"Leanne" The Queen's Dilemma

1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 2 00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:26,860 "Buy four cans of Crisco, get one free." 3 00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:29,904 Harold Roundtree died. 4 00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,823 Maybe he ate too much Crisco. 5 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:36,745 I put Crisco on your pacifier, and you never complained. 6 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,873 Explains so much. 7 00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:44,627 - They don't know what's in margarine. - Harold was a shop teacher. 8 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,713 They even have shop class anymore? 9 00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:50,169 - Irish butter is my favorite. - Probably giving the money to the guy. 10 00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:52,802 Make sure there's a boy on the girls' track team. 11 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:56,431 As long as it's salted, and I do love Irish dancing. 12 00:01:00,977 --> 00:01:03,146 Once again, there was no hot water for me. 13 00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:05,565 I had to tinkle just to warm myself up. 14 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,360 You know who ain't worried about hot water? 15 00:01:10,361 --> 00:01:12,697 Harold Roundtree, 'cause he's dead. 16 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:17,160 The Irish also make good soap. 17 00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:19,412 Don't even try. 18 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:28,505 Sure, let the one that looks like this get it. 19 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:32,926 Morning! 20 00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:35,053 It's already too much, Mary. 21 00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:37,597 Guess who's rebooting her book club? 22 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,016 And I expect to see you and Carol. 23 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,310 Here are your books and your invite, 24 00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:45,396 which has all the details and a little surprise. 25 00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:48,316 The Queen's Dilemma. 26 00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:52,570 She falls in love with a fella who winds all the clocks at Buckingham Palace. 27 00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:54,983 This really isn't a good time. 28 00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:58,993 I will not take no for an answer. Bring a hot take and a cold dip. Toodles. 29 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:04,624 - The Queen's Dilemma? - Died of a short illness. 30 00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:08,253 - Well, that could be anything. - Dilemma was she treated Irish like dogs. 31 00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:11,005 Flesh-eating bacteria, you'd never see that one coming. 32 00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:14,717 I really wish that Daniel Day-Lewis hadn't retired. 33 00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:18,513 You're crazy if you think I'm going to Mary's book party. 34 00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:22,058 Come on, that poor little thing's trying to start up her social life again. 35 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,852 Why does that have to include me? 36 00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:26,271 Because I have to go, and you live here for free. 37 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,399 - I'm busy. - Doing what? 38 00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,442 Polishing my letter to Dylan. 39 00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:34,529 You've been working on that thing for a week. How about this? 40 00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:37,574 "You're a criminal. Goodbye forever, you ding-dong." 41 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,661 - Now read. - Pfft! 42 00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:46,124 If this book were any good, the guy on the cover would have a bigger clock. 43 00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:51,129 Be nice. She's excited. And she's made an invitation. 44 00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:52,755 Ooh! 45 00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,263 It's still too much, Mary. 46 00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:19,199 Is it just me or is Nigel gay? 47 00:03:20,408 --> 00:03:23,870 - How far along are you? - . About halfway. You? 48 00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:27,040 Been dozing on the same page for the last hour. 49 00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:29,459 This book is like shotgunning a bottle of NyQuil. 50 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:35,173 I downloaded the Audible version and jacked it up to three times the speed. 51 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:37,634 Nigel woke with a start as the clock struck midnight. 52 00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,302 His brow beat... 53 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:41,346 That's cheating. 54 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,848 Whatever you say, Chapter One. 55 00:03:45,683 --> 00:03:48,811 Don't spoil it for me, I wanna work my way into Nigel's gayness. 56 00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:52,190 So does Rupert. 57 00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:56,527 There's something wrong with your TV. 58 00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:58,655 The message said, "Are you sure?" 59 00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:01,532 I pushed yes, and now it's nothing but cartoons. 60 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,953 Carol, help Daddy with the TV. 61 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,036 I'm reading. 62 00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:08,998 I've already put lotion on Mama's back. 63 00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:12,377 I'll just watch it in here. 64 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,422 …As German troops advanced on Norway. 65 00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:18,216 Damn Germans. 66 00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:23,805 It's my recurring nightmare all over again. 67 00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:26,391 Taking a test on a book that I didn't read. 68 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:28,601 At least I'm not naked. 69 00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,645 Why couldn't Mary start a fight club? 70 00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:32,981 Add your naked thing to it, now that's a party. 71 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:35,692 Welcome. Welcome. 72 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,819 Shoes off. Come on in. 73 00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:42,699 She thinks my feet are cleaner than my shoes. She's wrong. 74 00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:47,245 All right, we're all here. 75 00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:49,580 Leanne, Carol, you know everyone. 76 00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:50,832 - Hi! - Hey. 77 00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:54,627 Tell me you wouldn't want to punch every one of these women naked. 78 00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:59,674 My goodness, Becca, did you make that? 79 00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:03,136 I just threw it together. I love a simple charcuterie board. 80 00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:05,930 It's like painting a picture with salami and cheese. 81 00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:08,891 - Well, I'm hitting it. - Wait! 82 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,268 Camera eats first. 83 00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:16,107 Hashtag "Mary's book club," hashtag "Becca of Knoxville," 84 00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:18,735 hashtag "cornichons are not pickles." 85 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,863 Hashtag "can I dig in now?" 86 00:05:21,946 --> 00:05:23,698 Yes, but the grapes are fake. 87 00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:28,161 Hi, Hillary, how are you? 88 00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:29,954 Well, does she have a fever? 89 00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:33,333 No, you don't have to guess. There's a thermometer in the drawer. 90 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,877 Anything above 98. 91 00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,254 Sorry about that. 92 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,006 Tommy's at home with the kids, 93 00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:42,717 which means no one's at home with the kids. 94 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:48,431 - How many precious babies do you have now? - Well, the twins make it five. 95 00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:51,559 And the flu's just ripping its way through all of them. 96 00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:53,770 It's why my face looks like a catcher's mitt. 97 00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,396 Hillary, stop. 98 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,982 We are here to focus on Hillary. 99 00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,109 That's me! 100 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,861 I've got the perfect face serum for you. 101 00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:05,239 Bethany Frankel swears by it, and I swear by everything she swears by. 102 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:09,452 You have to avoid sunlight for a month, but worth it. 103 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:14,791 Okay, ladies, take a seat. Time to get this literary train a-rolling. 104 00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:16,167 Choo-choo! 105 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:19,545 Leanne, you ready to tear into this book? 106 00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:21,172 You betcha. 107 00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:25,927 I mean, the symbolism, the imagery, not to mention the religious undertones. 108 00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:27,345 Amen. 109 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:31,641 I'm stealing "religious undertones." 110 00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:35,853 I want to take this moment to thank you all for coming 111 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,898 after our seven-year hiatus. 112 00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:42,193 And I know that Gerry is looking down right now saying, 113 00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:45,530 "There you go, Mary. You get them reading again." 114 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:49,367 Pretty sure he's saying, "Yes, I am allergic to shrimp." 115 00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:52,286 Now, I wrestled long and hard 116 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,705 about what book would bring us back with a bang. 117 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:55,789 How did I do? 118 00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:57,624 Whoo! 119 00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:00,461 Loved the religious undertones. 120 00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,510 Now, just to refresh you on a few rules. 121 00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:10,012 First, have fun. 122 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:13,641 Second, no talking without the stick. Y'all remember Shushy? 123 00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:15,893 Doesn't "shushy" imply not talking? 124 00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:16,977 Shush. 125 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:21,065 And last, but most important rule, 126 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:24,861 please refrain from any graphic S-E-X talk 127 00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:28,531 and use our approved safe words, "rain" and "thunder." 128 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:31,409 Okay? Let's begin! 129 00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:33,453 Hang on. Quick group pic. 130 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:35,496 Okay. 131 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,498 All right, chin check, tilt up. 132 00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,500 Carol, tilt up more. 133 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:41,836 Never mind, put the book up in front of your neck. 134 00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:44,337 Got it. 135 00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:50,136 The Queen's Dilemma. 136 00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:51,304 I'll be brief. 137 00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:53,556 I've earmarked my talking points. 138 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:58,269 So, in the end, 139 00:07:58,352 --> 00:08:02,690 the clocks were a motif more than the crown was. 140 00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:04,357 In fact… 141 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,486 Is she ever gonna stop talking? 142 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:08,321 My fingernails have grown. 143 00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:10,907 …go so far as to say her royalty… 144 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:11,824 Leanne? 145 00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,868 …was merely a distant… 146 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,496 I fell asleep with my eyes open. 147 00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:17,830 …The Queen's Dilemma. 148 00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:20,541 It had a bit of Milton, Chaucer, 149 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:24,086 and now I'll Thoreau it to the next person. 150 00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:27,548 Wow. Okay. 151 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,718 First, let's give it up for Mary. 152 00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:36,641 You're not getting rid of Shushy that easy. 153 00:08:37,725 --> 00:08:40,019 Seriously, one more time for Mary. 154 00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:44,565 So… The Queen's Dilemma. 155 00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:47,860 We've all had them, am I right? 156 00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:52,990 And who here hasn't chased a clock-winder or two? 157 00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:56,953 Our Leanne's a little rusty. Let me help you out. 158 00:08:57,036 --> 00:09:01,582 Wasn't it moving that despite the fact she ruled a kingdom, 159 00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:06,128 the queen didn't feel complete until she had the love of a man? 160 00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:11,551 Wait. Is that what this book's about? 161 00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,886 Sorry, I didn't actually read it. 162 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,180 - What? - What?! 163 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,518 And now I'm glad I didn't. 164 00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:23,980 A woman only feeling whole if she's got a man by her side? 165 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:25,231 That's a bunch of hooey. 166 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:29,610 Look, y'all know my life blew up this year. 167 00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:32,613 Bill engaged in… rain and thunder… 168 00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,325 …with another woman. 169 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,786 My God, she's going there. 170 00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:42,248 When my marriage ended, I thought my world would too. 171 00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:44,709 Being a wife and mom was my whole identity, 172 00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:46,919 and I know some of y'all feel the same way. 173 00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:48,588 I see you, Hillary. 174 00:09:49,171 --> 00:09:50,881 No one ever sees me. 175 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:55,177 I never thought I'd be divorced at this time in my life. 176 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,179 Nobody saw that coming. 177 00:09:57,263 --> 00:10:00,474 But it's also been transformative for me. 178 00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:03,519 I found a strength in myself that I never knew I had. 179 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,980 Thank you for your thoughts. Who's next? 180 00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:08,316 Shush. 181 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:09,399 Go on. 182 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:14,113 Life isn't about finding the right person. 183 00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:17,074 It's about becoming the person you were always meant to be. 184 00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:22,913 I didn't read the book either! 185 00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:25,666 Good gravy, another offender. 186 00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:29,837 I came here tonight because I just needed to get out of the house. 187 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,173 I'm home all day, 188 00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:35,926 getting wiped on and spit on and peed on. 189 00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:38,512 I really hope she's talking about her kids. 190 00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:43,434 Sometimes, I drop my keys in the driveway 191 00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:46,771 just so I can squat down and have an extra second of me time. 192 00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:49,523 And I miss having my period! 193 00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:54,570 It took me hours to figure out what to wear tonight, 194 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,988 and this is where I landed. 195 00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:59,450 I know, it's perfect. But that's the problem. 196 00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:01,661 Why can't I look like Hillary once in a while? 197 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:06,290 Well, you know what I mean. Comfy. 198 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,418 You can. 199 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,504 Whose rules are you following anyway? 200 00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:12,922 Not mine. 201 00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:17,718 I did. I read the book because I'm a rule follower. 202 00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:20,096 I even read another book about the author of this book. 203 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:21,806 Apparently, she had polio. 204 00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:24,016 Then I read a book about polio. 205 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,976 It goes on and on and on. 206 00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:31,273 I miss my long hair, but they say I'm too old to wear it that way. 207 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,693 You wear your hair any way you want to. 208 00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,736 One hundred percent agree. 209 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,530 Within reason. We can talk. 210 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,534 I really didn't want to come tonight. 211 00:11:41,617 --> 00:11:43,994 Did anybody want to come? 212 00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:46,163 I was gonna spend my evening 213 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:49,667 agonizing over what to write to my boyfriend who's in jail. 214 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:51,711 We all heard about that one too. 215 00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,295 What was I thinking? 216 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:56,298 I don't want to be shackled to a man in shackles. 217 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,342 No, you do not. 218 00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,720 I don't know much, but I'll tell y'all this. 219 00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:03,055 I've never felt more empowered. 220 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:07,351 I look around this room and I see beautiful, smart, strong women. 221 00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:11,021 We are the real queens. 222 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:13,815 Yes! 223 00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:28,706 I'm now thinking green was the wrong color. 224 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:33,377 What's a five-letter word that means "sign of life"? 225 00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:34,754 - Pulse. - Pulse. 226 00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:39,049 No, it's got to start with a Q and an R. 227 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:42,762 When is their bathroom gonna be done? 228 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,139 I love them, but I'm ready for them to move back home. 229 00:12:45,222 --> 00:12:49,518 It's gonna take a long time for me to feel sexy in my bedroom again. 230 00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:53,856 Hey, last night, were you serious about ending it with Dylan? 231 00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:55,816 Yes. What was I thinking? 232 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,568 - You weren't. - I wasn't. 233 00:12:57,651 --> 00:12:59,528 - But you are now. - I am. 234 00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:01,405 You know, it's funny. 235 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:04,074 When you're my sister, I don't really listen to you. 236 00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:07,286 But now that you're an oracle, you make sense. 237 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,415 An oracle? 238 00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:14,710 I don't exactly know what that means, but I don't hate it. 239 00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:20,800 Here's to my life no longer revolving around serving a man. 240 00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:23,677 Carol, can you get your daddy some coffee? 241 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,431 - You do it. - No, you do it. 242 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,725 - I just did his socks. - I made his eggs. 243 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,268 And I'm an oracle. 244 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,732 Carol's got your coffee coming, Daddy. 245 00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:43,948 My Lord, you got 1,011 views on my Instagram. 246 00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:45,449 I haven't had this much traffic 247 00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:48,494 since I posted 20 Ways to Use a Flat Iron at a Red Light. 248 00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:50,830 Mom and Daddy, you know Becca Bowman. 249 00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:53,374 - Nice to see you, Rebecca. - Last time I saw your daddy… 250 00:13:53,457 --> 00:13:56,418 - Folks still living in Nashville? - …he'd come down with the sugar. 251 00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,003 I really like their food. 252 00:13:58,754 --> 00:13:59,922 Just pick one. 253 00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:02,006 Yes. 254 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,052 You two should be very proud of Leanne. 255 00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:07,972 She really inspired all of us at the book club last night. 256 00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:10,140 I was on a bit of a roll. 257 00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:13,477 Understatement. 258 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,187 She was dropping wisdom. 259 00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,982 Check this out. I took your speech and I remixed it. 260 00:14:18,732 --> 00:14:21,068 Life isn't about finding the right person. 261 00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:23,904 It's about becoming the person that you were always meant to be. 262 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:40,004 That's me? How did you do that? 263 00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:43,007 With an app. And a filter. And a teenager. 264 00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,800 That's catchy. 265 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,135 What am I listening to? 266 00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:49,305 Your daughter's about to blow up on social media. 267 00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,807 I just said some things that seemed to resonate. 268 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,977 It was awesome. It was all about female empowerment. 269 00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,979 Damn empowerment. 270 00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:00,983 I'm getting DMs asking for more Leanne content. 271 00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:03,027 If you keep this up, I can monetize it. 272 00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:04,111 Ooh. 273 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:08,240 Sweatshirts, tote bags, maybe a podcast. 274 00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:09,909 Yes, I'll do it with you! 275 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:14,705 Feminine hygiene products. Tagline, "You never leak with Leanne." 276 00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:20,044 Slow down. I'm nobody. 277 00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:21,795 I got nothing big to say. 278 00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:25,799 Well, you better think of something 'cause Miley Cyrus' mom just reposted you. 279 00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:27,384 - Ooh. - Tish? 280 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:32,097 I mean, I'm confused. What's happening? 281 00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:34,099 You've raised an amazing woman. 282 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:38,354 She made everyone in that room realize their worth has nothing to do with a man. 283 00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:39,437 No offense. 284 00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,316 You talking to me? I wasn't listening. 285 00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,444 He never is. 286 00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:47,071 - Just play it again. - Okay. 287 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,330 It's like I said, Hillary, 288 00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:58,457 when you start doing things for yourself, 289 00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:00,626 you find the energy. 290 00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,962 Okay, now. Bye. 291 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:08,217 Hillary's having Tommy watch the kids so she can go to a silent retreat. 292 00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:14,348 If people pay for silence, they'll pay for your face on a coaster. 293 00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:19,311 Cynthia's sending more pictures of her new hair extensions. 294 00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:20,312 Aw. 295 00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:22,940 "Luscious at any age." 296 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,360 Okay, check it out. 297 00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:31,198 Black sweatpants, pink lettering, "Real Queens" down the leg. 298 00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:33,575 You hate it. You love it? 299 00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,995 Forget it, it sucks. Dig deeper, Carol! 300 00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:40,374 I'm not doing this for money. I'm glad I'm helping people, 301 00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:43,669 making lives better one woman at a time. 302 00:16:44,878 --> 00:16:47,047 That's going on a G-string. 303 00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:55,597 John, remember when I wanted to take a job at the florist shop? 304 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:56,724 Yeah. 305 00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:59,351 Minimum wage to push flowers around a bowl 306 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:02,521 when you had a husband providing everything you needed. 307 00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:05,983 The forecast, mostly sunny… 308 00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:09,111 What, we still talking? 309 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,240 Making lives better. 310 00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:16,201 You're right, it's too hard to read on a G-string. 311 00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:20,330 I'm leaving that man. 312 00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:21,457 What? 313 00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:25,252 You mean you're leaving tomorrow with that man back to your house? 314 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:29,006 Thanks to you, Leanne, I have found my power. 315 00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:32,301 And your daddy does not like it. Now, scoot over. 316 00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:37,723 I blame you for this. 317 00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,307 I know. 318 00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:40,726 I'm not the bad guy. 319 00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:42,478 No one's the bad guy. 320 00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:46,899 I mean, excuse me for providing and protecting for 60 years. 321 00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:49,443 Daddy, she was just exploring the idea 322 00:17:49,526 --> 00:17:51,987 that women can find happiness with or without a man. 323 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,864 Which is a load of crap. 324 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,783 Your mother needs to come get in the car. 325 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:00,412 That'll help. 326 00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:04,792 She won't come. 327 00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:06,085 Try again. 328 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:09,546 The more you try to force it, the worse it's gonna get. 329 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:10,881 So I'm the problem? 330 00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:15,052 No, you're just a little old-fashioned in your way of thinking, that's all. 331 00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:19,848 I never heard your mother complain about it until you sang that dadgum song. 332 00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:22,392 Technically, I wasn't singing. 333 00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:23,936 Becca did a mix. 334 00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:25,479 You know what? Never mind. 335 00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:28,607 I'll go try talking to her again. 336 00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:33,612 So now I don't know what a song is. 337 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:38,950 Mama. 338 00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:40,410 I'm not going. 339 00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:44,832 I understand why you're upset. 340 00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:47,459 I let your daddy believe that he's in charge 341 00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,503 because it makes him feel good, 342 00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:53,799 but now I realize he actually thinks he's in charge. 343 00:18:55,425 --> 00:18:57,970 What am I supposed to tell him? 344 00:18:58,053 --> 00:19:02,349 You tell him only a coward makes his children do his talking. 345 00:19:02,432 --> 00:19:05,060 What else you got? 346 00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,690 - She's not budging. - Neither is he. 347 00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:12,359 I've got an idea, 348 00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:14,945 but it means both of us telling a little lie. 349 00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:17,865 I do it every day. You've never caught me. What's the plan? 350 00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:23,078 Mama fell. 351 00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:26,665 Daddy stopped breathing! 352 00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,379 My God. She actually fell? 353 00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:35,257 No. I went a little big on the lie. 354 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:38,177 John, you're breathing. 355 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:40,971 Of course I am. Are you okay? 356 00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:43,849 - Was it your hip? - I'm fine. 357 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,063 Okay, clearly we lied. 358 00:19:50,939 --> 00:19:54,109 But what matters is how quickly you two ran to each other. 359 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:57,446 And why? Because neither one of y'all can live without the other. 360 00:19:57,529 --> 00:20:01,742 The most important thing in life is finding your person. 361 00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:07,623 The real key to happiness is when the queen finds her king. 362 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,875 Her better half. 363 00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:11,752 The man that completes her. 364 00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:15,505 And aren't we all searching for that? 365 00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:19,968 So when the queen finds her king, 366 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:24,223 they go get in the carriage and go back home to the castle… 367 00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:28,352 where they live happily ever after. 368 00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:29,852 Nice. 369 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:33,440 Margaret, I'm an old grump, 370 00:20:33,523 --> 00:20:36,693 and I know you don't need me, but I hope you'll always want me. 371 00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:38,278 Aw. 372 00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,489 And if you want to sell flowers 373 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:44,201 for less than the gas money it takes to get there, fine. 374 00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:47,621 So close. 375 00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:51,875 So what do you say? You get in the car and go home with me? 376 00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:54,503 Well, you're the boss, John. 377 00:20:58,131 --> 00:20:59,800 We'll go get Mama's things. 378 00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:04,054 So I guess we're going with a different message? 379 00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:07,975 It's what a strong woman does. She reads the room and adapts. 380 00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:12,729 You don't read. That's what got us into this mess. 381 00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:24,908 You hear that? 382 00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,702 Nothing. 383 00:21:27,911 --> 00:21:30,789 Yeah, this is our silent retreat. 384 00:21:30,872 --> 00:21:33,750 Hillary got kicked out. She was too chatty. 385 00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:38,213 So you really didn't teach anyone anything. 386 00:21:39,006 --> 00:21:41,842 Well, you're not a prison wife. That's a big win. 387 00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:44,803 True. 388 00:21:45,595 --> 00:21:47,222 You know what they say. 389 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:49,474 If you can help just one person… 390 00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:51,268 Shh. 391 00:21:52,185 --> 00:21:53,395 You're done. 391 00:21:54,305 --> 00:22:54,604 Do you want subtitles for any video? -=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=-