"Impractical Jokers" The Endless Esophagus

1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 2 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,013 Let's just get this started. 3 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,548 Are you kidding me? 4 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:17,882 Who's a good cat? 5 00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:29,762 Today we're posing as maintenance workers 6 00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:33,298 In an office building doing repairs inside this hvac vent. 7 00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:35,767 That's right, and the temp worker will be in the adjacent room, 8 00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:37,702 And the only way we can communicate with them 9 00:00:37,904 --> 00:00:39,237 Is through a small vent in the wall. 10 00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:42,106 While "working" in the wall, we're gonna have to do 11 00:00:42,109 --> 00:00:43,442 And say whatever the other guys tell us to, 12 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,545 And if you refuse, you lose. 13 00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:53,585 Sal: Okay, so murray is in the vent. 14 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:55,320 We built this whole entire room out today, 15 00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:56,655 Which is amazing. 16 00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:57,789 Oh, oh, I hear somebody. 17 00:00:57,792 --> 00:00:59,324 Yeah, if you want to just grab a spot here. 18 00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:00,458 Sal: Here we go. 19 00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:01,726 Whatever you need. Sure. Okay. 20 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,662 All right. Thank you so much. No worries. 21 00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:11,203 Murr: I don't want to scare you. I won't be banging long, okay? 22 00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:12,270 Don't worry about me. 23 00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:13,472 oh, no worries. 24 00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,473 Yeah, sorry. We're doing hvac work. 25 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:16,808 Yeah, you know. 26 00:01:16,811 --> 00:01:18,477 Murr, at some point, I want you to introduce yourself 27 00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:22,080 And stick your finger through the vents to shake her hand. 28 00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:23,548 -What's your name? -Christine. 29 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,884 -Hi. I'm james. How are you? -I'm good. Thank you. 30 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,419 Here, here, here. Nice to meet you. 31 00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,422 Nice to -- nice to see you. Nice to see you. 32 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,593 She shook his finger. 33 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,696 All right, murr, lunch is getting delivered to you. 34 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:38,697 Surprise. 35 00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:39,898 Got an order for james? 36 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,299 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi. 37 00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:42,701 $23.92. 38 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,302 Sal: In the vent is how you're gonna pay for it. 39 00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:46,638 It's a wad of singles in there. I want you to pay one by one. 40 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,874 Uh, here you go, buddy. I got, I got... 41 00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:56,381 Yeah, just... 42 00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:58,583 $20.92. 43 00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:03,956 -Uh, 92 cents. -Okay, hold on. 44 00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:07,392 You got it? You know what? Sure. 45 00:02:08,062 --> 00:02:09,361 Hey, thanks, man. 46 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,530 Oh! Tip. 47 00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:13,798 Oh, my god. I forgot to tip the guy. 48 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,667 Christine, can you do me a favor real quick? 49 00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,602 Can you run, catch him before he gets to the elevator? 50 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,138 Here, here, here, here, here, come here, come here. 51 00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:21,940 Here. Just tip him real quick. 52 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,875 Wait, wait, I got more, I got -- give him a $5. 53 00:02:23,878 --> 00:02:25,544 Here you go, christine. 54 00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:27,079 Just give him -- there's two more. 55 00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:29,214 There's one. And then tell him I forgot. 56 00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:30,682 My apologies forgetting the tip. 57 00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:33,952 Did you catch him? Yeah. 58 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,219 Oh, thank god. 59 00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:36,554 Sal: She hates you. 60 00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,092 In a second, I just want you to go, 61 00:02:40,094 --> 00:02:41,560 "ooh! My soup!" 62 00:02:42,897 --> 00:02:44,629 Ooh! My soup! 63 00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:47,699 Well, there is a straw. It could be feasible, murray, 64 00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,501 That she could feed you your own soup 65 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:52,370 Through that vent in that straw. 66 00:02:52,572 --> 00:02:54,172 Murr: Oh, hey, christine. Could I ask a favor? 67 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,974 What? 68 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,242 Uh, could you grab the soup out of the bag for me, 69 00:02:57,444 --> 00:02:58,343 If you don't mind? 70 00:03:03,650 --> 00:03:05,784 Murr: Yeah, you can take it out. Okay, okay. 71 00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:08,052 Can you just open the lid for me real quick? 72 00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:09,654 I can't believe she's doing this. 73 00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:11,055 Oh, you're the best. 74 00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:13,392 Just guide it toward there, if you don't mind. 75 00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:16,128 mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 76 00:03:16,130 --> 00:03:18,196 Thank you<i>so</i> much, christine. 77 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,999 -He got it. He got it. -I can't believe this. 78 00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:23,535 Oh. Thank you. That hit the spot. 79 00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:25,537 Thank you, christine. 80 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:26,605 "I wish I had gotten something a little less chunky." 81 00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:30,675 Murr: In retrospect, something less chunky would have been 82 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,477 A better choice, but... 83 00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:33,946 Sal: There's an electric saw in there. 84 00:03:34,148 --> 00:03:35,747 We're gonna have you start it. 85 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:37,682 Ostensibly, you're going to pierce yourself. 86 00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:41,019 There's a blood dripper in there. 87 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,255 We want blood to just start seeping out of the vents. 88 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,361 I want to hear a yelp. You know, like, "hiiiey!" 89 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:53,765 Eeeee! 90 00:03:58,172 --> 00:04:00,238 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! 91 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:01,840 "got any napkins out there?" 92 00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:04,576 Christine, can I-I bother you to grab me a couple 93 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,311 Paper towels up there, if you don't mind? 94 00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:08,246 Ay, I got a little nick. 95 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,116 "you know, I'm in construction happens all the time, you know?" 96 00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:13,652 Start sipping the soup. Just start sipping the soup. 97 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:16,120 Let me just get a little bit more of that chili. 98 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:20,258 "oh, that's bloody good soup." 99 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,794 Oh, that's bloody good soup. 100 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,398 Getting a little hot in here. 101 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,932 It's getting a little -- oh, god. 102 00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:31,736 Oh. I'm sorry. 103 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,538 She's leaving. She's gone. She's gone. 104 00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:35,207 You know, I should really get some medical attention 105 00:04:35,209 --> 00:04:36,608 And forget the soup at this point. 106 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:42,214 You can grab a spot here. 107 00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:43,415 Make sure there are plenty. 108 00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,017 -Thank you. -Thank you, man. 109 00:04:45,219 --> 00:04:47,686 Murr: Sal, I want you to open the vent and ask this guy, 110 00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,354 "where are you from?" 111 00:04:56,230 --> 00:04:57,829 Oh, where are you from? 112 00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,297 He can't find you. 113 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,699 Oh, I'm working over here. Oh, I'm sorry, man! 114 00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,901 How you doing? Good. How you doing? 115 00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:05,369 You see me staring at the walls? 116 00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:07,305 -We're working on the hvac. -Yeah. 117 00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:08,373 Yeah. "oh, man. 118 00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:09,974 I'm supposed to look up a recipe, 119 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,376 But I can't find my phone." oh, no! 120 00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:13,645 "could you look that up for me?" 121 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,379 -I'm cooking dinner tonight. -Oh. That's good. 122 00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:16,715 But you know what? I can't even find my -- 123 00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,316 I supposed to look this recipe up. I can't even -- 124 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,984 -You can't find your cellphone? -"do you have your phone?" 125 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,720 Do you have your phone on you? Yep. 126 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,187 Can you just look up a recipe for me real quick? 127 00:05:23,389 --> 00:05:24,389 -Sure. -Thank you. 128 00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:25,857 "it is a cider-braised pot roast." 129 00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:28,460 Okay, so it's a cider-braised pot roast. 130 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:31,395 "with crispy sage-butter potatoes." 131 00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:34,266 It's a cider-braised pot roast with -- can you put "with"? 132 00:05:34,268 --> 00:05:38,470 With crispy sage-butter potatoes. 133 00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:39,737 Do you want me to click on one? 134 00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:41,606 Yeah, which one looks appetizing to you? 135 00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,541 -You like carrots? Onions? -Yeah! 136 00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:45,877 So I'm gonna go with this one right here. 137 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,279 Yes, yes, okay. Yeah. 138 00:05:47,281 --> 00:05:48,546 Murr: Go through the whole recipe. 139 00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:50,682 Okay, so 3 pounds of black angus choice chuck roast 140 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,817 Is what I gotta pick up then. 141 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,953 That's three sweet onions thinly sliced, 142 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,821 2 tablespoons of all-purpose flour, 143 00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:58,423 And then actually is this turmeric? 144 00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:01,559 2 tablespoons... 145 00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:03,027 3 garlic cloves, minced. 146 00:06:03,229 --> 00:06:04,963 Uh-oh! You broke the vent. 147 00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:06,764 Sal, blame that guy for the broken vent. 148 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,900 Oh, we gotta be careful there. We just broke the vent. 149 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,436 Half a butternut squash instead of one. 150 00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:14,438 And then kosher salt and pepper. 151 00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:16,641 It doesn't give an amount at all, so I guess I'll do it -- 152 00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:19,043 I'll do it to taste. Okay. 153 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,578 Thank you, sir. Thank you. You all right? 154 00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:21,846 -Yes, sir. Thank you. -No problem. 155 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,382 Sal, sal, hit your apple watch to call your phone. 156 00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:26,184 You know what? I have my apple watch on me. 157 00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:27,719 oh, it is! It is in there! 158 00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:30,254 -Yeah, it's here. I see it. -Oh! 159 00:06:30,256 --> 00:06:31,923 Thank you so much. Thank you so, so much. 160 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:35,660 Oh, sal, only another vent to lay before you go to thailand. 161 00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,529 Getting ready to take a trip to thailand. 162 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:38,796 -You going to thailand? -Yeah. 163 00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:40,732 -Wow. -It's to help your wife out. 164 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,200 I'm going to help out my wife. 165 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,267 -Oh. She's there? -Yeah. 166 00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:44,336 Okay. You'll get there, man. 167 00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:46,738 Now, buddy, uh, on your phone, 168 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,473 We loaded some audio. Hit play. 169 00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:50,675 Female voice: <i>Where is the bathroom?</i> 170 00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:53,277 Sal: I'm trying to learn, like, um... 171 00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:55,947 Speak the language a little bit. Yeah, know the basics. 172 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:58,416 <i>I'm looking for my wife.</i> <i>She's missing.</i> 173 00:07:04,358 --> 00:07:05,757 <i>I have a gun.</i> 174 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,695 <i>No, thank you.</i> <i>That food looks nasty.</i> 175 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,034 "hey, you piece of shit." then say, "I have a gun." 176 00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:18,502 hey, you piece of shit. 177 00:07:20,174 --> 00:07:23,575 Unhand my wife. 178 00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:25,109 This is your last chance. <i>Where is the bathroom?</i> 179 00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:27,245 Where is the bathroom? I have a gun. 180 00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,784 You gotta call the police. 181 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,919 Sal, do me a favor. Stick your nose through the vents. 182 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,588 Get it out there. Take a big sniff. 183 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,990 what is that? Ooh! That's a... 184 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:40,191 Smell the hershey's kisses? 185 00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:41,259 "no, it smells awful. 186 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,794 What is that, a wet dog or something?" 187 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:45,263 It smells -- it's... 188 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,735 Yeah! I smell the hershey from here. 189 00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:52,470 Yeah, the hershey kisses. 190 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,674 q: Oh, buddy. All that to lose at that? 191 00:07:57,143 --> 00:08:00,011 Murr: All right, q-bert. 192 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,413 Hey, just to let you know, I'm still in here. 193 00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,681 Just doing some hvac stuff in the building. 194 00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:05,217 Gotcha. Okay. I'm brian, by the way. 195 00:08:05,419 --> 00:08:06,550 I'm christine. Hi, christine. 196 00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:07,752 How are you? Nice to meet you. 197 00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:08,820 "I tell you what, I feel like the good guy 198 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,088 In that movie 'die hard.'" 199 00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,756 It's funny crawling around in the vents. 200 00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:13,558 I feel like I'm the good guy in that movie. 201 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,560 Do you ever see "die hard"? Yeah. 202 00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,361 "whoop-de-do, mother" 203 00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:19,297 Whoop-de-do, mother 204 00:08:21,435 --> 00:08:23,034 Say, uh, "you want to hear a secret?" 205 00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:24,702 You want to hear a secret? 206 00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:26,370 Sure. I love secrets. 207 00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:28,640 Close the vent. "I'm not telling you." 208 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:31,575 I'm not telling you. 209 00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,178 Just start playing like a kid. 210 00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,213 Come in. 211 00:08:37,451 --> 00:08:39,050 Are you still interested in hearing that secret? 212 00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:40,718 Yes. Slam it! 213 00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:48,593 Q, stick your middle finger through. 214 00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:56,401 -Hey, christine. -Yeah. 215 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,874 Q, do two middle fingers and then whip 'em back out. 216 00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:08,012 -Hey, christine. -Yep. 217 00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:13,617 Sal: Ask her for a pen. And then when she -- 218 00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,487 When she hands it to you, go, "mine, mine. 219 00:09:15,489 --> 00:09:17,955 My treasure, my treasure." 220 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,090 All joking aside, is there a pen out there? 221 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,291 Do you see a pen? Yeah, I have a pen. 222 00:09:20,294 --> 00:09:21,625 Oh, can I just... 223 00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:22,760 Murr: Oh, she's grabbing her own pen! 224 00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:24,762 Thank you. I gotta make a note on the... 225 00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:27,365 Thank you. Mine! 226 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,833 My treasures! 227 00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:31,169 You literally are like a 12-year-old boy. 228 00:09:33,507 --> 00:09:35,439 This is my treasure now. 229 00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:39,043 ♪ I'll never give it back ♪ 230 00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:40,178 She's taking a video of you. 231 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,180 ♪ this pen's mine forever ♪ 232 00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:44,182 ♪ treasures in the vent belong to me ♪ 233 00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,450 Stick your middle finger through and pull it out again. 234 00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:50,855 Take it out! 235 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,260 Sal: You should try to squeeze out of there. 236 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,796 Yeah, buddy, your shift's over. Get out of the vent. 237 00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:00,332 All right, hold on a second. 238 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,269 Oh, my god. 239 00:10:11,247 --> 00:10:14,048 Yeah, buddy, your shift's over. Get out of the vent. 240 00:10:14,250 --> 00:10:15,583 All right, hold on a second. 241 00:10:18,721 --> 00:10:20,254 Oh, my god. 242 00:10:24,260 --> 00:10:26,127 Well, now you have to fix it. 243 00:10:29,666 --> 00:10:32,400 Murr: Oh, no! Oh, no! 244 00:10:34,537 --> 00:10:36,804 You just look at her and go, "pew-pew" and shoot her with a gun. 245 00:10:36,807 --> 00:10:38,673 Pew-pew! 246 00:10:41,077 --> 00:10:43,477 Narrator: Sal couldn't prevent failure, 247 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:46,214 So he's first on the loser board. 248 00:10:46,216 --> 00:10:48,683 Today we are at tompkins square bagels taking orders. 249 00:10:48,685 --> 00:10:50,351 When the order is ready, 250 00:10:50,353 --> 00:10:51,952 We'll call out the name on the ticket, 251 00:10:51,954 --> 00:10:54,022 Except we won't be calling out the name the customer gave, 252 00:10:54,224 --> 00:10:55,824 Because the name or description we're calling out 253 00:10:56,026 --> 00:10:57,425 Has been written by the other guys. 254 00:10:57,627 --> 00:10:59,627 So then we'll have to ask the customer, "so who are you?" 255 00:10:59,829 --> 00:11:02,030 And if they don't repeat back that ridiculous nickname, 256 00:11:02,232 --> 00:11:03,298 You lose. 257 00:11:06,168 --> 00:11:07,168 All right, sal. 258 00:11:07,370 --> 00:11:08,236 Ooh, this is wild. 259 00:11:08,438 --> 00:11:09,904 It's crazy out there, right? 260 00:11:09,906 --> 00:11:11,506 Let's see how badly 261 00:11:11,708 --> 00:11:13,174 One of the workers doesn't want to be bothered. 262 00:11:13,376 --> 00:11:14,842 Okay? Okay. 263 00:11:14,845 --> 00:11:16,845 Hello? Hello? 264 00:11:17,047 --> 00:11:18,847 Oh, yeah, sure. It's for you. 265 00:11:20,116 --> 00:11:21,982 Oh, okay. Murr: He's busy! 266 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:24,985 -All right, buddy. -All right. 267 00:11:25,187 --> 00:11:26,254 The woman there with the headphones in. 268 00:11:26,256 --> 00:11:28,056 Do you see her? Okay. 269 00:11:28,058 --> 00:11:29,590 We got a good one. 270 00:11:33,996 --> 00:11:36,698 -It's gotta be her, right? -Yeah, it's the only one. 271 00:11:38,601 --> 00:11:39,734 Oh, me. 272 00:11:41,872 --> 00:11:43,604 She's not gonna say this is her. 273 00:11:43,806 --> 00:11:46,140 Um... 274 00:11:48,879 --> 00:11:51,079 Ra-- 275 00:11:51,281 --> 00:11:53,281 Racially ambiguous baddie? 276 00:11:54,885 --> 00:11:56,150 Oh, it<i>must</i> be her. 277 00:11:56,352 --> 00:11:59,353 Uh, order for racially ambiguous baddie? 278 00:11:59,555 --> 00:12:02,222 Blueberry bagel? 279 00:12:05,161 --> 00:12:07,828 Racially ambiguous baddie? 280 00:12:07,830 --> 00:12:09,931 So you are racially ambiguous baddie? 281 00:12:11,167 --> 00:12:13,901 She's gotta say it. Who are you? 282 00:12:13,904 --> 00:12:17,238 I have racially ambiguous baddie. 283 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:18,540 So you are... 284 00:12:19,709 --> 00:12:22,176 thank you. 285 00:12:22,378 --> 00:12:25,379 Man, I got anxiety. 286 00:12:25,381 --> 00:12:27,848 So, sal, we're gonna have you do this guy with the beanie. 287 00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:30,118 -Okay. -All right, buddy. 288 00:12:32,522 --> 00:12:34,188 A classic, a classic. Uh-huh. 289 00:12:34,390 --> 00:12:35,323 Bringin' it back. 290 00:12:35,325 --> 00:12:36,791 Ugh. 291 00:12:36,993 --> 00:12:39,460 Uh, order for dis bitch gots a hat on. 292 00:12:41,131 --> 00:12:43,264 Ooh, he's stone-faced. 293 00:12:43,466 --> 00:12:46,867 Order for dis bitch gots a hat on. 294 00:12:47,069 --> 00:12:48,202 he's laughing, he's laughing. 295 00:12:48,204 --> 00:12:50,338 "do any bitches got a hat on?" 296 00:12:50,340 --> 00:12:53,874 A plain toasted egg. Dis bitch gots a hat on. 297 00:12:56,412 --> 00:12:58,412 -Sir? -I have a toasted bagel and egg. 298 00:12:58,414 --> 00:12:59,347 -Is this you? -Yeah. 299 00:12:59,549 --> 00:13:01,482 Okay, so you are... Josh. 300 00:13:01,684 --> 00:13:03,617 But this is for dis bitch gots a hat on. 301 00:13:03,620 --> 00:13:05,219 -I guess, yeah, that's me. -So you are... 302 00:13:05,421 --> 00:13:06,621 Dis bitch got a hat on. 303 00:13:06,823 --> 00:13:09,023 Yeah. Thank you. 304 00:13:10,493 --> 00:13:12,327 Good job, buddy. 305 00:13:13,696 --> 00:13:15,163 -Here we go. -All right. 306 00:13:15,365 --> 00:13:17,498 Sal: Okay, babe. It's the blue-haired lady 307 00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:18,966 Right to your left there, right at the counter. 308 00:13:18,969 --> 00:13:20,134 Murr: okay. 309 00:13:24,574 --> 00:13:26,174 Are you gonna be able to pull this one off? 310 00:13:26,176 --> 00:13:29,443 I think so. Yeah? 311 00:13:29,445 --> 00:13:31,712 Order up. 312 00:13:31,914 --> 00:13:33,447 oh, his voice is cracking. 313 00:13:33,649 --> 00:13:36,450 Order up for, uh, if a wizard turned a mop into a person. 314 00:13:39,321 --> 00:13:42,857 Order up for if a wizard turned a mop into a person. 315 00:13:44,927 --> 00:13:46,594 "gandalf? Dumbledore?" 316 00:13:46,796 --> 00:13:49,998 Dumbledore, gandalf saw a mop -- inanimate -- 317 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:54,068 Turns it, using his wiles, into a human being. 318 00:13:54,070 --> 00:13:57,205 his wiles! Using his wiles! 319 00:13:57,407 --> 00:13:59,207 Whose order is that? It's a pizza bagel. 320 00:13:59,409 --> 00:14:01,876 I ordered a pizza bagel, so I guess I'm the mop. You ordered a pizza bagel? 321 00:14:04,014 --> 00:14:05,346 So you must be... 322 00:14:05,548 --> 00:14:07,281 A wizard who turned a mop into a person? 323 00:14:07,283 --> 00:14:08,883 Got it, got it. You're the -- okay. 324 00:14:08,885 --> 00:14:10,551 That's for you, then. There you go. 325 00:14:10,553 --> 00:14:12,953 She's not the wizard. She's the mop. 326 00:14:13,155 --> 00:14:14,755 Just to be clear, though, you wouldn't be the wizard. 327 00:14:14,957 --> 00:14:15,956 You would be... The mop. 328 00:14:15,958 --> 00:14:16,957 ...The mop. Yeah. 329 00:14:16,959 --> 00:14:17,958 Not the wizard. 330 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:19,560 Wow, murray! She's awesome. 331 00:14:19,762 --> 00:14:20,961 Geez! She's so fun. 332 00:14:22,232 --> 00:14:23,898 All right, murr, we're gonna give you another one. 333 00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:26,567 Okay. We're not gonna tell you who it's for. 334 00:14:26,769 --> 00:14:28,836 okay. Okay. And I don't know who it's for? 335 00:14:29,038 --> 00:14:31,505 You just gotta pull it out and start reading it. 336 00:14:31,507 --> 00:14:33,574 Okay. Okay. 337 00:14:33,576 --> 00:14:37,445 Order for featureless white overly confident cable persona 338 00:14:37,647 --> 00:14:40,715 Foot-steppin' farmer-faking, 339 00:14:40,917 --> 00:14:42,850 Soup-slurpin', fake-teeth-havin', 340 00:14:43,052 --> 00:14:44,985 Lily-white mother, 341 00:14:44,987 --> 00:14:47,988 Threaded eyebrows that only serve to highlight the emptiness 342 00:14:47,990 --> 00:14:50,190 Behind his phony man's eyes. 343 00:14:50,192 --> 00:14:52,059 Oh, it's<i>my</i> bagel. 344 00:14:54,396 --> 00:14:55,863 I'm on break, bitches. 345 00:14:59,201 --> 00:15:00,400 This is gonna be something. 346 00:15:00,403 --> 00:15:02,270 it's gonna be something. 347 00:15:02,272 --> 00:15:04,538 Sal: Q, you see the blond girl with the brown jacket? 348 00:15:04,740 --> 00:15:07,007 -I do. -Her food is ready. 349 00:15:09,479 --> 00:15:11,145 Diz-- 350 00:15:11,147 --> 00:15:13,080 Uh, the dizzy dame? 351 00:15:14,617 --> 00:15:16,216 An order for the dizzy dame? 352 00:15:16,418 --> 00:15:18,552 You dizzy dame? No. 353 00:15:18,754 --> 00:15:19,753 What's that say? 354 00:15:19,756 --> 00:15:22,623 It says chicken salad and onion. 355 00:15:22,825 --> 00:15:24,358 Yeah, it's my order. The chicken salad. 356 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:25,559 So you are...? 357 00:15:25,761 --> 00:15:26,827 Ellie. 358 00:15:27,029 --> 00:15:28,228 Eh, that's not what I have here. 359 00:15:28,430 --> 00:15:30,364 I have, uh, the dizzy dame. 360 00:15:30,366 --> 00:15:31,899 Is that you? No. 361 00:15:31,901 --> 00:15:32,900 Murr: She's gotta say it. 362 00:15:33,102 --> 00:15:34,568 -But this is your order? -Yeah. 363 00:15:34,570 --> 00:15:36,036 -So you are... -You are... 364 00:15:36,038 --> 00:15:37,305 So you are... 365 00:15:37,507 --> 00:15:38,639 Dizzy dame. 366 00:15:38,641 --> 00:15:40,374 -Oh! -There it is. 367 00:15:40,376 --> 00:15:43,177 Oh, there it is, there it is. Ellie. I got you right there. 368 00:15:43,179 --> 00:15:45,780 -Okay. -Nice, bud. You got one. 369 00:15:45,982 --> 00:15:48,316 Murr: All right, q, it's the gentleman with the brown jacket 370 00:15:48,318 --> 00:15:49,449 And the satchel over his chest. 371 00:15:49,452 --> 00:15:50,918 Indiana jones? 372 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:54,388 Here we go. There's his food. 373 00:15:54,390 --> 00:15:55,656 Dud muffin. 374 00:15:57,259 --> 00:15:59,527 I got a bagel for dud muffin? 375 00:15:59,729 --> 00:16:02,196 he's like, "it's not me. I ain't no dud." 376 00:16:02,398 --> 00:16:03,797 That's dud muffin? 377 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,265 he said no. 378 00:16:05,267 --> 00:16:07,735 What did you order? 379 00:16:07,737 --> 00:16:09,069 Yeah. Bacon, egg and cheese. Right. 380 00:16:09,071 --> 00:16:11,139 That's it. That's you. It says dud muffin. 381 00:16:11,341 --> 00:16:12,272 -Chris? -No, no, no. 382 00:16:12,474 --> 00:16:14,074 That's the name -- dud muffin. 383 00:16:14,076 --> 00:16:15,275 Okay. My name's chris. 384 00:16:15,277 --> 00:16:16,276 -This is your order? -Yeah. 385 00:16:16,278 --> 00:16:17,812 So you must be...? 386 00:16:18,014 --> 00:16:19,947 -Dud muffin? -There you go. 387 00:16:20,149 --> 00:16:21,281 We got through that together, buddy. 388 00:16:21,483 --> 00:16:23,283 Here you go, chris. There's your receipt. 389 00:16:23,485 --> 00:16:26,620 he did not want to admit he's dud muffin. 390 00:16:26,622 --> 00:16:29,890 Good job, buddy. We got the next one. 391 00:16:30,092 --> 00:16:32,026 Oh, boy. This guy, the bald guy. 392 00:16:32,228 --> 00:16:33,627 Yeah, I see him. 393 00:16:33,829 --> 00:16:35,896 All right, buddy, what do you got? 394 00:16:43,506 --> 00:16:45,306 Murr: All right, buddy, what do you got? 395 00:16:45,508 --> 00:16:48,175 it's gotta be this guy, right? 396 00:16:48,177 --> 00:16:49,510 I-I can't say this. 397 00:16:49,512 --> 00:16:50,711 Yes, you can. 398 00:16:50,713 --> 00:16:52,847 Uh... 399 00:16:52,849 --> 00:16:54,448 Is that eight bagels and two cream cheese? 400 00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:56,717 Yeah, it's for the fresh prince of no hair? 401 00:16:56,719 --> 00:16:58,986 That can't be you. what? 402 00:16:59,188 --> 00:17:01,255 It says the fresh prince of no hair. 403 00:17:01,257 --> 00:17:02,989 No. That's him. He's with me. 404 00:17:02,992 --> 00:17:05,326 -Ha! -He's waving. He just waved, q. 405 00:17:05,528 --> 00:17:07,394 Fresh prince of no hair? That's him? 406 00:17:07,396 --> 00:17:09,263 It says fresh prince of no hair. This is your order? 407 00:17:09,465 --> 00:17:10,998 This is our order, yeah. 408 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:12,599 So you are...? 409 00:17:12,801 --> 00:17:14,401 The fresh prince of no hair, I guess. 410 00:17:14,603 --> 00:17:16,270 There you go, my friend. 411 00:17:22,144 --> 00:17:24,344 Narrator: Looks like sal made a name for himself 412 00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:27,948 As tonight's big loser. 413 00:17:27,950 --> 00:17:30,217 Hey, sal lost! That's right, buddy, 414 00:17:30,219 --> 00:17:31,952 Which is why we're here at the slipper room, 415 00:17:32,154 --> 00:17:34,288 Where a crowd of people cannot wait to see you perform. 416 00:17:34,290 --> 00:17:38,292 Yes. Now, we hired a very, very talented sword swallower. 417 00:17:38,494 --> 00:17:40,761 And you will also be doing that. 418 00:17:40,963 --> 00:17:42,629 Okay. 419 00:17:42,831 --> 00:17:44,565 But not just swords. All types of stuff. 420 00:17:44,767 --> 00:17:47,434 That's it. We went real simple on this one, buddy. 421 00:17:47,436 --> 00:17:48,903 You're just gonna be making me gag 422 00:17:48,905 --> 00:17:50,704 On large items all night long. 423 00:17:53,576 --> 00:17:54,709 Murr: This idea is very simple. 424 00:17:54,911 --> 00:17:56,643 Just make sal choke. 425 00:17:56,645 --> 00:17:57,778 Here we go, buddy. You're up. 426 00:17:57,780 --> 00:17:59,046 Sal: Oh, my god. me. 427 00:18:01,650 --> 00:18:03,584 We put everything that we want you to say 428 00:18:03,586 --> 00:18:05,652 On a teleprompter at the back of the theater. 429 00:18:05,854 --> 00:18:08,655 So all you got to do is worry about swallowing swords. Yeah. 430 00:18:11,994 --> 00:18:15,796 There he is. Look at how handsome he is. 431 00:18:15,798 --> 00:18:17,531 So sal's partner in crime is gin minsky. 432 00:18:17,733 --> 00:18:19,199 She's the professional tonight. 433 00:18:19,201 --> 00:18:20,867 She actually knows what she's doing. Yeah. 434 00:18:21,069 --> 00:18:23,337 Good eve, my brothers and sisters. 435 00:18:23,339 --> 00:18:27,274 Thank you so much for joining us on this beautiful spring night. 436 00:18:27,476 --> 00:18:30,277 We are a real brother-and-sister duo. 437 00:18:30,279 --> 00:18:33,013 This is gin and I, eduardo, 438 00:18:33,215 --> 00:18:36,016 And we are about to take our bodies to the limit. 439 00:18:38,154 --> 00:18:40,421 You know, as much as I love gin, 440 00:18:40,623 --> 00:18:44,424 I especially love a gin martini. 441 00:18:44,427 --> 00:18:46,560 Ah, cherry. 442 00:18:46,762 --> 00:18:49,296 Bottoms up. Cherries down. 443 00:18:49,498 --> 00:18:50,965 All right, here we go. 444 00:18:51,167 --> 00:18:52,699 Oh, boy. 445 00:18:52,701 --> 00:18:55,636 Oh, my god! Oh, my god! 446 00:18:55,638 --> 00:18:57,904 -Oh, my god! -Jesus! 447 00:19:00,376 --> 00:19:03,377 Oh, my god. 448 00:19:03,379 --> 00:19:05,846 Oh! Murr: No! 449 00:19:06,048 --> 00:19:07,648 How'd you do that?! 450 00:19:07,850 --> 00:19:10,451 All right, sal, your turn. 451 00:19:10,653 --> 00:19:12,787 Oh, my god. Really, guys? 452 00:19:12,989 --> 00:19:15,389 -Yeah. -Okay. 453 00:19:15,391 --> 00:19:18,059 here we go. Sally, just get that cherry. 454 00:19:20,262 --> 00:19:23,798 there you go, sal. It's a katana blade. 455 00:19:24,667 --> 00:19:25,800 Yeah, that'll help. 456 00:19:26,002 --> 00:19:28,134 Yeah. That's it. Lube it up. 457 00:19:28,137 --> 00:19:31,271 Oh, my god, sal. Oh, my god! 458 00:19:31,473 --> 00:19:33,007 It's not gonna -- be careful. 459 00:19:33,209 --> 00:19:35,076 Don't cut yourself. Don't cut your uvula. 460 00:19:45,621 --> 00:19:50,156 It's so dumb. It's so stupid. 461 00:19:50,426 --> 00:19:52,959 Come on. Be a little showman about it. 462 00:19:52,961 --> 00:19:54,561 Yeah. There you go. There you go. 463 00:19:54,563 --> 00:19:56,497 Play to the audience. 464 00:19:56,699 --> 00:19:58,499 oh, my god, dude. Oh. 465 00:19:58,701 --> 00:19:59,566 Woman: Oh, my god. 466 00:20:01,237 --> 00:20:03,637 Murr: yeah! 467 00:20:06,308 --> 00:20:08,508 All right. You're not done, buddy. 468 00:20:08,511 --> 00:20:10,444 can't stand it. Dude! That is... 469 00:20:10,646 --> 00:20:13,513 It hurts so bad. The sword hurts so bad. 470 00:20:13,516 --> 00:20:14,849 We got the easy one out of the way. 471 00:20:15,051 --> 00:20:16,650 Act two is where it really gets hard. 472 00:20:16,652 --> 00:20:19,653 The katana was easy? The katana blade? 473 00:20:19,855 --> 00:20:23,257 Yeah! All right, sal, act two! 474 00:20:23,259 --> 00:20:25,059 Act two. 475 00:20:25,061 --> 00:20:26,126 How are we all enjoying tonight's show? 476 00:20:28,997 --> 00:20:30,931 What? Who's that in the audience? 477 00:20:38,181 --> 00:20:40,248 Oh, who's that in the audience? 478 00:20:42,785 --> 00:20:44,319 My father's here? 479 00:20:46,523 --> 00:20:48,323 Murr: He comes to these shows all the time, yeah. 480 00:20:48,525 --> 00:20:49,990 Hey, dad. How you doing out there? 481 00:20:49,993 --> 00:20:51,192 Enjoying the show? 482 00:20:51,194 --> 00:20:52,593 Good, good. 483 00:20:52,795 --> 00:20:54,529 Love to have you back here on "impractical jokers." 484 00:20:54,531 --> 00:20:58,199 Give you another opportunity to be proud of your son. 485 00:20:58,201 --> 00:20:59,934 That's -- that's my son. 486 00:21:00,937 --> 00:21:02,603 Murr: The woman on fire! 487 00:21:02,805 --> 00:21:07,408 And now I swallow this wrought-iron pipe. 488 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,480 All right. Make your dad proud, sal. 489 00:21:13,884 --> 00:21:15,684 Holy... 490 00:21:15,886 --> 00:21:18,019 Oh. It's, like, got ridges. 491 00:21:18,221 --> 00:21:20,555 Oh, it's taller than him. 492 00:21:20,557 --> 00:21:22,023 Here we go. 493 00:21:37,708 --> 00:21:39,173 I'm not proud. 494 00:21:41,444 --> 00:21:43,844 After you've swallowed a sword, 495 00:21:43,846 --> 00:21:47,515 The only place to go... Is a saber. 496 00:21:47,717 --> 00:21:49,450 This isn't gonna go well. 497 00:21:51,788 --> 00:21:52,787 Murr: Turn it on. 498 00:21:52,989 --> 00:21:55,656 I want to see the light in your belly. 499 00:21:55,658 --> 00:21:57,858 From dusk comes dawn. 500 00:21:57,860 --> 00:21:59,994 From darkness comes light. 501 00:22:00,196 --> 00:22:02,463 Let's swallow our sabers 502 00:22:02,465 --> 00:22:05,533 And light up the night. 503 00:22:08,138 --> 00:22:10,671 Oh, my god! 504 00:22:10,873 --> 00:22:13,942 As a wise green man once said, 505 00:22:14,144 --> 00:22:16,611 "do or do not. 506 00:22:16,613 --> 00:22:18,613 There is no try." 507 00:22:24,755 --> 00:22:26,487 I generally can do this. 508 00:22:26,489 --> 00:22:28,156 Why would you promise that? 509 00:22:34,430 --> 00:22:35,764 [ scattered cheers and applause ] 510 00:22:35,966 --> 00:22:39,300 I wonder what's next, sal. I wonder what's next. 511 00:22:39,702 --> 00:22:41,770 We're going to do something different, 512 00:22:41,972 --> 00:22:44,038 And I think we're going to see if someone in the audience 513 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,374 Has something that you can swallow. 514 00:22:46,576 --> 00:22:47,508 I do. 515 00:22:51,047 --> 00:22:52,580 Murr: Yeah! All right! 516 00:22:52,782 --> 00:22:53,914 Hello, sir. 517 00:22:53,916 --> 00:22:55,784 Oh. I happen to have these sausages. 518 00:23:02,793 --> 00:23:06,460 Sal sr., say, "go ahead. Swallow that sausage." 519 00:23:06,463 --> 00:23:08,596 The feast of the seven -- go ahead. Swallow that sausage. 520 00:23:08,798 --> 00:23:11,866 The feast of the seven sausages. 521 00:23:19,141 --> 00:23:20,408 What even... 522 00:23:22,879 --> 00:23:24,679 That was three. That's a thick one. 523 00:23:27,684 --> 00:23:29,017 Hungarian kielbasa. 524 00:23:36,959 --> 00:23:39,093 Polish! 525 00:23:41,564 --> 00:23:43,231 What is this punishment?! 526 00:23:43,233 --> 00:23:44,499 Let's do it! 527 00:23:54,310 --> 00:23:56,711 All right, sal! Yeah! 528 00:23:56,913 --> 00:23:58,913 And his esophagus, ladies and gentlemen. 529 00:23:59,115 --> 00:24:01,582 There you go, buddy. That was terrible. 530 00:24:01,584 --> 00:24:03,417 I really hurt my throat with that katana blade. 531 00:24:04,305 --> 00:25:04,357