"The PJs" Fear of a Black Rat

1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 The Pjs - 2x10 - Fear of a Black Rat IMDB ID#0182621 DDDBBB, v1.0, 08/01/25 23.976 FPS 2 00:00:00,560 --> 00:00:03,820 <i>♪ Once upon a time in the projects ♪</i> 3 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:06,420 <i>♪ PJ's! ♪</i> 4 00:00:06,721 --> 00:00:07,520 <i>♪ Projects! ♪</i> 5 00:00:07,540 --> 00:00:08,840 <i>♪ Low rent high rise, y'all! ♪</i> 6 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:10,280 <i>♪ PJ's! ♪</i> 7 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:12,400 <i>♪ Projects! ♪</i> 8 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:13,740 <i>♪ Living in the PJ's! ♪</i> 9 00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:18,561 <i>♪ Holding down the cardboard condo Homeboy and a homemade bungalow ♪</i> 10 00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:22,940 <i>♪ In the middle of the end of a dead-end one way street. ♪</i> 11 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:29,100 <i>♪ Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya Living in the PJ's! ♪</i> 12 00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:31,740 <i>♪ PJ's! ♪</i> 13 00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:40,940 <i>Oh Warden Brubaker, you were delicious!</i> 14 00:00:41,130 --> 00:00:44,410 Why, thank you, prisoner 10-10-3-2-1. 15 00:00:44,890 --> 00:00:47,490 You're the sexiest felon on the cell block. 16 00:00:48,470 --> 00:00:51,990 Honey, be a love and get the key to these handcuffs, will you? 17 00:00:52,630 --> 00:00:54,070 They're cutting into my wrist. 18 00:00:54,870 --> 00:00:55,950 <i>I don't know.</i> 19 00:00:56,530 --> 00:01:00,630 Do you think you deserve time off for bad behavior? 20 00:01:01,050 --> 00:01:02,670 Uh, Jimmy, just bring me the damn key. 21 00:01:02,870 --> 00:01:03,370 Oh, sorry. 22 00:01:03,510 --> 00:01:04,910 I didn't realize the game was over. 23 00:01:05,610 --> 00:01:06,270 That's funny. 24 00:01:06,530 --> 00:01:07,910 I put the key right here. 25 00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:12,580 Uh... 26 00:01:12,780 --> 00:01:14,680 Baby, try to stay calm. 27 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,600 Thurgood, thank God you're home. 28 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:20,300 We have a thief in the building. 29 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:21,380 Really? 30 00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:22,520 Oh, guess what? 31 00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:25,620 We also have stairs in the building. 32 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:29,080 And brace yourself, we also have a roof! 33 00:01:29,420 --> 00:01:31,520 He stole my necklace of precious stones. 34 00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:35,280 Every one I passed was a five-hour labor of love. 35 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,000 We've all had stuff taken. 36 00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:39,380 Look, you all know the project's code. 37 00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:42,540 Lovely to look at, delightful to hold. 38 00:01:42,541 --> 00:01:45,580 If you put it down, consider it stoled. 39 00:01:45,740 --> 00:01:48,180 You gotta be more like me and keep your stuff locked up. 40 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,960 Ahhh! My favorite tape! 41 00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:56,740 You damn thieving magpies! 42 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:57,620 Let me in! 43 00:01:57,900 --> 00:02:01,140 Not by the lesions in our skinny-skin skin! 44 00:02:03,660 --> 00:02:05,900 I know you've been stealing stuff from the tenants. 45 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,300 Not us, Super. 46 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:10,100 We just got back from our club med vacation. 47 00:02:10,101 --> 00:02:12,980 See, this one's from County Med. 48 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,380 This is from the methadone clinic. 49 00:02:15,540 --> 00:02:22,541 And this is from Planned Parenthood, where Babs and I fell in love all over again. 50 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,600 I can't believe someone would steal my engagement ring. 51 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,260 It's irreplaceable. 52 00:02:30,420 --> 00:02:31,100 I know. 53 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:33,340 They haven't made Quisp in years. 54 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:36,000 Uh-uh, uh-uh! 55 00:02:36,001 --> 00:02:37,140 Not the handcuffs! 56 00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:38,540 Cut the bad frame! 57 00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:41,300 What the... 58 00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:43,100 Oh, my! 59 00:02:43,870 --> 00:02:45,400 This is somebody's bracelet. 60 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:46,800 Bracelet nothing. 61 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,800 That's Papa Hudson's pinky ring. 62 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,240 I think there's more things behind here. 63 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,320 That's Calvin's missing penknife! 64 00:02:57,740 --> 00:02:58,880 I don't understand. 65 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:02,260 Why would the stolen stuff be in our apartment? 66 00:03:02,620 --> 00:03:03,620 I'll tell you why. 67 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:05,440 Because Thurgood is the thief! 68 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:06,720 Oh, no! 69 00:03:06,980 --> 00:03:07,600 Oh, yeah! 70 00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,260 I guess now we know. 71 00:03:09,261 --> 00:03:12,060 His thing ain't the only thing that's crooked. 72 00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:16,700 Okay. 73 00:03:16,860 --> 00:03:18,280 Whose was the cigar box? 74 00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:19,640 Full of dust. 75 00:03:20,020 --> 00:03:21,400 My father's ashes. 76 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,140 I'm so happy to have them back. 77 00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:25,580 Hello, Papa. 78 00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:31,000 Good news, people. 79 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:32,600 I think I'm on to the guy who did it. 80 00:03:32,740 --> 00:03:33,420 So are we. 81 00:03:33,700 --> 00:03:34,700 It's you! 82 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,480 All our stuff was found in your apartment. 83 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:38,280 Say what? 84 00:03:38,281 --> 00:03:41,820 I say we make him some cement shoes and beat him with them. 85 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:43,520 Now, now. 86 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,860 I told you Thurgood would have a good explanation. 87 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:49,100 Goody, tell them you'd never steal from their apartments. 88 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:49,860 She's right. 89 00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:53,116 I might eat out of your refrigerator when you're gone and make a local call or two. 90 00:03:53,140 --> 00:03:54,200 Enjoy my nakedness. 91 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:56,256 Maybe use your toilet and try on some of your clothes. 92 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:57,380 But I would never steal! 93 00:03:59,780 --> 00:04:01,020 There's your thief right there! 94 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:01,620 Where? 95 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:02,860 Didn't you see it? 96 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:05,140 It was a huge, hideous, enormous rat. 97 00:04:05,260 --> 00:04:06,980 It escaped through that hole in the wall over there. 98 00:04:06,981 --> 00:04:07,981 A rat, huh? 99 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:09,180 Mm-hmm. 100 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:16,200 Maybe he's related to that escaped circus bear you said wandered in here and broke the water heater right after you fixed it. 101 00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:16,980 Okay, okay. 102 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,040 There was no circus bear. 103 00:04:18,140 --> 00:04:19,220 But there was really a rat. 104 00:04:19,340 --> 00:04:22,100 A rat in the projects? A likely story. 105 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,340 Boy, I thought I was pathetic. 106 00:04:26,860 --> 00:04:28,560 Don't get cocky, cancer man. 107 00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:30,320 Wait, stop. 108 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,520 You see, I'll find the rat burglar and prove it to you. 109 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:33,720 You'll see I ain't lying. 110 00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:41,630 Look out ratty, you're in for a world of hurt. 111 00:04:42,470 --> 00:04:44,890 All right rat, you've met your match. 112 00:04:45,650 --> 00:04:48,330 Nobody, and I mean nobody, out smarts Thurgood Stubbs! 113 00:04:48,690 --> 00:04:49,390 Do you hear me? 114 00:04:49,630 --> 00:04:51,710 Nobody, nobody!! 115 00:04:56,550 --> 00:04:57,550 Muriel, pull my feet. 116 00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:03,080 All right Walter, start the car. 117 00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:09,220 Yeah, rat, I got your ass now. 118 00:05:14,470 --> 00:05:15,470 ...breath deep. 119 00:05:17,370 --> 00:05:18,610 <i>(slurred)</i> ...done, that right. 120 00:05:18,830 --> 00:05:20,630 <i>(slurred)</i> You won't feel a thing if you breathe on deep. 121 00:05:20,930 --> 00:05:22,590 <i>(slurred)</i> Might get a little drowsy, that's all. 122 00:05:25,510 --> 00:05:29,490 Might even get a little silly and start seeing things, yeah. 123 00:05:30,450 --> 00:05:33,210 Hey, who's playing all the lollie pop trees? 124 00:05:36,934 --> 00:05:39,434 <i>[ siren ]</i> 125 00:05:41,980 --> 00:05:43,400 Thurgood, what do you think you're doing? 126 00:05:43,401 --> 00:05:45,900 The doctor said you're supposed to rest. 127 00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:48,620 Look, I'll rest when that rat is resting eternally. 128 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,300 Here, ratty rat rat. 129 00:05:51,580 --> 00:05:53,620 I think you need some more iron in your diet. 130 00:05:59,790 --> 00:06:01,030 No, that would be stupid. 131 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:09,074 132 00:06:10,654 --> 00:06:12,654 <i>[ siren ]</i> 133 00:06:15,378 --> 00:06:16,378 Ut! 134 00:06:16,902 --> 00:06:18,902 <i>[ Super getting paranoid ]</i> 135 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,060 You can run! But you can't hide! 136 00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:24,900 Where'd you hide? 137 00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:28,500 I'm through playing games with you! 138 00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:38,520 Please, hammer, hurt him! 139 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,160 I'll kill you, you rat bastard! 140 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:43,360 I tell you, I'll kill you! 141 00:06:51,580 --> 00:06:55,440 Come out, come out wherever you are. 142 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:00,320 So we meet again! 143 00:07:03,940 --> 00:07:04,995 Ah ha! 144 00:07:05,719 --> 00:07:08,744 Well, I guess we've finally established 145 00:07:08,867 --> 00:07:11,280 whom is marginally smarter than who. 146 00:07:14,260 --> 00:07:18,700 You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out. 147 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:22,460 You put your right hand in and you shake it all about... 148 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:23,920 ...you do the... 149 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:25,160 ...oh! 150 00:07:25,420 --> 00:07:25,680 ...oh! 151 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:26,440 ...oh! 152 00:07:26,441 --> 00:07:27,441 ...oh! 153 00:07:32,431 --> 00:07:33,431 ...you! 154 00:07:33,710 --> 00:07:34,830 ...you saved my life! 155 00:07:35,310 --> 00:07:37,170 Now don't be scared, my little friend. 156 00:07:37,270 --> 00:07:38,770 I'm not going to hurt you. 157 00:07:39,030 --> 00:07:42,050 How could I after you so selfishly saved my life? 158 00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,850 You're a noble creature who deserves to live free with dignity. 159 00:07:45,190 --> 00:07:46,190 And so you shall. 160 00:07:46,390 --> 00:07:47,910 In a little cage under my bed. 161 00:07:48,030 --> 00:07:49,030 I'll never let you go. 162 00:07:49,830 --> 00:07:50,830 Let go! 163 00:07:51,110 --> 00:07:51,650 Let go! 164 00:07:51,890 --> 00:07:52,890 Let go! 165 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,760 My Thurgood, you're really enjoying your dinner. 166 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:03,160 Yep. 167 00:08:04,540 --> 00:08:05,556 Here you go, Mr. Whiskers. 168 00:08:05,580 --> 00:08:06,860 Have some of Muriel's pot roast. 169 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,536 Oh, you might have to chew it a little more if you want to keep it down. 170 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:11,680 Look, I agreed to let you keep that rat as a pet. 171 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:14,420 But I do not want that disgusting thing at the table. 172 00:08:14,580 --> 00:08:14,800 Shh! 173 00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:15,400 Muriel, please! 174 00:08:15,460 --> 00:08:16,200 Not in front of the baby! 175 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:17,680 I am not that rat's mother! 176 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:19,560 Come on, Muriel. 177 00:08:19,561 --> 00:08:22,316 I just know you're going to love Mr. Whiskers once you see how smart he is. 178 00:08:22,340 --> 00:08:23,740 Look, I already taught him a trick. 179 00:08:23,820 --> 00:08:24,820 Watch this. 180 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,360 Now remember, don't take em until the count of three. 181 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:29,800 Okay, here we go. 182 00:08:30,180 --> 00:08:30,500 One! 183 00:08:30,501 --> 00:08:31,501 Ah! 184 00:08:31,740 --> 00:08:32,620 Get it off! 185 00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:33,220 Get it off! 186 00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:34,000 Ah! 187 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:35,440 Ah! 188 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:36,000 Ah! 189 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:37,500 Ah! 190 00:08:38,724 --> 00:08:41,224 <i>That's it, I want it out!</i> 191 00:08:41,630 --> 00:08:43,110 Muriel, just give him a chance. 192 00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:45,770 You'll find that rat love is the easiest kind of love there is. 193 00:08:45,994 --> 00:09:21,226 <i>[ ♪ Piano music with whistling ♪ ]</i> 194 00:08:46,050 --> 00:08:47,410 God damn, you bit me deep. 195 00:08:47,950 --> 00:08:48,950 Ah! 196 00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:28,640 Why, thank you, Mr. Whiskers. 197 00:09:28,740 --> 00:09:30,600 Mrs. Avery, I can't believe you. 198 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,720 You burnt out another motor on your garbage disposal. 199 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,240 How much do you run this thing? 200 00:09:34,380 --> 00:09:36,020 I know what you're insinuating. 201 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:41,560 A woman my age, carefully stacking two milk crates together and climbing on the 202 00:09:41,561 --> 00:09:46,280 counter wearing nothing but my special silk bloomers and riding that wonderful machine. 203 00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:47,680 You make me sick! 204 00:09:47,681 --> 00:09:51,220 So, uh, when you gonna be done? 205 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,160 Oh my God! 206 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:54,560 A filthy rat! 207 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:55,920 Sick them lucky! 208 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,520 Oh, sorry about that, Mrs. Avery. 209 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:07,140 That rat's with me. 210 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:08,000 He's my pet. 211 00:10:08,180 --> 00:10:09,340 Uh, is your dog okay? 212 00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:10,680 He'll live. 213 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:15,540 Say, that rat is a worn down and dirty filthy fighter. 214 00:10:15,780 --> 00:10:17,920 You ought to take her to the Friday night rat fights. 215 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:19,320 The rat fights? 216 00:10:19,321 --> 00:10:21,060 Rats wouldn't put on earth to fight. 217 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,441 They would put on earth to eat garbage and spread disease. 218 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:26,720 Well, purses can get pretty high when the bettin' is right. 219 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:28,440 I don't know. 220 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,520 My boy is more of a lover than a fighter. 221 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:32,080 Ah! 222 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:33,000 Get it off! 223 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:34,120 Get it off! 224 00:10:34,144 --> 00:10:35,644 Ah! 225 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:48,060 I don't know why I let you drag me to this? 226 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:49,400 It's Bob Barrett. 227 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:50,820 Oh, come on now, Muri. 228 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,116 It's just like any other sport. 229 00:10:52,140 --> 00:10:53,700 Just pretend you're at a baseball game. 230 00:10:55,140 --> 00:10:55,580 See? 231 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:56,760 You caught a five. 232 00:10:58,420 --> 00:11:02,120 And winning... by slick incision... 233 00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:03,680 Vermin Hensley! 234 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,400 He's movin' on up! 235 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:08,560 Okay, who's gonna be his next challenger? 236 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:10,400 Yeah, I'll throw my rat up into the ring. 237 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:13,460 Well, come on up here with your bad self. 238 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:14,960 Alright, Mr. Whiskers. 239 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,000 Let's do this. 240 00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:20,721 Just remember, no matter what happens tonight, I'll always be proud to call you my... 241 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:23,360 Don't poop while I'm talkin' to you! 242 00:11:24,020 --> 00:11:25,920 Okay, rats. No dirty stuff. 243 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:28,280 I want a nice clean fight to the death! 244 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:32,680 Come on, Mr. Whiskers! 245 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:33,000 Come on! 246 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:33,560 Fight! 247 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:34,020 Fight! 248 00:11:34,220 --> 00:11:35,580 Drop him like he's a black sitcom! 249 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:39,920 Oh, no! 250 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:41,680 Look at this crowd of savages. 251 00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:44,540 I don't want any part of this bloodthirsty spectacle. 252 00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:45,700 I'm leavin'. 253 00:11:45,701 --> 00:11:47,320 And wait a few seconds, lady. 254 00:11:47,460 --> 00:11:49,320 You can take the dead rat with ya. 255 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:49,940 What? 256 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:51,680 I didn't raise no punk! 257 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,400 Kill him, Mr. Whiskers! 258 00:11:53,620 --> 00:11:54,620 Get him off ya! 259 00:11:54,740 --> 00:11:56,160 Fight like you're fightin' up..... 260 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,941 And the winner is... ...Mr. 261 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:07,120 Whiskers! 262 00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:08,540 Yes! 263 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:09,320 Woo! 264 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:10,760 Yeah! 265 00:12:10,940 --> 00:12:13,420 My rat is the greatest fighter of all time! 266 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:16,600 It floats like a superfly and stings like my pee! 267 00:12:16,780 --> 00:12:18,500 Who else dare take on Mr. Whiskers? 268 00:12:18,540 --> 00:12:18,820 Come on! 269 00:12:19,060 --> 00:12:21,720 I'll take on your rat and I'll beat him to it! 270 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,080 Well, who the hell said that? 271 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:25,360 I'll beat him. 272 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:31,720 Well, it's too bad your manners don't match your dignified hair. 273 00:12:31,721 --> 00:12:32,740 Shut up, stupid! 274 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,120 That's Don King! 275 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:35,840 Your Highness. 276 00:12:37,020 --> 00:12:38,020 That's Don King? 277 00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:40,316 Well, what the hell's he doin' here in the projects? 278 00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:43,158 Lord knows if I was makin' four figures, I'd be livin' in a 279 00:12:43,182 --> 00:12:46,000 big white house with a big white car and a big white woman. 280 00:12:46,260 --> 00:12:46,820 Thurgood! 281 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:48,700 On the side, Muriel, on the side. 282 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:52,460 What brings you to our humble bloodfest, your Black Excellency? 283 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:56,160 Well, although I've descended to the heights of the pugilistic profession, 284 00:12:56,620 --> 00:13:02,441 I occasionally desire to return to my roots, the splendiferous world of rodentified fisticuffs! 285 00:13:02,820 --> 00:13:08,240 And I've brought the most fantasticula stupendosilis verminator of them all! 286 00:13:08,420 --> 00:13:11,500 I give you... Sugar Rat Leonard! 287 00:13:14,380 --> 00:13:16,840 It would be my dream to fight you, Dr. King. 288 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,280 With that scrawny little thing? 289 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,760 My rat will eat after the fight, if you don't mind. 290 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:23,520 Oh, yeah? 291 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,280 Why don't you do what I do and put your rat where your mouth is? 292 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:29,700 All right, but be prepared to suffer a defecatin' defeat! 293 00:13:31,140 --> 00:13:32,140 Muriel? 294 00:13:32,380 --> 00:13:33,380 Muriel Warren? 295 00:13:33,940 --> 00:13:36,260 Boy, it's been a long time. 296 00:13:36,980 --> 00:13:37,980 Oh. 297 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:39,520 Hello, Donald. 298 00:13:39,620 --> 00:13:41,480 And it's, uh, Stubbs now. 299 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:47,861 Oh, I should have known that a delicate flower with a butt as big as yours would be plucked by now. 300 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:51,240 What prince of a man finally snared you? 301 00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:52,660 Yon fellow? 302 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,840 Muriel, you know Don King? 303 00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:57,620 We went out a few times, years ago. 304 00:13:58,140 --> 00:14:00,140 It was before we were married. 305 00:14:00,460 --> 00:14:01,700 It was before we met, huh? 306 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,400 Um, it was before we were married. 307 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,760 I must say, I'm flatified, Muriel. 308 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:11,360 You're still wearing that sweatsuit I bought you on our trip to Paris. 309 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:12,760 Paris? 310 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,516 Is that where you were that summer? 311 00:14:14,540 --> 00:14:16,380 You wrote me and told me you was at Camp Elsie. 312 00:14:16,460 --> 00:14:17,840 That was the Champs-Élysées. 313 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:19,520 Hm. 314 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:24,540 And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the main event. 315 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:27,260 The Rumble in the concrete jungle. 316 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:29,820 The brawler in the squalor. 317 00:14:29,821 --> 00:14:32,280 The throwdown in the po'town. 318 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:33,680 Let's go, Stubbs. 319 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:35,760 Our rats have a date with road density. 320 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:37,140 ... after the round. 321 00:14:37,141 --> 00:14:38,141 We gonna have to talk. 322 00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:43,440 Better back out now, Stubbs. 323 00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:44,680 Look at my rat. 324 00:14:44,820 --> 00:14:46,920 This ain't no candy-ass city rat. 325 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,980 This rat was born in a prison. 326 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,960 Last time he fought, he bit the ear off his opponent. 327 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:53,600 Oh, yeah? 328 00:14:53,740 --> 00:14:56,440 Well, my rat managed to find food in the projects for three years. 329 00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:58,600 So I think he can take care of himself in the ring. 330 00:15:03,290 --> 00:15:04,290 Mr. Wilson! 331 00:15:06,670 --> 00:15:07,870 That's the fight, folks. 332 00:15:08,090 --> 00:15:09,850 And that means everybody out. 333 00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:13,318 Because in two minutes, Walter the Gambler, who got cleaned 334 00:15:13,342 --> 00:15:17,150 out, is about to become Walter the Cop, who's confiscating everything. 335 00:15:17,810 --> 00:15:18,810 One minute! 336 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:26,160 Muriel, I'll be staying at the Four Seasons Hotel. 337 00:15:26,620 --> 00:15:29,420 Give me a call if you want to spend some time with a winner. 338 00:15:29,820 --> 00:15:31,280 If you have a phone. 339 00:15:31,660 --> 00:15:34,060 I'm sure he was inviting both of us. 340 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,600 Ten seconds! 341 00:15:41,620 --> 00:15:42,860 You like me, don't you, boy? 342 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,160 Goody, what would you like for breakfast? 343 00:15:45,220 --> 00:15:46,020 I don't know. 344 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:47,800 What you used to make Don King for breakfast? 345 00:15:48,420 --> 00:15:51,420 Thurgood, how long are you going to keep up this nonsense about Don King? 346 00:15:51,860 --> 00:15:52,860 Oh, I don't know. 347 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,140 How long would Don King keep it up? 348 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:57,200 Because I can keep it up even longer. 349 00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,558 Thurgood, either you accept that I love you and 350 00:15:59,582 --> 00:16:02,260 I am glad I married you 25 years ago, or you don't. 351 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:04,440 But I am not going to play this game! 352 00:16:05,420 --> 00:16:05,820 Muriel! 353 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,000 Muriel, wait! 354 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:09,380 I knew she'd leave me! 355 00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:14,340 Well, Mr. Whiskers, I guess Muriel don't want to hang around losers like us. 356 00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:16,200 Seems she got a thing for winners. 357 00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:17,900 Well, she has it well. 358 00:16:18,420 --> 00:16:19,480 Very, very well. 359 00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:21,900 Well, we'll show her we can be winners, too. 360 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,320 Aw, don't poop while I'm talking to you. 361 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,620 Smokey, I need to talk to you. 362 00:16:29,220 --> 00:16:30,500 Sure, come on in. 363 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:33,220 I need your help. 364 00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:35,000 I want you to train my rat, Mr. Whiskers. 365 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,881 Word on the street is that you was the best rat trainer that ever was. 366 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,260 I'm afraid you have me confused with another man. 367 00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:44,940 In fact, you have me confused with a man, period. 368 00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:49,860 Smokey, I know you used to be Ratman Crothers. 369 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:55,100 There's a name I haven't heard in a long time. 370 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,380 Come on, Ratman, I need you, please! 371 00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:58,760 Won't you even look at him? 372 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:03,240 Mmm... The rabies are strong with this one. 373 00:17:03,660 --> 00:17:04,660 So you'll help me? 374 00:17:04,820 --> 00:17:06,560 Look, I need to win back my wife. 375 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,140 And you can do that by winning a rat fight? 376 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,360 Mmm... She must be quite a prize, Super. 377 00:17:17,250 --> 00:17:19,090 Say, hey, Ratman, how's my boy doing? 378 00:17:19,250 --> 00:17:23,850 Well, he's got good muscle tone, nice chest expansion, he's up to weight. 379 00:17:24,670 --> 00:17:28,710 Super, it is my expert opinion that this rat is definitely fat enough to eat. 380 00:17:29,190 --> 00:17:30,190 What?! 381 00:17:31,014 --> 00:17:32,214 No! 382 00:17:35,290 --> 00:17:36,290 Mr. Whiskers! 383 00:17:38,150 --> 00:17:38,870 Mr. Whiskers! 384 00:17:39,010 --> 00:17:40,010 Mr. Whiskers! 385 00:17:40,630 --> 00:17:42,630 Squeak to me! -(burp) 386 00:17:52,340 --> 00:17:59,181 Mr. Stubbs, I've, uh, thoroughly examined your rat, and, uh, I have several questions. 387 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,560 First of all, what the hell are you doing with a pet rat? 388 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,640 And don't you know these things spread disease? 389 00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:05,580 Look what it did to your dog. 390 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:10,260 Look, spare me the common sense, Doc. 391 00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:11,416 Just give it to me straight. 392 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:12,440 Will he ever fight again? 393 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:18,661 It is my considered opinion that if this rat fights again, there's a very strong chance he'll die. 394 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,780 But if I don't fight him, I'll lose my wife! 395 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:23,380 It's over, Super. 396 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:26,580 We'll have to find some other way to win back your wife. 397 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:29,080 May I make a suggestion? 398 00:18:29,620 --> 00:18:31,680 Forget about penny ante rat fights. 399 00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:33,380 Make some money off your talking dog. 400 00:18:33,740 --> 00:18:34,960 He ain't a dog, he's a man! 401 00:18:34,961 --> 00:18:36,500 Oh, dear God, no! 402 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:40,340 Look, just take your rat and your freak and get out! 403 00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:41,420 Get out! 404 00:18:46,780 --> 00:18:48,860 Don't you worry, Mr. Whiskers. Don't you worry about a thing. 405 00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:49,700 You're gonna be just fine. 406 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,040 Because if veterinarians are so smart, how come they don't have their own TV show like doctors do? 407 00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:55,200 Tell me. I know what I'm talking about. 408 00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:57,120 Super! 409 00:18:57,300 --> 00:18:58,960 You can't go through with this! 410 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:00,740 You gotta throw in the towel! 411 00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:04,120 Thurgood Stubbs has never touched a towel and never will! 412 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:05,560 Let's go, Stubbs. 413 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,880 Prepare to suffer a defecating defeat! 414 00:19:07,881 --> 00:19:09,440 Okay, Thurgood. 415 00:19:09,620 --> 00:19:11,740 Hand over <i>your dirty rat</i>! 416 00:19:12,140 --> 00:19:13,220 Heh, heh, heh, heh. 417 00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:15,900 Hmph. 418 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:51,640 <i>♪ I used to say... I and me Now it's us... Now it's we ♪ </i> 419 00:19:52,140 --> 00:20:00,040 <i>♪ I used to say... I and me Now it's us...</i> 420 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:03,181 It is my considered opinion that if this rat fights 421 00:20:03,205 --> 00:20:06,120 again, there's a very strong chance he'll die. 422 00:20:06,180 --> 00:20:06,720 He'll die. 423 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:07,880 He'll die. 424 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:09,680 Mr. Whiskers! 425 00:20:11,580 --> 00:20:12,580 No! 426 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,820 Fight's off! Fight's off! 427 00:20:25,340 --> 00:20:26,720 It's all over, Mr. Whiskers. 428 00:20:26,860 --> 00:20:28,060 You never have to fight again. 429 00:20:28,220 --> 00:20:31,220 You can retire to a long, happy life of cosmetic experiments. 430 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:33,340 Thurgood, I'm so proud of you. 431 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,400 You stopped that barbaric fight. 432 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:37,720 You're the most sensible man here. 433 00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:39,560 Muriel! What are you doing here? 434 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,900 I thought you'd be off annulling our marriage so that you can run off and marry Don King. 435 00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:44,820 Thurgood, what are you talking about? 436 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:46,760 Hey, I can handle it. I'm a mature duck. 437 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,900 My rat lost to his rat, and that means he's more of a man than I am. 438 00:20:50,020 --> 00:20:52,020 And now you can marry him and make babies somehow. 439 00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:55,160 Thurgood, I keep telling you, Don King means nothing to me. 440 00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:56,840 I love you. 441 00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:58,280 Hmph. 442 00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,820 Looks like I'm the big winner here tonight, because guess why? 443 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,700 Muriel's not going to marry you. 444 00:21:02,940 --> 00:21:04,440 She's staying here with me. 445 00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:08,280 Muriel, you don't know how sorry I am to hear that. 446 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:12,440 Hey, you had a sister, didn't you? 447 00:21:12,580 --> 00:21:13,800 Why yes, my sister Bebe. 448 00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:15,840 Whoa, whoa, been there, caught that. 449 00:21:16,140 --> 00:21:18,120 Well, I must bid you all adieu. 450 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:19,720 Talking dog? 451 00:21:20,820 --> 00:21:21,820 Walk with me. 452 00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:24,940 I have some connections in Branson, Missouri, you might want to know. 453 00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:28,800 So you'd really rather be with me than Don King, huh? 454 00:21:29,020 --> 00:21:30,220 Of course Thurgood. 455 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,180 You're the king of my castle. 456 00:21:32,460 --> 00:21:33,460 You mean it. 457 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:36,280 Baby! I'm the greatest. 457 00:21:37,305 --> 00:22:37,619 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm