Cinq et la peau

1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Do you want subtitles for any video? -=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=- 2 00:00:52,404 --> 00:00:53,905 Ivan would he follow, 3 00:00:54,281 --> 00:00:57,159 pursue spring across the world? 4 00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:00,237 Five and the Skin 5 00:01:03,165 --> 00:01:05,208 I see a flock of birds flying by. 6 00:01:05,375 --> 00:01:08,587 Why is it light, agile and safe? 7 00:01:09,671 --> 00:01:12,257 Why does it follow in the boundless sky, 8 00:01:12,424 --> 00:01:13,550 its free course? 9 00:01:33,237 --> 00:01:35,489 Everything happened as if, in my journey, 10 00:01:35,656 --> 00:01:37,366 I let Manila choose me. 11 00:01:37,532 --> 00:01:40,285 Manila, Maynilla, Manila. 12 00:01:40,336 --> 00:01:42,563 I have this obsession with wandering around. 13 00:01:42,614 --> 00:01:43,614 Looking for what? 14 00:01:44,059 --> 00:01:46,187 And why here rather than elsewhere? 15 00:01:47,234 --> 00:01:48,877 I should have preferred Jakarta, 16 00:01:49,052 --> 00:01:51,880 closer to the equator, more at the centre of the networks. 17 00:01:51,955 --> 00:01:54,247 Manila, which has no centre, is made for those 18 00:01:54,299 --> 00:01:55,926 that have no centre. 19 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:59,304 Manila, Southeast Asian heterogeneous, 20 00:01:59,471 --> 00:02:01,264 made to welcome the wanderer. 21 00:02:01,369 --> 00:02:02,419 Picturesque Manila, 22 00:02:02,516 --> 00:02:05,394 made for that the scenery can distract you from yourself. 23 00:02:05,811 --> 00:02:07,396 Manila's got me. 24 00:02:07,562 --> 00:02:09,398 I don't have Manila. 25 00:02:09,564 --> 00:02:13,443 Days and nights that end up months, years. 26 00:02:13,494 --> 00:02:14,973 It's been almost two years, 27 00:02:15,142 --> 00:02:16,644 and I haven't left yet. 28 00:02:22,494 --> 00:02:26,581 Here, in with great momentum, the paint bursts from the walls. 29 00:02:27,582 --> 00:02:29,668 A carnival, a sad one these days. 30 00:02:48,019 --> 00:02:50,313 In a foreign city, 31 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:52,691 a city with an opaque present, 32 00:02:52,858 --> 00:02:56,027 trying to come to terms with its singularity, 33 00:02:56,403 --> 00:03:00,323 through mental, emotional, passionate emotional and passionate itineraries, 34 00:03:00,490 --> 00:03:02,534 affective, sexual. 35 00:03:02,701 --> 00:03:05,704 Looking for its integrity. 36 00:03:05,829 --> 00:03:09,374 Looking for a integrity. 37 00:03:13,712 --> 00:03:15,672 It's far away from ourselves, 38 00:03:15,839 --> 00:03:18,550 of our identity, that we are searching. 39 00:03:20,302 --> 00:03:21,803 Nothing has changed. 40 00:03:21,970 --> 00:03:24,598 In any case, I don't notice it. 41 00:03:25,390 --> 00:03:26,683 20 years ago, 42 00:03:27,392 --> 00:03:29,394 who I was then, 43 00:03:29,561 --> 00:03:31,396 someone else, of course. 44 00:03:31,855 --> 00:03:35,567 Twenty useless years. Twenty wasted years. 45 00:03:36,026 --> 00:03:37,819 I'm trying to rebuild, in my mind, 46 00:03:37,986 --> 00:03:40,781 who I was and what I was like 20 years ago. 47 00:03:40,847 --> 00:03:42,490 There are so many characters in novels 48 00:03:42,541 --> 00:03:44,396 that I know better than this 'me'. 49 00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:47,037 20 years ago. 50 00:03:54,628 --> 00:03:57,380 Of all my cravings, the strongest I have is of 'me'. 51 00:03:58,048 --> 00:03:59,591 This bulimia, 52 00:03:59,758 --> 00:04:02,052 no amount of fidgeting can appease it. 53 00:04:34,668 --> 00:04:36,545 Knowing how to stay, 54 00:04:37,462 --> 00:04:38,630 dwell. 55 00:04:42,843 --> 00:04:45,554 In this swarming, a reference point. 56 00:04:46,096 --> 00:04:48,390 Den, landmark, burrow, 57 00:04:48,557 --> 00:04:49,891 where to find your bearings. 58 00:04:56,565 --> 00:04:58,692 I collect images, traces 59 00:04:58,859 --> 00:05:01,528 remains, memories of places, of links, 60 00:05:01,695 --> 00:05:03,655 the beings of my travels. 61 00:05:03,822 --> 00:05:07,492 What I bring in from the outside, what I discover here. 62 00:05:07,659 --> 00:05:10,745 Here, I pick up words of a vocabulary I want to be my own. 63 00:05:10,912 --> 00:05:14,499 The vibrations of movements, glances caught and then lost. 64 00:05:14,666 --> 00:05:16,126 I'm recovering myself. 65 00:05:30,682 --> 00:05:32,726 I tidy up, I put order in what moves me, 66 00:05:32,893 --> 00:05:35,854 what could help me, what little I've acquired. 67 00:05:46,531 --> 00:05:49,534 Space, at last, ceases to be outside. 68 00:05:51,912 --> 00:05:53,830 I feel, for a moment, the centre. 69 00:05:53,997 --> 00:05:58,209 A formative, fire-bearing centre, going instead of drifting, 70 00:05:58,585 --> 00:06:00,170 in a few vague points of the sphere, 71 00:06:00,503 --> 00:06:03,006 always groping towards my circumference. 72 00:06:13,516 --> 00:06:14,559 Ivan, 73 00:06:15,977 --> 00:06:18,521 tell me what you love most. 74 00:06:18,688 --> 00:06:20,190 People or things? 75 00:06:24,736 --> 00:06:26,237 I go from hotels to palaces. 76 00:06:26,613 --> 00:06:29,741 Traveller of the eternal return to the same luxurious room. 77 00:06:29,908 --> 00:06:33,578 I imagine myself a hermit's soul in the midst of cosmopolitan bustle. 78 00:06:33,745 --> 00:06:37,749 I like these hotels. I need them for my hygiene. 79 00:06:37,816 --> 00:06:39,459 Soul and body, for their cleanliness, 80 00:06:39,542 --> 00:06:41,628 do not always use the same means. 81 00:06:43,213 --> 00:06:45,215 Luxury has to be bought. 82 00:06:45,924 --> 00:06:47,217 And I don't have any money. 83 00:06:48,176 --> 00:06:50,136 I have to find some. 84 00:06:50,512 --> 00:06:53,515 Playing the middleman, the broker. 85 00:06:53,974 --> 00:06:55,016 Using my contacts 86 00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:56,966 God, since he is clever, may know why: 87 00:06:57,018 --> 00:07:00,522 I frequently have run-ins with women. Business women. 88 00:07:01,064 --> 00:07:02,565 Women, 89 00:07:02,732 --> 00:07:04,609 they look the part. 90 00:07:04,776 --> 00:07:06,569 Tiger women, 91 00:07:06,736 --> 00:07:07,821 harpies, 92 00:07:07,988 --> 00:07:09,155 raptors. 93 00:07:09,906 --> 00:07:11,825 More raptor then woman. 94 00:07:12,742 --> 00:07:14,661 And if I try to reach the woman, 95 00:07:14,828 --> 00:07:17,080 I'm a victim of the virago. 96 00:07:18,039 --> 00:07:20,583 Having to play tricks in a zoo, 97 00:07:20,750 --> 00:07:22,293 I can't handle it. 98 00:07:23,211 --> 00:07:25,839 I cannot forgive this offence. 99 00:07:34,764 --> 00:07:37,559 He lowers his eyes, very tired of seeing the world. 100 00:07:37,976 --> 00:07:40,812 It's injustice and fate. 101 00:07:43,524 --> 00:07:46,109 It's funny: it was in the Philippines that Fritz Lang, 102 00:07:46,276 --> 00:07:48,737 right after the war, made his worst film. 103 00:07:49,112 --> 00:07:51,114 Intra-muros had just been burned down. 104 00:07:51,281 --> 00:07:53,908 There was nothing left of Spanish Manila. 105 00:07:54,075 --> 00:07:55,869 There wasn't even, if I may say so, 106 00:07:56,036 --> 00:07:58,204 the film trailer of today's Manila. 107 00:07:58,997 --> 00:08:01,916 Maybe that's why here, Lang didn't have the eye. 108 00:08:02,083 --> 00:08:04,044 The function creates the organ. 109 00:08:05,003 --> 00:08:07,119 Very old, near his house, retired in the hills, 110 00:08:07,172 --> 00:08:08,798 with his poor view, 111 00:08:08,965 --> 00:08:13,053 he watched, or so he thought, squirrels playing in the sun. 112 00:08:13,219 --> 00:08:14,646 He gave them nuts. 113 00:08:14,822 --> 00:08:17,797 It took me a long time to understand why he was so insistent 114 00:08:17,849 --> 00:08:20,226 that he hated Secret Beyond the Door. 115 00:08:20,602 --> 00:08:22,854 This film that he must necessarily loved so much 116 00:08:23,021 --> 00:08:26,024 until the resounding failure which ruined his production company: 117 00:08:26,191 --> 00:08:27,692 Diana. 118 00:08:27,859 --> 00:08:31,237 Diana. It sounds like the name of a beloved woman. 119 00:08:32,113 --> 00:08:33,198 One day, 120 00:08:33,364 --> 00:08:37,035 I realised that Fritz Lang's generosity, was his naivety. 121 00:08:37,911 --> 00:08:41,706 His naive dream of believing that a man could change. 122 00:08:42,290 --> 00:08:45,335 That men, life can change. 123 00:08:48,338 --> 00:08:51,841 Wandering in a network of rails, of wires, 124 00:08:52,008 --> 00:08:55,053 tracing a web that confuses me. 125 00:09:04,354 --> 00:09:08,066 In the water, who remembers that their punishment is over? 126 00:09:08,942 --> 00:09:09,984 Water. 127 00:09:11,736 --> 00:09:14,405 She has done many other things. 128 00:09:15,698 --> 00:09:17,867 Like flowing over me. 129 00:09:18,743 --> 00:09:20,036 To be a thick layer. 130 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:54,279 A woman is line. 131 00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:57,407 A woman is color. 132 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,786 I've come to put order inside myself. 133 00:10:03,746 --> 00:10:05,081 The canvas. 134 00:10:05,415 --> 00:10:06,916 A note. 135 00:10:07,083 --> 00:10:08,918 A series of notes. 136 00:10:13,214 --> 00:10:15,341 Outside of the noise, outside of the swarm, 137 00:10:15,717 --> 00:10:17,260 marivaudage. 138 00:10:17,427 --> 00:10:19,804 Marivaudage with images, 139 00:10:20,346 --> 00:10:24,058 to wash away the slag deposited by the tohu wa-bohu. 140 00:10:27,979 --> 00:10:29,731 In this discord, 141 00:10:29,898 --> 00:10:31,065 agreement. 142 00:10:43,119 --> 00:10:44,787 Your eye is your memory. 143 00:11:21,032 --> 00:11:24,953 The night seems to want to order the cries. 144 00:11:34,045 --> 00:11:37,799 In the cozy thickness of this red night. 145 00:11:52,981 --> 00:11:55,191 Me who has lived in illusion, 146 00:11:55,358 --> 00:11:58,111 throughout this life, rises up one day. 147 00:12:00,238 --> 00:12:03,533 Here, the future is in the present tense. 148 00:12:29,142 --> 00:12:30,601 The clock stopped 149 00:12:30,977 --> 00:12:32,437 shouts no more. 150 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,277 Around this furniture, 151 00:12:39,444 --> 00:12:43,114 people have lived a life in accordance with the light. 152 00:12:43,281 --> 00:12:45,366 The light of this furniture. 153 00:12:50,580 --> 00:12:53,458 At that time, we welcomed time. 154 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,961 Outside, it could rain for a long time. 155 00:13:12,435 --> 00:13:16,230 Will it come back, this almost forgotten art, from a bygone era? 156 00:13:17,523 --> 00:13:19,067 Will he come back for everyone? 157 00:13:43,174 --> 00:13:45,468 Near hibiscus bushes, 158 00:13:45,635 --> 00:13:47,428 women projected their desire 159 00:13:47,970 --> 00:13:50,056 in an apparent play of lace. 160 00:14:17,166 --> 00:14:20,044 If you're thirsty, drink a Kalamansi. 161 00:14:20,545 --> 00:14:25,383 A small lemon with pungent juice, under a fragrant green rind. 162 00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:28,511 Apply pressure between thumb and forefinger. 163 00:14:28,678 --> 00:14:32,390 Mix it in the right proportion with ice-cold water. 164 00:14:32,515 --> 00:14:34,142 The juice is teasing. 165 00:14:34,517 --> 00:14:38,146 You will be invigorated and refreshed. 166 00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:40,471 Believe me, it's worth doing without lunch, 167 00:14:40,523 --> 00:14:42,650 to taste, mid-afternoon, 168 00:14:42,884 --> 00:14:45,262 the voluptuousness of a bygone Spanish tradition. 169 00:14:45,570 --> 00:14:47,321 The merienda. 170 00:14:47,488 --> 00:14:48,698 Especially when a young girl 171 00:14:49,031 --> 00:14:51,033 that you'd fall in love with if you we were lazy 172 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,243 is your hostess. 173 00:14:58,541 --> 00:15:01,586 You stop. All you need to do is move your eyelids back and forth 174 00:15:01,752 --> 00:15:03,421 to find yourself within yourself. 175 00:15:13,181 --> 00:15:15,475 You'll be able to taste up until the colors. 176 00:15:19,103 --> 00:15:23,191 Sometimes, women make your space more attractive. 177 00:15:57,391 --> 00:15:58,643 Ivan, 178 00:15:58,809 --> 00:16:01,646 do you know this poem by a Japanese woman? 179 00:16:02,813 --> 00:16:05,566 It lists things that make the heart beat faster. 180 00:16:05,733 --> 00:16:08,319 Like lying alone in a bedroom 181 00:16:08,486 --> 00:16:10,571 where a delicious perfume lingers. 182 00:16:11,322 --> 00:16:13,533 Like a night when it rains 183 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,619 and we are waiting for someone. 184 00:16:37,348 --> 00:16:40,643 If my inner world resembled this vast night, 185 00:16:40,810 --> 00:16:44,272 it seems to me, I'd have no more insomnia. 186 00:16:45,690 --> 00:16:47,608 What remains of Manila Bay 187 00:16:47,775 --> 00:16:49,735 still lends itself to confidences. 188 00:16:50,820 --> 00:16:53,698 How many times have I walked along it with Denkar, 189 00:16:53,864 --> 00:16:57,159 who was to become a true partner for me. 190 00:16:57,326 --> 00:17:01,330 He had guessed the silences in my past. 191 00:17:13,259 --> 00:17:15,469 We had to dig very deep. 192 00:17:15,636 --> 00:17:17,722 Destroy the destination of all bridges. 193 00:17:17,888 --> 00:17:22,143 Make every landscapes look like a change of scenery. 194 00:17:22,310 --> 00:17:25,229 Force straight the curve of all horizons. 195 00:17:35,573 --> 00:17:38,868 Manila, don't think you ever knew me. 196 00:17:44,415 --> 00:17:45,458 In Manila, 197 00:17:45,666 --> 00:17:48,628 sensuality perfumes the intimacy of the hours. 198 00:17:49,879 --> 00:17:51,464 Manila wasn't greedy 199 00:17:51,631 --> 00:17:55,384 and offered me brief adventures as if they were flowing vacations. 200 00:17:57,261 --> 00:17:59,263 Balm for my wounds. 201 00:18:31,796 --> 00:18:34,548 It's the first time I've seen you like this. 202 00:18:34,715 --> 00:18:36,300 You're very handsome. 203 00:18:43,933 --> 00:18:46,769 Is happiness so original that it's worth talking about? 204 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,657 And ceremoniously keeping it in an enclosed space. 205 00:19:42,366 --> 00:19:44,326 Maki would accompany me on my wanderings 206 00:19:44,493 --> 00:19:45,995 from street to street. 207 00:19:51,667 --> 00:19:53,627 Maki's fulfilled solitude allowed me 208 00:19:53,794 --> 00:19:55,755 to measure my distance. 209 00:20:01,469 --> 00:20:04,722 The most convenient, most distant woman. 210 00:20:05,514 --> 00:20:07,683 My particular habit. 211 00:20:08,517 --> 00:20:10,311 A connivance 212 00:20:10,478 --> 00:20:12,897 more relaxing than attention, 213 00:20:13,063 --> 00:20:15,399 drawn from silence itself. 214 00:20:40,049 --> 00:20:41,634 By taking Charo, 215 00:20:41,801 --> 00:20:43,052 from Maki's bar, 216 00:20:43,427 --> 00:20:46,347 I had rediscovered an impulse from my adolescence. 217 00:20:46,514 --> 00:20:47,816 I explained it to myself 218 00:20:47,882 --> 00:20:50,592 by becoming fast friends with Carding, the driver. 219 00:20:55,898 --> 00:20:59,902 With them, I took the pulse of the city and its suburbs. 220 00:21:00,069 --> 00:21:02,905 They connected me to this astute, warm-hearted hustle and bustle, 221 00:21:03,072 --> 00:21:04,865 of resourcefulness. 222 00:21:05,032 --> 00:21:07,827 Because here, you can only live by your wits. 223 00:21:07,993 --> 00:21:10,788 When you're caught up in a thousand small jobs from childhood, 224 00:21:10,955 --> 00:21:14,458 it's not about finding the job that will make you fulfilled. 225 00:21:15,376 --> 00:21:19,088 With Charo, I hung out very late, or very early, 226 00:21:19,463 --> 00:21:22,883 in refreshment stalls whose smells and vibes 227 00:21:23,050 --> 00:21:26,053 gave me Manila in all it's glory. 228 00:21:29,056 --> 00:21:31,809 You never knew how you warmed my heart, 229 00:21:31,934 --> 00:21:33,853 little flower sellers. 230 00:21:34,019 --> 00:21:36,105 And you too, little salesmen 231 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:39,108 from whom I bought smoke puffs. 232 00:21:40,985 --> 00:21:43,028 Your eyes were screaming. 233 00:21:51,161 --> 00:21:53,622 Manila met Lino Brocka. 234 00:21:53,789 --> 00:21:55,958 Lino Brocka met Manila. 235 00:21:56,959 --> 00:21:59,086 In the plays he stages, as in his films, 236 00:21:59,461 --> 00:22:02,965 there's all the hustle and bustle of Manila, right down to the screams. 237 00:22:03,674 --> 00:22:07,636 PETA, a popular theater group, 238 00:22:07,803 --> 00:22:11,056 domiciled in this place made for theatrical performances, 239 00:22:11,432 --> 00:22:13,517 of the Dulaang Rajah Sulayman, 240 00:22:13,684 --> 00:22:15,519 in the ruins of Fort Santiago. 241 00:22:15,686 --> 00:22:18,606 He runs it with the enthusiasm of a crusader. 242 00:22:19,165 --> 00:22:21,559 Generous with his time, energy and with the money 243 00:22:21,609 --> 00:22:23,517 he makes from commercial films 244 00:22:23,569 --> 00:22:26,697 trying to keep up with the activities he holds dear. 245 00:22:26,864 --> 00:22:28,574 Money slips through his fingers, 246 00:22:28,741 --> 00:22:30,299 he's constantly reinvesting, 247 00:22:30,351 --> 00:22:32,645 to the point of exhaustion, of his working capital. 248 00:22:32,737 --> 00:22:34,622 Is it the abundance of its activities 249 00:22:34,705 --> 00:22:36,457 that made him a household name? 250 00:22:36,624 --> 00:22:39,877 Is it because millions de manileños know him, 251 00:22:40,002 --> 00:22:42,004 that by osmosis, he projected their lives 252 00:22:42,171 --> 00:22:44,798 and their dreams on screen and on stage? 253 00:22:45,549 --> 00:22:49,011 Lino Brocka, is the laughter of a joyous dance. 254 00:22:49,178 --> 00:22:51,221 A laugh that spreads like fire. 255 00:22:51,597 --> 00:22:53,849 A vengeful laugh against horror, sadness 256 00:22:54,016 --> 00:22:56,727 degradation, humiliation, decrepitude. 257 00:22:56,894 --> 00:22:59,146 Mountain-shaking laughter. 258 00:22:59,521 --> 00:23:03,192 Tragedy becomes laughter and cruelty becomes tenderness. 259 00:23:11,951 --> 00:23:15,245 Was it too much to ask Maki to be my accomplice? 260 00:23:15,621 --> 00:23:17,696 She often accompanied me on peregrinations 261 00:23:17,748 --> 00:23:19,959 that brought me back to a familiar gallery, 262 00:23:20,125 --> 00:23:23,128 held by a young woman who had the mischief and audacity 263 00:23:23,504 --> 00:23:27,355 to name one of her silkscreen prints: Fellatio 264 00:23:29,218 --> 00:23:31,095 Fellatio is a dialogue. 265 00:23:34,682 --> 00:23:37,851 What time is it? I don't know.. 266 00:23:38,018 --> 00:23:40,229 I fix the wall as if it were the universe. 267 00:23:40,378 --> 00:23:42,680 The whole space is suddenly at a standstill. 268 00:23:58,038 --> 00:23:59,915 You've been around for centuries, Manila, 269 00:24:00,082 --> 00:24:03,627 and it looks like on you, the centuries just slipped off. 270 00:24:04,837 --> 00:24:06,588 Borders. 271 00:24:07,673 --> 00:24:09,008 Edges. 272 00:24:10,592 --> 00:24:11,802 Orées. 273 00:24:12,678 --> 00:24:14,555 Where are yours? 274 00:24:16,098 --> 00:24:17,808 You're not just one city, Manila, 275 00:24:17,975 --> 00:24:20,894 you're a motley collection of small and medium-sized towns, 276 00:24:21,061 --> 00:24:23,105 of more or less autonomous villages. 277 00:24:23,272 --> 00:24:25,858 A city in transit from a rural colonial town 278 00:24:26,025 --> 00:24:28,819 to a metropolis whose past is difficult to read 279 00:24:28,986 --> 00:24:31,196 and whose future is hard to see. 280 00:24:48,047 --> 00:24:49,089 Clutter, 281 00:24:49,256 --> 00:24:50,299 swarm. 282 00:24:50,674 --> 00:24:54,178 You're a hollow that purrs and burns between horizons. 283 00:24:57,848 --> 00:24:59,430 You're like a word I don't know, 284 00:24:59,483 --> 00:25:00,525 that I'm learning. 285 00:25:01,351 --> 00:25:03,687 Soon, perhaps, I'll know how to place it 286 00:25:03,854 --> 00:25:05,689 in a coherent sentence. 287 00:25:08,108 --> 00:25:10,194 Jeepneys are Manila's natural children. 288 00:25:23,749 --> 00:25:26,050 My imagination crosses the obvious. 289 00:25:27,878 --> 00:25:30,714 Do the screams of the rails run in parallel? 290 00:25:32,674 --> 00:25:33,717 Alone. 291 00:25:34,718 --> 00:25:38,055 Like a rhinoceros among jeepneys. 292 00:25:45,229 --> 00:25:47,856 Manila, where the game of encounters 293 00:25:48,023 --> 00:25:49,900 kept me going reliving tensions, 294 00:25:50,275 --> 00:25:53,821 of yesterday's breakups, like a psychodrama. 295 00:26:05,079 --> 00:26:06,321 Can you give me a lift? 296 00:26:06,372 --> 00:26:08,686 You told me earlier that you didn't want to see me anymore. 297 00:26:08,710 --> 00:26:11,255 I won't see you again because I won't leave you. 298 00:26:11,421 --> 00:26:14,424 - Right. Very true. - So will you take me? 299 00:26:18,095 --> 00:26:19,847 Don't tell me that you go into Manila 300 00:26:20,013 --> 00:26:21,890 as you go into a body. 301 00:26:53,422 --> 00:26:55,215 Ivan was bogged down in his past. 302 00:26:56,258 --> 00:26:57,301 Kept harping on it. 303 00:26:58,218 --> 00:26:59,761 Questioned it. 304 00:27:04,808 --> 00:27:08,812 Before me, a jumble of things that happened to me. 305 00:27:09,813 --> 00:27:12,274 All those for which I blame myself and repent. 306 00:27:14,443 --> 00:27:16,778 Before me, a jumble of things 307 00:27:16,945 --> 00:27:18,864 that didn't happen to me. 308 00:27:19,781 --> 00:27:22,075 All those for which I blame myself and repent. 309 00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:26,413 Before of me, a jumble of things that are nothing. 310 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:31,084 Only those for which I blame myself and repent. 311 00:27:33,162 --> 00:27:35,954 If in a certain conversation I had uttered the phrases 312 00:27:36,006 --> 00:27:39,218 that I elaborate only now, in half-sleep... 313 00:27:45,007 --> 00:27:47,090 The sentences I forgot to say at the time 314 00:27:47,142 --> 00:27:49,311 all come to mind. 315 00:27:50,020 --> 00:27:51,063 Clear. 316 00:27:51,855 --> 00:27:53,065 Unavoidable. 317 00:27:54,316 --> 00:27:55,943 Natural. 318 00:28:17,470 --> 00:28:20,080 My imagination intersects with these obvious facts. 319 00:28:20,550 --> 00:28:22,344 These requirements. 320 00:28:50,914 --> 00:28:52,207 I stare at you 321 00:28:53,250 --> 00:28:54,418 and I dream. 322 00:28:57,546 --> 00:28:59,298 Beautiful as a knee. 323 00:28:59,464 --> 00:29:02,092 Hector invoking, by your life, 324 00:29:02,259 --> 00:29:03,927 by your parents, 325 00:29:04,094 --> 00:29:05,387 by your knees. 326 00:29:08,140 --> 00:29:11,935 Put your hand on my heart. Listen to how it beats. 327 00:29:12,561 --> 00:29:14,855 Can love be born in a bar? 328 00:29:16,106 --> 00:29:17,399 I don't know the word. 329 00:29:17,566 --> 00:29:19,901 But I can hear my blood, it's not beating anymore. 330 00:29:21,862 --> 00:29:22,904 Ivan, 331 00:29:23,405 --> 00:29:26,283 you and me, we know the whole world. 332 00:29:26,575 --> 00:29:29,161 We've known each other for a long time. 333 00:29:29,328 --> 00:29:30,412 No. 334 00:29:31,538 --> 00:29:35,000 We've lived in the same places, but never met. 335 00:29:35,167 --> 00:29:37,919 And we have the impression the other knows the whole world. 336 00:29:40,630 --> 00:29:43,550 Here we are. Ivan's name is Paul. 337 00:29:43,925 --> 00:29:46,334 I told you a part of a novel I'll never write. 338 00:29:46,386 --> 00:29:49,056 I think I'm prejudiced against your alter ego. 339 00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:50,497 He must be pretty cynical. 340 00:29:50,574 --> 00:29:52,309 I kept it in broad strokes, though. 341 00:29:52,434 --> 00:29:54,102 This is how I imagine it: 342 00:29:54,269 --> 00:29:56,480 He wants to hurt the young girl, Arielle. 343 00:29:56,646 --> 00:29:59,274 But suppose he really fell in love with Arielle... 344 00:29:59,441 --> 00:30:01,182 and that his conduct is but a safeguard 345 00:30:01,234 --> 00:30:02,903 against the fear of letting go. 346 00:30:03,070 --> 00:30:05,405 Suppose he was the one who was injured. 347 00:30:05,472 --> 00:30:08,091 And that he's afraid of having the fatal wound with Arielle. 348 00:30:08,158 --> 00:30:09,910 That may well be. 349 00:30:10,077 --> 00:30:13,163 It may even be true. Reality. 350 00:30:13,330 --> 00:30:14,581 Ivan, 351 00:30:14,956 --> 00:30:16,541 who was Arielle? 352 00:30:16,917 --> 00:30:20,629 Could it have been you? Arielle becomes Ariane. 353 00:30:21,004 --> 00:30:23,006 Don't try to hurt me. 354 00:30:23,173 --> 00:30:24,966 You're not Arielle. 355 00:30:25,133 --> 00:30:27,177 You're Ariane. And I'm Ivan. 356 00:30:29,137 --> 00:30:31,056 A man who desires you. 357 00:30:33,016 --> 00:30:36,019 Why did I want to see you again? 358 00:30:36,186 --> 00:30:38,563 This isn't like me, you know. 359 00:30:38,939 --> 00:30:42,317 Perhaps you felt that I was falling in love with you. 360 00:30:43,402 --> 00:30:46,029 It's not like me either, believe me. 361 00:30:46,196 --> 00:30:50,075 Ivan, what did you do with all your projects? 362 00:30:50,242 --> 00:30:53,328 I think I'm letting them ripen. 363 00:30:53,495 --> 00:30:56,331 But it's up to you to make them ripe. 364 00:30:56,498 --> 00:30:59,501 Yes, but time helps maturity. 365 00:31:00,085 --> 00:31:02,963 But you, you have to help time. 366 00:31:03,030 --> 00:31:06,132 And letting time work for you is not the same as being lazy. 367 00:31:08,260 --> 00:31:10,971 To want. I want infinity. 368 00:31:14,558 --> 00:31:17,227 Manila is a city of young girls. 369 00:31:17,394 --> 00:31:19,146 It has their softness. 370 00:31:20,397 --> 00:31:23,567 More than anywhere else we're taken by the spirit of love. 371 00:31:24,609 --> 00:31:27,320 Taken by the spirit of love. 372 00:31:35,704 --> 00:31:37,497 But for fear to break the armour 373 00:31:37,580 --> 00:31:39,796 of my emotional frigidity, 374 00:31:40,217 --> 00:31:42,435 I had to have the strength not to transgress 375 00:31:42,502 --> 00:31:45,172 the edges of polite love. 376 00:31:48,425 --> 00:31:50,635 - I don't know your name. - Ivan. 377 00:31:51,011 --> 00:31:53,054 Ivan, an ancient name. 378 00:31:53,221 --> 00:31:54,723 Ivan and Arielle. 379 00:31:55,599 --> 00:31:57,434 To love me, you only have days. 380 00:31:57,601 --> 00:31:59,311 Maybe weeks. 381 00:31:59,478 --> 00:32:02,105 - Not your whole life, too? - I don't think so. 382 00:32:02,188 --> 00:32:03,740 Would you have caressed me? 383 00:32:03,897 --> 00:32:06,743 And you wouldn't have said anything? You would have accepted? 384 00:32:06,838 --> 00:32:08,198 Perhaps. 385 00:32:09,070 --> 00:32:10,113 Probably, yes. 386 00:32:10,197 --> 00:32:13,116 I'd like to ride with you all night. Far away. 387 00:32:13,283 --> 00:32:14,743 Across the border. 388 00:32:14,977 --> 00:32:15,797 Which one? 389 00:32:15,919 --> 00:32:18,180 Customs officials would say: "Are you Madame..." 390 00:32:18,247 --> 00:32:21,161 They would speak in their language and I would reply in French. 391 00:32:21,249 --> 00:32:24,252 Softly, just for you: "Yes, I'm Mrs. Ivan." 392 00:32:24,419 --> 00:32:26,971 And I would always give the same answer. For you alone. 393 00:32:27,047 --> 00:32:28,465 And at every checkpoint I'd be 394 00:32:28,590 --> 00:32:31,468 a new woman with new lips. 395 00:32:32,385 --> 00:32:35,805 I have a photographic memory of your immobile hands, 396 00:32:36,181 --> 00:32:37,599 softly elongated. 397 00:32:39,643 --> 00:32:41,811 I remember them now, 398 00:32:42,187 --> 00:32:44,147 more than you. 399 00:32:45,524 --> 00:32:47,150 Your slender hands, 400 00:32:47,734 --> 00:32:49,444 a little pale, 401 00:32:49,611 --> 00:32:51,071 a bit mine. 402 00:32:52,155 --> 00:32:54,574 It was a day that you were sitting down, 403 00:32:54,741 --> 00:32:55,784 calm, 404 00:32:56,159 --> 00:32:57,327 on your knees. 405 00:32:58,328 --> 00:32:59,621 Ivan, 406 00:32:59,788 --> 00:33:02,541 do you know this poem by a Japanese woman? 407 00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:06,336 It lists the things that make the heart beat 408 00:33:06,753 --> 00:33:09,297 like some young girls' gestures 409 00:33:10,632 --> 00:33:12,551 when, for the first time, 410 00:33:12,717 --> 00:33:14,427 they catch a glimpse of love. 411 00:33:14,844 --> 00:33:16,388 I had fun winding him up. 412 00:33:16,500 --> 00:33:18,755 Tomorrow, he'll be raging against young girls 413 00:33:18,807 --> 00:33:20,108 who keep gentlemen waiting. 414 00:33:20,175 --> 00:33:22,653 I wish I could be there to see the look on his face. 415 00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:24,802 It will still be the same face, you know. 416 00:33:24,854 --> 00:33:28,400 Perhaps. But I'd still like to see it. 417 00:33:28,567 --> 00:33:30,318 Do you often stand guys up like that? 418 00:33:30,485 --> 00:33:33,363 Oh, no. But it's not that bad, is it? 419 00:33:33,530 --> 00:33:36,741 Arielle, tell me you're marivauding. 420 00:33:37,117 --> 00:33:39,578 Of course, Ivan, I'm marivauding. 421 00:33:39,744 --> 00:33:41,371 Do I look like I'm serious? 422 00:33:43,493 --> 00:33:45,937 When I said I was a little boy... 423 00:33:46,055 --> 00:33:47,890 Who loves little girls. 424 00:33:48,378 --> 00:33:50,880 I've read that eating human flesh gives you pimples. 425 00:33:51,506 --> 00:33:52,841 I'm as hungry as a wolf. 426 00:33:53,216 --> 00:33:54,676 As a little wolf. 427 00:33:54,843 --> 00:33:56,177 Take a bite of me. 428 00:33:57,220 --> 00:33:59,806 Look at this woman's knees. 429 00:34:00,181 --> 00:34:01,683 She's looking at you. 430 00:34:04,561 --> 00:34:05,895 What are you doing? 431 00:34:08,315 --> 00:34:09,566 I'm looking at you. 432 00:34:10,150 --> 00:34:11,693 You looked at me, dreamy. 433 00:34:12,235 --> 00:34:14,487 As if I were space. 434 00:34:14,654 --> 00:34:17,574 It always moved me, the way you look at things. 435 00:34:18,408 --> 00:34:20,702 - My way of looking at what? - Everything. 436 00:34:21,494 --> 00:34:22,829 Me, sometimes. 437 00:34:24,706 --> 00:34:27,250 My imagination intersects with these obvious facts. 438 00:34:32,255 --> 00:34:33,882 Raoul Walsh is dead. 439 00:34:34,716 --> 00:34:36,384 Raoul Walsh, master of the elements. 440 00:34:36,551 --> 00:34:39,554 The filmmaker of lightning and telluric forces. 441 00:34:57,238 --> 00:34:58,238 Kenneth White 442 00:34:58,281 --> 00:34:59,814 didn't know that he was talking 443 00:34:59,866 --> 00:35:02,577 about Raoul Walsh when he evoked this Chinese tale: 444 00:35:02,744 --> 00:35:05,664 One night, when the young man was walking in the mountains, 445 00:35:06,331 --> 00:35:07,666 he felt lightning strike him 446 00:35:07,832 --> 00:35:09,584 and he heard the thunder in his head. 447 00:35:09,693 --> 00:35:12,420 He had the impression that the mountain, the whole world, 448 00:35:12,504 --> 00:35:13,880 and he himself had disappeared. 449 00:35:14,464 --> 00:35:15,882 And this feeling lasted 450 00:35:16,257 --> 00:35:19,296 the time it takes for a dancing stick to burn up. 451 00:35:20,512 --> 00:35:21,971 Following this experience, 452 00:35:22,210 --> 00:35:25,350 the young man found himself transformed, strangely purified. 453 00:35:25,517 --> 00:35:27,352 Splashed by an inner light. 454 00:35:27,936 --> 00:35:30,855 He went to see the old man to tell him about it. 455 00:35:31,050 --> 00:35:33,050 "It's nothing at all, said the latter." 456 00:35:33,734 --> 00:35:37,277 "Here, it will happen to you so often you won't think anything of it." 457 00:35:37,350 --> 00:35:39,394 In the ancient books that speak of these things, 458 00:35:39,492 --> 00:35:41,140 we call this experience: 459 00:35:41,354 --> 00:35:42,784 "seeing the dragon". 460 00:35:44,953 --> 00:35:47,956 Raoul Walsh was both this young man and this old man. 461 00:35:49,582 --> 00:35:51,668 It's also Walsh of whom Kenneth White speaks 462 00:35:51,835 --> 00:35:53,378 when he talks about Mi Fu 463 00:35:54,003 --> 00:35:55,964 and Chan painters and poets, 464 00:35:56,339 --> 00:35:59,259 who had untied all ties, both external and internal. 465 00:35:59,968 --> 00:36:02,637 Their spirits knew the wind 466 00:36:02,804 --> 00:36:03,930 and whitewater. 467 00:36:06,683 --> 00:36:09,436 "The spirit of wind and whitewater 468 00:36:09,602 --> 00:36:12,605 Here, on my own terrace of clouds 469 00:36:13,606 --> 00:36:14,774 Dispossessed 470 00:36:15,525 --> 00:36:17,694 But entering the fire". 471 00:36:19,404 --> 00:36:21,906 Mi Fu loved wild pheasants 472 00:36:22,282 --> 00:36:24,617 but he hated domestic chickens. 473 00:36:24,784 --> 00:36:26,536 And Raoul Walsh. 474 00:36:27,704 --> 00:36:30,707 Raoul Walsh, lit by lightning, with a schoolboy's face. 475 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,836 Extreme compact luck. 476 00:36:36,421 --> 00:36:40,759 Raoul Walsh dead, it's one more cut in my life. 477 00:36:40,925 --> 00:36:43,553 Like a notch in the tree. 478 00:36:52,353 --> 00:36:54,564 And his silence is my blindness. 479 00:37:23,593 --> 00:37:26,054 Gathering my planets 480 00:37:26,429 --> 00:37:29,098 to find myself filled up by myself 481 00:37:30,975 --> 00:37:32,393 in myself. 482 00:37:38,566 --> 00:37:40,944 As if I could hear myself burst. 483 00:37:41,611 --> 00:37:44,614 Nuggets destroyed in search of their sparkle. 484 00:37:49,619 --> 00:37:51,371 And the love song 485 00:37:51,538 --> 00:37:53,832 starts over again and again. 486 00:39:18,791 --> 00:39:23,171 Fernando Pessoa and his heteronyms helped me find myself back. 487 00:39:23,546 --> 00:39:26,674 I kept coming back to passages that I compiled. 488 00:39:27,500 --> 00:39:29,667 But it seemed as if that the girls of Manila 489 00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:32,221 had taken it upon themselves to overwhelm me. 490 00:42:43,871 --> 00:42:47,166 You see, I'm your lucky line. 491 00:43:23,119 --> 00:43:26,247 Ah. Your spleen is a statue of a woman to come. 492 00:43:32,003 --> 00:43:34,422 We're the only ones left. 493 00:43:34,797 --> 00:43:36,799 And tomorrow you fly away. 494 00:43:37,425 --> 00:43:38,926 I'll be alone. 495 00:43:39,302 --> 00:43:41,528 You'll have the whole city for you. 496 00:43:42,210 --> 00:43:43,520 You'll be happy. 497 00:43:46,893 --> 00:43:49,270 You will write to me and assure me that I am. 498 00:43:49,437 --> 00:43:52,857 I'll end my letters with "with my love". 499 00:43:53,024 --> 00:43:54,275 It's friendship. 500 00:43:55,151 --> 00:43:59,822 You'll believe in true love and your heart will beat fast. 501 00:43:59,989 --> 00:44:01,824 It's already beating hard. 502 00:44:01,991 --> 00:44:03,159 We'll meet again. 503 00:44:03,284 --> 00:44:04,994 In the wide world? 504 00:44:05,161 --> 00:44:07,955 And we'll decide on all the routes. 505 00:44:08,748 --> 00:44:11,083 I'll be walking a lot when you're gone. 506 00:44:11,876 --> 00:44:15,171 You'll be traveling the whole world to find me? 507 00:44:16,005 --> 00:44:18,257 Chance wanted us to meet. 508 00:44:19,175 --> 00:44:20,676 I'll have to find you back. 509 00:44:22,470 --> 00:44:24,013 Tell me, 510 00:44:24,180 --> 00:44:26,015 young girl from Manila, 511 00:44:27,892 --> 00:44:30,269 why did you take my heart? 512 00:44:36,192 --> 00:44:37,192 Ivan 513 00:44:37,223 --> 00:44:40,470 would follow, pursue spring all over the world? 514 00:44:47,328 --> 00:44:48,412 "Woman, 515 00:44:48,788 --> 00:44:52,500 with a look that meets the softness of a trembling leaf." 516 00:44:55,044 --> 00:44:56,963 And the love song 517 00:44:57,129 --> 00:44:58,839 starts over again and again. 518 00:45:23,364 --> 00:45:26,075 You never knew how you warmed my heart, 519 00:45:26,242 --> 00:45:27,994 little flower sellers. 520 00:45:28,327 --> 00:45:30,371 And you too, little salesmen 521 00:45:30,538 --> 00:45:33,874 from whom I bought smoke puffs. 522 00:46:38,439 --> 00:46:39,982 I recall, 523 00:46:40,149 --> 00:46:42,651 watching with the discomfort of drowsiness, 524 00:46:43,027 --> 00:46:45,446 I recall what I did 525 00:46:45,613 --> 00:46:48,282 and what I could have done in my life. 526 00:46:48,449 --> 00:46:51,619 I remember and an anguish spreads through my whole being 527 00:46:51,994 --> 00:46:55,414 like a body chill, or a fear. 528 00:46:57,333 --> 00:46:59,585 But I that which wasn't, 529 00:46:59,960 --> 00:47:01,629 which I didn't, 530 00:47:02,004 --> 00:47:05,341 which, only now, I see I should have done, 531 00:47:05,508 --> 00:47:08,010 which, only now, I can see clearly 532 00:47:08,177 --> 00:47:10,304 what it should have been. 533 00:47:11,972 --> 00:47:15,226 If, at a certain moment, I had said yes instead of no 534 00:47:15,393 --> 00:47:17,686 and no instead of yes... 535 00:47:18,521 --> 00:47:22,483 If, in a certain conversation, 536 00:47:22,650 --> 00:47:26,112 I'd only said the sentences that now, 537 00:47:26,278 --> 00:47:28,656 in half-sleep, I elaborate... 538 00:47:29,031 --> 00:47:31,534 If it had all happened that way, 539 00:47:31,700 --> 00:47:34,328 I'd be different today. 540 00:47:34,495 --> 00:47:38,249 And perhaps the whole universe would be insensitively directed 541 00:47:38,416 --> 00:47:40,376 to be other, too? 542 00:48:17,204 --> 00:48:21,292 Running through you, Manila, is an art that doesn't come cheap. 543 00:48:26,088 --> 00:48:28,549 I'm a pedestrian, nothing more. 544 00:48:37,308 --> 00:48:39,435 Between life and the living, 545 00:48:40,436 --> 00:48:43,272 which way does the river flow? 546 00:48:46,025 --> 00:48:48,569 With such attention I gaze, 547 00:48:49,612 --> 00:48:52,323 so much so, that I disperse myself, 548 00:48:53,574 --> 00:48:57,203 that my every thought is enough to make me diverse. 549 00:48:58,496 --> 00:49:01,123 I break my soul in fragments, 550 00:49:01,290 --> 00:49:03,584 and into differentiated people. 551 00:49:05,294 --> 00:49:06,795 After all.., 552 00:49:07,171 --> 00:49:10,090 the best way to travel is to feel. 553 00:49:11,300 --> 00:49:12,760 Feel everything. 554 00:49:13,135 --> 00:49:15,179 In every way. 555 00:49:17,389 --> 00:49:18,807 Feel everything. 556 00:49:20,100 --> 00:49:21,352 Excessively. 557 00:49:23,771 --> 00:49:27,233 Because all things are in truth excessive. 558 00:49:28,734 --> 00:49:31,445 And all reality is excess. 559 00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:34,573 Violence. 560 00:49:36,700 --> 00:49:39,495 An extremely clear hallucination. 561 00:49:45,834 --> 00:49:48,462 Life moves with others. 562 00:50:02,451 --> 00:50:04,002 The more I disciplined myself, 563 00:50:04,069 --> 00:50:07,189 not to spend the night with women I desire, 564 00:50:07,356 --> 00:50:09,765 the more I need a girl who stays by my side 565 00:50:09,817 --> 00:50:12,194 as no more then an animal presence. 566 00:50:13,195 --> 00:50:15,531 Last night, I had Chanda over. 567 00:50:16,282 --> 00:50:18,534 I don't know what she thinks she knows about me, 568 00:50:18,659 --> 00:50:22,621 and yet, in the wee hours of the morning, we talk, together. 569 00:50:22,788 --> 00:50:24,540 Start the day. 570 00:50:26,292 --> 00:50:28,377 The more I deepen my loneliness, 571 00:50:28,544 --> 00:50:31,255 the more I need the company of people like her. 572 00:50:32,131 --> 00:50:35,426 It's only with girls that I keep away from me 573 00:50:35,593 --> 00:50:37,344 that I can investigate. 574 00:50:38,887 --> 00:50:41,640 For Chanda as for so many others, 575 00:50:41,807 --> 00:50:44,560 her only work is dealing with men. 576 00:50:44,861 --> 00:50:47,386 Like so many others, she doesn't do it for herself, 577 00:50:47,438 --> 00:50:48,856 but to support her family 578 00:50:50,149 --> 00:50:52,693 For them too, there's no other option. 579 00:50:54,236 --> 00:50:56,447 Are they also haunted by a dream, 580 00:50:56,614 --> 00:50:59,742 that I dare not doubt, for fear of cheating on her confidence? 581 00:51:03,912 --> 00:51:05,497 Let's say, Manila, 582 00:51:05,664 --> 00:51:08,751 that you're what we call an administered city. 583 00:51:14,590 --> 00:51:17,259 The civility of well- educated Manila girls, 584 00:51:17,426 --> 00:51:20,429 would almost make you believe they are your friends. 585 00:51:20,596 --> 00:51:22,222 It's very polite. 586 00:51:32,733 --> 00:51:35,694 I stay alone with the whole universe. 587 00:51:36,820 --> 00:51:38,781 I listen anxiously 588 00:51:39,448 --> 00:51:41,700 all the street noises. 589 00:51:44,286 --> 00:51:47,706 Children of future ages who will read these indignant verses, 590 00:51:47,873 --> 00:51:51,251 know that there was a time, long ago, when love.., 591 00:51:51,418 --> 00:51:54,463 tender love, was considered a crime. 592 00:51:55,923 --> 00:51:57,466 Consider my love, 593 00:51:57,633 --> 00:52:00,719 to what extent you lacked foresight. 594 00:52:00,886 --> 00:52:02,513 Unfortunate art. 595 00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:05,766 You've been betrayed by deceptive expectations. 596 00:52:14,650 --> 00:52:18,529 Irreparably from my past, here is a corpse. 597 00:52:18,696 --> 00:52:21,407 All the other corpses may have been an illusion. 598 00:53:02,948 --> 00:53:04,366 I'm not sleeping. 599 00:53:04,992 --> 00:53:07,828 What a great sleep in my whole head. 600 00:53:07,995 --> 00:53:10,414 Over my eyes and into the soul. 601 00:53:10,581 --> 00:53:13,959 What great sleep everywhere except in the ability to sleep. 602 00:53:14,918 --> 00:53:16,754 I don't sleep, I lie. 603 00:53:17,713 --> 00:53:19,840 A waking corpse endowed with sensation. 604 00:53:20,007 --> 00:53:22,301 And my feeling is an empty thought. 605 00:53:22,710 --> 00:53:24,626 I cannot read when I wake up at night, 606 00:53:24,678 --> 00:53:26,503 I can't write when I wake up at night, 607 00:53:26,555 --> 00:53:28,766 I can't think when I wake up at night. 608 00:53:29,850 --> 00:53:31,018 My god. 609 00:53:32,060 --> 00:53:34,813 I can't even dream when I wake up at night. 610 00:53:45,532 --> 00:53:49,578 It's only now that I see what I didn't say. 611 00:53:50,579 --> 00:53:54,041 What I have missed, in truth, hasn't the slightest chance. 612 00:53:55,709 --> 00:53:58,378 I bury it in my heart forever, 613 00:53:58,545 --> 00:54:00,964 in the lengths of time. 614 00:54:01,632 --> 00:54:04,468 In the plurality of universes. 615 00:54:06,804 --> 00:54:09,097 On this night when I'm not sleeping 616 00:54:09,473 --> 00:54:11,517 and sorrow surrounds me, 617 00:54:11,683 --> 00:54:14,728 as a truth in which I do not participate, 618 00:54:15,646 --> 00:54:18,065 and where the moonlight outside, 619 00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:20,901 like the hope I don't have, 620 00:54:21,068 --> 00:54:23,028 stays invisible to me. 621 00:54:26,615 --> 00:54:29,743 Several times, I tried, in vain, 622 00:54:29,910 --> 00:54:33,121 to reconstruct this inconsequential incident theatrically 623 00:54:33,497 --> 00:54:35,833 because it haunts my memory. 624 00:54:35,999 --> 00:54:38,377 This young girl on the ground, 625 00:54:38,544 --> 00:54:40,420 almost unconscious, 626 00:54:40,796 --> 00:54:44,716 I didn't know if I should help her, or how. 627 00:54:46,134 --> 00:54:50,138 Why was she in such a hurry to escape? 628 00:55:16,039 --> 00:55:17,875 In the terrible night, 629 00:55:18,667 --> 00:55:22,004 natural substance of all nights. 630 00:55:22,170 --> 00:55:23,881 In the night of insomnia, 631 00:55:24,047 --> 00:55:27,426 natural substance of all nights. 632 00:55:27,593 --> 00:55:29,887 And outside, the moonlight, 633 00:55:30,053 --> 00:55:32,514 like the hope I don't have. 634 00:55:32,681 --> 00:55:34,516 Stays invisible to me. 635 00:55:35,434 --> 00:55:36,852 Everything's going to sleep. 636 00:55:37,978 --> 00:55:39,855 I'm the only one awake. 637 00:55:40,856 --> 00:55:41,982 Me, listening, dozing, 638 00:55:42,107 --> 00:55:44,943 waiting for something to happen before I fall asleep. 639 00:55:45,861 --> 00:55:47,863 Come, morning. 640 00:55:48,030 --> 00:55:49,698 Arrive. 641 00:55:49,865 --> 00:55:51,158 Come at a loss, 642 00:55:51,533 --> 00:55:54,036 bring me another day like this one, 643 00:55:54,202 --> 00:55:57,623 followed by another night like this one. 644 00:55:57,789 --> 00:55:59,166 Sleep descends on me. 645 00:55:59,541 --> 00:56:01,752 The mental sleep that physically descends on me. 646 00:56:01,877 --> 00:56:04,671 The universal sleep that, individually, descends on me. 647 00:56:04,838 --> 00:56:07,132 It's the sleep of the sum of all disillusions. 648 00:56:07,507 --> 00:56:10,844 It's the sleep of the synthesis of all despairs. 649 00:58:37,032 --> 00:58:39,618 I had to know who she was. 650 00:59:06,812 --> 00:59:10,774 She seemed surprised to hear a foreign voice waking her up. 651 00:59:10,941 --> 00:59:13,902 And call her by her name to make an appointment. 652 00:59:14,069 --> 00:59:16,738 And dispose of her time as imperiously as possible. 653 00:59:17,114 --> 00:59:20,408 And I was hardly surprised that she accepted this appointment. 654 00:59:20,784 --> 00:59:23,870 As if she already had no other choice. 655 00:59:36,383 --> 00:59:37,717 Sometimes, 656 00:59:37,884 --> 00:59:40,428 it was hard on Ivan that having friends as lovers, 657 00:59:41,096 --> 00:59:44,141 makes impossible a return to the Land of the Calm Morning. 658 01:00:09,124 --> 01:00:11,209 She showed up on time. 659 01:00:12,377 --> 01:00:16,080 I recognized the woman I'd seen and crossed paths with the day before. 660 01:00:24,431 --> 01:00:27,267 The questions I asked didn't seem to interest her. 661 01:00:28,435 --> 01:00:32,146 She traveled extensively between Singapore, Los Angeles and Hong Kong. 662 01:00:32,814 --> 01:00:35,192 She showed no curiosity about me. 663 01:00:36,818 --> 01:00:38,803 She didn't say anything when I said: 664 01:00:38,987 --> 01:00:40,405 "I know you. 665 01:00:40,780 --> 01:00:43,241 I heard you last night." 666 01:00:43,950 --> 01:00:47,954 I would add that my nerves were still irritated, skinned alive. 667 01:00:48,997 --> 01:00:51,958 Even if my eloquence might have seemed like bullshit to her, 668 01:00:52,125 --> 01:00:53,752 I would argue I feel 669 01:00:53,919 --> 01:00:57,047 than no one else in the world desired her more intimately. 670 01:00:57,214 --> 01:00:58,965 Nobody but me, 671 01:00:59,132 --> 01:01:02,010 could reach the very depths of her intimacy. 672 01:01:03,053 --> 01:01:05,138 Yes, this dubious chance 673 01:01:05,305 --> 01:01:09,184 which had turned me into an auditory voyeur, sharpened my desire. 674 01:01:09,976 --> 01:01:12,374 It erected me in all my purity. 675 01:01:12,580 --> 01:01:14,082 At Five and the Skin. 676 01:01:14,856 --> 01:01:16,858 There, at my most flayed, 677 01:01:17,025 --> 01:01:20,862 it was intolerable that a woman can't be mine, 678 01:01:21,029 --> 01:01:22,405 be someone's. 679 01:01:23,365 --> 01:01:25,909 It was her turn to look at me. 680 01:01:26,868 --> 01:01:30,914 She could be with someone, but not belong to someone. 681 01:01:31,081 --> 01:01:32,123 No matter. 682 01:01:33,166 --> 01:01:36,169 Every woman must be available for the big debacle. 683 01:01:37,045 --> 01:01:38,505 As naive as it is devious, 684 01:01:38,880 --> 01:01:42,217 I confessed to her that I sometimes use my shyness 685 01:01:42,342 --> 01:01:46,012 as a strategy, even a double cross. 686 01:01:47,180 --> 01:01:50,225 Besides, the paleness of my voice must have told her. 687 01:01:50,350 --> 01:01:53,478 That I was gripped by the fear of losing this bet. 688 01:01:53,853 --> 01:01:55,438 It was vital for me. 689 01:01:55,814 --> 01:01:56,982 Devouring. 690 01:02:04,072 --> 01:02:07,909 Torn by fear to lose this vital bet for me. 691 01:02:08,076 --> 01:02:09,119 Devouring. 692 01:02:59,627 --> 01:03:02,047 I told her to shut up. 693 01:03:03,214 --> 01:03:06,009 Listen to your inner cry. 694 01:03:06,176 --> 01:03:10,138 Listen to your inner cry, that we're the only ones to hear it. 695 01:03:10,305 --> 01:03:14,142 Shout only within yourself. Scream only for us. 696 01:03:15,602 --> 01:03:18,063 I'm inside you listening. 697 01:03:18,229 --> 01:03:19,439 With you. 698 01:03:23,318 --> 01:03:26,196 I told her not to close her eyes. 699 01:03:28,907 --> 01:03:30,533 Through your eyes too. 700 01:03:32,160 --> 01:03:33,661 I want to know you. 701 01:03:36,164 --> 01:03:37,916 I want to see you come. 702 01:03:39,084 --> 01:03:40,418 In your eyes. 703 01:03:42,629 --> 01:03:45,548 I want you to see yourself 704 01:03:46,935 --> 01:03:50,053 shout in my eyes 705 01:04:09,614 --> 01:04:11,699 Always the scrum of screams. 706 01:04:12,075 --> 01:04:14,411 But where? Only one... 707 01:04:43,648 --> 01:04:46,401 No doubt we should have left it at that. 708 01:04:47,318 --> 01:04:49,279 Marie hadn't left. 709 01:04:51,197 --> 01:04:53,808 I'm sure that she wasn't expecting anything from me. 710 01:05:05,628 --> 01:05:08,548 I've always told you that I didn't know how to lie. 711 01:05:08,715 --> 01:05:11,551 What I'm writing to you may shock you. 712 01:05:11,718 --> 01:05:13,511 I don't know you that well, after all. 713 01:05:14,262 --> 01:05:17,474 Making love with you freed me of my fear. 714 01:05:17,640 --> 01:05:21,728 Today, I discover I'm free. And vulnerable. 715 01:05:22,520 --> 01:05:25,565 Vulnerable enough to love someone else. 716 01:06:01,543 --> 01:06:04,427 All the violence of my passions suddenly erupted again 717 01:06:04,479 --> 01:06:06,364 in the cocoon I'd made for myself. 718 01:06:08,016 --> 01:06:10,168 Instead of tearing me apart and destroying me 719 01:06:10,235 --> 01:06:11,486 like those of the past, 720 01:06:11,611 --> 01:06:14,656 this passion forced me to take a hard look at myself. 721 01:06:14,822 --> 01:06:17,367 And perhaps also to take a hard look at the world. 722 01:06:29,671 --> 01:06:32,215 My solitude was my only freedom. 723 01:06:37,804 --> 01:06:40,598 I can't remember who said: 724 01:06:40,765 --> 01:06:44,686 "And we talked about love for fear of talking about something else." 725 01:06:48,481 --> 01:06:50,525 We had made love, 726 01:06:50,650 --> 01:06:53,152 and we had nothing else to do. 727 01:07:09,210 --> 01:07:11,879 My solitude was my only freedom. 728 01:07:42,243 --> 01:07:43,703 Itinerant. 729 01:07:44,704 --> 01:07:47,790 Following a transitional route. 730 01:07:48,166 --> 01:07:51,169 I'm in transit in transitory places. 731 01:08:41,761 --> 01:08:44,681 My solitude was my only freedom. 732 01:08:44,847 --> 01:08:47,600 Marie was about to harm it. 733 01:09:19,382 --> 01:09:23,261 Need for fiction to face reality. 734 01:09:30,852 --> 01:09:34,522 It's as if the night desires to order the screams. 735 01:09:44,991 --> 01:09:47,410 I was wandering again. 736 01:09:47,577 --> 01:09:48,786 My habits. 737 01:10:10,016 --> 01:10:13,644 In Manila there is too much space for your vacant body. 738 01:10:20,860 --> 01:10:22,695 Whatever you say, 739 01:10:22,862 --> 01:10:24,489 whatever you do, 740 01:10:25,031 --> 01:10:27,742 it's for you that Marie stayed here. 741 01:10:38,711 --> 01:10:41,339 Other men will enter inside me. 742 01:10:50,723 --> 01:10:53,643 Denball, with whom I'd done a lot of traveling 743 01:10:53,810 --> 01:10:55,770 before arriving in Manila, 744 01:10:55,937 --> 01:10:58,439 always came at just the right moment. 745 01:13:22,750 --> 01:13:24,043 Trains scream, 746 01:13:24,210 --> 01:13:27,213 plunge in search of the wanderer. 747 01:13:28,130 --> 01:13:32,593 Everywhere and nowhere, I have friends and I laugh. 748 01:13:32,760 --> 01:13:34,929 The more you're alone, the merrier. 749 01:13:35,096 --> 01:13:38,557 We get drunk on words, noise and boredom. 750 01:13:38,724 --> 01:13:41,519 We're intoxicated with song and poetry. 751 01:13:42,103 --> 01:13:43,646 I laughed. 752 01:13:45,731 --> 01:13:49,235 How many Five and the Skins had we already drunk that day? 753 01:13:49,610 --> 01:13:50,945 Five and the Skin. 754 01:13:51,537 --> 01:13:52,947 The name of a Chinese wine 755 01:13:53,114 --> 01:13:56,075 that I had discovered one drunken night in Hong Kong. 756 01:13:56,242 --> 01:13:58,577 Five plus the skin, 757 01:13:58,744 --> 01:14:01,122 as translated by my Chinese friends. 758 01:14:01,288 --> 01:14:03,874 Five fragrances plus bark. 759 01:14:04,625 --> 01:14:08,087 The scent of bark in addition to the five fragrances. 760 01:14:09,130 --> 01:14:10,798 The bark. 761 01:14:11,757 --> 01:14:13,134 The skin of things, 762 01:14:13,843 --> 01:14:16,262 that secretes the five fragrances. 763 01:14:16,971 --> 01:14:20,558 So why not the five senses and skin? 764 01:14:20,725 --> 01:14:22,601 That's what I suggested. 765 01:14:23,644 --> 01:14:27,189 Because this wine will rip your five senses and your skin to shreds. 766 01:14:28,024 --> 01:14:32,278 It acts as a work of art, sobers you up more than it makes you drunk, 767 01:14:32,653 --> 01:14:34,822 brings you the essence of things 768 01:14:34,989 --> 01:14:37,658 and makes you feel the crux of what you've been through. 769 01:14:37,825 --> 01:14:39,285 Drunkenness is a fracture. 770 01:14:40,745 --> 01:14:43,914 It take distance from 'you' and brings closer to 'yourself'. 771 01:14:44,874 --> 01:14:45,916 As if, 772 01:14:46,042 --> 01:14:48,836 stripped of your protective bark, 773 01:14:49,295 --> 01:14:50,921 you implode. 774 01:15:12,860 --> 01:15:15,112 It's a rainy, dark autumn. 775 01:15:16,030 --> 01:15:19,617 In the night, obscure insects buzz. 776 01:15:19,784 --> 01:15:22,703 To prevent sleep from soothing my sorrow for a moment, 777 01:15:22,870 --> 01:15:25,247 they sing gradually closer to my bed. 778 01:15:54,735 --> 01:15:58,906 El Filibusterismo. Rizal's hero, 779 01:15:59,073 --> 01:16:02,201 Put on the screen by Gerardo Gerry de León, 780 01:16:02,368 --> 01:16:05,079 mythical hero of his films. Diego Silang, 781 01:16:05,204 --> 01:16:08,833 Moises Padilla, Padre Burgos, Sanda Wong, 782 01:16:10,292 --> 01:16:13,921 Manong Ilagan de León, old brother of León, 783 01:16:14,088 --> 01:16:17,091 whose work, although recent, has almost entirely disappeared. 784 01:16:17,258 --> 01:16:21,846 For example his film, Daigdig ng mga Api, the World of the Oppressed, 785 01:16:22,721 --> 01:16:24,730 a title that symbolizes all his films. 786 01:16:29,770 --> 01:16:30,580 Phil, 787 01:16:30,647 --> 01:16:34,333 in who I dreamed to incorporate myself, so I could stop worrying about myself. 788 01:16:34,400 --> 01:16:37,619 No longer be supported by the world, but carry the world. 789 01:16:37,695 --> 01:16:39,405 Be an arrow and a torch. 790 01:16:39,780 --> 01:16:43,033 All the while being with others, yet melt like an eagle. 791 01:16:43,200 --> 01:16:47,079 To be, as Whitman said, oneself and in the crowd. 792 01:17:36,003 --> 01:17:37,046 In the Autumn of 1980, 793 01:17:37,213 --> 01:17:39,246 standard airport safety measures 794 01:17:39,298 --> 01:17:42,009 were extended to hotels and department stores. 795 01:17:46,847 --> 01:17:51,018 Was it really fate that brought her here 796 01:17:51,185 --> 01:17:52,937 at that time? 797 01:17:55,856 --> 01:17:58,901 My solitude is my only freedom. 798 01:17:59,068 --> 01:18:00,402 Maki understands this. 799 01:18:04,406 --> 01:18:07,326 An even greater urgency 800 01:18:07,493 --> 01:18:09,787 the presence of a body 801 01:18:09,954 --> 01:18:11,789 and it's breathing. 802 01:18:56,500 --> 01:18:59,545 When a plane passes at the wrong time, 803 01:18:59,920 --> 01:19:03,382 Ivan confuses Keats and Shelley. 804 01:19:04,091 --> 01:19:05,301 At the wrong time, 805 01:19:05,467 --> 01:19:08,262 that is to say when Ivan is far away from it all, 806 01:19:08,387 --> 01:19:10,222 in space and time 807 01:19:10,389 --> 01:19:13,934 and he's afraid that his own shadow is as big as he is, 808 01:19:14,101 --> 01:19:16,103 not recorded by the tailor. 809 01:19:16,270 --> 01:19:19,231 Or that she steps on his body 810 01:19:19,398 --> 01:19:23,235 and he or she, or both stumble together. 811 01:19:23,402 --> 01:19:26,947 It happens that he confuses Keats and Shelley. 812 01:19:28,073 --> 01:19:30,492 Who chose as his epitaph 813 01:19:30,868 --> 01:19:35,247 "Here lies a man whose name was written on water"? 814 01:19:35,414 --> 01:19:38,417 Who no longer had lungs at autopsy? 815 01:19:38,584 --> 01:19:40,502 Who was cremated on a desolate coastline, 816 01:19:40,878 --> 01:19:42,504 between mountain and sea? 817 01:19:43,881 --> 01:19:47,134 With Byron towering above, 818 01:19:47,301 --> 01:19:49,178 like a badly hung picture. 819 01:19:50,095 --> 01:19:52,639 All died in disorder. 820 01:19:53,015 --> 01:19:54,391 In 1821, 821 01:19:54,558 --> 01:19:56,602 '22, '24. 822 01:19:56,977 --> 01:19:58,270 Who at 26 years old? 823 01:19:58,437 --> 01:20:01,148 Who at 30? Who at 36? 824 01:20:02,191 --> 01:20:06,153 But to whom did these dates and ages belong? 825 01:20:06,945 --> 01:20:09,990 The pieces of the puzzle were in Ivan's mind, 826 01:20:10,157 --> 01:20:11,367 charred, 827 01:20:11,533 --> 01:20:13,619 impossible to reconstruct, 828 01:20:13,994 --> 01:20:15,913 like burned bodies. 829 01:20:16,080 --> 01:20:18,248 When a supersonic fighter flies by 830 01:20:18,415 --> 01:20:20,459 at low altitude and at the wrong time, 831 01:20:21,043 --> 01:20:23,670 Ivan thinks the English poets were wrong to die 832 01:20:24,046 --> 01:20:26,090 so close to each other. 833 01:20:26,256 --> 01:20:28,634 In the same country, or almost. 834 01:20:39,978 --> 01:20:43,065 When pollution changes the body of water. 835 01:20:51,698 --> 01:20:54,201 I'm too partial to the benefits of modern life 836 01:20:54,368 --> 01:20:55,661 to be an environmentalist. 837 01:20:56,412 --> 01:20:59,998 But it makes me jump when I see the order of nature being undermined. 838 01:21:00,666 --> 01:21:04,336 Anger drove me to trample the torn-up earth, 839 01:21:04,503 --> 01:21:06,547 that's dumped into the sea to smother her. 840 01:21:06,713 --> 01:21:08,799 The same impotent rage overcame me 841 01:21:09,049 --> 01:21:11,385 when I saw a workforce lying upright, 842 01:21:11,510 --> 01:21:14,221 waiting in vain for a work visa 843 01:21:14,388 --> 01:21:18,058 or for the United dream States or happy Arabia. 844 01:21:48,755 --> 01:21:51,091 I had to get back to Tondo. 845 01:21:51,258 --> 01:21:52,718 Touched by a leprosy, 846 01:21:53,093 --> 01:21:55,429 this terrible reserve of nobodies, 847 01:21:55,554 --> 01:21:57,222 whose availability remains a threat 848 01:21:57,389 --> 01:21:59,099 for anyone who has a job. 849 01:22:03,145 --> 01:22:06,565 It felt as if they were the unsurprised witnesses of my embarrassment. 850 01:22:06,732 --> 01:22:08,771 And yet.., I envied the sort of luck 851 01:22:08,826 --> 01:22:11,997 that these children had to be confronted savagely, right away, 852 01:22:12,070 --> 01:22:14,740 second after second, to reality. 853 01:22:17,451 --> 01:22:21,205 At least they won't be sucked in, mutilated by an education 854 01:22:21,371 --> 01:22:23,290 that lies to you about life and people. 855 01:22:24,291 --> 01:22:25,334 I'd almost believe 856 01:22:25,417 --> 01:22:27,961 in the utopia that they can make their own destiny. 857 01:22:30,130 --> 01:22:33,175 As you pass by, you'll see a child smiling at you. 858 01:22:33,342 --> 01:22:36,678 Summarize for him in a smile what he's smiling at. 859 01:24:34,671 --> 01:24:36,882 You have to go all the way down to the white. 860 01:24:41,386 --> 01:24:43,336 I can't get a few lines out of my head 861 01:24:43,388 --> 01:24:46,131 of a German writer who witnessed Nazism. 862 01:24:46,225 --> 01:24:48,550 Lines that I may be confusing with those of the critic 863 01:24:48,602 --> 01:24:50,479 which reported on his book. 864 01:24:50,646 --> 01:24:52,814 Reck-Malleczewen was a wealthy doctor, 865 01:24:53,190 --> 01:24:55,400 of an aristocratic aesthetic culture 866 01:24:55,567 --> 01:24:58,612 and ironic monarchical conservatism. 867 01:24:58,737 --> 01:25:03,450 He refused to go into exile and to become an anti-Nazi from the outside. 868 01:25:03,617 --> 01:25:06,286 This was at the very moment that his friends were dying 869 01:25:06,453 --> 01:25:08,497 and his house was invaded. 870 01:25:09,247 --> 01:25:11,541 He died in Dachau after keeping a secret diary. 871 01:25:11,667 --> 01:25:13,919 That he buried in a metal box. 872 01:25:16,380 --> 01:25:20,342 "I hate you!" he wrote, inveighing against Hitler. 873 01:25:20,967 --> 01:25:23,553 "I hate you in sleep and in wakefulness, 874 01:25:23,720 --> 01:25:25,931 I hate you as a corrupter of life, 875 01:25:26,306 --> 01:25:29,643 I hate you as the sworn enemy of man's laughter." 876 01:25:30,394 --> 01:25:33,821 The sworn enemies of man's laughter, the corrupters of life. 877 01:25:34,079 --> 01:25:36,391 They are all around, these lacquered profiteers 878 01:25:36,441 --> 01:25:38,694 who claim to be the arbiters of elegance. 879 01:25:38,860 --> 01:25:41,363 These servants of this multinational system 880 01:25:41,530 --> 01:25:45,242 that rules the world, more and more openly 881 01:25:45,409 --> 01:25:48,620 Promotors of bureaucratically organized leisure. 882 01:25:48,787 --> 01:25:52,290 They suffocate and paralyse any chance of happiness 883 01:25:52,457 --> 01:25:55,752 by instituting a mediocrity of spirit, a slouching stupidity. 884 01:25:58,380 --> 01:26:00,257 An anti-Nazi from the outside. 885 01:26:01,007 --> 01:26:04,010 So terrible, it confuses me. 886 01:26:05,554 --> 01:26:06,972 From outside. 887 01:26:08,682 --> 01:26:10,642 What did I run away from? 888 01:26:11,768 --> 01:26:14,271 What am I running from? 889 01:26:14,438 --> 01:26:16,982 Me, who belongs to a country I've left. 890 01:26:18,692 --> 01:26:20,902 I'd been all around Manila. 891 01:26:21,278 --> 01:26:24,698 I didn't know if I'd been all around myself. 892 01:26:24,823 --> 01:26:29,369 And the tour of myself through what Manila could have meant for me. 893 01:26:31,371 --> 01:26:33,749 My roots had grown here 894 01:26:33,915 --> 01:26:36,001 but they were silted up. 895 01:26:39,838 --> 01:26:42,549 Putting time to good use. 896 01:26:43,925 --> 01:26:46,803 Not a day without writing in black and white. 897 01:26:48,805 --> 01:26:52,809 Since I started writing, five minutes have passed. 898 01:26:53,810 --> 01:26:57,063 Have I or have I not put them to good use? 899 01:27:02,736 --> 01:27:04,821 I have a bad head cold. 900 01:27:06,740 --> 01:27:08,940 And everyone knows how a big head cold 901 01:27:08,992 --> 01:27:11,453 alters the entire system of the universe. 902 01:27:14,915 --> 01:27:16,416 It makes you angry at life 903 01:27:16,583 --> 01:27:19,419 and make you sneeze metaphysics. 904 01:27:22,756 --> 01:27:25,759 I wasted the whole day blowing my nose. 905 01:27:27,969 --> 01:27:30,764 My head aches indiscriminately. 906 01:27:33,850 --> 01:27:35,727 I need the truth. 907 01:27:36,937 --> 01:27:38,605 And aspirin. 908 01:28:31,575 --> 01:28:33,618 In Manila, as elsewhere, 909 01:28:33,785 --> 01:28:36,746 I've met some of those good, proper middle-class women 910 01:28:37,122 --> 01:28:39,833 who thought they were proving to themselves, and to us, 911 01:28:40,125 --> 01:28:43,128 their freedom, by spreading out their licenses. 912 01:28:44,004 --> 01:28:46,506 A foreigner, and a French one at that, 913 01:28:46,673 --> 01:28:50,510 they couldn't wait to put me in their panoply. 914 01:28:51,372 --> 01:28:53,280 Since I couldn't bare to share, 915 01:28:53,411 --> 01:28:55,329 with their businessmen, 916 01:28:55,432 --> 01:28:57,976 I suggested, as the only form of love, 917 01:28:58,143 --> 01:28:59,519 sodomy. 918 01:29:00,687 --> 01:29:02,814 You'd be surprised how many accepted, 919 01:29:02,981 --> 01:29:04,774 after the usual small talk. 920 01:29:06,192 --> 01:29:07,736 It was true love, wasn't it? 921 01:29:08,987 --> 01:29:10,614 For me, it was revenge. 922 01:29:10,780 --> 01:29:13,116 Cold enjoyment. 923 01:29:18,538 --> 01:29:20,040 I am a madman 924 01:29:20,206 --> 01:29:23,793 to whom his own soul is foreign. 925 01:29:31,718 --> 01:29:34,846 My French sense of politeness and my sportiness 926 01:29:35,013 --> 01:29:37,474 could be taken for granted. 927 01:29:46,942 --> 01:29:50,028 Madame Bovary exists and I've met her. 928 01:29:51,488 --> 01:29:53,907 I didn't have the courage to shatter her illusions. 929 01:29:54,074 --> 01:29:58,161 Maybe I was also afraid my own mire, my quicksand. 930 01:30:03,833 --> 01:30:07,170 Marie's dependency, seemed like a fatality 931 01:30:08,004 --> 01:30:10,173 and that was comfortable for me. 932 01:30:19,808 --> 01:30:21,810 Besides, what's the point of all this? 933 01:30:22,519 --> 01:30:24,521 She's healing. 934 01:30:25,647 --> 01:30:28,525 Soon, in fact, she will no longer have twinges. 935 01:30:29,234 --> 01:30:31,778 Soon I'll be somewhere else. 936 01:30:32,153 --> 01:30:33,279 And far away. 937 01:30:35,031 --> 01:30:36,074 Myself. 938 01:30:38,118 --> 01:30:39,703 She's healing. 939 01:30:41,538 --> 01:30:43,039 We're healing. 940 01:31:16,322 --> 01:31:17,824 It's time to go. 941 01:31:17,991 --> 01:31:19,284 In the early morning. 942 01:31:19,951 --> 01:31:21,619 At the crowing of the rooster. 943 01:31:23,288 --> 01:31:25,665 Soon it will be the year of the rooster. 944 01:31:27,000 --> 01:31:28,168 That's a good sign. 945 01:31:28,835 --> 01:31:30,837 But what will 1981 be like? 946 01:31:34,132 --> 01:31:37,135 My friend Denkar didn't know either, 947 01:31:37,302 --> 01:31:40,055 but what he was sure of, what he asserted, 948 01:31:40,221 --> 01:31:43,224 was that I didn't need a new country. 949 01:31:44,350 --> 01:31:47,062 But to feel new. 950 01:31:47,771 --> 01:31:48,980 Renewed. 951 01:32:07,040 --> 01:32:10,043 But true travelers are only those who set off 952 01:32:10,168 --> 01:32:11,294 to leave. 952 01:32:12,305 --> 01:33:12,429 Do you want subtitles for any video? -=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=-