"Kiff" The Other Movie/Roy-alty Check

1 00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:03,920 - [♪ theme music playing] <i>- ♪ Kiff! ♪</i> 2 00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:06,423 <i>- ♪ Kiff! ♪ - ♪ Kiff! ♪</i> 3 00:00:07,298 --> 00:00:10,468 <i>♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪</i> 4 00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:12,511 <i>- ♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪</i> - [school bell ringing] 5 00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,347 <i>- ♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪</i> - [engine revving] 6 00:00:14,472 --> 00:00:16,975 <i>♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪</i> 7 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:20,270 <i>- ♪ Yeah! Kiff! ♪</i> - [♪ theme music concludes] 8 00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:25,900 [both laugh] 9 00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:29,153 {\an8}[presenter 1] <i>Brought to you by Pablo's Popcorn Shoveler.</i> 10 00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:31,363 {\an8}<i>Popcorn doesn't stand a chance.</i> 11 00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:32,782 {\an8}[♪ perky techno music playing] 12 00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:35,076 {\an8}- [indistinct chatter] - Okay, after a lengthy debate, 13 00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,078 we've narrowed our choices down to two films. 14 00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:40,290 <i>Melons for Sale</i> or <i>The Many Saints of Chugga Roo.</i> 15 00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,708 I'm thinking <i>Melons for Sale.</i> Barry? 16 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,627 Honestly, <i>Chugga Roo's</i> piquing my interest. 17 00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:49,381 - Trev? Tiebreaker? <i>- Melons.</i> I feel it in my bones. 18 00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:51,717 - [spits] Democracy! - [spits] Democracy! 19 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,720 - [spits] - [♪ music concludes] 20 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:56,722 Hey, Nick Namé. How are you, pal? 21 00:00:56,723 --> 00:01:00,143 Nice to see you again, Straight Edge. Got something for me? 22 00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:04,438 Nick Namé makes you hand over your phone before the movie? 23 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:06,690 - Oh, no. I hand it over voluntarily... - [♪ tense music playing] 24 00:01:06,691 --> 00:01:07,775 ...lest the temptation 25 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:10,528 to illegally record the movie becomes too great. 26 00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:14,741 {\an8}Straight Edge has my trust. He knows himself and his limits. 27 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:16,283 {\an8}Must be nice. 28 00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:18,327 Should Barry and I give our phones over too? 29 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:21,747 Typical Kiff, trying to suck up. I got my eye on you two. 30 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:22,915 I'm itching to give out 31 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:26,628 - my first lifetime bans. - [♪ sinister music playing] 32 00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:32,967 [♪ upbeat music playing] 33 00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:37,555 I guess nobody else wanted to see <i>Melons for Sale.</i> Weird. 34 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:40,141 This movie sounds awesome, right? 35 00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:44,019 - [projector whirring] - [actor 1 over screen] <i>Melons for sale.</i> 36 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:47,398 <i>- Melons... for sale!</i> - [♪ melodramatic music playing] 37 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,902 <i>Melons for sale!</i> 38 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:54,906 <i>Melons... for sale!</i> 39 00:01:55,323 --> 00:01:59,452 <i>Melons... for sale. Melons...</i> 40 00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:02,663 [breathes heavily] <i>...for sale!</i> 41 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:06,042 - Oh, no. - It's in black and white? 42 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:09,671 [Kiff] Oh. Maybe this new character will shake things up a bit. 43 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,381 <i>Melons for sale.</i> 44 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:13,800 <i>Melons for sale?</i> 45 00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:15,717 [groans] 46 00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:18,178 - Oh, man. - [actress over screen] <i>Melons for sale.</i> 47 00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:19,763 Okay, maybe it's not too late. 48 00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,431 - [actor 1 over screen] <i>Melons...</i> - We bought tickets. 49 00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:23,767 Shouldn't be a big deal to just go see the other movie. 50 00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:25,186 <i>...for sale!</i> 51 00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:28,231 - Sure. Yeah. - [sobbing] <i>Melons for sale.</i> 52 00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:30,692 [sighs heavily] <i>Melon!</i> 53 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:33,944 - Okay, we really gotta sell this. - What do you mean? 54 00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:38,031 Ooh, let's see. Theater four. Looking for theater four. 55 00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:40,909 - [♪ quirky music playing] - M... m... m... m... meh! Oh! Here we go! Four. 56 00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:43,704 Oh, yeah. [chuckling] O... our theater number is four! 57 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:46,540 - [laughs] - Yes, four! Not three, four! 58 00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,710 It's one, two, four. 59 00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,335 - [Barry] Theater four! - Not three, four. 60 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:52,171 - Is this it? Yeah? Okay. - Who said anything about three, right? 61 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,090 - Our theater number is four! Yeah! - The theater that is printed-- 62 00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:57,177 Why would it be printed on the ticket if it wasn't true? 63 00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,803 - [♪ cheerful music playing] - Phew, we are in! 64 00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:03,390 There's nothing that can stop us from enjoying this film. 65 00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:04,474 I have to pee. 66 00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:07,644 What? Trevor, no. Everybody has to stay put. 67 00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:09,438 What if someone takes your seat while you're gone? 68 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:13,359 I can try to hold it, but that can go really wrong. 69 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:22,327 - [groans] - [♪ tense music playing] 70 00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:25,954 [Trevor] Oh! No, no, no! 71 00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:27,957 Okay, okay, go. Just be quick. 72 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,043 Sheesh. 73 00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:34,797 "Melons for sale. Melons for sale. 74 00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:36,758 "Melons for... 75 00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:41,054 "sale?" 76 00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,475 [groans] 77 00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:49,020 [♪ suspenseful music playing] 78 00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:52,732 [Trevor] "Emergency exit. 79 00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:55,984 "Warning alarm will sound if door is opened." 80 00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:59,572 [sighs] I better text Kiff and Barry. 81 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:06,912 Oh, no. Hoisted by my own... How does that phrase go? 82 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,623 Uh, let me look online to find out. 83 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:14,712 Oh, Trevor, you've been hanging out with Kiff and Barry way too much. 84 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,342 - Kiff! Barry! Help-- - [♪ dramatic music playing] 85 00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:21,928 [♪ upbeat music continues] 86 00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:25,264 Look at all those legally ticketed moviegoers. 87 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:29,142 - We don't belong here. - Barry, we're in the home stretch, 88 00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:32,563 so wipe off that guilt sweat, okay? It's getting on the popcorn. 89 00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:34,147 But what if the theater fills up? 90 00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:37,318 If the movie is sold out, three people won't have seats. 91 00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,989 [♪ dubious music playing] 92 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,074 [Trevor] Mm. [grunts] 93 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:47,203 [sighs] There's got to be something I can use to escape-- 94 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:48,621 [gasps, groans] 95 00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:55,003 [gasps] Trevor, you mad genius! 96 00:04:55,169 --> 00:05:01,968 {\an8}"Trapped in hallway. Please open door. Forever yours, Trevor." 97 00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:08,182 [♪ upbeat music playing] 98 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:14,354 Whoa, whoa, I can't believe how hard it is 99 00:05:14,355 --> 00:05:17,734 to read this without my glasses. [spits] 100 00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:22,447 Calculations? 101 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:26,742 Square footage divided by the number of butts. Theater is 78% full. 102 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:29,037 [♪ suspenseful music playing] 103 00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:32,331 Uh, sorry! We're saving that for a friend. 104 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:37,128 Are... are you sure? Not a lot of seats. I see a few in the front. 105 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:40,172 Might be hard on the old neck. [groans] 106 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:44,134 [grunts] Take the seat. Our friend, wherever he may be, can sit up front. 107 00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:46,720 Oh, and... and my two friends, they also have crummy necks, 108 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:47,804 so we're the crummy neck bunch. 109 00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:49,765 [chuckles] No, we don't call ourselves that. 110 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:54,562 Aw, the front row? When Trevor gets back, he won't be happy. 111 00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:57,440 Stay cool, Trev. Someone will find you eventually. 112 00:05:57,565 --> 00:06:00,985 I just have to make sure I keep my head. Right, Red? 113 00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:03,278 So, what sign are you? 114 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,489 I'm an Avery's chin with a choo-choo rising 115 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:06,699 and a fancy pants moon. 116 00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:11,912 Whoa, ooh! What's that, Red? "Open the exit door"? 117 00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:14,749 "Who cares about the alarm"? "Throw caution to the wind"? 118 00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:18,378 This conversation is just me talking to myself, you say? 119 00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:22,548 - No, Red. I have already accepted my fate. - [♪ menacing music playing] 120 00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:27,720 [♪ upbeat music continues] 121 00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:32,432 We're so close to the screen. My chin's above my nose! 122 00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:33,934 [Nick over speaker] <i>We'd like to take this moment</i> 123 00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:36,186 <i>to remind our audience that phones are prohibited</i> 124 00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:37,855 <i>for the duration of the movie.</i> 125 00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:40,066 <i>We will find you!</i> 126 00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:43,068 - Kiff! - We have to let Trevor know 127 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,403 we changed seats. 128 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,780 He doesn't have his phone. He gave it to Nick. 129 00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:50,325 Right. I'll just text Trevor and tell him to get his phone back from Nick. 130 00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:54,872 [chuckles] Oh, Kiff. You've been hanging out with Trevor way too much. 131 00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:57,374 Hey, Miss Deer Teacher. How's it going? 132 00:06:57,375 --> 00:07:01,087 [sighs] Not great. It looks like we're out of seats. 133 00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:04,381 I guess I'll have to cancel my date and go home. 134 00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:08,218 No, it's okay. Barry and I can just squeeze in here. 135 00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:11,180 - Oh! - Where's your date? 136 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:14,891 She's already here. I'm trying to love myself, 137 00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:18,271 so I bought two seats for a date with me. [chuckles] 138 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,481 I think we're hitting it off. [chuckles] 139 00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:22,566 - [chuckles] - [munches] 140 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:25,068 [Nick over speaker] <i>And now, your feature presentation.</i> 141 00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:27,321 This movie better be worth it. 142 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:32,201 [♪ sinister music playing] 143 00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:37,081 So, you're saying I've been waiting two years to see this movie. 144 00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:42,545 [yells] I bought a ticket but there's no seat for me? [screams] 145 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,132 - [grunts, yells indistinctly] - [crowd gasping, clamoring] 146 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,633 Kiff, I think we're in one of those situations 147 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:51,595 that keep spiraling out of control until we learn a lesson. 148 00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:53,680 Good call, Bar. Let's get out of here. 149 00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:55,348 [Rat] ...but now I know that it's true! 150 00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:56,934 - [guard] No one moves. - [crowd gasping] 151 00:07:57,059 --> 00:08:00,979 Looks like a couple of clowns thought it was a good idea to sneak in here. 152 00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:04,025 - [crowd groaning, murmuring] - [♪ tense music playing] 153 00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:08,112 Yes, you're right to murmur in dismay. 154 00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:13,367 Now I'm gonna check everyone's ticket so we can publicly shame these sickos. 155 00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:18,789 Uh. Thank you. Yes. 156 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:21,042 - Hells, it's been forever! - [bell trills] 157 00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:25,171 [whispers] Kiff, we gotta get out of here. 158 00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:28,298 I hear you, but if we just get up and walk out now, 159 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,551 it'll be super obvious that we're guilty! 160 00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:35,348 Oh, it is spiraling. It is spiraling so fast. 161 00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:39,268 I think it's that way? 162 00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:42,229 [♪ tense music builds] 163 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,522 Oh, there you are. 164 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,192 [pants] We... we've been looking all over for you. 165 00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:50,403 - Oh! Wh-- Huh? You didn't see? Ah! Wh-- - [guard stammers] Just-- I need it-- Wh-- 166 00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:52,656 - Hey, stop! Just gimme-- [grunts] Hey! - [Kiff] Oh! Ah! Whoa! Hmm? Ah! 167 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:55,408 - Guys! I can't-- Ju-- What-- [grunts] - [Kiff] Whoa! 168 00:08:55,409 --> 00:08:57,912 - [guard stammers] I need it. One second. - [Kiff chuckles] Huh? I showed it to you. 169 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,664 - G... guys! [stammers] - Nope. 170 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,332 - [guard] Hey, stop! Just give me-- - Oh, you-- 171 00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:05,627 Oh! Oh, you said you wanted our tickets. Our mistake. 172 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:08,714 - [chuckles, sighs] - [♪ tense music continues] 173 00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:15,596 - [♪ music concludes] - [alarm blaring] 174 00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:19,892 I told you this was a bad idea! 175 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:24,438 - [Barry] Trevor, you saved us! - We were so close to getting busted! 176 00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:28,608 - [♪ triumphant music playing] - Kiff, Barry, you've aged so gracefully. 177 00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:29,944 How long has it been? 178 00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:32,696 [groans] None of that matters now. Let's just go. 179 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:35,658 - There's a perfectly good TV at home. - [Nick] Forgetting something? 180 00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:38,286 [♪ menacing music playing] 181 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,206 "Hey, Trev. Kiff here. 182 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:45,209 "We're moving to the front, since there's not enough seats, 183 00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:46,836 "because we snuck in." 184 00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:49,505 Kiff is a very common name. 185 00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:52,591 [♪ whimsical music playing] 186 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:56,386 [clears throat] Please let Barry and Trevor go. 187 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:58,723 It was I who led them to the other movie. 188 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:04,353 No, Kiff. As leader of our friend group, I should take the fall. 189 00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:05,855 [Nick clears throat] 190 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:11,527 - [shushes] - [♪ suspenseful music playing] 191 00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:14,488 [whirs] 192 00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:17,241 [blows] 193 00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,413 [groans] 194 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,461 [♪ dramatic music playing] 195 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:35,635 It is an absolute disgrace... 196 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:39,597 that <i>Melons for Sale</i> ever got made. 197 00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:43,976 - [♪ cheerful music playing] - However, I am also shocked... 198 00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:47,271 that this cinema would ever agree to show it. 199 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:50,775 Honestly though, you guys should be punished... 200 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,402 for not leaving sooner. 201 00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:56,989 But still, I commend your bravery. Totally understandable. Horrible movie. 202 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,618 - Thank you. - It was in black and white. 203 00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:03,037 Where's my fire extinguisher? 204 00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:05,289 [actor 2 over screen] <i>Welcome to Chugga Roo,</i> 205 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:08,625 <i>where a nickel is five nuts and a dime is 20.</i> 206 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,503 <i>- Don't ask. I don't make the rules.</i> - [♪ dramatic music playing] 207 00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:12,672 - [group cheers] - That's what I'm talking about!