"Rick and Morty" Ricker Than Fiction

1 00:00:03,052 --> 00:00:09,891 {\an8}♪ 2 00:00:09,892 --> 00:00:13,228 Step away from the Tarnation Casket, Baron Thistle. 3 00:00:13,229 --> 00:00:15,522 You cannot stop me, Arbor Knight. 4 00:00:15,523 --> 00:00:17,399 Once the stream is activated, 5 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,737 the negative feedback will rip your world apart. 6 00:00:22,739 --> 00:00:24,406 <i>We have 1.32 minutes before the nexus shockwave...</i> 7 00:00:24,407 --> 00:00:27,034 What the fuck is happening? Are you following any of this? 8 00:00:27,035 --> 00:00:28,452 I-I'm so lost. 9 00:00:28,453 --> 00:00:29,745 Sh-Should we turn the subtitles back on? 10 00:00:29,746 --> 00:00:31,371 - Shh! <i>- Nano-configuration,</i> 11 00:00:31,372 --> 00:00:33,874 causing the Tarnation Casket to self-implode. 12 00:00:33,875 --> 00:00:36,543 - But that's impossible. - Nothing's impossible. 13 00:00:36,544 --> 00:00:38,503 We're the Robo-Trees. 14 00:00:38,504 --> 00:00:40,756 You're Arbor Knight, our leader. 15 00:00:40,757 --> 00:00:42,883 Red Wood, you're the hothead. 16 00:00:42,884 --> 00:00:46,345 Palme D'or, or-you're our resident super-genius. 17 00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:49,014 Cypress, you're our girlboss boss-lady. 18 00:00:49,015 --> 00:00:55,103 And I'm Tannenbaum, here to get your rears in gear. Whoo. Yeah. 19 00:00:55,104 --> 00:00:57,397 Did he seriously reintroduce each character? 20 00:00:57,398 --> 00:00:58,523 This is the ninth movie. 21 00:00:58,524 --> 00:00:59,941 Die, Tannenbaum. You suck. 22 00:00:59,942 --> 00:01:02,277 Guys, you're talking over the whole ending. 23 00:01:02,278 --> 00:01:04,447 [ <i>Chuckles</i> ] 24 00:01:05,448 --> 00:01:06,740 [ <i>Laughs maniacally</i> ] 25 00:01:06,741 --> 00:01:09,618 <i>This is not over, Robo-Trees.</i> 26 00:01:09,619 --> 00:01:14,331 Your day of reckoning will soon be at hand. 27 00:01:14,332 --> 00:01:15,624 Don't just stand there, Redwood. 28 00:01:15,625 --> 00:01:17,501 He's still in range. Shoot him. 29 00:01:17,502 --> 00:01:19,211 You're literally holding a gun. 30 00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:22,005 Robo-Trees, let's go home. 31 00:01:22,006 --> 00:01:24,466 Yeah. I need a bath. 32 00:01:24,467 --> 00:01:26,885 [ Laughter ] 'Cause I'm stinky. 33 00:01:26,886 --> 00:01:29,721 <i>♪ It's a "Maximum Velocitree" ♪</i> 34 00:01:29,722 --> 00:01:31,973 Ugh. Not exactly "Citizen Kane." [ Groans ] 35 00:01:31,974 --> 00:01:33,642 I kinda loved it. 36 00:01:33,643 --> 00:01:36,561 Oh, God. Rick, what are you doing? [ Electricity crackles ] 37 00:01:36,562 --> 00:01:38,438 I dunno what to do with these feelings, Jerry. 38 00:01:38,439 --> 00:01:39,940 This used to be my favorite franchise. 39 00:01:39,941 --> 00:01:41,817 M-Maybe it's time to like something else. 40 00:01:41,818 --> 00:01:44,529 No. I-I wanna talk to the manager. 41 00:01:45,321 --> 00:01:48,824 [ Thunder crashes, animal howls ] 42 00:01:48,825 --> 00:01:51,993 You in charge? - Yeah. I'm James Gunn. 43 00:01:51,994 --> 00:01:54,955 [ Grunts ] Hey! Bradley Cooper carved that desk. 44 00:01:54,956 --> 00:01:57,541 What was up with that last "Maximum Velocitree"? 45 00:01:57,542 --> 00:01:59,209 - You didn't like it? - I thought it was great. 46 00:01:59,210 --> 00:02:02,003 You're ruining my childhood. W-Which is still ongoing. 47 00:02:02,004 --> 00:02:04,840 Stop eating up screen time with stupid comic relief characters 48 00:02:04,841 --> 00:02:07,342 and put more cool shit in the story. 49 00:02:07,343 --> 00:02:09,052 Guys, I'm a fan, too. 50 00:02:09,053 --> 00:02:10,429 Why do you think Warner Brothers put me 51 00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:11,930 behind that desk you now owe me? 52 00:02:11,931 --> 00:02:13,974 So you could pitch Batman ideas to yourself? 53 00:02:13,975 --> 00:02:15,016 Exactly. 54 00:02:15,017 --> 00:02:16,309 And you know what I've learned? 55 00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:18,645 Making movies isn't easy. 56 00:02:18,646 --> 00:02:20,522 The next "Maximum Velocitree" movie 57 00:02:20,523 --> 00:02:23,191 has been rewritten 40 times. 30 by me. 58 00:02:23,192 --> 00:02:25,861 Now, we'll spend five years and half-a-billion making it, 59 00:02:25,862 --> 00:02:28,864 but in the end, know what will make fans like you like it? 60 00:02:28,865 --> 00:02:30,991 - A fucking miracle. - No. 61 00:02:30,992 --> 00:02:33,535 What the next "Maximum Velocitree" film needs is us. 62 00:02:33,536 --> 00:02:35,287 Ha! I'd like to see you try-- Hey. 63 00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:37,330 Time to fix this broken franchise. 64 00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:40,793 Good luck doing anything with that script, it's watermarked. 65 00:02:42,837 --> 00:02:44,589 - Aah! - Aah! 66 00:02:46,090 --> 00:02:47,174 I'll get an Uber. 67 00:02:47,175 --> 00:03:17,205 {\an8}♪ 68 00:03:19,207 --> 00:03:21,291 I dunno, this script is pretty good. 69 00:03:21,292 --> 00:03:25,003 - Give that back, Dad. - Whoa, what's that? 70 00:03:25,004 --> 00:03:26,963 The Movie-lizer. 71 00:03:26,964 --> 00:03:28,673 It makes movies at the speed of thought. 72 00:03:28,674 --> 00:03:30,592 {\an8}I invented it during the title sequence. 73 00:03:30,593 --> 00:03:32,845 {\an8}Let's see what James Gunn had cookin'. 74 00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:36,224 [ Beep ] 75 00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:40,561 For the honor of the Robo-Tree. 76 00:03:41,354 --> 00:03:43,563 Time to die. 77 00:03:43,564 --> 00:03:46,024 <i>With the power of friendship.</i> 78 00:03:46,025 --> 00:03:48,610 {\an8}Yikes. "Citizen Kane" <i>doesn't</i> strike again. 79 00:03:48,611 --> 00:03:50,111 {\an8}Oh-ho-ho, he will. 80 00:03:50,112 --> 00:03:52,656 {\an8}The Movie-lizer uses a prompt-driven CPU. 81 00:03:52,657 --> 00:03:53,907 {\an8}I just type whatever tweaks I want, 82 00:03:53,908 --> 00:03:55,534 {\an8}and it auto-generates the rest. 83 00:03:55,535 --> 00:03:57,452 {\an8}Hell, yeah. M-Make it lose that bad guy. 84 00:03:57,453 --> 00:03:59,913 {\an8}Baron Thistle hasn't been cool since the third movie. 85 00:03:59,914 --> 00:04:02,290 {\an8}Let's kill two birds with one prompt. 86 00:04:02,291 --> 00:04:03,667 [ Beep ] 87 00:04:03,668 --> 00:04:05,627 Till we meet again, Robo-Trees. 88 00:04:05,628 --> 00:04:07,921 Wait. Where did this gun come from? 89 00:04:07,922 --> 00:04:09,965 [ Grunts ] [ All gasp ] 90 00:04:09,966 --> 00:04:11,758 - Whoopsie. - Hey. That man was unarmed. 91 00:04:11,759 --> 00:04:13,468 Yeah, man. Uncool. 92 00:04:13,469 --> 00:04:15,637 {\an8}[ <i>Spectators booing</i> ] {\an8}<i>It was an accident.</i> 93 00:04:15,638 --> 00:04:17,180 {\an8}[ Both laugh ] 94 00:04:17,181 --> 00:04:20,267 {\an8}- So awesome. They hate him. - Here. Watch this. 95 00:04:20,268 --> 00:04:21,643 {\an8}[ Beep ] 96 00:04:21,644 --> 00:04:23,144 {\an8}I sentence you to life in prison 97 00:04:23,145 --> 00:04:24,854 {\an8}for unlicensed murder. 98 00:04:24,855 --> 00:04:27,148 {\an8}- Oh, please. - [ Crying ] 99 00:04:27,149 --> 00:04:30,235 {\an8}Uh, isn't some of the stuff you're messing with important? 100 00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:31,695 {\an8}Oh, fuck the fuck off, Jerry. 101 00:04:31,696 --> 00:04:34,155 {\an8}That formula-driven, "Save the Cat" bullshit 102 00:04:34,156 --> 00:04:35,407 {\an8}is what killed the last couple of movies. 103 00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:37,117 {\an8}That's right, Morty. 104 00:04:37,118 --> 00:04:38,785 {\an8}We're gonna make the people care about the Robo-Trees again. 105 00:04:38,786 --> 00:04:41,913 Movie-lizer? Make... us... care. 106 00:04:41,914 --> 00:04:44,165 [ Beep ] 107 00:04:44,166 --> 00:04:46,668 [ Both grunting ] 108 00:04:46,669 --> 00:04:49,046 [ Both screaming ] 109 00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:58,263 - W-Where are we? - Oh, shit. Morty. Look. 110 00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:00,682 Morty: Oh, my God. 111 00:05:00,683 --> 00:05:03,144 I-It's Robo-Tree Headquarters. 112 00:05:03,936 --> 00:05:06,771 Wait, how-- how is this happening-? 113 00:05:06,772 --> 00:05:09,649 - Intruders! - Let's go. 114 00:05:09,650 --> 00:05:12,360 - Stop them. - Aah! Aah! 115 00:05:12,361 --> 00:05:15,530 {\an8}Fuck. The Movie-lizer "Last Action Hero'd" us. 116 00:05:15,531 --> 00:05:17,282 {\an8}We're characters in the movie now, Morty. 117 00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:19,868 {\an8}- Agh. It hurts. <i>- A-Are you guys okay?</i> 118 00:05:19,869 --> 00:05:21,786 {\an8}I mean, I can see you're being shot at. 119 00:05:21,787 --> 00:05:23,330 {\an8}<i>Dad? Holy shit,</i> 120 00:05:23,331 --> 00:05:25,165 {\an8}<i>I-I can hear your internal dialogue in my head.</i> 121 00:05:25,166 --> 00:05:27,125 {\an8}Is the machine supposed to work like this? 122 00:05:27,126 --> 00:05:29,127 {\an8}No. The Movie-lizer malfunctioned. 123 00:05:29,128 --> 00:05:30,879 {\an8}Now the Robo-Trees are trying to kill us. 124 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:34,382 {\an8}<i>Really? Uh, let me try something.</i> 125 00:05:34,383 --> 00:05:37,218 {\an8}- What the hell is this? <i>- A 2007 Kia Spectra.</i> 126 00:05:37,219 --> 00:05:39,512 {\an8}<i>I thought you could use a cool getaway car.</i> 127 00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,181 {\an8}Are you kidding me? This car sucks. 128 00:05:41,182 --> 00:05:44,684 {\an8}<i>The joke's on you. Edmunds Car Report gave it three stars.</i> 129 00:05:44,685 --> 00:05:46,645 It's a family sedan! Shoot it! 130 00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:49,356 - Better than nothing. Let's go. - Aah! 131 00:05:49,357 --> 00:05:51,066 [ Engine revs ] 132 00:05:51,067 --> 00:05:52,192 Ow! 133 00:05:52,193 --> 00:05:54,069 H-How are we gonna get outta here? 134 00:05:54,070 --> 00:05:56,404 The Movie-lizer might eject us once the story is over. 135 00:05:56,405 --> 00:05:59,115 {\an8}Jerry, type that we skip to the end, and everything works out. 136 00:05:59,116 --> 00:06:01,034 {\an8}Jerry: <i>I don't think I can, guys.</i> 137 00:06:01,035 --> 00:06:04,079 {\an8}It says the script is 3,000 pages and counting. 138 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,247 {\an8}Also, t-there's an error-thing bleeping that says, 139 00:06:06,248 --> 00:06:09,125 {\an8}"antagonist not found" and "no third act." 140 00:06:09,126 --> 00:06:11,753 {\an8}Without an ending, you'll be stuck in the movie forever. 141 00:06:11,754 --> 00:06:13,088 {\an8}- [ <i>Groans</i> ] <i>- God damn it.</i> 142 00:06:13,089 --> 00:06:15,215 {\an8}You cut a bunch of stuff out willy-nilly. 143 00:06:15,216 --> 00:06:16,716 {\an8}What did you expect? 144 00:06:16,717 --> 00:06:19,761 {\an8}Look, I understand story. Lemme just put everything back 145 00:06:19,762 --> 00:06:21,429 {\an8}<i>that you took out and--</i> - Jerry, stop. 146 00:06:21,430 --> 00:06:23,223 {\an8}You'll only make things worse. You're a terrible writer, 147 00:06:23,224 --> 00:06:25,809 {\an8}and you should never, ever get on the keys. 148 00:06:25,810 --> 00:06:27,435 Well, excuse me for living. 149 00:06:27,436 --> 00:06:29,521 Alright, we killed the villain, gotta undo that. 150 00:06:29,522 --> 00:06:31,940 Didn't they use lightning to bring George Washington back 151 00:06:31,941 --> 00:06:34,275 to life in "Maximum VelociThree: Tell No Lies"? 152 00:06:34,276 --> 00:06:36,778 Hold on. The machine doesn't hate that... 153 00:06:36,779 --> 00:06:38,113 See. This is going to work. 154 00:06:38,114 --> 00:06:39,906 We'll bring back Baron Thistle 155 00:06:39,907 --> 00:06:41,116 and give this stupid thing an ending. [ Grunts ] 156 00:06:41,117 --> 00:06:44,953 Use your blinker. Fuck off. 157 00:06:44,954 --> 00:06:47,289 [ Thunder crashes ] 158 00:06:49,291 --> 00:06:52,001 Okay, all we need now is a little lighting. 159 00:06:52,002 --> 00:06:54,296 [ Thunder crashes ] 160 00:06:57,758 --> 00:06:59,802 [ Groans ] 161 00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:02,762 - We're back, baby. - It worked. 162 00:07:02,763 --> 00:07:03,972 - [ Grunts ] - Aah! 163 00:07:03,973 --> 00:07:07,100 Look out! Zombie! 164 00:07:07,101 --> 00:07:08,977 Dude. Ugh. We just brought him back. 165 00:07:08,978 --> 00:07:10,979 - Fucker bit you. - Wait. 166 00:07:10,980 --> 00:07:13,648 the Movie-lizer is detecting a new antagonist. 167 00:07:13,649 --> 00:07:15,108 I don't see any-- 168 00:07:15,109 --> 00:07:17,194 [ Grunting ] 169 00:07:18,863 --> 00:07:20,780 Guys, this new character has given you 170 00:07:20,781 --> 00:07:23,825 a 20.5% better chance of ending the movie. 171 00:07:23,826 --> 00:07:27,162 - But I am in pain. - So we're back on course? 172 00:07:27,163 --> 00:07:29,414 Sort of. You still need a third act. 173 00:07:29,415 --> 00:07:31,374 In the original draft, Baron Thistle was gonna 174 00:07:31,375 --> 00:07:34,002 kill Tannenbaum in front of the Robo-Trees... 175 00:07:34,003 --> 00:07:35,170 Huh. That would've been a cool ending. 176 00:07:35,171 --> 00:07:36,671 [ Grunting ] 177 00:07:36,672 --> 00:07:40,300 Maybe Son of Thistle could finish what his father started? 178 00:07:40,301 --> 00:07:42,385 Hmm, you do kinda look like him. 179 00:07:42,386 --> 00:07:45,180 - You want <i>me</i> to kill Tannenbaum? - Whatever works. 180 00:07:45,181 --> 00:07:47,182 Okay, I'll break Tannenbaum out of jail, 181 00:07:47,183 --> 00:07:49,517 reunite him with the Robo-Trees, and then Morty will kill him. 182 00:07:49,518 --> 00:07:51,561 Does the machine recognize <i>that</i> as an ending? 183 00:07:51,562 --> 00:07:53,272 Hold on. 184 00:07:54,940 --> 00:07:57,066 It does. Kinda bleak, though. 185 00:07:57,067 --> 00:07:58,943 Shut up. I'm off to a jailbreak. 186 00:07:58,944 --> 00:08:00,862 Wh-What the hell am I supposed to do? 187 00:08:00,863 --> 00:08:02,071 You're the new bad guy. 188 00:08:02,072 --> 00:08:03,490 Hook up with the Hench-Weeds 189 00:08:03,491 --> 00:08:05,033 and give the Robo-Trees something to stop. 190 00:08:05,034 --> 00:08:06,576 Something to stop? What's that mean? 191 00:08:06,577 --> 00:08:07,660 See you in the third act. 192 00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:09,955 [ Tires screech ] 193 00:08:13,876 --> 00:08:16,044 Extra creatine, please. 194 00:08:16,045 --> 00:08:18,379 Yo, James Gunn. - Oh. Hi, Zack Snyder. 195 00:08:18,380 --> 00:08:21,174 Just saw your new cut of "Superman," and word of advice, 196 00:08:21,175 --> 00:08:23,968 he's the Man of Steel, not the Man of Conversation. 197 00:08:23,969 --> 00:08:26,179 - Okay. - Do more shots of him punching. 198 00:08:26,180 --> 00:08:28,056 And here's a secret move-- 199 00:08:28,057 --> 00:08:29,891 start the punch at regular speed, 200 00:08:29,892 --> 00:08:31,559 and then you're gonna ramp it down. 201 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,186 It's not a fucking secret. 202 00:08:33,187 --> 00:08:35,188 [ Sighs ] I'm sorry, Zack Snyder. 203 00:08:35,189 --> 00:08:36,689 I shouldn't be lashing out at you. 204 00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:38,358 Your biceps are the size of my head. 205 00:08:38,359 --> 00:08:42,153 Yes, but so is my heart. What's going on with you? 206 00:08:42,154 --> 00:08:44,906 Some fan of the Velocitree franchise 207 00:08:44,907 --> 00:08:46,241 got onto the lot today. 208 00:08:46,242 --> 00:08:48,368 He used a portal, and he just... 209 00:08:48,369 --> 00:08:51,412 Zack, we're not losing touch with the audience, are we? 210 00:08:51,413 --> 00:08:54,040 I mean, I gave notes on the Goddamn Count Chocula movie 211 00:08:54,041 --> 00:08:56,084 this morning-- - Was the portal green? 212 00:08:56,085 --> 00:08:57,794 That's Rick Sanchez. [ Chuckles ] 213 00:08:57,795 --> 00:08:59,754 Gunner, that's the guy that sealed Nolan 214 00:08:59,755 --> 00:09:01,172 in the giant bookcase 215 00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:03,383 to quote-unquote punish him for "Interstellar." 216 00:09:03,384 --> 00:09:05,093 He doesn't represent real fans. 217 00:09:05,094 --> 00:09:07,262 He's just the smartest man in the universe. 218 00:09:07,263 --> 00:09:10,515 Don't sweat it. He can't do what we do. 219 00:09:10,516 --> 00:09:11,933 Probably. 220 00:09:11,934 --> 00:09:13,434 Gonna go crush some weights. 221 00:09:13,435 --> 00:09:15,019 One day you're gonna wish you hit the gym 222 00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:16,688 like I do, James Gunn. 223 00:09:16,689 --> 00:09:23,945 {\an8}♪ 224 00:09:23,946 --> 00:09:25,238 Uh, hello? 225 00:09:25,239 --> 00:09:27,949 Is this Baron Thistle's evil base? 226 00:09:27,950 --> 00:09:29,868 Not anymore. We're packing it in. 227 00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:31,119 Gonna try to sell all this stuff 228 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:33,454 on my girlfriend's Etsy site. 229 00:09:33,455 --> 00:09:36,457 [ Panting ] Everyone, listen up. 230 00:09:36,458 --> 00:09:39,127 I'm here to get this place back up and running. 231 00:09:39,128 --> 00:09:42,046 I am the Son of Thistle. 232 00:09:42,047 --> 00:09:43,965 He does sorta have the same jacket. 233 00:09:43,966 --> 00:09:45,925 And his head is also a cactus. 234 00:09:45,926 --> 00:09:47,552 That's all the proof I need. 235 00:09:47,553 --> 00:09:49,304 Tell us what to do. 236 00:09:49,305 --> 00:09:50,638 Uh, well, 237 00:09:50,639 --> 00:09:53,057 what were y'all doing before Baron Thistle died? 238 00:09:53,058 --> 00:09:55,435 Oh. Uh. Y'know. Doomsday plan. 239 00:09:55,436 --> 00:09:57,020 We were gonna melt the ice caps. 240 00:09:57,021 --> 00:09:58,771 Spent months on the blueprints, 241 00:09:58,772 --> 00:10:00,356 not that your dad ever said, "Thank you." 242 00:10:00,357 --> 00:10:02,358 - W-What's your name? - Samantha. 243 00:10:02,359 --> 00:10:05,153 It sucks when your boss never says thank you, Samantha. 244 00:10:05,154 --> 00:10:08,615 But under me, everyone will feel appreciated. 245 00:10:08,616 --> 00:10:09,991 [ All cheer ] 246 00:10:09,992 --> 00:10:11,701 Samantha, I am putting you in charge 247 00:10:11,702 --> 00:10:15,496 of Operation: Complete and Total Polar Cap Destruction. 248 00:10:15,497 --> 00:10:19,709 Ohh. Thank you, sir. I've been feeling so low lately. 249 00:10:19,710 --> 00:10:21,961 I think it's 'cause my Mom forgot my birthday. 250 00:10:21,962 --> 00:10:24,672 Samantha, that will never happen again. 251 00:10:24,673 --> 00:10:26,634 I'm your Mom now. 252 00:10:27,468 --> 00:10:29,218 Now, let's melt some ice caps! 253 00:10:29,219 --> 00:10:33,056 [ Dance music playing, all cheering ] 254 00:10:33,057 --> 00:10:36,517 See. My Son of Thistle idea <i>did</i> work. 255 00:10:36,518 --> 00:10:39,562 Son of a bitch did it. He made a movie machine. 256 00:10:39,563 --> 00:10:41,482 Says it right on the side. 257 00:10:45,027 --> 00:10:47,321 [ Cellphone vibrating, ringing ] 258 00:10:48,405 --> 00:10:49,989 Hello? James Gunn: [ High-pitched ] <i>Hi, there.</i> 259 00:10:49,990 --> 00:10:52,867 <i>It's me. Your wife.</i> 260 00:10:52,868 --> 00:10:55,036 Here's your prison food, new guy. 261 00:10:55,037 --> 00:10:56,287 What you in for? 262 00:10:56,288 --> 00:10:57,872 The fastest crime I could commit. 263 00:10:57,873 --> 00:10:59,123 Any of you see an annoying little bitch 264 00:10:59,124 --> 00:11:00,709 of a Christmas tree? 265 00:11:02,628 --> 00:11:06,130 Oh, please. Oh, please, don't beat me. 266 00:11:06,131 --> 00:11:08,132 I won't. I'm here to rescue you. 267 00:11:08,133 --> 00:11:10,468 I'm not worth rescuing. 268 00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:11,678 - Huh? - I suck. 269 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:13,680 I say dumb catchphrases, 270 00:11:13,681 --> 00:11:17,725 I look like a t-- a toy designed for kids. 271 00:11:17,726 --> 00:11:19,852 I'm a fuckin' idiot. 272 00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:21,729 Wow. More self-aware than I thought. 273 00:11:21,730 --> 00:11:23,898 But, c'mon. Everyone sucks until they don't. 274 00:11:23,899 --> 00:11:25,316 That's the arc of every good story. 275 00:11:25,317 --> 00:11:27,360 - It is? - Here's the plan. 276 00:11:27,361 --> 00:11:29,320 I'll start a riot, and we sneak out. 277 00:11:29,321 --> 00:11:30,655 I know you're not a fighter, but-- 278 00:11:30,656 --> 00:11:32,240 When do we start? 279 00:11:32,241 --> 00:11:34,826 Oh. Uh, right now. 280 00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:38,746 Good. Take that back, asshole. 281 00:11:38,747 --> 00:11:40,289 [ Grunts ] 282 00:11:40,290 --> 00:11:42,792 I'll take it back when I stop fucking your mother. 283 00:11:42,793 --> 00:11:45,294 [ Both grunting ] 284 00:11:45,295 --> 00:11:47,506 Save some punching for the rest of us. 285 00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:50,717 Aah! - Lunch is ruined. 286 00:11:50,718 --> 00:11:52,802 [ Men grunting, screaming ] 287 00:11:52,803 --> 00:11:59,809 {\an8}♪ 288 00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:01,436 Whoa. Cool. [ Grunts ] 289 00:12:01,437 --> 00:12:04,023 Get your fucking rear in gear. 290 00:12:04,857 --> 00:12:06,315 James Gunn: [ High-pitched ] <i>I really miss you.</i> 291 00:12:06,316 --> 00:12:07,775 <i>I miss my hubby.</i> 292 00:12:07,776 --> 00:12:09,694 <i>Why don't you come into the kitchen?</i> 293 00:12:09,695 --> 00:12:12,613 Sure. But... why are you calling from a different phone number? 294 00:12:12,614 --> 00:12:15,908 Uh. It's a burner phone for spam calls. 295 00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:19,370 Come-- Come into the kitchen for some lemonade. 296 00:12:19,371 --> 00:12:21,789 Oh wow. Can't pass up lemonade. 297 00:12:21,790 --> 00:12:23,082 [ Laughs ] 298 00:12:23,083 --> 00:12:25,084 [ Normal voice ] The Movie-lizer is mine. 299 00:12:25,085 --> 00:12:29,505 No one's more creative than James Gunn. 300 00:12:29,506 --> 00:12:30,965 [ Laughs ] 301 00:12:30,966 --> 00:12:33,260 [ Both grunting ] 302 00:12:34,178 --> 00:12:36,012 [ Both grunt ] 303 00:12:36,013 --> 00:12:38,973 - Aah! - God damn it. We're stuck. 304 00:12:38,974 --> 00:12:41,934 [ Both grunt ] No we're not, Rick. 305 00:12:41,935 --> 00:12:44,020 - Aah! - Grab my stump. 306 00:12:44,021 --> 00:12:47,149 Yeah-ha! - Whoa! 307 00:12:49,485 --> 00:12:50,401 Ow. 308 00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:53,697 Holy shit. That was awesome. 309 00:12:55,657 --> 00:12:56,824 And so was that. 310 00:12:56,825 --> 00:12:58,326 - Whoo-hoo! Yeah! - Job well done. 311 00:12:58,327 --> 00:13:00,244 Alright. Thank the squirrels you're safe. 312 00:13:00,245 --> 00:13:03,122 Thank Rick Sanchez. He did everything. 313 00:13:03,123 --> 00:13:04,999 You did a lot, too. 314 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,334 Definitely more than I expected. 315 00:13:06,335 --> 00:13:09,962 Rick, I wanna thank you for rescuing me. 316 00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:13,341 Ah. Here. I want you to have this. 317 00:13:13,342 --> 00:13:14,717 It's a piece of me. 318 00:13:14,718 --> 00:13:16,511 Oh, uh. Thanks. 319 00:13:16,512 --> 00:13:18,179 Is this, like, one of your balls? 320 00:13:18,180 --> 00:13:21,015 Robo-Trees, something messed up is going viral 321 00:13:21,016 --> 00:13:23,142 all over Twit-Tok. 322 00:13:23,143 --> 00:13:25,853 <i>He-Hello, Earth. I'm the Son of Thistle,</i> 323 00:13:25,854 --> 00:13:29,065 <i>and I'm just like my dad, so I'ma Doomsdayin'.</i> 324 00:13:29,066 --> 00:13:31,526 <i>Samantha, tell the people what we're gonna do.</i> 325 00:13:31,527 --> 00:13:33,402 <i>We're gonna wipe out the polar ice caps</i> 326 00:13:33,403 --> 00:13:35,863 ' <i>cause they suuuuuuck.</i> 327 00:13:35,864 --> 00:13:39,701 Huh. Does the Movie-lizer still think we're on track? 328 00:13:40,577 --> 00:13:42,745 - Jerry? - [ Grunting ] 329 00:13:42,746 --> 00:13:45,540 - Jerry? - Fuckin' heavy. 330 00:13:45,541 --> 00:13:47,041 [ Clank! ] 331 00:13:47,042 --> 00:13:48,585 Shoulda listened to Snyder. 332 00:13:53,090 --> 00:13:57,010 Right on cue. Weeds, attack. 333 00:13:58,595 --> 00:14:01,472 Robo-Trees, let's stomp that prick. 334 00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:02,598 [ All grunt ] 335 00:14:02,599 --> 00:14:04,600 [ Grunting ] 336 00:14:04,601 --> 00:14:13,860 {\an8}♪ 337 00:14:13,861 --> 00:14:16,321 Where the hell is Tannenbaum? 338 00:14:20,450 --> 00:14:22,285 - Dude, where is he? - On the ship. 339 00:14:22,286 --> 00:14:24,078 Turns out, Tannenbaum's an alright guy. 340 00:14:24,079 --> 00:14:26,038 He's kinda my favorite character now. 341 00:14:26,039 --> 00:14:28,416 What? Look at me. I-I'm a fucking cactus. 342 00:14:28,417 --> 00:14:30,293 Relax. Trust the process. 343 00:14:30,294 --> 00:14:32,628 Oh, my God, you're re-breaking the story again? 344 00:14:32,629 --> 00:14:35,256 I wanna go home, and I didn't even think 345 00:14:35,257 --> 00:14:37,884 the last "Maximum Velocitree" was all that bad. 346 00:14:37,885 --> 00:14:39,719 You said it wasn't "Citizen Kane." 347 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,262 [ Both grunt ] I'm 14. 348 00:14:41,263 --> 00:14:43,097 I've never seen "Citizen Kane." 349 00:14:43,098 --> 00:14:45,683 Now, listen to me, you stupid old man, 350 00:14:45,684 --> 00:14:47,602 you're gonna bring Tannenbaum here, 351 00:14:47,603 --> 00:14:49,896 and I'm gonna shoot him in the Goddamn head 352 00:14:49,897 --> 00:14:51,898 just like we planned. 353 00:14:51,899 --> 00:14:54,192 Okay, okay, I'll help you kill him. 354 00:14:54,193 --> 00:14:57,403 - Uhhh. You're gonna do what? - Mom? 355 00:14:57,404 --> 00:14:59,572 You're in cahoots with the Robo-Trees? 356 00:14:59,573 --> 00:15:03,117 - Samantha. L-Let me explain. - Okay. Go ahead. 357 00:15:03,118 --> 00:15:04,994 Shit, she called my bluff. Run! 358 00:15:04,995 --> 00:15:07,080 Get them! 359 00:15:10,459 --> 00:15:12,793 Dad, help. Your dad's not fuckin' answering. 360 00:15:12,794 --> 00:15:16,464 James Gunn: <i>That's because he's in the kitchen, talking to his wife.</i> 361 00:15:16,465 --> 00:15:17,840 - James Gunn? - James Gunn? 362 00:15:17,841 --> 00:15:19,258 - That's right. - James Gunn? 363 00:15:19,259 --> 00:15:21,969 - Just walk away, man. Walk away. - But... 364 00:15:21,970 --> 00:15:24,138 I read that dinosaur book you wrote, Jerry. 365 00:15:24,139 --> 00:15:25,890 Really good stuff. - You did? 366 00:15:25,891 --> 00:15:29,018 Well. I got the gist. Maybe we could do business together? 367 00:15:29,019 --> 00:15:30,478 Two-picture deal? - Uh... 368 00:15:30,479 --> 00:15:32,521 - Dad, no. - Don't do it. We need you. 369 00:15:32,522 --> 00:15:35,149 That's it, Jerry. Give in to Hollywood. 370 00:15:35,150 --> 00:15:37,526 You know how to really succeed in this town? 371 00:15:37,527 --> 00:15:40,321 By turning your back on family. 372 00:15:40,322 --> 00:15:42,156 - I don't like that. - [ Grunts ] 373 00:15:42,157 --> 00:15:44,283 No. You could've had it all. 374 00:15:44,284 --> 00:15:46,869 - [ Grunts ] - Guys, I'm back. 375 00:15:46,870 --> 00:15:49,872 Geez-Louise, what did you do? The story's gone linear. 376 00:15:49,873 --> 00:15:52,458 <i>We pissed off the good guys and the bad guys.</i> 377 00:15:52,459 --> 00:15:54,252 <i>R-Rick likes Tannenbaum now.</i> 378 00:15:54,253 --> 00:15:56,337 - I just think he's interesting. - We need a new ending. 379 00:15:56,338 --> 00:15:58,005 I literally wrote us into a corner. 380 00:15:58,006 --> 00:15:59,465 Ya gotta write us outta here, Jerry. 381 00:15:59,466 --> 00:16:01,550 Me? You said I was a terrible writer 382 00:16:01,551 --> 00:16:03,594 who should never, ever, ever, ever, ever-- 383 00:16:03,595 --> 00:16:05,638 <i>I didn't say that many "evers." Listen, Jerry,</i> 384 00:16:05,639 --> 00:16:07,765 any idiot can plug an idea into a machine 385 00:16:07,766 --> 00:16:09,600 when they don't care what it spits back out, 386 00:16:09,601 --> 00:16:11,310 but it takes a special kind of idiot 387 00:16:11,311 --> 00:16:13,020 to get on the keys and write us an ending. 388 00:16:13,021 --> 00:16:14,397 <i>You're that idiot.</i> 389 00:16:14,398 --> 00:16:15,564 But how? 390 00:16:15,565 --> 00:16:17,233 <i>It's always been right in front of you--</i> 391 00:16:17,234 --> 00:16:18,401 <i>go over to my workbench.</i> 392 00:16:18,402 --> 00:16:20,695 Uh. Alright. I'm there. 393 00:16:20,696 --> 00:16:22,822 <i>Open the third drawer on the right and reach way back.</i> 394 00:16:22,823 --> 00:16:24,407 <i>There should be a small orange bottle.</i> 395 00:16:24,408 --> 00:16:27,076 W-What is it? Some sci-fi device? 396 00:16:27,077 --> 00:16:29,537 <i>Better. It's magic.</i> 397 00:16:29,538 --> 00:16:31,330 <i>Don't take more than two, drink lots of water,</i> 398 00:16:31,331 --> 00:16:33,375 <i>and remember to blink.</i> 399 00:16:34,584 --> 00:16:39,130 I now pronounce you two both guilty and dead. 400 00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:40,881 Aw, geez. Dad? Help. 401 00:16:40,882 --> 00:16:42,675 Jerry: <i>Then, as fate would have it,</i> 402 00:16:42,676 --> 00:16:44,885 <i>a very large air vent opened beneath them.</i> 403 00:16:44,886 --> 00:16:47,930 Our heroes escape execution via the large vented air vent. 404 00:16:47,931 --> 00:16:50,308 As fate would have it, this is a direct path to the outside. 405 00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:53,394 Slam cut to-- exterior-- New York-- day. 406 00:16:53,395 --> 00:16:55,438 [ Both grunt ] New York? 407 00:16:55,439 --> 00:16:56,939 Why are we in New York? 408 00:16:56,940 --> 00:16:58,232 Stop micro-managing me. 409 00:16:58,233 --> 00:16:59,734 <i>Then, as fate would have it,</i> 410 00:16:59,735 --> 00:17:01,610 <i>a high-octane Lamborgina pulls up.</i> 411 00:17:01,611 --> 00:17:03,195 Whoopsie, forgot how to drive. 412 00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:04,573 Here kid, catch. 413 00:17:05,490 --> 00:17:06,991 Whoa. The Adderall is hittin'. 414 00:17:06,992 --> 00:17:08,617 Get in the car 415 00:17:08,618 --> 00:17:10,619 [ Tires squeal ] 416 00:17:10,620 --> 00:17:18,836 {\an8}♪ 417 00:17:18,837 --> 00:17:20,963 [ Tires squeal ] 418 00:17:20,964 --> 00:17:22,965 [ Both screaming ] 419 00:17:22,966 --> 00:17:28,262 {\an8}♪ 420 00:17:28,263 --> 00:17:30,431 [ Horn honks ] 421 00:17:30,432 --> 00:17:32,601 [ Both screaming ] 422 00:17:35,604 --> 00:17:37,730 Okay, Jerry, now get us to the climax. 423 00:17:37,731 --> 00:17:39,774 Uh, Nerth Pole? 424 00:17:39,775 --> 00:17:42,443 [ Grunts ] No, t-that's where Samantha built the super weapon. 425 00:17:42,444 --> 00:17:44,779 Dad's trying to get us back on course. 426 00:17:44,780 --> 00:17:46,531 Hang on. 427 00:17:48,283 --> 00:17:51,077 Yes. We've got curvature. 428 00:17:51,078 --> 00:17:52,953 [ Both grunt ] 429 00:17:52,954 --> 00:17:54,539 [ Screams ] 430 00:17:58,168 --> 00:17:59,627 Guessing that's your doomsday weapon? 431 00:17:59,628 --> 00:18:01,128 We're nearin' the end of the movie. 432 00:18:01,129 --> 00:18:02,797 Damn. Samantha built it fast. 433 00:18:02,798 --> 00:18:05,132 I guess supporting those beneath you-- Here they come! 434 00:18:05,133 --> 00:18:07,218 [ Panting ] 435 00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:30,408 {\an8}♪ 436 00:18:30,409 --> 00:18:32,076 We have 1.63 minutes 437 00:18:32,077 --> 00:18:33,452 before the melting polar ice caps 438 00:18:33,453 --> 00:18:35,329 reach the point of no return. 439 00:18:35,330 --> 00:18:37,998 - We got company. - Stop that traitor. 440 00:18:37,999 --> 00:18:41,210 Shit, Morty, I-I think I figured out the best ending yet. 441 00:18:41,211 --> 00:18:43,129 Hello, Mother. 442 00:18:43,130 --> 00:18:45,464 You deal with that. I don't know what that's about. 443 00:18:45,465 --> 00:18:47,091 Come and get me, trees. 444 00:18:47,092 --> 00:18:51,512 Samantha, hey, beautiful job on the w-weapon thing. 445 00:18:51,513 --> 00:18:54,306 I thought you actually liked my evil plan. 446 00:18:54,307 --> 00:18:56,559 But let's face it, you're no mother. 447 00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,186 You're just a bad guy. 448 00:18:59,187 --> 00:19:01,063 Step away from that super weapon. 449 00:19:01,064 --> 00:19:04,776 - Let's blast him. - For once, I agree with you. 450 00:19:05,569 --> 00:19:09,905 Sto-o-o-p. Don't shoot. He's a good man. 451 00:19:09,906 --> 00:19:11,449 He saved me. 452 00:19:11,450 --> 00:19:13,576 - No. I'm bad. - Huh? 453 00:19:13,577 --> 00:19:15,536 I only rescued you so I could have you killed. 454 00:19:15,537 --> 00:19:19,165 I hate you, Tannenbaum. You look like a toy. 455 00:19:19,166 --> 00:19:21,041 D-Die already! - Gun! 456 00:19:21,042 --> 00:19:24,170 [ Grunts ] 457 00:19:24,171 --> 00:19:27,214 See you... next... summer... 458 00:19:27,215 --> 00:19:32,344 Wait. No. No-o-o-o-o! 459 00:19:32,345 --> 00:19:41,103 {\an8}♪ 460 00:19:41,104 --> 00:19:43,814 You saved the world from another unarmed man. 461 00:19:43,815 --> 00:19:46,317 [ Gasps ] Oh, no. They died? 462 00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:50,529 Sometimes saving the world requires complex decisions. 463 00:19:50,530 --> 00:19:53,950 Decisions made by a true leader. 464 00:19:55,410 --> 00:19:59,873 Hail, Tannen-Knight, leader of the Robo-Trees. 465 00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:03,375 They did it. What an ending. 466 00:20:03,376 --> 00:20:06,378 They outdone the Gunn. 467 00:20:06,379 --> 00:20:08,340 [ Electricity zapping ] 468 00:20:09,174 --> 00:20:11,592 - We're back. Oh, my God. - We're alive. Oh. Oh. 469 00:20:11,593 --> 00:20:13,969 We were dead in the movie, actually dead. 470 00:20:13,970 --> 00:20:17,139 Wow, Dad. L-Looks like us dying really affected you. 471 00:20:17,140 --> 00:20:18,807 No, he just forgot to blink. 472 00:20:18,808 --> 00:20:21,101 Still. I admit it. Making movies is hard. 473 00:20:21,102 --> 00:20:23,687 From now on, I'm just gonna be an impossible-to-please fan. 474 00:20:23,688 --> 00:20:26,607 You said it. Let's go troll some comment sections. 475 00:20:26,608 --> 00:20:28,776 [ Tires squeal ] Oh, God, where'd James Gunn go? 476 00:20:28,777 --> 00:20:31,695 Fuck James Gunn. Where's the Goddamn hard drive? 477 00:20:31,696 --> 00:20:34,907 I'm telling, Mr. Brothers, they cracked the code. 478 00:20:34,908 --> 00:20:38,285 This won't just put butts in seats and sell popcorn. 479 00:20:38,286 --> 00:20:40,120 It will give people hope. 480 00:20:40,121 --> 00:20:43,791 It could save Hollywood. It could change everything. 481 00:20:43,792 --> 00:20:47,586 Nice work, Mr. Gunn. Give the man a sundae. 482 00:20:47,587 --> 00:20:49,713 Ooh, I love sundaes. 483 00:20:49,714 --> 00:20:50,965 Aah! 484 00:20:50,966 --> 00:20:59,056 {\an8}♪ 485 00:20:59,057 --> 00:21:03,227 [ Weakly ] Why was it called a sundae? 486 00:21:03,228 --> 00:21:04,436 [ Grunts ] 487 00:21:04,437 --> 00:21:06,981 {\an8}♪ It's a "Maximum Velocitree" ♪ 488 00:21:06,982 --> 00:21:09,066 {\an8}♪ Robotic trees against adversity ♪ 489 00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:11,694 {\an8}♪ It's not rocket science or geometry ♪ 490 00:21:11,695 --> 00:21:13,988 {\an8}♪ So sit on back and watch the movie ♪ 491 00:21:13,989 --> 00:21:15,823 {\an8}♪ Five trees against a cactus man ♪ 492 00:21:15,824 --> 00:21:17,866 {\an8}♪ Next summer, we'll be back again ♪ 493 00:21:17,867 --> 00:21:19,743 {\an8}♪ Gotta fill our content demand ♪ 494 00:21:19,744 --> 00:21:22,246 {\an8}♪ If domestic tanks, there's always Japan ♪ 495 00:21:22,247 --> 00:21:23,622 {\an8}♪ All we need is friendship and sunshine ♪ 496 00:21:23,623 --> 00:21:25,249 {\an8}♪ Choking on a wild vine ♪ 497 00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:26,834 {\an8}♪ No one stops us growing from the ground up ♪ 498 00:21:26,835 --> 00:21:28,252 {\an8}♪ Baron Thistle and his hench-weeds ♪ 499 00:21:28,253 --> 00:21:29,753 {\an8}♪ Lookin' like some bad seeds ♪ 500 00:21:29,754 --> 00:21:31,505 {\an8}♪ Now Velocitrees are gonna round up ♪ 501 00:21:31,506 --> 00:21:33,299 {\an8}♪ They have a tendency to fight tyrannic succulents ♪ 502 00:21:33,300 --> 00:21:36,510 {\an8}♪ They have a tendency for kicking plant ass ♪ 503 00:21:36,511 --> 00:21:38,095 {\an8}♪ It's a "Maximum Velocitree" ♪ 504 00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:39,763 Okay, Jerry. All set. 505 00:21:39,764 --> 00:21:41,515 But for the record, I do not condone 506 00:21:41,516 --> 00:21:42,808 using the Movie-lizer in this way. 507 00:21:42,809 --> 00:21:44,727 Hear that, Dad? You're good to go. 508 00:21:44,728 --> 00:21:48,022 Jerry: <i>Can't believe I'm actually inside "Space Jam 7."</i> 509 00:21:48,023 --> 00:21:50,441 <i>Oh, hey, LeBron. Still doing this, huh?</i> 510 00:21:50,442 --> 00:21:51,985 Let's get outta here. 511 00:21:53,695 --> 00:21:55,112 Hey, guys, you know how 512 00:21:55,113 --> 00:21:57,031 I've been writing raptor porn on the side? 513 00:21:57,032 --> 00:21:59,534 I'm ready to share it with the world. 514 00:22:00,368 --> 00:22:02,703 Oh, well, guess I'll just leave it on this machine 515 00:22:02,704 --> 00:22:04,163 till they come back. 516 00:22:04,164 --> 00:22:05,956 [ Movie-lizer whirs, electricity zaps ] 517 00:22:05,957 --> 00:22:08,834 <i>Guys? You still there? Oh, no.</i> 518 00:22:08,835 --> 00:22:10,711 <i>Dear God. What is that?</i> 519 00:22:10,712 --> 00:22:13,505 [ <i>Raptor roaring</i> ] <i>Aah! Stop! Let go of me!</i> 520 00:22:13,506 --> 00:22:15,674 <i>What are you doing? Stop!</i> 521 00:22:15,675 --> 00:22:17,551 <i>Don't just stand there, Speedy Gonzales.</i> 522 00:22:17,552 --> 00:22:19,054 <i>Do something!</i> 523 00:22:20,430 --> 00:22:22,057 Did you get any of that?