"Impractical Jokers" Customer Disservice

1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 2 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,013 Let's just get this started. 3 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,548 Are you kidding me? 4 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:17,882 Who's a good cat? 5 00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:30,228 Hi, I'm joseph fatone, 6 00:00:30,430 --> 00:00:33,031 And we're here at the contra studios conducting 7 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,567 A very serious fake documentary. 8 00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:37,235 "that's right. 9 00:00:37,437 --> 00:00:38,437 And we'll be the ones getting interviewed 10 00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:41,306 Along with another complete stranger." 11 00:00:41,308 --> 00:00:44,576 Which won't be easy because we'll be forcing each other 12 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:47,912 To give ridiculous answers to every question. 13 00:00:48,114 --> 00:00:49,982 All we've got to do is get through the interview 14 00:00:49,984 --> 00:00:51,650 Without laughing. 15 00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:54,653 And whoever laughs the most loses. 16 00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:55,921 I'm done with this shit. 17 00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:01,193 Murr: Guys, you know our dear friend, joey fatone. 18 00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:02,661 Maybe you know him from, of course, 19 00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:04,529 Nsync, from broadway, from tv. 20 00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:06,398 Sal: Joe, this is your first time back on the show 21 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,333 Since we punished you. 22 00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:09,601 Can we just get one more round of applause for this man 23 00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:10,735 For what we did to him? 24 00:01:10,937 --> 00:01:12,604 -Yeah. Oh, yes. -I mean... 25 00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:13,738 Thank you. 26 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:14,739 What's the song? 27 00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:34,826 Here you go, q. This lovely lady, 28 00:01:34,829 --> 00:01:36,028 We just pulled her off the street. 29 00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:37,696 She was walking by and said, 30 00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:39,297 "come on in for a '90s nostalgia interview." 31 00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:40,965 How you doing? 32 00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:42,901 Yeah, I'm kind of not dressed for tv, but all right. 33 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,369 All right, here we go. 34 00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:46,438 What are the three things you had in childhood 35 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:47,840 That aren't around today? 36 00:01:48,042 --> 00:01:49,374 Poochie. 37 00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,443 Okay. You remember magic sand? 38 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,378 Yes. Sea monkeys. 39 00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:55,113 I don't see a lot of sea monkeys anymore around. 40 00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:56,314 Here's the next question. 41 00:01:56,516 --> 00:01:58,182 If your life flashed before your eyes, 42 00:01:58,185 --> 00:02:00,785 Who are the three people you would see? 43 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,320 You can go first on that one. 44 00:02:02,522 --> 00:02:04,188 Murr: "oh, well. Dad in his suit." 45 00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:05,790 Uh, all right, dad in his suit. 46 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,191 "mom wearing pearls." 47 00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:08,793 My mom wearing pearls. 48 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,662 "and joe chill with a smoking gun." 49 00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:16,268 And, uh, joe chill with a smoking gun. Yeah. 50 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:17,869 Who's joe -- joe chill? 51 00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:19,137 He was -- he was hanging around 52 00:02:19,339 --> 00:02:23,075 The monarch theatre and shot batman's parents. 53 00:02:23,077 --> 00:02:24,342 Oh, okay. Yeah. 54 00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:26,678 Uh, here's another one. 55 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:27,946 Who was your first crush? 56 00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:30,015 "joe chill." "joe chill." 57 00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:33,551 There you go. There's one. 58 00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:34,753 Kevin hess. 59 00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:36,888 Gotcha. All right. Who was your first crush? 60 00:02:36,891 --> 00:02:37,889 Joe chill. 61 00:02:39,894 --> 00:02:42,227 Murr: "his smoking hot gun." 62 00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:44,096 Smoking hot gun. 63 00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:47,232 Again, you know, dc comics is fantastic. 64 00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:48,566 marvel's better. 65 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:50,302 What's that? Marvel's better than dc? 66 00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:53,105 Ooh. She doesn't know who she's talking to. 67 00:02:53,107 --> 00:02:54,706 Iron man is the jam. 68 00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,575 Well, he was a c-list character 69 00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,577 Until they made that movie, yeah. 70 00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:01,045 I just -- also, superman could beat up iron man pretty easily. 71 00:03:01,047 --> 00:03:03,047 -Yeah. I think he can. -Possibly. 72 00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:06,250 -I mean, with the suit. 73 00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:08,052 All right, let's do the next question. 74 00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:09,321 What's something you enjoyed doing with your parent 75 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:10,588 When you were a kid? 76 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:13,458 "oh, squirrel launches at the quarry." 77 00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:15,761 Ooh. Squirrel launches at the quarry. 78 00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,263 They were fine. Oh, they were -- okay. 79 00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:21,466 Yeah. I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt the squirrels. 80 00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:22,400 Murr: "but I'll launch them." 81 00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:23,802 But I'll launch them. 82 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:26,939 God, he's stone cold. 83 00:03:27,141 --> 00:03:28,873 All right, here's the next question. 84 00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:31,143 Close your eyes and describe your childhood bedroom. 85 00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:33,411 "cold, dark cave." 86 00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:35,079 Woman: Lots of toys. More books. 87 00:03:35,081 --> 00:03:36,748 "I hung upside-down." 88 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,550 I got the single bed. 89 00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:39,818 Nice. 90 00:03:41,155 --> 00:03:43,822 Cold. Dark. 91 00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:48,226 I'm hanging upside-down. 92 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,494 He's batman. 93 00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:53,231 Butler brings in -- that's a laugh. 94 00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:55,299 What do you do on Saturday mornings growing up? 95 00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:56,835 Murr: "I eat some cinnamon toast crunch." 96 00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:58,970 So, like, I'd eat cinnamon toast crunch. 97 00:03:58,973 --> 00:04:00,172 "watch 'ninja turtles.'" 98 00:04:00,174 --> 00:04:01,773 I'd watch "ninja turtles." 99 00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:03,175 "and then go blast the old hag on the block 100 00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:04,977 With a super soaker." 101 00:04:05,179 --> 00:04:07,111 And then I'd just go blast the old hag up the block 102 00:04:07,113 --> 00:04:10,114 With a super soaker, man, you know? 103 00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:12,050 Okay. 104 00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:13,185 Murr: "you know, one of the biggest regrets in my life..." 105 00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:14,452 One of the biggest regrets of my life... 106 00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:15,453 "...Is that we never got to launch 107 00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:16,655 The old hag over the quarry." 108 00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,056 ...Is that we never got to launch 109 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,858 The old hag over the quarry. 110 00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:23,862 "not even iron man can save me now." 111 00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,597 But thens superman would fly in and save her 112 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,866 Because he can do that. 113 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,203 What do you mean? Are you -- do you live near a quarry? 114 00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,007 Here we go. 115 00:04:35,209 --> 00:04:36,474 Joey: So first question is, 116 00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:37,609 Is what was your favorite holiday gift 117 00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,343 You received as a child? 118 00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:41,012 It's actually a laptop. Yeah. 119 00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:42,614 I need you guys to take a look at this. 120 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,416 Oh, wow. 121 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,018 And kind of tell me what goes through your mind 122 00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:47,485 When you see something -- is it nostalgic? 123 00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:48,953 Do you remember anything from trains? 124 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,088 Anything from your childhood? 125 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,690 "I always fantasized..." 126 00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:53,091 I always fantasized... 127 00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,226 "...About being a tunnel." 128 00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:55,627 ...About being, like, a tunnel. 129 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:58,830 "like, laying down, the tracks go in my mouth." 130 00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:02,034 Laying down, the tracks go in my mouth. 131 00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:03,835 "and then they come out my backside." 132 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:06,304 And then they come out the -- the back side, right? 133 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,972 "and I'm a tunnel." 134 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,107 And I'm -- I'm the tunnel. 135 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,508 Choo-choo, choo-choo. 136 00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:12,911 "I just always wanted them to run a train into my mouth." 137 00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:14,246 I just -- 138 00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:15,647 Sal: Okay. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. 139 00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:17,049 So I'm reacting. I shouldn't react. 140 00:05:17,251 --> 00:05:18,983 I shouldn't react. 141 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:26,991 What would 16-year-old you be surprised to learn about now? 142 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:30,128 "I would say that sister marie was right." 