"Big City Greens" Short Wait/Awful Lawful

1 00:00:02,210 --> 00:00:05,921 [gasps] Look, y'all. A bunch of stuff from ancient times. 2 00:00:05,922 --> 00:00:07,173 [piano starts playing] 3 00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,300 Ah! Ghost piano! Call a priest! 4 00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:12,887 Oh, don't worry. This is just part of the town history museum. 5 00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:16,265 Only ghosts here are ghosts of the past. 6 00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:18,309 - Admission's free on Tuesdays. - [bell rings] 7 00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:21,145 [all cheering] Woo-hoo! Tuesdays! 8 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:24,482 In addition to being the town postman and the sheriff of Smalton, 9 00:00:24,483 --> 00:00:27,943 I'm also the curator of this fine collection of antiques. 10 00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:31,782 I had no idea Smalton had such a rich and vibrant history. 11 00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:35,826 [chuckles] I'm getting in on this. 12 00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,453 [humming] 13 00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:39,997 [laughs] It's churning time. 14 00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:42,333 Careful now, that's illegal. 15 00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:43,417 What now? 16 00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:45,836 Dancing while churning butter is against the law? 17 00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:48,923 That's right. Smalton has a bunch of quirky laws from long ago 18 00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:51,509 that are technically still in effect today. 19 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:54,553 For example, Old Jimmy Corker over here liked to listen to music 20 00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,263 and dance while he did farm work. 21 00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:58,265 That is, until his dancing knocked over 22 00:00:58,266 --> 00:00:59,809 an entire morning's haul of milk. 23 00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:04,271 That milk stunk up so bad in the summer heat, the whole town got sick. 24 00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:05,981 So that's why it's illegal now. 25 00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:08,317 Huh. That's a quirky law, all right. 26 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,236 And that's just the tip of the iceberg. 27 00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:11,862 Here's a list of all of them. 28 00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:13,989 It's illegal to run backwards in a pasture, 29 00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:16,575 eat a whole can of beans after 5:00 p.m., 30 00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:19,453 and it's illegal to say the word, "sarsaparilla." 31 00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:20,746 [Cricket] Wait, wait, wait. 32 00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:23,749 So if I do the hokey, I get sent to the pokey? 33 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,460 If you do it while churning butter, then yes. 34 00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:29,255 So you better watch out, or I'll arrest you. 35 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:31,340 Hmm? Okay, wrap it up, kiddo. 36 00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:33,509 You do not want to go to jail like I did. 37 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:34,802 Believe me. 38 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:36,262 You're right. You're right. 39 00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:37,805 I shouldn't say... 40 00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,265 sarsaparilla. 41 00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:40,725 Hey! Knock it off. 42 00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,518 Sarsaparilla, sarsaparilla... 43 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:45,521 Careful, I'm getting my handcuffs. 44 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,857 - Cricket, I'm serious. - [grunts] 45 00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:50,776 There's so many more laws I could break. 46 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:53,279 - Cricket Ernest Green. - What? 47 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,448 I am not raising a felon. 48 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:56,782 Hand over that list now. 49 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:59,452 [sighs] Okay. Here you go. 50 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,329 Thank you. 51 00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:04,039 Law 37. 52 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,917 It's illegal to trick a redhead on a Tuesday. 53 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,419 But today's Tuesday. 54 00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:09,420 Exactly! 55 00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:11,922 I'm gonna break every old law on this list! 56 00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,549 [Cricket laughing maniacally] 57 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,301 My boy's a criminal. 58 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,887 Well, according to the Smalton rule of law, yes, 59 00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:20,681 but they're old and silly. No harm done. 60 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,516 Don't you see, Frank? 61 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,393 These are gateway crimes. 62 00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:26,353 You saw how hyped up he was. 63 00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:28,814 It's the pure adrenaline rush of law breaking. 64 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,400 Of course, it's harmless now, but if he isn't stopped, 65 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,819 his hunger for breaking the law will only grow. 66 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:37,365 And what if he does something that that actually gets him into trouble? 67 00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,494 So, what are you in for? 68 00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:43,622 [scoffs] Everything. 69 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,082 I was just like him as a kid, 70 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,627 and I won't let him go down the same path. 71 00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:52,004 You're right. This is serious! 72 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,298 Come on, Frank. We gotta find him. 73 00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:56,926 Oh, my. What's all this? 74 00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:59,303 Are these caveman tools? 75 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:01,931 - [old man gasps] Pinkie logs? - Hmm? 76 00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,891 These are the kind of toys we played with 77 00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:05,768 when I was just a young whippersnapper. 78 00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:08,062 These are supposed to be toys? 79 00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:10,105 How could anyone have fun with this? 80 00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:12,316 I've never seen a duck look so... 81 00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:15,069 - haunted. - [sinister quacking] 82 00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:18,948 So, you young'uns think you're too good for my generation's toys? 83 00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,658 Scientifically, yes. 84 00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:24,662 The fun centers of our brains are simply too developed for such low-tech frivolities. 85 00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:26,705 We need real entertainment! 86 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,457 Oh, hog spittle. 87 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:31,544 This newfangled doohickey has nothing on the classics. 88 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:32,920 See for yourself. 89 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,798 Well, if they really are as fun as you say, 90 00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:38,551 then sure, I'll try 'em out. You in, Tilly? 91 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,344 Oh, playthings of the past. 92 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:41,929 Whisper your secrets to me. 93 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,473 I think she's in. 94 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,475 Come on, Frank. We gotta find Cricket! 95 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,851 [Cricket laughing maniacally] 96 00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:50,563 Yeehaw, breaking laws. Yeehaw, breaking laws. 97 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,480 [bell rings] 98 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:54,066 - [pants] Huh? - [Cricket] Law number eight. 99 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,986 It's illegal to crab walk in a barber shop! 100 00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:58,654 - Cricket, stop! - [bell rings] 101 00:03:58,655 --> 00:03:59,905 Wait, where'd he go? 102 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:02,116 - [Cricket] Law number 33. - [plays harmonica] 103 00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:05,911 It's illegal to play a harmonica with your armpit! 104 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,080 - [laughs maniacally] - [grunts] 105 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,833 - [groans] - [Cricket] Law number 67. 106 00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:15,170 [speaking Pig Latin] 107 00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:16,338 [laughs maniacally] 108 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,757 [in English] What do we do? We need to stop Cricket 109 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,759 before he becomes a full-fledged outlaw. 110 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,929 Yes, but we're just one sheriff and one deputy. 111 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,973 Deputy? I didn't make you deputy. 112 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:29,143 So we're gonna need some extra help. 113 00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:31,020 I decide when we need help, 114 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:34,898 but yeah, we... we need help. 115 00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:38,902 Where are the buttons? Is there a slot for batteries? 116 00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:41,655 Voice mode, activate. [grunts] 117 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:42,948 Turn on! 118 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,158 [clanking] 119 00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:46,118 [screams] Tilly, have you figured out 120 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:49,580 how to get the fun out of these things yet? 121 00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:52,583 The children of yesteryear were macabre indeed. 122 00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:55,252 I just want to understand. 123 00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:57,129 [gasps] Hold on, Remy. 124 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,715 Looks like there's still one toy left we can try. 125 00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,508 A cup with a ball? 126 00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,802 All right, we'll give it a try. 127 00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,471 [Nancy] <i>I've gathered you all here</i> 128 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,890 <i>for a very important police mission.</i> 129 00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:10,225 You each possess the skills I'm looking for. 130 00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:13,520 And also, you were in my immediate line of sight at the time. 131 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:17,400 So, I'm naming you all temporary deputies. 132 00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,985 [yelps] Oh... 133 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:23,030 That's a pin. Sharp pin in my chest. 134 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:25,032 Trey's gonna sit this one out. 135 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,660 Just so you know, even the smallest amount of authority 136 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:28,994 goes straight to Wayne's head. 137 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,705 All right, who's the scumbag we're arresting? 138 00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:33,582 That's what I like to see, Wayne. 139 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,168 Now, our target is this boy. 140 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,504 Isn't that your boy? 141 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:39,797 What did he do? 142 00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:40,799 He... [sniffs] 143 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,801 ...crab walked in a barbershop. 144 00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:46,470 - That's it? - Among other crimes. 145 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:49,473 And that won't be it, Tracy, if we let him run free. 146 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:51,266 Well, if it's that important to you, 147 00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,477 I think I saw him head into Feed & Seed. 148 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:56,772 Good eye, Patty. Now let's go hunt down my son. 149 00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:57,815 [all] Yeah! 150 00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:00,067 [grunts] All right, team. Fan out. 151 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,944 [grunting] 152 00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:03,904 - [sniffing] - Whoa! 153 00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:06,281 - Huh? - Hmm? 154 00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:08,158 I know you're here somewhere, Cricket. 155 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,827 [howling] 156 00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:11,161 [barking, howling] 157 00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:13,205 What is it, boy? [gasps] 158 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,124 He's broken law number nine. 159 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:18,043 It's illegal to build a fort out of fertilizer bags. 160 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,712 Aha! 161 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,964 What the-- Where's Cricket? 162 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:25,175 [Cricket laughing maniacally] 163 00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:28,137 [gasps] Sweet cream corn. 164 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:30,305 Law number 72. 165 00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:35,978 It's illegal to pet a chicken 100 feet above sea level. [chuckling] 166 00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,521 - [clucks] - [laughing] 167 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:40,149 I've only got one law left to break, 168 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:43,152 and I "can-non" afford to miss it. 169 00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:44,611 [laughing maniacally] 170 00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:45,696 [clucks] 171 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:46,905 "Can-non"? 172 00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:47,990 Cannon... 173 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,325 [gasps] He's gonna break Law 95. 174 00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:53,162 Eating a ham sandwich on the town cannon. 175 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,080 This is our last chance to stop him. 176 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,874 Once Cricket breaks that final law, 177 00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:59,710 there will be no turning back for him. Come on, everyone. 178 00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:01,086 To the cannon! 179 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:04,173 Do we just keep doing this till we die of boredom? 180 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,676 I don't know how people used to survive like this. 181 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,595 [gasps] 182 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,555 Well, would you look at that, by Jiminy. 183 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:14,099 Tilly, old pal, you gotta give this a whirl. 184 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:18,020 I don't really see how swinging a cup around can be fun, but... 185 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,981 [gasps] Oh, my stars and my ours. 186 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,275 It was right there in the black and white all along. 187 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:26,028 - These toys are simple. - Simple and fun. 188 00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,071 No extra baloney. 189 00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:29,865 Wait till we tell Old Saul we cracked the caper. 190 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,241 [both] Hey, old sport. 191 00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:33,410 Bunch of spawn camping cheaters. 192 00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:35,245 Me and the lad are gonna hit the town. 193 00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:36,955 Be an egg and join us, will you? 194 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,833 Gotta wreck these noobs. 195 00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:43,629 Hmm. Well, well, well. 196 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:47,049 If this ain't the perfect place to have a little snack. 197 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,718 Freeze! It's over, Cricket! 198 00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,345 Drop the hamwich! 199 00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:53,639 Hey, hey. Don't take another step. 200 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,724 I'll do it, man. I'll do it. 201 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:58,018 Easy, Cricket. Let's all just... 202 00:07:58,019 --> 00:07:59,770 - Nancy, now! - Huh? 203 00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:01,647 - [both grunting] - Give it up, Cricket! 204 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,232 - [creaking] - [Cricket] Get off of me! 205 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,858 Hand over the ham! 206 00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:08,278 [both screaming] 207 00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:11,865 - Just let me finish the list! - [thuds] 208 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:14,701 Spray happy ice-cream. 209 00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:16,161 [thunder rumbles] 210 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,287 Aw... 211 00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:19,248 [grunting] Give it back, Mom! 212 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,250 It's for your own good! 213 00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:24,211 - Whoa! [grunts] - [laughs] 214 00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:28,674 With this hamwich, I break my final law! 215 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,968 [laughs maniacally] 216 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,135 [laughs cunningly] 217 00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:33,971 Fine, do it. 218 00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:35,264 Huh? 219 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:38,141 You're going down a bad path, kiddo. 220 00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:39,768 I would know, I've been there. 221 00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:41,979 And it landed me in the slammer. 222 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:44,273 You wanna end up like me? Huh? 223 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:46,191 Then go right ahead. 224 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:49,153 Okay. Okay, Mom. I, I was just having a goof. 225 00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:52,155 If it's that important to you, I'll stop. 226 00:08:52,156 --> 00:08:54,324 Well, don't come crying to me when-- 227 00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,118 Wait. What was that last part? 228 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:58,328 I said I'll stop. 229 00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,831 You're-- you're giving up? 230 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:03,333 I never would have come quietly as a kid. 231 00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:05,252 Well, yeah, I'm not you. 232 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:06,920 I'm like, way cooler. 233 00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:08,922 There he is! Let's get him! 234 00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,717 [sighs] I did the crimes. 235 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,177 I gotta do the times. 236 00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,220 Wait, Cricket. 237 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,805 - Here. - Huh? 238 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,808 I'll hold them off as long as I can. 239 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,768 Go finish that list. 240 00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:23,770 Oh, no. Nancy switched sides! 241 00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:25,272 Well, then, let's get them both! 242 00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:26,357 Eat fast, kid. 243 00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:29,484 You stay back! 244 00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:31,862 - [grunting] - [Frank] Nancy, wait! 245 00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:32,946 [groans] 246 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,364 Wait! You're our last hope! 247 00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:35,824 - Run! - [pants] 248 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,117 No, the other way! 249 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,202 Oh, forget it. 250 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:40,871 He's gonna do it. 251 00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,164 [grunts] 252 00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:43,790 He's gonna do it! 253 00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:47,712 - [grunts] - [♪ triumphant instrumental music playing] 254 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:55,219 Yay! I finished the list! 255 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,471 - No! That's technically illegal. - That's my boy. 256 00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:59,389 I closed the diner for this? 257 00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,725 - Come on. - I can't believe it. 258 00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,977 He broke every ridiculous law. 259 00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:06,146 We got a career criminal on our hands. 260 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,481 I thought so too. 261 00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:08,732 But you know what? 262 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,360 I don't think Cricket's gonna be heading down that path. 263 00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,903 [Cricket] Here you go, Frank. 264 00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:15,405 Really? Well, all's well that ends well. 265 00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:17,407 Man, today was a blast! 266 00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:20,035 It's a bummer Remy and Tilly missed the whole thing. 267 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,495 Cricket, you and the old bear cat 268 00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:23,956 gotta join us to try these spiffy toys! 269 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,041 They're the cat's meow, the bee's kneesy, 270 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,876 the hound's tooth, the horse's snout! 271 00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:29,253 You sure know your onions, Remy! 272 00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:31,047 You know what? I'm not even gonna ask. 273 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:35,884 <i>♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪</i> 274 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:39,221 <i>♪ Lost a bet and got bit by a hundred flies ♪</i> 275 00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:42,099 <i>♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪</i> 276 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:45,435 <i>♪ Hit every branch and scraped up both my knees ♪</i> 277 00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,854 <i>♪ I got chased by dogs ♪</i> 278 00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:49,064 <i>♪ Licked by a frog ♪</i> 279 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,524 <i>♪ Got a rash on my legs ♪</i> 280 00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:53,026 <i>♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪</i> 281 00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:56,279 <i>♪ I got splinters in seven of ten ♪</i> 282 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,117 <i>♪ And tomorrow, I'll do it all again ♪</i>