"Kiff" Stories Before Snories/Is Patty a Baddie?

1 00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:03,921 - [♪ theme music playing] - <i>♪ Kiff! ♪</i> 2 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:06,340 <i>♪ Kiff! Kiff! ♪</i> 3 00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:08,467 <i>♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪</i> 4 00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:13,013 <i>♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪</i> 5 00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:16,974 <i>♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪</i> 6 00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:18,769 <i>♪ Yeah! ♪</i> 7 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,104 <i>- ♪ Kiff! ♪</i> - [♪ theme music concludes] 8 00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:25,943 [both laugh] 9 00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:29,071 {\an8}[♪ soft instrumental music playing] 10 00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:35,493 Another eventful day done and dusted. 11 00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:37,662 It had its ups, it had its downs. 12 00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:40,414 <i>It sure did.</i> [grunts] <i>But Kiff, I still don't get</i> 13 00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:42,917 why you've called me beyond our mutual bedtimes. 14 00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:45,545 <i>- I can't sleep.</i> - Classic. 15 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,548 It's bad, Bar. The mind, it races. 16 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:52,677 I was just thinking about sand. You ever think about sand, Bar? 17 00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:56,931 <i>Sand? It's so small, and many.</i> 18 00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:59,892 Don't even get me started. And glass? [scoffs] 19 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:06,191 That is a whole other story. Wait! A story, Barry! Dad! 20 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,068 Kiff? Shouldn't you be asleep? 21 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,696 Dad, I wanna do Stories Before Snories. 22 00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:15,575 You do? We haven't done Stories Before Snories in years. 23 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:18,494 I know, but I can't sleep, like, at all, 24 00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:21,038 and I just know that listening to a story will help. 25 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:24,083 I don't know, Kiff. I remember us stopping this for some reason. 26 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,003 Dad, please. One story, 27 00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:29,589 that's entirely made up on the spot, has nothing to do with sand, 28 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,757 stars a character that strongly represents me. 29 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:35,678 It should have mystery, drama, betrayal, redemption. 30 00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:37,013 Now, I remember why. 31 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:41,350 Please, Dad? One story and then I'll go snory. Deal? 32 00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:44,062 [sighs] Okay, deal. 33 00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:51,820 Okay, let's see, um... 34 00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:54,656 - Once upon a time-- - What time? 35 00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:56,533 Uh... 36 00:01:57,075 --> 00:02:00,036 Like, when? Is this time last week or last decade? 37 00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,662 I need answers, Dad. 38 00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:06,585 Okay, once upon a time, exactly 200 years ago, 39 00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,587 <i>there was a young squirrel called Puimm.</i> 40 00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:12,965 <i>Puimm lived in a big castle that had a moat.</i> 41 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,843 <i>And also, its own bowling alley</i> 42 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:18,429 <i>that Puimm's dad used regularly to get his eye in before</i> 43 00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:20,348 <i>the big bowling tournaments in the village.</i> 44 00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:21,808 - Dad. - Sorry, sorry. 45 00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:24,894 <i>Puimm would lie in bed every night,</i> 46 00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:27,438 <i>and think about all sorts of things.</i> 47 00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,524 <i>So many different things.</i> 48 00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:33,444 <i>But one night, there was a knock at the door.</i> 49 00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:34,655 [Kiff] <i>Do the knock.</i> 50 00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,657 [knocks] 51 00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:39,283 [Martin] <i>It was a man, and he said...</i> 52 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:40,409 Hello. 53 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,620 [Kiff] <i>Do his voice.</i> 54 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:43,663 [Martin, in high voice] Hello! 55 00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:47,208 I'm going door-to-door seeing if anyone is interested in, 56 00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:51,003 um, this bag of sand. 57 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,172 Dad, I said no sand! 58 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:56,384 [Martin] <i>Right, right, sorry, no sand. So, Puimm screamed...</i> 59 00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:57,510 [growls] No sand! 60 00:02:57,511 --> 00:03:00,430 Get the sand away from me and my kingdom! 61 00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:06,686 [in normal voice] <i>And he got in his car and left.</i> 62 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,853 Good riddance. 63 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:10,356 [Martin] <i>Then Puimm rode a dragon to the land of pillows</i> 64 00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,192 <i>and fell fast asleep. The end.</i> 65 00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:17,113 Dad, what was that? I don't mean to pick holes here, 66 00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:18,864 but your story was all over the place. 67 00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:22,618 You said the guy got in his car? This was 200 years ago. 68 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,495 Surely he would have left by horse? 69 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,038 And the sudden dragon? 70 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,457 You didn't even establish how she met the dragon! 71 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:31,503 Okay, okay, so I'm a little rusty. 72 00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:34,672 - Beryl? - [groans] 73 00:03:34,673 --> 00:03:36,132 Everything all right? 74 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:39,218 We're doing Stories Before Snories, but, uh, I'm tanking. 75 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,762 Think you could give it a go? 76 00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:45,892 {\an8}Oh! Been a while, but, uh, sure, I can tap in. Where we at? 77 00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:49,145 Well, there's this squirrel called Puimm. 78 00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:50,813 It's 200 years ago. 79 00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:54,401 She banned some guy from the kingdom, and then suddenly flew on a dragon. 80 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,820 Did you establish how she met the dragon? 81 00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:58,905 {\an8}No. 82 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:04,952 {\an8}Woof. [sighs] Okay. Here we go. [inhales] Exactly 205 years ago, 83 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,955 <i>Puimm was walking through the enchanted woods</i> 84 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:10,666 <i>when she came across a little baby dragon</i> 85 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,669 <i>tangled in some brambles.</i> 86 00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:20,426 <i>Puimm cut them loose, and it looked up at her, and said...</i> 87 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,052 [Kiff] <i>Don't forget to do the voice.</i> 88 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,597 [Beryl clears throat, imitates] Thank you, kind squirrel. 89 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:27,433 For the rest of my days, I will be forever bonded to you, 90 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,436 and will help whenever you're in need. 91 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,483 [both clapping] 92 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,234 Okay. All right, great dragon intro, 93 00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:38,652 but we need some action. 94 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,864 What's going on with Puimm back in real time? 95 00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:44,241 I'm getting there. Uh, back in the present, 96 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,951 <i>Puimm's mom was making her a sandwich.</i> 97 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,536 A banana split. 98 00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:50,331 [Beryl] <i>A banana split when she heard a loud crash,</i> 99 00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:53,334 and some booms outside. Martin, would you? 100 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:57,506 Yes, sure. Boom! Smash! Kaboom! 101 00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:01,050 <i>Boom! Smash!</i> 102 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:03,177 [Beryl] <i>She looked out the window, and behold,</i> 103 00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:05,346 <i>a huge angee giant with an eye patch</i> 104 00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:07,598 <i>was making its way towards the village...</i> 105 00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,475 [Martin] <i>Crash! Boom! Boom!</i> 106 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,769 [Beryl] <i>...destroying everything in its path!</i> 107 00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,730 - [Martin] <i>Crash!</i> - [crowd screaming] 108 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:18,901 [Martin] <i>Boom! Boom! Boom! Throw! Kaboom! Smash!</i> 109 00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:20,778 <i>Puimm's dad ran in and was all...</i> 110 00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:22,112 Not the village! 111 00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:24,365 That's where the bowling alley is. 112 00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:27,619 And the big tournament is this evening. 113 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:29,995 Puimm's mom responded, 114 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,914 “I think there are more pressing concerns 115 00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,124 than the tournament." 116 00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:38,754 But Puimm could see how devastated her dad was, 117 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:41,882 and how he really wanted this bowling alley in the story, 118 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:44,677 so she decided to call for help. 119 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,554 - From the dragon? - From the dragon. 120 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:47,972 Yes! 121 00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:49,932 [Beryl] <i>Puimm grabbed her special curvy</i> 122 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:52,227 <i>bone dragon caller thing, and blew it.</i> 123 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,146 [Martin imitates horn bellowing] 124 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,648 [Beryl] <i>The dragon came quickly,</i> 125 00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,984 <i>and flew Puimm and her parents to the village, but...</i> 126 00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,528 <i>it was too late.</i> 127 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,614 {\an8}<i>The bowling alley was gone.</i> 128 00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:05,865 Oh, no! 129 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,701 [Beryl] <i>Said Puimm's dad. But the dragon was all...</i> 130 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,245 Never fear, I said I would always be there to help, 131 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:13,664 and it just so happens I know an excellent contractor 132 00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:16,166 who could rebuild this alley in time for the tournament. 133 00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:17,418 I'll call him now. 134 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:20,337 {\an8}[Martin imitates horn bellowing] 135 00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:23,382 {\an8}[Beryl] <i>He called, and soon the contractor arrived.</i> 136 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,010 - [Kiff] <i>By horse?</i> - [Beryl] <i>Yes. But he was looking glum.</i> 137 00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:28,220 [♪ suspenseful instrumental music playing] 138 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,681 - Why? - Why? 139 00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:33,392 [Beryl] <i>Because his supplies never arrived.</i> 140 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,728 My supplies never arrived! 141 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:39,148 [Beryl] <i>Thanks, babe. And so, Puimm's dad learned a valuable lesson.</i> 142 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:41,108 That sometimes even a dragon can't help you 143 00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,652 to win a bowling tournament. You just need to be patient, 144 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,363 and wait until next year to enter. 145 00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:49,241 <i>Then the dragon flew them all to the land of pillows</i> 146 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:53,079 <i>where they all slept happily ever after. The end.</i> 147 00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:55,749 [insects chirping] 148 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,793 Okay, look. I don't know what debate you've been having 149 00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:01,587 downstairs about a bowling tournament, 150 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:04,423 but this story makes even less sense than when you started! 151 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,592 What about the giant? Why was he so mad? 152 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,885 Uh... 153 00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:11,764 Am I... Uh. Is Puimm like a princess? 154 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,474 Does she even wield the power 155 00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,684 to banish people from entire kingdoms? 156 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:18,145 [Barry] <i>These are all good questions, Kiff.</i> 157 00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:20,272 [Barry] <i>Hi, this is Barry. I never hung up.</i> 158 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,774 <i>I've been here the whole time.</i> 159 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:26,529 <i>So, I think I know what's happening here. May I?</i> 160 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,156 Yeah, please, Bar. 161 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,574 - Knock yourself out. - Go ahead. 162 00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,409 <i>Okay, exactly 200 years ago,</i> 163 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,663 <i>five minutes before all that stuff happened,</i> 164 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,706 <i>Puimm had a best friend who she called on for help.</i> 165 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:41,460 <i>He was a good supportive friend who had no feelings of jealousy</i> 166 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,713 <i>towards the whole dragon-bond thing.</i> 167 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,215 <i>Puimm gave him a call and he said...</i> 168 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:47,884 You always do the right thing, 169 00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:51,638 and if you think hard enough, you will find the answers. 170 00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:58,144 <i>Puimm thought. She thought, and thought, and thought.</i> 171 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:01,106 [♪ mystical instrumental music playing] 172 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,317 [Barry] <i>And then it struck her.</i> 173 00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:07,695 <i>“What do you do when you prepare a building site?</i> 174 00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:12,116 <i>"You lay a foundation. How do you lay a foundation?</i> 175 00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:14,494 <i>"By compacting sand!"</i> 176 00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:18,288 <i>Puimm realized she banished a man with a bag of sand.</i> 177 00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:20,999 <i>This must have been the man who supplies the village</i> 178 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,793 <i>and its contractors with sand!</i> 179 00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:26,130 [sighs] I shouldn't have reacted so badly. 180 00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:30,467 "Dragon, could you help me find that poor man?" asked Puimm. 181 00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:33,095 <i>And they went off and found him,</i> 182 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:35,597 <i>living off the land with all his sand.</i> 183 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:37,933 <i>She un-banished him, which meant he could supply</i> 184 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,019 <i>the contractors with sand again.</i> 185 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,438 <i>The contractor then completed construction</i> 186 00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:45,691 <i>on the bowling alley just in time for the big tournament,</i> 187 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,777 <i>which Puimm's dad ended up winning.</i> 188 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,864 <i>But they realized all the trophies were also destroyed.</i> 189 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,115 [all gasp] 190 00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:56,493 [Barry] <i>And that's when Puimm had another brilliant idea.</i> 191 00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:59,664 <i>She got the dragon to breathe some fire onto a pile of sand,</i> 192 00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:03,459 <i>turning it into a perfectly round glass trophy</i> 193 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:04,753 <i>resembling a bowling ball.</i> 194 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,963 <i>Puimm's dad had never been happier.</i> 195 00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,381 <i>But then the giant arrived.</i> 196 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,799 [screaming] 197 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,968 [Barry] <i>And was more furious than ever.</i> 198 00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:16,138 [growls] "I'm so furious," he said. 199 00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:19,058 <i>Puimm asked him why he was so angee, and he said...</i> 200 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,685 I'm mad because I lost my eye, 201 00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,812 and now, I have to wear this eyepatch. 202 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:27,107 I hate it. Everyone thinks I'm a pirate, 203 00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:28,943 but I'm not! 204 00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:33,072 [Barry] <i>Puimm had an idea. She took the glass trophy,</i> 205 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:36,867 <i>rolled it up a ramp, and landed it perfectly in the giants eye.</i> 206 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:39,369 <i>The giant loved his new glass eye,</i> 207 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,289 and agreed to help tidy up. 208 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,960 “Sorry you don't have a trophy" Puimm said to her dad. 209 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:50,131 “You're the only trophy I need," he replied. 210 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:54,134 [Barry] <i>Just before they left, the un-banished man called out...</i> 211 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:58,347 Oh, wait! You should know, 212 00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,682 I am actually the sandman. 213 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:04,436 Like, The Sandman, and when I came to your door, 214 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,688 I was selling little bags of sleep sand. 215 00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:10,275 I can always tell when someone is struggling to fall asleep. 216 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,070 Here, take this. 217 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,447 [Barry] <i>And he handed her a bag on the house.</i> 218 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,409 [♪ epic instrumental music playing] 219 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,792 [Barry] <i>That night, Puimm fell asleep easily,</i> 220 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,253 <i>and could not believe how in the end,</i> 221 00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:33,382 it was sand and its endless wonders 222 00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:36,970 that ended up being the hero of tonight's story. [chuckles] 223 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,389 The end. What do you think? 224 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:42,391 - [Chatterleys snoring] - Hello? 225 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:43,643 [snores] 226 00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,563 Chatterleys? 227 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,863 - [snores] Mm. Bowling alley. - [snores, sighs] 228 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:59,033 Well, I guess my work here is done. 229 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,452 Sweet dreams. 230 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,464 Oh, no.