"The Brak Show" We Ski in Peace

1 00:00:03,479 --> 00:00:07,016 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP 2 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:15,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 3 00:00:32,675 --> 00:00:36,579 - OK, DAD. I'M ALL READY. - GOOD FOR YOU. 4 00:00:37,180 --> 00:00:39,248 - COME ON, DAD. DON'T YOU REMEMBER? 5 00:00:39,315 --> 00:00:42,251 IT'S TAKE YOUR SON TO WORK DAY TODAY. 6 00:00:42,318 --> 00:00:43,753 - OH, RIGHT. THAT. 7 00:00:43,820 --> 00:00:46,155 HAVE A SEAT. LET ME SHOW YOU AROUND. 8 00:00:46,222 --> 00:00:47,123 - ALL RIGHT. 9 00:00:47,190 --> 00:00:50,259 - SO, HERE IS THE LIVING SECTION. 10 00:00:50,326 --> 00:00:52,662 THERE'S ALSO HEALTH, THE COMICS... 11 00:00:52,728 --> 00:00:55,031 OOH, LOOK, IT'S AN ADULT UNDERWEAR ADVERTISEMENT. 12 00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:57,099 TOUR'S OVER! - BUT, DAD! 13 00:00:57,166 --> 00:00:58,301 - WORKING. - BUT-- 14 00:00:58,367 --> 00:00:59,435 - AH, HERE'S MY SECRETARY. 15 00:00:59,502 --> 00:01:02,672 SECRETARY MOTHER, PLACE THIS MAN UNDER KITCHEN ARREST. 16 00:01:02,738 --> 00:01:04,941 HE'S STEALING SECRETS FROM NANCY AND SLUGGO. 17 00:01:05,007 --> 00:01:06,843 PUT HIM IN THE FRIDGE. SEE WHAT HE KNOWS. 18 00:01:06,909 --> 00:01:09,445 - SECRETARY? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 19 00:01:09,512 --> 00:01:12,215 - NANCY AND SLUGGO WORK FOR DAD. - NO, THEY DON'T, 20 00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:15,284 BECAUSE DAD HASN'T WORKED A DAY IN 15 YEARS. 21 00:01:15,351 --> 00:01:18,287 WHY DO YOU THINK YOU WEAR THE SAME CLOTHES EVERY DAY? 22 00:01:18,354 --> 00:01:21,424 - SO I'LL RECOGNIZE ME? - NO, DEAR. 23 00:01:21,491 --> 00:01:23,626 IT'S BECAUSE YOUR FATHER IS TOO LAZY TO WORK. 24 00:01:23,693 --> 00:01:26,496 - WHY SHOULD I WORK WHEN WE HAVE PIRATE RELATIVES? 25 00:01:26,562 --> 00:01:27,864 I SAY LET THEM DO THE WORK. 26 00:01:27,930 --> 00:01:29,165 WE DON'T HAVE PIRATE RELATIVES. 27 00:01:29,232 --> 00:01:33,302 I DIDN'T SAY "PIRATES." I SAID BANKERS AND LOAN OFFICERS. 28 00:01:33,369 --> 00:01:37,073 AM I TALKING TO A GHOST ON THE WALL ON A WINDY DAY, OR WHAT? 29 00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:39,675 - IS THAT WHY MY LUNCH MONEY IS MADE OF WOOD 30 00:01:39,742 --> 00:01:42,078 AND MARBLES WITH NUMBERS PAINTED ON THEM? 31 00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:44,947 - I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION. 32 00:01:45,014 --> 00:01:46,983 EVERYBODY, OUT OF MY OFFICE! 33 00:01:47,049 --> 00:01:48,885 - AAH! 34 00:01:48,951 --> 00:01:51,487 DOES THAT MEAN ME, TOO? - EVERYBODY! 35 00:02:01,931 --> 00:02:03,299 YOUR CEILING'S BROKEN. 36 00:02:03,366 --> 00:02:06,569 - GET UP THERE AND FIX IT! - YEAH, WELL... 37 00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:10,072 - I THOUGHT I HANDLED THAT PRETTY WELL. 38 00:02:10,139 --> 00:02:11,073 - NO, YOU DIDN'T. 39 00:02:11,140 --> 00:02:12,708 YOU'RE SETTING A TERRIBLE EXAMPLE, 40 00:02:12,775 --> 00:02:14,210 LYING TO YOUR SON ABOUT HAVING A JOB. 41 00:02:14,277 --> 00:02:17,647 - I'M TRYING TO SHOW HIM THAT THERE ARE BAD MEN IN THIS WORLD, 42 00:02:17,713 --> 00:02:23,719 AND THAT THOSE BAD MEN DESERVE TO BE KISSED BY PRETTY LADIES LIKE YOU-- 43 00:02:23,786 --> 00:02:25,588 UNDERNEATH THEIR WORK SHOES. 44 00:02:25,655 --> 00:02:27,089 - OOH, YOU ARE INCORRIGIBLE. 45 00:02:27,156 --> 00:02:31,260 IT IS HIGH TIME YOU FOUND A JOB LIKE THE REST OF THE MEN IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD. 46 00:02:31,327 --> 00:02:33,596 - YOU KNOW WHAT, MOTHER? YOU'RE RIGHT. 47 00:02:33,663 --> 00:02:37,066 I WILL BE BACK SHORTLY WITH A NEW JOB. 48 00:02:37,133 --> 00:02:39,835 LOOK, A BOAT! - OH, MY GOD! 49 00:02:39,902 --> 00:02:42,438 - I KNOW. THAT'S WHAT I SAID WHEN I SAW IT, TOO. 50 00:02:42,505 --> 00:02:45,608 LOOK AT IT, MOTHER. IT'S SO FRIGGIN' SWEET! 51 00:02:45,675 --> 00:02:46,809 - I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS. 52 00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:50,146 YOU GO OUT TO FIND A JOB AND YOU COME BACK WITH A SKI BOAT?! 53 00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:53,716 - YES. - WHERE DID YOU GET THE MONEY FOR THIS? 54 00:02:53,783 --> 00:02:57,720 - UM...WELL... 55 00:02:57,787 --> 00:03:02,558 UH...WELL...UM... 56 00:03:02,625 --> 00:03:04,126 THAT IS TO SAY... 57 00:03:04,193 --> 00:03:06,429 - THAT WAS BRAK'S COLLEGE FUND! 58 00:03:06,495 --> 00:03:09,231 - HA HA! HEY, NOW, BABY. 59 00:03:09,298 --> 00:03:11,567 LET'S KEEP IT "REAL" HERE. 60 00:03:11,634 --> 00:03:15,638 DOES BRAK LOOK LIKE "COLLEGE MATERIAL" TO YOU? 61 00:03:15,705 --> 00:03:20,109 - ♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO ♪ 62 00:03:21,811 --> 00:03:25,047 - COME ON, BABY. YOU'RE GOING TO LOOK SO HOT ON THAT SET OF SKIS. 63 00:03:25,114 --> 00:03:28,017 - ENOUGH! YOU ARE TO RETURN THAT BOAT AND FIND A JOB 64 00:03:28,084 --> 00:03:31,554 FIRST THING IN THE MORNING OR I'M CALLING IMMIGRATION. 65 00:03:31,621 --> 00:03:33,022 ALL RIGHT, MOTHER. 66 00:03:33,089 --> 00:03:35,291 LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 67 00:03:35,358 --> 00:03:38,461 CHECK THIS OUT. 68 00:03:39,028 --> 00:03:40,196 - AAH! WHAT'S HAPPENING? 69 00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:44,467 - DO NOT BE FRIGHTENED, DARLING. YOU SEE, I ALREADY HAVE A JOB. 70 00:03:44,533 --> 00:03:48,304 IN FACT, RIGHT NOW I AM DEVISING A PLAN TO SAVE THE WORLD 71 00:03:48,371 --> 00:03:53,142 FROM AN INVASION OF THE GIANT KILLER ANT ARMY. 72 00:03:54,877 --> 00:03:58,948 APPROVE. DISAPPROVE. AFFIRMATIVE. DIS-AFFIRMATIVE. 73 00:03:59,015 --> 00:04:00,616 MORE OF THIS. LESS OF THAT. 74 00:04:00,683 --> 00:04:02,218 DID YOU GET YOUR HAIR CUT? VERY NICE! 75 00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:05,187 REBUILD IT. MAG WHEELS. - I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. 76 00:04:05,254 --> 00:04:10,459 WHO ARE THESE-- - WRONG! THAT IS NOT WHAT GIANT KILLER ANTS LOOK LIKE. 77 00:04:10,526 --> 00:04:12,695 THEY NEVER, EVER WEAR HATS. 78 00:04:12,762 --> 00:04:15,665 - THIS IS SO STRANGE. 79 00:04:15,731 --> 00:04:20,770 - NO, MOTHER. THIS IS STRANGE. 80 00:04:22,705 --> 00:04:24,407 - BANANA! - LOOK AT MY PAPER! 81 00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:27,510 - DON'T I LOOK PRETTY? - HA HA HA! 82 00:04:27,576 --> 00:04:30,880 - I'M BAKING COOKIES. DON'T I LOOK PRETTY? 83 00:04:30,946 --> 00:04:34,383 - WHAT IS THIS PLACE-- - MOTHER, NO! 84 00:04:45,561 --> 00:04:48,297 - SO, EVERY TIME I LEAVE THE HOUSE... 85 00:04:48,364 --> 00:04:50,966 - EXACTLY. THE INTERNET. 86 00:04:51,033 --> 00:04:52,668 WHERE ARE WE GOING? 87 00:04:52,735 --> 00:04:57,139 - I FOUND YOU A REAL JOB. ONE THAT INVOLVES REAL PEOPLE, REAL SITUATIONS, AND REAL MONEY. 88 00:04:57,206 --> 00:05:00,242 - BUT, MOTHER, WHO WILL DEFEAT THE HUGINATORS OF COLLOSSICON 89 00:05:00,309 --> 00:05:04,447 OR THE PREHISTORIC SEA DEMONS LIVING IN OUR TIMES? 90 00:05:05,614 --> 00:05:07,650 - GET TO WORK! 91 00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:19,995 - SO THAT'S THE HOT FUDGE MACHINE. 92 00:05:20,062 --> 00:05:22,465 AND THIS IS THE SPRINKLE BUCKET. 93 00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:26,602 I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO PUT THAT OUT. 94 00:05:26,669 --> 00:05:29,638 - YEAH. I'M GOING ON A BREAK. - OH, NO, YOU'RE NOT. 95 00:05:29,705 --> 00:05:30,673 WE JUST OPENED, 96 00:05:30,740 --> 00:05:32,708 AND YOU NEED TO BE OUT HERE SO WE CAN BOOST SALES. 97 00:05:32,775 --> 00:05:36,645 - WHAT'S THE POINT? THE GOVERNMENT'S GOING TO TAKE 3/4 OF OUR PROFITS 98 00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:38,481 TO BUILD ROBOTROIDS TO HUNT US DOWN 99 00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:42,251 WHILE WE'RE ON VACATION AND KILL US IN OUR BATHING SUITS. 100 00:05:42,318 --> 00:05:44,353 - HMM. 101 00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:49,225 SAY, ISN'T IT WEIRD HAVING A TEENAGE BOY, SUCH AS MYSELF, 102 00:05:49,291 --> 00:05:50,292 AS YOUR MANAGER? 103 00:05:50,359 --> 00:05:53,129 WHEN MY HAIR ELEVATES, 104 00:05:53,195 --> 00:05:56,465 YOU CAN SEE MY BRAIN THROUGH A CLEAR PLASTIC BUBBLE. 105 00:05:56,532 --> 00:05:58,701 THAT, MY FRIEND, IS WEIRD. 106 00:05:58,768 --> 00:06:01,604 - YEAH, OK. 107 00:06:02,505 --> 00:06:06,575 WELL, I THINK I'LL GO TO THE BACK AND EAT A SLEEVE OF SUGAR CONES. 108 00:06:06,642 --> 00:06:10,212 I FIND THEM UTTERLY DELICIOUS. 109 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:11,380 - HELLO! 110 00:06:11,447 --> 00:06:16,018 I WOULD LIKE AN ICE CREAM SUNDAE OF THE HOT FUDGE VARIETY. 111 00:06:19,822 --> 00:06:21,390 - YEAH. WE DON'T SELL ICE CREAM. 112 00:06:21,457 --> 00:06:24,527 - WELL, WHAT IS THAT RIGHT NEXT TO YOU? 113 00:06:29,165 --> 00:06:30,099 - WHY DID YOU DO THAT? 114 00:06:30,166 --> 00:06:32,401 - COULD YOU NOT SEE THAT IT WAS ABOUT TO ROB US? 115 00:06:32,468 --> 00:06:34,503 - UHH! I DEMAND TO SEE THE MANAGER. 116 00:06:34,570 --> 00:06:36,806 - SOMEBODY THREW UP IN THE BACK. 117 00:06:36,872 --> 00:06:37,673 - THERE HE IS. 118 00:06:37,740 --> 00:06:39,341 - I WOULD LIKE TO REGISTER A COMPLAINT. 119 00:06:39,408 --> 00:06:41,277 THIS EMPLOYEE HAS TREATED ME RUDELY. 120 00:06:41,343 --> 00:06:42,912 HOW DO YOU PLAN TO MAKE RESTITUTION? 121 00:06:42,978 --> 00:06:46,415 - WELL, WE COULD SWEEP UP SOME OF THAT VOMIT INTO A CONE. 122 00:06:46,482 --> 00:06:47,583 HOW WOULD THAT SUIT YOU? 123 00:06:47,650 --> 00:06:50,753 - THAT IS EXTREMELY UNSANITARY, AND UNFLAVORFUL. 124 00:06:50,820 --> 00:06:54,056 I WOULD LIKE TO FILL OUT A CUSTOMER SURVEY CARD. RIGHT NOW! 125 00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:56,859 - OK. FINE. I'LL READ IT. YOU GIVE ME THE ANSWERS. 126 00:06:56,926 --> 00:06:59,929 "I, THE CUSTOMER, WAS A JERK ON PURPOSE. 127 00:06:59,995 --> 00:07:02,198 "I HAD A BAD ATTITUDE WHEN I CAME IN. 128 00:07:02,264 --> 00:07:06,302 AGREE, STRONGLY AGREE, OR SUPER-STRONGLY AGREE." 129 00:07:06,368 --> 00:07:08,804 - ISN'T "DISAGREE" ON THERE? - NO. NEXT QUESTION. 130 00:07:08,871 --> 00:07:14,009 "MY DEMANDS WERE UNREASONABLE, AND I PRESENTED THEM WITH A VERY POOR ATTITUDE 131 00:07:14,076 --> 00:07:17,079 BECAUSE OF MY POOR UPBRINGING ON A ROBOT FARM." 132 00:07:17,146 --> 00:07:19,281 - THAT'S NOT WHAT IT SAYS. LET ME SEE IT. 133 00:07:19,348 --> 00:07:20,816 WHOOPS. SOMEBODY ATE IT. 134 00:07:20,883 --> 00:07:24,220 - THIS IS THE WORST ICE CREAM STORE IN THE HISTORY OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM. 135 00:07:24,286 --> 00:07:27,323 - UH, HERE. HAVE THIS COUPON TO SHUT YOU UP. 136 00:07:27,389 --> 00:07:29,592 - THANK YOU. 137 00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:34,597 WHAT WILL THIS GET ME? - MY DRY-CLEANING. 138 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:37,833 - THANK YOU. I'M SORRY. 139 00:07:39,335 --> 00:07:42,204 - DID I HEAR SOME GUNSHOTS OUT HERE? 140 00:07:42,271 --> 00:07:43,939 - YEAH. THAT WAS ME. 141 00:07:44,006 --> 00:07:45,107 - REALLY? 142 00:07:45,174 --> 00:07:48,177 I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GONNA WORK OUT HERE. 143 00:07:48,244 --> 00:07:50,012 OH, NO! - YOU! 144 00:07:51,213 --> 00:07:55,217 - OW! OW! OUCH! MY LITTLE... 145 00:07:57,419 --> 00:07:58,888 - HEY, DAD. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 146 00:07:58,954 --> 00:08:01,657 - WELL, SON, YOUR MOTHER FORCED ME TO GET A JOB. 147 00:08:01,724 --> 00:08:03,792 AREN'T YOU PROUD OF THAT? - AND HOW! 148 00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:08,230 MY DAD--TELLING ALL THIS ICE CREAM WHAT TO DO. 149 00:08:08,797 --> 00:08:13,636 ASSISTANT TELLER OF ALL THIS ICE CREAM WHAT TO DO? 150 00:08:14,603 --> 00:08:18,207 UNDERCOVER AGENT SPECIALIZING IN INVESTIGATING FLAVORS 151 00:08:18,274 --> 00:08:22,077 FOR FLAVOR COMMAND DOWN AT FROZEN HEADQUARTERS? 152 00:08:22,144 --> 00:08:23,646 - YEAH. I WISH. 153 00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:27,049 - IT'S OK, DAD. I STILL LOVE YOU. 154 00:08:27,116 --> 00:08:31,620 BRAK, "LOVE" IS A WORD THAT ONCE SPOKEN TO A WOMAN 155 00:08:31,687 --> 00:08:33,522 CANNOT BE RETRACTED, 156 00:08:33,589 --> 00:08:35,557 BECAUSE THEY REMEMBER THOSE THINGS 157 00:08:35,624 --> 00:08:39,295 AND THEY OFTEN MARRY YOU FOR IT. 158 00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:48,237 THEN THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU TAKE EXIT 42B, 159 00:08:48,304 --> 00:08:52,308 TURN LEFT AND GO .2 MILES FOR THE BEST CHICKEN BISCUITS IN TOWN, 160 00:08:52,374 --> 00:08:56,979 AND ALL BECAUSE THE BEST SHOES FROM THE BEST SHOE DESIGNERS 161 00:08:57,046 --> 00:08:59,415 ARE ALWAYS 30% OFF. 162 00:08:59,481 --> 00:09:01,350 - WHAT'S THAT MEAN, DAD? 163 00:09:01,417 --> 00:09:05,821 - IT MEANS TURN YOUR HOUSE INTO CASH. 164 00:09:13,429 --> 00:09:15,164 HOLY CRAP! THEY DO WEAR HATS. 165 00:09:15,230 --> 00:09:17,967 AAH! 166 00:09:19,134 --> 00:09:21,904 OW! OW OW OW! OW! 167 00:09:21,971 --> 00:09:25,541 - AAH! DID YOU SEE THAT? THEY ATE HIM IN ONE BITE! 168 00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:29,345 - I CAN'T SAY I BLAME THEM. HE WAS SWEATING PURE FUDGE. 169 00:09:31,246 --> 00:09:34,016 - ALL RIGHT. I'M LEAVING. 170 00:09:34,883 --> 00:09:35,718 SUCKERS! 171 00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:38,053 - HE MADE IT, DAD. LET'S MAKE A RUN FOR IT. 172 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,521 - IT'LL NEVER WORK, SON. 173 00:09:39,588 --> 00:09:43,926 EVERYONE KNOWS THE BACK DOOR MANEUVER ONLY WORKS ONCE ON GIANT KILLER ANTS. 174 00:09:43,993 --> 00:09:45,227 - THEN WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? 175 00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:47,663 - WELL, IF THAT DAMN ICE CREAM HAD NOT TRIED TO ROB ME, 176 00:09:47,730 --> 00:09:51,066 WE WOULD STILL HAVE SOME AMMO LEFT TO DEFEND OURSELVES WITH. 177 00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:53,769 - CAN'T YOU GO OUTSIDE AND REASON WITH THEM? 178 00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:58,273 - I DON'T THINK SO. 179 00:09:58,340 --> 00:10:01,210 I GUESS IT'S OVER, THEN. 180 00:10:01,276 --> 00:10:03,278 - WELL, TECHNICALLY, IT'S NOT OVER. 181 00:10:03,345 --> 00:10:06,148 FIRST, THEY HAVE TO BREAK IN AND CHASE US DOWN. 182 00:10:06,215 --> 00:10:07,383 THEY'LL PROBABLY GET YOU FIRST, 183 00:10:07,449 --> 00:10:09,651 BECAUSE YOU'LL STOP TO SING A SONG ABOUT IT. 184 00:10:09,718 --> 00:10:10,753 - THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 185 00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:14,123 ♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO ♪ 186 00:10:14,189 --> 00:10:16,825 ♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO-- ♪ 187 00:10:16,892 --> 00:10:18,027 - HEY, WAIT A MINUTE! 188 00:10:18,093 --> 00:10:20,763 ARE THOSE SKIS? 189 00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:23,098 SO, WHOSE SKIS? 190 00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:24,066 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 191 00:10:24,133 --> 00:10:26,301 YOU WANT TO KNOW WHICH ONE OF US OWNS THE SKIS 192 00:10:26,368 --> 00:10:27,803 OR WHICH ONE OF US LIKES TO SKI THE MOST? 193 00:10:27,870 --> 00:10:31,040 'CAUSE I THINK IT'S ME BUT, YOU KNOW, CHARLIE THINKS IT'S HIM. 194 00:10:31,106 --> 00:10:33,375 - WELL, WE'LL JUST SEE ABOUT THAT, 195 00:10:33,442 --> 00:10:35,110 IF WE EVER FIND A BOAT. 196 00:10:35,177 --> 00:10:39,148 I WILL OUT-SKI YOU ALL! REALLY! 197 00:10:39,481 --> 00:10:41,250 - HE'S JUST PISSED OFF WE DON'T HAVE A BOAT. 198 00:10:41,316 --> 00:10:45,220 DUDES, IF WE COULD SKI, WE WOULD TOTALLY SKI IN PEACE. 199 00:10:45,287 --> 00:10:48,424 - HEY, GIANT ANTS WITH CAR-DESTROYING LASER BEAM EYES, 200 00:10:48,490 --> 00:10:49,825 MY DAD HAS A BOAT. 201 00:10:49,892 --> 00:10:55,764 - WE ARE GOING TO MAKE A KABILLION DOLLARS WITH THESE GIANT SKIING ANTS. 202 00:10:55,831 --> 00:10:58,300 7, TIGHTEN UP! 203 00:11:02,571 --> 00:11:03,772 - BANANA, BANANA. - YES. HA HA HA! 204 00:11:03,839 --> 00:11:06,542 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP 205 00:11:06,608 --> 00:11:10,179 CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org-- 206 00:11:10,245 --> 00:11:12,481 - BANANA, BANANA, BANANA... - HA HA HA! 207 00:11:12,548 --> 00:11:14,283 THE INTERNET. - SUCKERS! 208 00:11:14,349 --> 00:11:15,751 - BANANA. - HA HA HA! 209 00:11:15,818 --> 00:11:16,752 THE INTERNET. EVERYBODY... 210 00:11:16,819 --> 00:11:19,688 - BANANA. - THE INTERNET. 211 00:11:20,305 --> 00:12:20,748