"Austin" Episode #2.8

1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:02,480 You fancy Big Bear, don't you? 2 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:05,160 No! Heidi! Don't be ludicrous. 3 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,520 If you want me, Bear, I am yours. 4 00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:10,120 I refuse to feel guilty or ashamed anymore. 5 00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:11,720 (BOTH MOAN) 6 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:15,160 Ah! What the hell? 7 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:16,360 I can explain! 8 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,000 I think I hate you. 9 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:19,800 I'm sorry. 10 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:26,760 So when were you going to ask me about me? 11 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:28,240 Or is that not in your book? 12 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:29,720 I refuse to give up on love. 13 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:37,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 14 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:42,880 "Worst shirt ever." I concur. 15 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:47,880 "Check out the ego on this one." 16 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,280 You may have a point, anonymous poster. 17 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:56,720 "I hate this guy. 18 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:59,160 "I'm so glad he'll die alone." 19 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,120 "I'm so glad he'll die alone." 20 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:10,320 (SIGHS) 21 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,240 INGRID: Agatha? 22 00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:17,800 I can see you, Agatha. 23 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,120 Oh! Ingrid. Oh. Gosh. 24 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,200 I was really hoping to chat to you. 25 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:26,440 Did you know that it was Julian inside the Big Bear suit? 26 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:28,960 No, no, no, I thought you signed off on the casting process... 27 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,440 No, but we both know that you signed off on the casting process. 28 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:34,480 Oh. OK. Ah. So neither of us knew. OK, OK. 29 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:36,200 Cost cutting measure, mm? 30 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:39,400 A bold reimagining of the casting process, yes? 31 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:40,840 Agatha. Ah. 32 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:42,320 Ingrid is not happy. 33 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:45,160 You might need to talk her down. Ah... 34 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,680 Ah. Ah. Oh. 35 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:52,600 You know, that might be a bit of an understatement, Julian. 36 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:53,880 Oh. 37 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,040 You know, I think my time at Twee TV is done. 38 00:01:58,080 --> 00:01:59,680 Oh, no. Agatha. 39 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,200 Ingrid. Ingrid. 40 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:02,440 It's been... 41 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:04,520 So wonderful. ..weird. 42 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:06,240 Won... 43 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:07,840 Oh. 44 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:12,400 (WHISPERS) I'll talk to her. 45 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:19,800 Ingrid. Ingrid! 46 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,080 You do not get to Ingrid me anymore. 47 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:26,240 You said you needed a Big Bear. You have corrupted him. 48 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,360 I can't look at Big Bear 49 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,880 without seeing you rotting at his core. 50 00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:33,080 OK. Guilty as charged. I elevated my own material. 51 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,560 Dare I say it... Don't you dare say it. 52 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:38,600 That is the mark of a great actor. Yes, you are. 53 00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:41,960 You are a great actor. 54 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,040 Excuse me. 55 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:46,240 Oh. Good luck with the show. 56 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:50,520 Ingrid. 57 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,240 Maybe there's no way back for me and Ingrid. 58 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,880 Maybe I've killed Big Bear and my marriage in one fell swoop. 59 00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:17,920 I'm sorry, Julian. It's gonna feel pretty rough. 60 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,280 Perhaps there's a world where I, you know, 61 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:23,240 settle here in Canberra with my new family. 62 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,560 Well, if you do that, you're gonna want to get your own place 63 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,720 as soon as possible, yeah? Yeah, in time. Yeah. 64 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:28,920 Oh. Uh, sorry. 65 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:30,720 Uh, do me a favour. Um... 66 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,280 (SNIFFS) Yeah. Put these out of their misery. 67 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:35,520 Oh. Sure. 68 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:39,800 (SIGHS) Excited, Julian? 69 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:40,840 Absolutely. 70 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:42,560 Sorry. What for, sorry? 71 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,560 Well, it's Thunder Thursday. So it is! 72 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,000 Also, what's Thunder Thursday? 73 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:50,040 Well, it's only the greatest day in the history of Canberra sports. 74 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,120 There's a humongous cricket match, 75 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,320 Matildas playing in the afternoon, plus golf, 76 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:58,160 and I don't even need to tell you about the footy final later. 77 00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:02,320 So, you guys want to join me? I'll dip in and out, Bill. 78 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:04,600 Dip in and out? No, no. 79 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:06,920 Thunder Thursday is an all day commitment. 80 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,040 What's that for? 81 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,520 Oh. Necessary relief. Uh... 82 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,920 We won't be moving from our seats for ten hours. 83 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:16,000 But don't worry, I'll find you a pitcher. 84 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:19,560 One here somewhere. 85 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,440 Getting ready for Thunder Thursday, Granddad? 86 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:22,480 Yeah. 87 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:24,200 Just don't give Dad my Doctor Doom bottle. 88 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,360 Yeah. I will not be requiring an empty bottle, Bill, 89 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,680 Marvel themed or otherwise. 90 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:31,200 The transport groups have been warning about this day for months. 91 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,080 All those sports fans coupled with major roadworks. 92 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,080 It's a recipe for public transport bedlam. 93 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:40,000 There you go. Three litres of good times. 94 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,240 Just so you all know, I'm having a terrible morning. 95 00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:46,480 Oh, really, sweetheart? What happened? 96 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,280 I can't stop thinking about the comments under my videos. 97 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:52,560 Oh, love. You never read the comments. 98 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:56,720 It's taught me a lesson. I've been unpleasant and arrogant. 99 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:58,640 That's why I blew it with Hayley. 100 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:00,680 Greta made you like that, love. 101 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:04,440 Greta's gone. She is banished from the Austin realm, and from now on, 102 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,360 I strive to be a better person. 103 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,120 Well, it is a long road to enlightenment. 104 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,800 Or so I'm told. I don't like to waste time, Dad. 105 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:14,040 I prefer to get all done by about mid-afternoon. 106 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,120 Can you help? 107 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:19,720 H-he can't do that, Austin, lad. It's Thunder Thursday. 108 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,760 I bought all these beers and... I'll dip in and out, Bill. 109 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,000 Come on, Austin, let's go. Yes! 110 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:26,320 Excuse me. Oh. 111 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:36,920 Agatha, this is my home. How did you get in? 112 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,680 Back gate was unlocked. Very unsafe. 113 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:42,520 You...are luminous. 114 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,720 Mm. We're doing this, are we? Well, Agatha, you look radiant. 115 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,160 Do I? It's almost as if 116 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,360 you've been feasting on the blood of a younger, weaker producer. 117 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:50,400 Huh. 118 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,520 Have you come to try and get me to change my mind? 119 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:53,840 Because it's a complete waste of time. 120 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:57,200 No. God, no. Never. No. Is that a lie? 121 00:05:57,240 --> 00:06:00,400 No. I deeply respect your decision. Do you actually? 122 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:01,480 Yes. 123 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,000 The sheer courage it must have taken 124 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:06,120 to walk away from something so wildly profitable. 125 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,800 It's inspiring. Do you mean that? 126 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:10,840 You're a monk. 127 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:13,160 What? 128 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:16,560 You're like a monk who's shed all their earthly possessions 129 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,680 and just wanders off into the mist, 130 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:20,440 leaving the rest of the monastery unemployed. 131 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:21,480 It's very monkish. 132 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:24,920 Agatha, are we telling the truth now? 133 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:26,360 Yes. 134 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,280 Then in that case, cards on the table, 135 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:31,240 I do feel hideously guilty about putting you out of a job. 136 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:33,800 And Hayley and all the other people in the office 137 00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:35,280 whose names I never quite learned. 138 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:38,280 And I'm truly sorry. Oh, no. It's OK. 139 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,960 Oh, gosh, I almost forgot. We got a letter this morning. 140 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,440 Mm? Um... 141 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,720 Oh, OK. Yeah. It's from some little kid. 142 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:46,800 Mm-hm. 143 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:49,720 Actually it doesn't matter. What? It does. 144 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:51,000 It's from a kid. It does matter. 145 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:52,960 You know how hard it is for those guys to write. 146 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,280 Yes. Yeah. 147 00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:57,560 Ahhh. OK. 148 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:00,680 "Hi. My name is Sammy 149 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,360 "and I'm seven years old, and I live in a hospital. 150 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:08,080 "Mum and Dad say I... I'll get better, 151 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:11,360 "but I see their faces after they've spoken to the doctor." 152 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:15,520 Are you sure you want to hear this? 153 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:21,280 "But I heard that my favourite book is going to be a TV series. 154 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:25,280 "I just had to say thank you for making Big Bear real. 155 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,240 "I can't..." Oh, God, what have I done? 156 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,640 "I can't wait to watch Big Bear's adventures, 157 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:36,000 "as will other key demographics." Is that what it says? 158 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,160 Yes. "I'm so happy..." Let me see it. 159 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:39,880 "..that the network is so firmly behind it. 160 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,400 Network? "..was in its streaming..." 161 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:46,560 "..enhanced brand story..." "That I'm helming...helming..." 162 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,480 Agatha! Beautiful. It's beautiful. 163 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,480 No child writes like this. 164 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,200 You've written this. You've made up... 165 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,040 Yes, smart and sick children... You've lied about a sick child. 166 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,520 ..everywhere. Agatha, you need help. 167 00:07:58,560 --> 00:07:59,600 I have help. 168 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:02,400 You need a lot more help than you are getting. 169 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,800 Listen, I'm not just leaving the show. 170 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,480 I'm leaving Australia right now. 171 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:08,560 ERIN: Minister? 172 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,240 You need to sign off on this by the end of today. 173 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:13,880 What? 174 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:17,360 Yes, absolutely. Which, uh...which bit? 175 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,360 The trans-Pacific subcommittee steering group. 176 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:25,720 I've mentioned it five times. I am 200 per cent focussed. 177 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,640 Remind me which bit we're talking about again. 178 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,400 Remind me which bit you're 200 per cent focussed on. 179 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:36,280 Oh, well, all of it, obviously. The...subcommittee, the Pacific, 180 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:38,360 the...steering? 181 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,040 Minister. 182 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:45,320 You have to forget about that woman. She has a name, Erin, OK? It's Mel. 183 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:49,040 And she's just one of 26 million Australians, 184 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,400 all of whom would really love it 185 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:53,040 if you could please just stop staring out the window 186 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:54,920 like a widowed sea captain, 187 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:58,040 and just approve the wording of paragraph 5e. 188 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,760 Yes, yes. The job always comes first. 189 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:03,480 Doesn't it, though? 190 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,200 "The parties shall, on request of a party, 191 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,200 "review the operation of this interim agreement 192 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:12,440 "so as to consider any amendment to the previous agreement." 193 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:13,720 Do you think I should text her? 194 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,480 Sure. I'll let the Treasury know. 195 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,360 OK. Uh, we're gonna do this professionally, right? 196 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,520 So I'm not gonna say "one". 197 00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:32,000 I'm just gonna go "three, two," and then you start, all right? All set? 198 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:33,560 I think so. 199 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,240 Would you like to critique my outfit? 200 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:36,920 Greta used to. Oh, I don't know, mate. 201 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,480 I mean, you're wearing, you know, some clothes. 202 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:44,080 Uh... Shall we? Yeah. OK. Three, two... 203 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,680 (WHISPERS) Not gonna say "one". (SPORTS PLAYING ON TV) 204 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,920 BILL: Who put that dingbat on the team!? Pack of clowns. 205 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,280 Bill! What? 206 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:51,720 Uh, we're gonna have to keep it down 207 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:53,720 'cause I'm just trying to video Austin. 208 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,960 I have to show the world that I'm sorry and I'm doing the work. 209 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,840 Well, it's Thunder Thursday. Emotions take hold. 210 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:00,920 I have an idea. 211 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,280 If something exciting happens in the next few minutes, 212 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:04,920 write down what you would have said. 213 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,840 Then after we're done, you can shout it out. 214 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:09,600 Yeah, that could work. 215 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,960 Three, two... 216 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,440 (WHISPERS) I'm not gonna say "one". 217 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:18,760 Hello, my name is Austin. I'm an author. 218 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,720 Well, I used to be one. 219 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:22,680 I've been rude to some of you recently, 220 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:24,800 and I'm very sorry. 221 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:27,040 If I didn't sign your book when I was meant to, 222 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:30,000 I'll come to you to sign it. Anywhere in the world. 223 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,040 Anywhere in the Australian Capital Territory. 224 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,080 And if I wronged you in some other way, 225 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,240 I will do one of the following: 226 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:39,560 Walk your dog, 227 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:40,600 lend you a paperback 228 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,080 from my extensive collection of science fiction, 229 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:44,760 or give you a foot rub. 230 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,600 Not give you a foot rub. 231 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,680 Thank you. Please like me. 232 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,880 Fantastic. Absolutely perfect in every way. 233 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,480 We should edit out "Please like me". Yeah, 100 per cent. 234 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,280 Oh! One thing. Oh, yeah. You said, uh, 235 00:10:58,320 --> 00:10:59,960 "Used to be an author." 236 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,560 I no longer wish to suckle from fame's teat. 237 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,400 You can shout now, Granddad. 238 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:08,560 You beauties! You idiots! 239 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,080 You blind? 240 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:13,640 Something else, but I can't read my own writing. 241 00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:14,720 I've made the video 242 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:17,360 and I've just started a direct debit to charity. 243 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:22,000 I declare myself redeemed. Now to win over Hayley. 244 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:25,160 That may take a teensy bit longer. Wrong answer. 245 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,280 I don't like to waste time. 246 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,560 I know just where we need to go now. 247 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,720 Julian, my bottle's nearly full already. 248 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:33,440 I may have to go into your one. 249 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,960 I'll, uh...I'll leave space for you. 250 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,840 Hang on, Austin. I'm coming with you. 251 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,400 I love you SO much. I miss you SO much. 252 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:47,160 I don't want to do a single 'nother day without you. 253 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,680 And you're totally sure about this, Mum? 254 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,760 Florence, whatever is flying to the UK tonight, 255 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,080 I'm going to be on it. I don't care how much it... 256 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:58,040 Holy...shit. How much? OK. Maybe tomorrow. 257 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:00,560 Well, I can't wait to see you, Mum. And, um... 258 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,280 Yeah, any damage at home isn't because I've been renting out rooms. 259 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:06,040 OK? Hey, Flo. 260 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,440 Your mummy is a dummy. 261 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,080 I'm so stupid. 262 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,160 Do you remember I said 263 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,040 that I'd street cast the perfect Big Bear? 264 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,320 Well, guess who it was. Your dad! 265 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,320 Well, Dad's DNA is in that bear. Yeah, well, it is now. 266 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:20,800 Suit's full of his sweat. 267 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,720 And this is a man who sweats to excess in Stockholm. 268 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:27,360 When he gets to Australia, he's like...sweats like a cheap chicken. 269 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,800 I'm like, Julian, can you stop that? It's disgusting! 270 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:33,760 You're angry, aren't you, Mum? Am I angry? 271 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:37,080 Yes, I am angry. Florence, you're very perceptive. 272 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:40,240 Do you ever think that maybe it's not Dad that you're angry at? 273 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,440 I don't say that. Remember, you only got a C in psychology, 274 00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:44,960 and that was after a lot of very expensive private tuition. 275 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,760 Maybe the person you're really angry at is you. 276 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,800 And you said it. That is gobsmacking, 277 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:52,760 I am gobsmacked. 278 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,600 You say you want nothing more to do with Dad, 279 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,440 but you still talk about him all the time. 280 00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:58,520 That's 'cause he won't leave me alone. 281 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:01,040 Or because you don't want to admit to yourself 282 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,200 that you still have deep feelings for him. 283 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,480 Mum, it's you against your pride. 284 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,080 I shouldn't talk to you about your father. 285 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,760 It's terrible parenting. I'm booking this flight. 286 00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:15,160 What? It's gone up while I was talking to you. 287 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,800 Even the airline app thinks I'm a fool. 288 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:18,840 (PHONE CHIMES) 289 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,920 It's Ingrid. She wants to meet this afternoon. 290 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,800 No 'love', no 'kiss-kiss'. 291 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,880 This is the beginning of the formal process. 292 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:30,880 Well, maybe it's good news. I know that's highly unlikely, 293 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:34,080 but I'm being upbeat for your sake. I think it's obvious. 294 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:35,720 You know, we're gonna get the big D. 295 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:38,400 I don't think so. You don't? 296 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:41,320 You last ate from the same kitchen more than 24 hours ago, 297 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,200 and for both of you to get it would be a freakish coincidence. 298 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:49,680 Ah, I see. Yeah. The, uh...the big D I'm talking about is, erm... 299 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:53,960 ..it's not diarrhoea. Oh, right. Divorce. 300 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,120 I'm sorry, Dad. 301 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,200 Can I take your mind off it by talking about myself? 302 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,120 Yeah. Do you know what? That'll actually help. 303 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:05,920 I'm thinking about a grand gesture to win over Hayley. 304 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:10,360 OK, well, uh, don't hide a diamond ring in food. 305 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:13,040 No one wants to get engaged via a choking hazard. 306 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,600 It's fine, Dad. And don't learn the ukulele. 307 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,760 Don't stand outside her flat in the pouring rain, 308 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,440 holding a speaker playing her favourite song, 309 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,240 because statistically speaking, 310 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,040 her favourite song is not what you think it is. 311 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,360 Dad. No monologues, no orchestras. 312 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:27,120 Do not learn the ukulele. 313 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:28,160 You've already told me that. 314 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,560 Yeah, that's because it's really critical. 315 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:30,680 It's OK, Dad. 316 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,440 I've already got something else in mind. 317 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,120 Excuse me, sir, 318 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,600 whose name badge informs me it's James, 319 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:39,960 I've got cash and a plan. 320 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,040 Come on! 321 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:43,680 Hey, Granddad, which of these shirts 322 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,440 would be better for me to meet Hayley in? 323 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,560 This one or this one? Uh... 324 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,360 That one. You didn't even turn around to look. 325 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,000 Thunder Thursday's approaching its peak, Austin. 326 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,960 Cricket, golf and soccer all underway, and... 327 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,040 ..and footy about to start soon. 328 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:03,680 My...my body's nearly 80 per cent Twisties. 329 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:04,720 (DOORBELL RINGS) 330 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,200 I hope you're satisfied. 331 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,320 Erin, are you...are you drunk? 332 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,160 No. Are you? 333 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,160 Here we go. (GROANS) 334 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:22,400 That'll make you feel better. Thank you. 335 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:25,960 This is all part of your plan, wasn't it? 336 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,800 What plan? The minister is resigning 337 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,760 from public office today. 338 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,800 Why? Because you didn't want to be 339 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,880 a politician's partner. 340 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:38,800 What? He's leaving his job for me? 341 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:40,560 That's true love, that is. 342 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:44,360 Course, such a big sacrifice is gonna poison the whole relationship 343 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,840 in the end, and everything will collapse. 344 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:50,400 Mum, why did you really split up with Minister Keates? 345 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:53,040 I'd like to hear the truth this time. 346 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:56,160 I thought that if he gets to the top, which he might, 347 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,640 bad people would scrape our entire lives 348 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,840 looking for anything to use against him, 349 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,440 and I didn't want anybody doing that to you, Austin. 350 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:07,000 I've already been trolled, Mum, and it doesn't scare me now. 351 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,040 I'm big enough to look after myself. 352 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:11,920 I've been trying to tell you that the whole time. 353 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,880 I guess you are. Look, we can't let the minister quit his job. 354 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,120 That's just crazy. 355 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,000 This really wasn't part of your plan? 356 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:22,280 No. We have to stop him. OK. Um, uh, he... 357 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:25,360 He's called a press conference for 3pm. 358 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:29,880 I can't get through. Nor me. 359 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:31,560 We need to get to the press conference 360 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:32,960 before he does something stupid. 361 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:36,520 You want to get across town? On Thunder Thursday? 362 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:37,800 (LAUGHS) No chance. 363 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,800 It's the worst day for traffic in the history of Canberra. 364 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,200 We'll never get there. Yes you will, Mum. 365 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:45,360 You have a son that's armed with in-depth knowledge 366 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:47,040 of Canberra's public transport system. 367 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,120 And I assure you 368 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:51,200 that I will get you there by any means possible. 369 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:52,760 I believe you, Austin. 370 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,360 Slight caveat, we can't leave immediately, 371 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,480 because there's something I have to do first. 372 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:04,160 Oh. Hey, Austin. Hayley, may I be honest? 373 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:05,200 Yeah, I'd prefer it. 374 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:07,360 I spent a large chunk of my book earnings 375 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:10,360 organising a romantic gesture in this cafe. 376 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:11,400 For me? 377 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:15,760 Yes. Those three baristas plus all the customers in here are not real. 378 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,120 On my coded signal, they were going to launch into 379 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,440 a carefully choreographed pastiche with props. 380 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:24,720 I knew it was weird that the baristas weren't making coffee. 381 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,000 Correct. When the pastiche started, 382 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,920 I was going to look confused at first, 383 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,320 then feign surprise 384 00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:32,960 and then punctuate the end with a flourish. 385 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,880 And at that point, you would have realised 386 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:37,360 that I wasn't just a stunned bystander, 387 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,760 but the mastermind behind the whole thing. 388 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,920 Mm. Pastiches are tricky to pull off. 389 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,360 I can see that now. 390 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,600 But anyway, I have more pressing matters to attend to. 391 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,200 I need to get my mother to central Canberra by 3pm 392 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:51,760 via mass transit only. 393 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,680 Not just her happiness, but the entire course of Australian history 394 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:56,840 depends on this very outcome. Farewell. 395 00:17:56,880 --> 00:18:00,200 How will you make it when the 57B is on diversion 396 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,760 and the T1 tram's on a skeleton service? 397 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:06,720 I had no idea that you knew so much about public transport. 398 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,880 Never asked. Well, I'm asking you now. 399 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:12,280 Hayley, will you help me, please? 400 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:23,200 That wasn't the signal! 401 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:25,400 Hurry up, Mum! 402 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:32,320 We stop in seven seconds. Six, five, four, three, two, one. 403 00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,160 Thank God for car-free bus lanes. 404 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:39,960 That's crucial civic infrastructure. We're going the wrong way. 405 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,040 Oh, well, most routes around 406 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,280 the parliamentary triangle are in gridlock. 407 00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:46,560 We'll have to travel outward first to circumvent that particular issue. 408 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,120 INGRID: I mean, I'd suggest therapy, 409 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,880 but I'm not sure your big blue arse would fit in the chair. 410 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:57,720 OK. I mean, I deceived you by being both a man and a bear. 411 00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:01,600 But if you think about it, you know, if you really analyse the data, 412 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:05,680 I mean, you were two-timing me. I mean, with me. 413 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,920 Julian, I just can't think through the ethics of it. 414 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:11,800 It just makes me feel dizzy. 415 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,720 I just feel like I'm trapped in one of those salad spinner rides 416 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:15,920 at the fairground, you know? 417 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,880 I'm pasted to the side and I can't move, 418 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:19,560 and it's been going on for about four years, 419 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,600 and I think I'm going to be sick. 420 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:25,880 You, Big Blue, lied to me. 421 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,480 OK, maybe it wasn't my best idea. 422 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:32,920 What, maybe? It definitely wasn't my best idea. 423 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,680 And the thing is that in spite of the ridiculousness, 424 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:40,400 it does actually...does actually really hurt. 425 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:45,200 I do feel completely humiliated. 426 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:49,200 And I think that's maybe partly 427 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,160 to do with the fact that I'm the last person to know, yet again. 428 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:55,240 I was trying to help. You do know that, don't you? 429 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:58,440 But after I had begged you not to. 430 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,800 That since Austin, that's what it's felt like. 431 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:05,360 I think I want to get off. 432 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,440 OK. 433 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:16,080 Well, yeah. Maybe it's time we, you know, 434 00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:19,360 picked up a stick of candy floss and... 435 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:20,600 A balloon. A balloon. 436 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:21,680 Yeah. 437 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:26,440 And we take our big blue teddy bear that we've won 438 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,520 and walk out of the fairground forever. 439 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,400 Take a moment. 440 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:40,640 So at the next interchange, we head straight into town on the, um... 441 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,280 Uh... 47B. 442 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:43,320 About time. 443 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,480 Wait a minute. We're running 23 seconds late! 444 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:49,800 Oh, but if we miss that connection, 445 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,240 there won't be another one for another 20 minutes. 446 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:53,480 No, that's too late. 447 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:55,960 Hey, Austin? 448 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,880 Are you and Ingrid anywhere near the transit interchange? 449 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,160 Yeah. Yeah, I can see it from here. Why? 450 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:15,120 (PANTING HEAVILY) 451 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:18,640 Sorry! I know you want to get to the match, but, um... 452 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:22,320 We just need to, uh, hold the bus here for a minute. 453 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:23,680 Uh, it is an emergency. 454 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:26,440 Yeah, because some things are more important than football. 455 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:29,680 Am I right, ladies? Um... 456 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,160 I don't think we're winning them over. 457 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,840 Uh... Thunder Thursday! Yay! 458 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,040 (CHEERING) 459 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:39,600 We're here, Ingrid. Whoo! OK! Come on, come on, come on. 460 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,320 We're here! Yeah. 461 00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:44,240 Go, go, go, go! Ah! God save the King. 462 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:06,800 So...you went to all that trouble at the cafe, 463 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,720 just to drop it all to help your mum? 464 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:12,320 I had to. That's good of you, Austin. 465 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,000 See, that's the guy I thought I saw when we first met. 466 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:23,080 Oh, I saw your video. Why would you stop writing? 467 00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:25,400 You're so good at it. Fame is not good for me. 468 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:31,160 Austin. You're not real famous. 469 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,360 You're travel memoir famous. 470 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:38,240 Hey. Excuse me. Does anyone know who this guy is? 471 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,160 PASSENGERS: No. 472 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,520 Point taken. Still, it's a shame 473 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:45,000 that you never got to see my romantic gesture. 474 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:50,400 It's OK. I would much rather be doing this. 475 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,880 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 476 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:04,120 Thank you, everyone. (CAMERAS CLICKING) 477 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,680 It has been the greatest privilege of my life 478 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:10,040 to serve this nation in public office these last seven years. 479 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:12,720 Uh... 480 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,760 Uh...uh... 481 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,800 And I am grateful for the many opportunities I have had 482 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:22,400 to represent our country on the world stage. 483 00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:29,360 And that is why I am going to, um... 484 00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:36,320 ..continue in the role as normal. (REPORTERS GROAN) 485 00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:37,800 That's the announcement. Thank you very much. 486 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:44,040 That's it? We were promised a scoop. 487 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:47,120 You cut that fine. I like to live dangerously. 488 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,360 Oh, we did it, Austin. 489 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,040 Ah! Young love, eh? Yep. 490 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,240 Oh! Pizzas up. 491 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:05,040 Hayley, how are your parents doing on that farm in the Hunter Valley? 492 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,560 They dug that well they got permission for? 493 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:11,160 Yeah. They did. Thank you. How does he know that? 494 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:12,240 It's what he does. 495 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:13,560 (GLASSES CLINK) 496 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,320 We have some great times ahead of us, don't we, Mum? 497 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,080 I'm really pleased you'll get to have full intercourse 498 00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:29,240 with Minister Keates in Paris. 499 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:32,520 I really wouldn't have put it that way, Austin, but thank you. 500 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,520 I'm happy you fixed things with Hayley. 501 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:39,280 We have a lot in common. She may even be the one. 502 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:41,760 Wow. One step at a time, though. 503 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:43,800 I may ask her to marry me. 504 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,280 Definitely too soon for that. You're right. 505 00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,080 But neither of us like to waste time, 506 00:24:48,120 --> 00:24:50,760 so we've decided to move in together. 507 00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,880 When are you thinking of doing that? Today. 508 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:01,040 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 509 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:04,160 I'm going in. 510 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:09,640 (COUGHS AWKWARDLY) 511 00:25:10,120 --> 00:25:12,640 Oh. Cheers. (CHUCKLES) 512 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:28,760 INGRID: Agatha! 513 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:32,120 Great news. Big Bear is back on. 514 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:34,440 We'll sort it out. We'll sort it all out when I get back 515 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:35,880 from visiting my daughter in England. 516 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,640 It's gonna be great, Agatha! Agatha? 517 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:44,200 That's great. Can't wait to get the band back together. 518 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,040 (LAUGHS WEAKLY) 519 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:47,800 Oh, sh... 520 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,480 Hayley! Oh! Fire! 521 00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:53,480 Whoa! 522 00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:57,760 Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation 523 00:25:58,305 --> 00:26:58,448 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm