The Opening of Misty Beethoven

1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 2 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:11,680 Tremendous! 3 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,680 Outrageous! Great! 4 00:02:20,650 --> 00:02:22,610 Fantastic! 5 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:25,270 Tremendous! 6 00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:27,690 Unbelievable! Unbelievable! 7 00:02:35,870 --> 00:02:37,830 Excuse me. My gum was in front of you. 8 00:02:38,330 --> 00:02:39,750 How do you know that was yours? 9 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,000 I???'? 10 00:02:41,250 --> 00:02:43,290 Five seats in! Five's my lucky number. You American? 11 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,250 - Most of the time. - Want a no-frills? 12 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:47,760 - What's a no-frills? - Five bucks for a hand-job. 13 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,120 - Could we be a little less public? - Fifty bucks. One hour. 14 00:02:51,340 --> 00:02:53,640 - Make it a little less. - Okay. Thirty-five. 15 00:02:54,350 --> 00:02:56,180 - Good. - And ten for the room. 16 00:02:56,430 --> 00:02:58,990 - And five for the soap and towels. - Well, that's fifty dollars! 17 00:02:59,140 --> 00:03:00,600 Take it or leave it. 18 00:03:00,850 --> 00:03:02,730 - Deal. - I'll meet you outside in ten minutes. 19 00:03:02,980 --> 00:03:05,520 - Ten minutes? - Ten minutes. I have to meet Napoleon. 20 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:08,400 - Napoleon? - Napoleon! 21 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,320 Hi! You're right on time! 22 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:53,170 We can go over there. 23 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,400 - You want the private room? - Nothing less! 24 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,680 100 francs. Merci. 25 00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:11,270 Listen! I do a straight fuck. I don't take it in the mouth. 26 00:05:11,730 --> 00:05:14,780 I don't take it in the ass. And I don't take it in the bed. 27 00:05:15,110 --> 00:05:17,030 - Straight fuck. - But I do a terrific hand-job. 28 00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:18,450 That appeals to you more? 29 00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:21,080 If you take a hand-job, I'll give you ten dollars back. 30 00:05:21,660 --> 00:05:23,620 What would you give back if you didn't have to do anything at all? 31 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,910 Are you one of those freaks from the embassy? 32 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,000 No, I'd just like to ask you a few questions. 33 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:29,000 Like what? 34 00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:32,630 Well, for instance, at what price would you agree to suck someone off? 35 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:34,300 I'd clean floors first. 36 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:36,340 Then we can safely assume that... 37 00:05:36,590 --> 00:05:41,140 There are a lot of people in this world. And some dig it, and some don't. 38 00:05:41,430 --> 00:05:43,070 - Would you show me your asshole? - What?! 39 00:05:43,180 --> 00:05:45,460 Do you leave your bathroom door open when you have guests? 40 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:46,880 You can get the fuck out of here! 41 00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:47,940 Don't be hasty. 42 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,020 - That sounds familiar. - What? 43 00:05:53,690 --> 00:05:55,650 My God, it's Geraldine! 44 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:00,320 Geraldine! 45 00:06:00,570 --> 00:06:01,820 Seymour! 46 00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,830 What the fuck are you doing in Paris? 47 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:07,580 Paris is the only place to recover from a Lawrence Layman party. 48 00:06:07,830 --> 00:06:09,790 - I was there! Were you there? - One minute. 49 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:12,770 I'm gonna come! 50 00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:45,430 Well done. 51 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:49,640 - Do you have 100 francs? - Oh, sure. 52 00:07:49,890 --> 00:07:53,140 Actually, I don't remember if I was at the party. But I should have been. 53 00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,310 - Are you through here? - No! Come with me! Look! 54 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,280 This is something you really will not believe. 55 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,820 My little temptress, this is Geraldine Rich, 56 00:08:00,070 --> 00:08:01,860 who is both very Geraldine and very rich. 57 00:08:02,110 --> 00:08:03,910 And she would like you to give her some head. 58 00:08:04,110 --> 00:08:06,110 - Oh my God. - Just a little suck between strangers! 59 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,570 Stop saying that! 60 00:08:07,830 --> 00:08:11,000 You're the most disgusting pair I've met since I started making money in this business. 61 00:08:11,250 --> 00:08:14,460 You should return every penny you've made since you started in this business. 62 00:08:14,710 --> 00:08:16,460 Or give a rebate, like the car companies. 63 00:08:16,710 --> 00:08:18,460 - I do my job. - You do? 64 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,670 My clear, you are the absolute nadir of passion. 65 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,170 The most unexciting thing God has ever created. 66 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,800 A sexual civil-service worker. 67 00:08:27,050 --> 00:08:29,760 Nobody needs to read my last book more 68 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,350 or deserves to be in my next book less than you. 69 00:08:33,020 --> 00:08:35,810 - What book is that? - The Annals of Passion. 70 00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:38,730 - I'll send you a copy. - You don't know my address. 71 00:08:39,020 --> 00:08:40,980 I'll send it to the seat in the movie theater. 72 00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:44,570 Oh Seymour! She's only trying to get ahead in the world! 73 00:08:45,030 --> 00:08:46,070 Does the book really work? 74 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,200 - You may be the exception. - Seymour, help her! 75 00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,580 Well, I could if anybody could. 76 00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:53,450 I could make her the Goldenrod Girl! 77 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,540 The Goldenrod Girl? Seymour, you go too far. 78 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,960 No! I could do it! The Love Lessons could do it. 79 00:08:58,580 --> 00:08:59,250 Do what? 80 00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:02,460 Make you Lawrence Layman's old lady at the next party he throws. 81 00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:06,050 - Who's Lawrence Layman? - You're off to a good start, Seymour! 82 00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:07,550 - I could do it. - Bet you. 83 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,300 - What? - My soul, Dr. Love, 84 00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:11,390 and my commitment to publish the result. 85 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:13,220 You're on! 86 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,190 You want a job? 87 00:09:20,730 --> 00:09:23,150 There's something about you that's not quite right. 88 00:09:23,820 --> 00:09:25,690 I don't know. 89 00:09:25,990 --> 00:09:28,990 Okay. See you in the movies! 90 00:09:31,410 --> 00:09:33,370 Buy yourself some popcorn. 91 00:09:58,770 --> 00:10:01,440 I gotcha all to myself for one hour, baby. 92 00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:18,960 HEY! Hey, wait for me! 93 00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:21,210 Good night! 94 00:10:21,460 --> 00:10:23,380 I changed my mind. I'll go with you! 95 00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:25,460 Okay. 96 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,840 - What's your name? - Misty Beethoven. 97 00:10:28,090 --> 00:10:29,380 Is that your real name? 98 00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,510 No, it's not. I took it to sound more important. 99 00:10:32,470 --> 00:10:35,350 - What was it before? - Dolores Beethoven 100 00:10:35,930 --> 00:10:37,390 I should have guessed. 101 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,520 Well, I hope you like flying! 102 00:11:03,420 --> 00:11:05,960 Now... who gets the vodka? 103 00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:06,750 I do. 104 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:08,630 And the Bloody Mary? Right. 105 00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:18,270 - It'll be strange to be back in the States. - First trip? 106 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:21,310 - Excuse me, Do you think the pilot would give me some head? - No, I tripped with my brother when I was 16. 107 00:11:21,690 --> 00:11:24,980 - I don't know. I'll ask him as soon as we're through with the dinner service. - It was at a dance. I learned a lot from that trip. 108 00:11:25,230 --> 00:11:25,730 Thank you. 109 00:11:25,980 --> 00:11:27,860 Well... you're gonna learn a lot from this trip. 110 00:11:30,570 --> 00:11:33,320 Now, the Goldenrod Girl is the invention of Lawrence Layman. 111 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:38,540 Unlike some titles like Cunt of the Year or Ballbreaker of the Century, 112 00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:42,160 the Goldenrod Girl is chosen informally and spontaneously. 113 00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:46,710 Now, sometime during the next three or four months, 114 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:51,260 the period will begin where he's going to want to make some kind of a splash. 115 00:11:51,550 --> 00:11:55,090 So, he'll announce the most exciting new girl of the season. 116 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:59,060 Usually a jet-setter. Sometimes an actress. 117 00:11:59,430 --> 00:12:02,680 Once, they had a politician's daughter, but that's very rare. 118 00:12:03,850 --> 00:12:08,690 I think that the time is right for a complete unknown. 119 00:12:08,940 --> 00:12:10,940 - That's me? - No. 120 00:12:11,190 --> 00:12:12,530 - No? - No. 121 00:12:13,490 --> 00:12:14,950 It WILL be you. 122 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:55,400 Okay, let's get you undressed. 123 00:12:56,660 --> 00:12:58,910 No, no, no. You don't do it yourself. 124 00:12:59,580 --> 00:13:01,240 You don't know how, for one thing. 125 00:13:01,620 --> 00:13:06,750 And for another thing, when a man undresses a woman he gets a certain amount of pleasure from that. 126 00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:12,380 Or, if she undresses solely for him, he gets a certain amount of pleasure from that also. 127 00:13:14,420 --> 00:13:18,050 Misty, it is your job to learn to develop in yourself 128 00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:23,810 the instinct to convert a trivial act, a mundane routine, a daily chore 129 00:13:24,060 --> 00:13:28,690 into something stimulating, creative, and above all communicative. 130 00:13:29,980 --> 00:13:31,940 I think men stink. 131 00:13:33,070 --> 00:13:34,570 Well... they think you stink. 132 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:38,320 In fact, it's one of the most perfectly balanced equations in nature. 133 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,590 Whenever you see that, it's a triumph! 134 00:13:58,340 --> 00:14:02,720 You say to yourself, look: I made that. It comes at my request. 135 00:14:02,970 --> 00:14:07,020 - It's my pride. - And sometimes a woman has to swallow her pride. 136 00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:08,940 Can you make a man come when you want? 137 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:10,600 I think so. 138 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,480 Well, you're going to make three men come simultaneously. 139 00:14:13,900 --> 00:14:15,860 Why? 140 00:14:16,650 --> 00:14:18,700 It'll give you confidence. 141 00:14:46,310 --> 00:14:48,390 The erotic impulse is like rain. 142 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:52,230 And as it seeps down the water table of sexual custom 143 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,610 it becomes less intoxicating and less potent. 144 00:14:55,860 --> 00:15:01,110 It seeps down, social class by social class, floor by floor 145 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,870 step by step, until it reaches... the basement. 146 00:15:04,660 --> 00:15:07,410 - Fuck you! - Nope. Fuck them. 147 00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:11,750 Misty, never forget the cardinal rule. 148 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:15,960 As Hyman Mandell once said, 149 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:23,470 Never let the fact that they are doing it wrong stop you from doing it right. 150 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,050 - Who is Hyman Mandell? - I don't know. 151 00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:30,140 I read that on the men's room wall at the New York Athletic Club. 152 00:15:39,990 --> 00:15:44,240 Misty, now remember. Most women stop sucking at the moment of orgasm. 153 00:15:44,660 --> 00:15:47,530 That, however, is when the real woman just begins to suck. 154 00:15:48,450 --> 00:15:53,290 And one, and two. And in and out. 155 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:22,070 - When do we show her? - Soon... but not too soon. 156 00:16:23,110 --> 00:16:28,490 Remember: The play is the thing wherein I'll catch the hardon of the king. 157 00:16:30,950 --> 00:16:32,660 Lawrence Layman. 158 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:36,290 The man who gave the world the magazine Goldenrod, 159 00:16:36,540 --> 00:16:37,880 right where it deserves. 160 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,800 You know, you're selfish. 161 00:16:42,340 --> 00:16:43,970 You know you're self-obsessed. 162 00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:48,050 You know you're an egomaniac. 163 00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:51,930 You know your magazine stinks? 164 00:16:53,850 --> 00:16:56,390 You know, you're not as bright as everyone thinks you are. 165 00:16:58,270 --> 00:16:59,900 You know, you're not so talented. 166 00:17:02,530 --> 00:17:03,820 You know you have a gray hair? 167 00:17:04,150 --> 00:17:07,110 A gray hair? What the fuck are you talking about I got a gray hair? Where? 168 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,050 You know, she did okay. 169 00:17:22,670 --> 00:17:24,800 What's the artful dodger thinking of now? 170 00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:28,470 Get to the battle early! Nelson said that. 171 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:32,970 - Lord Nelson? - No, Nelson Eddie. In Naughty Marietta. 172 00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:37,850 - Why get to the battle early? - So you can leave early. How do I know! 173 00:17:38,650 --> 00:17:41,520 - Let's go to Rome. - We can stay at my place! 174 00:17:46,860 --> 00:17:49,780 - I can confirm your return on that date. - That's wonderful. 175 00:17:50,030 --> 00:17:52,490 The destination is New York, and that's first class? 176 00:17:52,740 --> 00:17:54,700 - Correct. - Which part of First Class? 177 00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:56,790 - Sex or non-sex? - Sex. 178 00:17:57,580 --> 00:18:01,630 First Class sex non-smoking or First Class sex smoking? 179 00:18:02,170 --> 00:18:04,130 First Class sex non-smoking. 180 00:18:04,340 --> 00:18:09,970 First class sex non-smoking adult film or first class sex non-smoking family film? 181 00:18:10,220 --> 00:18:13,100 Oh, First Class sex non-smoking adult film. 182 00:18:13,350 --> 00:18:19,060 First class sex non-smoking adult film vegetarian, Kosher, or regular meals? 183 00:18:19,310 --> 00:18:20,900 Regular meals. 184 00:18:21,150 --> 00:18:23,730 Are you a fucker or mostly interested in a little head? 185 00:18:24,230 --> 00:18:26,190 - Just a little head. - Very good. 186 00:18:26,780 --> 00:18:31,280 That's three seats, Cascade flight 111, destination New York. 187 00:18:32,030 --> 00:18:37,750 First Class, sex, non-smoking, adult film, no special meals, 188 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,290 interested in a little head and a lot of pleasure. Happy landing. 189 00:18:41,540 --> 00:18:42,330 Thank you. 190 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:52,340 Okay, let's see. We have one dinner, a brandy, two blow-jobs and a headset, right? 191 00:18:53,050 --> 00:18:56,930 Excuse me, but I had one blow job and I haven't gotten my brandy yet. 192 00:18:57,180 --> 00:19:03,020 Oh, okay. Look, you've charged him here for two blow-jobs and a brandy. 193 00:19:03,270 --> 00:19:06,650 Now, he's only had one blow-job and he hasn't gotten his brandy. 194 00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:10,450 Oh, excuse me. Just let me get rid of these things, okay? 195 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,770 Madam? Excuse me. 196 00:20:27,020 --> 00:20:29,770 Madam? Madam? 197 00:20:31,070 --> 00:20:32,570 Madam? 198 00:20:34,780 --> 00:20:37,950 - Yes? - Are you holding a first class ticket? 199 00:20:38,530 --> 00:20:40,490 No, as a matter of fact, I'm not. 200 00:20:41,330 --> 00:20:44,330 I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to return to the coach section. 201 00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:46,670 Could you wait one minute, please? 202 00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:50,920 Passengers holding coach tickets are permitted in the First Class cabin 203 00:20:51,170 --> 00:20:53,630 only before take-off and after landing. 204 00:20:55,970 --> 00:20:59,470 Rules are rules... pilot's wife or no pilot's wife. 205 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:09,060 - Where are we staying? - Geraldine's little shack in the country. 206 00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,900 What's the biggest difference between New York and Rome? 207 00:21:13,150 --> 00:21:14,990 There aren't as many Italians in Rome. 208 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,890 - Hey, I like what you've clone! - It's home. 209 00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:50,270 - Seymour, when do you want the car? - Six o'clock tomorrow. 210 00:21:51,270 --> 00:21:53,230 Well, Misty... 211 00:21:54,190 --> 00:21:57,740 Misty, in order to be something sexually, 212 00:21:57,990 --> 00:22:01,030 it is absolutely necessary to begin by being nothing sexually. 213 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,990 - Like my Napoleon? - We're not even gonna talk about him. 214 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,320 Now the important thing is that you learn to concentrate on what you're doing. 215 00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:09,700 That's why tomorrow night I don't want you to say a word. 216 00:22:10,210 --> 00:22:11,380 Is that important? 217 00:22:11,630 --> 00:22:15,090 Misty, do you know why people have unsatisfactory sexual relations? 218 00:22:15,340 --> 00:22:17,380 - No. - Because they talk too goddamn much. 219 00:22:18,550 --> 00:22:22,550 And the say the wrong thing. They turn somebody on and then immediately they turn them off. 220 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,680 And we don't want to make that mistake with you. 221 00:22:24,810 --> 00:22:27,890 So tomorrow night, I don't want you to open your mouth. 222 00:22:28,140 --> 00:22:30,980 - You don't? - Well... you know what I mean. 223 00:22:37,070 --> 00:22:40,820 Tomorrow night, you're going out to the ballet with some delightful people. 224 00:22:46,290 --> 00:22:48,250 You know how I hate being late anywhere. 225 00:22:48,830 --> 00:22:50,790 Please! 226 00:22:54,210 --> 00:22:59,010 We could've gotten home thirty minutes sooner if you didn't have to putz around that way. 227 00:23:08,980 --> 00:23:10,440 - How are you? - Hi. 228 00:23:10,690 --> 00:23:11,900 Hi, how are you? 229 00:23:12,150 --> 00:23:13,670 They should have picked him up by now. 230 00:23:13,770 --> 00:23:15,980 - Nice meeting you. - Thank you. 231 00:23:16,230 --> 00:23:18,110 Don't talk with your mouth full! 232 00:23:20,070 --> 00:23:22,990 They should be at the opera house. 233 00:23:36,340 --> 00:23:40,090 Now, Alfredo Spantini is a man who when he wants to get off, 234 00:23:40,340 --> 00:23:44,510 wants to get off right away, no matter where he happens to be. 235 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:55,400 But he has a special problem. He has difficulty sustaining his excitement. 236 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:25,050 And right now they should be in the toilet. 237 00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:01,800 Blast off! 238 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,110 I have never seen anything so shocking in all my life! 239 00:25:28,070 --> 00:25:31,240 Don't you young people have any respect for others any more? 240 00:25:31,740 --> 00:25:34,330 I never would have done such a thing when I was your age! 241 00:25:34,580 --> 00:25:37,290 I would have had more consideration for other people! 242 00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:42,210 Why, if he couldn't control himself, I would have sucked him off in a telephone booth. 243 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,520 Did you hear what happened at the ballet in Rome the other night? 244 00:25:55,770 --> 00:25:56,890 No! What happened? 245 00:25:57,140 --> 00:26:00,190 This girl did a number with Alfredo Spantini in the toilet. 246 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,820 - Oh, you don't say! - Everybody in Rome is talking about it! 247 00:26:04,150 --> 00:26:06,230 - Oh, you know how they exaggerate. - Quite shocking. 248 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:08,240 I hear she swings both ways. 249 00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:12,420 So what? My wife fucked the maid for years. It never affected her relationship with her lover. 250 00:26:12,660 --> 00:26:15,700 - Who is she? - I think she's new. Her name is... 251 00:26:15,950 --> 00:26:18,580 Misty Beethoven! So long. 252 00:26:19,210 --> 00:26:21,490 Dear, have you ever heard of a girl named Misty Beethoven? 253 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:24,380 No. Why? 254 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:29,510 Exaviera Bernstein said that she freaked everyone at the Firebird in Rome Monday night. 255 00:26:29,970 --> 00:26:33,760 - Yeah? - Yes. Matinee AND evening performances. 256 00:26:34,060 --> 00:26:35,140 So who the fuck is she? 257 00:26:35,390 --> 00:26:38,600 Misty Beethoven is getting her name in the paper! 258 00:26:38,850 --> 00:26:42,020 They're talking about Misty Beethoven! 259 00:26:42,270 --> 00:26:45,070 They're talking about Misty Beethoven! 260 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:49,900 It says here that Misty Beethoven is the perfect example of an oversexed Capricorn. 261 00:26:50,150 --> 00:26:50,790 Misty Beethoven? 262 00:26:51,030 --> 00:26:54,330 Yes. The new cunt on the scene. Get me a run-down on her. 263 00:26:54,580 --> 00:26:57,460 Hey! Did you hear Misty Beethoven was born on the International Date Line 264 00:26:57,540 --> 00:26:59,780 and only three astrologers in the world can do her chart! 265 00:26:59,910 --> 00:27:03,230 It seems she has the compulsion to be sexually satisfied wherever she happens to be. 266 00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:05,750 - She must be a Scorpio. - Scorpio? 267 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,760 Aren't Scorpios usually frigid? 268 00:27:08,010 --> 00:27:11,430 It says here that Misty Beethoven is the perfect example of an Aquarius! 269 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:15,100 Aquarius! Aquarians take it in the ass, don't they? 270 00:27:15,390 --> 00:27:19,390 Of course they do, you romantic fool! Of course they do. 271 00:27:19,810 --> 00:27:21,480 So what did you find out about her? 272 00:27:21,730 --> 00:27:24,610 Well... Sandra Bromowitz thinks she may be from Belgium! 273 00:28:18,870 --> 00:28:20,330 I'll never get this. 274 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:29,750 - Who on earth is she? - I don't know. I've heard... 275 00:28:31,420 --> 00:28:33,720 that her mother's Hungarian. 276 00:28:33,970 --> 00:28:36,140 Hungarian! It's getting better. 277 00:28:36,550 --> 00:28:38,140 - I think she's ready. - For what? 278 00:28:38,390 --> 00:28:41,520 To venture out into the world and simultaneously, at the very same moment 279 00:28:41,770 --> 00:28:44,810 without her fingers leaving her hands, both scheme and fuck at the same time. 280 00:28:45,900 --> 00:28:47,860 Stupendous, Dr. Love. Want a bet? 281 00:28:48,110 --> 00:28:49,070 You're on. 282 00:28:50,150 --> 00:28:51,570 Who is she going to ball? 283 00:28:51,820 --> 00:28:55,530 - She is going to ball an impotent man. - I'm leaving. 284 00:28:57,570 --> 00:28:59,450 She's not up to that. 285 00:29:00,490 --> 00:29:02,450 Maybe not. But let's hope she's down to it. 286 00:29:03,290 --> 00:29:06,420 - I know I'll blow it. - Well said, my dear. 287 00:29:08,210 --> 00:29:11,050 But don't worry. It may look like we're rushing things a bit, 288 00:29:11,250 --> 00:29:14,460 but the fact is if you're going to walk and talk at the same time, it's necessary 289 00:29:14,670 --> 00:29:17,990 that we find somebody that if you do fall on your ass, it won't make any difference. 290 00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:19,550 Sounds like my first husband! 291 00:29:19,930 --> 00:29:22,350 - The target is in Europe at the moment. - Who is it? 292 00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:26,020 - Guess. - Chiang Kai-shek. No, he's dead. 293 00:29:26,270 --> 00:29:28,830 It's someone who's really rather attractive for an important man. 294 00:29:29,020 --> 00:29:31,860 Very straight and square. Hasn't even visited the closet yet. 295 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:33,940 - Did you get it? - Not a suspicion. 296 00:29:34,190 --> 00:29:37,450 I'll give you one more hint: Geneva. 297 00:29:38,780 --> 00:29:40,740 Textiles? 298 00:29:42,030 --> 00:29:43,080 Well? 299 00:29:43,330 --> 00:29:46,620 - Oh my God! - A box of poppers for the lady in the balcony! 300 00:29:46,870 --> 00:29:48,550 I know a lot of people. Why must it be him? 301 00:29:48,750 --> 00:29:51,090 - Yeah, why him? - It'll excite Misty. 302 00:29:51,340 --> 00:29:52,250 If she lives. 303 00:29:52,500 --> 00:29:54,420 How on earth are you going to pull it off? 304 00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:57,260 I'm going to plan it. That's how. 305 00:30:02,350 --> 00:30:04,100 Tanya, favorite of favorites! 306 00:30:04,350 --> 00:30:06,770 - Seymour! How lovely! - I was in the neighborhood. 307 00:30:07,810 --> 00:30:10,100 - You look well, Seymour. - I feel well, thanks. 308 00:30:10,350 --> 00:30:12,900 - How many years has it been? - Four, I think. 309 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,860 We had fun. Say we had fun! 310 00:30:16,190 --> 00:30:19,360 - We had fun. - Yes, that's true. We had fun. 311 00:30:19,820 --> 00:30:21,740 Most of what I bullshit people with, I learned from you. 312 00:30:21,990 --> 00:30:24,740 We learned from each other. Give me a kiss. 313 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:30,960 I have a matinee today. And I have a show to do this afternoon. 314 00:30:31,210 --> 00:30:33,790 - You have so much work. - So much work. 315 00:30:34,050 --> 00:30:36,880 - You look tired. - I feel tired. 316 00:30:37,210 --> 00:30:40,510 - Very tired. - Very tired. 317 00:30:42,010 --> 00:30:45,890 - Very tired. - Oh yes, very tired. 318 00:30:46,390 --> 00:30:49,640 - You need a trip. - I need a trip. 319 00:30:53,230 --> 00:30:55,190 - Need a trip. - Where? 320 00:30:57,030 --> 00:31:00,280 - Geneva. - How much? 321 00:31:00,660 --> 00:31:02,620 The instructions are in the envelope. 322 00:31:02,950 --> 00:31:05,740 If for any reason you can't take this assignment, I shall personally 323 00:31:05,990 --> 00:31:07,830 self destruct before your very eyes. 324 00:31:08,830 --> 00:31:10,790 Now find an excuse to gain entry. 325 00:31:11,500 --> 00:31:14,090 Photograph the layout of our prospective target. 326 00:31:14,340 --> 00:31:17,710 This will allow Misty to feel at home the first time she's there. 327 00:31:18,170 --> 00:31:21,470 In my opinion, they'll probably wind up on the floor. 328 00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:25,260 - Well, what do you think of my plan? - You are meshugana. 329 00:31:25,510 --> 00:31:27,390 - Grant me one thing. - What's that? 330 00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:30,350 - I'm not saying it can be done. - How dare you! 331 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,270 But I am saying if anyone can do it, we can do it. 332 00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:36,520 You are forgiven. And absolutely right. 333 00:31:37,650 --> 00:31:40,650 Now the instructions on the tape can be transmitted easily, 334 00:31:41,110 --> 00:31:43,070 and therefore can be meticulously followed. 335 00:31:43,740 --> 00:31:46,330 - What's the tape going to say, Seymour? - Do you have to order it special, 336 00:31:46,580 --> 00:31:50,330 - or do we have it in stock? - Everything here is custom-made. 337 00:31:50,710 --> 00:31:52,540 Nothing is off the rack. 338 00:31:52,790 --> 00:31:55,250 Tanya, how are you at speaking into a microphone? 339 00:31:55,500 --> 00:31:57,340 Why, you know I've made thirteen films! 340 00:31:57,670 --> 00:31:59,130 Most of them in Super-8! 341 00:31:59,380 --> 00:32:02,840 You hold this. Take down every word. It's audio-visual time. 342 00:32:03,260 --> 00:32:07,470 The bringing out of a difficult man. Sound only. Take one! 343 00:32:10,220 --> 00:32:13,520 - Give her some body contact. - Body contact. 344 00:32:13,770 --> 00:32:17,020 - Now keep after her. - I'm after you. 345 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:26,200 Find an excuse to touch him. Say Sir, there's something in your eye. 346 00:32:26,450 --> 00:32:29,160 Sir, you have something in your eye. 347 00:32:29,410 --> 00:32:32,200 Now he'll probably get uncomfortable and change his position. 348 00:32:32,460 --> 00:32:34,830 Turn that to your advantage and move in on him. 349 00:32:35,460 --> 00:32:36,920 I'm moving in on you. 350 00:32:37,170 --> 00:32:40,420 Give her a little kiss. Just a touch. 351 00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:56,310 I'm kissing you. A little harder. 352 00:33:09,030 --> 00:33:11,240 Slowly kiss it. 353 00:33:17,580 --> 00:33:19,790 Run your tongue over his nipple. 354 00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:49,700 I'm going to kiss his other nipple. 355 00:34:28,950 --> 00:34:30,910 I'm going to suck your cock. 356 00:34:33,910 --> 00:34:36,450 - Lick the side of his cock. - Lick his cock. 357 00:34:37,870 --> 00:34:41,290 Suck it like the inside of a ripe mango. 358 00:34:42,250 --> 00:34:46,300 I'm going to lick your cock like the insides of a ripe mango. 359 00:35:02,810 --> 00:35:04,770 Take two. 360 00:35:06,690 --> 00:35:08,650 Ripe mango, take two. 361 00:35:53,240 --> 00:35:55,700 I'm licking the head of your cock. 362 00:36:29,270 --> 00:36:31,240 Why not do the sequel right now? 363 00:42:23,380 --> 00:42:26,590 - He's almost here. - Agincourt in five hours. 364 00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:28,510 - Nervous? - Me? Nervous? 365 00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:30,590 Much too hysterical to be nervous. 366 00:42:36,140 --> 00:42:38,100 I... I can't do it. 367 00:42:41,190 --> 00:42:43,070 Would you mind telling us WHY you can't do it? 368 00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,150 Because I won't fool anybody, that's why! 369 00:42:45,780 --> 00:42:49,610 Never try to sell phony merchandise to someone who knows better. 370 00:42:49,990 --> 00:42:53,530 You can't cheat people at their own game. Believe me, I learned that. 371 00:42:53,780 --> 00:42:56,290 Maybe if I hadn't, then I'd have more confidence. 372 00:42:56,540 --> 00:42:59,500 On the streets, it's simpler. Everybody does their number. 373 00:43:00,170 --> 00:43:02,960 But nobody fools anybody. I'm sorry. 374 00:43:18,350 --> 00:43:21,310 I would say that the plot has taken a sudden turn. 375 00:43:21,770 --> 00:43:25,650 Hey! Who said anything about you being a phooey! You're not a phooey! 376 00:43:26,860 --> 00:43:29,950 I'm not? Want a no-frills? 377 00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:32,030 I don't believe this. 378 00:43:32,700 --> 00:43:35,950 I know that listening to tape recorded instructions isn't enough to put me over. 379 00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:39,200 That's not the right attitude. You're not going to fool anybody that way! 380 00:43:39,450 --> 00:43:43,000 - I won't fool anybody anyway! - Hey, let's go for a drive. 381 00:43:44,130 --> 00:43:49,010 Now Misty, when I met you I had my doubts- serious doubts-that you could pull this off. 382 00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:52,380 I thought I'd have a book without a last chapter. 383 00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:54,550 But you've been doing wonderfully! Beautifully! 384 00:43:55,470 --> 00:43:58,310 - I might even say 'adequate'! - Thanks. 385 00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:00,980 - No, that's a compliment. - Can you spare it? 386 00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:04,350 You know, I find myself thinking about you a lot these days. 387 00:44:05,270 --> 00:44:08,980 When this project is over, I hope it won't mean we won't see each other. 388 00:44:09,730 --> 00:44:10,650 Really? 389 00:44:10,900 --> 00:44:13,540 Look... when you come back from Geneva, let's have dinner together, 390 00:44:13,660 --> 00:44:17,950 just the two of us. Maybe we can get to know each other a little better. 391 00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:19,330 That'd be nice! 392 00:44:19,580 --> 00:44:21,040 Attention household! 393 00:44:21,290 --> 00:44:24,620 The one and only Misty Beethoven and her magic tape recorder 394 00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:30,210 are off to Geneva! Polished, preened and programmed! Yes sir! 395 00:44:37,100 --> 00:44:39,140 Excuse me. We're closing. 396 00:44:40,060 --> 00:44:43,350 Now the instructions on the tape can be transmitted easily 397 00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:47,440 and received comfortably, and they can be followed meticulously. 398 00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:51,690 - How much is this? - I'm sorry. That one's sold. 399 00:44:52,990 --> 00:44:55,160 Of course, we'll have to have Geraldine's assistance. 400 00:44:57,660 --> 00:44:59,620 She's always willing to lend a finger. 401 00:45:02,830 --> 00:45:06,710 It must be a power failure. Well, not much we can do about it. 402 00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:09,960 We might as well sit here until the lights come back on. 403 00:45:10,210 --> 00:45:12,010 It should just be a moment. 404 00:45:12,260 --> 00:45:14,170 - Now move in close. - Check. 405 00:45:14,670 --> 00:45:16,640 - What? - Nothing, nothing! 406 00:45:17,470 --> 00:45:19,430 Give her some body contact. 407 00:45:20,140 --> 00:45:21,520 Body contact. 408 00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:27,440 - Now keep after her. - I'm after you. 409 00:45:30,820 --> 00:45:32,780 Find an excuse to touch him. 410 00:45:33,150 --> 00:45:35,950 Say Sir, there's something in your eye. 411 00:45:36,240 --> 00:45:38,910 Sir! You have something in your eye! 412 00:45:39,870 --> 00:45:41,830 Sir you have something in your eye. 413 00:45:42,580 --> 00:45:45,080 - How can you tell? - I saw it there before. 414 00:45:47,250 --> 00:45:50,250 Now he'll probably get uncomfortable and change his position. 415 00:45:51,250 --> 00:45:53,090 Turn that to your advantage and move in on him. 416 00:45:54,590 --> 00:45:58,220 - What's that perfume? - New Experience. 417 00:45:59,090 --> 00:46:02,390 Give her a little kiss. Just a touch. 418 00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:12,820 And another. 419 00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:29,920 A little harder. 420 00:46:35,670 --> 00:46:38,630 I'm kissing you. 421 00:46:43,140 --> 00:46:46,220 Run your tongue over his nipple. 422 00:46:50,230 --> 00:46:53,320 I'm gonna kiss his other nipple. 423 00:47:12,460 --> 00:47:13,460 I'm gonna suck your cock. 424 00:47:16,380 --> 00:47:18,340 I'm going to suck your cock. 425 00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:25,640 Lick his cock. 426 00:47:26,010 --> 00:47:27,970 That's it. Lick the side of his cock. 427 00:47:30,730 --> 00:47:34,860 - I'm going to lick your cock... - ...like the inside of a ripe mango. 428 00:47:48,700 --> 00:47:51,210 Ripe mango, take two. 429 00:47:53,250 --> 00:47:55,710 Ripe mango, take two. 430 00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:58,420 Roll it! 431 00:51:27,380 --> 00:51:31,010 It's dynamite! Take my word for it, the girl is dynamite! 432 00:51:32,890 --> 00:51:36,760 But I cannot claim all the credit myself. 433 00:51:38,220 --> 00:51:42,850 Some of the congratulations must go to the one and only Geraldine! 434 00:51:47,070 --> 00:51:50,820 Hey, you! It's past your bedtime! 435 00:52:07,300 --> 00:52:09,260 - How's Misty Beethoven? - Fantastic. 436 00:52:09,510 --> 00:52:12,310 I heard she fucked Jean Bonden in Geneva so well that he went straight. 437 00:52:12,470 --> 00:52:14,390 His friends have asked him to see a psychiatrist! 438 00:52:14,590 --> 00:52:16,760 I don't understand it. The girl was completely unknown, 439 00:52:16,890 --> 00:52:19,640 and now she has seduced half of the unlikely men in Europe. 440 00:52:19,930 --> 00:52:22,560 She must be completely infatuated with Doctor Love. 441 00:52:23,310 --> 00:52:26,610 He's an animal! An animal! A total and complete animal! 442 00:52:27,020 --> 00:52:30,530 - Does he have to be so insulting? - That's what writing a book is! 443 00:52:31,030 --> 00:52:34,570 Listen, I know him. He hit it big when he was very young. 444 00:52:34,820 --> 00:52:37,410 And he's starting to think it doesn't have the same impact. 445 00:52:37,660 --> 00:52:40,410 And pulling this off is very important to him. 446 00:52:40,660 --> 00:52:42,500 It doesn't matter. There's no excuse. 447 00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,580 There's a way of doing things. He's always ridiculing me! 448 00:52:45,830 --> 00:52:49,050 And the minute I'm not doing a number, I don't even exist. 449 00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:53,220 You know he's never once looked into my eyes? 450 00:52:53,720 --> 00:52:57,010 I heard him say one day that if you looked into a woman's left eye 451 00:52:57,260 --> 00:52:59,180 you could see right into her cunt. 452 00:53:00,220 --> 00:53:03,810 You know he's never looked into MY left eye. He's never looked into ANY eye! 453 00:53:05,100 --> 00:53:10,150 He has to be the coldest, most insensitive son-of-a-bitch I've ever run into. 454 00:53:11,070 --> 00:53:12,860 And I used to see a lot on the streets. 455 00:53:13,110 --> 00:53:16,320 I'll bet if Doctor Love were here right now, he'd choke you to death. 456 00:53:16,610 --> 00:53:20,120 Well, if he wants to choke me to death he'll never get a better opportunity. 457 00:53:20,910 --> 00:53:23,160 Your sensitive touch is unmistakable. 458 00:53:23,750 --> 00:53:27,420 Reminds one of a fucking hippopotamus trying to play the piano. 459 00:53:29,250 --> 00:53:31,250 Thanks for the workout! I'll be champ yet! 460 00:55:50,890 --> 00:55:53,310 - Geraldine! - That deserves a Masters any day! 461 00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:56,110 - Right on, headmistress! - Your move, Dean of Women! 462 00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:58,280 On to the doctorate! 463 00:56:45,030 --> 00:56:47,620 Hello? House of Love. No, he's not. 464 00:56:47,950 --> 00:56:50,700 They're all at Cinetta Studios on the stage where Lawrence Layman's 465 00:56:50,950 --> 00:56:53,330 production is having its end of shooting party. 466 00:56:53,580 --> 00:56:57,500 Yes, they should be back by morning. No, they didn't say which morning. 467 00:57:03,050 --> 00:57:05,640 I have a premonition. Want to hear? 468 00:57:05,930 --> 00:57:09,140 After your success with Layman, we're gonna have dinner. The two of us. 469 00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:17,100 Here we go! 470 00:57:40,670 --> 00:57:42,800 Go on. Straight up to him! 471 00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:11,700 Tell Lawrence Layman that Misty Beethoven wants his quote fucking ass down here right away unquote. 472 00:58:11,950 --> 00:58:13,870 Okay. 473 00:59:42,170 --> 00:59:44,130 The furniture arrives on Thursday. 474 00:59:45,750 --> 00:59:47,710 I'm very pleased you could make it. 475 00:59:48,630 --> 00:59:50,590 I wouldn't have missed this for anything. 476 01:00:04,860 --> 01:00:07,570 Misty, Barbara. Barbara, Misty. 477 01:00:08,030 --> 01:00:09,570 - Good evening. - Good evening. 478 01:00:14,620 --> 01:00:17,160 I'm gonna get your old man off. Does that bother you? 479 01:00:25,130 --> 01:00:28,460 You don't think I'm going to let him make that perilous journey alone? 480 01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:41,100 ♪ Trailin' my bags behind me. Smokin' my last cigar. 481 01:00:41,810 --> 01:00:48,980 ♪ I wish I had her beside me. I wish I was in my car. 482 01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:57,950 ♪ Forty-nine crimes behind me. Fifty or more ahead. 483 01:00:58,200 --> 01:01:05,120 ♪ I said I'm lookin' for somethin' exciting. I'll be looking until I'm dead. 484 01:01:07,210 --> 01:01:11,050 ♪ You wanna love me and I wanna love you. 485 01:01:14,680 --> 01:01:18,720 ♪ You wanna love me and I wanna love you. 486 01:01:19,810 --> 01:01:21,770 ♪ Yes I do. 487 01:01:26,850 --> 01:01:33,110 ♪ Listening out for sirens. The wider the law patrolled. 488 01:01:33,740 --> 01:01:41,740 ♪ Said my burden of fear is lightened when the siren's refrain becomes old. 489 01:02:54,230 --> 01:02:57,240 ♪ I'm thinkin' of you every minute. 490 01:02:58,070 --> 01:03:01,200 ♪ You always are on my mind. 491 01:03:02,120 --> 01:03:05,580 ♪ The road is endless horizon. 492 01:03:06,790 --> 01:03:09,750 ♪ I'm so tired. 493 01:03:10,620 --> 01:03:13,340 ♪ Road is so dusty and dirty! 494 01:03:14,170 --> 01:03:17,260 ♪ My throat is so dry. 495 01:03:18,130 --> 01:03:21,050 ♪ This feeling for you is hurting me. 496 01:03:22,050 --> 01:03:25,760 ♪ I don't know why. 497 01:03:58,670 --> 01:04:04,970 ♪ Trailing my bags behind me. Smoking my last cigar. 498 01:04:05,510 --> 01:04:12,560 ♪ I said I wish I had her beside me. I wish I was in my car. 499 01:04:49,600 --> 01:04:55,980 ♪ Trailin' my bags behind me. Smokin' my last cigar. 500 01:04:56,810 --> 01:05:03,150 ♪ I wish I had her beside me. I wish I was in my car. 501 01:05:06,240 --> 01:05:12,450 ♪ Forty-nine crimes behind me. Fifty or more ahead. 502 01:05:13,290 --> 01:05:19,920 ♪ I said I'm looking for something exciting. I'll be looking until I'm dead. 503 01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:26,050 ♪ You wanna love me and I wanna love you. 504 01:05:29,720 --> 01:05:33,560 ♪ You wanna love me and I wanna love you. 505 01:05:34,730 --> 01:05:36,690 ♪ Yes I do... 506 01:05:41,940 --> 01:05:44,610 ♪ Listening out for sirens. 507 01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:48,160 ♪ The wider the law patrols. 508 01:05:48,700 --> 01:05:52,160 ♪ I said my burden of fear is lightened 509 01:05:52,450 --> 01:05:56,790 ♪ when the siren's refrain becomes old... 510 01:08:51,300 --> 01:08:55,340 Thanks for the wonderful evening, Doctor. You really throw a hell of a party. 511 01:09:19,580 --> 01:09:23,160 Say hello to the erotic Diaghilev. The Svengali of Sex. 512 01:09:23,910 --> 01:09:27,210 Why, when I first met that girl, she took me to a place where you had to 513 01:09:27,420 --> 01:09:30,170 pay extra for the private rats running around the room. 514 01:09:31,300 --> 01:09:34,050 Sometimes, the idiot refused to do what I told her. 515 01:09:34,300 --> 01:09:35,430 About this party tonight. 516 01:09:35,680 --> 01:09:38,680 The cunt on many an afternoon said she wouldn't come. 517 01:09:39,300 --> 01:09:40,890 What did you do about it? 518 01:09:41,140 --> 01:09:45,600 Well, I gave her a kick in the ass and told the cunt she had to absolutely do it for me. 519 01:09:47,730 --> 01:09:53,240 This approach is particularly successful when you ask them to dinner at the same time. 520 01:09:53,900 --> 01:09:55,860 Something quiet and intimate. 521 01:09:56,780 --> 01:09:59,450 That is absolutely essential. 522 01:10:00,240 --> 01:10:05,160 When all else fails, you beat the shit out of them while at the same time 523 01:10:05,410 --> 01:10:07,290 telling them that you love them. 524 01:10:08,250 --> 01:10:10,500 All hail the Goldenrod Girl. 525 01:10:11,040 --> 01:10:12,410 You weren't supposed to hear that! 526 01:10:13,340 --> 01:10:16,220 I want to take this opportunity of thanking you for everything. 527 01:10:16,930 --> 01:10:20,720 I've learned a lot. Lawrence Layman will pick up my things. 528 01:10:21,430 --> 01:10:24,850 Hey! Hey, where are you going? You can't leave now! 529 01:10:25,350 --> 01:10:27,310 Stay! You can have Caesar! 530 01:10:29,100 --> 01:10:32,230 Why would I want Caesar? I already have Napoleon. 531 01:11:02,890 --> 01:11:05,770 Misty Beethoven made quite a hit at Lawrence Layman's party. 532 01:11:06,020 --> 01:11:08,140 Really? I always thought she was the best. 533 01:11:08,390 --> 01:11:10,560 - Me too. - Where's Seymour Love? 534 01:11:10,810 --> 01:11:14,360 Going back to New York with his tail between Lawrence Layman's legs. 535 01:12:40,360 --> 01:12:42,490 Would anyone like to fuck a stewardess? 536 01:12:45,620 --> 01:12:47,580 Duty-free ends in twenty minutes. 537 01:12:48,740 --> 01:12:50,700 - Are we landing soon? - Yes we are. 538 01:13:05,180 --> 01:13:07,140 Why did she do that? 539 01:13:07,430 --> 01:13:11,180 She takes the cigars I buy in Jamaica and smuggles them past the U.S. Customs. 540 01:13:14,310 --> 01:13:18,110 But it's not illegal to import Jamaican cigars into the States. 541 01:13:56,600 --> 01:13:58,520 Let's start the book next week. 542 01:14:29,090 --> 01:14:31,050 Never thought she'd end up with Layman. 543 01:14:32,220 --> 01:14:34,180 Funny how things work out. 544 01:14:39,940 --> 01:14:41,900 Wonder how they're getting along. 545 01:14:46,490 --> 01:14:48,450 How late is it in Rome? 546 01:14:49,820 --> 01:14:51,780 It's too late, Seymour. 547 01:15:52,300 --> 01:15:54,260 Enjoy the movie, Seymour. 548 01:16:20,660 --> 01:16:22,790 Still, she never did get it down right! 549 01:16:24,960 --> 01:16:27,050 She was too stupid. 550 01:16:29,170 --> 01:16:32,340 I could have worked a hundred years, she never would have absorbed it all. 551 01:16:35,220 --> 01:16:38,310 She was the most unexciting thing God ever created. 552 01:16:41,180 --> 01:16:43,230 The absolute nadir of passion. 553 01:16:44,150 --> 01:16:46,230 A sexual civil service worker. 554 01:16:49,190 --> 01:16:51,150 Fuck you, Seymour! 555 01:16:51,400 --> 01:16:54,320 Sweetheart, look! I am prepared to accept once in a while 556 01:16:54,610 --> 01:16:58,120 that as the erotic impulse seeps through the water table of sexual custom 557 01:16:58,370 --> 01:17:00,830 that the purification process might lead to a certain... 558 01:17:01,080 --> 01:17:03,750 Seymour! Do you know why most people have sexual problems? 559 01:17:04,080 --> 01:17:06,040 They talk too goddamn much! 560 01:23:09,030 --> 01:23:11,450 - I hear there's a new girl on the scene! - She's fantastic! 561 01:23:11,700 --> 01:23:14,370 It says here that she's making a play for Lawrence Layman. 562 01:23:14,620 --> 01:23:17,500 - Who was his last girlfriend? - Who was the last Goldenrod Girl? 563 01:23:17,750 --> 01:23:19,580 - Misty... Mozart. - Was that her name? 564 01:23:19,960 --> 01:23:21,720 Of course! Who could forget a name like that? 565 01:23:21,790 --> 01:23:24,340 Nobody knows where she is. She was Seymour Love's friend. 566 01:23:24,590 --> 01:23:27,300 They were very close. They always went everywhere together. 567 01:23:27,550 --> 01:23:30,930 Now nobody knows where she is. Last I heard, she was writing a book. 568 01:23:41,810 --> 01:23:43,770 Remember what Hyman Mandell said. 569 01:23:44,270 --> 01:23:47,740 Just because they do it wrong doesn't mean that you can't do it right. 570 01:23:48,320 --> 01:23:51,780 And one and two, and one and two... 571 01:23:52,110 --> 01:23:55,870 One and two, one and two... 572 01:24:15,510 --> 01:24:17,470 One and two... 572 01:24:18,305 --> 01:25:18,916 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm