"Our Miss Brooks" Old Marblehead

1 00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:14,264 Well, those look very edible, Mrs. Davis. 2 00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:16,600 I'll just bolt them down, then dash off to school. 3 00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:17,893 No, take your time, dear. 4 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,103 Remember, your stomach has no teeth. 5 00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:23,565 Unless you're a member of the Elks. 6 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:26,735 I don't dare be a second late to school these days. 7 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:30,405 I don't know if I mentioned it, Mrs. Davis, but Madison 8 00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:33,700 is operating under the Conklin Carelessness Code. 9 00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:35,410 What in the world is that? 10 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:39,164 It's another of the Dream Boys' diabolical devices. 11 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:42,251 Designed, as he put it, to keep us on our toes. 12 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:47,130 It's a list of petty offenses for which the faculty and students can be fined. 13 00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:49,758 Of course, the fines are purely voluntary. 14 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:50,592 Voluntary? 15 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,345 Yes, like income taxes. 16 00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:59,893 All the fines go into a fund which will be used to buy a new statue for the library. 17 00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:02,145 What kind of a statue? 18 00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:04,648 A statue of a man whom Osgood Conklin admires 19 00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:07,067 and respects more than anyone in the world. 20 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,610 Who's that? 21 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,655 Osgood Conklin. 22 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:15,158 When he first thought of the idea, he put a receptacle 23 00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:19,288 in the hall for donations marked, Osgood Conklin bust. 24 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:25,544 At the end of the first day, he found six notes in it reading, you said it. 25 00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:29,006 That's what gave him the idea for the carelessness code. 26 00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:32,467 Now, when he catches anyone committing any one of the offenses, which he makes up as 27 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:36,138 he goes along, he rattles a tin can at them and says, feed the kitty, feed the kitty. 28 00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:41,810 Has he caught you yet, Connie? 29 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:42,728 Has he? 30 00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:47,232 I've fed the kitty so often, I'm beginning to feel like a tall mouse. 31 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:48,525 Oh, I'd better get ready to leave. 32 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:54,072 Walter's going to pick me up early this morning. 33 00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:56,992 I better get these shoes oiled or I'll never 34 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,661 be able to sneak past Mr. Conklin today. 35 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:00,746 Oh, you poor dear. 36 00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:03,832 It has been an expensive week for you, hasn't it? 37 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,251 Yes, it has, and that's what has me worried. 38 00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:08,462 I don't have a quarter in my purse. 39 00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:12,924 He can get me on a vagrancy wrap. 40 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:14,801 Well, maybe it's all for the best. 41 00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:21,933 The less I have on me, the less I'll have to donate to the bust... for the bust. 42 00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:26,021 Maybe it's my toes. 43 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:28,899 Goodbye, Mrs. Davis. 44 00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:29,816 Goodbye, dear. 45 00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:36,948 Now, why should your stomach have teeth if you were an elk? 46 00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,874 This Conklin caused nothing but medieval tyranny. 47 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:49,544 Like, yesterday he fined me 15 cents for whistling outside of his office. 48 00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:51,963 A downright injustice. 49 00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:53,090 Weren't you whistling? 50 00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:57,427 Well, sure I was whistling, but I didn't know he was in his office. 51 00:02:57,552 --> 00:03:00,347 The entire code's founded on injustice. 52 00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,974 Miss Brooks, I've talked it over with some of the other 53 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,352 kids at school and we've appointed you our leader. 54 00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:06,645 Me? 55 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:09,272 You can't avoid this responsibility, Miss Brooks. 56 00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:11,858 We've got to fight fire with fire. 57 00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:15,070 You're the knight we've chosen to slay the dragon. 58 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:21,952 I'm sorry, Walter, but my card in the Dragon Slayers Union has expired. 59 00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:24,579 Besides, that bust is going to be finished tomorrow. 60 00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:27,499 Yeah, but how do we know there's enough money in the kitty to pay for it? 61 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:28,792 Oh, which reminds me. 62 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,336 Before we get to school, I'd like to ask you a favor. 63 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:34,256 Would you hold this 40 cents for me, please? 64 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:35,132 40 cents? 65 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:36,383 Yeah, it's my lunch money. 66 00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:39,511 I don't want to have it on me in case Mr. Conklin fines me 67 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,848 for breaking some rule he makes up right after I've broken it. 68 00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:45,100 Just put it in your purse for me, will you? 69 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,685 Okay. 70 00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:50,397 Well, added to what I've got in there, I get a grand 71 00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:53,817 total of one broken watch crystal and 40 cents. 72 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,243 Wouldn't you like to sit down? 73 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,077 Yes, I would. 74 00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:06,163 I thought you would. 75 00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:06,496 There you are. 76 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:10,917 That will be 10 cents for not going straight to your first class. 77 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:14,671 That's what I wanted to talk to you about, Mr. Conklin. 78 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:18,675 Many of your pupils are getting a little tired of your carelessness code. 79 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:19,384 Oh? 80 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,344 Is this insubordination? 81 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:24,681 About a nickel's worth, yes. 82 00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:28,268 I'm surprised at you, Miss Brooks. 83 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,729 Of course, you know where the money is going. 84 00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,689 Yes, it's going into a statue. 85 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:36,193 Well, not just a statue, rather the statue which will serve as 86 00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:39,821 an inspiration to unborn generations of Madison High students. 87 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,950 Then why not let them pay for it? 88 00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:46,495 I mean, where are you going to put the statue, sir? 89 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,955 In the school library, of course, on that lovely 90 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,208 mahogany pedestal overlooking the entrance. 91 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,418 Next to the bust of Caesar? 92 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:58,173 Instead of it, Miss Brooks. 93 00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:02,802 Pretty big job, summer replacement for Julius Caesar. 94 00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:05,013 Where are you going to put Caesar's bust? 95 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:08,558 Well, Miss Brooks, before the Board of Education takes 96 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:12,145 its next inventory, Caesar may meet with an accident. 97 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:12,812 It's possible. 98 00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:15,607 He met with one before. 99 00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,567 I mean the bust. 100 00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:18,568 Who knows? 101 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:22,781 He may inadvertently meet with a dreadful accident. 102 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:28,411 Why, Mr. Conlon, you're not thinking of... Not out loud, I'm not. 103 00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:31,039 Oh, before I forget, Miss Brooks, I want you to go over 104 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,667 to the library and straighten out the records at once. 105 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:37,212 Walter Denton has been acting as librarian for the past few weeks. 106 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:41,341 Needless to say, he has made a complete mess of everything. 107 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:44,511 But Mr. Conklin, my regular school duties... Oh, this 108 00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:47,806 won't interfere with your regular duties, Miss Brooks. 109 00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:54,187 I hereby grant you permission to take care of this matter after school hours. 110 00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:56,314 How charming of you, Mr. Conklin. 111 00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:58,275 And what about the carelessness code? 112 00:05:58,400 --> 00:05:59,651 Oh, I'm glad you reminded me. 113 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,111 You owe me 30 cents. 114 00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:02,153 Eat the kitty. 115 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,281 But I haven't got any money, Mr. Conklin. 116 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:09,369 Miss Brooks, I distinctly heard your purse rattle when you sat down. 117 00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:16,585 Oh, well, I might as well add embezzling to my other crimes. 118 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,211 There you are, Mr. Conklin. 119 00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,547 Oh, but you only owed me 30 cents, Miss Brooks. 120 00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:22,090 You put 40 in the kitty. 121 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,301 Just credited to my account. 122 00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:31,391 I'm sure I'll earn another 10-cent fine in no time. 123 00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,152 Can I serve you something, Miss Brooks? 124 00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:43,445 No, thanks, Harriet. 125 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,196 Just smelling. 126 00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:48,992 Well, the cafeteria's added a bit of class today, 127 00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,661 with the principal's daughter waiting on customers. 128 00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:53,538 Oh, it was my turn to help out. 129 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:56,791 But I'm just about finished serving now, so I'm going to have my lunch. 130 00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:57,584 I've got it all ready. 131 00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:58,918 Would you care to join me? 132 00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:00,462 Oh, I'd love to, Harriet. 133 00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:07,594 I'll get a glass of water and a napkin and meet you at the table. 134 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:11,890 Well, there we are. 135 00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,017 Oh, swell. 136 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:16,269 Gosh, this roast beef looks yummy. 137 00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:17,979 It certainly is. 138 00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,148 Did you have it with the barbecue sauce today? 139 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:24,361 No, I smelled it plain today. 140 00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:26,446 I'm on sort of a diet, Harriet. 141 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:29,282 Oh, I don't know why you have to diet. 142 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:31,534 Golly, I wish I had your figure. 143 00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:35,955 So do I. You could feed it better. 144 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:39,084 How does that beef taste with the barbecue sauce? 145 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,919 Mmm, delicious. 146 00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:44,422 Would you like a taste, Miss Brooks? 147 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:45,799 Well... Oh, I'm sorry. 148 00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:48,343 If you're on a diet, I better not tempt you. 149 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,679 Tempt me, tempt me. 150 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:51,262 Oh, no. 151 00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:54,933 I know how difficult it is sometimes to stay on a diet, and I would... Harriet, 152 00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:58,395 put a piece of that on the end of this fork before I spear it from here. 153 00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:02,732 There you are, Miss Brooks. 154 00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:04,192 Oh, that's divine. 155 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:09,406 Of course, to me, roast beef is good with or without barbecue sauce. 156 00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:10,573 Oh, to me too. 157 00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,158 Really? 158 00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:15,453 Well, I'm one teacher that offers proof positive. 159 00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:16,788 Give me a little bit plain. 160 00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:21,084 There you are, Miss Brooks. 161 00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,169 Oh, that is wonderful. 162 00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:26,631 You know, the funny thing about tasting beef plain is that 163 00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:31,052 you sort of forget how it tastes with the barbecue sauce on. 164 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:38,184 Miss Brooks, now you really don't want another... All right, there you are. 165 00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:44,566 My goodness, Miss Brooks, one would think you hadn't had any lunch all week. 166 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:47,527 One would be on the right track. 167 00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,446 I hate to tell you this while you're eating, 168 00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:51,573 Harriet, but it's mostly because of your father. 169 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:54,409 His carelessness code has me broke. 170 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,870 Oh, I'm against it, too, Miss Brooks. 171 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:59,914 Why, Daddy even finds me every chance he gets. 172 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:02,751 Do you know it cost me a nickel just to talk to 173 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,962 Walter Dan... You know, it just isn't fair, Harriet. 174 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,630 Don't I know it? 175 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,924 When Daddy came home from the movies last night, 176 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,260 Walter and I were sitting on the porch hammock. 177 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,803 Did he find you a nickel? 178 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:15,305 A nickel? 179 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:21,936 Last night cost me a dollar. 180 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:25,023 Oh, but it was worth it, Miss Brooks. 181 00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:26,775 Golly, Walter's so dreamy. 182 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,193 Don't you think so? 183 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:31,279 In class he is, yes. 184 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,949 You know, Harriet, there's something about that barbecue sauce that escapes me. 185 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:38,453 I think I'll... Why, Harriet... What's the matter, Miss Brooks? 186 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:42,081 You've gone south with our roast beef. 187 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:46,294 I'm sorry I ate it all so rapidly, but I was just starved. 188 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,129 Oh, there's Mr. Boynton over there. 189 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:49,589 Oh, yes. 190 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:53,802 When it comes to food, our bashful biologist isn't so bashful. 191 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,763 He's getting himself a tray full, all right. 192 00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,348 Well, don't just sit there, girl. 193 00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:01,643 Make room for those groceries. 194 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:02,393 Hello, Miss Brooks. 195 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:02,852 Hello. 196 00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:03,520 Harriet. 197 00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:04,354 Hi, Mr. Boynton. 198 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:05,730 Would you like to join us? 199 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,232 Oh, if there's enough room. 200 00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:08,233 Oh, there's plenty of room. 201 00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:09,484 Harriet was just leaving. 202 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,611 Oh, but I... Go get some milk, dear. 203 00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:14,280 It'll make you strong. 204 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,618 Then you can wolf down some more of that roast beef tomorrow. 205 00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:21,162 I guess I'd like some milk and fat. 206 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:22,705 I'll see you later, Mr. Boynton. 207 00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:23,581 Bye, Miss Brooks. 208 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:23,998 Bye. 209 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:25,708 Bye, Harriet. 210 00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:29,295 And so a new partnership begins. 211 00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:32,674 Oh, I see we have lamb chops today. 212 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:35,093 Yes, there are certain vitamins found in lamb 213 00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:37,595 that enhance almost any type of balanced diet. 214 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:38,513 So I've heard. 215 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,558 Mr. Boynton, before you start to eat it, would you 216 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:44,727 mind cutting off what you want and leaving the bone? 217 00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:48,147 I saw the cutest little puppy on the way to school and he was terribly hungry. 218 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:50,733 Puppy? 219 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,611 There you go, kidding me again. 220 00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:57,115 What a sense of humor. 221 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,032 Oh, yes. 222 00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,200 Hunger is a scream. 223 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:03,288 I'll try one more subtle hint. 224 00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:04,122 Mr. Boynton? 225 00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:04,581 Yes? 226 00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:06,374 I'm starving, Mr. Boynton. 227 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:06,916 Starving? 228 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:07,458 Yes. 229 00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:11,170 Well, why don't you eat something? 230 00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:12,088 Why don't I? 231 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:16,467 Miss Brooks, I'm against all these diets women inflict upon themselves. 232 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:20,138 Suppose you are a little plump. 233 00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:24,559 He may never get to that second lamb chop. 234 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:28,021 Look, Mr. Boynton, I'm talking about today, now, lunch. 235 00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:31,024 I haven't eaten any because I don't have the money to pay for it. 236 00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:31,524 You don't? 237 00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:32,275 No. 238 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,985 Well, where is all your money? 239 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,446 I'm land poor. 240 00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:38,698 You know, I never borrow money, Mr. Boynton. 241 00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:42,660 I know you don't, Miss Brooks, and I think that's one of your most admirable traits. 242 00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:45,914 Why, many is the time I've been tempted to offer you some financial 243 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:49,250 assistance, but I've always said to myself, don't you dare, Boynton. 244 00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:50,668 Miss Brooks is proud. 245 00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:52,128 Proud and resourceful. 246 00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:53,296 She'll come through. 247 00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:54,422 Somehow. 248 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,300 That's what you said to yourself, huh? 249 00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:58,343 Yes, indeed. 250 00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:02,680 Well, the next time you say that, bite your tongue. 251 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:06,100 Look, Mr. Boynton, it's almost the end of lunch period, 252 00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:09,979 and I'd like a small bite, so that's all I'll put on you. 253 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:11,522 Would you lend me a quarter? 254 00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:12,357 A quarter? 255 00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:13,858 Why, of course, Miss Brooks. 256 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:14,609 Hmm, let's see. 257 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:15,860 Hmm, there you are. 258 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:16,945 Oh, thank you, Mr. Boynton. 259 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:17,862 I'll pay it right back. 260 00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:19,447 Oh, don't worry about paying me back. 261 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:20,448 Anytime tonight will do. 262 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:23,660 Tonight? 263 00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,078 Do we have a date tonight? 264 00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:25,828 Well, didn't I tell you? 265 00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,831 Oh, I have tickets for the band concert on the mall. 266 00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:30,875 I thought we'd spend the afternoon in the park 267 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,127 and then have some dinner and take in the concert. 268 00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:34,295 How does that sound to you? 269 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:37,298 Oh, listen, two bits too. 270 00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:39,008 Oh, it's wonderful, Mr. Boynton. 271 00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:41,052 I'll just go and get a sandwich and I'll be right back. 272 00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:41,552 All right, Miss Brown. 273 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,888 You know, it's almost the end of... 274 00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:46,265 The end of lunch period. 275 00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,059 So it is, Miss Brooks. 276 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:50,687 But Mr. Conklin... Don't forget you're supposed 277 00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:53,439 to take care of the library records after school. 278 00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:54,524 That is correct? 279 00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:58,152 Yes, but I have a very important engagement I'd like to keep this afternoon. 280 00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:01,698 It isn't always what we'd like to do that matters, Miss Brooks. 281 00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:06,285 You volunteered to work in the library, and that's where you spend the afternoon. 282 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:09,497 Unfortunately, standing here chattering, you 283 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:12,667 have incurred a further fine for tardiness. 284 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:13,459 Tardiness? 285 00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:14,293 That will be 25 cents. 286 00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:16,546 Feed the kitty. 287 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:18,923 Oh, well. 288 00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,217 Easy come, easy go. 289 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:26,139 I'm afraid I didn't keep those library cards very neatly, Miss Brooks. 290 00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,266 They're pretty thoroughly scrambled. 291 00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:32,228 If I had any chili sauce, I'd have them for lunch. 292 00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:35,440 They certainly are scrambled, Walter. 293 00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:37,567 What does this cryptic little entry mean? 294 00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:43,489 The Three Musketeers, Alexander Dumas, or Mike Shaughnessy? 295 00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:46,242 Well, The Three Musketeers is the title of a book. 296 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:47,493 That I know. 297 00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:52,749 But why did you write under there Alexander Dumas or Mike Shaughnessy? 298 00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:55,668 Well, frankly, Miss Brooks, I was a little confused. 299 00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:59,130 You see, I couldn't remember whether Alexander Dumas wrote the book and 300 00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:02,759 Shaughnessy took it out, or if Shaughnessy wrote the book and Dumas did. 301 00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:12,560 Believe me, Walter, if Dumas took it out, you'd remember him. 302 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,479 You better let me do these cards. 303 00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,481 You busy yourself with something else. 304 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:17,648 Okay, Miss Brooks. 305 00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:20,068 I'll dust off old Marblehead. 306 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,360 Old Marblehead? 307 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:25,156 Yeah, that's what we call the statue of Caesar, because his head's made of marble. 308 00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:28,493 Of course, even though Mr. Conklin's head isn't 309 00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:32,580 made of marble, we also call him... I know, Walter. 310 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:36,084 Well, you needn't bother to dust off that old marble head. 311 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:39,295 Somebody else in school is planning to dust him off permanently. 312 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:44,300 In fact, Caesar may meet with an accident any time now. 313 00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:45,134 Well, what do you know? 314 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:50,765 The Ides of March. 315 00:14:56,854 --> 00:15:00,316 Or, you know, a person might slip, lose his balance... Gosh, 316 00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:03,861 you accidentally knocked off old Conklin, Mr. Marblehead. 317 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:11,074 318 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:19,001 Quiet, quiet, gentlemen. 319 00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:21,295 What a shocking misfortune. 320 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:24,549 Well, I love that statue of Caesar with its 321 00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:29,137 delicately chiseled features, his fine Roman nose. 322 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,639 Well, you'd better learn to love him without his nose. 323 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:34,350 It just rolled under the desk. 324 00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:36,727 Walter, help me get Peter back on the... Please, please. 325 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:38,813 It was my clumsiness that knocked him off. 326 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:39,981 I'll replace him. 327 00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,650 I get a good, firm grip here. 328 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:46,571 Now, I'll just... Walter. 329 00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,072 Yes, Miss Brooks? 330 00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:51,993 Set Caesar up in the next alley. 331 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:55,663 See, Miss Brooks, Caesar's left ear just fell off and I didn't see where it went. 332 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,206 Well, I'm surprised at you, Walter. 333 00:15:57,331 --> 00:16:02,170 It's right there under his very nose. 334 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:05,548 Miss Brooks, I dropped in to inform you that thanks to 335 00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:08,968 your last contribution, my statue is paid for in full. 336 00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:12,638 It will be delivered tomorrow morning and unveiled at noon. 337 00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:16,100 I should like to keep it undercover, however, for some little... I 338 00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:19,770 should... Denton, Denton, what are you stuffing in that canvas bag? 339 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:25,109 The things that are Caesars, Mr. Cacklin. 340 00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:28,112 His ear and his nose, and also the rest of him. 341 00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,489 You see, I figured I could take him over to the shop, and 342 00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:32,783 if I had a little time, I could patch him up a little. 343 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:33,367 Leave it. 344 00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:34,952 Leave it where it is, Denton. 345 00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:39,248 Miss Brooks, since we have but the one pedestal... Haven't we just? 346 00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:43,961 And since Julius was so brutally damaged... Oh, don't you worry, Mr. Conklin. 347 00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:45,171 He won't be damaged anymore. 348 00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:46,255 I'll see to that. 349 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:49,842 This statue is school property, and if anybody injures it in any way, 350 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:53,387 I'll report him to the student council and the board of education. 351 00:16:55,598 --> 00:17:01,020 Zealous little beagle, isn't he? 352 00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:04,148 Denton, you are dismissed as of right now. 353 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:08,027 Oh, but Mr. Conklin... Go, boy! 354 00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:09,028 Yes, sir. 355 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:09,779 Bye, Miss Brooks. 356 00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,364 Goodbye, boy. 357 00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:15,618 Miss Brooks, if you will excuse me, I'll return in a 358 00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:18,871 moment and personally take care of fixing this statue. 359 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:22,917 Yes, I know you will, Mr. Conklin. 360 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,335 But good. 361 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:26,879 Excuse me, Ms. 362 00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:28,923 Brooks, where should I put this? 363 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:33,803 Just put it on this desk for now, Mr. Boynton. 364 00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:35,721 If it isn't the second Old Marblehead. 365 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:38,432 A pretty good likeness of Mr. Conklin, isn't it? 366 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:42,061 If you like Mr. Conklin's likeness. 367 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:43,562 I didn't think you'd arrive until tomorrow. 368 00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:47,692 I know, but the custodian just told me they wanted a surprise, Mr. Conklin. 369 00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:49,986 Is there any place we could hide it temporarily? 370 00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:51,320 Hide it? 371 00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:54,699 Yes, there is a place we can hide it, Mr. Boynton. 372 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:57,785 Right in this canvas bag. 373 00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,955 But first, you'll have to take out this busted bust. 374 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,331 All right. 375 00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,876 Say, it's Julius Caesar! 376 00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:07,169 His nose is off! 377 00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:07,920 And his ears! 378 00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:11,299 Mr. Boynton, we haven't any time to cut up touches with Julius! 379 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:14,260 Come and help me get Mr. Conklin's statue into the bag! 380 00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:15,303 Right! 381 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,012 There we are! 382 00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:18,389 Now, what do we do with Julius? 383 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:21,892 Well, we'd better take him over to the shop, and get him fixed up the best we can! 384 00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:24,895 He's just got to appear on that pedestal! 385 00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:25,730 Pedestal? 386 00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:27,315 Well, I don't understand, Miss Brooks. 387 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,442 Well, I'll try and explain it on the way over. 388 00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:33,112 You see, I was assigned to work in this library, and if I have to look at a statue all day, 389 00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:36,824 I want to be sure that it's the kind of statue that I can look at without blowing my top. 390 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,002 Miss Brooks? 391 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,754 Miss Brooks? 392 00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:51,756 Oh, must have stepped out for a moment. 393 00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:54,050 Well, the more the better. 394 00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:59,764 Ah, there's old Marblehead still in the canvas bag. 395 00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:05,144 Now I'll take this little mallet and commence. 396 00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:11,859 Friends, Romans, countrymen. 397 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:16,655 I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. 398 00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:22,620 Well, Mr. Conklin, what are you doing? 399 00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:25,915 Well, that should be obvious even to you, Miss Brooks. 400 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,208 Yes. 401 00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:31,045 Well, Mr. Conklin, there's something I feel you should know. 402 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,839 Well, all right, you explain it to me, but in the 403 00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:36,759 meantime, I'll continue with the business at hand. 404 00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:37,176 Mm-hmm. 405 00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:37,551 Well... 406 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:41,263 As you know, Mr. Conklin, there are certain very urgent matters 407 00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:44,683 that should be treated with a certain amount of urgency. 408 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:56,695 Well, normally I would be very loathe to interrupt what seems to be 409 00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:03,619 merits your immediate attention, sir. 410 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,287 What is it, Miss Brooks? 411 00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:09,041 Well, if it were something trivial, like being disgruntled over having to work in the library, 412 00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:12,628 instead of going on a date with Mr. Boyden, who is now sitting in the park by himself, 413 00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:22,596 I would hesitate to bother you, sir, but... What are you driving at, Miss Brooks? 414 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,141 Well, the point I'm trying to make, Mr. Conlon, is 415 00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:27,768 that I have absolutely no hard feelings toward you. 416 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,728 And I trust you have none toward me? 417 00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:34,692 None whatsoever. 418 00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,652 Good. 419 00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:39,280 I would suggest, sir, that you open the bag now. 420 00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:41,031 Open the bag? 421 00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:41,782 Yes. 422 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:46,787 You see, I'm afraid you'll find you've pulverized the wrong statue. 423 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:52,209 Your bust arrived earlier, and hoping to surprise you, we put it in that bag. 424 00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:53,836 What? 425 00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:58,215 I'm in there! 426 00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:01,886 Julius is over in the shop having his nose put back on. 427 00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:04,054 But Miss Brooks, you just stood there! 428 00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:08,559 All the time I was hammering, you couldn't leave when you might! 429 00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:11,854 Remember your blood pressure, sir. 430 00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:13,105 What am I going to do? 431 00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:16,275 What am I going to do when the Board of Education comes to take inventory? 432 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,943 What are we going to put on that pedestal? 433 00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:19,653 Well, now, calm down, Mr. Conklin. 434 00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:23,073 I just found it'll only cost $15 to repair Caesar. 435 00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:24,116 $15? 436 00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:28,245 And I've thought of the most delightful way to collect the money. 437 00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:28,871 Really? 438 00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:30,122 How, Miss Brooks? 439 00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:31,707 Feed the kitty, sir. 440 00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:34,376 Feed the kitty. 440 00:21:35,305 --> 00:22:35,398 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org