"Leanne" Please Be a Lizard

1 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,929 [upbeat theme music playing] 2 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:20,603 [pop music playing] 3 00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:22,105 Hey, Leanne. 4 00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:24,524 Hey, Mary. Did you fall out of a tree? 5 00:00:24,607 --> 00:00:26,276 Oh. [laughs] 6 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:27,694 So who's the guy? 7 00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:28,695 What guy? 8 00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:31,072 Tall, dark, and federal? Hm? 9 00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:32,407 Are you spying on me? 10 00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:36,161 I can't help it if your front porch lines up with my ring cam. 11 00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:37,662 Actually, you can. 12 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,456 Come on, spill. 13 00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:42,417 His name is Andrew. 14 00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:46,504 He's got a perfectly symmetrical face, and that's all you need to know. 15 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,131 Awfully quick, isn't it? 16 00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:50,550 I mean, is the ink even dry on your divorce papers? 17 00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:53,011 [scoffs] You make it sound like I'm out there catting around. 18 00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:56,139 -I'm just worried about how it looks. -How it looks? 19 00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:58,767 My husband got another woman pregnant. 20 00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:02,353 A man buying me a tomahawk steak doesn't feel scandalous. 21 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,105 Is that steak a bone in? 22 00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:05,482 Mary! 23 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:10,695 ♪ Leanne ♪ 24 00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:18,369 ♪ Secret agent man Secret agent man ♪ 25 00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:23,750 ♪ I don't know the rest of the words But I know I'm dating one ♪ 26 00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:27,712 Hey. 27 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:29,589 You're just waking up? 28 00:01:29,672 --> 00:01:33,885 No. I showered, put on makeup, remembered my life, and went back to this. 29 00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:38,973 Oh, Carol, you can't keep moping around waiting for Dylan to reappear. 30 00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:41,476 I can, I will, and you're gonna watch it. 31 00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:46,523 Come jogging with me next time and let's rev up those endorphins! 32 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:47,482 Quit it! 33 00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:50,652 Sorry, it's not you. Just tone down the perk. 34 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,655 We're like a seesaw. 35 00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:55,949 My life's finally going up, 36 00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:58,118 and your fanny's down in the mud. 37 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:02,372 Yup, things have returned to their original factory settings. 38 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:08,628 If my dating Andrew's upsetting you, just say the word, and I'll stop. 39 00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:10,547 No, I wouldn't ask that of you. 40 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:11,798 Oh, thank goodness. 41 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:17,137 Because I would climb over your sad body to get to that man. 42 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,974 You'll have to live for both of us now. 43 00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:23,101 I will. I won't let you down 44 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,436 'cause I'm one smitten kitten. 45 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:28,940 One over-the-moon raccoon. 46 00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:31,818 -One-- -Again, the perk. 47 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:36,156 Right. I'm gonna hop in the shower. I've got an appointment with Dr. Marshall. 48 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:38,366 Ooh, checking on your lady business. 49 00:02:38,449 --> 00:02:41,369 Making sure the cobwebs are cleared before you show the house. 50 00:02:44,747 --> 00:02:47,417 Carol, this is strictly routine maintenance. 51 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,252 Whatever keeps her purring. 52 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:55,091 Dr. Marshall still have that hateful nurse who shouts your weight for all to hear? 53 00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:57,719 I forgot about that witch. 54 00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:01,598 I've got to go run another mile. 55 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:05,810 [bumper music playing] 56 00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:08,563 Nurse Meghan wouldn't let me take my shoes off. 57 00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:11,774 Maybe shave a couple of pounds off that number. 58 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,652 Leanne, your weight is fine for a woman your age. 59 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,696 That's mean on two levels. 60 00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:21,701 Relax, just schedule your mammogram, keep doing what you're doing, 61 00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:23,745 and I won't need to see you for another year. 62 00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:25,830 Um… 63 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,415 What if, 64 00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:29,918 during that time, 65 00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,545 I start doing… 66 00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,305 something different? 67 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,184 Like? 68 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:48,978 You know what? Never mind. 69 00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:55,026 This is not a room for secrets. That's across the hall at couples therapy. 70 00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:58,696 I'm dating a man 71 00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:01,366 that's not Bill. 72 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,744 But I'm very attracted to him 73 00:04:05,703 --> 00:04:07,288 because it's not Bill. 74 00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:11,542 Okay, so, 75 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,003 has it become intimate? 76 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:18,424 Well, we have talked about where we were born. 77 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,427 First concerts. 78 00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:24,055 We're both allergic to bees, 79 00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:26,683 but we're very aware of how important they are. 80 00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,645 I meant, are you sexually active? 81 00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:33,982 No! We haven't even kissed. 82 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:37,610 But if it continues to go like it is, 83 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,779 down the road, 84 00:04:39,862 --> 00:04:41,572 like, miles and miles away… 85 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,994 -Could be years, even. -Okay, what are you trying to say? 86 00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:49,038 I just don't want to tee-tee every time he makes me laugh. 87 00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:54,794 Oh, okay, so we're having pelvic floor issues. 88 00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:56,546 You're having them too? 89 00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:02,885 Okay, it's very common, especially for a woman your age. 90 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,138 You need to retire that sentence. 91 00:05:07,056 --> 00:05:10,268 I'll get you a few pamphlets with some great exercises. 92 00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:12,478 Do I need to buy any special equipment? 93 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:15,815 No. I'll do one for you if you like. 94 00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:16,774 Okay. 95 00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:23,489 Get after it. 96 00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:25,616 Oh. I am. 97 00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:27,910 I'm doing them right now. 98 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:32,623 Still? 99 00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:34,834 I just banged out a dozen. 100 00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:40,882 You could do them anywhere, anytime, and no one would ever know. 101 00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:42,592 Just like saying your prayers. 102 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:45,762 Okay, I'm in. 103 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:46,763 Hey… 104 00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:49,182 I'm happy for you, Leanne. 105 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,024 I'm weighing myself again. 106 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,943 [bumper music playing] 107 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:01,986 Thanks. 108 00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:08,701 Now, see, Leanne's man goes out of town for a few days, he sends her flowers. 109 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:12,497 Mine disappears, and I get a big bouquet of "suck it, loser." 110 00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:15,750 Forget the flowers. I need your help. 111 00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:20,213 Okay, are we, like, putting together Ikea furniture or burying a dead body? 112 00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:22,048 The guy I was seeing broke up with me. 113 00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:23,800 Got it. I'll get the shovel. 114 00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:26,511 -No, he thinks I have a problem. -With what? 115 00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:28,054 Everything in this box. 116 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,515 Please be a lizard. 117 00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,350 This is serious. 118 00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:35,353 You need to hold on to these things so I can prove to him I don't need them. 119 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,856 -Can I take a peek? -Sure. They mean nothing to me. 120 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,274 But don't get rid of them. 121 00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:41,651 All right, let's see. 122 00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:43,945 We got a vape pen, tin of gummies. 123 00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:47,824 Some pills prescribed to someone named Agnes Blutarski? 124 00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,075 I found them on a bus. 125 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:52,412 And a couple baby tequilas. 126 00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,497 Cute, right? But don't drink them. 127 00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:57,041 One is clean pee, and I don't know which. 128 00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:01,796 [bumper music playing] 129 00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:07,552 [Nurse Meghan] Oh, Leanne. 130 00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:10,555 Dr. Marshall wants you to try out some of these personal lubricants. 131 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:13,724 Thank you, Meghan. 132 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,102 We're ready for you, Faye. 133 00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:19,021 Hi, Leanne. 134 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,273 Oh, Lord. 135 00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:22,400 -I'm Bill's-- -I know. 136 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:25,570 I was just taking a minute to realize this is actually happening. 137 00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:27,864 Yeah, of all the gin joints. [chuckles] 138 00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:33,035 -Sorry, this isn't funny. -No, it's not. 139 00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:34,620 [Faye] Mm… 140 00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:40,501 This is a lot to ask, 141 00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:43,796 but I'd really love for us to talk at some point. 142 00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:45,923 Maybe grab a coffee? 143 00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:48,134 I don't think so. 144 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,474 What do I owe for today? 145 00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:55,892 You're all set. 146 00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:59,061 [Nurse Meghan] Okay, Faye, 142! 147 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,230 [Faye] I didn't get to take my shoes off! 148 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,192 [bumper music playing] 149 00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:07,945 [Leanne groans] "Grab a cup of coffee." 150 00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:10,490 I'll grab you by the throat, sister. 151 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:14,494 Oh, really? You want to be friends? 152 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:15,828 You want to talk? 153 00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:17,246 Never! 154 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:22,710 Let me guess, we're all gonna be one big, happy family like The Brady Bunch. 155 00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:26,714 What's that? Oh, you're too young for that reference? 156 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,967 It was a TV show with David Cassidy. 157 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:33,429 No, wait. That's the one with the bus. 158 00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:37,934 Doesn't matter. It's not happening! 159 00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:41,771 [bumper music playing] 160 00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:46,776 She invades my life. She invades my family. 161 00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,277 She invades my marriage. 162 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:51,781 And now she thinks she's gonna invade my gynecologist? I don't think so! 163 00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:56,410 What on earth is going on down there? 164 00:08:58,829 --> 00:08:59,997 Never mind. 165 00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:03,125 Andrew sent you flowers. That ought to make you happy. 166 00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,377 Very sweet! 167 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:09,423 I'll appreciate those later. Right now, I want to be mad at Faye. 168 00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:12,301 Why don't you just meet with her and give her a piece of your mind. 169 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,929 No! I don't want her to have any more pieces of me. 170 00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:16,264 Okay. 171 00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:19,392 -What's the point of us having coffee? -There isn't any. 172 00:09:19,475 --> 00:09:22,186 It'd be just for me to tell her how she's destroyed my family, 173 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,939 and whatever she says or does, nothing's gonna fix that. 174 00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:29,443 Right. She doesn't deserve to hear that. You deserve to hold it all inside. 175 00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:34,031 And let it poison me? I don't think so, Carol. 176 00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:36,284 I was doing reverse psychology to lead you-- 177 00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:38,286 I'll tell you what I'm gonna do! 178 00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:41,539 I'm gonna meet this woman head-on. 179 00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:45,167 She thinks she can do these land grabs? Well, guess what? 180 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,545 The tanks are turning around. 181 00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:50,381 I wasn't raised by a war veteran for nothing. 182 00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:55,845 And by the way, I've been doing pelvic floor exercises this whole time. 183 00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:03,936 I'm doing a big'un right now. 184 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:10,693 [bumper music playing] 185 00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:20,036 You have no idea what's about to hit you. 186 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,919 [bumper music playing] 187 00:10:31,922 --> 00:10:32,965 Watermelon. 188 00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:36,385 Maybe there is something to live for. 189 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:40,598 -Oh, hey. -Oh, look. 190 00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:44,226 It's the only person whose life is a bigger turd festival than mine. 191 00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:46,896 Still no sign of "Dylan"? 192 00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:49,482 No. What do you want? 193 00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:53,235 I promised Leanne I'd clear my stuff from the garage. Is she home? 194 00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,780 She's not home. Ask me where she is. 195 00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:59,158 -Why would I ask you that? -Because I want to tell you. 196 00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:05,039 Okay, one double cappuccino with extra foam, 197 00:11:05,122 --> 00:11:08,167 and an herbal tea with lemon on the side. 198 00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:10,211 We ready to order? 199 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:16,509 Okay. 200 00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:22,264 Thank you for meeting me. 201 00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:25,226 I don't think you'll be thanking me when I'm done. 202 00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:28,521 I've got a whole thing, but you go first. 203 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,400 I want you to know I'm not a home-wrecker. 204 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:33,776 Okay, my turn. 205 00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:36,946 No. 206 00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:42,410 No, no, I mean, technically, yes, I am, but I never did this. 207 00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:44,912 I'm not somebody who goes after married men. 208 00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:46,831 Oh, lucky me. 209 00:11:46,914 --> 00:11:48,833 You nailed it on your first try. 210 00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:52,378 How did you two even meet? 211 00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:55,756 He came to my office for an emergency root canal. 212 00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,719 You're Happy Family Dentistry? 213 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,097 I see the irony. 214 00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:09,311 I'm the one that sent him to you. 215 00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:11,981 The ad says, "Your family is my family." 216 00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:17,236 I took it the wholesome way. 217 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:20,322 It started like that. 218 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,700 Friendly. Just your basic chitchat. 219 00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:25,870 But a root canal takes a few visits, 220 00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:30,082 and each time we just grew closer until, 221 00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:33,627 you know, it crossed that line. 222 00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:37,923 Good Lord, what do you do with your patients who get veneers? 223 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,304 It snuck up on me. 224 00:12:43,387 --> 00:12:46,807 I swear, I'm usually very professional. 225 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:49,393 And I always thought Bill was very married. 226 00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:54,732 I know you want to scream at me 227 00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:57,693 and tell me I'm awful and how I ruined your life. 228 00:12:58,319 --> 00:13:00,780 Go on, punch me in the mouth. I can fix it later. 229 00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:04,784 So, what are we thinking? Breakfast? 230 00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,536 Lunch? 231 00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:09,789 Okay. 232 00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:14,502 [bumper music playing] 233 00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:20,800 Relax, there's no way they're talking about you. 234 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:22,760 Really? 235 00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:25,554 Of course they're talking about you, you idiot. 236 00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,849 I should just ride this into the ocean and swim to Cuba. 237 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:29,767 [Carol] Mm. 238 00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:33,020 Well, if you see Dylan there, tell him his leaving was no bueno, 239 00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:34,605 but he's still mi amor. 240 00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:38,484 I'm gonna need five more of these. 241 00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:39,610 [Carol] Mm. 242 00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:42,863 Or you could just pop one of these suckers. 243 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,574 Is that what I think it is? 244 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:49,703 It must be, because you just became fascinating. 245 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,085 What the hell? [chuckles] 246 00:13:56,794 --> 00:14:00,089 Anyone ever tell you your face looks like it should be on a coin? 247 00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:07,638 Syrup? 248 00:14:08,138 --> 00:14:09,098 Thank you. 249 00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:13,102 Just to be clear, we're not bonding. 250 00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:14,061 Right. 251 00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:16,939 A woman's gotta eat. 252 00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:21,777 -Yup. -And you're eating for two. 253 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,279 [sobs] 254 00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:27,199 Oh, no. You don't get to do that with me. 255 00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,367 I'm sorry. 256 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,452 It's been happening a lot lately. 257 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,830 I don't want to hear about it. Call your mama. 258 00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:36,250 She died when I was ten. 259 00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:38,836 Why? 260 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:46,844 If you need a hug, we can call the waitress to come over. 261 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:50,973 I'm fine. It's just… 262 00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:56,770 I know the only reason Bill's sticking by me is because of the baby. 263 00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:58,856 As a man should. 264 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,444 But he really wants to be with you. 265 00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:06,822 Well, I get a vote on that one. 266 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,575 And I've moved on. He's all yours. 267 00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:11,869 Really? 268 00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:13,245 Yes, really. 269 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:19,376 I don't like how we got here, but I'm okay with where I'm going. 270 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,131 I do love him. 271 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:29,219 And I never thought I'd have a baby, so I'm pretty excited about that too. 272 00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:35,184 Believe it or not, I'd rather hear that than "this was all for nothing." 273 00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:43,734 I feel, under different circumstances, you and I would have been friends. 274 00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:46,820 Maybe not friends, but… 275 00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:50,115 you might have been my dentist. 276 00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:53,827 [bumper music playing] 277 00:15:55,000 --> 00:16:01,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 278 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,926 There's a very good chance I peaked in high school. 279 00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,513 Well, whenever it was, it ain't now. 280 00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:16,684 Leanne was the one. I chased her forever. 281 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:20,229 [chuckling] Mm, you sure did. Even when Daddy turned the hose on you. 282 00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:22,940 She could have had anyone. 283 00:16:23,023 --> 00:16:25,067 I knew it. I know it. 284 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,944 She was out of your league. 285 00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:28,320 Yes, she was. 286 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,197 She still is. 287 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:31,907 I'm never dating again. 288 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,493 Dylan set the bar way too high. 289 00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:37,371 A plumber wanted by the FBI. 290 00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:40,708 True, you can't top that. 291 00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:44,586 Well, at least it brought Andrew into Leanne's life. 292 00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:48,799 Andrew? Is that his name? 293 00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:51,635 [imitating Andrew] "My name's Andrew. You're under arrest." 294 00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:56,390 He doesn't sound like that. He's super hot. 295 00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:57,516 I know. 296 00:16:57,599 --> 00:17:00,769 I saw them on the porch with his stupid thick hair. 297 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:06,150 You know, if you care about Leanne, why don't you try being happy for her 298 00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:09,319 instead of moping around all day thinking only about yourself? 299 00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,281 Oh, wait, Carol, that's you. 300 00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:15,868 I'm hungry. 301 00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:20,122 Want to bust into my survival gear and eat some powdered ham? 302 00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:25,335 When did you get all those doomsday supplies? 303 00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:26,754 I don't remember. 304 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:30,090 Mad cow, a little fella from North Korea, 305 00:17:30,966 --> 00:17:32,092 Joker 2. 306 00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:38,265 One of those got in my skull and I loaded up. 307 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:40,768 You know what, brother? 308 00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:43,937 That's right, you're still my brother. 309 00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:46,982 You're not a loser, and neither am I. 310 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,276 This is life. It's messy. 311 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:52,905 It's a garage full of crazy, weird stuff you got when you were scared 312 00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:54,531 and now you're kind of stuck with. 313 00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:58,619 Oh my God, you're right. 314 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:00,621 I am, aren't I? 315 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:03,916 So, what do you say? 316 00:18:03,999 --> 00:18:06,794 You want to put on some Black Sabbath, snort a line of ham? 317 00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:10,756 [bumper music playing] 318 00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:14,176 Well, I guess we can now say we did this. 319 00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:15,427 We did. 320 00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:16,929 Are you okay if I tell Bill? 321 00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:18,472 Absolutely. 322 00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:22,101 And you get bonus points if you take a picture of his face while you do it. 323 00:18:24,728 --> 00:18:26,396 It was nice to meet you, Leanne. 324 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,065 Take care of yourself. 325 00:18:31,026 --> 00:18:34,154 For what it's worth, there's no way you're 142 pounds. 326 00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:35,447 Thank you! 327 00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:38,367 I swear, that evil nurse puts her foot on the scale. 328 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:39,409 [Faye] Right? 329 00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:42,287 Then she announces it like you're weighing in for a prize fight. 330 00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,664 [laughing] 331 00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:45,332 Again, we're not bonding. 332 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:49,378 [bumper music playing] 333 00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,906 [bumper music playing] 334 00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:39,970 No. No. 335 00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:43,599 Dad, no! 336 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:51,440 [bumper music playing] 337 00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:56,195 Don't you already feel those endorphins kicking in? 338 00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:58,447 All I can feel is blood in my sock. 339 00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:01,992 Thanks for coming with me. 340 00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:05,078 No problem. So when does Andrew get back? 341 00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:06,455 Tonight. 342 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,916 I can't believe how much I already miss him. 343 00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:11,376 Sorry, less perk, I know. 344 00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,337 No, it's fine. Perk away. 345 00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:19,801 What's happening over there? 346 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,554 I'm doing my pelvic exercises. 347 00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:24,431 You have to look at me when you're doing them? 348 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:26,850 Oh, come on. You can do them with me. 349 00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:28,685 Fine. 350 00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:29,770 [clears throat] 351 00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:40,781 Our relationship might be getting a little codependent. 352 00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:49,831 What on earth are they doing? 353 00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:55,212 [end bumper music playing] 354 00:20:56,838 --> 00:20:59,675 [closing theme music playing] 355 00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:06,098 ♪ Leanne ♪ 356 00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:28,787 ♪ Leanne ♪ 357 00:21:29,305 --> 00:22:29,469 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org