"Wait Till Your Father Gets Home" Alice's Dress

1 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:06,147 - No brassiere? - Absolutely not. 2 00:00:06,347 --> 00:00:08,898 I agreed to go and I'll go, 3 00:00:09,098 --> 00:00:10,883 but this is what I'll be wearing. 4 00:00:11,165 --> 00:00:12,950 Now, you don't seem to understand. 5 00:00:13,150 --> 00:00:14,725 This is a very refined affair. 6 00:00:14,925 --> 00:00:17,987 It is not a stag smoker with you stepping out of a cake. 7 00:00:18,187 --> 00:00:20,913 Why do you have such a hang up on the human body? 8 00:00:21,113 --> 00:00:23,405 <i>Adam and Eve didn't wear any clothes.</i> 9 00:00:23,605 --> 00:00:25,525 They had better weather. 10 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:33,121 <i>I love my mom and dad and my brothers too.</i> 11 00:00:33,321 --> 00:00:36,083 <i>And the groovy way we get along.</i> 12 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,805 <i>Every time the slightest little thing goes wrong,</i> 13 00:00:40,005 --> 00:00:43,092 <i>my mom starts to sing this familiar song.</i> 14 00:00:43,292 --> 00:00:47,323 <i>Wait till your father gets Until your father gets.</i> 15 00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:48,978 <i>Wait till your father gets home.</i> 16 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:53,527 <i>Dad's not so bad and he seldom gets mad.</i> 17 00:00:53,727 --> 00:00:56,648 <i>And we aren't about to desert him.</i> 18 00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:00,463 <i>Kids today like to have their own way.</i> 19 00:01:00,663 --> 00:01:03,244 <i>And what Daddy doesn't know won't hurt him.</i> 20 00:01:03,444 --> 00:01:05,520 <i>I think my mom's just swell.</i> 21 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:10,233 <i>- But she starts to yell. - Every time we have a fuss.</i> 22 00:01:10,655 --> 00:01:14,616 Just wait till your father gets. Until your father gets. 23 00:01:14,816 --> 00:01:16,764 <i>Wait till your father gets home.</i> 24 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,094 <i>See what I mean?</i> 25 00:01:18,294 --> 00:01:20,322 <i>Wait till your father gets home.</i> 26 00:01:20,522 --> 00:01:21,923 <i>We know.</i> 27 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:29,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 28 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:40,328 This is the big night, Harry, the big night. 29 00:01:40,528 --> 00:01:43,264 How does it feel to be riding with the next Man of the Year? 30 00:01:43,464 --> 00:01:46,466 Well, how can you be so sure the lodge is honoring you? 31 00:01:46,666 --> 00:01:48,402 How can they help it? They picked the guy 32 00:01:48,502 --> 00:01:50,093 who's done the most for lodge in country, right? 33 00:01:50,293 --> 00:01:51,549 - Am I right, am I right? <i>- Right?</i> 34 00:01:51,749 --> 00:01:52,849 And it's gotta be me. 35 00:01:53,569 --> 00:01:57,919 <i>This past year, me and my vigilantes turned in 468 commie spies to the FBI.</i> 36 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:01,454 Oh, sounds like a whole ring. How'd you uncover them? 37 00:02:01,654 --> 00:02:03,962 Simple. We just looked through the phone book, 38 00:02:04,216 --> 00:02:05,680 turn every name that ended with ski. 39 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,776 Sikorsky, Levitsky, Shievsky, the whole ski crowd. 40 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:13,980 Ralph, there are a lot of good Americans whose names end with "ski". 41 00:02:14,180 --> 00:02:18,149 I realize that. If their first name was Bill or John, 42 00:02:18,349 --> 00:02:22,064 - I didn't put the finger on them. - That's very liberal of you. 43 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:24,280 Would you mind not calling me that? 44 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:25,760 I prefer considerate to liberal. 45 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:30,680 In fact, I prefer anything to liberal. 46 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:32,480 I just want to be thought of as a warm, 47 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:36,272 wonderful human being who is fair and understanding of his fellow man. 48 00:02:36,735 --> 00:02:39,298 Ralph, what would the country do without you? 49 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,583 I know, Harry. I'm fighting a good fight, 50 00:02:42,783 --> 00:02:44,540 and tonight the Lodge is finally going to 51 00:02:44,740 --> 00:02:46,046 recognize me and give me the honor of 52 00:02:46,246 --> 00:02:48,718 this great American Award Man of the Year. 53 00:02:50,564 --> 00:02:54,735 And now for the moment you've all been waiting for, 54 00:02:55,893 --> 00:02:59,792 the announcement of the member who will be honored at our 55 00:02:59,992 --> 00:03:01,862 annual dinner next week, 56 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:06,240 <i>North Star's Man of the Year.</i> 57 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:09,140 Here it comes, Harry, here it comes. 58 00:03:09,340 --> 00:03:14,179 A man whose tireless efforts have helped to make 59 00:03:14,379 --> 00:03:17,411 North Star what it is today. 60 00:03:18,719 --> 00:03:20,560 Here he is, Mr. America. 61 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:24,210 A man who's truly earned this honor. 62 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,547 Harry Boyle! 63 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:32,624 Harry Boyle? 64 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:36,133 Well, don't be sore at me, Ralph. 65 00:03:36,899 --> 00:03:38,638 I never dreamed I'd get the award. 66 00:03:39,012 --> 00:03:42,094 - I don't know what I did to deserve it. - Neither do I. 67 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:44,720 - Morris Rappaport. - What about him? 68 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,299 That's why I wasn't picked. 69 00:03:46,499 --> 00:03:48,181 Rappaport was on the selection committee. 70 00:03:48,381 --> 00:03:49,390 He's anti-gentile. 71 00:03:49,590 --> 00:03:53,108 Ralph. Rappaport voted for me, and my name is Boyle. 72 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:57,040 I just whooshed his name in with a ski. 73 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:58,560 I'd turn him into the FBI tomorrow. 74 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:02,899 Ralph. Rappaport works for the FBI. He's one of their best agents. 75 00:04:03,563 --> 00:04:05,981 No wonder I can't get none of those guys convicted. 76 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:08,013 Well, I guess I'll have to go right to Martha Mitchell. 77 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:17,948 Hey, that's the Museum of Art. What's going on? 78 00:04:18,148 --> 00:04:21,151 It's B Company on the job protecting the country. 79 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,820 <i>We're picking in that pornographic statue in there.</i> 80 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:25,571 <i>But that's Michelangelo.</i> 81 00:04:25,771 --> 00:04:28,195 I don't care if it's David Eisenhower. 82 00:04:28,395 --> 00:04:29,690 He'd better get some clothes on. 83 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:36,150 It's me, Irma. They picked me! 84 00:04:36,799 --> 00:04:40,561 - I'm the man of the year! - Oh, Harry, that's fantastic! 85 00:04:40,978 --> 00:04:42,636 I couldn't be prouder. 86 00:04:42,836 --> 00:04:44,984 Wait 'til the children hear about it. 87 00:04:46,798 --> 00:04:48,288 Chet, guess what? 88 00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:50,437 The lodge has picked me as man of the year! 89 00:04:50,637 --> 00:04:51,844 Hey, way to go! 90 00:04:52,044 --> 00:04:54,343 I thought you'd be pleased, but nothing like this. 91 00:04:54,543 --> 00:04:56,523 - Can you blame me? - Well, thank you, I... 92 00:04:56,723 --> 00:04:58,240 The ram's just recovered a fumble. 93 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,545 Chet, you didn't hear. 94 00:05:02,745 --> 00:05:06,099 <i>Your father's been selected Man of the Year.</i> 95 00:05:06,299 --> 00:05:09,261 Huh? Oh, groovy. Go, Roman, go! 96 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,000 I just came in second to a fumble. 97 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:14,770 Here's Alice. 98 00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:16,758 <i>She'll be thrilled when she hears.</i> 99 00:05:17,769 --> 00:05:19,339 Honey, guess what? 100 00:05:19,539 --> 00:05:22,855 Your father's been chosen Man of the Year. 101 00:05:23,055 --> 00:05:24,221 That's nice. 102 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,748 We're all out of bananas. 103 00:05:27,948 --> 00:05:30,181 You notice how all choked up she got? 104 00:05:30,381 --> 00:05:33,546 Oh, you know Alice, dear. She doesn't get excited. 105 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,196 If you told her I just want a pizza, she'd flip. 106 00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:39,599 How about that? 107 00:05:39,799 --> 00:05:42,940 You raise kids, you you work for 'em, feed 'em, dress 'em, 108 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,301 cheer 'em on, and then along comes your big moment, 109 00:05:45,501 --> 00:05:46,748 and what do you get? 110 00:05:46,948 --> 00:05:48,961 Go, Roman, go, and we're out of bananas. 111 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,328 What do you mean you're not going to the dinner Friday night? 112 00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:56,222 It's a drag, Pop. 113 00:05:56,422 --> 00:05:57,487 Older people are square. 114 00:05:57,883 --> 00:06:00,170 And the conversation is so uninspiring. 115 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,226 And what is it, Chet? 116 00:06:02,426 --> 00:06:04,751 Are you afraid of meeting someone who might offer you a job? 117 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,413 Oh, I hate to use that word around you. 118 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,863 I know how it upsets your metabolism. 119 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,564 Sorry, but I just don't dig service clubs, Pop. 120 00:06:15,605 --> 00:06:16,793 I believe in personal charity. 121 00:06:16,993 --> 00:06:19,523 I visit the ghetto every Tuesday and Thursday. 122 00:06:19,723 --> 00:06:23,014 What for? To give them the latest Dow Jones averages? 123 00:06:23,262 --> 00:06:26,407 Harry, not so loud. The neighbors will hear. 124 00:06:26,867 --> 00:06:29,893 Well, they should hear. I ought to shout it from the rooftops. 125 00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:33,887 I've got two kids who don't care. 126 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:38,376 We care, Daddy. We just don't care to go. 127 00:06:38,576 --> 00:06:40,320 I'll go with you, Pop. 128 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:45,161 Well, thank you, Jamie. Now, you see, that's what I call a son. 129 00:06:45,361 --> 00:06:48,260 <i>He's the only argument I've got left against birth control.</i> 130 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,800 But the banquet won't run late, will it? 131 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,494 What's the matter? Don't you like to stay up late? 132 00:06:55,694 --> 00:06:58,015 Well, Saturday mornings, I always have to 133 00:06:58,215 --> 00:07:00,423 get up early to mow Mrs. Rosati's lawn, 134 00:07:00,623 --> 00:07:03,525 and she gives me 50 cents. I'll have to cancel. 135 00:07:03,725 --> 00:07:04,760 I'll make it up to you. 136 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:08,754 She also gives me 25 cents to trim the hedges. 137 00:07:08,954 --> 00:07:11,675 - Okay, you'll get that too. <i>- Plus a dime tip.</i> 138 00:07:11,875 --> 00:07:13,521 All right, I'll give you a buck. 139 00:07:13,721 --> 00:07:16,027 Yeah, you'll make a profit on the deal. 140 00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:20,872 Some family, huh I get one out of three, and he's apayola. 141 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:27,993 Who ever thought I'd see the day when my daughter would turn down a meal? 142 00:07:28,123 --> 00:07:30,252 Get up one, get up two, get up three... 143 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:38,840 Come on, Sara. Shape up a ship up, Art. 144 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:40,678 You'd better start jogging in the morning, too, 145 00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,088 or you'll ever be ready for them ruskies. 146 00:07:42,288 --> 00:07:46,573 All right, rendezvous tomorrow night at 1900 hours. 147 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:48,972 Dismissed! 148 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,960 Hi, Harry. Hey, you're up late, aren't you? 149 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,019 - So are you. - Ohh Yeah! 150 00:07:56,219 --> 00:07:58,432 well, me and the troops just came in from patrol in the neighborhood. 151 00:07:58,632 --> 00:08:00,400 Ever alert, ever alert. 152 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:02,697 You never know when they'll hit. 153 00:08:03,323 --> 00:08:06,220 I'm sure the Elm Street patrol has them worried in Moscow. 154 00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:08,293 It's more than the Reds, Harry. 155 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:11,272 The way I figure it, our big worry is the yellow peril. 156 00:08:11,472 --> 00:08:13,160 Ralph, you're a nut. 157 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:15,300 You know, that's the trouble with America today. 158 00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:16,760 They won't believe the danger 159 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,160 until they wake up one morning and 160 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,179 they'll be eating their bacon and eggs with chopsticks. 161 00:08:20,379 --> 00:08:22,080 Oh, Ralph, don't bug me. 162 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:23,747 I've got enough real trouble. 163 00:08:24,363 --> 00:08:27,424 - Oh, well, can I help you, Harry? - Oh, my kids have got me down. 164 00:08:27,624 --> 00:08:29,241 They don't want to go to the dinner. 165 00:08:29,441 --> 00:08:32,585 Well, you can always turn down the award, Harry. 166 00:08:32,785 --> 00:08:33,850 Turn down? 167 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:38,033 No way. I'm going to be there, Ralph, 168 00:08:38,233 --> 00:08:40,722 and believe me, so is my family. 169 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:56,058 Now, hear this. On Friday night, everyone, I repeat, 170 00:08:56,258 --> 00:09:00,231 everyone will be going to the lodge dinner and no exceptions. 171 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,369 Look, Pop, what if we don't enjoy it? 172 00:09:02,569 --> 00:09:03,923 Fake it. 173 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,848 I just decided to put my foot down. 174 00:09:07,718 --> 00:09:10,510 On friday night, the whole family is going to be together. 175 00:09:10,710 --> 00:09:14,515 - It's a tight fit, Harry. - It'll be fine. 176 00:09:14,715 --> 00:09:19,694 Harry. It's a formal affair and I just don't have anything right. 177 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:23,878 You don't want them to say Harry's wife has nothing to wear. 178 00:09:24,078 --> 00:09:26,582 Look at what I'm wearing. And I'm Harry. 179 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:30,089 OK, go ahead. Shoot the works. 180 00:09:30,289 --> 00:09:33,311 I guess on my big night I can afford one dress. 181 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:36,730 What do you mean you need a suit? 182 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:38,928 You want me to look my best, don't you? 183 00:09:39,418 --> 00:09:42,236 OK, OK. How much does a formal cost? 184 00:09:42,454 --> 00:09:45,054 - About 70 bucks. - 70 bucks. 185 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:47,840 Hey, remember, Pop, I didn't even want to go. 186 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:49,220 All right, all right, you got it. 187 00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:50,934 And I'm throwing you another 5 bucks. 188 00:09:51,134 --> 00:09:52,622 Go get yourself a haircut. 189 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,640 I said get yourself a haircut. 190 00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,920 Chet, are you okay? 191 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,377 You stopped breathing and you're turning blue. 192 00:10:04,577 --> 00:10:07,319 - Haircut? - Yeah. 193 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,768 You go to one of those places where they sit you in a chair, 194 00:10:10,968 --> 00:10:12,484 <i>put a sheet around you,</i> 195 00:10:12,684 --> 00:10:15,639 <i>and the nice man holds a comb and scissors in his hand.</i> 196 00:10:15,839 --> 00:10:17,065 <i>You remember, Chet?</i> 197 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:20,055 <i>I think the last one you had, they gave you a lollipop, too.</i> 198 00:10:20,255 --> 00:10:21,422 Do I really have to? 199 00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:25,889 Chet, do something that you've never done since the day you were born. 200 00:10:26,089 --> 00:10:27,748 Make your father happy. 201 00:10:28,303 --> 00:10:30,291 All right, Pop, for you. 202 00:10:30,491 --> 00:10:33,796 Thanks, son. It'll be nice to see your ears again. 203 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,797 And how much do you think the dress will cost? 204 00:10:37,997 --> 00:10:39,761 Oh, about 50. 205 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,560 50 and 70. 206 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,589 I know the president wants to get the economy rolling, 207 00:10:46,789 --> 00:10:48,703 but why do I have to do it all by myself? 208 00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:52,854 <i>Hey, Pop, come on out here.</i> 209 00:10:53,054 --> 00:10:55,497 <i>I want you to take a gander at the great outfit I bought for your dinner.</i> 210 00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:56,947 Sure. 211 00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:03,733 Great set of threads, huh? 212 00:11:03,933 --> 00:11:06,009 I know your lodge is kind of conservative, 213 00:11:06,209 --> 00:11:08,160 so I didn't want to go too far out. 214 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:11,359 You didn't go far out enough. You should have left the country. 215 00:11:11,759 --> 00:11:14,374 - What's wrong? - What's wrong, he asks me. 216 00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:17,160 I paid for a shirt, not wallpaper. 217 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:20,377 And those pants. You look like a beach chair. 218 00:11:20,577 --> 00:11:22,510 <i> And what's with the tennis shoes?</i> 219 00:11:22,710 --> 00:11:24,810 Look, we've got a car. 220 00:11:25,010 --> 00:11:26,893 You don't have to jog to the lodge hall. 221 00:11:27,093 --> 00:11:28,867 Oh, Pop, this is now. It's today. 222 00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:31,840 Well, for you, today is over. 223 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:33,720 Take that Halloween costume back and get something 224 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,367 that looks like it belongs on this planet right now. 225 00:11:36,567 --> 00:11:38,192 - You hear me? - Okay. 226 00:11:38,392 --> 00:11:40,569 <i>Yeah, get to the barber like you promised.</i> 227 00:11:40,669 --> 00:11:41,643 I did. 228 00:11:41,843 --> 00:11:44,246 Well, what did he do? Wave a wand over your head? 229 00:11:44,446 --> 00:11:46,160 He's a hairstylist. 230 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:50,291 When you go somewhere, a guy uses his scissors, a razor. 231 00:11:50,491 --> 00:11:52,660 and preferably a samurai sword. 232 00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:01,322 - Hi. I got it. - Hey, you went to a classy store. 233 00:12:01,522 --> 00:12:02,950 Townley's, huh? 234 00:12:03,150 --> 00:12:05,286 <i>Nothing but the best for you, Daddy.</i> 235 00:12:05,486 --> 00:12:07,200 At least we've got one sensible kid. 236 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,679 Hey, that's a pretty skirt. Where's the top? 237 00:12:11,879 --> 00:12:13,840 This is the top. It's a see-through. 238 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:17,202 I know it's a see-through. I can see right through it. 239 00:12:17,402 --> 00:12:20,559 Alice, it is a little extreme. 240 00:12:20,759 --> 00:12:22,982 Mama, it's the latest thing. 241 00:12:23,182 --> 00:12:26,359 But, honey, you can't wear that thing up on the dais. 242 00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:28,603 Everyone there will be able to see your bra. 243 00:12:28,803 --> 00:12:30,388 What bra? 244 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,724 - No brassiere? - Absolutely not. 245 00:12:38,764 --> 00:12:40,705 I agreed to go, and I'll go, 246 00:12:40,905 --> 00:12:42,720 but this is what I'll be wearing. 247 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:44,825 Now, you don't seem to understand. 248 00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:46,359 This is a very refined affair. 249 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:49,817 It is not a stag smoker with you stepping out of a cake. 250 00:12:50,017 --> 00:12:52,726 Why do you have such a hang-up on the human body? 251 00:12:52,926 --> 00:12:55,045 Adam and Eve didn't wear any clothes. 252 00:12:55,245 --> 00:12:56,971 They had better weather. 253 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,384 You think the human body's ugly, don't you? 254 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:01,520 I sure think there's a lot of them that 255 00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:03,360 could stand a little gift wrapping. 256 00:13:03,961 --> 00:13:08,721 - Harry, try to be a little more reasonable. - Reasonable my foot. 257 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,363 Now we have a problem. 258 00:13:10,563 --> 00:13:13,926 Namely, our daughter planning a public appearance in Saran Wrap. 259 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:19,136 Oh, and that must be the car for Alice. 260 00:13:19,336 --> 00:13:21,040 And to think that my mother used 261 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,573 to throw things away when they had one little hole. 262 00:13:23,773 --> 00:13:25,895 Good evening. I'm Henry Benson. 263 00:13:26,095 --> 00:13:28,165 Your Alice is sitting for us tonight. 264 00:13:28,365 --> 00:13:30,080 Hi, Mr. Benson. I'm all ready. 265 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,564 You certainly must be proud to have such a nice, 266 00:13:32,764 --> 00:13:33,926 refined daughter like Alice. 267 00:13:34,415 --> 00:13:37,768 Oh, we are. We are. We're real proud of her. 268 00:13:37,968 --> 00:13:41,214 - Aren't we, dear? - Oh, sure, sure. 269 00:13:41,414 --> 00:13:43,160 She's one in a million, all right. 270 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:48,536 You're certainly fortunate. There's an awful lot of wildness going on today. 271 00:13:48,997 --> 00:13:51,317 Yes, that's what we hear. 272 00:13:51,517 --> 00:13:53,811 But you sure don't have to worry with your Alice. 273 00:13:54,369 --> 00:13:58,714 No, no, we sure don't. Little Henry Jr. is just crazy about her. 274 00:13:58,914 --> 00:14:01,378 Well, good night, Mommy and Daddy. 275 00:14:01,578 --> 00:14:02,882 Good night, Alice. 276 00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:08,163 Guess what, Irma? There's a lot of wildness out there, 277 00:14:08,363 --> 00:14:10,980 and our daughter is the local distributor. 278 00:14:11,180 --> 00:14:12,808 Alice is not wild. 279 00:14:13,008 --> 00:14:17,412 She'll change her mind, you'll see. Come on, Harry. 280 00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:21,879 Let's go out to a movie. It'll get your mind off things. 281 00:14:22,079 --> 00:14:23,236 Okay. 282 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,600 It's not that I'm against the human body. 283 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:28,640 I happen to be an owner of one myself. 284 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:32,122 But do they have to throw it at you for everything, everywhere you look? 285 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,360 Let's go home and watch television. 286 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:02,374 I go for a man who uses socco foot pound. 287 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,768 Try the new Vita Mighty Juice, dear. 288 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,560 No wonder Alice has all that craziness. 289 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:25,724 Harry, believe me, it's just a phase. 290 00:15:25,924 --> 00:15:28,740 She'll be a different girl in the morning. 291 00:15:28,940 --> 00:15:30,040 I hope so. 292 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:34,871 Those ads. You remember the good old days when all soap did was float? 293 00:15:35,424 --> 00:15:37,678 And waxing the floor wasn't a fertility right? 294 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:45,327 If that was by the mighty, I'm afraid you're gonna be disappointed. 295 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,995 Oh, Harry. Ohh. Here she comes. 296 00:15:50,195 --> 00:15:53,117 Now remember, you have to be tactful. 297 00:15:53,317 --> 00:15:56,015 You leave it to me, old Mr. Tactful himself. 298 00:15:56,215 --> 00:15:57,345 Good morning. 299 00:15:57,545 --> 00:16:00,104 Well, has the female Burt Reynolds come to her senses? 300 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,548 If you're referring to my dress, 301 00:16:04,748 --> 00:16:07,811 I still say the human body is a work of art. 302 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:11,534 And I still say a hen with feathers looks better than a plucked chicken. 303 00:16:12,017 --> 00:16:14,080 The real truth about all this is that you don't 304 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:17,665 care about me, only about your feelings with your friends. 305 00:16:17,865 --> 00:16:21,428 But none of your girlfriends are going dressed like Little Egypt. 306 00:16:21,628 --> 00:16:26,331 That doesn't matter. I am an independent person with my own feelings. 307 00:16:26,531 --> 00:16:29,257 Well, how about some consideration for my feelings? 308 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,805 Oh, this is all your fault, Irma. 309 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,640 When she was three months old, 310 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,736 you let her crawl around the house naked, and now she's hooked on it. 311 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,280 Sorry, Pop, I didn't see you. 312 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:49,875 You ought to snap that habit of driving with your eyes closed. 313 00:16:50,866 --> 00:16:52,666 Look, Chet, I got a problem. 314 00:16:53,773 --> 00:16:55,420 Now, the awards banquet is tonight. 315 00:16:55,620 --> 00:16:57,891 Alice insists on wearing a... 316 00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,280 Well, now get this, a see-through dress. 317 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,657 - Well... - So what's your problem? 318 00:17:05,112 --> 00:17:07,888 I want youto tell your sister not to wear that dress tonight. 319 00:17:08,088 --> 00:17:09,963 I don't think it'll do any good, Pop. 320 00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:12,697 She probably wants to shake up that old-timers club of yours. 321 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:17,000 - It's auntie progress. - Auntie progress? 322 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,979 Why is it you kids think every time two adults get together, 323 00:17:20,179 --> 00:17:21,849 it's automatically a book burning? 324 00:17:22,049 --> 00:17:23,413 Can you give me a lift to work, Harry? 325 00:17:23,613 --> 00:17:26,447 I got a split. Got a big meeting about how to clean up the air. 326 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:34,220 That Alice. Where do kids get these ideas? 327 00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:36,539 I tried to bring her up like a lady. 328 00:17:36,739 --> 00:17:39,643 Who ever thought she'd want to show the whole world the details? 329 00:17:40,061 --> 00:17:42,709 Yeah, the smut that's going around today. 330 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,006 It's terrible. Terrible. 331 00:17:44,726 --> 00:17:47,653 I get at least a dozen pieces of obscene mail every day. 332 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,040 That's funny. I never get any. 333 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:51,459 <i>You don't subscribe.</i> 334 00:17:51,559 --> 00:17:53,277 - And you do? - Of course. 335 00:17:53,477 --> 00:17:56,266 Part of my duty. That's the first rule in countermeasures. 336 00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:57,832 Know your enemy. 337 00:17:58,032 --> 00:18:00,201 You should get a Freedom Medal for eye strain. 338 00:18:00,401 --> 00:18:03,742 No medals. All I want is the ultimate victory over the pinkos, 339 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,768 and maybe a little one of those, you know, 340 00:18:05,968 --> 00:18:08,256 eternal flames by my graveside when I go, when I go. 341 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,357 But you're right. Kids today are a problem. 342 00:18:26,557 --> 00:18:29,140 Somehow, we've got to get them back on the right 343 00:18:29,340 --> 00:18:32,032 track to appreciate decency and democracy again. 344 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:36,072 Even if it means throwing every last one of them in a concentration camp. 345 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,640 Dear, about the dress. 346 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:44,259 After all, this is your father's big night. 347 00:18:44,459 --> 00:18:48,991 Please, Mom, don't try to sway me with old-fashioned sentiment. 348 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:50,678 I have my principles. 349 00:18:51,610 --> 00:18:55,874 All right, for your principles, you wear the dress. 350 00:18:56,074 --> 00:18:59,896 <i>And for his principles, under it, you wear underwear.</i> 351 00:19:00,416 --> 00:19:03,500 Mom, you just don't understand. 352 00:19:04,193 --> 00:19:07,484 Now, honey, we both try to be understanding. 353 00:19:07,684 --> 00:19:11,424 But honestly now, isn't this all a little silly? 354 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:16,702 And is it really so old-fashioned to want to please your father? 355 00:19:16,902 --> 00:19:19,247 <i>He asks for so little.</i> 356 00:19:19,447 --> 00:19:21,152 Now, Dad's home. 357 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:23,680 Tell him you've changed your mind. 358 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,880 Oh, you decided to rent a tuxedo. 359 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:34,734 Good. And Harry, about Alice, I think-- 360 00:19:34,934 --> 00:19:35,912 No more thinking. 361 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,276 No more pussyfooting around with that goofy kid. 362 00:19:38,476 --> 00:19:40,976 I'm gonna handle it the way I should have done in the first place. 363 00:19:42,380 --> 00:19:45,330 Now see here, young lady. Oh, great. 364 00:19:45,530 --> 00:19:48,906 For me, you cover up. For the whole world, nothing. 365 00:19:49,106 --> 00:19:51,028 I can't hear you. 366 00:19:51,228 --> 00:19:54,649 Well, now hear this. This is the captain's suite. 367 00:19:54,849 --> 00:19:58,467 <i>The uniform for tonight is a regular dress with,</i> 368 00:19:58,984 --> 00:20:01,504 <i>and I repeat, with underwear!</i> 369 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:05,062 Alice! 370 00:20:05,262 --> 00:20:10,367 Oh, Harry, and I almost had it all straightened out. 371 00:20:10,567 --> 00:20:12,699 Just let me get my hands on that dress. 372 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,302 If you're looking for her underwear, forget it. 373 00:20:17,502 --> 00:20:18,267 Huh? 374 00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,696 <i>She threw all her bras in the garbage.</i> 375 00:20:20,896 --> 00:20:22,036 Great. 376 00:20:22,236 --> 00:20:25,980 Look, Uncle Ralph next door gave me a quarter for delivering his mail. 377 00:20:26,180 --> 00:20:27,210 Oh, that's nice. 378 00:20:27,410 --> 00:20:30,167 <i>A lot of his stuff got in our mailbox by mistake.</i> 379 00:20:30,367 --> 00:20:32,671 Mostly magazines and brown wrappers. 380 00:20:32,871 --> 00:20:34,261 Hardly worth a quarter. 381 00:20:34,461 --> 00:20:37,544 Looked like nothing but ladies' underwear catalogs. 382 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:45,629 - Harry, are you all right? - No, I'm not, Irma. 383 00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:47,600 What's happened to our world? 384 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,082 We've got garbage cans full of brassieres, 385 00:20:50,282 --> 00:20:52,728 a daughter who's understudying Sally Rand, 386 00:20:52,928 --> 00:20:55,209 a neighbor in the Go-Go Book of the Month club, 387 00:20:55,409 --> 00:20:57,533 and you saw all those heavy-breathing billboards. 388 00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:01,539 - Oh, I know, dear. - Is that all life is today? 389 00:21:01,739 --> 00:21:03,120 One big skinny dip? 390 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:08,266 About Alice. Maybe the best thing is just to have her stay home. 391 00:21:08,580 --> 00:21:11,617 I thought about that, but I want her with me. 392 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,560 Now, look. When she was in anything from 393 00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:18,499 a from a nursery school graduation to a Brownie Scout fly-up, 394 00:21:18,699 --> 00:21:21,127 I was there and wearing a coat and tie too. 395 00:21:21,327 --> 00:21:23,451 But what else can we do, dear? 396 00:21:23,651 --> 00:21:26,452 Well, there is one thing. 397 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,118 You mean it, Pop? I can wear the dress? 398 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,960 Oh, you are an independent person, aren't you? 399 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:37,080 - Well, sure, but... - And maybe I have 400 00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:40,734 been worried only about my feelings and my friends. 401 00:21:40,934 --> 00:21:43,105 Well, let's settle. 402 00:21:43,305 --> 00:21:46,142 - Now, let's all get ready. - You hear that? 403 00:21:46,342 --> 00:21:48,480 Pop says I can wear the dress! 404 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,280 Harry, we're ready! What's keeping you? 405 00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:56,686 <i>Coming! I'm all dressed!</i> 406 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:00,480 Hey, I thought you said you were dressed. 407 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:05,808 - I am. This is it. - You're going to the dinner... like that? 408 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,932 Why not? Since the human body is a work of art. 409 00:22:11,340 --> 00:22:14,971 - Why deny the world a real masterpiece? - But you can't. 410 00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,257 - All my friends will be there. - So? 411 00:22:18,457 --> 00:22:22,051 Well, don't you have any consideration at all for my feelings? 412 00:22:22,151 --> 00:22:23,640 Well... 413 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:25,616 I'm getting the message. 414 00:22:25,816 --> 00:22:28,145 Now, what do you say we both put on something dull and dreary, 415 00:22:28,345 --> 00:22:30,524 and then we'll all have a nice evening together? 416 00:22:30,724 --> 00:22:33,679 - I'm sorry, Papa. - Ah, that's all right, honey. 417 00:22:33,879 --> 00:22:35,052 It's like I told your mother. 418 00:22:35,252 --> 00:22:36,480 I knew you'd come around. 419 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,562 - Well, how do I look? <i>- A regular Gene Berry.</i> 420 00:22:41,762 --> 00:22:44,203 I knew this would be a happy evening. 421 00:22:44,403 --> 00:22:46,092 Boy, you're something else, Mom. 422 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:47,840 Here was Pop, all set to go out in his shorts, 423 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:49,840 and you never batted an eye. 424 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:52,400 - Yeah, how come, Irma? - Simple. 425 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:56,830 When Harry Boyle plunks down $10 to rent a tuxedo, 426 00:22:57,030 --> 00:23:00,583 I know he's not going anywhere in his underwear. 427 00:23:05,459 --> 00:23:09,783 Subtitles: Kilo 428 00:23:10,305 --> 00:24:10,869 Do you want subtitles for any video? -=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=-