"Smartypants" Presidents, Zzyzx, Rollercoasters, Night Owls

1 00:00:00,090 --> 00:00:02,340 - [Rekha] We're known as the Smartypants Society, 2 00:00:02,340 --> 00:00:04,620 intellectuals who gather in the dead of night 3 00:00:04,620 --> 00:00:06,960 to swap ideas and share discoveries. 4 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:09,150 This week, you'll here from Jon Gabrus. 5 00:00:09,150 --> 00:00:12,843 - The past few presidents have ruined movie presidents. 6 00:00:14,190 --> 00:00:15,060 - [Rekha] Carolyn Page. 7 00:00:15,060 --> 00:00:17,925 - The strangest American scam you've never heard of. 8 00:00:17,925 --> 00:00:19,500 - Whoa. - Grant O'Brien. 9 00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:22,290 - The Coaster Wars and the Pleasures of Regionalism. 10 00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:23,540 - Oh no. 11 00:00:23,540 --> 00:00:24,602 And Pallavi Gunalan. 12 00:00:24,602 --> 00:00:27,180 - Morning people are an oppressive class. 13 00:00:27,180 --> 00:00:30,390 - Okay! - Welcome to "Smartypants". 14 00:00:30,390 --> 00:00:31,920 - [Sam] Presenters are responsible for their own research. 15 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:33,120 The makers of this program cannot guarantee 16 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,400 anything they say is accurate. 17 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:38,310 - Welcome, members of the Smartypants Society. 18 00:00:38,310 --> 00:00:40,410 I am your host, Rekha Shankar, 19 00:00:40,410 --> 00:00:42,960 and today, our speakers have all prepared 20 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,480 presentations on topics of their choosing. 21 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,550 So we'll invite them up, hear them out, 22 00:00:47,550 --> 00:00:49,320 and then have a lively discussion. 23 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:53,430 But before we begin, we must say our sacred motto. 24 00:00:53,430 --> 00:00:54,270 - No one really knows how to play chess. 25 00:00:54,270 --> 00:00:55,562 - I mispronounced that word 'cause I read it in a book. 26 00:00:55,562 --> 00:00:57,499 - It's like checkers, but they're fooling you. 27 00:00:57,499 --> 00:00:59,880 - It's not 'cause I'm stupid, 'cause I'm not stupid. 28 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:01,606 - Good. Let's get started. 29 00:01:01,606 --> 00:01:04,470 (jaunty music) 30 00:01:04,470 --> 00:01:07,770 - I'm Jon Gabrus. I'm not really an academic guy. 31 00:01:07,770 --> 00:01:09,630 I'm more of a movie guy. 32 00:01:09,630 --> 00:01:13,200 So I'd like to show you how movies are being affected 33 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:16,200 by culture, and culture is affecting movies. 34 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,030 The past few presidents 35 00:01:18,030 --> 00:01:22,050 have ruined movie presidents permanently. 36 00:01:22,050 --> 00:01:24,660 We all love seeing the president in a movie, right? 37 00:01:24,660 --> 00:01:26,370 It's always exciting to see the president 38 00:01:26,370 --> 00:01:28,860 do something that you don't think is that presidential. 39 00:01:28,860 --> 00:01:32,280 We had great president movies in the 90s. 40 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:33,637 Let's talk a little bit about them. 41 00:01:33,637 --> 00:01:35,100 "The American President" 42 00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:38,820 starring legendary sleazebag Michael Douglas, 43 00:01:38,820 --> 00:01:41,850 and it still comes across as a charming tale 44 00:01:41,850 --> 00:01:44,580 of a man who's got all the power in the world 45 00:01:44,580 --> 00:01:47,940 but is still having a hard time picking up Annette Bening. 46 00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:51,870 We got James Marshall, Harrison Ford, from "Air Force One". 47 00:01:51,870 --> 00:01:54,270 Now that guy is my president. 48 00:01:54,270 --> 00:01:57,900 He stops a terrorist attack on his work plane. 49 00:01:57,900 --> 00:02:00,030 And then, of course, we have Thomas J. Whitmore, 50 00:02:00,030 --> 00:02:02,910 Bill Pullman from "Independence Day". 51 00:02:02,910 --> 00:02:04,890 The man got in a plane 52 00:02:04,890 --> 00:02:07,620 and literally fought against the aliens. 53 00:02:07,620 --> 00:02:09,360 Could you picture that now? 54 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:12,154 No, 'cause aliens are already here. 55 00:02:12,154 --> 00:02:13,890 (all laughing) 56 00:02:13,890 --> 00:02:15,690 What do all those presidents have in common? 57 00:02:15,690 --> 00:02:16,981 They have principles. 58 00:02:16,981 --> 00:02:18,900 They have strong political beliefs. 59 00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:20,970 They care for the American people. 60 00:02:20,970 --> 00:02:24,180 They are also old, and they are also white. 61 00:02:24,180 --> 00:02:25,650 - Boo. - But to be fair, 62 00:02:25,650 --> 00:02:30,060 in the 90s, that was a kind of pattern amongst presidents. 63 00:02:30,060 --> 00:02:32,670 They were old and white. Most of them were smart. 64 00:02:32,670 --> 00:02:34,590 Most of them had military experience. 65 00:02:34,590 --> 00:02:36,780 Some of them were brave and courageous. 66 00:02:36,780 --> 00:02:39,840 But as time went on, there was a transgressive choice 67 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,270 you could make as a TV creator 68 00:02:42,270 --> 00:02:45,090 or a film writer or a casting director, 69 00:02:45,090 --> 00:02:49,353 and what was this crazy, outside the box idea you could do? 70 00:02:50,310 --> 00:02:52,320 Black presidents. 71 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:53,153 Yeah, that's right. 72 00:02:53,153 --> 00:02:56,100 Dennis Haysbert, "24". You know him. 73 00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:58,200 Morgan Freeman from "Deep Impact". 74 00:02:58,200 --> 00:02:59,550 Morgan Freeman is more presidential 75 00:02:59,550 --> 00:03:02,190 than anyone I've ever met in my entire life. 76 00:03:02,190 --> 00:03:05,370 Chris Rock is actually in a movie about how funny 77 00:03:05,370 --> 00:03:07,860 it would be if a black guy did become a president. 78 00:03:07,860 --> 00:03:10,110 I watched all these movies in research. 79 00:03:10,110 --> 00:03:12,080 That one doesn't age as well as you think it does. 80 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,820 - Is that one called "Raise the Roof"? 81 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,085 - Yep, it's "Raise the Roof". 82 00:03:16,085 --> 00:03:18,450 - I've seen that one. - Yes, and then of course, 83 00:03:18,450 --> 00:03:21,360 we have maybe the most legendary of all black presidents, 84 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:25,080 President Camacho played by Terry Crews from "Idiocracy". 85 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:25,913 - Woo! 86 00:03:25,913 --> 00:03:29,280 - Accidentally the most predictive casting 87 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,770 of a president ever, in that all of our presidents 88 00:03:31,770 --> 00:03:34,290 would eventually be much like Camacho. 89 00:03:34,290 --> 00:03:35,880 All these casting directors, directors, 90 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:36,840 think they're interesting. 91 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:37,673 Like, look, a black... 92 00:03:37,673 --> 00:03:39,060 How crazy is that? 93 00:03:39,060 --> 00:03:40,923 Not that crazy, motherfucker. 94 00:03:41,790 --> 00:03:43,230 He was cool. 95 00:03:43,230 --> 00:03:46,230 He told us what movies and books and music 96 00:03:46,230 --> 00:03:47,550 he was listening to. 97 00:03:47,550 --> 00:03:49,740 He loved his wife. He was a good dad. 98 00:03:49,740 --> 00:03:52,140 He smoked pot. He inhaled. 99 00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:54,630 He blasted cigs in the White House. 100 00:03:54,630 --> 00:03:56,910 Now if you put a black president in a movie, 101 00:03:56,910 --> 00:03:59,280 it's not a sci-fi choice anymore. 102 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,840 It's reality. 103 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:03,030 Post-Obama, the president thing 104 00:04:03,030 --> 00:04:05,220 kinda shifted a little bit, 105 00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:08,760 right into the shitter, as the kids say. 106 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:11,640 Donald J. Trump. 107 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,905 - Ugh. - Grant's president. 108 00:04:15,990 --> 00:04:17,460 You canvased for him. 109 00:04:17,460 --> 00:04:19,235 Now... (laughing) 110 00:04:19,235 --> 00:04:20,360 we used to make movies 111 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,830 where the president would do something silly, 112 00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:26,190 and it would seem silly because he's the president 113 00:04:26,190 --> 00:04:27,960 and isn't supposed to be doing that. 114 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:30,960 But then we got a president who really cared 115 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,951 about RPatz and KStew drama; 116 00:04:33,951 --> 00:04:35,809 who wished best wishes to all, 117 00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:39,420 even the haters and losers, on September 11th. 118 00:04:39,420 --> 00:04:40,740 Now, if that happened in a movie, 119 00:04:40,740 --> 00:04:42,570 that would be a comedy movie. 120 00:04:42,570 --> 00:04:47,190 But it happened in real life, so it was hell on Earth. 121 00:04:47,190 --> 00:04:50,460 Now, imagine all the movies I previously mentioned 122 00:04:50,460 --> 00:04:53,220 with these new presidents in these roles. 123 00:04:53,220 --> 00:04:56,100 Now, I can't be fully- (Grant snorting) 124 00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:58,890 I gotta be a little bipartisan here, okay? 125 00:04:58,890 --> 00:05:01,800 Because yes, one guy is less awful 126 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,930 than the other guy, bar none. 127 00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:08,250 But I do not think you wanna see Joe Biden 128 00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:10,800 fighting terrorists on a plane. 129 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:14,730 I don't even wanna see him on a stair without a banister. 130 00:05:16,410 --> 00:05:18,390 This movie features Harrison Ford 131 00:05:18,390 --> 00:05:21,450 putting a parachute on and then ripping the cord 132 00:05:21,450 --> 00:05:23,700 and jumping out of a plane that's crashing. 133 00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:25,800 Joe Biden would turn to dust 134 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:29,680 if he put a JanSport backpack on. 135 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:34,263 Could you imagine Joe Biden firing a gun? 136 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:37,800 Throwing a punch? 137 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,990 I can't watch a movie president going forward, 138 00:05:39,990 --> 00:05:43,851 not thinking of Slow Joe getting his ass whooped. 139 00:05:45,090 --> 00:05:46,320 I know what you're thinking. 140 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,960 What movie star could play a president now? 141 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,000 Who would make sense in president casting? 142 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,490 No one anymore, because now, 143 00:05:53,490 --> 00:05:57,960 presidents are being chosen from celebrities. 144 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:01,320 So now, we are in a fucked up, upside-down world 145 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,380 where The Rock can't be cast as the president, 146 00:06:04,380 --> 00:06:08,364 because The Rock could be elected as president. 147 00:06:08,364 --> 00:06:11,700 All right, let's get to the real horrifying shit. 148 00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:15,060 Imagine this guy as a movie president. 149 00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:18,510 Donald Trump on Air Force One fighting off terrorists? 150 00:06:18,510 --> 00:06:21,003 (as Trump) What are you doing here? Where's my KFC? 151 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,600 Okay, I'm gonna botch that impression, all right. 152 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,690 I'm trying here, folks. - It was incredible. 153 00:06:27,690 --> 00:06:31,050 - Just try and picture Donald J. Trump 154 00:06:31,050 --> 00:06:33,060 giving the speech from "Independence Day". 155 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,790 (as Trump) Here's the deal. We've got aliens. 156 00:06:35,790 --> 00:06:39,060 Now, I've got soldiers coming up to me, tears in their eyes. 157 00:06:39,060 --> 00:06:41,850 They say to me, President Trump, the aliens are coming. 158 00:06:41,850 --> 00:06:43,500 We need you to fly a plane. 159 00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:45,795 So I'm gonna go! I'm gonna go up there. 160 00:06:45,795 --> 00:06:46,710 I'm gonna go up there, 161 00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:49,200 and we're gonna take out these aliens. 162 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,725 No more aliens! 163 00:06:50,725 --> 00:06:51,901 Eh, what're you gonna do? 164 00:06:51,901 --> 00:06:53,220 Huh? We don't like 'em. 165 00:06:53,220 --> 00:06:55,557 Shoot the aliens. We gotta get rid of 'em. 166 00:06:55,557 --> 00:06:58,113 And this is your Independence Day. 167 00:06:58,950 --> 00:07:00,690 Boom! 168 00:07:00,690 --> 00:07:04,630 Got 'em. Now I have the biggest buildings in New York City. 169 00:07:06,060 --> 00:07:10,181 I saw the aliens in Newark celebrating the explosions. 170 00:07:11,220 --> 00:07:13,303 Are these deep enough cuts for you guys? 171 00:07:13,303 --> 00:07:14,400 - [Rekha] I can't believe this is- 172 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,228 - Anyone else live in New York around 2001? 173 00:07:19,110 --> 00:07:21,183 - How is this still going, the impression? 174 00:07:21,183 --> 00:07:22,980 - I know, I know. I apologize. 175 00:07:22,980 --> 00:07:26,070 I apologize for reminding you guys of Donald Trump, 176 00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:28,380 and I apologize for those viewers at home 177 00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:32,343 who are living under Donald Trump as president right now. 178 00:07:33,212 --> 00:07:35,340 - No! - (as Trump) Bang, boom! 179 00:07:35,340 --> 00:07:37,830 The aliens are gone. You're welcome. 180 00:07:37,830 --> 00:07:41,623 Thank you, losers. (all cheering) 181 00:07:42,954 --> 00:07:44,413 - You have to keep all of it in. 182 00:07:44,413 --> 00:07:47,160 - So Gabrus, I couldn't help but notice, 183 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:48,900 you sorta dedicated, I wanna say, 184 00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:50,400 a rough two thirds of your presentation 185 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,980 to a Donald Trump impression. - Yeah, yeah. 186 00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:54,870 - I sorta wanted to give you the floor right now, 187 00:07:54,870 --> 00:07:55,770 'cause it seems like maybe you've got 188 00:07:55,770 --> 00:07:57,480 a couple of other impressions. 189 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,640 - Yeah, see, I'm kind of a master impressionist, 190 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:01,470 so I'm glad you asked me this question. 191 00:08:01,470 --> 00:08:05,880 This is the kind of on-the-spot I prefer and, you know, 192 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,020 I do a lot of the classics. 193 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,910 I do Sean Connery, you know? 194 00:08:08,910 --> 00:08:10,753 (as Sean Connery) I am the last one! 195 00:08:10,753 --> 00:08:11,920 "DragonHeart". 196 00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:14,163 Next question. 197 00:08:16,904 --> 00:08:20,340 - Okay, Pallavi, I saw your hand up. 198 00:08:20,340 --> 00:08:22,356 - I can't help but notice, 199 00:08:22,356 --> 00:08:26,040 lot of men in your presentation. 200 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:29,130 Have you thought of perhaps a female president 201 00:08:29,130 --> 00:08:30,900 that could be portrayed in a movie, 202 00:08:30,900 --> 00:08:32,287 and who might portray them? 203 00:08:32,287 --> 00:08:34,588 - "Abbott Elementary"'s Janelle James. 204 00:08:34,588 --> 00:08:35,517 - Yes! - Ooh! 205 00:08:35,517 --> 00:08:37,590 - She would be a funny president. 206 00:08:37,590 --> 00:08:39,330 - She'd be a funny president, she's also smart, 207 00:08:39,330 --> 00:08:42,540 and she's also capable of being a little terrifying. 208 00:08:42,540 --> 00:08:43,440 - She's an action star. 209 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,210 - Yes, you mention a lot of cool shit 210 00:08:45,210 --> 00:08:46,620 that movie presidents do, 211 00:08:46,620 --> 00:08:51,030 like jumping out of a plane or blowing up an alien ship. 212 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:54,030 If you were a movie president, what cool shit would you do? 213 00:08:54,030 --> 00:08:57,630 - Universal healthcare. (Rekha mimicking gunfire) 214 00:08:57,630 --> 00:09:01,110 - Get off my plan! (all applauding) 215 00:09:01,110 --> 00:09:03,524 - Wow! - The champ is here! 216 00:09:03,524 --> 00:09:06,780 - I'm just curious, which actual US president 217 00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:09,870 do you think is the most like a movie president? 218 00:09:09,870 --> 00:09:12,900 - Teddy Roosevelt and Barack Obama himself 219 00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:15,240 are the two guys you wanna see whooping ass. 220 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,400 - I'm watching that "Rush Hour" spinoff. 221 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:18,570 - (an impression) Do you understand the words 222 00:09:18,570 --> 00:09:20,419 that are coming out of my mouth? 223 00:09:20,419 --> 00:09:23,659 - Is that Barack Obama? - Is that Barack Obama? 224 00:09:23,659 --> 00:09:25,877 - Or Teddy! It depends! 225 00:09:25,877 --> 00:09:27,973 Let's have a vote, was that Teddy or Barack? 226 00:09:27,973 --> 00:09:30,755 - (an impression) Uh, listen. Uh, do you hear the words 227 00:09:30,755 --> 00:09:32,070 that are, uh, coming out of my mouth? 228 00:09:32,070 --> 00:09:34,806 - Much better. (all cheering) 229 00:09:34,806 --> 00:09:37,035 - Thank you. 230 00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:38,989 - Thank you. - Thank you, thank you. 231 00:09:38,989 --> 00:09:42,450 (jaunty music) 232 00:09:42,450 --> 00:09:43,283 - Hello. 233 00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:46,470 One day, I was driving down Interstate 15, 234 00:09:46,470 --> 00:09:47,973 and I came across a sign, 235 00:09:49,260 --> 00:09:51,780 and that sign led me to the tale 236 00:09:51,780 --> 00:09:55,080 of the strangest American scam you've never heard of. 237 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:56,100 - Whoa. - Ooh. 238 00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:57,870 - Zzyzx, California, 239 00:09:57,870 --> 00:10:00,810 a town located about halfway between Vegas and LA, 240 00:10:00,810 --> 00:10:02,340 right in the middle of the Mojave Desert, 241 00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,170 near Death Valley, the hottest place on Earth. 242 00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:06,090 So who the fuck would build a town here? 243 00:10:06,090 --> 00:10:09,300 This guy. Curtis Howe Springer. 244 00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:11,640 - Who does his hair? - He looks like Paul Simon 245 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,103 got his head stuck in a cotton candy maker. 246 00:10:14,970 --> 00:10:16,680 But that's not important now. 247 00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:19,770 Now, it's important to learn this man's story 248 00:10:19,770 --> 00:10:22,470 as we go back in time. 249 00:10:22,470 --> 00:10:24,120 A young Springer watches 250 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:27,660 as fire and brimstone preachers sweep the nation. 251 00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:30,000 The bigger the crowd, the bigger the payout. 252 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,380 This is what Springer learned. 253 00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:33,330 So this young man gets an idea. 254 00:10:33,330 --> 00:10:35,688 Cut to 1920s Chicago. 255 00:10:35,688 --> 00:10:36,763 Ah! 256 00:10:36,763 --> 00:10:38,521 (accented) It's the most bustling city in the US! 257 00:10:38,521 --> 00:10:39,630 This voice is for you, Trapp. 258 00:10:39,630 --> 00:10:41,760 It's the most bustling city in the US. 259 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:44,100 Springer starts on the lecture circuit, 260 00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:45,510 very popular at the time, 261 00:10:45,510 --> 00:10:48,270 selling himself as a MD and a PhD. 262 00:10:48,270 --> 00:10:50,280 - Whoa. - People jumped at the chance 263 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:53,190 to hear this guy talk about the hot new trend, psychology. 264 00:10:53,190 --> 00:10:55,980 And then, after his free lecture, 265 00:10:55,980 --> 00:11:00,900 they'd sign up for his $25 private psychoanalysis courses. 266 00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:03,270 Four weeks of therapy for about 25 bucks, 267 00:11:03,270 --> 00:11:04,800 which is 430 today. 268 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,300 That's pretty good. 269 00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:09,180 That's a pretty good price for a month of therapy, right? 270 00:11:09,180 --> 00:11:11,400 But he would take the money and skip town. 271 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:14,130 So that was a good grift, right? He's raking it in. 272 00:11:14,130 --> 00:11:17,160 But by the 1930s, the psychology craze had cooled, 273 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,130 and it was replaced by a new trend: 274 00:11:20,130 --> 00:11:21,810 health food! - Ah! 275 00:11:21,810 --> 00:11:23,970 - And the lecture circuit was also dying, 276 00:11:23,970 --> 00:11:26,850 to be replaced by the hottest tech of the time, 277 00:11:26,850 --> 00:11:29,520 the home radio. - Whoa! 278 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:33,960 - So, Springer approaches Chicago's very own WGN 279 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,610 to do a radio show. 280 00:11:35,610 --> 00:11:38,430 WGN replies, oh my god, we're so excited to have you. 281 00:11:38,430 --> 00:11:41,220 You're a doctor. You've got all these degrees and stuff. 282 00:11:41,220 --> 00:11:42,930 We'd be honored to have you on our show. 283 00:11:42,930 --> 00:11:44,460 We're just gonna double check your credentials. 284 00:11:44,460 --> 00:11:46,050 And they found he, of course, (buzz) 285 00:11:46,050 --> 00:11:48,300 had no medical training of any kind. 286 00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:51,330 So they put him on blast and contacted 287 00:11:51,330 --> 00:11:53,370 the American Medical Association. 288 00:11:53,370 --> 00:11:55,770 So the AMA labels him the King of Quacks, 289 00:11:55,770 --> 00:11:56,880 runs him out of town. 290 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,910 - But he gets a title out of it, so that's not bad. 291 00:11:58,910 --> 00:12:00,085 - [Carolyn] Yeah, King of Quacks. 292 00:12:00,085 --> 00:12:03,431 - It was the 20s! I was the King of Quacks! 293 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:05,338 - So it's the 1940s. He's looking for a new start. 294 00:12:05,338 --> 00:12:07,950 He's looking for somewhere full of gullible idiots, 295 00:12:07,950 --> 00:12:09,780 somewhere full of people who will lap up 296 00:12:09,780 --> 00:12:11,070 whatever shit he's selling, 297 00:12:11,070 --> 00:12:13,423 especially if it's about health food. - Utah? 298 00:12:13,423 --> 00:12:14,760 - So obviously- - (gasps) No! 299 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:15,930 - Whoa. - That's us! 300 00:12:15,930 --> 00:12:18,117 - That's my house! - Oh my god! 301 00:12:18,117 --> 00:12:19,920 - I'm doxing Rekha right now. 302 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:22,770 So he moves to Hollywood where, using an old mining law, 303 00:12:22,770 --> 00:12:27,540 he stakes a claim in the Mojave Desert on 12,800 acres, 304 00:12:27,540 --> 00:12:28,950 huge amount of land. 305 00:12:28,950 --> 00:12:30,960 He had big plans, right? 306 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:34,140 WGN had said no, you can't have a radio show, 307 00:12:34,140 --> 00:12:37,680 so he went to the desert and built his own radio station. 308 00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:40,620 He would go, drive to Skid Row in LA, 309 00:12:40,620 --> 00:12:44,220 scoop up unhoused men, drive them out to the desert, 310 00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:45,870 drop them off and say, 311 00:12:45,870 --> 00:12:48,210 "You can either work here as unpaid labor 312 00:12:48,210 --> 00:12:50,220 or find your own way back." - Whoa. 313 00:12:50,220 --> 00:12:52,350 - Okay, so the studio did get built, 314 00:12:52,350 --> 00:12:55,770 and he named the area around it Zzyzx as a marketing gig, 315 00:12:55,770 --> 00:12:57,750 saying he'd have "the last word in health." 316 00:12:57,750 --> 00:12:59,370 He starts his own show 317 00:12:59,370 --> 00:13:03,540 talking about psychology, health food, and religion. 318 00:13:03,540 --> 00:13:07,080 He's selling products that promise, guarantee, 319 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:12,000 to make you externally, internally, and eternally clean. 320 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,830 - Goop? - Yeah, he's definitely 321 00:13:13,830 --> 00:13:15,660 the Gwyneth Paltrow of his day, this guy. 322 00:13:15,660 --> 00:13:19,860 He sold stuff like a $25 self-administered hemorrhoid cure. 323 00:13:19,860 --> 00:13:21,510 His biggest seller was Mo-Hair, 324 00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:24,874 which promised to be the Propecia of its day, but- 325 00:13:24,874 --> 00:13:26,937 (laughing) 326 00:13:26,937 --> 00:13:28,437 All these- - I'm not buying hair 327 00:13:28,437 --> 00:13:30,228 products from that guy! - I don't trust this guy to- 328 00:13:30,228 --> 00:13:34,995 - Yeah, I don't wanna have kinda samosa head. 329 00:13:34,995 --> 00:13:38,054 - He looks like if an Oompa Loompa was also Sling Blade? 330 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,000 - So this is all great, 331 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,950 but what about people who are really sick, 332 00:13:43,950 --> 00:13:45,810 people with cancer, terminal illnesses? 333 00:13:45,810 --> 00:13:47,193 - Boo! 334 00:13:48,750 --> 00:13:50,790 - He had a cure for them too, 335 00:13:50,790 --> 00:13:53,403 but they had to come to Zzyzx's hot springs. 336 00:13:54,327 --> 00:13:55,710 - Oh no. 337 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:58,680 - His listeners all over the country 338 00:13:58,680 --> 00:13:59,940 would spend their whole life savings 339 00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:01,110 to fly out to California 340 00:14:01,110 --> 00:14:04,110 and bask and bathe in these healing waters. 341 00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:04,950 They could lounge. 342 00:14:04,950 --> 00:14:07,290 They could listen to the twice-daily sermons 343 00:14:07,290 --> 00:14:08,610 that he would give over the loudspeakers 344 00:14:08,610 --> 00:14:10,350 that he had sprinkled around the property. 345 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,830 He got so popular that by the 60s, 346 00:14:13,830 --> 00:14:17,250 26% of all US radio stations carried his show. 347 00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:19,933 Like, your grandparents have heard of this man. 348 00:14:19,933 --> 00:14:20,766 - Whoa. 349 00:14:20,766 --> 00:14:24,090 - He lived, for 30 years, literally like a god. 350 00:14:24,090 --> 00:14:25,740 He lived in the desert in a castle 351 00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:28,050 surrounded by worshipers, essentially, 352 00:14:28,050 --> 00:14:31,410 and things might have gone on this way forever, 353 00:14:31,410 --> 00:14:33,630 except even gods need more money. 354 00:14:33,630 --> 00:14:37,650 So he started selling plots of land around Zzyzx, 355 00:14:37,650 --> 00:14:39,870 which immediately alerted the feds. 356 00:14:39,870 --> 00:14:42,900 And they alerted his old friends, 357 00:14:42,900 --> 00:14:44,820 the American Medical Association, 358 00:14:44,820 --> 00:14:46,561 who found 359 00:14:46,561 --> 00:14:48,630 his miracle cures 360 00:14:48,630 --> 00:14:51,000 were mostly just carrot and celery juice, 361 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,800 except for the antediluvian herb tea, 362 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:55,500 which was a crude mix of laxative herbs. 363 00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:57,300 Don't know what was in the hemorrhoid cure. 364 00:14:57,300 --> 00:15:00,180 The feds also realized that his mining claim 365 00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:01,440 was totally invalid. 366 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:02,730 He didn't own the land at all, 367 00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:05,460 'cause he'd never found or even tried to find 368 00:15:05,460 --> 00:15:06,810 any materials to mine there. 369 00:15:06,810 --> 00:15:10,170 And the kicker was, those natural hot springs, 370 00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:12,990 he'd just been running a boiler under some big-ass tubs. 371 00:15:12,990 --> 00:15:14,404 - Whoa! - Yeah. 372 00:15:14,404 --> 00:15:15,480 - That's kinda brilliant. - Good for him. 373 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:19,890 - So in 1974, he was tried, convicted, and arrested. 374 00:15:19,890 --> 00:15:21,567 They got him, folks. (all applauding) 375 00:15:21,567 --> 00:15:23,940 No, no, no, no, no! - Let's hear him out. 376 00:15:23,940 --> 00:15:26,910 - This is America, and the man who had spent his life 377 00:15:26,910 --> 00:15:28,530 tricking people with cancer 378 00:15:28,530 --> 00:15:31,740 served 49 days of a 60-day sentence. 379 00:15:31,740 --> 00:15:32,790 - Oh god. - And then, 380 00:15:32,790 --> 00:15:35,040 even though preaching his whole life 381 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:37,140 about abstinence from alcohol and clean living, 382 00:15:37,140 --> 00:15:41,760 he moved to Las Vegas, where he lived until age 90, 383 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:45,060 and he died a peaceful, happy, rich man. 384 00:15:45,060 --> 00:15:46,950 Don't worry, even though the bad guy got away, 385 00:15:46,950 --> 00:15:49,350 this story actually does have a happy ending, 386 00:15:49,350 --> 00:15:52,650 because this is Zzyzx today. 387 00:15:52,650 --> 00:15:54,870 The whole 12,800 acres were gifted 388 00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:57,480 to a consortium of seven California state schools, 389 00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,210 and the Desert Studies Center was founded. 390 00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:02,910 Today, it's home to rare endangered species, 391 00:16:02,910 --> 00:16:06,150 teams of researchers, and it's even used by NASA 392 00:16:06,150 --> 00:16:08,220 to train for their missions to Mars. 393 00:16:08,220 --> 00:16:10,350 So I think it's really nice that a place 394 00:16:10,350 --> 00:16:12,540 where so many people were lied to for so long 395 00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:16,470 is now used to not only uncover truths about our own world, 396 00:16:16,470 --> 00:16:19,309 but what's waiting for us among the stars. 397 00:16:19,309 --> 00:16:21,326 (all applauding) 398 00:16:21,326 --> 00:16:26,010 - Carolyn, this was extremely enlightening. 399 00:16:26,010 --> 00:16:26,843 - Thank you. 400 00:16:26,843 --> 00:16:29,430 - The feds seemed to only get involved 401 00:16:29,430 --> 00:16:31,740 when there was land acquisition. 402 00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:34,565 - Yeah. - People surely must have died under his care. 403 00:16:34,565 --> 00:16:37,860 - Yes, he was plagued by lawsuits his entire life. 404 00:16:37,860 --> 00:16:39,810 They chased him out of the Midwest, 405 00:16:39,810 --> 00:16:41,820 and he had a ton of lawsuits, 406 00:16:41,820 --> 00:16:44,310 and I think he just was making so much money, 407 00:16:44,310 --> 00:16:46,650 he was able to sweep them under the rug, 408 00:16:46,650 --> 00:16:48,990 much like our own politicians do today. 409 00:16:48,990 --> 00:16:51,450 - Okay, so now, having done the research one this, 410 00:16:51,450 --> 00:16:54,540 and seeing how prolific he was as a liar at this time, 411 00:16:54,540 --> 00:16:56,640 do you think you, in that position, 412 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,490 would have bought into the scam, or no? 413 00:16:59,490 --> 00:17:02,640 - I don't purchase anything. (all applauding) 414 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,173 So, no. 415 00:17:04,173 --> 00:17:06,075 - That's the way to avoid a scam! 416 00:17:06,075 --> 00:17:07,705 - Steal, steal, steal! - Down with capitalism! 417 00:17:07,705 --> 00:17:09,300 - Yeah. - Now, I'm curious, 418 00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:12,870 do you have any crazy cures for ailments yourself, 419 00:17:12,870 --> 00:17:14,640 that you've tried and stand by? 420 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:19,170 - I am a firm believer in toothpaste on pimples. 421 00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:21,150 That definitely works. - Interesting. 422 00:17:21,150 --> 00:17:22,050 - Seconded! - Try it. 423 00:17:22,050 --> 00:17:24,780 Weed for everything, and then- 424 00:17:24,780 --> 00:17:26,580 - Seconded! 425 00:17:26,580 --> 00:17:28,350 - I like to, when I get sick, 426 00:17:28,350 --> 00:17:30,330 I do something that I call cowboy medicine, 427 00:17:30,330 --> 00:17:32,130 which is just a lot of whiskey. 428 00:17:32,130 --> 00:17:33,990 - Thank you so much for enlightening us. 429 00:17:33,990 --> 00:17:37,615 That was really, really incredible. 430 00:17:37,615 --> 00:17:38,531 Thank you. 431 00:17:38,531 --> 00:17:40,553 - Please, take my money! 432 00:17:40,553 --> 00:17:44,147 (jaunty music) 433 00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:45,390 - Thank you, thank you. 434 00:17:45,390 --> 00:17:46,533 Millennium Force. 435 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,550 The Coaster Wars and the Pleasures of Regionalism. 436 00:17:50,550 --> 00:17:52,443 May 11th, 2000. 437 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,560 - [Anchor] First, there's the anticipation, 438 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,393 and then the fear kicks in. 439 00:17:58,350 --> 00:18:01,410 Millennium Force is now the fastest and tallest 440 00:18:01,410 --> 00:18:03,120 roller coaster in the world. 441 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:06,737 It rises 300 feet above the ground, 442 00:18:06,737 --> 00:18:08,970 and then you drop. 443 00:18:08,970 --> 00:18:10,943 (riders screaming) 444 00:18:10,943 --> 00:18:13,200 - Exactly two weeks to the day after that footage 445 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:16,620 was filmed, I was standing at the base of that hill. 446 00:18:16,620 --> 00:18:18,330 My 8th grade class had taken a trip 447 00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:21,390 2 1/2 hours north of my hometown to Ceder Point. 448 00:18:21,390 --> 00:18:22,690 It's 10:45 in the morning. 449 00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:26,700 The early summer sun is burning the last of the haze 450 00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:29,400 off of a sparkling Lake Erie, which is great news, 451 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,950 because rumor has it that from the top of the hill, 452 00:18:31,950 --> 00:18:33,630 you can see all the way to Canada. 453 00:18:33,630 --> 00:18:36,930 A bright yellow train is cresting, 454 00:18:36,930 --> 00:18:40,020 and about to begin its 90 mile an hour drop, 455 00:18:40,020 --> 00:18:42,095 and I am sitting 456 00:18:42,095 --> 00:18:43,404 on this bench. 457 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:48,810 I hadn't gone on. 458 00:18:48,810 --> 00:18:52,200 I was afraid, Rekha. You believe that about a man like me? 459 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,750 As big and strong as I am? It's true. 460 00:18:54,750 --> 00:18:56,940 - Yeah? - I was 13 years old, 461 00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:59,400 and I don't have any pictures of myself from that day, 462 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:00,850 but this is the general idea. 463 00:19:01,921 --> 00:19:03,979 - Oh my god, your legs! 464 00:19:05,689 --> 00:19:07,439 - This guy wipes his ass like this. 465 00:19:09,277 --> 00:19:13,410 - This guy wipes his... (laughing) 466 00:19:13,410 --> 00:19:14,820 - I don't think it should surprise anyone 467 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,700 that most of this guy's friends were girls, so... 468 00:19:19,208 --> 00:19:20,640 Instead of riding the roller coaster, 469 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:23,010 I offered to hold everyone's purses. 470 00:19:23,010 --> 00:19:24,480 - Oh. 471 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:27,540 - There I sat, surrounded by an embarrassment of riches 472 00:19:27,540 --> 00:19:29,280 I was too terrified to collect. 473 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,200 See, we didn't know it at the time, 474 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,830 but my class was there in the middle of the boom times. 475 00:19:34,830 --> 00:19:37,110 The Coaster Wars. 476 00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:38,700 The Coaster Wars were a period 477 00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:41,010 from the late 80s to the mid 2000s, 478 00:19:41,010 --> 00:19:42,570 and they were essentially a marketing battle 479 00:19:42,570 --> 00:19:45,270 when amusement parks all over the world 480 00:19:45,270 --> 00:19:46,260 competed with each other 481 00:19:46,260 --> 00:19:48,300 to have a record-breaking roller coaster. 482 00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:51,570 The tallest, the fastest, the first of its kind. 483 00:19:51,570 --> 00:19:54,480 Ceder Point that year set attendance records 484 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:58,050 and laid a blueprint for amusement parks around the world. 485 00:19:58,050 --> 00:19:59,820 Suddenly, there was a way for these parks 486 00:19:59,820 --> 00:20:02,130 to draw in an audience, and I wanna talk for a minute 487 00:20:02,130 --> 00:20:05,250 about things that Ceder Point is and is not. 488 00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:07,050 Ceder Point is an amusement park. 489 00:20:07,050 --> 00:20:08,820 It is not a theme park. - Mm. 490 00:20:08,820 --> 00:20:10,260 - Mm. - Mm. 491 00:20:10,260 --> 00:20:12,540 - A theme park draws a national, 492 00:20:12,540 --> 00:20:14,100 or even an international market. 493 00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:17,070 It's a resort. It has hotels. 494 00:20:17,070 --> 00:20:20,070 The intention is to stay for many days at a time, 495 00:20:20,070 --> 00:20:23,250 and it quite literally themes its lands 496 00:20:23,250 --> 00:20:26,010 to immerse you in a world unto itself. 497 00:20:26,010 --> 00:20:27,720 It's owned by large corporations 498 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:31,140 that can cross-promote their IP and make you feel 499 00:20:31,140 --> 00:20:33,420 like you're going back and forth in time, 500 00:20:33,420 --> 00:20:36,276 or to the magical land of California. 501 00:20:37,350 --> 00:20:40,140 Amusement parks, 502 00:20:40,140 --> 00:20:43,136 well, they're for big brave boys like me. 503 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:48,360 Amusement parks appeal primarily to a regional audience. 504 00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:51,150 Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey appeals- 505 00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:51,983 - Woo-woo! - That's right! 506 00:20:51,983 --> 00:20:54,660 Appeals to New York and Philadelphia. 507 00:20:54,660 --> 00:20:56,100 Busch Gardens in Williamsburg 508 00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:58,350 appeals to Washington and Richmond. 509 00:20:58,350 --> 00:21:00,930 And amusement parks are a value proposition. 510 00:21:00,930 --> 00:21:02,640 Theming is expensive. - Mm. 511 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,250 - Amusement parks don't have that large corporate backing. 512 00:21:05,250 --> 00:21:07,770 They say, we don't have to immerse you. 513 00:21:07,770 --> 00:21:09,570 We can scare you. 514 00:21:09,570 --> 00:21:10,890 The Coaster Wars had begun, 515 00:21:10,890 --> 00:21:13,950 and suddenly, every year throughout the 90s, 516 00:21:13,950 --> 00:21:16,380 roller coaster records were being set. 517 00:21:16,380 --> 00:21:18,930 Steel Phantom at Kennywood. 518 00:21:18,930 --> 00:21:21,330 Fujiyama at Fuji-Q Highland. 519 00:21:21,330 --> 00:21:23,250 Superman: The Escape. 520 00:21:23,250 --> 00:21:25,500 Pepsi Max The Big One. 521 00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:26,970 And it wasn't just records. 522 00:21:26,970 --> 00:21:28,320 New styles of roller coasters 523 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,030 were being invented every year. 524 00:21:30,030 --> 00:21:33,450 Inverted roller coasters dangled riders below the tracks; 525 00:21:33,450 --> 00:21:35,310 launched roller coasters flung you 526 00:21:35,310 --> 00:21:37,380 out of the station at lightning speeds; 527 00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:39,600 standup roller coasters begged the question, 528 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:43,020 just how far into my vagina will these restraints dig? 529 00:21:43,020 --> 00:21:47,400 It was wonderful, and roller coasters are awesome. 530 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,320 From the ground, they're beautiful. 531 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:52,890 Those colors, those curves. They're intimidating. 532 00:21:52,890 --> 00:21:54,630 That height, that speed. 533 00:21:54,630 --> 00:21:56,460 And once you're onboard, you're at the mercy 534 00:21:56,460 --> 00:21:59,235 of those most fickle muses of all: 535 00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:00,251 physics. 536 00:22:00,251 --> 00:22:04,173 Yes, on a roller coaster, gravity is your mistress. 537 00:22:06,180 --> 00:22:08,490 And she is cruel, as she leads you through 538 00:22:08,490 --> 00:22:11,160 what are known as the thrill elements. 539 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:12,870 Roller coasters can be broken down 540 00:22:12,870 --> 00:22:14,190 into individual components. 541 00:22:14,190 --> 00:22:16,050 The first drop is an element. 542 00:22:16,050 --> 00:22:18,000 A vertical loop is an element. 543 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:21,030 A non-inverting cobra roll is an element. 544 00:22:21,030 --> 00:22:23,940 The difference between a good coaster and a great coaster 545 00:22:23,940 --> 00:22:27,630 is how many forces and what kind of energy 546 00:22:27,630 --> 00:22:29,610 these elements transmit. 547 00:22:29,610 --> 00:22:32,130 Now, we don't have time to go into all of the forces, 548 00:22:32,130 --> 00:22:33,420 but I wanna take a moment 549 00:22:33,420 --> 00:22:35,760 and talk about the greatest gift to the world 550 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:39,630 that the Coaster Wars gave is, which is floater airtime. 551 00:22:39,630 --> 00:22:41,880 Floater airtime is the sensation of being 552 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,960 gently lifted out of your chair on a roller coaster. 553 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:49,380 It occurs between 0 and .9 g-forces, 554 00:22:49,380 --> 00:22:51,840 and that's distinguished from ejector airtime, 555 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,000 which occurs under negative g-conditions 556 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,880 and pulls you up out of your seat. 557 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,250 Where ejector airtime is violent, 558 00:22:59,250 --> 00:23:00,870 floater airtime is graceful, 559 00:23:00,870 --> 00:23:02,940 and it wasn't possible before the Coaster Wars 560 00:23:02,940 --> 00:23:04,410 because of a little trick of history. 561 00:23:04,410 --> 00:23:08,520 The Coaster Wars happened during the computer revolution. 562 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,293 - Oh! - I like computers. 563 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:14,190 - Computer-aided design meant that engineers 564 00:23:14,190 --> 00:23:17,040 could very precisely program in forces 565 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:18,780 over the course of a ride. 566 00:23:18,780 --> 00:23:20,940 When drawing a roller coaster by hand, 567 00:23:20,940 --> 00:23:23,610 floater airtime is very hard to come by. 568 00:23:23,610 --> 00:23:28,560 But now, you can ride over the crest of an airtime hill, 569 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:32,190 and for just a moment, you can fly. 570 00:23:32,190 --> 00:23:36,210 Slip the surly bonds of Earth and touch the face of God, 571 00:23:36,210 --> 00:23:37,620 to quote the great Ronald Reagan. 572 00:23:37,620 --> 00:23:38,620 Am I right, Rekha? 573 00:23:39,750 --> 00:23:41,310 Whenever I meet someone from Ohio, 574 00:23:41,310 --> 00:23:43,050 they'll say one of two things to me. 575 00:23:43,050 --> 00:23:44,940 They'll say, "Hey, Ceder Point." 576 00:23:44,940 --> 00:23:48,447 Or they'll say, "Hey, my name's Drew Carey. What's yours?" 577 00:23:49,770 --> 00:23:51,630 The reason for that is pretty simple. 578 00:23:51,630 --> 00:23:55,020 There is fuck-all to do in Ohio. 579 00:23:55,020 --> 00:23:57,270 Now, there's plenty to do in my hometown of Columbus. 580 00:23:57,270 --> 00:23:58,103 There's plenty to do 581 00:23:58,103 --> 00:24:00,360 in my mom's farm town of Ridgeville Corners. 582 00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:02,910 But what those two things have in common 583 00:24:02,910 --> 00:24:04,770 isn't always great for conversation. 584 00:24:04,770 --> 00:24:07,020 You've got sports. You've got politics. 585 00:24:07,020 --> 00:24:08,820 They invite partisanship. 586 00:24:08,820 --> 00:24:11,880 You've got the weather, Paul, but who gives a fuck? 587 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,550 You've got cities and you've got nature, 588 00:24:14,550 --> 00:24:17,490 but cities and nature are all experienced as individuals, 589 00:24:17,490 --> 00:24:20,550 whereas at an amusement park, there's really only one way 590 00:24:20,550 --> 00:24:23,130 to experience things, and that's to ride the ride, 591 00:24:23,130 --> 00:24:25,143 or to sit next to it holding purses. 592 00:24:26,250 --> 00:24:28,500 We didn't get to take a lot of vacations when I was a kid. 593 00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:30,090 I'm the son of a nurse and a bookkeeper. 594 00:24:30,090 --> 00:24:30,923 We couldn't afford it. 595 00:24:30,923 --> 00:24:34,890 But we went to Ceder Point a lot, and it was special enough 596 00:24:34,890 --> 00:24:37,650 that I never felt cheated out of a summer. 597 00:24:37,650 --> 00:24:38,940 A nice end to this story would've been 598 00:24:38,940 --> 00:24:42,120 that I had gone on Millennium Force later that day. 599 00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:42,953 I didn't. 600 00:24:44,130 --> 00:24:47,130 I went on years later, and I gotta tell you, 601 00:24:47,130 --> 00:24:50,143 it's mid. (all laughing) 602 00:24:52,830 --> 00:24:54,570 There's a reason we enthusiasts 603 00:24:54,570 --> 00:24:58,830 all call it Millennium Forceless, but anyone who's seen it 604 00:24:58,830 --> 00:25:01,020 remembers seeing it for the first time. 605 00:25:01,020 --> 00:25:01,980 It's special. 606 00:25:01,980 --> 00:25:04,230 You know, the great irony of the Coaster Wars is that 607 00:25:04,230 --> 00:25:06,630 amusement parks don't really compete with one another. 608 00:25:06,630 --> 00:25:08,400 Canada's Wonderland in Ontario 609 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:11,040 doesn't compete with Nagashima Spa Land in Japan. 610 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:11,910 - Spa Land? 611 00:25:11,910 --> 00:25:14,100 - Nagashima Spa Land. That's right. 612 00:25:14,100 --> 00:25:16,950 - Nagashima Spa Land? - In Japan. 613 00:25:16,950 --> 00:25:20,220 - Nagashima- - Spa Land, which is in Japan. 614 00:25:20,220 --> 00:25:22,888 - Which is- - The Nagashima Spa Land. 615 00:25:24,030 --> 00:25:25,440 When these parks break records, 616 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:28,560 they do it to say to people who live nearby, 617 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,780 "You don't have to travel far. 618 00:25:30,780 --> 00:25:32,190 Right here is special." 619 00:25:32,190 --> 00:25:33,390 That's tough to come by 620 00:25:33,390 --> 00:25:35,700 in places where there's fuck-all to do, 621 00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:37,620 and pride of place is important, 622 00:25:37,620 --> 00:25:39,320 and Millennium Force, we had that. 623 00:25:40,290 --> 00:25:42,090 It was the dawn of a golden age. 624 00:25:42,090 --> 00:25:44,550 It was the dawn of a new millennium. 625 00:25:44,550 --> 00:25:45,693 - Wow. - Mm. 626 00:25:47,370 --> 00:25:50,640 - Thank you very much. (all applauding) 627 00:25:53,147 --> 00:25:55,620 - Grant, a very base question. 628 00:25:55,620 --> 00:25:58,680 What is your current favorite roller coaster? 629 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:02,580 - It's at Ceder Point. It's called Steel Vengeance. 630 00:26:02,580 --> 00:26:05,340 They converted an old Dinn Corporation roller coaster, 631 00:26:05,340 --> 00:26:08,280 which was called Mean Streak, which had a wooden frame, 632 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:11,940 into an I-box track, which is a hybrid of wood and steel. 633 00:26:11,940 --> 00:26:14,190 Lots of great airtime on Steel Vengeance. 634 00:26:14,190 --> 00:26:15,360 - When I go on a roller coaster, 635 00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:17,220 it's because I want to experience 636 00:26:17,220 --> 00:26:18,660 the thrill of being high up in the sky, 637 00:26:18,660 --> 00:26:19,950 but you're already tall, 638 00:26:19,950 --> 00:26:23,223 so when you go on a roller coaster, what that for? 639 00:26:24,570 --> 00:26:27,270 - Demi, I gotta tell you, when I'm on a roller coaster, 640 00:26:27,270 --> 00:26:31,020 I go on to have my mind go empty and to say, 641 00:26:31,020 --> 00:26:33,240 "Take me away, gravity, I'm yours." 642 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,160 - Oh, I smoke weed for that. - Wow. 643 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:38,100 - Who fired the first shot of the Coaster Wars, 644 00:26:38,100 --> 00:26:39,180 and what ended them? 645 00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:42,270 - Dick Kinzel was the president of Ceder Point in 1989, 646 00:26:42,270 --> 00:26:43,470 who commissioned the Magnum. 647 00:26:43,470 --> 00:26:47,760 The last time the height record was broken was in 2005, 648 00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:52,760 with Kingda Ka at Six Flags Great Adventure, which is mid. 649 00:26:53,127 --> 00:26:55,230 - All mid. - But what really stopped it 650 00:26:55,230 --> 00:26:57,513 was the financial crisis of 2008. 651 00:26:57,513 --> 00:26:59,213 - Oh. - See, I was beginning to think 652 00:26:59,213 --> 00:27:00,930 that crisis didn't affect anybody. 653 00:27:00,930 --> 00:27:02,400 - Yeah, now we see. 654 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:03,800 - It affected the most important people in the world. 655 00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:06,990 - At least it ended this terrible, terrible war! 656 00:27:06,990 --> 00:27:09,360 - I've experienced a few different of the gimmick, 657 00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:11,190 the lie down, the stand up. - Sure. 658 00:27:11,190 --> 00:27:12,590 - The backwards, the launch. - Sure. 659 00:27:12,590 --> 00:27:14,493 - Of the non-traditional coasters, 660 00:27:15,330 --> 00:27:17,250 what element is your favorite? - Oof. 661 00:27:17,250 --> 00:27:20,970 - And is your height, which is disgusting, 662 00:27:20,970 --> 00:27:24,450 is it at all an issue on any coasters for you, ever? 663 00:27:24,450 --> 00:27:27,030 - What a fabulous twofer. 664 00:27:27,030 --> 00:27:29,730 My favorite of the non-traditional models 665 00:27:29,730 --> 00:27:32,730 is an inverted roller coaster, when your feet are dangling, 666 00:27:32,730 --> 00:27:34,650 because plenty of room for Grant. 667 00:27:34,650 --> 00:27:36,450 - Yeah! 668 00:27:36,450 --> 00:27:39,618 - A book I don't wanna read, a movie I don't wanna see. 669 00:27:39,618 --> 00:27:42,030 - There's plenty of room for Grant in there. 670 00:27:42,030 --> 00:27:45,480 - I, not to rock the boat a little bit, 671 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,280 really dislike roller coasters. 672 00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:48,450 - Boo. 673 00:27:48,450 --> 00:27:50,078 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 674 00:27:50,078 --> 00:27:52,020 No, no, no! That's fine, that's fine! 675 00:27:52,020 --> 00:27:53,389 - Are you bringing me in? What do I do? 676 00:27:53,389 --> 00:27:55,500 - One of the joys of roller coasters 677 00:27:55,500 --> 00:27:59,160 is that there's an element of conquest to them. 678 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,200 They're frightening and people do them anyway, 679 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:03,450 so you not riding roller coasters 680 00:28:03,450 --> 00:28:06,690 actually enhances the experience for everyone. 681 00:28:06,690 --> 00:28:08,730 - What don't you like about roller coasters? 682 00:28:08,730 --> 00:28:10,920 - I find them nauseating. 683 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:14,100 I don't like the feeling of feeling like my organs 684 00:28:14,100 --> 00:28:15,480 are gonna come out of my butthole 685 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:16,710 when you go down a drop. 686 00:28:16,710 --> 00:28:19,743 - I say all of that about you. - Aw! 687 00:28:19,743 --> 00:28:22,153 (Demi laughs) 688 00:28:22,153 --> 00:28:23,700 - I've ridden literally one roller coaster 689 00:28:23,700 --> 00:28:24,570 that was, I would probably say, 690 00:28:24,570 --> 00:28:27,330 like a junior's department roller coaster. 691 00:28:27,330 --> 00:28:29,880 I think it was the Avalanche at Busch Gardens. 692 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,688 - Mm. - What is the next level up, if you had to name one? 693 00:28:32,688 --> 00:28:34,890 If I could just inch a little bit further 694 00:28:34,890 --> 00:28:36,000 in my roller coaster journey? 695 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:38,853 - There's a Swiss manufacturer named B&M. 696 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:44,010 They are known for very, very smooth roller coasters. 697 00:28:44,010 --> 00:28:45,540 If the nausea's a problem for you, 698 00:28:45,540 --> 00:28:48,420 what you want is not a lot of motion in the track. 699 00:28:48,420 --> 00:28:50,580 You want a real sturdy roller coaster. 700 00:28:50,580 --> 00:28:54,090 They've patented a kind of track where it's full of sand, 701 00:28:54,090 --> 00:28:56,666 which really keeps it in place, somehow. 702 00:28:56,666 --> 00:28:58,560 A B&M is gonna be your next move, Rekha. 703 00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,233 - A B&M full of sand. - That's right. 704 00:29:00,233 --> 00:29:02,370 - Okay, I like that. 705 00:29:02,370 --> 00:29:04,140 - Looking at that photo of your legs, 706 00:29:04,140 --> 00:29:06,780 I'm wondering how your able to move without starting fires 707 00:29:06,780 --> 00:29:09,120 by those big getaway sticks rubbing together. 708 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:12,841 - There is a fire. (all laughing) 709 00:29:13,890 --> 00:29:14,970 It's shooting out of it. 710 00:29:14,970 --> 00:29:17,160 - Well, Grant, this was very enlightening. 711 00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:19,297 - Thank you, thank you. - Thank you so much. 712 00:29:19,297 --> 00:29:21,999 - Thank you, everyone. Thank you. 713 00:29:21,999 --> 00:29:25,140 (jaunty music) 714 00:29:25,140 --> 00:29:28,202 - I stand before you today, 715 00:29:28,202 --> 00:29:29,340 tired. 716 00:29:29,340 --> 00:29:30,840 I'm exhausted. 717 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:33,450 Exhausted by what, you ask? Nothing! 718 00:29:33,450 --> 00:29:37,470 I am tired simply on its own merits, because I'm a night owl 719 00:29:37,470 --> 00:29:41,160 and I'm living in an early bird's world, and I'm sick of it! 720 00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:44,100 Morning people are an oppressive class. 721 00:29:44,100 --> 00:29:46,140 - Wow. - Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 722 00:29:46,140 --> 00:29:47,253 - Okay. 723 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,480 - People who are more likely to be awake at night 724 00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:54,810 have been dubbed night owls, and those who are more likely 725 00:29:54,810 --> 00:29:58,320 to be morning people are called early birds. 726 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,720 These are often referred to as different chronotypes, 727 00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:02,730 which I think sounds like a fancy type of watch. 728 00:30:02,730 --> 00:30:06,870 These types are established by so many different factors, 729 00:30:06,870 --> 00:30:09,510 and I know one of the major factors 730 00:30:09,510 --> 00:30:12,960 you're going to describe, you're going to bring up is, 731 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:14,670 of course, you're all gonna say it- 732 00:30:14,670 --> 00:30:15,960 - Beyonce outfit change! 733 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:19,920 - The suprachiasmatic nucleus. You all know this one. 734 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:21,780 - Yes. - Not only am I comedian, 735 00:30:21,780 --> 00:30:24,360 I'm also a biomedical engineer with four degrees, 736 00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:27,600 and limited life experience. 737 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,180 Thank you, thank you. (all applauding) 738 00:30:30,180 --> 00:30:31,770 Don't tell my parents I'm here. 739 00:30:31,770 --> 00:30:36,240 The suprachiasmatic nucleus, also known as the SCN, 740 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:39,180 is a bundle of about 20,000 neurons 741 00:30:39,180 --> 00:30:42,000 located in the hypothalamus of the brain, 742 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:45,630 and it is responsible for our circadian rhythms, okay? 743 00:30:45,630 --> 00:30:50,630 The SCN tells our bodies when to make melatonin! 744 00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:54,600 See, during the day, the eye receives sunlight, 745 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:56,640 which inhibits the production of melatonin 746 00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,400 through the optic nerve and the SCN, and then at night, 747 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:02,490 it produces more melatonin, which causes us to sleep. 748 00:31:02,490 --> 00:31:05,730 These rhythms not only are regulated through this process, 749 00:31:05,730 --> 00:31:07,380 but also through our genes. 750 00:31:07,380 --> 00:31:10,380 Let me break it down in dummy terms, okay? 751 00:31:10,380 --> 00:31:14,970 There are some things that affect how well you sleep, 752 00:31:14,970 --> 00:31:16,811 such as: 753 00:31:16,811 --> 00:31:18,900 your age, your occupation, 754 00:31:18,900 --> 00:31:20,970 your environment, your lifestyle, 755 00:31:20,970 --> 00:31:25,500 your medical conditions and, chicka-chicka, sex! 756 00:31:25,500 --> 00:31:28,890 Sex can cause a decrease in stress hormones, 757 00:31:28,890 --> 00:31:30,390 which allows you to sleep better. 758 00:31:30,390 --> 00:31:32,220 So hey, kids. 759 00:31:32,220 --> 00:31:35,040 Fuck more. It'll make you stay in school, okay? 760 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:36,006 - Not kids. 761 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:40,050 - So all of these things affect our sleep, 762 00:31:40,050 --> 00:31:44,250 which affects our cardiovascular health, our mental health, 763 00:31:44,250 --> 00:31:46,560 your relationships with your friends and family, Pallavi. 764 00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:48,870 Sorry, that was from an intervention 765 00:31:48,870 --> 00:31:51,030 I had scheduled for later. 766 00:31:51,030 --> 00:31:55,260 Trying to force a night owl into a morning bird lifestyle 767 00:31:55,260 --> 00:31:56,700 is wrong. - Wow. 768 00:31:56,700 --> 00:31:58,440 - A study I don't know the validity of, 769 00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:01,590 I'm gonna be honest, showed that morning birds 770 00:32:01,590 --> 00:32:04,320 actually performed cognitively worse, 771 00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:06,870 but better academically. 772 00:32:06,870 --> 00:32:08,970 So us night owls are smarter, 773 00:32:08,970 --> 00:32:11,730 but we didn't do as well in school. 774 00:32:11,730 --> 00:32:15,130 Seems like it's time to throw out the syllabus. 775 00:32:15,130 --> 00:32:16,380 - Whoa. - Outfit change! 776 00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:20,493 Wait, what? Those are my cards! 777 00:32:22,064 --> 00:32:23,731 It's not a syllabus. 778 00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:28,530 - The scientific conclusion that I can reach is that 779 00:32:28,530 --> 00:32:30,480 we are being discriminated against. 780 00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,330 There are so many different factors that affect sleep, 781 00:32:33,330 --> 00:32:35,160 but society puts all of these on us. 782 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:36,870 There are stereotypes of night owls, 783 00:32:36,870 --> 00:32:38,580 that we don't exercise enough; 784 00:32:38,580 --> 00:32:40,050 maybe we would sleep better. 785 00:32:40,050 --> 00:32:42,330 Maybe we're just not disciplined enough. 786 00:32:42,330 --> 00:32:45,720 Maybe we like the nightlife too much. 787 00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:47,700 That brings me to my next point. 788 00:32:47,700 --> 00:32:51,360 (tearfully) The thing is, I have my own personality flaws. 789 00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:52,516 - No! - No! 790 00:32:52,516 --> 00:32:53,939 - No, I do. - No! 791 00:32:53,939 --> 00:32:56,305 Other people, but not you! - I do! Me, Pallavi! 792 00:32:56,305 --> 00:33:00,180 I do, okay? These are the things that are wrong with me! 793 00:33:00,180 --> 00:33:03,090 One, I'm a PhD dropout, okay? 794 00:33:03,090 --> 00:33:06,169 - Dropout! - Dropout! Hey, Dropout! 795 00:33:06,169 --> 00:33:09,111 Dropout.tv! - Dropout! Dropout! 796 00:33:09,111 --> 00:33:10,710 Dropout! Dropout! 797 00:33:10,710 --> 00:33:13,016 - It's only a small amount of money! 798 00:33:14,430 --> 00:33:16,140 - I bring up sad current events at parties 799 00:33:16,140 --> 00:33:18,390 'cause I think it's fun and important to talk about. 800 00:33:18,390 --> 00:33:21,630 I unironically love "Fight Club". 801 00:33:21,630 --> 00:33:26,010 And I once was proud that I made a salad bar in my own bed. 802 00:33:26,010 --> 00:33:27,630 - Wow. - Yeah, it was COVID. 803 00:33:27,630 --> 00:33:29,970 We were all experimenting with cooking. 804 00:33:29,970 --> 00:33:33,720 Look, there are all these societal burdens and expectations 805 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,910 of being a night owl, things that inconvenience us 806 00:33:35,910 --> 00:33:37,890 that you would never even think of. 807 00:33:37,890 --> 00:33:40,860 Historically, construction has never, 808 00:33:40,860 --> 00:33:42,390 in the entire existence of human history, 809 00:33:42,390 --> 00:33:44,190 started after 9 AM. 810 00:33:44,190 --> 00:33:45,390 Think about that, hm? 811 00:33:45,390 --> 00:33:48,090 What about those of us with immigrant moms? 812 00:33:48,090 --> 00:33:50,700 - Yeah, Poorna Jagannathan is basically my mom. 813 00:33:50,700 --> 00:33:53,670 - I know. She raised me. - Hello! 814 00:33:53,670 --> 00:33:56,940 - What about when they have to call the homeland, you know? 815 00:33:56,940 --> 00:33:58,080 Back when we were growing up, 816 00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:00,196 when the landlines were terrible in our mother countries. 817 00:34:00,196 --> 00:34:02,003 - You had to use Reliance India. 818 00:34:02,003 --> 00:34:05,587 - Hearing your mom go, "Hello! How are you?!" 819 00:34:05,587 --> 00:34:08,220 at 6 AM on your one day to sleep in? 820 00:34:08,220 --> 00:34:11,660 - That put something in my... 821 00:34:14,121 --> 00:34:15,350 - I'm sorry, what did it do? 822 00:34:15,350 --> 00:34:19,882 - I was like, I'm irritated, because that is my mom. 823 00:34:19,882 --> 00:34:23,000 - Hello! (Rekha screams) 824 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,311 Scheduling appointments. 825 00:34:24,311 --> 00:34:26,343 Doctor's appointments, dentist appointments. 826 00:34:26,343 --> 00:34:29,040 Does it happen at 10 PM when I'm wide awake? 827 00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:31,140 No, it happens at 8 AM. 828 00:34:31,140 --> 00:34:33,870 And what does this cause me to do? Say it with me. 829 00:34:33,870 --> 00:34:37,350 Fall asleep with the dentist's hands in my mouth. 830 00:34:37,350 --> 00:34:40,140 No, just me? Okay, all right. 831 00:34:40,140 --> 00:34:42,093 And that brings me to the fact that we know 832 00:34:42,093 --> 00:34:46,440 that night people have been systematically oppressed, okay? 833 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,930 In terms of our health, our opportunities, 834 00:34:48,930 --> 00:34:49,800 our financial gain. 835 00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:51,840 Life, liberty, the pursuit of sleepiness. 836 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,660 We have to define whether this makes us an oppressed people. 837 00:34:54,660 --> 00:34:57,570 Oppression, defined as a cruel or unjust treatment of 838 00:34:57,570 --> 00:34:59,616 or power over a group of individuals. 839 00:34:59,616 --> 00:35:02,772 - Oh! (all laughing) 840 00:35:02,772 --> 00:35:04,966 - That's what I've been doing! 841 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,820 Finally, a name to the thing I do on weekends. 842 00:35:08,820 --> 00:35:10,896 - Trapp, please see me after class. 843 00:35:12,513 --> 00:35:13,590 - It's good! 844 00:35:13,590 --> 00:35:16,890 - It can be exercised through state-controlled power, 845 00:35:16,890 --> 00:35:18,450 or through cultural acceptance. 846 00:35:18,450 --> 00:35:20,910 Have I not shown you the physical and mental distress 847 00:35:20,910 --> 00:35:24,330 imposed upon night owls living in an early bird world? 848 00:35:24,330 --> 00:35:26,730 Are we not suffering at the hands of the powerful? 849 00:35:26,730 --> 00:35:27,780 You know what I'm talking about. 850 00:35:27,780 --> 00:35:30,390 The post office managers and construction workers; 851 00:35:30,390 --> 00:35:33,030 the insurance agents and customer service offices. 852 00:35:33,030 --> 00:35:35,340 These demonical structures that are fighting us. 853 00:35:35,340 --> 00:35:39,930 Say I just have an absolutely religious belief 854 00:35:39,930 --> 00:35:41,760 that I should be able to send emails 855 00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:44,043 at 3 AM without feeling shame. 856 00:35:45,090 --> 00:35:46,050 What about that? 857 00:35:46,050 --> 00:35:49,050 Sometimes, a "U up?" text, it just means simply, 858 00:35:49,050 --> 00:35:53,460 are you up to communicate with me for working on a project, 859 00:35:53,460 --> 00:35:57,540 or perhaps to email my presentation to Dropout TV? 860 00:35:57,540 --> 00:35:59,820 Maybe I just needed to work on this at night, 861 00:35:59,820 --> 00:36:01,680 when my brain is at its peak. 862 00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:06,120 I know you're thinking, are morning people that bad? 863 00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,250 Yes, because Audre Lorde, 864 00:36:08,250 --> 00:36:11,160 an activist, an author, a breast cancer survivor, 865 00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,770 has stated, "There is no hierarchy of oppression. 866 00:36:13,770 --> 00:36:15,750 We have to fight all oppression." 867 00:36:15,750 --> 00:36:17,670 Maybe you think this is more applicable 868 00:36:17,670 --> 00:36:19,410 to marginalized communities. 869 00:36:19,410 --> 00:36:21,240 You know, queer people, different races, 870 00:36:21,240 --> 00:36:23,160 different classes and so forth, 871 00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:25,874 but I posit this to you today. 872 00:36:25,874 --> 00:36:27,270 I'm tired, okay? 873 00:36:27,270 --> 00:36:29,763 I'm just, like, a sleepy little guy, you know? 874 00:36:31,110 --> 00:36:33,480 And I'd rather be napping than be here, 875 00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:36,570 but I'm here to advocate for my people, all right, 876 00:36:36,570 --> 00:36:39,273 in this world of disgusting day-walkers. 877 00:36:40,230 --> 00:36:44,850 I take you to another one of my heroes, James Baldwin, okay? 878 00:36:44,850 --> 00:36:48,720 He said, "Not everything that is faced can be changed, 879 00:36:48,720 --> 00:36:51,750 but nothing can be changed until it is faced." 880 00:36:51,750 --> 00:36:53,280 I agree. Do you agree? - I agree. 881 00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:54,113 - Oh, absolutely. - Sure. 882 00:36:54,113 --> 00:36:54,946 - [Pallavi] Okay, good. 883 00:36:54,946 --> 00:36:55,920 - Trapp doesn't agree with that. 884 00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:56,753 - Hmm. 885 00:37:00,240 --> 00:37:02,310 James Baldwin also said, 886 00:37:02,310 --> 00:37:05,460 "The most dangerous creation of any society 887 00:37:05,460 --> 00:37:07,221 is the man who has nothing to lose." 888 00:37:07,221 --> 00:37:08,054 - Mm. - Mm. 889 00:37:08,054 --> 00:37:08,887 - Mm. - Mm. 890 00:37:08,887 --> 00:37:11,130 - I disagree. (Rekha gasps) 891 00:37:11,130 --> 00:37:15,360 I say the most dangerous creation of any society 892 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:19,160 is a nonbinary bisexual who has lost all of her sleep. 893 00:37:20,190 --> 00:37:25,190 Thank you. Trapp, clap! (all applauding) 894 00:37:25,216 --> 00:37:26,670 Thank you. 895 00:37:26,670 --> 00:37:31,020 Here I am, okay, spotlight above me, 896 00:37:31,020 --> 00:37:33,600 wind blowing my hair like Beyonce, 897 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,300 a crescendo of music, not too patriotic, 898 00:37:36,300 --> 00:37:38,190 playing behind me. (inspirational music) 899 00:37:38,190 --> 00:37:41,130 I've spent so much of my life being told I'm tired, 900 00:37:41,130 --> 00:37:44,160 I'm lazy, wake up, it's time for school, okay? 901 00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:47,880 I'm sick of it. I deserve to perform at peak capacity. 902 00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:49,380 I deserve to take a nap. 903 00:37:49,380 --> 00:37:51,870 I deserve to live in a world where night owls 904 00:37:51,870 --> 00:37:53,670 are respected as much as early birds. 905 00:37:53,670 --> 00:37:55,620 Venues open 24/7. 906 00:37:55,620 --> 00:37:58,140 Night owl doctors allowing for night owl appointments 907 00:37:58,140 --> 00:38:01,440 in their night owl clinics any time of the day, okay? 908 00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:05,910 I deserve to be judged by the content of my character, 909 00:38:05,910 --> 00:38:09,600 and not the social condition of my chronotype. 910 00:38:11,340 --> 00:38:13,500 As Angela Davis said, 911 00:38:13,500 --> 00:38:16,800 "I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. 912 00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:18,780 I am changing the things I cannot accept." 913 00:38:18,780 --> 00:38:21,540 And as I have said, 914 00:38:21,540 --> 00:38:22,950 wake up, sheeple. 915 00:38:22,950 --> 00:38:27,330 It's nighttime, bitches. (all applauding; music crescendos) 916 00:38:27,330 --> 00:38:30,980 - Oh my god! Pallavi, wow. 917 00:38:31,885 --> 00:38:33,300 That was really enlightening. 918 00:38:33,300 --> 00:38:37,680 You know, I'm a day-walking ally over here. 919 00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:38,513 - Okay. 920 00:38:38,513 --> 00:38:42,330 - How can day-walkers be of help to night-walkers? 921 00:38:42,330 --> 00:38:44,520 - Maybe just, like, don't be so chirpy all the time. 922 00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:45,353 You know what I mean? 923 00:38:45,353 --> 00:38:48,810 It's kind of triggering to me that you wake up 924 00:38:48,810 --> 00:38:50,580 and you're in a good mood, you know what I mean? 925 00:38:50,580 --> 00:38:52,735 Just think about who you're talking to and when, you know? 926 00:38:52,735 --> 00:38:54,090 - Should I try to be in a bad mood? 927 00:38:54,090 --> 00:38:57,150 - Yeah, that would make me feel a lot better, actually. 928 00:38:57,150 --> 00:38:59,947 - Hi there. Night owl, but very day-curious. 929 00:38:59,947 --> 00:39:00,780 - Oh! 930 00:39:00,780 --> 00:39:02,130 - What would you say is the night owl flag? 931 00:39:02,130 --> 00:39:02,963 What does that look like? 932 00:39:02,963 --> 00:39:06,300 - That is probably a 7-Eleven receipt from 1 AM. 933 00:39:06,300 --> 00:39:08,220 - Mm, yes. - You know? 934 00:39:08,220 --> 00:39:13,220 With just Diet Coke, some very non-nutritious things 935 00:39:13,290 --> 00:39:14,370 from snacking at night. 936 00:39:14,370 --> 00:39:16,350 - Do you have some sort of revolution in mind 937 00:39:16,350 --> 00:39:19,440 for how we're gonna overturn this oppression? 938 00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:21,060 'Cause I wanna support you, if possible. 939 00:39:21,060 --> 00:39:24,570 - We should have sleepy representatives, you know? 940 00:39:24,570 --> 00:39:27,600 I hate sleepy Joe Biden not because of his sleepiness, 941 00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:28,860 but because of other reasons. 942 00:39:28,860 --> 00:39:32,049 I think his sleepiness is actually great for me. 943 00:39:32,049 --> 00:39:34,080 I think it's good representation, okay? 944 00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:36,180 - So, I mean, if we're shifting- 945 00:39:36,180 --> 00:39:38,010 - Demi, wait, hold on a second. I just... 946 00:39:38,010 --> 00:39:39,930 If you're mid nap, I don't wanna interrupt you. 947 00:39:39,930 --> 00:39:41,730 - I'm about to nap. - Okay, okay. 948 00:39:41,730 --> 00:39:43,740 Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, go ahead, mm-hm. 949 00:39:43,740 --> 00:39:44,573 - I'm gonna take my glasses off, 950 00:39:44,573 --> 00:39:46,193 'cause I can't nap with them on. 951 00:39:47,340 --> 00:39:50,010 Now, I mean, if we're shifting the schedule of everything, 952 00:39:50,010 --> 00:39:51,120 does that mean construction's 953 00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,352 gonna start later and go into the night? 954 00:39:53,352 --> 00:39:55,830 - Oh, someone's always gonna be inconvenienced. 955 00:39:55,830 --> 00:39:58,050 - Someone is, and I think we should all take turns. 956 00:39:58,050 --> 00:40:00,630 - How am I supposed to club over the sounds of drilling? 957 00:40:00,630 --> 00:40:02,610 - That's the sounds of drilling over drilling, 958 00:40:02,610 --> 00:40:03,522 and I love it. 959 00:40:03,522 --> 00:40:04,963 - Okay, I like that. - Okay! 960 00:40:04,963 --> 00:40:07,410 - Let's stop constructing. We did it all. 961 00:40:07,410 --> 00:40:09,870 - Yeah, we've built enough. - We already did it all. 962 00:40:09,870 --> 00:40:12,510 - Everybody, if you could just take it down, Demi's napping. 963 00:40:12,510 --> 00:40:14,820 - So sorry. (Demi pretending to snore) 964 00:40:14,820 --> 00:40:18,330 Okay, wow. Pallavi, this was absolutely incredible. 965 00:40:18,330 --> 00:40:20,349 Thank you so much for enlightening us. 966 00:40:20,349 --> 00:40:21,330 (all applauding softly) 967 00:40:21,330 --> 00:40:25,682 - [Pallavi] Thank you. (Demi mumbling sleepily) 968 00:40:25,682 --> 00:40:28,498 (jaunty music) 969 00:40:29,580 --> 00:40:31,680 - And with that, our secret meeting 970 00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:34,530 of the Smartypants Society must come to an end. 971 00:40:34,530 --> 00:40:36,600 Let us venture back into the shadows, 972 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:39,360 a little more enlightened than we were before. 973 00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:41,040 Thank you, and goodnight. 974 00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:46,040 (all applauding) (jaunty music) 975 00:40:50,958 --> 00:40:54,375 (jaunty music continues)