143 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,330 I would say that sister marie is right. 144 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,666 "doing that too often will make your hair fall out." 145 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:38,470 Doing that too often will make your hair fall out. 146 00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:40,004 Not blind? I thought it was go blind. 147 00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:41,205 Joey: Yeah, I thought it was blind. 148 00:05:41,207 --> 00:05:43,007 Well, I am wearing glasses too. 149 00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:47,812 You know. 150 00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:49,547 Take a look. Tell me what goes through 151 00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:51,015 Your mind when you see this. 152 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,617 Any flashbacks of anything? 153 00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:54,486 Nice. Retro. 154 00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,354 That's actually from the time that it should be. 155 00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:58,356 I want you to look at her through the -- 156 00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:00,558 "smile. You're stuck in my basement." 157 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:04,362 Smile. You're stuck in my basement. 158 00:06:04,564 --> 00:06:06,831 Right? You're not going anywhere. 159 00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:07,899 You're stuck in my basement. 160 00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:09,100 You know what? Serial killers. 161 00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:10,835 Yeah. It's like these are 162 00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:12,236 The trope of the '80s horror movies, right? 163 00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:13,638 You know what? You're right. 164 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,308 Like, you know, you're there in the basement, emaciated. 165 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:20,111 There's the basket. There's the lotion. 166 00:06:20,114 --> 00:06:21,980 You've got to put that on or you get the hose again. 167 00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:24,582 Okay. 168 00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:28,853 You know, I tuck my genitals back, polaroid, the pictures, 169 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,656 You know, the doorbell rings. 170 00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:33,858 Clarice starling's there. Yeah. 171 00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:37,929 She's looking for jame gumb. 172 00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:40,332 You know, "she's a big fat lady," you know. 173 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,269 "precious -- get the hose again." 174 00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:48,807 Joey: How you doing? 175 00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:50,274 Murr: All right, let's jump into it. 176 00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:51,943 Last time we played this game, 177 00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:54,012 We had a pipe dripping on sal's shoulder. 178 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,479 Yes. Annoying him. 179 00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:56,814 That was very good work that you did, man. 180 00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,950 We'll see what happens today. 181 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:01,152 What are the three things you had in your childhood 182 00:07:01,155 --> 00:07:02,754 That aren't around today? 183 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:03,955 Ooh. Okay. 184 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,557 Lucy, lightly hit him. 185 00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:09,093 Well, I would say, like -- oh, I had the ewok village. 186 00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:11,830 Joey: Okay. Remember that? Ewok village for the "star wars" characters. 187 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:18,703 I have a mirror -- lucy with a mirror 188 00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:20,839 Reflecting a spotlight right in his eyeballs. 189 00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,506 He's going to be so annoyed after a minute. 190 00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:24,042 Watch. 191 00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:25,309 So I'm going to hand you this. 192 00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:26,444 What are you feeling? What does it say? 193 00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:27,645 Do you remember this? 194 00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:29,447 Have you seen anything like this? 195 00:07:29,649 --> 00:07:31,049 Definitely I think was just a little bit before me. 196 00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:32,316 The first one I got of these, 197 00:07:32,518 --> 00:07:33,918 It didn't even have the tape cassette. 198 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,121 "I bet backstreet sold a lot of these, right, jerry?" 199 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:42,260 Um... 200 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:45,263 Murr: Look at fatone. Put your paper down, fatone. 201 00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:46,931 We got fatone. 202 00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:48,266 I know these were popular back then, though. 203 00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,535 Really popular -- like, if you got one -- 204 00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:53,738 I bet backstreet sold -- helped sell a lot of these, jerry. 205 00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:55,006 They probably did. 206 00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:56,741 Look at him. 207 00:07:58,678 --> 00:08:00,878 Yeah. Good job holding it together, sal. 208 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,547 Are there any games you played as a child that you miss? 209 00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:03,948 Lucy, hit him. 210 00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:06,484 Definitely I have nostalgic memories of playing, 211 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,221 Like "roller coaster tycoon" and, like -- 212 00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:11,823 I don't even, like -- 213 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,491 Were there any games 214 00:08:13,693 --> 00:08:15,293 You played as a child that you miss? 215 00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,829 "every day was a game of life or death growing up." 216 00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:20,298 Every day was a game of life or death growing up. 217 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,767 "growing up a quarter latino, white presenting." 218 00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:24,969 Growing up a quarter latino, white presenting. 219 00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:27,572 Okay. All right. 220 00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:30,041 What would 16-year-old you be surprised 221 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,575 To learn about you now? 222 00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,311 Murr: "that I have an amazing wife..." 223 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,446 I have an amazing wife. 224 00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:35,579 "...Who's a female boss." 225 00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:36,648 She's a female boss. 226 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,650 "...Has dsls, and is a great mom." 227 00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:41,519 She has, uh -- she has dsls and she's a great mom. 228 00:08:43,457 --> 00:08:44,722 Dsls. 229 00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:45,924 So does she have good internet hookups? 230 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,191 Is that what you're saying? 231 00:08:47,393 --> 00:08:49,393 "google it, jerry. It's lips." 232 00:08:56,037 --> 00:08:56,902 Joey: So does she have good internet hookups? 233 00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:58,103 Is that what you're saying? 234 00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:00,039 "google it, jerry. It's lips." 235 00:09:05,246 --> 00:09:06,245 I would google it, jerry. 236 00:09:06,247 --> 00:09:08,313 It means lips. 237 00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:13,252 That's a laugh. Hit him, hit him, hit him. 238 00:09:13,454 --> 00:09:15,787 I didn't -- I was trying to be -- 239 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:18,457 I never said those words out loud, but I -- what? 240 00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:23,662 Sorry. I'm flustered. 241 00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,330 Can you just hit him right in the eye? 242 00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:28,133 Man: I mean, I feel like I could go, 243 00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,469 Like, a few different ways with it. 244 00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,337 He's laughing. He's laughing. 245 00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:34,139 Joey mcintyre is married. 246 00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:36,541 You know, like, that was the -- 247 00:09:36,544 --> 00:09:39,144 So even today, like -- 248 00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,747 Sal, you're just one big laugh at this point. 249 00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:43,215 Is there an issue with lighting in here or...? 250 00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:49,020 Narrator: Looks like sal got blindsided. 251 00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:51,690 So he's first up on the loser board. 252 00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:56,027 Today we're at the olly olly market having an over-the-top 253 00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:57,963 Emotional conversation on our cellphones 254 00:09:57,965 --> 00:09:59,831 In front of another customer. 255 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,232 After we hang up, we'll be given the reason 256 00:10:01,235 --> 00:10:02,834 Why we're so upset. 257 00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:04,436 The goal is to get the person next to you 258 00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:06,705 To agree that you did not overreact. 259 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:09,508 If they say you overreacted, you lose. 260 00:10:09,510 --> 00:10:10,776 Zoh, what? 261 00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:15,580 The key here is to get really riled up. 262 00:10:15,583 --> 00:10:17,116 I got something for you 263 00:10:17,118 --> 00:10:18,984 That's really deserving of the anger 264 00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:21,787 That you're about to really put out in the world. 265 00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:23,455 All right, I'm getting into the head space. 266 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,324 Murr, talk a little more. 267 00:10:25,526 --> 00:10:28,260 Hey, sal, just want to check in and say hi, buddy. 268 00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:29,595 I don't know if you want to -- want to hang out 269 00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:30,862 Maybe this weekend? 270 00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:35,600 Here we go. 271 00:10:35,603 --> 00:10:37,602 I'm gonna get -- I'm gonna get my food. 272 00:10:37,605 --> 00:10:40,272 I'm just going to leave because I can't take -- I -- 273 00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:41,406 I can't deal with this. 274 00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:43,074 Not in public. 275 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:45,210 I'm going to give him a positive 276 00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:47,613 And we'll see how he turns it into a negative. 277 00:10:49,150 --> 00:10:51,750 Because it's hard for me to process right now 278 00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:54,285 In a general sense, let alone in public. 279 00:10:54,288 --> 00:10:55,621 She's in, she's in. 280 00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:58,357 Oh, the tears, the tears. 281 00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:01,026 I'll talk to you about it later then. 282 00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:04,496 We'll finish it later. 283 00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:07,098 I just -- goodbye. I'll talk later. 284 00:11:10,571 --> 00:11:12,637 Yeah. It... 285 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:14,906 "turns out I'm more puerto rican than I thought." 286 00:11:19,380 --> 00:11:21,313 Turns out I'm more puerto rican than I thought. 287 00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:24,483 And... 288 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,554 It's a lot to take in. 289 00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:33,058 Because I'm finding out 290 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:35,160 That I'm something different than I thought. 291 00:11:36,597 --> 00:11:38,730 A quarter. Yeah. 292 00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:40,465 "I'm a third puerto rican." 293 00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:45,136 I thought my grandfather was cuban, but he's, uh -- 294 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:46,938 He's half cuban, half puerto rican. 295 00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:48,407 So now -- 296 00:11:48,609 --> 00:11:50,876 -You're cuban? -Yeah. 297 00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:52,277 I'm less cuban now than I thought 298 00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:53,545 And more puerto rican. 299 00:11:58,351 --> 00:11:59,885 I just -- I thought I was 25%. 300 00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:02,488 Now it turns out I'm 33%. 301 00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:05,824 When I applied for student loans, 302 00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:07,526 I could have checked that box. That could have been helpful. 303 00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:12,030 Yeah. 304 00:12:12,033 --> 00:12:13,465 She just called you old, bro. 305 00:12:14,702 --> 00:12:16,902 "puerto rico." 306 00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,042 Puerto rico. 307 00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:31,583 No, like the consulate. 308 00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,252 You think I overreacted? 309 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:36,788 Should I just <i>tranquilo, papí?</i> 310 00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,857 b 311 00:12:42,663 --> 00:12:45,864 Here he goes. Ring, ring, mother 312 00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:48,033 Oh, geez. Who's calling me now? 313 00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:53,004 Hello? Yeah. 314 00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:54,273 Are you serious right now? 315 00:12:54,475 --> 00:12:57,008 It's fun to watch the acting going on. 316 00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,611 I'm at the -- I'm at the -- the food -- 317 00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:00,812 The food court. 318 00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:02,614 Olly olly market. Olly olly. 319 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:04,149 I said I was going to olly olly! 320 00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:05,684 I'm at olly olly. Why do you have to call me? 321 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,352 I said I was coming here 322 00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:09,354 And you're calling me with this again? 323 00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:12,624 I can't even believe what you're saying to me right now. 324 00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:15,226 You drive me wild. Are you dead serious? 325 00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,296 You swear on your mother's life? 326 00:13:17,498 --> 00:13:18,563 He's looking, he's looking. 327 00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,632 I can't believe this. 328 00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:22,233 Okay, bye. 329 00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:24,503 "turns out the saxophone is a woodwind." 330 00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:30,442 Turns out -- turns out the saxophone is a woodwind. 331 00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:34,980 I didn't even know that. I can't believe it. 332 00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:37,516 I didn't know it was a woodwind. I thought it was brass. 333 00:13:37,518 --> 00:13:39,250 I'm losing my mind here, man. 334 00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:40,319 "I teach music." 335 00:13:40,521 --> 00:13:42,453 I teach music. 336 00:13:42,456 --> 00:13:45,256 I just found out I've been teaching it wrong for years now. 337 00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:46,859 I'm losing my mind, man. 338 00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:51,196 Years. Did I overreact? 339 00:13:53,534 --> 00:13:54,733 Did I? 340 00:13:54,735 --> 00:13:56,368 He's leaning you did. 341 00:13:57,404 --> 00:14:01,139 That's crazy. 342 00:14:01,142 --> 00:14:02,674 You knew it was a woodwind? 343 00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:05,811 How are you so calm? 344 00:14:07,548 --> 00:14:10,081 Me too. 345 00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:11,416 Murr, you're just a crazy person 346 00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:13,952 That everybody's hoping walks away. Yeah. 347 00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:15,087 chill. 348 00:14:16,557 --> 00:14:19,090 Just when things upset me, I don't get chill. 349 00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,425 chill. 350 00:14:24,765 --> 00:14:28,667 Hey. What's up, sally? What's going on, sals? 351 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,302 It sounds weird. He looked. 352 00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:32,971 He's already looking. 353 00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:35,306 What do you mean? No, no, that's not true. 354 00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:36,975 That's not true. 355 00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:38,243 What, are you out of your mind? 356 00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:39,845 That's not true. That's not happening. 357 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:43,114 Do not -- do -- do not say that shit to me. 358 00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:44,649 No, no, no, no, no. 359 00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:46,651 If you're not serious about it, then don't say it. 360 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,319 All right, he's listening. He's definitely listening. 361 00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:51,122 'cause if you piece of shit -- 'cause if you -- 362 00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:52,391 If you're kidding about this, 363 00:14:52,593 --> 00:14:54,192 It's going to be the end of everything. 364 00:14:54,195 --> 00:14:56,661 Tell me before you even answer the question 365 00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:58,397 That you know I'm being serious right now. 366 00:14:58,599 --> 00:15:00,399 Wow. He's really worked up. 367 00:15:00,401 --> 00:15:04,669 Your mother. You 368 00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:06,337 Okay? 369 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:07,806 Yeah, that's the end of that 370 00:15:07,808 --> 00:15:10,008 Don't ever do that again. 371 00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:12,411 Mother god damn it! 372 00:15:12,613 --> 00:15:14,279 Look at him. Look at him! Look at him! 373 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:16,014 "I gotta be up at 9:30 tomorrow morning." 374 00:15:22,856 --> 00:15:24,055 Sal: "I gotta be up at 9:30 tomorrow morning." 375 00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:25,923 I didn't mean to do that. I'm sorry. 376 00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:27,525 I gotta be up at 9:30 tomorrow morning. 377 00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:32,597 I'm sorry about that, brother. 378 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:34,065 I'm sorry. I'm just not -- 379 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,134 I'm not a morning person, you know what I'm saying? 380 00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:38,536 I usually, like, get up around the crack of noon. 381 00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,938 And this -- this piece of garbage... 382 00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,073 He doesn't have to be out at 9:30. 383 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,742 He has to be up at 930. 384 00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:47,212 I gotta be up at 9:30. 385 00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:48,313 It's early, right? 386 00:15:50,884 --> 00:15:52,550 -Excuse you? -Yeah. 387 00:15:52,752 --> 00:15:54,119 You get up at what time? 388 00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:57,589 What the does the world look like at 7:00 a.M.? 389 00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:00,959 Yeah, nothing good. That's my point. 390 00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:03,295 They say nothing good happens before 10:00 a.M. 391 00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:06,031 "that was my grandmother." 392 00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:07,499 And now my grandmother's calling me, 393 00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,501 Telling me I gotta to be up at 9:30? 394 00:16:11,839 --> 00:16:13,672 You don't think I overreacted, do you? 395 00:16:14,842 --> 00:16:15,707 Yeah. 396 00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:19,044 All right, well, let me call her back. 397 00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:20,712 I should probably apologize for telling my grandmother 398 00:16:20,914 --> 00:16:21,979 To go herself. 399 00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,384 Narrator: All the guys flipped their lids for nothing, 400 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:29,521 Making sal tonight's big loser. 401 00:16:29,523 --> 00:16:31,389 All right, sal, you've lost, 402 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,992 So today you're working as a manager here at foodtown. 403 00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:35,660 Oh, and congratulations, buddy. 404 00:16:35,663 --> 00:16:37,262 You just got a big promotion. 405 00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:38,730 You're in charge of customer service 406 00:16:38,732 --> 00:16:40,932 At the self-checkout lane. 407 00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:42,600 But since this is a punishment, 408 00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:44,602 You'll be doing the customers a disservice because today, 409 00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:47,004 The customer is always wrong. 410 00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:51,743 All right, buddy. 411 00:16:51,745 --> 00:16:55,213 Yeah, that's the wall of certified scumbags. 412 00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:56,948 Sal: I guess these are people that have been banned. 413 00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:58,550 Correct. Correct. Murr: Yeah. 414 00:16:58,752 --> 00:16:59,551 I bet you you're going to ban a few more 415 00:16:59,753 --> 00:17:00,686 By the end of the day. 416 00:17:00,888 --> 00:17:02,820 Yeah. See all those thumbtacks there, buddy? 417 00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:04,756 You're gonna be using some. 418 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,561 So, buddy, the personality we want you to have today is like, 419 00:17:09,563 --> 00:17:11,229 You know the guy that's always -- 420 00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:12,830 He walks into a situation in a tizzy already? 421 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,900 He's already worked up, always annoyed. 422 00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:16,434 You want me to be myself? 423 00:17:18,305 --> 00:17:19,637 There's something wrong. 424 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,573 -Oh, what happened? -Uh-oh. 425 00:17:21,575 --> 00:17:23,308 -Oh, boy. -Let's see. "assistance needed. 426 00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:24,976 Please wait. Checking item weight." 427 00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:26,778 What the hell do you need that for? 428 00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:28,714 "I knew this would happen. 429 00:17:28,916 --> 00:17:30,916 I see you scanning and your whole approach was<i>sciangato."</i> 430 00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:32,650 Yeah. 431 00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:33,851 You went over the weight limit. 432 00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:35,052 I kind of thought it might happen 433 00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:36,454 Because I saw you scanning from over there. 434 00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:38,557 Your whole approach with<i>sciangato.</i> 435 00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:43,995 "I'm like, 'duh, duh.' 436 00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:46,197 And you're like, 'duh, duh.'" 437 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:50,802 Look at us, 'cause I'm like, "duh, duh, duh, duh," 438 00:17:50,804 --> 00:17:52,137 And then you're like, "dah, dah, dah, dah." 439 00:17:55,008 --> 00:17:56,141 We wrote something really long. 440 00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:58,075 I'm just going to read it, okay? 441 00:17:58,078 --> 00:17:59,410 "you can digitize a physical coupon." 442 00:17:59,413 --> 00:18:01,079 Okay. Well, you know, just so you know, 443 00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:02,680 You can digitize a physical coupon. 444 00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:03,949 "but you can't use a digital coupon physically..." 445 00:18:03,951 --> 00:18:05,883 But you can't use a digital coupon physically. 446 00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:07,152 Murr and sal: ...If the e-mail attached to your membership rewards account 447 00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:10,622 Has not been electronically verified. 448 00:18:10,824 --> 00:18:12,890 "...At least 45 hours in advance..." ...At least 48 hours in advance. 449 00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:15,293 Murr and sal: ...Of making a purchase that meets the minimum requirement 450 00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:18,964 Priced at $2 per pound or higher... 451 00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,366 ...Of 5 pounds per qualifying item... 452 00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:26,904 ...Which the mandatory bottle deposit has been applied. 453 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,373 Got it. 454 00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:30,241 "I've been sal," and then moonwalk away. 455 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:36,014 I -- I've been sal, the store assistant manager. 456 00:18:39,052 --> 00:18:41,519 Murr: Keep going right down right down an aisle. 457 00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:45,490 Right down an aisle. There he goes. 458 00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,394 What is that? She's tired. 459 00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:52,129 She doesn't know what just happened. 460 00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:54,532 Sal, help this lady. 461 00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:55,667 Hey, how are you doing? 462 00:18:55,669 --> 00:18:56,734 <i>Please wait for assistance.</i> 463 00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:58,336 Says verify my bag. 464 00:18:58,338 --> 00:18:59,737 "attendant will verify your bags." 465 00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:01,006 Where's your bag? 466 00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:02,740 "I guess I'm the attendant." 467 00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:04,609 Okay. I guess I'm the attendant. 468 00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:06,944 <i>Please scan your first item.</i> 469 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,949 "first day on earth, hon?" 470 00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:15,553 "I'm using my own bag." 471 00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:16,621 Yes, this is my bag. 472 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,890 Okay. First day on earth, hon? 473 00:19:19,092 --> 00:19:20,625 Murr: Oh! 474 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,027 It's the machine. 475 00:19:22,029 --> 00:19:23,829 No, I know. 476 00:19:24,031 --> 00:19:25,630 Where is the thing? Like, usually there's like... 477 00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:26,898 "what are you looking for now?" 478 00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:28,266 What are you looking for now? 479 00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:32,837 Are you being helpful or you're being sarcastic? 480 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,240 "ma'am, you are clearly high on bath salts." 481 00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:39,478 Murr: It is a punishment, bud. 482 00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:44,749 Sal: What are you looking for now? 483 00:19:44,751 --> 00:19:47,552 Are you being helpful or you're being sarcastic? 484 00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:49,086 Ohh. 485 00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:51,222 "ma'am, you are clearly high on bath salts. 486 00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,963 Murr: It is a punishment, bud. 487 00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:00,965 Ma'am. Yes. I'm listening. 488 00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:03,167 You're clearly high on bath salts. 489 00:20:03,170 --> 00:20:05,502 Excuse me? What's that? 490 00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:06,704 What did you say? 491 00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:07,839 What are you getting? Nectarines? 492 00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:14,179 Usually? 493 00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:17,048 <i>Unexpected item</i> <i>in bagging area.</i> 494 00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:19,984 "so me and the robot are wrong. Gotcha." 495 00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,389 So what we're saying is myself 496 00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:26,391 And the robot are incorrect. 497 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:27,725 You're fine. 498 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,326 Yes. Okay. 499 00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:30,728 <i>Unexpected item</i> <i>in bagging area.</i> 500 00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:31,930 Oh! 501 00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:34,466 <i>Please wait.</i> 502 00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:37,668 Okay. Sal, yeah, this guy wants you to be -- 503 00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:39,737 I want you to really become friends with him 504 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:43,741 And then end it all with just stamping banned on his receipt. 505 00:20:43,943 --> 00:20:45,543 Take the polaroid over with you too. 506 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,344 <i>$3.79.</i> 507 00:20:47,546 --> 00:20:49,013 -You all set? -Yep. 508 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,615 Oh, can I just see that one second? 509 00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:52,149 -I just got to stamp. -Yeah, sure. 510 00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:54,886 Thank you. Here we go, buddy. 511 00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:57,154 Is this is like a new policy? What's that? 512 00:20:57,356 --> 00:20:58,689 -Take his picture. -The stamp, is that new? 513 00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:00,925 The snap is new, yeah. 514 00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:04,161 oh, they banned you, yeah. 515 00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:05,330 Put it right up on the wall. 516 00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:10,034 Yeah, I got to put it up on the wall here. 517 00:21:10,236 --> 00:21:14,005 Oh, the scumbag wall. Oh! Yes! 518 00:21:17,376 --> 00:21:18,243 "that's me." 519 00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:19,910 Yes. Sal. Sal? 520 00:21:19,913 --> 00:21:21,646 Yeah. Just take a step back. 521 00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:23,581 Yes, yes. Look at the billboard. 522 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:26,150 It looks like you're a certified scumbag. 523 00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:31,189 This -- this is not here. This is -- 524 00:21:32,258 --> 00:21:33,724 Sal, clearly don't destroy it. 525 00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:37,662 I'm gonna shred it. 526 00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:47,738 Okay. 527 00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:49,807 Sal, take another photo of him. 528 00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:51,342 I -- the hostil-- 529 00:21:51,344 --> 00:21:53,278 It's a lot of hostility, so I just -- 530 00:21:55,414 --> 00:21:57,014 Hand him that photo and take another one. 531 00:21:57,216 --> 00:21:58,282 The second picture that you just took. 532 00:21:58,285 --> 00:22:00,485 All right. Sorry, sir. 533 00:22:00,687 --> 00:22:02,753 I need at least one photo. 534 00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:04,889 You know, this guy at the self-service counter 535 00:22:05,091 --> 00:22:06,491 Right there, buddy, 536 00:22:06,693 --> 00:22:08,025 Does that guy have more than 20 items? 537 00:22:08,027 --> 00:22:09,494 Count everything out loud. 538 00:22:09,696 --> 00:22:11,095 He's definitely over the limit. 539 00:22:11,297 --> 00:22:13,498 Six. 540 00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:14,832 <i>$5.09.</i> 541 00:22:15,034 --> 00:22:16,167 Seven. 542 00:22:16,169 --> 00:22:18,035 <i>11 cents savings.</i> 543 00:22:18,237 --> 00:22:20,304 13. 13. 544 00:22:20,307 --> 00:22:21,506 16. 545 00:22:24,377 --> 00:22:25,576 17. 546 00:22:25,578 --> 00:22:28,045 Start getting real, like, upset now. 547 00:22:28,247 --> 00:22:30,515 18. 548 00:22:30,717 --> 00:22:33,117 This is so intimidating. 549 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,653 19. 550 00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:39,724 Sal, hit number 20 and on 21, just go, "uh-oh." 551 00:22:41,661 --> 00:22:44,862 Uh-oh. That's 21. 552 00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:47,598 And I'm not even counting that. 553 00:22:52,805 --> 00:22:56,874 This is 22, and I can't even weigh it now. 554 00:22:57,076 --> 00:22:59,944 Because -- you confiscated it orally. 555 00:23:00,146 --> 00:23:02,079 Yeah. 556 00:23:02,081 --> 00:23:04,081 "I like you. I don't want to see you on the wall." 557 00:23:04,083 --> 00:23:05,816 I like you. I don't want to see you on the wall. 558 00:23:06,018 --> 00:23:07,552 Okay. Okay. 559 00:23:07,754 --> 00:23:10,287 I just don't know what to do about the banana. 560 00:23:10,489 --> 00:23:12,089 That was in the cart when I got it. 561 00:23:12,291 --> 00:23:13,490 Oh, it was just a banana peel in the cart? 562 00:23:13,692 --> 00:23:14,825 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 563 00:23:15,027 --> 00:23:17,294 Sal, go pin the banana peel to the wall of scumbags. 564 00:23:17,296 --> 00:23:20,231 So if I were to check the security footage, 565 00:23:20,233 --> 00:23:23,901 I wouldn't see you hoofing down this banana. 566 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:26,571 Correct. 567 00:23:26,773 --> 00:23:29,574 Sal, go behind the counter and fake walk down steps. 568 00:23:29,576 --> 00:23:31,842 I'll -- I'll have a quick check, 569 00:23:32,044 --> 00:23:33,310 And I'll be back in a couple of seconds. Okay. 570 00:23:39,786 --> 00:23:43,120 "on the behalf of foodtown, I'd like to apologize." 571 00:23:47,460 --> 00:23:49,059 Yeah? Find anything good? 572 00:23:49,062 --> 00:23:50,962 On behalf of foodtown, I'd like to apologize. 573 00:23:53,732 --> 00:23:55,866 Oh, my god, it's so funny. 574 00:23:56,068 --> 00:23:57,534 Oh, my god. 575 00:23:57,736 --> 00:24:00,537 You're good. Thank you. 576 00:24:00,539 --> 00:24:02,173 That's it, bud. You're done. 577 00:24:03,305 --> 00:25:03,881 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm