,870 --> 00:18:02,873 My mama wouldn't sign the permission slip. 287 00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:04,375 Thought it might be a little too dangerous. 288 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,126 Yeah, good call. 289 00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,253 Hey, who's that? 290 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:11,256 The shorter guy on the right? Doug Thompson. 291 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,966 He's the president of the Tour. 292 00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:17,179 The other guy, Shooter McGavin, leading money-winner this year. 293 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,847 Hey, who's the girl? 294 00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:22,684 Hi, I'm Virginia Venit, Director of Public Relations for the Tour. 295 00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,436 Of course. I've heard you've done some 296 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,606 really interesting things here in Public Relations. 297 00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:30,609 Really? Because I'm working on a cross-promotional thing right now... 298 00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:33,904 Jeez, you know what would be great? If I could get a Pepsi. 299 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:35,864 Sure. 300 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:39,201 - Oh, miss? - Yeah. 301 00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:40,870 Diet. 302 00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:42,412 Right. 303 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,583 By the way, thanks for dressing up. 304 00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:50,713 Hey, if I saw myself in clothes like those, I'd have to kick my own ass. 305 00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:53,632 <i>Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the Waterbury Open.</i> 306 00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:57,469 <i>Now, before we tee off, I have a very special treat for you.</i> 307 00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:00,055 <i>Ladies and gentlemen, Shooter McGavin.</i> 308 00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:04,560 <i>Thank you.</i> 309 00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:09,815 <i>Thank you, Doug. You know, I saw Doug play yesterday, and I gotta tell you,</i> 310 00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:12,651 <i>this guy spends more time in the sand than David Hasselhoff.</i> 311 00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:15,696 <i>Let me get a little serious on you.</i> 312 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:19,158 <i>Now, you're all aware that today's big winner will be invited to join the Pro Tour</i> 313 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:20,825 <i>and I just want you to know</i> 314 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:23,829 <i>that, although only one of you gets to be my colleague,</i> 315 00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:26,123 <i>all of you are now my friends.</i> 316 00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:31,628 <i>Thank you. Now go get them!</i> 317 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:37,175 Lafferty, Daniel... 318 00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:39,594 and Gilmore, Happy. 319 00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:44,725 Hey, where are you going with those clubs, punk? 320 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:48,228 Mr. Gilmore, I'm your caddy. 321 00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:51,482 Oh, I'm sorry about that. No, no, no, let me carry these, all right? 322 00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:54,025 They're my grandfather's. They're pretty old. 323 00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:55,945 Well, what should I do then? 324 00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:59,030 I don't know. Why don't you just watch me 325 00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:01,867 and make sure I don't do anything stupid, okay? 326 00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:07,289 Mr. Gilmore, Mr. Lafferty will be teeing off now. 327 00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,208 All right. Good luck, buddy. 328 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,628 Get out of the way. 329 00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:23,305 Where were you on that one, dipshit? 330 00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:38,862 Probably the only good one I'll hit all day, huh? 331 00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:41,073 - Yeah. - Mr. Gilmore, you're up. 332 00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:42,616 All right. 333 00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:04,763 God damn it! 334 00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:08,058 Time! 335 00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:11,854 Relax. Just do what we talked about, huh? Don't even look at the green. 336 00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:14,689 Make contact with the ball. There's no goalie out there to block it. 337 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,193 Remember, it's all in the hip. Hey, hey, it's all in... 338 00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:19,027 Come on, work with me now. 339 00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:21,446 It's all in the hips. 340 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:24,199 Yeah, it's all in the hips. 341 00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:27,244 - It's all in the hips. - Get off of me! 342 00:21:27,328 --> 00:21:29,496 Hey, just easing the tension, baby. 343 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:32,791 - Just easing the tension. - Well, ease it on someone else. 344 00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:52,561 What the hell? 345 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,984 Come on. Good. Now we just worry about putting, huh? 346 00:21:59,068 --> 00:22:00,736 Oh, yeah. Putting. 347 00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:04,782 All right, now, remember what I said, huh? 348 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,952 Just use your shoulders to push the ball, not your arms. 349 00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:10,370 Don't break the wrist, and bring that putter back just like... 350 00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:14,374 Whoa, whoa, whoa, you're confusing me. Just let me put the ball in the hole. 351 00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:15,584 All right. 352 00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:27,929 Oh, my. 353 00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:31,099 Is this guy kidding? 354 00:22:50,953 --> 00:22:52,454 This is pathetic. 355 00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:07,844 - Yeah! - There you go. Good shot. 356 00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:10,055 - It's about time. - Hey, it is about time. 357 00:23:10,139 --> 00:23:12,099 I mean, I just couldn't get the ball in the hole. 358 00:23:12,182 --> 00:23:14,642 I wanted to, but I just couldn't do it. 359 00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:16,061 Hey, what are you doing? 360 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,342 He shoots, he scores! 361 00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:50,261 Oh, man, that was so much easier than putting. 362 00:23:50,346 --> 00:23:53,098 I should just try to get the ball in one shot every time. 363 00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:54,349 Good plan. 364 00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:56,894 - Did you see that? - Yes. Nice shot. 365 00:23:56,977 --> 00:23:59,604 He just got a hole in one on a par four. 366 00:23:59,688 --> 00:24:01,147 I know, I just said I saw it. 367 00:24:01,230 --> 00:24:04,609 I hope he wins. He's a publicist's dream. 368 00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:09,193 I mean, a guy who can drive the ball that far, he could really draw a crowd. 369 00:24:09,323 --> 00:24:13,076 You know what else could draw a crowd? A golfer with an arm growing out of his ass. 370 00:25:25,149 --> 00:25:26,525 All right, now... 371 00:25:26,984 --> 00:25:30,445 you make this one in four or less shots, you win the tournament. 372 00:25:30,904 --> 00:25:32,071 Four shots. 373 00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:34,283 Just think of it this way. 374 00:25:34,575 --> 00:25:38,203 Other team has pulled their goalie, it's wide open. 375 00:25:38,370 --> 00:25:40,455 All you gotta do is tap it in. 376 00:25:41,330 --> 00:25:42,832 I can do that. 377 00:26:02,144 --> 00:26:04,563 Don't worry about it. You're still in good shape. 378 00:26:04,646 --> 00:26:08,316 All you gotta do is just tap it in. Just tap it in, now. 379 00:26:09,109 --> 00:26:11,277 Hey, just tap it in. 380 00:26:18,077 --> 00:26:21,455 Just tap it in. Just tap it in. 381 00:26:21,538 --> 00:26:24,541 Give it a little tappy. Tap, tap, tap-a-roo. 382 00:26:28,670 --> 00:26:32,298 Grandma, Grandma, Grandma, Grandma. 383 00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:37,679 All right! Yeah! 384 00:26:48,398 --> 00:26:51,150 He's gonna be on the Tour. That's super. 385 00:26:54,570 --> 00:26:56,239 That's cute. 386 00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:59,826 Mr. Gilmore, Virginia Venit. 387 00:27:00,369 --> 00:27:03,413 - Hi, I'm PR Director for the Tour. - Nice to meet you. 388 00:27:03,497 --> 00:27:06,291 I just wanted to say welcome and congratulations. 389 00:27:06,375 --> 00:27:10,087 I saw that hole in one on a par four. That's gotta be some kind of record, huh? 390 00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:11,629 Hey, I got a hockey record. 391 00:27:11,713 --> 00:27:13,798 I took my skate off and tried to stab somebody. 392 00:27:13,882 --> 00:27:16,050 I'm the only guy who ever did that. 393 00:27:16,176 --> 00:27:17,260 That's wonderful. 394 00:27:17,344 --> 00:27:18,803 I'm a little bit bummed, though, you know. 395 00:27:18,887 --> 00:27:20,722 I thought we were gonna get some money for this. 396 00:27:20,806 --> 00:27:25,306 Oh, well, cheer up. Next week in Portland, the winner takes home $216,000. 397 00:27:26,728 --> 00:27:29,063 Woah. How about the guy who comes in last place? 398 00:27:29,148 --> 00:27:30,440 $2,400. 399 00:27:30,524 --> 00:27:33,568 All right! So no matter what, I'm gonna get some money. 400 00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:34,944 Yeah. 401 00:27:36,697 --> 00:27:39,991 Yeah. Well, I'll see you next week then. 402 00:27:40,826 --> 00:27:42,577 - All right, bye. - Bye-bye. 403 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:48,291 Hey, man, I hate to admit this, but this is my first trophy. 404 00:27:48,375 --> 00:27:50,710 Only problem is that goofy golf guy on top. 405 00:27:50,794 --> 00:27:53,588 Maybe the guy at the trophy store could put a little hockey guy on there. 406 00:27:53,672 --> 00:27:55,799 - Happy, shut your trap. - All right. 407 00:27:56,090 --> 00:27:58,009 I gotta admit, you were great out there today. 408 00:27:58,093 --> 00:28:00,428 - Thank you. - But you weren't that great. 409 00:28:00,596 --> 00:28:01,888 A lot of that was luck. 410 00:28:01,972 --> 00:28:04,599 Well, some might call it luck. I like to call it, 411 00:28:04,808 --> 00:28:06,559 well, luck, I guess. So what? 412 00:28:06,643 --> 00:28:09,020 So I want you to put off joining the Pro Tour for a while. 413 00:28:09,104 --> 00:28:11,189 We got a lot of work to do before you go out there 414 00:28:11,273 --> 00:28:12,607 and compete with those real professionals. 415 00:28:12,690 --> 00:28:14,025 Forget it, Chubbs, I learned a lot today. 416 00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:15,360 I'll pick up the rest as I go along. 417 00:28:15,444 --> 00:28:16,695 Stop being a damn fool! 418 00:28:16,778 --> 00:28:19,363 People would kill to be able to hit the long ball like you. 419 00:28:19,448 --> 00:28:22,576 You got an advantage over any man that walks out onto the tee. 420 00:28:22,659 --> 00:28:25,119 All we need to do is develop the rest of your game. 421 00:28:25,204 --> 00:28:27,080 Then, you'd be unstoppable, son. 422 00:28:27,164 --> 00:28:29,749 You're probably right, but I just can’t wait. I need money. 423 00:28:29,833 --> 00:28:32,877 That's spoken like a true asshole. Look, just give me six months. 424 00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:34,879 I'll work with you every day. 425 00:28:35,380 --> 00:28:39,801 No, no, no, no, no, no, I got to go. I appreciate everything. Wish me luck. 426 00:28:44,223 --> 00:28:46,225 Best of luck, kid. Best of luck. 427 00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:50,019 Marty, if you'd stop yapping your trap for a second, I could tell you. 428 00:28:50,103 --> 00:28:52,313 The price is $200 per quilt. 429 00:28:52,940 --> 00:28:55,734 Yeah, well, this is handmade quality shit we're talking here. 430 00:28:55,817 --> 00:28:58,569 Yes, well, when do you need them by? All right. 431 00:28:58,987 --> 00:29:00,405 Good doing business with you. 432 00:29:00,489 --> 00:29:03,909 Okay, listen up everybody. Turn up your volumes. Announcement. 433 00:29:04,326 --> 00:29:07,954 I got good news. We're extending arts and crafts time by four hours today. 434 00:29:08,038 --> 00:29:09,622 My fingers hurt. 435 00:29:09,873 --> 00:29:11,207 What's that? 436 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,584 My fingers hurt. 437 00:29:15,670 --> 00:29:19,841 Now your back’s gonna hurt, 'cause you just pulled landscaping duty. 438 00:29:20,425 --> 00:29:22,218 Anybody else's fingers hurt? 439 00:29:23,929 --> 00:29:25,347 I didn't think so. 440 00:29:26,848 --> 00:29:28,266 Why do you do that to me, huh? 441 00:29:28,350 --> 00:29:30,518 Why do you make me act like that in front of everybody, huh? 442 00:29:30,602 --> 00:29:33,521 Mr. Gilmore! Hey, toidy's straight down to the right, dear. 443 00:29:33,605 --> 00:29:35,064 - How's my grandma? - She's super. 444 00:29:35,148 --> 00:29:37,275 We're just enjoying some arts and crafts time right now. 445 00:29:37,359 --> 00:29:38,985 Grandma's quite a quilter. 446 00:29:39,069 --> 00:29:41,738 Hey. Wow, that's a tremendous looking trophy. 447 00:29:41,822 --> 00:29:46,243 Happy, I'm so glad to see you. I'm glad to see you, too, Grandma. 448 00:29:46,326 --> 00:29:48,828 I've been thinking about you all the time. 449 00:29:48,954 --> 00:29:51,623 Looks like everybody's having fun here, huh? 450 00:29:51,707 --> 00:29:52,833 Yeah. 451 00:29:56,795 --> 00:30:00,298 Grandma, good news. I made the Professional Golfers' Tour. 452 00:30:00,382 --> 00:30:02,926 - That's lovely, dear. - Yeah, it is lovely. 453 00:30:03,010 --> 00:30:04,302 You know what else is lovely? 454 00:30:04,386 --> 00:30:07,305 If I can figure out a way to beat those other guys, 455 00:30:07,389 --> 00:30:08,973 we're gonna get the house back. 456 00:30:09,057 --> 00:30:10,683 Oh, thank God! 457 00:30:10,767 --> 00:30:13,436 I can't stand to live in this place another minute. 458 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,730 What are you talking about? I thought you like it here. 459 00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:18,358 That orderly guy seems very nice. Don't you like him? 460 00:30:18,442 --> 00:30:21,486 Oh, I do. I do. It's just... 461 00:30:21,610 --> 00:30:24,989 Well, the air conditioner's broken. I'm getting a little warm. 462 00:30:25,073 --> 00:30:27,366 Well, just let the kid fix it for you. 463 00:30:27,700 --> 00:30:30,537 All right, got the little twisty knobs. 464 00:30:31,788 --> 00:30:33,915 That ain't doing it. All right. 465 00:30:37,710 --> 00:30:39,421 Mister! Mister! 466 00:30:39,713 --> 00:30:42,382 Get this off of me! Mister! 467 00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:44,342 Hang on, I'll be right down! 468 00:30:45,302 --> 00:30:48,930 You know that "mister, mister" lady? I think I just killed her. 469 00:31:01,109 --> 00:31:05,363 What'd you expect? Norman spends more time in the sand than David Hasselhoff. 470 00:31:06,907 --> 00:31:09,701 Come on, that's funny. Yeah, it was funny the first time I heard it. 471 00:31:09,785 --> 00:31:13,497 - Drink up, would you? - Hey, anybody tapped a keg yet? I'll pump. 472 00:31:14,206 --> 00:31:17,042 - Right. I'm Happy Gilmore. What's up? - Hey, Happy, Mark Lye. 473 00:31:17,125 --> 00:31:18,584 - Welcome to the Tour. - Thanks. 474 00:31:18,668 --> 00:31:22,129 Yeah, I heard about that ace you had on that par four. Man, that's impressive. 475 00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:24,216 - You heard about that? - Yeah. 476 00:31:24,299 --> 00:31:26,426 That's cool. That's a nice jacket. 477 00:31:26,510 --> 00:31:29,763 Yeah, it is, isn't it? They give you one if you win the Tour Championship. 478 00:31:29,846 --> 00:31:31,722 Oh, yeah? What's that? 479 00:31:32,224 --> 00:31:34,559 Just only the biggest tournament of the year. 480 00:31:34,643 --> 00:31:36,269 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 481 00:31:36,353 --> 00:31:37,562 Where's yours? 482 00:31:37,646 --> 00:31:39,522 That's good. It is a good one. He's a funny guy. 483 00:31:39,648 --> 00:31:41,691 I'll have mine in, what, three months, guys? Yeah. 484 00:31:41,775 --> 00:31:43,693 Not if I have anything to do with it, you won't. 485 00:31:43,777 --> 00:31:45,779 Whoa, look out. 486 00:31:46,363 --> 00:31:47,655 You better look out boys. 487 00:31:47,739 --> 00:31:49,198 Hey, if you're not doing anything later 488 00:31:49,282 --> 00:31:51,409 why don't you join us at 9:00 on the ninth green? 489 00:31:51,493 --> 00:31:54,454 - What happens there? - That's a secret of the pros. 490 00:31:54,538 --> 00:31:56,248 All right, cool. Thanks, man. 491 00:31:56,330 --> 00:31:57,915 All right, I'm out of here. 492 00:31:57,999 --> 00:32:00,584 I hear that Asteroids machine calling my name from the game room. 493 00:32:00,669 --> 00:32:01,836 So, peace. 494 00:32:02,087 --> 00:32:04,422 Oh, and Happy? Dress nice, huh? 495 00:32:04,798 --> 00:32:06,466 All right, all right. 496 00:32:16,810 --> 00:32:18,186 Almost 9:00. 497 00:32:41,042 --> 00:32:44,003 Hey, public relations lady, you see Shooter McGavin around? 498 00:32:44,087 --> 00:32:45,129 No. Why? 499 00:32:45,213 --> 00:32:47,006 I just need to beat the living piss out of him. 500 00:32:47,090 --> 00:32:50,218 Wait. Let me guess, the old "ninth green at 9:00" trick, huh? 501 00:32:50,302 --> 00:32:52,220 It would appear so, now wouldn't it? 502 00:32:52,304 --> 00:32:54,014 You're right. He does deserve a beating. 503 00:32:54,097 --> 00:32:56,974 But if you beat him up tonight, I've got to get up in the morning 504 00:32:57,058 --> 00:33:00,519 and explain to the papers why the new guy on the Tour beat up Shooter McGavin. 505 00:33:00,604 --> 00:33:02,897 So you see you'd really be making more work for me. 506 00:33:02,980 --> 00:33:04,524 I wouldn't want to do that. 507 00:33:04,608 --> 00:33:07,861 Listen, don't worry about Shooter. He's just threatened by you. 508 00:33:07,944 --> 00:33:10,488 He's worried you're gonna steal some of his thunder. 509 00:33:10,572 --> 00:33:12,407 That's nice of you to say. 510 00:33:14,576 --> 00:33:18,162 So, all right, I'm gonna go change now. Okay. 511 00:33:19,748 --> 00:33:23,668 Hey, my girlfriend's dead, you know. She fell off a cliff and died on impact. 512 00:33:23,752 --> 00:33:26,713 - Really? I'm sorry to hear that. - Yeah. 513 00:33:28,256 --> 00:33:31,092 You know, you should get some sleep, Gilmore. 514 00:33:31,176 --> 00:33:32,677 Tomorrow's a big day. 515 00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:34,262 You're right. It is. 516 00:33:45,982 --> 00:33:48,859 Hello, everybody. I'm Verne Lundquist along with Jack Beard. 517 00:33:48,944 --> 00:33:53,281 Looks like we're going to have a nice crowd here on this sun-sational April morning 518 00:33:53,365 --> 00:33:55,950 for the 22nd annual AT&T Invitational. 519 00:33:56,326 --> 00:33:59,579 <i>The field includes a group of elite golfers from around the world.</i> 520 00:33:59,663 --> 00:34:03,625 <i>The favorite has to be Shooter McGavin. He's won three of the last four.</i> 521 00:34:07,879 --> 00:34:09,130 Thanks, man. 522 00:34:09,923 --> 00:34:11,549 Hey, here's my last buck. 523 00:34:11,633 --> 00:34:13,468 This is the last time I'm gonna tell you. 524 00:34:13,552 --> 00:34:17,389 Come on, he's just trying to make some money. Leave him alone. 525 00:34:19,516 --> 00:34:22,310 I don't know what it is about this big winning streak I'm on. 526 00:34:22,394 --> 00:34:25,063 I'm in the zone. What can I say? The hole just seems to get bigger. 527 00:34:25,146 --> 00:34:26,730 How does it feel to be the favorite? 528 00:34:26,815 --> 00:34:28,233 I certainly don't think I'm the favorite. 529 00:34:28,316 --> 00:34:30,526 With all great players here today, it's really anyone's tournament. 530 00:34:30,610 --> 00:34:32,194 I'm just trying to do the best I can out there. 531 00:34:32,279 --> 00:34:34,114 I tell you, the real winner today's the city of Portland. 532 00:34:34,197 --> 00:34:36,157 Every time I come here, it gets harder to leave. 533 00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:38,034 I think you guys put something in the water. 534 00:34:38,118 --> 00:34:39,744 Excuse me, I gotta go play a little golf. 535 00:34:39,828 --> 00:34:40,954 - Good luck. - Thanks. 536 00:34:41,997 --> 00:34:44,874 Hi, I'm a hockey player, but I'm playing golf today. 537 00:34:45,166 --> 00:34:47,084 - Name? - Happy Gilmore. 538 00:34:47,586 --> 00:34:49,546 Oh, the guy with the long drive. 539 00:34:49,670 --> 00:34:52,882 - What's your caddy's name? - You guys haven't given me one yet. 540 00:34:52,966 --> 00:34:55,510 On the Pro Tour, you provide your own caddy. 541 00:34:55,677 --> 00:34:56,803 Really? 542 00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:00,014 All right. 543 00:35:02,350 --> 00:35:05,519 Hey, easy with those clubs, all right? They're antiques. 544 00:35:07,397 --> 00:35:10,233 Gary Potter. Great to have you on the Tour, Happy. 545 00:35:10,442 --> 00:35:12,402 I feel a lot of solid energy coming out of you. 546 00:35:12,485 --> 00:35:15,321 Good positive aura. Great, great, it's all great. 547 00:35:15,405 --> 00:35:17,323 Yeah, yeah. Nice to meet you, man. 548 00:35:17,407 --> 00:35:20,743 Is it always like this, with the TV cameras, and the people, and stuff? 549 00:35:20,827 --> 00:35:23,287 Yeah, a lot of pressure. You gotta rise above it. 550 00:35:23,370 --> 00:35:26,582 You gotta harness in the good energy, block out the bad. 551 00:35:26,708 --> 00:35:29,127 Harness energy, block bad. 552 00:35:29,210 --> 00:35:32,171 Feel the flow, Happy. Feel it. It's circular. 553 00:35:32,255 --> 00:35:34,799 It's like a carousel. You pay the quarter, you get on the horse. 554 00:35:34,883 --> 00:35:36,926 It goes up and down and around. 555 00:35:37,010 --> 00:35:40,346 Circular. Circle. With the music, the flow. 556 00:35:40,472 --> 00:35:41,806 All good things. 557 00:35:41,890 --> 00:35:45,476 Yeah, all right. Well, great. Thanks a lot. Nice to meet you, man. 558 00:35:45,894 --> 00:35:47,061 Psycho. 559 00:35:47,812 --> 00:35:50,397 Next to tee off, Happy Gilmore. 560 00:35:51,775 --> 00:35:53,526 All right, give me a club. 561 00:35:55,403 --> 00:35:56,570 I'll get it. 562 00:36:21,470 --> 00:36:22,638 Sorry. 563 00:36:27,686 --> 00:36:28,687 Psycho. 564 00:36:45,203 --> 00:36:47,872 What a shot by Happy Gilmore! 565 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,416 - Who the hell is Happy Gilmore? - I don't know. 566 00:37:12,313 --> 00:37:13,772 Oh, yeah! 567 00:37:18,653 --> 00:37:19,987 You like that, baby? 568 00:37:20,070 --> 00:37:22,573 <i>Plenty more where that came from! Yeah!</i> 569 00:37:24,659 --> 00:37:27,161 Get Virginia Venit in here, immediately. 570 00:37:27,370 --> 00:37:28,788 I think you should use a five iron. 571 00:37:28,872 --> 00:37:31,165 You think so? Give me my wedge. 572 00:37:45,138 --> 00:37:48,599 Five iron, huh? Well, you're fired. Bye-bye. 573 00:38:02,739 --> 00:38:05,575 What are you doing, Happy, riding a bull? 574 00:38:05,658 --> 00:38:07,785 You're acting like a damn fool! 575 00:38:13,540 --> 00:38:17,670 Doing the bull dance. Feeling the flow. Working it. Working it. 576 00:38:17,754 --> 00:38:19,005 <i>-On the 18th green</i> 577 00:38:19,088 --> 00:38:21,006 <i>Shooter McGavin is putting for the win.</i> 578 00:38:21,090 --> 00:38:25,427 Maybe it's just me, but his crowd seems unusually small for this type of moment. 579 00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:32,768 <i>I think most people have found their way</i> 580 00:38:32,852 --> 00:38:34,395 <i>over to Happy Gilmore.</i> 581 00:38:34,479 --> 00:38:37,231 He's been the talk of the course today, with his huge drives 582 00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:39,483 and his amazingly bizarre behavior. 583 00:38:39,818 --> 00:38:44,318 <i>He's on the 17th green right now, having a little trouble closing out his day.</i> 584 00:38:44,530 --> 00:38:47,492 Happy, the ball itself has its own energy 585 00:38:47,867 --> 00:38:49,201 or life force, if you will. 586 00:38:49,285 --> 00:38:51,787 Its natural environment is in the hole. 587 00:38:52,539 --> 00:38:54,582 So why don't you send him home? 588 00:38:55,166 --> 00:38:58,043 His bags are packed. He's got his airplane tickets. 589 00:38:58,169 --> 00:38:59,920 Bring him to the airport. 590 00:39:00,630 --> 00:39:01,881 Send him home. 591 00:39:02,130 --> 00:39:03,924 Yeah. Send him home. 592 00:39:04,259 --> 00:39:05,843 I'll just send him home. 593 00:39:05,927 --> 00:39:08,346 It's time to go home there, ball. 594 00:39:12,058 --> 00:39:13,684 You son of a bitch, ball! 595 00:39:13,768 --> 00:39:16,979 Why didn't you just go home? That's your home! 596 00:39:17,063 --> 00:39:20,024 Are you too good for your home? Answer me! 597 00:39:20,316 --> 00:39:22,735 Suck my white ass, ball! 598 00:39:24,570 --> 00:39:26,281 - Hey! - Hey, look out! 599 00:39:28,533 --> 00:39:31,035 Virginia, put out a press release concerning 600 00:39:31,119 --> 00:39:32,870 Happy Gilmore being thrown off the Tour. 601 00:39:32,954 --> 00:39:34,622 I want to see a draft by 6:00 p.m. 602 00:39:34,706 --> 00:39:36,874 You're right. He was out of line. 603 00:39:36,958 --> 00:39:39,293 His behavior is completely unacceptable. 604 00:39:39,586 --> 00:39:43,131 But, you know, golf has been waiting for a player like this. 605 00:39:43,256 --> 00:39:45,925 A colorful, emotional, working-class hero. 606 00:39:46,009 --> 00:39:49,387 I will not tolerate behavior like this. Gilmore is gone. 607 00:39:49,470 --> 00:39:51,221 I just got a call from the Dallas Open. 608 00:39:51,306 --> 00:39:55,393 Their phones have been ringing off the hook with people who want to see Happy. 609 00:39:55,476 --> 00:39:57,352 - They just sold out. - Already? 610 00:39:57,437 --> 00:40:00,773 I know, he's a little rough around the edges, but let me work with him. 611 00:40:03,318 --> 00:40:04,319 Okay. 612 00:40:04,652 --> 00:40:07,154 Fine. But he's your responsibility. 613 00:40:07,238 --> 00:40:09,448 If he cleans up his act, he can stay. 614 00:40:09,532 --> 00:40:11,825 If he doesn't, it's your ass. 615 00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:13,828 And any more of this 616 00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:18,582 and he's gone. 617 00:40:26,758 --> 00:40:28,634 - Shooter! - Shooter! 618 00:40:28,718 --> 00:40:30,594 What do you think of Happy Gilmore? 619 00:40:30,678 --> 00:40:33,889 I didn't get a chance to see him play. I was too busy winning. 620 00:40:33,973 --> 00:40:36,600 You gotta admit, though, it's a hell of a drive. 450 yards, huh? 621 00:40:36,684 --> 00:40:38,852 Yeah, how did he finish, again? Dead last? 622 00:40:39,187 --> 00:40:41,147 Yeah, yeah. He had a good day though. Thanks. 623 00:40:41,230 --> 00:40:43,565 Is it true that he made a 450-yard hole in one? 624 00:40:43,690 --> 00:40:46,235 Hey, where's my check? We'll be mailing them out next week, sir. 625 00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:49,447 - No, no, I want mine now. - I don't have any checks to give. 626 00:40:49,530 --> 00:40:53,200 Well, that guy got one, right? Give me one of them big ones, I don't care. 627 00:40:55,244 --> 00:40:57,955 - Hiya, pal. How about a beer? - Hey, put that on my tab. 628 00:40:58,373 --> 00:41:00,333 That was quite a show you put on today, Gilmore. 629 00:41:00,458 --> 00:41:02,835 - You were the talk of the tournament. - Wow, thanks a lot. 630 00:41:02,919 --> 00:41:05,546 Yeah. You really crushed that ball off the tee, I'll tell you what. 631 00:41:05,630 --> 00:41:07,965 You know, you'd be something in one of those long-drive contests. 632 00:41:08,049 --> 00:41:11,552 You can probably get a very good living, traveling around, hustling at driving ranges. 633 00:41:11,636 --> 00:41:13,220 - Thanks, Phil. - That's, that's, that's... 634 00:41:13,304 --> 00:41:16,724 You know, I know what you're doing right now, and I don't like it. 635 00:41:16,808 --> 00:41:20,394 So why don't you just shut your trap before I put my foot in it. 636 00:41:21,896 --> 00:41:23,814 Don't turn your back on me. 637 00:41:23,898 --> 00:41:26,317 Let's get one thing straight, this is Shooter's tour. 638 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,779 I've worked hard my whole life, paid my dues, and now, it's Shooter's turn. 639 00:41:29,862 --> 00:41:33,156 And Shooter's not about to let his reign at the top be spoiled by some freak 640 00:41:33,240 --> 00:41:34,492 sideshow clown. 641 00:41:34,575 --> 00:41:36,243 Did you just call me a freak? 642 00:41:36,619 --> 00:41:39,163 I was on this tour for one reason, money. 643 00:41:39,247 --> 00:41:41,874 But now I got a new reason, kicking your ass. 644 00:41:41,958 --> 00:41:44,460 Well, I'd like to see you try. 645 00:41:45,086 --> 00:41:46,587 Let's do it. 646 00:41:47,422 --> 00:41:48,881 I meant on a golf course. 647 00:41:48,965 --> 00:41:51,008 Hey. Hey, what is going on here, huh? 648 00:41:51,092 --> 00:41:54,011 I was just looking for the other half of this bottle. 649 00:41:54,095 --> 00:41:57,223 And... Oh, there's some of it. There's some, right there, too. 650 00:41:57,348 --> 00:41:59,767 - Why don't you just put it down? - Yeah, I know. 651 00:42:00,518 --> 00:42:04,897 Just stay out of my way, or you'll pay. Listen to what I say. 652 00:42:05,064 --> 00:42:07,024 How about I just go eat some hay? 653 00:42:07,108 --> 00:42:10,027 I could make things out of clay and lay by the bay. 654 00:42:10,110 --> 00:42:12,029 I just may. What do you say? 655 00:42:17,368 --> 00:42:20,037 You better calm down or you're gonna get kicked off this Tour. 656 00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:21,372 That can't happen. 657 00:42:21,456 --> 00:42:23,541 Yes, it can happen, and I don't want it to happen. 658 00:42:23,624 --> 00:42:25,417 You could be a big star on the Tour. 659 00:42:25,500 --> 00:42:27,544 I don't wanna be a big star, I wanna make some money. 660 00:42:27,628 --> 00:42:29,880 You're not going to be around long enough to make money 661 00:42:29,964 --> 00:42:31,173 unless you start behaving. 662 00:42:31,257 --> 00:42:33,425 All right, take it easy. What do you mean by "behaving"? 663 00:42:33,509 --> 00:42:35,802 I mean, no swearing, no throwing clubs 664 00:42:35,887 --> 00:42:38,723 and especially no hitting other players. 665 00:42:38,806 --> 00:42:40,974 - Oh, good, you mean no fun. - No, no, no. 666 00:42:41,059 --> 00:42:42,643 No, you can have fun. 667 00:42:42,727 --> 00:42:45,396 And that's why I think people are gonna come to see you. 668 00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:47,773 But you've got to keep it within reason. 669 00:42:48,566 --> 00:42:51,694 All right, I will work on what you call "behaving." 670 00:42:51,778 --> 00:42:53,780 But I ain't gonna act like a stiff out there. 671 00:42:53,863 --> 00:42:55,531 Fine. Thank you. 672 00:42:59,202 --> 00:43:01,454 What are doing now? You wanna get some food? 673 00:43:01,537 --> 00:43:04,164 No thanks. I don't date golfers. 674 00:43:04,248 --> 00:43:06,458 Good, 'cause I'm a hockey player. 675 00:43:08,836 --> 00:43:10,879 Just behave, okay? 676 00:43:13,674 --> 00:43:16,176 <i>Happy Gilmore makes his way to the tee</i> 677 00:43:16,260 --> 00:43:18,011 <i>in the 72nd annual Cleveland Classic.</i> 678 00:43:18,638 --> 00:43:21,682 Hey, Happy Gilmore! Drive it 400 yards! 679 00:43:21,766 --> 00:43:24,435 Oh, my God. I mean, I can't believe I have fans. 680 00:43:24,519 --> 00:43:26,437 I've been waiting my whole life for this. 681 00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:27,522 Uh-oh. 682 00:43:27,688 --> 00:43:29,523 Don't be alarmed, Mr. Gilmore. 683 00:43:29,607 --> 00:43:32,776 I know we had our problems, but I'm truly proud of you. 684 00:43:33,152 --> 00:43:35,612 Hey, thanks a lot, Mr. Larson. 685 00:43:35,696 --> 00:43:37,030 It's good to see you again. 686 00:43:37,115 --> 00:43:39,784 How's that thing feeling? 687 00:43:40,118 --> 00:43:42,620 Terrific. The nail comes out next week. 688 00:43:42,703 --> 00:43:44,871 Well, you can hardly even notice it. 689 00:43:49,210 --> 00:43:51,128 Let's make a little noise here, huh? 690 00:43:53,214 --> 00:43:55,382 Come on! I can't hear you! 691 00:44:22,243 --> 00:44:24,286 Trying to reach the green from here, Shooter? 692 00:44:24,370 --> 00:44:26,080 That's not possible, sir. 693 00:44:26,247 --> 00:44:27,623 I beg to differ. 694 00:44:27,832 --> 00:44:31,460 Happy Gilmore accomplished that feat no more than an hour ago. 695 00:44:31,627 --> 00:44:35,213 Well, moron, good for Happy Gilmore... Oh, my God! 696 00:44:45,933 --> 00:44:47,142 Oh, my God. 697 00:44:53,940 --> 00:44:55,025 Come on. 698 00:44:55,109 --> 00:44:57,945 Hey, Shooter, haven't you forgotten your nine iron? 699 00:45:02,575 --> 00:45:07,075 Quite a large and economically diverse crowd here at the Michelob Invitational. 700 00:45:07,205 --> 00:45:10,166 <i>I guess it's the new tour sensation, Happy Gilmore,</i> 701 00:45:10,249 --> 00:45:13,418 <i>who's attracting all sorts of people to this beautiful course.</i> 702 00:45:13,502 --> 00:45:16,087 Jack, I think I even saw one guy wearing one of those 703 00:45:16,172 --> 00:45:18,465 beer-dispensing plastic helmets. 704 00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:30,519 Damn you people. Go back to your shanties. 705 00:45:31,395 --> 00:45:35,232 This is a biggie, pal. Time's ticking away. I got to make some real money. 706 00:45:35,316 --> 00:45:37,901 What do you think? Slightly downhill? 707 00:45:37,985 --> 00:45:39,236 And slanting left. 708 00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:42,531 No, no, it just seems that way 'cause you only got one shoe on. 709 00:45:44,075 --> 00:45:45,242 Oh, yeah. 710 00:46:31,706 --> 00:46:33,124 You got the ball? 711 00:46:42,466 --> 00:46:44,426 <i>Happy Gilmore from nine feet.</i> 712 00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:46,678 <i>Here comes the putter throw.</i> 713 00:46:46,887 --> 00:46:51,308 <i>Wait. He's restrained himself. Maybe this is a new Happy Gilmore.</i> 714 00:46:52,143 --> 00:46:53,936 - Very good. - Yeah. 715 00:46:56,063 --> 00:46:59,441 <i>Another tournament in Dallas, and another Shooter McGavin victory.</i> 716 00:46:59,525 --> 00:47:01,902 <i>He's now won here three years in a row.</i> 717 00:47:15,207 --> 00:47:16,958 That son of a bitch! 718 00:47:17,752 --> 00:47:21,964 Give me my ball! Give it here! Cough it up, you dirty bastard! 719 00:47:22,048 --> 00:47:25,051 I swear to God, I'll rip it out of you! Give me the... 720 00:47:25,509 --> 00:47:27,344 Give me the ball, alligator. 721 00:47:31,766 --> 00:47:33,476 You've got one eye. 722 00:47:35,060 --> 00:47:36,270 Chubbs. 723 00:47:37,020 --> 00:47:38,480 You took his hand. 724 00:48:20,815 --> 00:48:22,983 That Happy Gilmore, he's a real crack-up, isn't he? 725 00:48:23,067 --> 00:48:24,568 - Yeah. - I mean, he's a hoot! 726 00:48:24,652 --> 00:48:27,571 - Well, he's bringing in some big crowds. - Yeah. 727 00:48:27,655 --> 00:48:30,532 You know, what was great today, one of his fans mooned me 728 00:48:30,616 --> 00:48:32,200 and had "Happy" written on his ass. 729 00:48:32,284 --> 00:48:35,370 "Ha" on the one cheek, and then, sure enough, "P-P-Y" right there on the other. 730 00:48:35,454 --> 00:48:37,706 I think it's great what he's doing for the sport. 731 00:48:37,790 --> 00:48:40,000 Well, yeah, I'm beginning to come around. 732 00:48:40,084 --> 00:48:41,960 Yeah, everyone seems to be coming around. 733 00:48:42,044 --> 00:48:43,587 Well, I'm not, Doug! 734 00:48:43,670 --> 00:48:45,464 This man is destroying golf. 735 00:48:45,548 --> 00:48:48,926 I saw two big, fat, naked bikers, in the woods off 17, having sex. 736 00:48:49,009 --> 00:48:51,219 How am I supposed to chip with that going on, Doug? 737 00:48:51,345 --> 00:48:54,431 You've got to kick him off the Tour. He's not breaking any rules. 738 00:48:54,515 --> 00:48:57,267 And until he does... But he's a disgrace to the game! 739 00:48:57,350 --> 00:48:59,728 You may be right, but our ratings are up 740 00:48:59,812 --> 00:49:02,189 and we're attracting new, youthful sponsors. 741 00:49:02,523 --> 00:49:03,982 I'm sorry, Shooter. 742 00:49:04,233 --> 00:49:06,026 There's nothing I can do. 743 00:49:09,405 --> 00:49:12,324 Well, I guess I'll have to take care of this myself. 744 00:49:13,284 --> 00:49:16,996 Grandma, I came in ninth place. I won $35,000. 745 00:49:17,079 --> 00:49:18,914 So we'll get the house back? 746 00:49:18,998 --> 00:49:22,042 As long as I don't come in last place in the next two tournaments, 747 00:49:22,293 --> 00:49:23,794 <i>we'll get the money in time.</i> 748 00:49:23,878 --> 00:49:25,838 That's wonderful, Happy. 749 00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:27,672 I love you, Grandma. Bye. 750 00:49:27,756 --> 00:49:29,257 Goodbye, darling. 751 00:49:34,180 --> 00:49:35,472 Hey, Virginia. 752 00:49:35,556 --> 00:49:38,058 You know we should go on that date. I have been pretty good lately. 753 00:49:38,142 --> 00:49:39,935 Oh, really? What is this I hear about you 754 00:49:40,019 --> 00:49:41,770 breaking a rake and throwing it into the woods? 755 00:49:41,854 --> 00:49:45,607 What? I didn't break it. I was just testing its durability. 756 00:49:45,690 --> 00:49:48,652 And then I placed it in the woods because it's made of wood 757 00:49:48,736 --> 00:49:51,071 and I just thought he should be with his family. 758 00:49:52,156 --> 00:49:54,199 At least I didn't punch anybody. 759 00:49:54,992 --> 00:49:58,829 All right. Okay, we'll go on a date. But just as friends, all right? 760 00:49:59,288 --> 00:50:02,666 Yeah, just as friends. Slow down. I don't want to be more than friends. 761 00:50:02,750 --> 00:50:04,334 I just met you. 762 00:50:08,464 --> 00:50:09,798 They fit you okay? 763 00:50:09,882 --> 00:50:12,843 Yeah, I haven't skated since I was a little kid so... 764 00:50:15,513 --> 00:50:18,349 Hey, pal, can we get a little time here? 765 00:50:19,517 --> 00:50:23,020 - For Happy Gilmore, anything. - Thanks. 766 00:50:25,856 --> 00:50:28,525 - You used to play ice hockey? - Shut up. 767 00:50:31,028 --> 00:50:32,863 Oh, my God, power failure. 768 00:50:33,197 --> 00:50:35,199 It's getting very scary in here. 769 00:50:35,490 --> 00:50:37,576 - Did you set this up? - No. 770 00:50:42,580 --> 00:50:45,292 I thought we were gonna be just friends. 771 00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:49,463 What? Friends listen to <i>Endless Love</i> in the dark. 772 00:51:03,644 --> 00:51:07,022 This song reminds me of seventh grade. 773 00:51:07,606 --> 00:51:10,025 This song reminds me of my grandmother. 774 00:51:10,317 --> 00:51:11,651 That's kind of weird. 775 00:51:11,735 --> 00:51:13,778 She took me to see this movie. 776 00:51:13,862 --> 00:51:16,114 I, like, got the biggest crush on Brooke Shields. 777 00:51:16,198 --> 00:51:17,782 - Really? - Yeah. 778 00:51:17,992 --> 00:51:21,996 And my grandma told me I should write her a letter, you know, so I did. 779 00:51:22,329 --> 00:51:25,165 And I got a letter back from Brooke like two weeks later 780 00:51:25,332 --> 00:51:28,001 but it was in my grandmother's handwriting. 781 00:51:29,003 --> 00:51:30,838 Your grandma sounds sweet. 782 00:51:30,963 --> 00:51:34,174 She is sweet. That's why I feel so terrible. 783 00:51:34,883 --> 00:51:35,967 Why? 784 00:51:37,344 --> 00:51:39,012 No, no, forget it. 785 00:51:39,972 --> 00:51:42,474 No, no, no. It's okay, you can tell me. 786 00:51:43,183 --> 00:51:45,518 It's just she's stuck in a damn nursing home. 787 00:51:45,603 --> 00:51:47,688 The IRS repossessed her house. 788 00:51:48,355 --> 00:51:49,689 That's awful. 789 00:51:49,940 --> 00:51:51,566 That's why I joined the Tour 790 00:51:51,650 --> 00:51:53,985 and I'm pretty close to getting her house back but... 791 00:51:54,069 --> 00:51:57,197 Look, don't tell anybody about this, I'm kind of embarrassed. 792 00:51:58,240 --> 00:52:00,659 Don't worry. I won't tell anybody. 793 00:52:01,994 --> 00:52:04,371 Hey, I'll make you a bet. 794 00:52:05,580 --> 00:52:08,375 - Do you always carry a puck around? - Yeah. 795 00:52:10,169 --> 00:52:14,173 All right, now, if you get that puck in that net over there, 796 00:52:14,423 --> 00:52:17,342 I'll never bother you again. 797 00:52:18,010 --> 00:52:20,804 But if you miss 798 00:52:21,388 --> 00:52:23,890 you gotta give me a big, fat kiss. 799 00:52:24,516 --> 00:52:26,809 And you got to pretend that you like it, too. 800 00:52:26,935 --> 00:52:28,102 Really? 801 00:52:28,479 --> 00:52:29,563 Good luck. 802 00:52:42,785 --> 00:52:44,119 Holy shit. 803 00:52:44,995 --> 00:52:47,539 Talk about your all-time backfires. 804 00:52:49,083 --> 00:52:50,209 Happy. 805 00:52:53,420 --> 00:52:55,171 I didn't see it go in. 806 00:53:37,339 --> 00:53:39,341 <i>Welcome to soggy San Francisco,</i> 807 00:53:39,425 --> 00:53:42,094 <i>the site of this year's Pepsi Pro-Am.</i> 808 00:53:42,803 --> 00:53:45,263 How you doing Happy? I'm Bob Barker. 809 00:53:45,347 --> 00:53:47,557 Wow, what an honor. Nice to meet you. 810 00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:50,477 Looks like you and I are gonna be playing together today. 811 00:53:51,060 --> 00:53:53,605 That's funny. Who am I really playing with? 812 00:53:53,689 --> 00:53:55,023 This is a Pro-Am, Happy. 813 00:53:55,107 --> 00:53:57,526 Each golfer is playing with a celebrity. Wow. 814 00:53:57,650 --> 00:54:00,195 You know, Nick Faldo and I won this thing last year 815 00:54:00,279 --> 00:54:02,239 and I'd like to win it again this year. 816 00:54:02,322 --> 00:54:04,157 All right, I'll do my best. 817 00:54:04,908 --> 00:54:06,367 Hey, Gilmore? 818 00:54:06,744 --> 00:54:09,246 You suck, you jackass. 819 00:54:09,496 --> 00:54:11,164 Why don't you shut the hell up? 820 00:54:13,167 --> 00:54:15,252 I'd love to punch that guy in the face right now 821 00:54:15,335 --> 00:54:17,337 but I can't, you know, because I'd get in trouble. 822 00:54:17,420 --> 00:54:19,464 I bet you got a lot of that on <i>Let's Make A Deal.</i> 823 00:54:19,548 --> 00:54:21,675 It's <i>The Price Is Right</i>, Happy. 824 00:54:21,842 --> 00:54:23,009 Oh, yeah. Sorry. 825 00:54:23,050 --> 00:54:25,511 - It happens. Let's play some golf. - Okay. 826 00:54:31,018 --> 00:54:32,352 Jackass. 827 00:54:36,106 --> 00:54:38,358 The club went further than the ball. 828 00:54:39,568 --> 00:54:41,486 What the hell was that all about? 829 00:54:41,570 --> 00:54:45,073 It's just that, you know, it's rainy, and that guy, and it just... 830 00:54:45,157 --> 00:54:46,741 It just slipped. 831 00:54:53,373 --> 00:54:56,084 You're gonna need a blanket and suntan lotion 832 00:54:56,168 --> 00:54:58,461 'cause you're never gonna get off that beach! 833 00:54:58,545 --> 00:55:02,257 Just the way you never got into the NHL, you jackass! 834 00:55:09,515 --> 00:55:11,725 The green's that way. You're... 835 00:55:18,774 --> 00:55:21,610 You will not make this putt, you jackass. 836 00:55:27,574 --> 00:55:29,450 Nice shooting, soldier. 837 00:55:33,539 --> 00:55:35,582 All right, Happy, 838 00:55:36,083 --> 00:55:37,667 nice and easy. 839 00:55:43,257 --> 00:55:45,592 That was not nice and easy. 840 00:55:50,138 --> 00:55:52,098 That guy's driving me crazy. 841 00:55:52,432 --> 00:55:56,310 You know what's driving me crazy? You not getting the ball in the hole. 842 00:55:56,603 --> 00:55:59,230 Don't push me, Bob. Now's not the time. 843 00:56:04,110 --> 00:56:05,403 Jackass. 844 00:56:10,284 --> 00:56:11,743 This guy sucks. 845 00:56:13,245 --> 00:56:17,415 We haven't seen Happy Gilmore play this badly since his first day on Tour. 846 00:56:17,624 --> 00:56:20,668 <i>He and Bob Barker are now dead last.</i> 847 00:56:21,086 --> 00:56:23,129 I can't believe you're a professional golfer. 848 00:56:23,213 --> 00:56:25,506 I think you should be working at the snack bar. 849 00:56:25,590 --> 00:56:27,050 You better relax, Bob. 850 00:56:27,134 --> 00:56:31,634 There is no way that you could have been as bad at hockey as you are at golf. 851 00:56:31,847 --> 00:56:33,265 All right, let's go. 852 00:56:35,058 --> 00:56:38,019 You like that, old man? You want a piece of me? 853 00:56:38,812 --> 00:56:42,106 I don't want a piece of you. I want the whole thing! 854 00:56:57,205 --> 00:56:59,498 Now you're gonna get it, Bobby! 855 00:57:18,477 --> 00:57:19,603 Happy! 856 00:57:19,686 --> 00:57:21,771 The price is wrong, bitch. 857 00:57:32,950 --> 00:57:34,743 I think you've had enough. 858 00:57:35,953 --> 00:57:37,120 No? 859 00:57:39,498 --> 00:57:41,166 Now you've had enough. 860 00:57:42,125 --> 00:57:43,334 Bitch. 861 00:57:46,296 --> 00:57:47,964 Wow, that couldn't have gone any better. 862 00:57:48,048 --> 00:57:50,383 - Instead of hitting you, he hits Bob Barker. - Yeah. 863 00:57:51,093 --> 00:57:52,135 Perfect. 864 00:57:52,219 --> 00:57:54,512 We're good, huh? So, I'll see you at the next tournament, right? 865 00:57:54,596 --> 00:57:58,600 Oh, no, that won't be necessary. This was on national TV. Gilmore's gone. 866 00:57:58,850 --> 00:58:02,728 Well, look, let's get something to eat. There's a Red Lobster nearby. My treat. 867 00:58:02,813 --> 00:58:04,231 Maybe some other time. 868 00:58:04,314 --> 00:58:06,691 Shooter, I thought we were gonna be friends. 869 00:58:06,775 --> 00:58:09,277 Oh, we're friends, we are. I just got to go. 870 00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:13,198 Okay, well, I'll be at the Red Lobster in case you change your mind, Shooter. 871 00:58:13,657 --> 00:58:14,824 God bless! 872 00:58:15,742 --> 00:58:16,993 There you are. 873 00:58:17,077 --> 00:58:19,496 Hey, Happy Gilmore, come on down! 874 00:58:19,579 --> 00:58:21,914 Thank you, Shooter. Sit down Mr. Gilmore. 875 00:58:22,790 --> 00:58:26,669 So you had a fight with a game show host on national TV. 876 00:58:26,753 --> 00:58:28,796 I don't consider that entertainment. 877 00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:32,091 This is not hockey, Mr. Gilmore, no matter how much you want it to be. 878 00:58:32,175 --> 00:58:35,720 I know that and I'm sorry, okay, but it wasn't my fault. 879 00:58:35,804 --> 00:58:37,806 There was some guy out there giving me crap 880 00:58:37,889 --> 00:58:40,308 and it took every ounce of my energy not to hit him. 881 00:58:40,392 --> 00:58:43,186 So you decided to headbutt Bob Barker. 882 00:58:43,270 --> 00:58:45,730 - Who won that fight, anyway? - That's enough, Shooter. 883 00:58:45,814 --> 00:58:47,899 The board is taking the following action. 884 00:58:47,983 --> 00:58:50,902 You'll be fined $25,000 and suspended for one month. 885 00:58:50,986 --> 00:58:52,696 - Suspended! I got to play! - Suspended! 886 00:58:52,779 --> 00:58:54,655 Doug, kick him off the Tour. 887 00:58:54,780 --> 00:58:57,575 Well, the board thinks that that might be extreme 888 00:58:57,659 --> 00:59:00,995 considering the fact that our ratings were the 889 00:59:01,747 --> 00:59:03,540 highest that we've ever had. 890 00:59:03,623 --> 00:59:06,375 Doug, look, my grandmother's house got repossessed. 891 00:59:06,460 --> 00:59:08,712 If I can't make some prize money in the next tournament 892 00:59:08,795 --> 00:59:10,797 they could sell it to somebody else. 893 00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:12,799 Well, whoop-de-doo. Get out. 894 00:59:18,472 --> 00:59:20,724 I don't wanna hear it. It's over. 895 00:59:20,807 --> 00:59:23,309 My grandmother's never gonna see her house again. 896 00:59:23,393 --> 00:59:27,647 Yeah, but you've made a lot of money. You could get her a really nice condo. 897 00:59:27,730 --> 00:59:31,067 My grandfather didn't build any condos with his bare hands. 898 00:59:31,150 --> 00:59:34,404 God damn it, I hate that Bob Barker. 899 00:59:34,488 --> 00:59:37,741 Okay, there has got be another way to get the $50,000. 900 00:59:37,824 --> 00:59:40,243 I don't even want to talk about it anymore, all right? 901 00:59:40,327 --> 00:59:41,911 I failed, okay? 902 00:59:42,162 --> 00:59:45,790 Let me just sit here and enjoy the one thing that makes me a little bit happy, 903 00:59:45,874 --> 00:59:48,835 this fresh, delicious, tasty, 904 00:59:49,002 --> 00:59:51,212 meaty, turkey-filled... 905 00:59:51,338 --> 00:59:55,838 Cold Cut Combo. I eat three every day to help keep me strong. 906 00:59:56,426 --> 00:59:59,220 <i>Hey, Happy, can I have one of those?</i> 907 00:59:59,846 --> 01:00:01,514 <i>Coming right up!</i> 908 01:00:07,145 --> 01:00:09,605 <i>Talk about a hole in one.</i> 909 01:00:09,856 --> 01:00:12,859 <i>Subway sandwiches will drive away your hunger.</i> 910 01:00:13,860 --> 01:00:15,862 - What do you think, Grandma Gilmore? - I love it. 911 01:00:15,946 --> 01:00:18,782 And he looks so handsome. And it makes me hungry. 912 01:00:18,865 --> 01:00:22,785 Oh, really? Well, they gave me this card. It gives us free Subway for life. 913 01:00:22,869 --> 01:00:24,245 That's lovely, dear. 914 01:00:24,329 --> 01:00:26,331 Lovely. You know what else is lovely? 915 01:00:26,414 --> 01:00:29,750 That commercial put us up to $275,000. 916 01:00:30,168 --> 01:00:32,795 - Let's go get your house back. - Oh, Happy. 917 01:00:41,930 --> 01:00:43,473 What the hell? 918 01:00:47,185 --> 01:00:48,227 Hey! 919 01:00:48,728 --> 01:00:52,398 - What's going on here? - I'm glad you made it. This is very exciting. 920 01:00:52,482 --> 01:00:54,484 We're gonna auction off your grandmother's house. 921 01:00:54,568 --> 01:00:58,029 Hey, hold it. You said if we got the money by today, we could buy the house back. 922 01:00:58,113 --> 01:00:59,906 Right, you can buy the house back. 923 01:00:59,990 --> 01:01:02,909 Bidding will start at $100,000. 100, do I hear the 100? 924 01:01:02,993 --> 01:01:05,370 This is the exciting part. Have fun. 925 01:01:06,746 --> 01:01:10,082 Look at all these people. What's going on, Happy? 926 01:01:10,167 --> 01:01:12,085 175, thank you, and a two. Two now. 927 01:01:12,169 --> 01:01:13,920 Oh, my God. They're auctioning off the house. 928 01:01:14,004 --> 01:01:15,130 No, no, no, this could be good. 929 01:01:15,213 --> 01:01:17,298 We'll get the house back cheaper than we thought. 930 01:01:17,382 --> 01:01:19,592 250 and 225, thank you. 50, I have. 931 01:01:20,050 --> 01:01:22,094 Maybe not. 275! 932 01:01:22,345 --> 01:01:24,722 And 275, new bidder in the middle. And a three. Three, now. 933 01:01:24,806 --> 01:01:27,266 350! 350 down front, and a 375. 934 01:01:27,350 --> 01:01:30,269 I have 350 down front, and a 75.75, anywhere? 935 01:01:30,353 --> 01:01:33,981 At $350,000 down front, sold to the gentleman with the white sweater. 936 01:01:34,065 --> 01:01:35,816 What just happened, Happy? 937 01:01:37,194 --> 01:01:39,112 Go wait in the car, Grandma. 938 01:01:39,779 --> 01:01:42,782 Hey! What the hell is the matter with you? 939 01:01:43,240 --> 01:01:45,785 Well, real estate speculation is a hobby of mine. 940 01:01:46,912 --> 01:01:48,246 You lay another finger on me, 941 01:01:48,330 --> 01:01:50,999 I burn the house down and piss on the ashes. 942 01:01:51,208 --> 01:01:53,376 What do you want for it, Shooter? 943 01:01:53,500 --> 01:01:56,462 You know what I want. You off the Tour. 944 01:01:56,963 --> 01:01:59,382 Quit, and the house is yours. 945 01:01:59,716 --> 01:02:01,759 - Fine. I quit. - Oh, no, he doesn't. 946 01:02:01,843 --> 01:02:05,221 - Happy, I need to talk to you. - What? He's a jerk, but he's right. 947 01:02:05,305 --> 01:02:07,307 I don't belong in this sport. I'm a hockey player. 948 01:02:07,390 --> 01:02:10,101 - Oh, really? What team do you play for? - Easy. 949 01:02:10,185 --> 01:02:13,146 Face it, Happy. You are a golfer. 950 01:02:13,813 --> 01:02:16,398 Look, I did this so I could get Grandma's house back. 951 01:02:16,483 --> 01:02:18,485 Now I can. No regrets. 952 01:02:18,568 --> 01:02:20,236 What do you think Grandma wants more: 953 01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:23,698 to get her house back or to see her grandson succeed? 954 01:02:26,034 --> 01:02:28,411 Yeah, maybe there's a way she can have both. 955 01:02:28,495 --> 01:02:30,288 - Hey, Shooter. - Yeah. 956 01:02:30,413 --> 01:02:33,332 - Tour Championship's next week, right? - That's right. 957 01:02:33,416 --> 01:02:37,086 If I beat you, I get the house back. You beat me, I'll quit. 958 01:02:37,254 --> 01:02:39,673 You're gonna beat me? At golf? 959 01:02:42,175 --> 01:02:43,509 Oh, you're on. 960 01:02:44,260 --> 01:02:48,014 You're in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast. 961 01:02:48,098 --> 01:02:50,558 You eat pieces of shit for breakfast? 962 01:02:52,102 --> 01:02:53,144 No. 963 01:02:58,190 --> 01:03:01,277 That was great. I know you are gonna kick his ass. 964 01:03:01,610 --> 01:03:03,195 Yeah, that makes one of us. 965 01:03:03,530 --> 01:03:06,407 All right, look, take care of Grandma. I can walk from here. 966 01:03:06,533 --> 01:03:09,410 - Where are you going? - I got to learn how to play golf. 967 01:03:12,247 --> 01:03:14,374 I'm stupid, you're smart. 968 01:03:15,333 --> 01:03:17,376 I was wrong, you were right. 969 01:03:18,128 --> 01:03:20,380 You're the best, I'm the worst. 970 01:03:21,047 --> 01:03:24,675 You're very good-looking, I'm not attractive. 971 01:03:24,759 --> 01:03:28,179 All right, as long as you're willing to admit that. 972 01:03:28,930 --> 01:03:32,975 Now, are you ready to get down to business and do exactly what I tell you to do? 973 01:03:33,059 --> 01:03:34,643 Believe me, I'm ready. 974 01:03:35,812 --> 01:03:37,855 - Then let's get to work. - All right. 975 01:03:39,274 --> 01:03:41,401 I'm sorry. Here. 976 01:03:42,902 --> 01:03:44,236 Here's your pinky. 977 01:03:51,660 --> 01:03:53,621 Hey, Happy Land, just like me. 978 01:03:54,039 --> 01:03:56,750 Don't get excited, kid. I've been here before. 979 01:03:59,502 --> 01:04:03,422 This is embarrassing. I'm a professional golfer, for God's sake. 980 01:04:03,590 --> 01:04:07,135 No, it's your short game that's embarrassing. Come on, let's go. 981 01:04:21,274 --> 01:04:22,358 Okay. 982 01:04:22,442 --> 01:04:25,570 This time, just line up your putt. Don't even look at the hole. 983 01:04:26,154 --> 01:04:28,781 Aim for a spot six inches in front of the ball. 984 01:04:28,865 --> 01:04:31,033 Line up a spot six inches in front of the ball. 985 01:04:31,117 --> 01:04:33,619 - Okay. Six inches. - Yes! 986 01:04:56,100 --> 01:04:58,186 All right, this one's very tough. 987 01:05:03,190 --> 01:05:04,942 He's laughing, he's having a good time. 988 01:05:05,026 --> 01:05:07,778 Good for you. Yeah, laugh it up. Enjoy your night. 989 01:05:08,320 --> 01:05:10,156 Come on, Happy, concentrate. 990 01:05:17,247 --> 01:05:19,749 - I hate that clown. - Easy. 991 01:05:19,999 --> 01:05:23,502 If you can’t beat the clown, how you gonna beat Shooter McGavin? 992 01:05:28,883 --> 01:05:30,009 Yeah! 993 01:05:32,303 --> 01:05:34,179 You're gonna die, clown! 994 01:05:35,849 --> 01:05:38,518 You think that's funny? I don't hear you laughing now! 995 01:05:38,600 --> 01:05:40,436 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Enough, enough. 996 01:05:40,520 --> 01:05:42,104 What? I can't do it! 997 01:05:42,480 --> 01:05:43,981 Come with me, Happy. 998 01:05:44,566 --> 01:05:45,858 Come on! 999 01:05:46,317 --> 01:05:48,277 - Fuck, you stupid clown! - Come on. 1000 01:05:50,572 --> 01:05:52,532 Remember, now, this isn't hockey. 1001 01:05:52,615 --> 01:05:54,908 You don't play with raw emotion. 1002 01:05:55,452 --> 01:05:57,162 You can't putt angry. 1003 01:05:57,245 --> 01:06:00,873 You have to clear your mind of everything else, and stay focused. 1004 01:06:05,879 --> 01:06:07,922 Now how the hell am I gonna do that? 1005 01:06:08,006 --> 01:06:10,967 Think of a place that's really perfect. 1006 01:06:11,593 --> 01:06:13,636 Your own happy place. 1007 01:06:14,053 --> 01:06:17,222 Go there, and all your anger will just disappear. 1008 01:06:17,682 --> 01:06:19,016 Then, putt. 1009 01:06:19,726 --> 01:06:21,060 Happy place. 1010 01:06:21,394 --> 01:06:22,937 Happy place. 1011 01:06:23,605 --> 01:06:25,273 Your happy place. 1012 01:06:55,220 --> 01:06:57,764 - Now how do you feel? - Better. 1013 01:06:58,180 --> 01:06:59,265 Now putt. 1014 01:07:19,619 --> 01:07:21,495 - Yeah! - Yeah! 1015 01:07:21,870 --> 01:07:23,372 Your happy place. 1016 01:07:29,879 --> 01:07:32,423 You really took some giant steps out there tonight. 1017 01:07:33,633 --> 01:07:35,760 - I'm really proud of you. - Thanks. 1018 01:07:36,219 --> 01:07:37,386 So here. 1019 01:07:38,054 --> 01:07:40,473 I got something really special for you here. 1020 01:07:40,723 --> 01:07:42,641 - Wow, thanks, Chubbs. - You see that? 1021 01:07:42,725 --> 01:07:46,812 That is the same putter I used when I played. Slightly modified, of course. 1022 01:07:46,896 --> 01:07:49,398 Man, this is excellent. 1023 01:07:50,692 --> 01:07:55,192 You got the spirit of a hockey player in you, Happy, so I figured, why fight it, huh? 1024 01:07:55,655 --> 01:07:58,240 - I got something for you, too, pal. - What? 1025 01:07:58,616 --> 01:08:01,910 Yeah. I mean, I figured if it wasn't for you, none of this would have happened, right? 1026 01:08:01,995 --> 01:08:04,414 So I wanted to show my appreciation. 1027 01:08:08,376 --> 01:08:10,544 This looks nice. What is it, huh? 1028 01:08:10,628 --> 01:08:12,671 - Open it up. - Shit. 1029 01:08:13,380 --> 01:08:14,548 Oh, man. 1030 01:08:14,632 --> 01:08:17,843 Remember the gator that got your hand? I got his head. 1031 01:08:21,430 --> 01:08:22,723 Chubbs! 1032 01:08:22,807 --> 01:08:24,016 Chubbs! 1033 01:08:31,399 --> 01:08:33,526 First my dad and now Chubbs. 1034 01:08:34,444 --> 01:08:37,864 Anybody I get close to dies. If I were you, I'd run. 1035 01:08:38,072 --> 01:08:40,574 No, no, you can't blame yourself for this. 1036 01:08:41,075 --> 01:08:44,244 I guess that alligator finally finished the job, huh? 1037 01:08:44,579 --> 01:08:46,414 I'm gonna miss you, pal. 1038 01:08:54,756 --> 01:08:56,632 I don't know how the hell I'm gonna play today? 1039 01:08:56,716 --> 01:08:58,759 Look, just remember everything that he taught you. 1040 01:08:58,843 --> 01:09:00,845 Congratulations, murderer. 1041 01:09:01,387 --> 01:09:03,013 You killed a golf legend. 1042 01:09:03,097 --> 01:09:05,641 - Beat it, McGavin. - You know what I'm gonna do? 1043 01:09:05,725 --> 01:09:08,018 I'm gonna dedicate my performance at the Tour Championship 1044 01:09:08,102 --> 01:09:09,436 to Chubbs' memory. 1045 01:09:09,520 --> 01:09:11,647 To hell with that, I'm playing for Chubbs. 1046 01:09:12,106 --> 01:09:13,607 Nuh uh, I called it first. 1047 01:09:13,733 --> 01:09:17,111 Hey, hey, hey, hey. You want to beat him? Beat him on the course. 1048 01:09:17,195 --> 01:09:19,447 That's right, I'm gonna beat your ass on the course. 1049 01:09:19,530 --> 01:09:22,324 Yeah, right. And Grizzly Adams had a beard. 1050 01:09:22,659 --> 01:09:24,702 Grizzly Adams did have a beard. 1051 01:09:27,830 --> 01:09:31,041 <i>The golfers of the Tour Championship are ready to hit the links.</i> 1052 01:09:31,417 --> 01:09:35,129 There may be sixty-three professionals vying for the title of world's best, 1053 01:09:35,213 --> 01:09:38,591 but in the minds of the spectators, there are really only two. 1054 01:09:38,925 --> 01:09:40,843 Tour kingpin Shooter McGavin 1055 01:09:40,927 --> 01:09:44,263 <i>and bad boy Happy Gilmore, fresh off his recent suspension.</i> 1056 01:09:44,764 --> 01:09:47,641 <i>And wouldn't you know it? They've been paired together.</i> 1057 01:09:47,725 --> 01:09:51,395 I've got some very interesting interior design ideas for Grandma's house. 1058 01:09:51,854 --> 01:09:54,356 You know that bedroom at the top of the stairs? 1059 01:09:54,440 --> 01:09:56,108 Yeah, that was my room. 1060 01:09:56,192 --> 01:09:58,736 I think I'm turning that into my trophy room. 1061 01:10:00,029 --> 01:10:01,238 It's perfect. 1062 01:10:05,159 --> 01:10:06,285 Nice. 1063 01:10:11,499 --> 01:10:13,501 It just may not be big enough. 1064 01:10:14,544 --> 01:10:15,711 All right. 1065 01:10:29,850 --> 01:10:33,813 You know what the pathetic thing is? You've been playing golf your whole life. 1066 01:10:38,609 --> 01:10:41,111 Let me show you how we do it in the pros. 1067 01:10:48,160 --> 01:10:49,829 Jeez, that's gotta hurt. 1068 01:10:57,920 --> 01:11:00,005 Happy learned how to putt. 1069 01:11:00,339 --> 01:11:01,340 Uh-oh. 1070 01:11:03,550 --> 01:11:05,219 Here's a free lesson. 1071 01:11:11,476 --> 01:11:13,644 Can't learn that in a hockey rink. 1072 01:11:24,947 --> 01:11:27,449 Somebody's closer. 1073 01:11:29,660 --> 01:11:32,496 <i>After one day, Shooter McGavin is in the lead.</i> 1074 01:11:32,622 --> 01:11:35,791 But the big surprise is young Happy Gilmore, 1075 01:11:36,542 --> 01:11:39,253 <i>nipping at his heels and trailing by only one stroke.</i> 1076 01:11:41,297 --> 01:11:42,756 <i>Shooter from the sand.</i> 1077 01:11:42,840 --> 01:11:45,551 <i>Playing like he really wants that jacket.</i> 1078 01:11:51,516 --> 01:11:54,810 <i>Happy Gilmore answers right back with a birdie.</i> 1079 01:12:08,240 --> 01:12:10,743 <i>Happy with a long eagle opportunity.</i> 1080 01:12:12,578 --> 01:12:13,912 <i>It's good!</i> 1081 01:12:14,747 --> 01:12:16,915 <i>And Shooter can't believe it.</i> 1082 01:12:17,250 --> 01:12:20,419 <i>He is now tied with Happy Gilmore.</i> 1083 01:12:24,130 --> 01:12:26,049 <i>A little too much zip on that one.</i> 1084 01:12:27,927 --> 01:12:31,013 <i>Hold it. Hold it. Hold it.</i> 1085 01:12:31,264 --> 01:12:32,598 <i>No!</i> 1086 01:12:36,435 --> 01:12:38,019 I didn't see that. Did that go in? 1087 01:12:38,104 --> 01:12:40,815 'Cause I wasn't watching. Did it go in the... Did it go in the hole? 1088 01:12:40,898 --> 01:12:43,233 I wasn't watching and I know I saw it go up. 1089 01:12:43,317 --> 01:12:45,110 Did it come back in? All right. 1090 01:12:45,903 --> 01:12:49,114 <i>At the end of the third day, Happy Gilmore has taken the lead.</i> 1091 01:12:49,198 --> 01:12:51,325 And, Jack, one can't help but be impressed 1092 01:12:51,409 --> 01:12:53,619 with the vast improvement in his short game. 1093 01:13:13,055 --> 01:13:14,931 Hey, Donald. Shooter. 1094 01:13:15,140 --> 01:13:17,726 <i>Shooter! Hey, it's great to hear from you!</i> 1095 01:13:17,810 --> 01:13:20,604 <i>You wanna go to the Sizzler and get some grub?</i> 1096 01:13:20,730 --> 01:13:22,398 No thanks, pal. Not hungry. 1097 01:13:22,480 --> 01:13:26,568 Listen, this call's about business. I need you here in the morning. 1098 01:13:27,069 --> 01:13:29,529 Well, it's the final day of the Tour Championship 1099 01:13:29,614 --> 01:13:32,116 and it's shaping up to be quite a classic. 1100 01:13:32,240 --> 01:13:34,409 <i>Happy Gilmore leads the pack.</i> 1101 01:13:34,493 --> 01:13:38,788 <i>Could there be a changing of the guard? We'll know in eighteen short holes.</i> 1102 01:13:45,004 --> 01:13:47,840 <i>Happy is really on today.</i> 1103 01:13:52,970 --> 01:13:54,930 Happy, New Jersey loves you! 1104 01:13:55,014 --> 01:13:57,850 - Pittsburg loves you! - My sister loves you! 1105 01:14:00,853 --> 01:14:03,689 There he is, that worm. 1106 01:14:04,357 --> 01:14:05,941 Happy, look out! 1107 01:14:11,489 --> 01:14:13,324 Happy! Happy, you okay? 1108 01:14:13,407 --> 01:14:15,075 Volkswagen. 1109 01:14:15,368 --> 01:14:17,036 Jackass! 1110 01:14:25,378 --> 01:14:26,712 Oh, my God. 1111 01:14:33,010 --> 01:14:34,344 Jackass! 1112 01:14:34,679 --> 01:14:37,431 Well, you're a little banged up, but no serious injuries. 1113 01:14:37,723 --> 01:14:38,765 Just keep off the feet for a few days. 1114 01:14:39,140 --> 01:14:41,101 To hell with that, I got to finish up. 1115 01:14:41,185 --> 01:14:44,062 Fine. Do whatever you like. What would I know? I'm just a doctor. 1116 01:14:44,146 --> 01:14:45,856 - Hey, are you gonna be all right? - I'm fine. 1117 01:14:45,940 --> 01:14:49,360 Happy, there is no shame in throwing in the towel. 1118 01:14:49,443 --> 01:14:51,862 When it comes to your health, you can't be too cautious. 1119 01:14:51,946 --> 01:14:53,864 Let's just play some golf. 1120 01:14:54,615 --> 01:14:56,491 <i>I knew Happy Gilmore was tough,</i> 1121 01:14:56,575 --> 01:15:00,453 <i>but I can't believe he's going to keep playing after being hit by that car.</i> 1122 01:15:00,538 --> 01:15:02,831 <i>Let's hope it doesn't affect his game.</i> 1123 01:15:05,418 --> 01:15:06,544 My shoulder! 1124 01:15:06,627 --> 01:15:10,339 <i>Oh, my, that's the first time he's failed to out-drive Shooter McGavin.</i> 1125 01:15:10,423 --> 01:15:13,717 Well, well, well. Happy Gilmore is human after all. 1126 01:15:15,094 --> 01:15:19,594 Happy Gilmore is in big trouble, Jack. He's lost the power to hit the long ball. 1127 01:15:19,932 --> 01:15:22,267 If he's going to have any chance of winning today, 1128 01:15:22,350 --> 01:15:24,561 <i>he's got to get it done on the green.</i> 1129 01:15:30,443 --> 01:15:32,736 <i>He's really got to focus now.</i> 1130 01:15:32,820 --> 01:15:35,113 <i>He's got to save this one for par.</i> 1131 01:15:38,117 --> 01:15:41,370 <i>Oh, my. That bogey drops him out of the lead.</i> 1132 01:15:41,454 --> 01:15:45,416 <i>If he wants to stay in this thing, he has to calm down and sink some putts.</i> 1133 01:15:52,840 --> 01:15:56,426 Don't worry about your grandma, Gilmore. She can live with me, be my maid. 1134 01:16:02,975 --> 01:16:05,018 <i>Look at the cabbage he's in now.</i> 1135 01:16:05,352 --> 01:16:08,521 <i>Things just keep getting worse for Happy Gilmore.</i> 1136 01:16:11,776 --> 01:16:14,278 All right, just remember what Chubbs said, 1137 01:16:14,612 --> 01:16:16,488 "Go to a happy place. 1138 01:16:16,989 --> 01:16:18,824 "Go to a happy place." 1139 01:16:55,945 --> 01:16:57,863 Oh, God! 1140 01:17:11,043 --> 01:17:13,587 <i>This looks like the end for Happy Gilmore.</i> 1141 01:17:13,712 --> 01:17:16,047 <i>Shooter now has a commanding lead.</i> 1142 01:17:34,692 --> 01:17:36,902 Happy. Happy, look who's here. 1143 01:17:37,610 --> 01:17:38,862 Grandma. 1144 01:17:39,905 --> 01:17:42,657 Happy, you look upset. What's wrong? 1145 01:17:42,740 --> 01:17:45,160 I don't know what to say. I stink. I'm not gonna win. 1146 01:17:45,244 --> 01:17:48,080 That's all right, sweetheart. 1147 01:17:48,205 --> 01:17:50,749 The house isn't important. It's just a house. 1148 01:17:50,833 --> 01:17:53,293 Stop fraternizing with the help, Gilmore. 1149 01:17:53,377 --> 01:17:56,213 Just hit your ball, if you can find it. 1150 01:17:56,964 --> 01:17:58,256 Hi, Grandma. 1151 01:17:59,216 --> 01:18:03,716 Forget him. I just want you to be happy, darling. 1152 01:18:06,390 --> 01:18:07,891 All right, Grandma. 1153 01:18:14,190 --> 01:18:16,609 Grandma wants me to be happy. 1154 01:18:38,380 --> 01:18:41,549 Chin up, Happy. Don't feel bad about me. 1155 01:18:42,134 --> 01:18:43,969 I got my hand back, see. 1156 01:18:46,096 --> 01:18:49,599 <i>We've only just begun</i> 1157 01:18:51,018 --> 01:18:54,604 <i>to live</i> 1158 01:18:55,480 --> 01:18:59,610 <i>White lace and promises</i> 1159 01:19:00,610 --> 01:19:04,948 <i>A kiss for luck and we're on our way</i> 1160 01:19:14,250 --> 01:19:16,085 It ain't over yet, McGavin. 1161 01:19:16,168 --> 01:19:18,712 The way I see it, we've only just begun. 1162 01:19:46,532 --> 01:19:49,701 Happy, the gold jacket's yours. Shooter's gonna choke. 1163 01:19:55,165 --> 01:19:56,374 Unbelievable! 1164 01:20:08,512 --> 01:20:12,682 Damn you people! This is golf, not a rock concert! 1165 01:20:19,148 --> 01:20:20,440 I'm gonna putt! 1166 01:20:25,112 --> 01:20:26,238 Yeah! 1167 01:20:39,918 --> 01:20:43,421 Happy rules! 1168 01:20:57,144 --> 01:20:59,771 Happy Gilmore has really charged in the back nine. 1169 01:20:59,855 --> 01:21:02,357 He's now dead even with Shooter McGavin. 1170 01:21:02,483 --> 01:21:06,111 And if Shooter doesn't get himself out of this current funk he's in, 1171 01:21:06,278 --> 01:21:08,738 he may yet again miss out on the gold jacket. 1172 01:21:08,864 --> 01:21:13,243 Ladies and gentlemen, the 18th hole is a par three, 160 yards. 1173 01:21:13,452 --> 01:21:16,413 In the event of a tie, there will be a sudden death playoff. 1174 01:21:16,497 --> 01:21:18,999 Mr. Gilmore, you have the honors. 1175 01:21:20,209 --> 01:21:22,794 Well, no matter what, I got to admit I'm having fun. 1176 01:21:22,878 --> 01:21:25,422 Happy Gilmore, you're starting to sound like a golfer. 1177 01:21:25,506 --> 01:21:27,341 I know. Keep it down. 1178 01:21:46,193 --> 01:21:49,404 <i>Oh, nice shot! Right at the pin.</i> 1179 01:21:49,488 --> 01:21:51,490 <i>Fifteen feet short of the hole.</i> 1180 01:22:02,876 --> 01:22:06,254 Shooter's ball is in the woods and Happy's on the 18th green 1181 01:22:06,338 --> 01:22:10,300 where earlier a car driven by a crazed fan rammed the TV tower. 1182 01:22:10,884 --> 01:22:12,010 Yeah. 1183 01:22:13,679 --> 01:22:16,431 Excuse me, I just gotta get through. I'm looking for my ball. 1184 01:22:16,515 --> 01:22:20,185 This is golf, okay? Excuse me. Thank you. Thank you. 1185 01:22:26,316 --> 01:22:27,734 Is this your ball? 1186 01:22:28,318 --> 01:22:29,736 Yes, it is. 1187 01:22:30,154 --> 01:22:31,989 It struck my foot. 1188 01:22:32,364 --> 01:22:34,449 Doug! Doug. 1189 01:22:34,908 --> 01:22:36,409 Can I get a drop? 1190 01:22:37,703 --> 01:22:40,247 The rule says, "play it as it lies." 1191 01:23:03,353 --> 01:23:05,355 That's two thus far, Shooter. 1192 01:23:05,522 --> 01:23:07,690 Oh, you can count. Good for you. 1193 01:23:07,983 --> 01:23:12,195 And you can count on me waiting for you in the parking lot. 1194 01:23:14,823 --> 01:23:17,075 Run, Shooter, run for your life. 1195 01:23:25,918 --> 01:23:27,502 Looks like you're still away. 1196 01:23:27,586 --> 01:23:29,588 Yeah, I'm aware of that. Thank you. 1197 01:23:30,756 --> 01:23:31,923 I can't see. 1198 01:23:32,049 --> 01:23:33,258 Up here is good. 1199 01:23:46,605 --> 01:23:49,232 <i>Shooter needs this to keep the pressure on Gilmore.</i> 1200 01:23:49,483 --> 01:23:52,569 <i>If he misses, Happy can two-putt his way to victory.</i> 1201 01:23:57,740 --> 01:23:59,033 Get in that hole. 1202 01:24:02,955 --> 01:24:04,957 Choke on that, baby! 1203 01:24:11,630 --> 01:24:12,797 Yes! 1204 01:24:14,466 --> 01:24:15,717 Shooter. 1205 01:24:24,309 --> 01:24:28,313 <i>If Gilmore can sink this, it will cap an amazing comeback.</i> 1206 01:24:46,039 --> 01:24:48,833 Great. Now I have a stinking tower blocking my ball. 1207 01:24:48,917 --> 01:24:50,793 Don't worry about it, we'll get this cleaned up 1208 01:24:50,877 --> 01:24:52,795 and you'll finish tomorrow. Right, Doug? 1209 01:24:52,879 --> 01:24:56,674 No, no, he has to hit it now. He has to play the ball as it lies. 1210 01:24:57,092 --> 01:25:00,011 No, I had to hit it off Frankenstein's fat foot, remember? 1211 01:25:00,095 --> 01:25:01,971 Those are the rules. I didn't write them. 1212 01:25:02,055 --> 01:25:04,849 I'm afraid he's right. Take your shot, Mr. Gilmore. 1213 01:25:05,892 --> 01:25:09,812 Oh, and Virginia, in case you were wondering, my jacket size is 44 long. 1214 01:25:09,896 --> 01:25:12,899 And my right arm is just a little longer than my left. 1215 01:25:13,984 --> 01:25:15,944 Happy, hit it around the tower, 1216 01:25:16,028 --> 01:25:18,488 sink your putt, and we'll go to sudden death. 1217 01:25:25,662 --> 01:25:27,538 I'll just beat him now. 1218 01:25:29,416 --> 01:25:30,542 Good luck. 1219 01:25:35,797 --> 01:25:38,424 Chubbs, I know you're gonna help me with this one. 1220 01:26:13,919 --> 01:26:16,004 Oh, my God! 1221 01:26:16,088 --> 01:26:19,841 <i>Incredible! Happy Gilmore wins the gold jacket.</i> 1222 01:26:19,925 --> 01:26:21,051 No! No! 1223 01:26:23,762 --> 01:26:26,181 I love you. I love you. 1224 01:26:26,598 --> 01:26:28,266 And I love you. 1225 01:26:28,725 --> 01:26:31,185 Doug! Doug! It's impossible! 1226 01:26:31,269 --> 01:26:34,272 That's my jacket! It's mine! 1227 01:26:35,190 --> 01:26:37,025 Hey! He stole my jacket! 1228 01:26:37,693 --> 01:26:39,528 I believe that's Mr. Gilmore's. 1229 01:27:01,883 --> 01:27:03,843 I will get you, Shooter! 1230 01:27:08,557 --> 01:27:09,808 Stay still! 1231 01:27:10,267 --> 01:27:11,559 <i>No!</i> 1232 01:27:24,448 --> 01:27:26,074 - You coming? - You bet. 1233 01:27:26,158 --> 01:27:27,492 All right. 1234 01:27:41,130 --> 01:27:43,508 Here's to Chubbs, wherever he is. 1235 01:27:47,304 --> 01:27:48,763 <i>Hey, Happy.</i> 1236 01:27:51,349 --> 01:27:52,767 <i>Nice jacket.</i> 1237 01:27:55,604 --> 01:27:57,856 Who are you waving at, Happy? 1238 01:27:59,357 --> 01:28:02,234 Nobody, Grandma. Let's go home. 1239 01:28:03,305 --> 01:29:03,498 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm