"Impractical Jokers" Facial Awareness

1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 2 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,013 Let's just get this started. 3 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,548 Are you kidding me? 4 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:17,882 Who's a good cat? 5 00:00:27,894 --> 00:00:29,762 Today we're at brewery recording studio 6 00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:31,964 Posing as voiceover artists recording audio 7 00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:33,498 For a brand-new video game. 8 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,834 But there is no brand-new video game 9 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,302 Because it's all just a big charade 10 00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:39,371 To pair us with another voiceover actor. 11 00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:40,705 The goal is to do and say 12 00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:41,906 Whatever the other guys tell you to. 13 00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:43,642 If you refuse, you lose. 14 00:00:45,446 --> 00:00:48,580 You play piping hot jazz? Yes. 15 00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:52,851 Here we go. 16 00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:54,653 Murr: Sal is a voiceover artist. 17 00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,855 He does special effects, sound effects, what have you. 18 00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:59,057 And joe imburgio is playing the sound engineer. 19 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,258 You guys can hear me alright? 20 00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:01,793 Yes, can hear you. 21 00:01:01,796 --> 00:01:02,795 Uh, sal. We're going to have you do -- 22 00:01:02,997 --> 00:01:04,329 Let's try 31. 23 00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:05,330 You're going to do those directions, 24 00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:06,632 You know, as a cholo. 25 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,437 extra, extra. Read all about it. 26 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:17,209 No. More cholo. 27 00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:19,411 Do everything super cholo. 28 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,681 hey! You're awesome! 29 00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,549 Keep going, hey! 30 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,284 Sassy woman to cholo. 31 00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:29,354 How do you feel about doing a sassy woman to cholo? 32 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,693 ew, dude! With your cousin?! 33 00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,361 that's gross! 34 00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:39,698 One more. 35 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:42,034 come on now, sugar pie. You ain't just good. 36 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:44,636 You is spectacular! 37 00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:47,906 Okay, let's take it from tavern night. 38 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,774 Yeah. 39 00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:51,643 Go from sassy to cholo in stage directions. 40 00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:56,648 Ooh! Ah! Get it out, get it out! Stop moving! 41 00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:58,717 npc jams an enchanted scalpel 42 00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:00,318 Into npc one's belly. 43 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,255 Npc one dies violently. 44 00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:07,659 I love it. 45 00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:09,661 Sal, would you mind doing a death noise for us real quick? 46 00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:12,130 We do need, like, a male death sound. 47 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,932 This is an action game. You've been shot by an arrow. 48 00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,333 Okay. 49 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,747 Sal, just stop grabbing random props off the table 50 00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:30,749 And using them in your death scene. 51 00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:53,305 Ohh! 52 00:02:55,910 --> 00:02:58,443 I don't know, guys, I'm so sorry. I don't feel comfortable. 53 00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,712 imburgio: That was really great. 54 00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,314 Thank you. You committed. 55 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,316 I got to say, we had it in, like, the first 30 seconds. 56 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,784 Okay. That's great. 57 00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:07,519 Why don't we move on to the, um, the dialogue? 58 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:08,921 You have this, uh, interior tavern night scene. 59 00:03:09,123 --> 00:03:11,389 Okay. Just your lines. 60 00:03:11,591 --> 00:03:13,258 Sal, give her advice. Tell her to go bigger or she's going. 61 00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:15,994 Have a seat, my friend. 62 00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:19,664 Have a seat, my friend. 63 00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,333 How is it out there? 64 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:24,268 a little bigger. 65 00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:25,670 How is it out there? 66 00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:26,939 Um, sorry, sal. 67 00:03:27,141 --> 00:03:28,807 Do you mind just not giving me direction? 68 00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:30,675 I'm trying to focus. Oh, sorry. So sorry. 69 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:34,012 Yeah. I have to say, you're doing fantastic, tasmin. 70 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,079 Sorry. 71 00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:36,548 Face the wall. Just face the wall. 72 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,351 Go to the corner like "blair witch" and face the wall. 73 00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,219 How is it out there? 74 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,356 Yeah. Put your head against the wall. 75 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,158 How is it out there? 76 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,892 How is it out there? 77 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,795 Bang your head slowly. 78 00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:53,365 Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. 79 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,367 Yeah, sal, have a mental breakdown. 80 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,769 stupid. 81 00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,838 Stupid, stupid, stupid. 82 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,439 stupid. 83 00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:04,709 do you hear that? 84 00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:06,178 You picking up -- is someone saying something in there? 85 00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:09,047 I think sal might be making... Stupid. 86 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,515 ...A noise. So stupid. 87 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:16,388 Murr: Here you go, q. 88 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:18,456 Alright. I don't even know what this is like. 89 00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:20,392 Yeah, I'm not exactly -- didn't get a script or anything. 90 00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:21,726 Yeah, it's a video game. 91 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,395 That's really all you need to know. Alright. 92 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:24,929 Mauricio, we're gonna start with you. 93 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:28,400 Just say, "go north, go south, go east, go west." 94 00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:31,135 Go north, go south. 95 00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:33,271 Murr: This guy's really good. Go east. 96 00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:35,007 Q, turn to him and say, "do me a favor." 97 00:04:35,209 --> 00:04:36,274 Do me a favor. 98 00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:38,276 "find a bridge..." find the bridge... 99 00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:40,812 "...Shoot yourself in the head and fall to your death..." 100 00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:43,748 ...Shoot yourself in the head and fall to your death... 101 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,150 "...Because you are amazing at voiceover." 102 00:04:46,152 --> 00:04:47,619 ...Because you are amazing. 103 00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:49,754 You are amazing. Oh. Really? 104 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,890 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're good. Seriously. Aww. 105 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,492 Go find the bridge, shoot yourself in the face 106 00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:55,627 And fall to your death. 107 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,229 You're that good. Okay. 108 00:04:57,231 --> 00:04:59,631 Yeah. That's cool. 109 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:00,765 Imburgio: Brian. Yep? 110 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,500 Do the directions now. You got it. 111 00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:05,437 "any chance this is that new superman video game?" 112 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,573 Is there any chance this is that new superman game 113 00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:11,576 I've been hearing about? I'm not at liberty to say. 114 00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:13,177 Because if it's a superman game, 115 00:05:13,179 --> 00:05:15,914 That will affect my performance in a very positive way. 116 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,649 Just try -- try and keep it professional. 117 00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,317 Go north. 118 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,985 Murr: Yeah. Keep slipping in superman. 119 00:05:21,187 --> 00:05:23,922 Go east. He went that way, superman. 120 00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:27,059 Superman flew east. 121 00:05:27,261 --> 00:05:29,394 We don't know if it's superman. You don't need to do superman. 122 00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:32,330 Okay. Uh, go north. 123 00:05:32,532 --> 00:05:34,198 Go northwest... 124 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,267 "...Superman." 125 00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:38,803 ...Superman. 126 00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:40,238 Wait for a compliment back. 127 00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:43,942 Nice. Q, just go, 128 00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:46,611 "should I shoot myself on the bridge?" 129 00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:48,746 Should I shoot myself on a bridge? 130 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,082 Hmm? Should I shoot myself in the face on a bridge? 131 00:05:51,085 --> 00:05:53,551 Yeah. yeah. That's so good. 132 00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:55,353 Brian, you can stop. That's -- that's great. 133 00:05:55,555 --> 00:05:57,155 "hey, joe, I don't have to yet..." 134 00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,290 -Hey, joe? -Yeah? 135 00:05:58,492 --> 00:05:59,624 I don't have to yet... 136 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:00,959 "...But when I have to use the bathroom, 137 00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,360 Should I just stay in here to use the piss bottle, or...?" 138 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,697 ...But if I have to go to the bathroom... 139 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,566 Do you just want me to stay in here and use a bottle? 140 00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:12,771 "I could use a piss bottle." I could use a piss bottle. 141 00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,506 You can use the bathroom. That's why we have it. 142 00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:16,641 Alright. Q. "I'm gonna use the piss bottle." 143 00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:18,310 I'm going to use the piss bottle. 144 00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:20,178 What have you got there? Imburgio: Don't use the piss bottle. 145 00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:23,515 Don't use the piss bottle. 146 00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:24,849 We're going to move on to the script. 147 00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:26,284 Sal: Q, "you catch his breath yet?" 148 00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:29,387 Did you catch his breath yet? 149 00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:31,455 His breath? 150 00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:33,591 Imburgio: I can hear you guys. Talking about my breath? 151 00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:34,793 Yeah. 152 00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,260 Sal: Joe, can you go back into that room, 153 00:06:36,462 --> 00:06:38,330 Pull q on the side, and dress him down? 154 00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:40,865 Here we go. Watch this guy. Watch this guy at work. 155 00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:42,266 Hope he doesn't breathe on me. 156 00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:43,668 I actually didn't notice that. 157 00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:45,337 Okay. You're doing great. 158 00:06:45,339 --> 00:06:47,205 I just want to talk to brian for a second here. Yeah. 159 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:49,007 Like, whisper shout at him. Yeah. 160 00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:50,942 can you please keep this professional? 161 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:54,078 We have to get through today. I know, and I will admit 162 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,613 That I am antagonizing you to some degree. 163 00:06:55,615 --> 00:06:57,149 It's completely unnecessary. 164 00:06:57,351 --> 00:06:58,683 You're wasting our time, wasting mauricio's -- 165 00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:01,619 It's like a fart took a shit in your mouth. 166 00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:03,555 The you say to me? Do you want to get a drink after work? 167 00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:05,289 No, I'm not interested. 168 00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:07,225 Let's get through this, guys. Alright, let's get through it. 169 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,293 Come on. Let's grab a drink after work and sort this out. 170 00:07:09,495 --> 00:07:12,364 Not interested. 171 00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,832 You guys hear me? Yeah, I hear you. 172 00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:16,568 We're gonna do, like, a dialogue scene. 173 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,636 Here we go, babe. 174 00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:20,438 25 freaking gold pieces 175 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,706 To get through the holland tunnel now? 176 00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:23,641 25? You believe this crap? 177 00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:25,977 What'd you expect? Bridge trolls don't exactly live cheap. 178 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,645 Murr, crumple up the paper, say, 179 00:07:27,847 --> 00:07:29,247 "I'm sorry, I'm off book, actually." 180 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,915 They know we got no choice. 181 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,051 I'm off book already. I just memorized it. 182 00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:34,719 I'm ready to go. Let's do it. 183 00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:35,987 I'm sorry, you said you're off book, james? 184 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,589 I can speed read 185 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,257 And I have a photographic memory. 186 00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:41,525 Combine those two skills, off book. 187 00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:42,794 Murr, I'm going to feed you the lines. 188 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,662 There's really no need to do this, but that's great. 189 00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:48,400 Okay. I'll tell you why you do it -- professionalism. 190 00:07:48,402 --> 00:07:49,868 Mateo, you're npc one. 191 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:53,137 I told him I'd shove my toolbox up his ass 192 00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:54,406 If he didn't let him through. 193 00:07:54,408 --> 00:07:56,274 Sal: "good luck with that." good luck with that. 194 00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:57,742 "don't call me when you need bail money." 195 00:07:57,944 --> 00:08:00,344 Don't call me when you need bail money. 196 00:08:00,546 --> 00:08:03,681 Off book. Hey. That's impressive there. 197 00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:05,083 "I memorized both lines." 198 00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:06,684 What I do is I memorized everything. 199 00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,686 Your lines and my lines. I can see the whole thing. 200 00:08:08,888 --> 00:08:10,554 "if you're tired, I can do both lines." 201 00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:12,224 If you're tired, I can do both lines. 202 00:08:12,426 --> 00:08:14,092 I actually -- that's -- thank you for that. 203 00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:16,694 I got to see this. Okay. Sure. 204 00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,363 Let me know when you're ready. 205 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,234 "action." action. 206 00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:27,972 Go ahead, pal. 207 00:08:33,447 --> 00:08:38,382 Sal: You confident asshole. You overconfident asshole. 208 00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:41,719 Line? 209 00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:42,787 Why don't we just move on to the foley stuff? 210 00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:44,456 "can you do, like, a horse clomping?" 211 00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:46,324 Can you give me, like, a horse? 212 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:47,992 Okay. Murr, you got to -- 213 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,327 You got to slap your bald head 214 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,330 As horse galloping noises. 215 00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:53,798 No problem. 216 00:08:59,405 --> 00:09:02,140 Sal: At home. Close your eyes. 217 00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:06,611 Just picture a stallion in a field. 218 00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:09,280 That was great. Thank you. 219 00:09:09,283 --> 00:09:11,015 Now you've shifted gears to foley, 220 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,484 I'm going to let you do your foley work. 221 00:09:12,486 --> 00:09:15,619 Okay. Murr, legitimately try and foley this scene. 222 00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,489 Imburgio: We are rolling. Whenever you're ready. 223 00:09:17,491 --> 00:09:19,223 Action. 224 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:25,563 I'm not sure what that is. 225 00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:27,299 What is that exactly what you're doing here? 226 00:09:27,501 --> 00:09:29,633 Murr, say someone's breaking pasta. 227 00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:32,570 It's some-- it's the sound of someone breaking pasta. 228 00:09:37,043 --> 00:09:38,376 You know what I think we're going to do 229 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,844 Is just finish with a string of wild lines 230 00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:41,846 Like the ones we started with. Okay. 231 00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:43,581 Why don't we start with number 20? 232 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,518 beware when the cold wind blows. 233 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,187 Murr, as he's doing these, just start inching closer 234 00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:50,454 And closer to his microphone. 235 00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:52,924 you must have x-ray vision. 236 00:09:58,247 --> 00:10:00,514 beware when the cold wind blows. 237 00:10:00,716 --> 00:10:02,583 Murr, as he's doing these, just start inching 238 00:10:02,585 --> 00:10:04,317 Closer and closer to his microphone. 239 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:07,254 Danger is near. 240 00:10:07,256 --> 00:10:09,657 jeez, it's somebody crack a rat? 241 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:13,227 dude, you must have x-ray vision. 242 00:10:14,263 --> 00:10:16,731 Happy saint 243 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,800 Closer. Get your mouth on his mic. 244 00:10:20,002 --> 00:10:21,669 and I watched -- 245 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:25,272 The dragon killed my family, 246 00:10:25,474 --> 00:10:26,807 And I watched. 247 00:10:27,009 --> 00:10:28,809 Murr, "now, will you be able to add emotion in post, 248 00:10:29,011 --> 00:10:30,544 Or will his lines just sound flat forever?" 249 00:10:30,746 --> 00:10:34,281 It's breathing fire. 250 00:10:34,483 --> 00:10:37,018 Will -- will you be able -- 251 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:38,419 In post... 252 00:10:38,621 --> 00:10:39,753 Can you just cut me out? 253 00:10:39,755 --> 00:10:41,555 If that's a thing that you -- 254 00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:42,956 'cause he's great. 255 00:10:42,958 --> 00:10:44,425 Ah, that's it, idiot. 256 00:10:44,427 --> 00:10:46,960 Narrator: The only thing murr recorded was a loss, 257 00:10:46,962 --> 00:10:50,231 Making him first up on the loser board. 258 00:10:50,433 --> 00:10:51,832 What the heck? Ooh. 259 00:10:52,034 --> 00:10:52,966 Today we're at the american dream mall 260 00:10:53,168 --> 00:10:54,368 Playing concerned dads 261 00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:57,104 That just got a distressing note from our kid's school. 262 00:10:57,106 --> 00:10:58,706 We'll have to read the note out loud, 263 00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:00,708 And then get a fellow mall-goer to give us feedback 264 00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,976 On our very aggressive response, 265 00:11:02,978 --> 00:11:04,978 Which has already been written by the other guys. 266 00:11:04,980 --> 00:11:06,379 Now, if that person tells you 267 00:11:06,382 --> 00:11:10,317 That that email is inappropriate to send as is, you lose. 268 00:11:10,319 --> 00:11:12,986 I'm sending it. Don't -- oh. 269 00:11:16,325 --> 00:11:19,126 Excuse me. Are you a parent? 270 00:11:19,328 --> 00:11:20,461 Can I run something by you? 271 00:11:20,463 --> 00:11:22,263 Oh, sal's in. Sal's in. Murr: Oh, here we go. 272 00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:25,398 I got an email from my kid's school. Here we go. 273 00:11:25,401 --> 00:11:27,200 "brianna had difficulty following rules today, 274 00:11:27,202 --> 00:11:30,738 And we asked her to spend three minutes by herself 275 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,873 In our corner of quiet reflection." 276 00:11:32,875 --> 00:11:35,742 I know my kid, and she doesn't -- she doesn't -- 277 00:11:35,745 --> 00:11:38,011 She wouldn't do anything that would deserve that. 278 00:11:38,013 --> 00:11:39,146 She just wouldn't. 279 00:11:39,348 --> 00:11:42,349 Could I run my response by you as a parent? 280 00:11:42,551 --> 00:11:46,620 Here we go. Okay. "hi,<i> miss</i> lindal. 281 00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:49,290 I assume you use 'miss' 282 00:11:49,492 --> 00:11:53,494 Because you're afraid to say whether you're married or not. 283 00:11:53,696 --> 00:11:56,897 Let me guess -- not. 284 00:11:57,099 --> 00:11:58,899 Let me make one thing clear. 285 00:11:59,101 --> 00:12:02,836 Brianna is a angel." 286 00:12:02,838 --> 00:12:04,371 I know. 287 00:12:04,373 --> 00:12:08,442 "the rest of the class may be cattle like yourself, 288 00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:10,911 Who would just love to run helter skelter 289 00:12:11,113 --> 00:12:12,846 Through a classroom, 290 00:12:13,048 --> 00:12:14,715 Having food fights and ripping the wallpaper down 291 00:12:14,917 --> 00:12:16,249 And pissing on it, 292 00:12:16,251 --> 00:12:18,452 But not my baby." 293 00:12:18,654 --> 00:12:19,653 And then in all caps, 294 00:12:19,855 --> 00:12:22,189 "never do what you have done again!" 295 00:12:25,728 --> 00:12:27,328 Thoughts on that? 296 00:12:28,531 --> 00:12:31,198 Who makes a kid have quiet reflection like that? 297 00:12:39,474 --> 00:12:42,609 Sounds like he's on the side of miss lindal. 298 00:12:42,811 --> 00:12:45,012 I feel like she's a little tough on brianna. 299 00:12:45,214 --> 00:12:47,214 We don't make her reflect at home. 300 00:12:47,416 --> 00:12:49,416 "we don't make her reflect at home." 301 00:12:49,418 --> 00:12:51,919 So do you think that this would be good to send? 302 00:12:53,622 --> 00:12:56,289 No? 303 00:12:56,491 --> 00:12:57,691 Got to go. Alright. 304 00:13:00,229 --> 00:13:03,897 Murr: Alright, q. Open up that email from the school principal. 305 00:13:04,099 --> 00:13:06,900 Excuse me, sir. Can I get your opinion on something? 306 00:13:07,102 --> 00:13:08,902 Do you have kids? 307 00:13:08,904 --> 00:13:10,971 I got an email from my kids school. 308 00:13:10,973 --> 00:13:12,840 So this is what I got today. 309 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,708 "dear mr. Beagle." that's me. 310 00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:17,378 "the more things change, the more they stay the same. 311 00:13:17,580 --> 00:13:21,582 Your son kevin was given detention today for putting -- 312 00:13:21,784 --> 00:13:24,918 For putting gum in selena delmonico's hair. 313 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:26,587 As I recall, 314 00:13:26,789 --> 00:13:28,389 I gave you detention for doing the same thing 315 00:13:28,591 --> 00:13:31,124 Over 30 years ago. 316 00:13:31,326 --> 00:13:33,660 Please explain to your son that this is unacceptable behavior, 317 00:13:33,862 --> 00:13:35,195 As I taught you. 318 00:13:35,198 --> 00:13:37,865 With god's love, sister cummings." 319 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,602 Okay, this woman has been the bane of my existence 320 00:13:41,604 --> 00:13:43,604 Since I was in high school, 321 00:13:43,606 --> 00:13:45,272 And now she's giving it to my son, kevin. 322 00:13:45,274 --> 00:13:47,808 So this is the response I want to send back, 323 00:13:47,810 --> 00:13:49,276 So can I just get your opinion? 324 00:13:49,478 --> 00:13:50,811 It's quick. Okay. "sister... 325 00:13:51,013 --> 00:13:54,147 How the holy are you still alive? 326 00:13:54,149 --> 00:13:57,550 You were an ancient, dusty claptrap of a human 327 00:13:57,553 --> 00:13:59,486 30 years ago. 328 00:13:59,488 --> 00:14:03,824 What's keeping you alive? Hatred of children? 329 00:14:03,826 --> 00:14:06,627 I took that girl I gummed up to the prom." 330 00:14:06,629 --> 00:14:10,097 This is true. "and guess what. We sinned." 331 00:14:12,501 --> 00:14:14,568 "we sinned long and hard. 332 00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:16,303 I guess you failed in your mission 333 00:14:16,505 --> 00:14:18,171 To teach the youth to be good. 334 00:14:18,373 --> 00:14:21,975 What does that feel like, you despicable penguin?! 335 00:14:21,977 --> 00:14:23,844 Revenge is a bitch, ain't it? 336 00:14:24,046 --> 00:14:27,380 You'll give kevin detention over my dead body. 337 00:14:27,382 --> 00:14:29,316 Speaking of dead bodies, 338 00:14:29,518 --> 00:14:32,653 See you soon at your funeral, which I will attend. 339 00:14:32,855 --> 00:14:35,289 Hail satan! Anthony gunk." 340 00:14:37,059 --> 00:14:39,326 This woman has been the bane of my existence 341 00:14:39,328 --> 00:14:40,527 For 30-something years. 342 00:14:40,729 --> 00:14:42,796 Is that okay to send? 343 00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:44,598 Sal: Here we go. 344 00:14:48,370 --> 00:14:51,571 Soon at your funeral, which I will attend. 345 00:14:51,773 --> 00:14:54,040 Hail satan! Anthony gunk." 346 00:14:54,042 --> 00:14:55,642 Is that okay to send? 347 00:14:58,580 --> 00:14:59,912 You think I should take out the fact 348 00:15:00,114 --> 00:15:01,648 That I banged on prom night 349 00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:04,151 Or the "hail satan" or her dead body? 350 00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:07,720 Okay. Just -- just rethink it. 351 00:15:07,722 --> 00:15:09,455 Alright. Very good. Thank you. 352 00:15:09,458 --> 00:15:10,991 Murr: Suck it, sister. 353 00:15:11,860 --> 00:15:15,595 Come on. Excuse me. Do you have kids, bud? 354 00:15:15,797 --> 00:15:16,929 Here we go. He's in. 355 00:15:17,131 --> 00:15:18,598 Do you mind if I ask your advice on this? 356 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:22,135 I just got an email from my kid's principal at school, 357 00:15:22,337 --> 00:15:24,070 And I'm thinking of writing the principal back. 358 00:15:24,072 --> 00:15:26,539 I'm not sure if my response is too overheated. 359 00:15:26,541 --> 00:15:27,540 You tell me, okay? 360 00:15:27,742 --> 00:15:29,141 She says to me, she goes, 361 00:15:29,144 --> 00:15:32,545 "nicholas threw a wet paper towel at the blackboard today, 362 00:15:32,747 --> 00:15:36,282 Which frightened miss scrabis and disrupted class. 363 00:15:36,284 --> 00:15:38,418 We asked him to submit an essay explaining 364 00:15:38,620 --> 00:15:41,354 Why what he did was inappropriate." 365 00:15:41,356 --> 00:15:42,689 Okay. I don't know about you, but when I was in school, 366 00:15:42,891 --> 00:15:44,757 We threw spitballs all the time, right? 367 00:15:44,759 --> 00:15:47,360 It's not a big deal. Kids do it, you know what I'm saying? 368 00:15:47,562 --> 00:15:48,828 It's a different world. 369 00:15:48,831 --> 00:15:50,763 I know, but it's not the way I was raised, man. 370 00:15:50,765 --> 00:15:53,433 So I thought I'd write the principal back. 371 00:15:53,635 --> 00:15:55,968 Here's what I'm thinking of sending. 372 00:15:55,970 --> 00:15:58,304 "I say that's simply impossible. 373 00:15:58,506 --> 00:16:00,907 Nicholas knows that when he misbehaves, 374 00:16:00,909 --> 00:16:02,242 Daddy goes away 375 00:16:02,244 --> 00:16:03,776 And mr. Koomie comes out. 376 00:16:03,778 --> 00:16:05,378 Mr. Koomie crawls on all fours 377 00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:07,914 And speaks in a deep southern drawl." 378 00:16:08,116 --> 00:16:09,716 Why southern? 379 00:16:11,653 --> 00:16:14,254 You know, I use that to threaten my kids, you know? 380 00:16:14,456 --> 00:16:16,656 It's like a character I play. 381 00:16:16,858 --> 00:16:18,324 Almost like a creature in the -- 382 00:16:18,326 --> 00:16:19,659 That crawls down the stairs backward. 383 00:16:19,661 --> 00:16:22,329 You know, it's like that, but with southern drawl. 384 00:16:24,933 --> 00:16:28,401 I mean, at least give me the southern drawl. 385 00:16:28,403 --> 00:16:31,071 I don't know. It's up to you, but I would... 386 00:16:37,011 --> 00:16:39,211 So what you're saying is, I shouldn't tell the principal 387 00:16:39,214 --> 00:16:42,348 About the southern demon I play to scare my children? No, no, no. 388 00:16:42,550 --> 00:16:45,685 Those are the kind of things that will send 389 00:16:45,687 --> 00:16:48,020 Both you and your son to the therapy. 390 00:16:50,358 --> 00:16:53,093 Murr, say "I do declare," then scuttle off on all fours. 391 00:16:56,231 --> 00:16:58,732 Yeah. So you're saying the email is not ready to send? 392 00:17:00,234 --> 00:17:01,768 well, I do declare! 393 00:17:01,970 --> 00:17:04,170 Excuse me. 394 00:17:08,911 --> 00:17:09,976 Alright. 395 00:17:13,181 --> 00:17:15,848 Narrator: The apple didn't fall far from the tree. 396 00:17:15,850 --> 00:17:18,985 Murr is tonight's big loser. 397 00:17:18,987 --> 00:17:22,254 Okay, murr is our big loser, 398 00:17:22,257 --> 00:17:23,656 And today we're doing things a little different. 399 00:17:23,858 --> 00:17:26,058 For your punishment, we are going to actually 400 00:17:26,060 --> 00:17:28,995 Pamper you a little bit with a lovely facial. 401 00:17:28,997 --> 00:17:30,663 Okay. That's right. 402 00:17:30,665 --> 00:17:31,731 So this is rose, our nurse practitioner. 403 00:17:31,933 --> 00:17:33,399 Hi, rose. Hi. Nice to meet you. 404 00:17:33,401 --> 00:17:35,267 She will be micro-needling your stupid face, 405 00:17:35,270 --> 00:17:37,870 And that is a process whereby she will jab your face 406 00:17:37,872 --> 00:17:39,606 With a needle thousands of times. 407 00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:41,141 It's very painful. Is it? 408 00:17:41,343 --> 00:17:42,542 Yes. Don't worry about it, buddy. 409 00:17:42,744 --> 00:17:43,743 I'm sure once the facial is over, 410 00:17:43,945 --> 00:17:45,678 That'll be the end of your punishment. 411 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:48,681 Sure. Take it away, rose. 412 00:17:48,683 --> 00:17:51,484 Alright. I'm gonna start on your forehead, okay? 413 00:17:51,486 --> 00:17:54,621 Ow. Ow, ow, ow. That freaking hurts. 414 00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:56,556 Ow! 415 00:17:56,758 --> 00:17:59,159 That should be good. Yeah, we'll call it right about. Want me to stop? 416 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:00,560 Yeah, I think that's good. Oh. Okay. 417 00:18:00,562 --> 00:18:01,828 Yeah. What does it look like? 418 00:18:03,698 --> 00:18:05,165 Better? Is it better? There you go, pal. 419 00:18:05,367 --> 00:18:06,232 Check that out. 420 00:18:06,434 --> 00:18:08,634 Ew! yeah. That's you. 421 00:18:08,637 --> 00:18:10,302 Wait, wait, wait. Yeah? 422 00:18:10,305 --> 00:18:12,705 You got to finish the face. No, no, that would be less funny. 423 00:18:12,907 --> 00:18:14,440 The event's started. We gotta go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 424 00:18:14,642 --> 00:18:16,108 We're gonna stop right here. 425 00:18:16,310 --> 00:18:18,311 Wait, what? We're stopping at the halfway part 426 00:18:18,513 --> 00:18:20,713 'cause the event's about to start! 427 00:18:20,715 --> 00:18:21,982 For real, I just go out now? Yeah. 428 00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:24,384 What am I walking into? The event. 429 00:18:24,586 --> 00:18:27,387 Come on, harvey dent, we got to get going. 430 00:18:27,389 --> 00:18:29,655 So here's the deal. We are at a firehouse today. 431 00:18:29,658 --> 00:18:31,457 He has no idea what this is about, 432 00:18:31,459 --> 00:18:33,393 What he's saying, who he is, nothing. 433 00:18:33,595 --> 00:18:36,262 He is going to walk out completely cold to these people. 434 00:18:36,264 --> 00:18:39,331 Okay, we're ready to get to our next speaker. 435 00:18:39,334 --> 00:18:40,400 James, are you ready? 436 00:18:40,602 --> 00:18:42,134 Here we go. 437 00:18:49,843 --> 00:18:51,577 Man: We're ready to get to our next speaker, 438 00:18:51,579 --> 00:18:55,514 Who will be speaking about fireworks and fireworks safety. 439 00:18:55,716 --> 00:18:56,848 James, are you ready? 440 00:18:57,050 --> 00:18:58,650 Here we go. 441 00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:05,991 Hi, everybody. 442 00:19:06,193 --> 00:19:08,460 Alright, reach into your pocket, grab a note, 443 00:19:08,462 --> 00:19:10,730 Read the note from your pocket out loud, buddy. 444 00:19:10,932 --> 00:19:12,598 Okay. Uh, hi, everybody. 445 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,200 Uh, I'm here today with the insistence 446 00:19:15,202 --> 00:19:17,269 Of the state of new york 447 00:19:17,271 --> 00:19:19,805 To share with you the dangers of fireworks 448 00:19:19,807 --> 00:19:25,611 So your children don't make the same mistakes...I did. 449 00:19:25,813 --> 00:19:27,212 You could take or leave this court order. 450 00:19:27,414 --> 00:19:29,481 So here we go. 451 00:19:29,683 --> 00:19:32,017 Fireworks are illegal to buy, 452 00:19:32,219 --> 00:19:34,954 Sell, and use in the state of new york. 453 00:19:35,156 --> 00:19:36,288 "I have to say these things." 454 00:19:36,490 --> 00:19:38,624 I have to say these things. You understand. 455 00:19:38,626 --> 00:19:40,426 Dan cast, cough and shake your head no. 456 00:19:41,895 --> 00:19:44,496 What? 457 00:19:44,698 --> 00:19:45,831 Okay. Moving on. 458 00:19:45,833 --> 00:19:47,433 "this part is from me." 459 00:19:47,635 --> 00:19:49,101 So a cautionary tale. I wrote this part. 460 00:19:49,303 --> 00:19:50,836 It's about me, my story. 461 00:19:50,838 --> 00:19:52,037 Let's get through it together, folks. 462 00:19:54,375 --> 00:19:56,575 I have to say this -- by court order, 463 00:19:56,577 --> 00:20:00,379 I have to tell you about my story and how I ended up here. 464 00:20:00,381 --> 00:20:03,515 Uh, I started selling w's, 465 00:20:03,717 --> 00:20:06,051 You know, "'works"... 466 00:20:06,053 --> 00:20:08,788 Out of my parents' basement when I was 13. 467 00:20:10,524 --> 00:20:13,258 By 16, I was dealing -- roman candles, 468 00:20:13,460 --> 00:20:15,127 Bottle rockets, booty chasers. 469 00:20:15,329 --> 00:20:16,328 "you see, my uncle was a cop." 470 00:20:16,530 --> 00:20:17,863 See, my uncle's a cop, you see? 471 00:20:18,065 --> 00:20:19,531 "used to confiscate people's fireworks." 472 00:20:19,533 --> 00:20:22,001 He used to -- he used to, like, confiscate people's fireworks. 473 00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:23,134 "then I'd take 'em from him and sell 'em." 474 00:20:23,137 --> 00:20:24,203 I'd take it from him 475 00:20:24,405 --> 00:20:25,404 And sell 'em right back to the neighborhood. 476 00:20:25,406 --> 00:20:28,540 It was the -- 477 00:20:28,742 --> 00:20:29,808 Let's keep it going. 478 00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:32,011 Anyways, it was cool as shit. 479 00:20:32,013 --> 00:20:33,679 In jersey, they call those a beach bum chasers. 480 00:20:33,881 --> 00:20:37,549 Let's move on. 481 00:20:37,551 --> 00:20:39,018 Moving on. 482 00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:42,688 So, some mistakes I have made along the way. 483 00:20:42,690 --> 00:20:46,158 Uh, I stopped using a beeper as my mode of communication 484 00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:48,960 With neighborhoods, kids, or referrals. 485 00:20:48,962 --> 00:20:51,763 Uh, cellphones were invented, and I started using those. 486 00:20:51,965 --> 00:20:53,565 Mistake. 487 00:20:53,567 --> 00:20:54,834 The government just loves to find new ways 488 00:20:55,036 --> 00:20:56,301 To encroach upon our freedoms. 489 00:20:56,503 --> 00:20:57,836 "and cellphones help them." 490 00:20:57,839 --> 00:21:00,706 And cellphones help them, not you. 491 00:21:00,708 --> 00:21:03,042 if... 492 00:21:05,046 --> 00:21:06,846 Any questions about pagers? 493 00:21:10,051 --> 00:21:11,717 So, another mistake I made. 494 00:21:11,919 --> 00:21:13,919 My girlfriend, now my wife, 495 00:21:13,921 --> 00:21:15,921 Moved into the basement with me. 496 00:21:15,923 --> 00:21:17,589 She had access to the garage 497 00:21:17,591 --> 00:21:19,658 And she wanted to sell her candles out of there. 498 00:21:21,595 --> 00:21:26,465 At first I was like, "no way." but then she kept on it. 499 00:21:26,467 --> 00:21:28,934 So she would sell her candles on tuesdays and thursdays 500 00:21:29,136 --> 00:21:31,270 And I would go dark those days. 501 00:21:31,472 --> 00:21:34,005 Mind you, my biz is seasonal. 502 00:21:34,007 --> 00:21:37,008 Maybe I squeezed some extra spring/fall weeks in there, 503 00:21:37,210 --> 00:21:38,877 But come the dog days of winter, 504 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,613 You couldn't sell a cherry bomb to an arsonist. 505 00:21:41,815 --> 00:21:44,283 I'd like to see you try. Lol. 506 00:21:47,621 --> 00:21:50,956 I'd make anywhere from $75 to $150-ish a day profit. 507 00:21:51,158 --> 00:21:53,825 So let's say average is $112.50 a day profit. 508 00:21:53,827 --> 00:21:57,229 So one $1s12.50 times 32 days that she sold 509 00:21:57,431 --> 00:22:00,099 Equals $3,600 that I lost in that amount of time 510 00:22:00,101 --> 00:22:03,635 That particular season. 511 00:22:03,637 --> 00:22:06,905 They're getting angry at you. Next slide. 512 00:22:06,908 --> 00:22:09,040 I<i> needed</i> to make up that money, 513 00:22:09,042 --> 00:22:11,843 So I started selling willy-nilly to even the kids 514 00:22:11,845 --> 00:22:15,046 That I knew had strict parents and I got reported 515 00:22:15,048 --> 00:22:16,982 Because this one kid's dad was a retired 516 00:22:17,184 --> 00:22:19,851 Parking enforcement officer -- meter maid -- 517 00:22:20,053 --> 00:22:21,987 And that's when I blew up my operation, 518 00:22:22,189 --> 00:22:24,924 Figuratively and actually. 519 00:22:25,126 --> 00:22:29,128 Next slide. Had mid-size explosion... 520 00:22:29,330 --> 00:22:31,730 Had mid-size explosion in garage in 2019. 521 00:22:31,732 --> 00:22:33,598 Hence my face. 522 00:22:33,601 --> 00:22:36,201 look at his face! 523 00:22:36,203 --> 00:22:39,070 That's when jared, the meter maid, reported me. 524 00:22:39,272 --> 00:22:42,474 It's fine. It's for the better. I still talk to his son. 525 00:22:46,347 --> 00:22:49,281 For real, I have not sold any fireworks since then. 526 00:22:49,483 --> 00:22:53,084 "you hear that, dan?" you hear that, dan? 527 00:22:53,286 --> 00:22:56,087 I sell candles now too with my wife, 528 00:22:56,089 --> 00:22:59,958 Who is also ordered to assist me with these cool teachings. 529 00:23:03,164 --> 00:23:05,965 My wife will now pass out pamphlets from the city. 530 00:23:06,167 --> 00:23:07,833 Okay, here comes your wife. 531 00:23:08,035 --> 00:23:09,701 Your wife, who is being played by johnna, 532 00:23:09,703 --> 00:23:12,171 Our producer and writer. 533 00:23:12,173 --> 00:23:14,706 Hi. Hi. 534 00:23:14,708 --> 00:23:17,376 Let's get a look at johnna, who's also been 535 00:23:17,378 --> 00:23:20,111 Severely and horribly burned. 536 00:23:22,316 --> 00:23:23,915 Click the next one, murr. 537 00:23:25,452 --> 00:23:30,189 That is -- that is my obligatory court-ordered presentation. 538 00:23:30,391 --> 00:23:32,057 Sick fireworks, huh? 539 00:23:34,127 --> 00:23:35,994 Murr, take out that sparkler we gave you. 540 00:23:35,997 --> 00:23:37,462 I'm sorry. I know I put it somewhere. 541 00:23:37,664 --> 00:23:39,365 I like to end with a bang. 542 00:23:41,402 --> 00:23:45,537 [ sparkler fizzing, laughter ] 543 00:23:45,739 --> 00:23:48,139 Dan, do me a favor. Go put that out for us. 544 00:23:53,214 --> 00:23:56,281 This guy left. "eight months, three weeks to go," and walk out. 545 00:23:56,483 --> 00:23:58,483 Eight months, three weeks to go. 546 00:23:58,685 --> 00:24:01,753 Let's go! 547 00:24:01,955 --> 00:24:02,754 Peace. 547 00:24:03,305 --> 00:25:03,881 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm