"Virgin Island" Episode #1.4

1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:06,800 This programme contains strong language, nudity and scenes of a sexual nature 2 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,520 The word virgin, people see it as a joke. It's quite upsetting. 3 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,680 In a world where sex is everywhere... 4 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:16,800 My God. 5 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,600 ..the truth is surprising. 6 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:21,320 There are more adult virgins than ever. 7 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,920 Being a young adult in this day and age, it's difficult. 8 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,200 Social media. Dating apps. TV shows. 9 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:28,280 Porn. Porn. Porn. 10 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,120 Porn. Porn is everywhere. 11 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,760 Are you self-conscious about our genitals touching each other? 12 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:33,800 Now... 13 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,440 Yeah. 14 00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:37,200 ..at this radical retreat, 15 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:40,640 intimacy experts are offering a very hands-on solution... 16 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:42,200 Oh, yeah. 17 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:43,360 She's a miracle worker. 18 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:44,760 Woohoo! 19 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,600 Ooh, yeah. Like that? I like that! 20 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:48,600 ..to help Britain's virgins... 21 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:49,720 Mm... 22 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,400 ..lose the one thing... 23 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:52,920 Do I make you feel nervous? 24 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:54,680 ..they feel is holding them back. 25 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,520 I want to lose my virginity. 26 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:57,880 It's now or never. 27 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:00,440 But when the moment arrives... 28 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:03,880 Would you like to move to the bed? 29 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:04,920 ..who will be ready? 30 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,640 I just don't want anyone to touch me. 31 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:09,680 ..to go all... 32 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:10,720 SHE MOANS 33 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:12,120 ..the way? 34 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,640 You are so sexy. 35 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:14,680 Yeah, so good. 36 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:25,240 Over the last few days on Virgin Island... 37 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:27,680 I'm definitely gay. 38 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,160 I know, thank you. 39 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,120 That felt really good. 40 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:32,360 HE YELLS, APPLAUSE 41 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:33,960 ..revelations... 42 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,200 This is MY body. Yes. 43 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:36,720 ..led to breakthroughs. 44 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,320 Right now, I feel on top of the world. 45 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:40,880 Charlotte's bravado... 46 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:43,120 Why do you have these horrible stretch marks? 47 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,200 Why have you...? You didn't say horrible, did you? 48 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:47,160 ..has caused issues for some. 49 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:48,520 I've always hated my body. 50 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,760 I know it's a little thing, but for me it's quite big. 51 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:52,800 And Dave... 52 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:54,960 How are you feeling? Good. 53 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,440 ..started work with surrogate partner Kat. 54 00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:58,920 It's given me a massive confidence boost. 55 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,040 Now, halfway through the course, 56 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,120 the group will be challenged like never before. 57 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:08,000 The relationship with the body is very crucial 58 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:11,200 to dating, intimacy, and sex. 59 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:14,040 How are you feeling about genital touching? 60 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:16,400 What we bring to sex is our bodies - 61 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:20,920 if we feel shame about our bodies, we won't be able to engage in sex. 62 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:28,074 63 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:36,120 It's day seven of the retreat, 64 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:39,720 and this morning there's an extra surprise in store. 65 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,240 Oh, fuck's sake. 66 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:42,960 Well, that's not scary. SHE LAUGHS 67 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:46,200 It doesn't bode well that there's a robe. 68 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:50,520 It's the stage of the course they've all been dreading... 69 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,560 "This phase of the course is The Body. 70 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,040 "Please come to this workshop 71 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:56,520 "in as few clothes as you feel comfortable wearing 72 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:58,400 "underneath a bathrobe." 73 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:01,160 Suddenly need the loo... SHE LAUGHS 74 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:02,400 ..for about four hours - 75 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,440 just until after the workshop's over! 76 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,440 I think this may be one of the scariest workshops 77 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:12,520 for a lot of people, because it's so intense to expose your body. 78 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,040 I'm not a bathrobe person. 79 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,280 I like clothes. Clothes are a mark of civilisation. 80 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:21,680 Morning. 81 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,560 Is that what you're going in? Yes. 82 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:31,880 I've never really looked at my body and not felt sick. 83 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,920 In school, in my friendship group, 84 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:37,400 I was the uglier, fatter friend. 85 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:41,200 So, even though, like, I'm not as fat now, 86 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:42,440 I feel like I just still feel it. 87 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:45,920 You nervous? Yeah. I want you guys to know 88 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:49,200 I'm really small and skinny, so don't be surprised. Hmm? 89 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:52,280 What? Is he on about his cock? 90 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,120 I dunno. I was just nodding my head! 91 00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,080 Oh-h-h-h... 92 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:00,160 Argh... 93 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,440 Am I the only one that's not going to fully take my robe off? 94 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,120 In this morning's workshop, 95 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:09,840 the experts are keen to see if anyone has the confidence to bare all. 96 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:13,200 We get horrible messages about our bodies. 97 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,880 There are so many ways to think 98 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,320 "My body isn't right, my body isn't enough," 99 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:18,960 and then we are supposed to go out and, like, 100 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,920 enjoy pleasure in our body, it's quite impossible, actually. 101 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:25,200 Hello, hello. All right? Hello. Welcome, welcome. 102 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:33,160 Our relationship with our body 103 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:37,360 makes such a huge difference to how we feel about ourselves. 104 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:38,560 And social media, 105 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,560 where it's, like, constant images of the Kardashians 106 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,440 with all their augmentations, 107 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:45,000 and all the influencers, 108 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:47,400 and it just creates these crazy expectations, 109 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:51,240 which is why it's so important to start to reclaim our bodies. 110 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,240 And what better way to get comfortable with bodies... 111 00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,560 ..than by seeing some first-hand? 112 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:05,680 So Devah, if you feel ready... 113 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:18,040 So, this is my body, everyone. 114 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,000 And though I love my body now, 115 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,240 I struggle with something called body dysmorphia... 116 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:24,800 ..which means, when I look in the mirror... 117 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,560 ..I don't see the same thing that everybody else sees. 118 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:40,080 This is my body. 119 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:44,120 And I also love my body now, 120 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:48,440 but it has been years really with poor self-image. 121 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:50,960 So, yeah, it's a process. It's a process. Yeah. 122 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:58,000 How do you feel when you look at Joy and Devah? 123 00:05:58,040 --> 00:05:59,800 I sort of feel like I'm crossing a boundary. 124 00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:02,240 There's a lot of discomfort, and a lot of feelings of, like, 125 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:04,880 "Oh, that's private," but if you're going to have sex, 126 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:07,320 this is not private any more! SHE LAUGHS 127 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:09,960 I feel like I actively avoid mirrors, 128 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,080 I kind of feel like it can bring me down, 129 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,080 so I don't have mirrors in my room, or in my house. 130 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,160 Thank you for sharing. 131 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:18,880 Thank you. Thank you so much. 132 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,240 Thank you. APPLAUSE 133 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:23,720 If being exposed to two naked bodies wasn't awkward enough, 134 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:26,520 what's coming next is the group's worst nightmare. 135 00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:30,360 The biggest thing that we can change 136 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,920 is how we can relate to our body. 137 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:37,560 We are going to invite you, one by one, to claim your body. 138 00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:42,800 We're asking the group to take off their robes 139 00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,640 and stand in front of the mirror 140 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:45,960 and look at their body. 141 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:49,200 It's such a way to shift their body confidence. 142 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:52,280 Who's ready? 143 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:56,960 Do you know what? YOLO. 144 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:01,600 First to volunteer is 25-year-old Jason, 145 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:04,440 who has always had a problem with his self-image. 146 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,880 OK. Right, so... 147 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,080 The front, I'm fine with. It's the butt. 148 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,520 Because my stretch marks, they're really red. 149 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,440 {\an8}Looking in the mirror feels strange, 150 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,960 {\an8}because I don't see myself as attractive at all. 151 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,120 {\an8}I don't like my hair. 152 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,240 {\an8}I don't like my face. 153 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,680 I've always been like a stickman. 154 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,920 Like, if you had a cartoon stickman, that's me. 155 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:27,680 OK... 156 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,600 THEY CHEER 157 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:40,960 Can you come to the mirror with me? 158 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,440 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll do that. 159 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,600 This is your mirror here, you can check yourself out. 160 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,360 I've seen this every day for 25 years. 161 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:47,920 CHUCKLING: Good. I'm used to it. 162 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,480 And then when you feel ready, 163 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:52,480 I want you to just say "This is my body." 164 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:54,080 This is my body. Yeah. 165 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:57,200 One more time. This is my body. Yes! Yeah? 166 00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,160 THEY CHEER 167 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,880 Amazing! 168 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:04,200 Who's ready next? 169 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,600 OK. Oh, my God. 170 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:12,640 Next to face the mirror is 29-year-old Charlotte, 171 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:15,880 whose relationship with her body has been a struggle. 172 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,560 I had a massive weight loss. 173 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:24,360 My highest weight was 120 kilos. 174 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:30,080 Since losing the weight, I have scars, I have loose skin. 175 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,520 When I was larger, 176 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:35,040 my self-esteem I would definitely say was lower, 177 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,840 but I acted a lot more confident than I am. 178 00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:54,080 DANIELLE BREATHES DEEPLY 179 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:57,400 I have scars. 180 00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:58,720 Yeah. 181 00:08:58,760 --> 00:08:59,880 I have them too. 182 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:06,160 You've been on an intense journey around your body. 183 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,200 Now remember the queen that you are. 184 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,360 This is my body. Yes. 185 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:18,440 Want to try one more time to really feel it? 186 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,680 It's yours you've earned it. 187 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,280 This is my body. 188 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:28,920 Can I give you a hug? 189 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,320 SHE PUFFS 190 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:38,280 As they each get up... 191 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:41,000 This is my body. 192 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,720 ..to face their reflections... 193 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:43,760 I'm basically, like, 194 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,520 probably dressed more than all of you put together. 195 00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:48,640 ..how much they're willing to reveal varies. 196 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,200 This is my body. There we go. 197 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:51,800 CHUCKLING: That was beautiful. 198 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:53,200 Looking at their bodies, 199 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,240 loving their bodies holistically, 200 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:57,600 can be hugely empowering. 201 00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,720 This is my body. 202 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,480 That's great, thank you. 203 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,240 Who is ready? 204 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:09,520 Yeah, fuck it. APPLAUSE 205 00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:11,280 So far, 24-year-old Dave 206 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:14,000 has kept a relatively low profile at the retreat. 207 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,560 THEY CHEER 208 00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:27,800 When I look at you... 209 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,000 ..I'm going to embarrass you... 210 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:31,720 THEY LAUGH 211 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:36,560 ..I see a sexy, handsome man. 212 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,000 Yeah, that does embarrass me. 213 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,720 I know, it's OK. THEY LAUGH 214 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,160 This is my body. 215 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:48,240 Who else? 216 00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:50,680 So, I think everyone else in this room 217 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,800 knew I was going to do this today. THEY CHUCKLE 218 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:55,400 I don't actually want to. 219 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,200 This is my body. 220 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,000 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 221 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,000 Who wants to go next? 222 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:27,000 Hey, love how are you feeling? 223 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,760 I just feel like I could be sick. 224 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:31,240 OK. What thoughts are coming up? 225 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:33,320 Just that I hate the way I look. 226 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,520 What emotions are there? 227 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:36,280 Like, what emotion are you feeling? 228 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,880 Anxious, sick... 229 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:40,840 ..and disgust. 230 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:44,440 You can get up there in front of everybody else 231 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,840 and be with your body and see what comes next. 232 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:52,960 You are not going to let a fear or a lack of self-worth 233 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,800 stop you from living your life. 234 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:01,240 This is my body. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 235 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,400 Who else is ready? 236 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,720 This is amazing. 237 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:17,000 Uh... 238 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:20,920 SHE GROANS 239 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:24,600 WHISPERING: Yeah, I don't want to look. 240 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,600 You don't want to look? Then look at me for a minute. 241 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,160 This is my body. 242 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:31,880 This is my body. 243 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,720 I'm so proud of you. Thank you. Can I have a hug? 244 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:39,480 APPLAUSE 245 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:48,320 Go - be proud of yourself, flaunt your bodies around, 246 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:51,440 shake them, remember what they are there for. 247 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,800 Well done, Dave. Thanks, man. 248 00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,880 I commend you both for what you did. 249 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,240 ZAC SIGHS I got... 250 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,920 Yeah, you get a little bit of a high afterwards, 251 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:03,600 don't you? You do, right? 252 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:06,160 That's the first time I've ever been naked in front of anyone, 253 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,920 let alone a room full of people. 254 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:12,600 I think today was the biggest thing I've done so far. 255 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:15,400 Did you feel good? Eh, mixed. 256 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,040 I thought I had this confidence, 257 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,960 and then it's different when you stare at yourself 258 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,400 while other people are staring at you. 259 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:23,000 I feel like... Maybe I've hit a bit of a wall. 260 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:29,920 The exercise was particularly difficult for Louise. 261 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,280 You know when you look in the mirror, 262 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:34,760 I feel like you just instantly look at the things you hate the most - 263 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,680 jiggly legs, and stretch marks on my hips - 264 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:39,520 like, that's just where your eyes go to. 265 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:42,640 I just want to feel good in my skin. 266 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,680 I don't know. I still feel a bit sick, to be honest. 267 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:03,120 Dave, you sly dog, I thought you were wearing boxers. 268 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:04,920 Yeah. But no, we saw everything. 269 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,640 Yeah, I bared all. Yeah. 270 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:07,920 I realised, when I was looking in the mirror, 271 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,480 one bollock was so much lower than the other. I didn't notice. 272 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,720 From what I saw, you all looked great. 273 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,480 I feel like it's easier for a girl to be naked. Really? 274 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,440 Cos I feel, if you've got a small dick, it's more embarrassing. 275 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,920 I feel it would be very apt if we had sausages today. 276 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,760 CROSSTALK, THEY LAUGH 277 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:25,400 Hi. 278 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,440 It's the afternoon on Virgin Island. 279 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,440 Can you have an Indian wedding if you're white? 280 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:34,200 Of course you can. Of course you can, yeah. 281 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,200 I just want to wear that dress. 282 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,880 While the course seems to be building confidence for some... 283 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,960 Aw, that's so sweet. You're turning me on a little bit. 284 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,120 Really? Mm. 285 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,800 ..the body phase is a huge challenge for others. 286 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,160 I was so confident, and then I stood in front of the mirror 287 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,320 and I was like "Don't like that, don't like that, don't like that." 288 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,600 I hate my hands. At least you've not got man hands! 289 00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,680 You haven't got man hands! THEY CHUCKLE 290 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:01,280 Where is your man hand? 291 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,480 I actually don't like my face. Do you not? 292 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,400 Let's talk about Louise. 293 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:11,000 Yeah, she was just terrified 294 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,880 of being judged, and she felt 295 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:14,760 that her body was disgusting. 296 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:15,920 So I was wondering, like, 297 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:17,400 what you feel like the next steps were? 298 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,520 To maybe disrobe the whole way, 299 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,640 to find new words to describe her body. 300 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:25,560 I hate the way I look. 301 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:28,080 I wouldn't say I've ever felt, like, confident. 302 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:29,520 I started I go into the gym. 303 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:33,240 That helped a lot. But yeah, it's a work in progress. 304 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:36,360 Come and have a seat. 305 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:40,120 Aisha hopes that a repeat of this morning's exercise in private, 306 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,360 could help improve Louise's confidence. 307 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,800 So, mirror work - you did that this morning, 308 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,760 and I wonder if you'd like to continue 309 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,200 doing a guided tour of your body? 310 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,200 Yeah. Yeah? 311 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:00,520 OK? 312 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:05,000 Uh... I don't want to put it down. 313 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,040 If this was a friend's body, 314 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:12,080 and they were, like, "Hey look, isn't my body disgusting?" 315 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,440 how might you show up differently? 316 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:16,120 So, if it was a friend, I'd just be like, 317 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,800 "There's nothing wrong with you, shut up." 318 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:22,920 But I just feel like I can't say that and mean it about myself. 319 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,480 Say it like you would to your friend, convincing. 320 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:26,960 There's nothing even wrong with you. 321 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:29,960 There's nothing even wrong with you. 322 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:32,600 Hmm. 323 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:36,080 Next step is to remove the sheet. 324 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:39,560 OK. 325 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,160 My boobs, I just hate my boobs. 326 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,120 One second, lady. LOUISE LAUGHS 327 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:47,840 Have you ever had compliments about your boobs? 328 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:49,720 Yeah. Tell me about that. 329 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:55,400 People wish they had these, or it's like, "They're perfect." 330 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:58,680 I want to invite you to receive the compliment. 331 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,240 "They're perfect." 332 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:03,320 Hmm. 333 00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:05,360 OK. 334 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:10,720 Louise is making progress, but Aisha has one final challenge. 335 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:15,160 So, noticing what your body wants to take off next? 336 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,600 And I'm thinking... 337 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:19,800 ..bra. 338 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:21,680 Great. When you're ready. 339 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,240 I'm cringing at myself. 340 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,000 THEY CHUCKLE 341 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,520 What's changed now that your bra is off? 342 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,160 It's always nice to take your bra off. 343 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,640 THEY CHUCKLE What's the feeling in your body? 344 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:40,800 The sensation of it? 345 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,920 Obviously, I do feel more free and just... 346 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,200 Yeah. 347 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:46,600 You feel more free? 348 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,600 Yeah. Louise! 349 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:52,120 Yeah. Everyone feels better when they're naked, just on their own. 350 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:54,120 SHE LAUGHS Yeah, OK. 351 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,480 So feeling better when you're naked? 352 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:57,880 I'm going to bring the robe. 353 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,600 Don't be ashamed. 354 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:04,920 Don't be ashamed. 355 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,000 Just love yourself. 356 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:09,960 Just love yourself. 357 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,440 Body image is definitely a place where Louise struggles. 358 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,920 That strength of feeling that she has, 359 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:20,680 it feels like it comes from way, way down inside of her, 360 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,920 from way, way back in her life. 361 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:25,960 Louise, look how much you've done. 362 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,960 Thank you for sharing your body with me. 363 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,240 Thank you for listening. 364 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:35,680 It felt good to replace my negative thoughts - or try to. 365 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,800 I feel like once I change the view that I have on myself, 366 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,680 then it will be easier to accept it from other people. 367 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,520 How was your one-to-one? 368 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:54,280 I basically just re-did this morning, but properly. 369 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,600 Do you feel better now, having done it? Did you...? 370 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,920 Yeah, because we properly stood in the mirror and, like... Assessed? 371 00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:02,120 Yeah, talked through everything. 372 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,840 I think you're gorgeous. Thanks. 373 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:07,760 Although Louise struggled with this morning's workshop... 374 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,840 Tuck in the bicep... Yeah. ..bring them out like this. 375 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:12,520 There. Then pull. 376 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,400 ..Dave shocked everybody by going the full monty. 377 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:18,000 Look at your veins! 378 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,120 These popping veins. 379 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:21,840 I was so impressed. 380 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,560 Three of them got naked, THREE! Yeah. 381 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,920 But, like, Dave was a huge surprise! Dave! 382 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,000 Totally. 383 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:31,080 Yeah, I feel like today he was definitely sending a message, 384 00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:32,600 and being like, "OK, I'm ready." 385 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,800 I will just kind of get in and see, like, if that energy is there 386 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:36,960 and where he wants to go with it. 387 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,560 There you go. There, four. Four. 388 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:43,920 Two more, two more. 389 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,440 I'm an accountant, so...pretty boring. 390 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:47,480 HE CHUCKLES 391 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,760 All of my friends know I am a virgin. 392 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:51,800 And actually, pretty embarrassingly, 393 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:54,040 I think all my co-workers know, as well, 394 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:57,120 cos you tell one person at work, and then everyone knows. 395 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,520 I don't have the confidence to properly get to know someone. 396 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:03,800 In an intimate moment, 397 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,440 I'm scared about what they're going to think of my body, 398 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,680 and what they're going to think of what I'm like, 399 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:12,160 and I've got to, like, start living my life properly. 400 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,680 Getting naked in the workshop was a huge step for Dave... 401 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:20,640 Hello. Hey. 402 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:23,960 ..but does it mean he's ready to take his therapy to the next level? 403 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:30,000 My suggestion would be to practise, like, touch and giving feedback. 404 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:33,040 OK. Sure? Yeah, sure. Yeah? OK. 405 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:34,800 I'll have you start with my arm. 406 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,480 I'll try long and slow. 407 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,280 And can you look at me while you do it? 408 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:45,560 Yeah, I can look at you. 409 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:46,720 Thank you. 410 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:52,040 Building up to sex with surrogate partner Kat 411 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:57,000 is a possibility IF Dave can master the basics and form a connection. 412 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:02,080 Am I OK to try and, sort of, go on top? 413 00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,120 Yeah. 414 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:05,720 Is that what you mean? 415 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:06,800 Yeah. Yeah, OK. Yeah. 416 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,640 And you can kiss, too. My mouth - if you want. OK. 417 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,120 I feel like this definitely isn't the best position. 418 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:16,280 I don't like the...where my arm is. 419 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,880 Are you self-conscious about our genitals touching each other? 420 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,120 Cos that's why your knee is in that position. THEY LAUGH 421 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:25,560 It's so obvious now you've... 422 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,520 Yeah, OK. But does that make you uncomfortable? 423 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:30,920 Um, subconsciously, yeah. Yeah, OK. 424 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:32,320 Do you want to try again with you on top, 425 00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:33,600 or do you want to try with me on top? 426 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,880 Can you go on top? Absolutely. Yeah. 427 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,720 And can you practise coming alive a little? 428 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:53,920 HE CHUCKLES 429 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,600 Yeah. Yeah? Cos yeah, I'm staying still, aren't I? Yeah. 430 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:57,640 HE CHUCKLES Yeah. 431 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:00,560 Try again? Yeah. Yeah, OK. 432 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:09,200 That feels good. 433 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:13,760 As Dave slowly opens up... 434 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:17,920 Go! 435 00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:21,680 Mine won! Oh, it came back. 436 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:26,320 ..the course is encouraging Charlotte to address her buried emotions. 437 00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:30,720 I was so large for such a long time. 438 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:33,080 You think everyone is judging you all the time... Yeah. 439 00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:35,720 ..because you're so used to being on the defensive, 440 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:37,440 cos you feel like you have to protect yourself. 441 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,840 Today, I saw a softer side of Charlotte. 442 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,600 I saw, like, the quivering of the lip. 443 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:51,440 And that was very challenging for her - like, to look at herself. 444 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:54,480 It was really hard for her to keep the inner image 445 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,960 that she has of herself in front of the mirror, 446 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,800 and that's something that so many people are struggling with. 447 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,680 At boarding school, I just wasn't fitting in, 448 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:08,480 and that's been a big thing for me my whole life. 449 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:09,680 And then everyone says, 450 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:13,840 "Oh, don't worry, when you go to uni, you'll find your people," 451 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,560 and then I went to uni, and then I didn't find my people. 452 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:20,320 So now - at almost 30 - it makes you doubt yourself. 453 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,720 The mirror workshop revealed that Charlotte's issues 454 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:27,160 are more than skin deep... 455 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:28,520 Hi. Hi. 456 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:29,680 How are you? 457 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:31,360 I'm good, thank you. 458 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:34,240 ..so the experts suggest clinical therapist Abby 459 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,360 tries to find out what's really going on. 460 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:39,720 I kind of want to check in with, you know, 461 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:41,640 the reasons that brought you here? 462 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,440 Um... 463 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:47,440 Sometimes I do still feel like I'm still this sort of young, you know, 464 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:50,040 sort of teenage girl, because I wasn't really friends with anyone 465 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:51,800 of the girls at the boarding school, 466 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:56,160 and also, because of my size, I was quite isolated. 467 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,600 Like, here's this part of you that feels emotionally trapped 468 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:05,040 in your adolescence. Do you feel like no-one sees you for you? 469 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:09,200 My perception of myself can be vastly different 470 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,600 to how other people see me. Mm-hm. 471 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:16,680 I feel like I'm trying to really just be as fearless as possible, 472 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,920 putting on what I call "The Charlotte Show." Ooh? 473 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:22,760 And it's like I think I'm giving off this image of me. 474 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,280 Like, sometimes I have to do it at work. Mm-hm. 475 00:24:26,360 --> 00:24:27,680 Then you're just working here. 476 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:40,240 You don't have to work for people's love and care. 477 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,920 People will love and care for you without performing. 478 00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:47,760 I don't know if you believe that, though. 479 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:50,880 What if you show up as vulnerable? 480 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:53,680 I don't know how to, kind of... 481 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:56,200 ..do that. We're going to get there. 482 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:58,960 We're going to get there. Yeah. 483 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:06,360 You can't really hurt something that isn't real, 484 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:12,280 but I've maybe been putting on "The Charlotte Show" too much. 485 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,400 I think the whole thing is about being seen. 486 00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:18,840 And I guess we're going to... 487 00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:21,320 ..see who sees me. 488 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:24,680 Yeah. SHE LAUGHS 489 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,800 It's day two of the body phase at the retreat, 490 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:38,840 and there are promising signs of change. 491 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:41,920 I feel like every session I have, 492 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,200 I come out feeling a bit better in some way. 493 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:48,640 And getting undressed, that is a massive thing for me. 494 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,000 I think I've achieved a lot, 495 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:53,520 and I know there's things that I'm more confident about, 496 00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:55,280 but I think there's still further for me to go. 497 00:25:57,360 --> 00:26:00,240 I'm definitely seeing the confidence level rise - 498 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:03,960 they're much more likely to try different tools, 499 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,200 they're really growing. 500 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,760 But progress for Zac can't come quick enough. 501 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:11,920 I'm feeling a little bit of frustration. 502 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:16,920 I'm hoping to make some more progress, and eventually sex. 503 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:21,520 It is the next step, and it's something I want to do, and... 504 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:24,280 ..you know, I'm not afraid to say that. 505 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,680 You can definitely tell that they are amping things up, aren't they? 506 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,200 Absolutely. And like, again, we've got to halfway. Mm. 507 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,760 I just want to be able to be... Able to give people compliments, 508 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:39,000 because I struggle with that. 509 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,200 Let's try that now. Yeah, OK. 510 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,040 I like your little nose, it's kind of cute. 511 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:47,360 Oh, thank you. I love your beard, I wish I could grow a beard like that, 512 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,920 it's phenomenal. Brilliant, isn't it? It is. 513 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:51,200 ZAC CHUCKLES 514 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:52,440 Let's think of one for the girls. 515 00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:57,680 In a bid to improve how he interacts with women, 516 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,400 Zac challenges himself with his own exercise. 517 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,440 One thing I am not very good at is giving sincere compliments, 518 00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:13,440 so, every day, I am going to come up with a new one for everyone. 519 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:15,160 ALL: Aw. That's sweet. 520 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:17,720 Emma ...I'm scared. 521 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:20,720 ..you have some incredible eyes. Thank you very much. 522 00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:23,000 It's amazing to stare into them. Thank you, Zac. 523 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,120 I really appreciate that. Thank you. 524 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:26,840 Louise, 525 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:28,480 you have a banging body, mate. 526 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:31,000 You're fucking sexy as hell. 527 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:33,600 Thanks. 528 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:35,280 Holly, 529 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,280 you can be so fucking funny sometimes, 530 00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:38,760 and you have the greatest expressions, 531 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:39,800 and it's hilarious. 532 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:43,440 Pia, you have the greatest smile, honestly - 533 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:45,920 when you're happy, it's wonderful. I love it. 534 00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,880 Taylor, you have a brilliant singing voice, 535 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,120 and you know the words to all the songs, it's fucking amazing. 536 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:53,440 Charlotte, you're always flirting with me, 537 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:55,200 but I know you'll say you're not, but you're a liar. 538 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:56,520 THEY CHUCKLE 539 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:57,960 All right? That's not a compliment! 540 00:27:58,000 --> 00:27:59,840 No, it is - and you're actually pretty good at it! 541 00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:02,280 OK. There we go. Whoo! 542 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:04,480 Zac may be pleased with his compliment session... 543 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:08,200 Thanks, Zac. I feel like mine needed to be reworded a bit, 544 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:09,520 but OK. 545 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,320 ..but not everyone is feeling the love. 546 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,560 Don't take this personally, but can you take me out 547 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:16,840 of tomorrow's compliment book? Yeah, I don't want to be in it. 548 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,760 OK, that's fine. Thank you, though. I appreciate it, but thank you. 549 00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:20,560 Don't worry about it. That's OK, 550 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:21,600 I hope you liked the one I gave you. 551 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:26,200 I compare myself enough to girls I see on social media, 552 00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:29,720 I don't want him to be feeding different qualities about us all 553 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:34,200 individually into my ear on a daily basis, him thinking it's helping me. 554 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:37,680 Thankfully for Emma, 555 00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:40,440 the boys and the girls are splitting up for today's workshop... 556 00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:44,360 I'm confused why we're taking the book. 557 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:47,120 I hope it's just, like, drawing, like, a life model. 558 00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:50,480 ..as it's become clear to the experts, 559 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,680 when it comes to the body, they need all the help they can get. 560 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,920 I've never had any contact with anything below a woman's waist. 561 00:28:57,960 --> 00:28:59,480 With my ex, I've, you know... 562 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:01,760 We touched up there, but I've never been... 563 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,680 I've never got that far. 564 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:06,800 I believe the clitoris is quite at the top, 565 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:10,040 though admittedly, I wasn't the best at biology in school, either. 566 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,520 If someone asked me, "Where's the clit?" 567 00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:15,760 I'm like, "I don't know." No, I need to use Google. 568 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:21,320 Today, we'll start with a little bit of anatomy. 569 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,240 I know a lot of you really, really wanted to learn 570 00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:26,160 how to touch a pussy. 571 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:29,120 Are you ready? 572 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:36,040 OK, this is the vaginal opening. 573 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:40,840 We have the outer lips, or labia majora. 574 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:44,000 I think the biggest mistake that I see men make 575 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:46,200 is they just think, "Oh, it's all about the clitoris," 576 00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:47,440 and so they just... 577 00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:49,080 You know, like, do a lot of this! SHE LAUGHS 578 00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:52,600 And it's quite painful, actually. 579 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:55,240 When you think of a vulva, 580 00:29:55,280 --> 00:30:01,120 think, like, "Oh, you know, I want to, like, pet the whole vulva." 581 00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,840 But there's only so much you can learn from a diagram. 582 00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:10,280 Kat is generously willing to take her panties off 583 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:13,560 and show you how a real vulva looks like. 584 00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,000 I think that show and tell is really important, 585 00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,720 because when you look at an actual vulva, 586 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:23,600 you're going to see it does look quite different 587 00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,200 than those quite sterile pictures. SHE LAUGHS 588 00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:31,360 {\an8}OK, so here you see the outer lips, the outer labia. 589 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:33,840 {\an8}Right here, and here. 590 00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:36,520 {\an8}And then, here and here 591 00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:37,560 {\an8}are the inner. 592 00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:42,280 {\an8}And there's the clitoris. 593 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,280 And then down here is the vaginal opening. 594 00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:48,320 Do you have any questions? 595 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,080 Can I just say, Kat, 596 00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,800 I really admire your courage for doing this, 597 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:57,920 cos you are basically doing this so we can learn, 598 00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:00,960 so thank you a lot for doing that, and, you know... 599 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,120 Yeah, thanks for saying that. 600 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:06,360 DANIELLE: OK. That's a lot for one day. 601 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,520 I think you deserve some rest! THEY LAUGH 602 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:10,000 Thank you. Goodbye. OK. 603 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:11,920 Bye, Danielle. Thank you. Bye. 604 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:16,920 Anyone take notes?No! THEY CHUCKLE 605 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:18,760 No, neither. I was paying attention. Yeah, I... 606 00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:20,280 I'm like, "I don't have time for notes!" 607 00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:21,440 I don't want to whip out a pen. 608 00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:23,000 It's good to hear from women who have had 609 00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:24,600 a lot of men make a lot of mistakes 610 00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:26,240 and to hear from that experience, 611 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:28,760 and to hear how to not fuck up like that. 612 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:29,920 Across the island, 613 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:33,040 the girls are also talking privates. 614 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:34,800 What do you think of pubic hair? 615 00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:36,560 I don't really have an opinion on it, yeah. 616 00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:40,200 Like, Joy for instance had pubic hair, and it looked really nice. 617 00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:42,200 It wasn't a lot though, it was a very... 618 00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:43,880 She had the...what was called the landing strip. 619 00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:46,280 It was shaped and I really liked that. 620 00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:48,320 Yeah, that's called a landing strip. A landing strip? Yeah. 621 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:51,760 I might go and get one of them, I think that looked very stylish. 622 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:53,240 Embrace it girl, yeah. 623 00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:56,320 But it's not the female body 624 00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:58,440 most of the girls need to get better acquainted with. 625 00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:03,240 Obviously, you have lessons in school about the way 626 00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:07,360 the body works but it's not really something that I've dived into. 627 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:11,560 Obviously I've kissed a couple of boys, but that's about it. 628 00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:15,520 I've had as much contact with the penis as I would like, 629 00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:17,960 which is very, very little. SHE LAUGHS 630 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:21,440 Hello. OK, welcome. 631 00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:24,200 Now we're going to invite up Thomas and Devah 632 00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:27,760 to give you a little bit of an anatomy lesson on penises. 633 00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:38,160 So, we've got the shaft of the penis. 634 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,160 Sometimes a penis, when it's erected, 635 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:41,880 it's not, like, super straight. 636 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,720 It can be a bit like this, like this. 637 00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:46,560 After yesterday's penis preview... 638 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:50,320 Getting used to doing this now. THEY CHUCKLE 639 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,480 Devah can now give the girls a proper guided tour. 640 00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,000 People might think that a penis is really sensitive 641 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,600 and, like, delicate or something, but it's not - 642 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:01,560 you can really apply a lot of pressure. It doesn't hurt, you know? 643 00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,400 This is obviously the shaft, here. 644 00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:07,160 This is the glands. 645 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:08,680 And this part back here, 646 00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:10,640 the frenulum - well, on me, anyway - 647 00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:11,840 it's the most sensitive part. 648 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:13,040 I don't know about you. Yeah? 649 00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:14,600 And this is the scrotum, obviously. 650 00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:16,840 Now, that is like playdough. THEY CHUCKLE 651 00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,280 That's why Jason always talks about playdough skin. Yeah. 652 00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:23,200 Does anyone have any questions? 653 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,960 Do you think prefer touch of, like, hands? 654 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,000 Or, like, someone's tongue? 655 00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:30,480 The best combination that I enjoy 656 00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:33,640 is when someone's using their hand, but also their mouth. 657 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:34,840 Right. 658 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:36,760 HE LAUGHS 659 00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:38,480 Thank you. Thank you. 660 00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:41,720 We'll see you later! 661 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:53,920 You all right? Hello! How's your morning been? 662 00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:57,920 It's been all right, we saw a vagina. Really? 663 00:33:57,960 --> 00:33:59,480 Did you see a penis? Yeah. 664 00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:01,800 Yeah. 665 00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:03,000 Speechless. 666 00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:04,720 It took my breath away, what can I say? 667 00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:09,560 Louise may be learning more about the body, 668 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:13,000 but the experts now want a window into her mind. 669 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:14,800 Louise is not an easy person to read - 670 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:16,920 in terms of how she feels or what she wants - 671 00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:21,880 but you can tell there's something big going on underneath the surface, 672 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:24,480 and that that needs to be dealt with. 673 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:27,320 To do that, they've asked Louise to keep a journal 674 00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,480 to help her understand herself better. 675 00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:32,040 How's the writing going? Good. 676 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:33,760 I feel like I have got quite a bit out. 677 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:39,480 So, my homework from Aisha was write my emotions down, 678 00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:42,280 and things I felt in the past and, like, repressed. 679 00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:46,880 I started with what I thought was, like, maybe the biggest factor. 680 00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:50,320 I know what it is, but I just can't express it. 681 00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,920 Louise has formed a bond with Aisha, 682 00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,440 but whether she's ready to open up remains to be seen. 683 00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:59,480 How are you feeling today? 684 00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:02,360 I kind of want to feel what I've wrote. 685 00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:03,480 SHE CHUCKLES Yum! 686 00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:07,240 I don't know. I thought, like, maybe reading it to you? Yeah! 687 00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:10,760 I just feel I'd just be able to let it all go, and I can move on. 688 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:11,920 So, taking a breath... 689 00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,480 THEY EXHALE 690 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:18,080 ..and when you're ready. 691 00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,160 I honestly don't even know where I should start, 692 00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:25,560 because I almost feel like there's just too much 693 00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,040 that could be playing a part... 694 00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:30,320 ..in why I am the way that I am. 695 00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:32,880 Pause, take a breath. 696 00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:37,760 I know I don't like being or feeling vulnerable, 697 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,680 and maybe that stems from repressing my emotions 698 00:35:40,720 --> 00:35:42,480 from quite early on in life. 699 00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:44,880 All thanks to my... 700 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:47,440 .."Dad." SHE CHUCKLES 701 00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:49,760 He was never really a big part of my life, 702 00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:52,720 he just left us for his next wife and their kids. 703 00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:55,600 Just pausing. 704 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,880 I always used to think "What's so bad about me 705 00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:07,640 "that even my biological father just doesn't want to know me?" 706 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:17,160 If I wasn't even good enough for my dad, 707 00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,720 then why would I be good enough for anybody else? 708 00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:31,560 My mum used to say, "You're not bothered about your dad, are you?" 709 00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:32,720 And stuff like... 710 00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:36,160 I'd say no to her, but a little part of me would be like, 711 00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:37,240 "But I do. " 712 00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:41,280 You were taking care of her, and now what are you doing? 713 00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:44,720 Now, you're taking care of you. 714 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:52,120 It does make me feel better that I've cried. Yeah. 715 00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:57,120 You're starting to build up again that sense of, 716 00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:01,120 "I'm important, I'm worthy of love and respect." 717 00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:06,440 Would you like a hug? Please. Yeah? 718 00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:14,560 I feel a lot better. A lot lighter, slightly happier. 719 00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:15,720 See you later. 720 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:18,880 Even though it is what seems like little steps, 721 00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:20,880 they are making a big difference. 722 00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:27,160 Keen for progress of his own, 723 00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:30,160 Zac's attention is still on his compliments list. 724 00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:32,440 Are you sure you don't want a compliment every day? 725 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:36,040 Yeah, no. Just because I've come here to try and steer myself away 726 00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:38,160 from not comparing myself to other girls. The thing is, I think... 727 00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:39,360 I do that enough at home on Instagram. 728 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:42,280 I think you and Louise are the two best-looking girls here. 729 00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:43,360 You don't want to be saying, like, 730 00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:45,440 "Ah, Louise you've got a banging body, Emma you've got nice eyes." 731 00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:46,520 HE CHUCKLES And then you said, 732 00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:48,680 "Pia, you've got a nice smile." I don't know what you did say 733 00:37:48,720 --> 00:37:50,280 about her. I'm not attracted to Pia, though. 734 00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:53,520 That's that what I'm trying to, like... Why...? 735 00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:56,120 Just put yourself in the position. But I'm also not going to lie... 736 00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:59,840 I don't like being compared to other people, do you know what I mean? 737 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:13,800 Woo! Woo-hoo-hoo! 738 00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:16,360 It's late afternoon on Virgin Island. 739 00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:18,960 Hi, hi, hi. 740 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:22,400 And Charlotte still has some body issues to conquer. 741 00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:26,200 So why didn't you go naked in front of the mirror? 742 00:38:26,240 --> 00:38:29,560 Charlotte Show. Mm. I'm noticing more and more, 743 00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,520 my issue is being vulnerable. You can't do it. 744 00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:34,200 It's hard for me. You can't do it. 745 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:39,480 About Charlotte, 746 00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:43,520 when she feels in control then she feels powerful. Mm. Yeah. 747 00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:46,440 I think the next steps for her is she needs 748 00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,240 to work on her body confidence 749 00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:52,320 and really kind of feeling at home in her new body. 750 00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:56,960 Hi! Hi. 751 00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,400 Over a few sessions, 752 00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:01,560 Charlotte has built a bond with surrogate partner Andre. 753 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:04,480 But is she ready for the radical next step? 754 00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:11,880 This is an opportunity to see my body, naked... Mm-hm. 755 00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:15,920 ..and for me to also see your body naked. 756 00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:19,880 I've never been naked in front of another person. 757 00:39:21,240 --> 00:39:23,640 The intimacy scares me. 758 00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:27,200 It's a lot if everything that I use, 759 00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:30,560 such as clothes and humour, has been sort of stripped away. 760 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:36,520 I guess I could try going topless first, 761 00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:40,800 and then I could see how I felt continuing on from there? 762 00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:43,600 That sounds great. Let's go ahead and do that. 763 00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:52,440 Hm. 764 00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:59,280 Your body is your body. If there is ever a desire 765 00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:03,440 to be in an intimate connection with someone... Yeah. 766 00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:08,400 ..there's a good chance that they're going to want to see your body. 767 00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:12,160 Yes. Huh. Erm... 768 00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:15,800 ..I think I feel comfortable taking off my top in this space. 769 00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:17,080 Thank you. 770 00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:28,840 SHE GIGGLES How does it feel?It's refreshing, oh, my God. 771 00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,840 You have beautiful breasts. Thank you. 772 00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:39,040 How is your energy if we were to remove our bottoms? 773 00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:43,160 I think I'm feeling OK to do it. Would you like me to turn around? 774 00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:44,640 Yes, please. OK. 775 00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:05,240 And just keep breathing, know that you are safe here. 776 00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:09,320 OK. OK? Yeah. 777 00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:16,920 We did it. 778 00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:19,000 We're naked! We're naked! Oh, my God! 779 00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:27,320 The change in Charlotte is beyond words, 780 00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:31,360 and there's still room for her to feel comfort 781 00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:33,160 and safety in her body 782 00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:36,240 knowing that she is worthy of pleasure. 783 00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:39,400 So proud of you. Aw, thank you so much. 784 00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:42,040 I built that level of trust with Andre 785 00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:44,360 that I felt that I could be vulnerable, 786 00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:46,720 that I could be naked with him, 787 00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:49,200 and that he was going to sort of embrace all the little parts 788 00:41:49,240 --> 00:41:52,920 of myself that I don't fully love all the time. 789 00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:56,480 How was that? 790 00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:58,560 So, we stripped down naked and it was this moment of, 791 00:41:58,600 --> 00:41:59,640 like, we did it! 792 00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:02,440 And I was like, "We're naked! Yay!" Weh! 793 00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,920 And I just felt like Dora the Explorer, 794 00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:07,120 when you've, like, conquered whatever you need to do 795 00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:10,040 with Dora and she goes, "You did it, you did it!" Yeah. 796 00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:13,400 Never seen that episode before, where the two get naked in a tepee. 797 00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:15,480 THEY LAUGH 798 00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:18,520 Whilst Charlotte is moving on, 799 00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:22,560 some of the boys can't stop thinking about this morning's workshop. 800 00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:23,640 You know what? 801 00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:26,200 I wanted to know how to properly touch a vagina, 802 00:42:26,240 --> 00:42:29,880 and I feel there were some good tips there. 803 00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:31,480 Yeah, that's important information. 804 00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:35,720 The thing is, if we gain anything, it's a plus. It's a plus. 805 00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:41,360 Dave was very interesting. I do think he took a lot out of it. 806 00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:43,640 I think so too. Yeah. He's really interested in technique. 807 00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:45,640 It was super educational for him. 808 00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:49,320 He really wants to know more, he's thirsty for the knowledge. 809 00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:54,640 Dave may be interested in the theory, but expert Kat needs 810 00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:57,880 to find out if he's ready for a practical. 811 00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:00,320 How are you feeling about genital touching? 812 00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,160 Erm.. 813 00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:06,400 ..OK-ish. 814 00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:08,800 Say more. 815 00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:13,800 Erm, I know I need to do things I'm not 100% comfortable with. Mm-hm. 816 00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:17,240 But everything that I've done that I haven't been comfortable with, 817 00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:20,360 I've ended up being comfortable with, if that makes sense. Yeah. 818 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:26,040 To get Dave relaxed, Kat starts with some kissing. 819 00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:33,120 But before progressing to the next stage... 820 00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:37,800 ..he's got to learn one crucial detail. 821 00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:40,320 You have to get naked too. Oh, OK. Sorry. 822 00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:43,400 Yeah! If you want to. Yeah. 823 00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:48,040 Do you have a preference for who does what first? 824 00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:52,200 Maybe, can you touch me first? Yeah, OK. Go ahead and lie down. 825 00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:57,760 I think touching someone in an intimate way is probably more 826 00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:01,040 nerve-racking than me being touched, because I don't know if I'm 827 00:44:01,080 --> 00:44:05,240 going to be doing it right or if they're going to be enjoying it. 828 00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:13,640 Try to just close your eyes, feel into it. 829 00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:27,760 If Dave is to eventually lose his virginity on the island... 830 00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:30,480 Ready to switch? Yeah. 831 00:44:30,520 --> 00:44:33,200 ..he needs to learn to give, as well as receive. 832 00:44:33,240 --> 00:44:35,160 I mean, it's always weird the first time, 833 00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:37,440 so I feel like you should just, kind of, try. 834 00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,520 Get used to what it feels like. 835 00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:47,120 It did not feel how I expected. 836 00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:53,520 How did you expect it to feel? 837 00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:54,760 I don't know. Not that. 838 00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:07,080 Yeah. 839 00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:11,760 And then down at the bottom, yeah, that's, like, the vaginal opening. 840 00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:15,760 Yeah, that feels good. 841 00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:24,960 I feel more mature now. Good. 842 00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:31,320 Dave's been gone for an hour. 843 00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:36,240 Hi. Have you had your one-to-one? Erm, I did. Was it good? 844 00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:37,760 It was quite good, actually. 845 00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:40,160 Everyone's curious about his session. 846 00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:41,880 With who? Kat. 847 00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:44,440 But a gentleman never tells. 848 00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:47,000 OK. How did that go? Just educational. 849 00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:49,520 In what way? 850 00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:52,120 He doesn't want to say. 851 00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:54,160 It was good. We got through a lot. 852 00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:56,400 So I think this is the most progress I've made in a session. 853 00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:58,600 There was so much I didn't know, 854 00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:00,360 so I feel like I made a big step. 855 00:46:05,240 --> 00:46:06,440 Next time... 856 00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:07,480 Oh, yes. 857 00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:08,760 ..lessons take to the bed. 858 00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:10,080 I like that. 859 00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:11,640 And one-on-ones... 860 00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:14,840 I'm going to go on your G-spot area. SHE MOANS LIGHTLY 861 00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:16,240 ..build up a head of steam. 862 00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:22,640 I don't know if you find that intimidating. 863 00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:25,600 But sex isn't always simple. 864 00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:28,280 We'll get dressed, that's enough for today. 865 00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:34,120 Subtitles by Red Bee Media 865 00:46:35,305 --> 00:47:35,501 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org