"The PJs" Cliffhangin' with Mr. Super

1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 The Pjs - Cliffhangin' With Mr Super IMDB ID#0182621 DDDBBB, v1.0, 08/03/25 23.976 FPS 2 00:00:00,870 --> 00:00:02,930 Previously on the PJs. 3 00:00:02,950 --> 00:00:04,890 But that's not what daddy's will says! 4 00:00:05,290 --> 00:00:06,030 I don't care! 5 00:00:06,270 --> 00:00:09,770 I want what's mine and nobody's gonna stand in my way! 6 00:00:09,990 --> 00:00:11,170 You witch! 7 00:00:18,030 --> 00:00:19,030 Nola! 8 00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:21,630 Juicy! How could you? 9 00:00:22,970 --> 00:00:23,570 Calvin! 10 00:00:23,571 --> 00:00:24,571 Wait! 11 00:00:25,470 --> 00:00:28,790 Oh! Why must you destroy everything? 12 00:00:32,390 --> 00:00:36,907 Well, Mr. Stubbs, as the janitor of Mrs. Avery's building, the responsibility 13 00:00:36,931 --> 00:00:41,030 of whether or not to pull the plug rests squarely on your shoulders. 14 00:00:41,854 --> 00:00:43,354 He he he... 15 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:51,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 16 00:01:13,590 --> 00:01:16,670 Who was the 16th president of the United States? 17 00:01:19,150 --> 00:01:20,350 Um... Abe? 18 00:01:21,670 --> 00:01:22,670 Vigoda? 19 00:01:22,710 --> 00:01:25,550 Man, you are gonna fail that citizenship test! 20 00:01:26,310 --> 00:01:28,450 You're too ignorant to be a United States-ican! 21 00:01:29,270 --> 00:01:29,910 Thurgood. 22 00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:31,330 Don't be so mean. 23 00:01:31,610 --> 00:01:35,010 If she fails the test this time, she'll be deported. 24 00:01:35,850 --> 00:01:37,270 That's probably the I.N.S. now. 25 00:01:37,550 --> 00:01:38,570 She's in here, boys! 26 00:01:38,810 --> 00:01:39,810 Take her away! 27 00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:41,290 Hey! 28 00:01:41,830 --> 00:01:43,210 Hey, brother-in-law. 29 00:01:44,030 --> 00:01:45,670 Oh, you're having company? 30 00:01:45,950 --> 00:01:46,650 That's right, Haiti. 31 00:01:46,830 --> 00:01:49,290 This dinner party's for married U.S. citizens only. 32 00:01:49,450 --> 00:01:51,790 And you don't fit either description, so out you go! 33 00:01:52,410 --> 00:01:53,670 You're right on time. 34 00:01:54,150 --> 00:01:55,330 Dinner's almost ready. 35 00:01:55,670 --> 00:01:56,790 And we brought the dessert. 36 00:01:57,090 --> 00:02:00,870 Apple pie. Caution. The filling may be hot. 37 00:02:01,470 --> 00:02:03,430 How are four people supposed to eat this? 38 00:02:03,670 --> 00:02:06,350 Yeah. Nice going, Mayor McCheap. 39 00:02:06,610 --> 00:02:07,850 Hey, money's tight. 40 00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:10,670 Maybe it wouldn't be so tight if you got a job! 41 00:02:10,950 --> 00:02:14,490 The job market is very competitive right now for a man of my skills. 42 00:02:14,870 --> 00:02:16,550 There's a lot of kids on summer vacation. 43 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:17,350 Great! 44 00:02:17,610 --> 00:02:22,090 30 billion Koreans in the world and I had to pick the one without a career! 45 00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:24,710 I'm not taking any more of this! 46 00:02:25,570 --> 00:02:27,070 Don't tell me what to do! 47 00:02:28,630 --> 00:02:30,530 Thurgood, maybe you should go after him. 48 00:02:32,090 --> 00:02:33,190 Go after what now? 49 00:02:34,690 --> 00:02:36,670 Look at what you gone and done, Lucky! 50 00:02:37,350 --> 00:02:38,670 Bad, bad dog! 51 00:02:39,690 --> 00:02:40,690 Wait a minute. 52 00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,210 Oops. Sorry, my bad. 53 00:02:48,810 --> 00:02:51,110 Hi, angels. How are you? 54 00:02:51,190 --> 00:02:53,870 We found this package for you down by the mailboxes. 55 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:58,280 Oh, my God! 56 00:02:59,604 --> 00:03:03,104 Good god woman! That's pie you're dropping! 57 00:03:04,128 --> 00:03:06,128 Ughh, and it's Key Lime! 58 00:03:07,750 --> 00:03:12,290 Oh, you kids just run along and play buck buck. 59 00:03:12,730 --> 00:03:15,505 Miss Avery has to... 60 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,910 Big Wally. 61 00:03:18,790 --> 00:03:20,890 Dang. She really seemed upset. 62 00:03:21,450 --> 00:03:22,970 What do you think we should do? 63 00:03:23,650 --> 00:03:24,650 I don't know. 64 00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:25,750 Wanna go play? 65 00:03:25,930 --> 00:03:26,930 Okay. 66 00:03:27,350 --> 00:03:28,350 Watch it now. 67 00:03:28,530 --> 00:03:29,530 Oh, sorry, mister. 68 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:30,930 That's okay, boys. 69 00:03:30,931 --> 00:03:31,931 Peace. 70 00:03:35,350 --> 00:03:38,550 Juicy, did you notice anything weird about that guy? 71 00:03:38,790 --> 00:03:41,790 No. He seemed like a perfectly normal guy in a suit. 72 00:03:42,050 --> 00:03:43,050 Exactly! 73 00:03:43,110 --> 00:03:45,330 I mean, who wears a suit in the projects? 74 00:03:45,690 --> 00:03:47,050 Jehovah Witnesses? 75 00:03:47,150 --> 00:03:50,830 Them and the Bougie Man. 76 00:03:51,230 --> 00:03:52,790 Who's the Bougie Man? 77 00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:58,950 He's the guy who comes around wearing a suit and lures little kids away to sell candy in the suburbs. 78 00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:00,430 Selling candy? 79 00:04:00,431 --> 00:04:03,410 That's like a beautiful dream I once had. 80 00:04:03,670 --> 00:04:05,030 You mean nightmare. 81 00:04:05,470 --> 00:04:09,270 Because once he gets you alone, he knocks you out. 82 00:04:09,390 --> 00:04:12,770 And when you wake up, you're in a bathtub full of ice. 83 00:04:12,990 --> 00:04:15,650 And your kidneys have been cut out with a rusty knife. 84 00:04:15,930 --> 00:04:17,370 Oh, come on, Calvin. 85 00:04:17,570 --> 00:04:21,010 That's just an urban legend. Like the dog in the microwave. 86 00:04:21,390 --> 00:04:22,610 Or a fair trial. 87 00:04:23,050 --> 00:04:24,230 Uh-uh. It's true. 88 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:25,570 And I can prove it. 89 00:04:27,010 --> 00:04:29,830 Mac, you just gotta let me back on the force. 90 00:04:29,831 --> 00:04:34,030 I don't belong in corrections trying to rehabilitate a bunch of scumbags. 91 00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:35,630 You can't change people. 92 00:04:36,190 --> 00:04:40,271 I'd love to help you out, Walter, but you were discharged for gross misconduct. 93 00:04:40,310 --> 00:04:40,910 Come on. 94 00:04:41,010 --> 00:04:42,010 Give me another chance. 95 00:04:42,330 --> 00:04:43,330 People change. 96 00:04:43,810 --> 00:04:46,194 Look, Walter, I've got no problem with 97 00:04:46,218 --> 00:04:49,250 your, uh, unique way of administering justice. 98 00:04:49,630 --> 00:04:52,972 Hell, if it would help me put drug dealers like Sweet Les behind bars 99 00:04:52,996 --> 00:04:55,711 I'd let you use the Bill of Rights for toilet paper. 100 00:04:56,110 --> 00:04:57,970 Oh, I get your drift. 101 00:04:57,971 --> 00:05:02,010 So if I bring you Sweet Les, you'll let me back on the force. 102 00:05:02,190 --> 00:05:03,830 Hey, Walter, I didn't say that. 103 00:05:04,110 --> 00:05:05,110 Right. 104 00:05:05,350 --> 00:05:06,830 I didn't hear it from you. 105 00:05:07,330 --> 00:05:08,450 Don't worry, Mac. 106 00:05:08,710 --> 00:05:11,250 I'll bring in Sweet Les dead but alive. 107 00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,730 Don't you mean dead or alive? 108 00:05:14,090 --> 00:05:16,630 You haven't worked with me in a long time, have you? 109 00:05:19,650 --> 00:05:21,690 Why is Bebe always on my back? 110 00:05:22,130 --> 00:05:23,250 I'm looking for work. 111 00:05:23,330 --> 00:05:25,270 And looking for work is a full-time job. 112 00:05:25,530 --> 00:05:27,590 So that means you already have a job. 113 00:05:27,790 --> 00:05:29,930 Now. What happens if you find a job? 114 00:05:29,990 --> 00:05:31,270 Then you'd have two jobs. 115 00:05:31,450 --> 00:05:32,710 I bet she didn't think of that. 116 00:05:32,850 --> 00:05:34,150 Hell no, she didn't. 117 00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:37,530 I'm gonna call her right now and give her a piece of my mind. 118 00:05:37,650 --> 00:05:38,650 You do that, buddy. 119 00:05:39,770 --> 00:05:42,370 Hey. Can you lend me 35 cents? 120 00:05:42,670 --> 00:05:44,650 Why don't you get a job, you lazy bastard? 121 00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:51,830 When I married Jimmy, I told him I wanted to be <i>Ghetto</i> fabulous. 122 00:05:52,670 --> 00:05:58,910 Well, from now on, if I don't get Prada, he ain't getting nada. 123 00:06:00,050 --> 00:06:01,950 That's it. That's it. 124 00:06:02,090 --> 00:06:03,830 And another thing. 125 00:06:04,450 --> 00:06:06,310 Oh! Oh dear. 126 00:06:07,810 --> 00:06:09,490 Big Wally Bicks. 127 00:06:09,710 --> 00:06:13,030 <i>The best inside man I ever grifted with.</i> 128 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:16,110 <i>He could con Roosevelt out of his wheelchair.</i> 129 00:06:16,470 --> 00:06:19,510 <i>And the nylons of a pretty young thing like me.</i> 130 00:06:19,730 --> 00:06:23,090 <i>We had just pulled off our biggest goal yet.</i> 131 00:06:23,370 --> 00:06:27,510 <i>The bank heist they would call the Key Lime Caper.</i> 132 00:06:27,611 --> 00:06:29,650 <i>We were aces, me and Wally.</i> 133 00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,690 <i>It seemed like nothing could stop us.</i> 134 00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:35,310 What we hadn't counted on was my insatiable greed. 135 00:06:35,590 --> 00:06:37,251 What the... Oh! 136 00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:39,330 Sorry, Wally. 137 00:06:39,410 --> 00:06:43,010 I dropped dime on you. It takes money to make money. 138 00:06:43,590 --> 00:06:44,590 Florence! 139 00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:47,030 I'll get you! Do you hear me? 140 00:06:50,290 --> 00:06:51,290 Hello? 141 00:06:51,450 --> 00:06:53,270 <i>Did you get my pie?</i> 142 00:06:53,970 --> 00:06:54,570 Bicks? 143 00:06:54,810 --> 00:06:56,590 <i>I'm coming to find you.</i> 144 00:06:56,591 --> 00:06:58,670 <i>And I want my money.</i> 145 00:06:58,910 --> 00:07:00,370 But I don't have it! 146 00:07:00,530 --> 00:07:02,110 <i>Well, you better get it.</i> 147 00:07:03,230 --> 00:07:04,290 Oh my God! 148 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:09,110 Muriel! I'm home! 149 00:07:10,370 --> 00:07:12,870 Hey, you stay right there. 150 00:07:14,594 --> 00:07:18,294 Shhh! Shhh! 151 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:21,500 I love you, baby. 152 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:24,000 Let's never fight like Jimmy and Bebe. 153 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:28,340 Now give me some sugar. ...Mwah! 154 00:07:38,990 --> 00:07:40,130 Well, I made it home alive. 155 00:07:40,970 --> 00:07:43,250 That's it. I ain't ever drinking again until tonight. 156 00:07:43,910 --> 00:07:45,590 Better run through the hangover checklist. 157 00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:46,670 Ooh. 158 00:07:46,930 --> 00:07:47,930 No vomit. 159 00:07:48,670 --> 00:07:49,690 Not too much blood. 160 00:07:51,450 --> 00:07:52,450 Muriel turned into Bebe. 161 00:07:52,770 --> 00:07:55,570 Bebe! Augh! 162 00:07:55,794 --> 00:07:57,594 Augh! 163 00:07:57,818 --> 00:07:59,618 Augh! 164 00:08:00,142 --> 00:08:02,642 Augh! 165 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:06,610 All right. 166 00:08:06,750 --> 00:08:07,750 Just stay calm. 167 00:08:08,050 --> 00:08:10,030 There has got to be a good explanation for this. 168 00:08:10,950 --> 00:08:12,730 Well... well, I was drunk. 169 00:08:13,070 --> 00:08:13,790 No fair! 170 00:08:14,010 --> 00:08:15,250 That's what I was going to say! 171 00:08:15,390 --> 00:08:15,830 Okay. 172 00:08:16,030 --> 00:08:17,710 So I slept in the same bed with you. 173 00:08:17,750 --> 00:08:18,870 There's no law against that. 174 00:08:19,230 --> 00:08:20,810 There should be, but there ain't. 175 00:08:21,030 --> 00:08:22,370 But... but... 176 00:08:22,394 --> 00:08:24,394 what if we had.... Ssss... 177 00:08:24,918 --> 00:08:26,136 (hushed) ...SEX? 178 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:27,440 Bebe, that's impossible. 179 00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:30,420 Even if we were that drunk, you have to be naked to have sex. 180 00:08:30,540 --> 00:08:31,540 And we are not. 181 00:08:31,864 --> 00:08:36,864 Augh! Augh! Augh.. ha ha ha. 182 00:08:35,312 --> 00:08:36,112 Shut up! 183 00:08:36,900 --> 00:08:40,070 Shut up! Shut up! You're going to wake up Muriel. 184 00:08:40,130 --> 00:08:41,890 Muriel is the least of my problems right now. 185 00:08:41,890 --> 00:08:44,390 Bebe? Breakfast is ready. 186 00:08:45,430 --> 00:08:46,630 Oops. Wrong again. 187 00:08:46,810 --> 00:08:47,870 I'll hide in the closet. 188 00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:54,330 That guy's not the Bougie Man. 189 00:08:54,670 --> 00:08:56,946 We've been following him around all day, and 190 00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,671 all he does is go in and out of different schools. 191 00:08:59,850 --> 00:09:00,930 Stupid! 192 00:09:01,231 --> 00:09:04,710 That's where he recruits kids for his phony candy selling scheme. 193 00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:07,150 Hmm, that reminds me. 194 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,090 Shouldn't we be in school? 195 00:09:09,430 --> 00:09:09,930 No! 196 00:09:10,090 --> 00:09:12,530 We got a more important job to do. 197 00:09:12,770 --> 00:09:16,810 We're gonna trail the Bougie Man till we catch him nabbing his next victim. 198 00:09:16,834 --> 00:09:18,834 Augh! 199 00:09:19,530 --> 00:09:20,530 What's up, boys? 200 00:09:22,130 --> 00:09:23,410 I'm glad you're feeling better. 201 00:09:24,070 --> 00:09:25,830 But I'm worried about Thurgood. 202 00:09:26,170 --> 00:09:28,510 He never came home last night. 203 00:09:28,810 --> 00:09:30,690 Well, I was so drunk I don't remember a thing. 204 00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,950 You know, hell, Thurgood could have come in here and had his 205 00:09:32,974 --> 00:09:35,551 filthy way with me and be hiding in the closet right now for all I know. 206 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:36,075 <i>-Ut!</i> 207 00:09:36,110 --> 00:09:36,817 <i>[ Muriel laughing ]</i> 208 00:09:36,841 --> 00:09:39,841 You still a little tipsy, aren't you? 209 00:09:39,910 --> 00:09:40,910 Wait a minute. 210 00:09:41,170 --> 00:09:43,310 Do you think maybe Thurgood spent the night in your.... 211 00:09:43,334 --> 00:09:43,866 No! 212 00:09:43,890 --> 00:09:44,990 <i>...apartment?</i> 213 00:09:45,030 --> 00:09:48,290 Oh, yeah, in that case, yeah he's probably there. 214 00:09:48,390 --> 00:09:49,490 You go and check on him. 215 00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:50,590 Now! 216 00:09:54,830 --> 00:09:55,530 Whew! That was close. 217 00:09:55,770 --> 00:09:57,290 Now we gotta clear a couple things up. 218 00:09:57,590 --> 00:09:58,690 You never saw me. 219 00:09:59,090 --> 00:10:00,750 I slept at Walter's last night, got it? 220 00:09:59,874 --> 00:10:00,374 Uhhh... 221 00:10:00,870 --> 00:10:01,370 What? 222 00:10:05,390 --> 00:10:06,390 Don't flatter yourself. 223 00:10:06,570 --> 00:10:09,150 That happens to every man in the morning. Hmmm. 224 00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:12,230 So you boys thought I was the Bougie Man? 225 00:10:12,990 --> 00:10:15,010 Boy, you sure have a great imagination. 226 00:10:15,530 --> 00:10:16,530 Oh, yeah? 227 00:10:16,590 --> 00:10:19,090 Well, why are you going in and out of schools? 228 00:10:19,490 --> 00:10:21,330 I sell chalk and chalk-related products. 229 00:10:22,050 --> 00:10:23,050 See? 230 00:10:23,130 --> 00:10:24,730 Well, boys, see you later. 231 00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:28,570 And, uh, don't let the Bougie Man get you. He he he... 232 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:34,700 See? I told you he's not a maniac. 233 00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:37,670 He sells chalk and fundraising candy. 234 00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:39,770 Uh-oh. 235 00:10:41,250 --> 00:10:41,810 Hello. 236 00:10:41,990 --> 00:10:47,010 My name is Garcelle Dupuis, and I'm here to get the results of my citizenship exam. 237 00:10:47,410 --> 00:10:48,410 Ah, let's see. 238 00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:51,370 Oh, here it is. 239 00:10:51,371 --> 00:10:52,630 You failed. 240 00:10:52,970 --> 00:10:55,790 You'll be deported back to Haiti in 48 hours. 241 00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:56,670 Next! 242 00:10:56,730 --> 00:10:57,310 Wait! 243 00:10:57,470 --> 00:10:57,790 Wait! 244 00:10:57,910 --> 00:10:59,570 I can't go back to Haiti! 245 00:10:59,690 --> 00:11:02,870 With my westernized immune system, I'll be dead in minutes! 246 00:11:03,170 --> 00:11:10,151 You know, after all these years of hearing stories like yours, you'd think I'd stop caring. 247 00:11:10,190 --> 00:11:12,090 And you'd be right. Ha ha ha ha. 248 00:11:12,170 --> 00:11:13,170 Next! 249 00:11:17,850 --> 00:11:20,350 Hey, crackhead, get out here! 250 00:11:21,370 --> 00:11:22,490 Oh, my God! 251 00:11:22,910 --> 00:11:24,150 It's Ed McMahon! 252 00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:26,910 Am I going to be on star search? 253 00:11:27,130 --> 00:11:29,426 If you're not careful, you're going to be on cavity search. 254 00:11:29,450 --> 00:11:30,770 Now, listen here, Smokey. 255 00:11:30,771 --> 00:11:32,450 My career is on the line. 256 00:11:32,590 --> 00:11:33,970 I need you to wear a wire. 257 00:11:34,310 --> 00:11:35,790 I like being wired. 258 00:11:36,590 --> 00:11:38,630 Son, your wry comments aren't appreciated. 259 00:11:39,390 --> 00:11:40,390 Sorry. 260 00:11:40,550 --> 00:11:45,070 You'll attempt to buy drugs from Sweet Les, and I'll get the whole thing on tape. 261 00:11:45,190 --> 00:11:48,770 Then, when the time is right, I'll move in and make the collar. 262 00:11:49,310 --> 00:11:50,710 Mmm... I don't know. 263 00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:52,610 What do I get out of it? 264 00:11:52,850 --> 00:11:55,950 I'll drop the false charges that I'm about to file against you. 265 00:11:56,390 --> 00:11:57,950 You'd do that for me? 266 00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:05,830 Goodbye, foul bed! 267 00:12:06,150 --> 00:12:09,330 And I pray this is the only burning I experienced from that night with Bebe. 268 00:12:09,370 --> 00:12:10,370 Thurgood. 269 00:12:10,490 --> 00:12:12,490 You need to talk, brother-in-law. 270 00:12:13,570 --> 00:12:14,050 Jimmy! 271 00:12:14,330 --> 00:12:15,650 What are you doing with that gun? 272 00:12:15,870 --> 00:12:16,350 This? 273 00:12:16,351 --> 00:12:19,370 I'm just taking it down to the Guns for Toys program. 274 00:12:19,750 --> 00:12:20,750 Thank God. 275 00:12:21,070 --> 00:12:21,590 Yeah. 276 00:12:22,070 --> 00:12:25,248 Because I'm afraid if I keep it around the house, I might bust 277 00:12:25,272 --> 00:12:28,450 a cap into the scumbag who's sleeping with my Bebe. 278 00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:31,010 Wha, wha wha... What makes you say that? 279 00:12:31,670 --> 00:12:36,730 This morning, when I tried to have make-up sex, Bebe wouldn't let me touch her. 280 00:12:36,770 --> 00:12:41,410 Then she went into the shower and scrubbed herself clean for five hours straight. 281 00:12:41,610 --> 00:12:42,290 Five hours? 282 00:12:42,510 --> 00:12:43,670 Now that's just overkill. 283 00:12:43,950 --> 00:12:44,410 Oh, yeah. 284 00:12:44,470 --> 00:12:46,270 She's obviously trying to wash off 285 00:12:46,271 --> 00:12:48,050 the vile stink of that man! 286 00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:49,750 But I can still smell it. 287 00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:49,950 Huh? 288 00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:51,070 Even here. 289 00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:53,630 I'm gonna find this guy and teach him a lesson. 290 00:13:00,050 --> 00:13:01,270 What's going on? 291 00:13:01,910 --> 00:13:03,530 They're trying to deport me. 292 00:13:03,610 --> 00:13:06,030 But I'll die before I go back to my beloved Haiti. 293 00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:07,890 Here. Hold this. 294 00:13:08,230 --> 00:13:12,410 I'm going down the American way in a bloody standoff with the federal government. 295 00:13:12,690 --> 00:13:16,953 But according to Section 239B of the Immigration and Naturalization Act... 296 00:13:16,977 --> 00:13:20,050 I don't have time for your robotic yammering, you pathetic freak! 297 00:13:20,130 --> 00:13:20,950 Okay. 298 00:13:21,070 --> 00:13:24,830 I was just going to offer to marry you so you could stay in the country. 299 00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:26,430 But never mind. 300 00:13:26,790 --> 00:13:28,930 Wait! I could do freaky. 301 00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:31,810 <i>The plan was simple.</i> 302 00:13:32,150 --> 00:13:35,690 <i>Give Big Wally his half of the loot and I'd be free and clear.</i> 303 00:13:36,130 --> 00:13:37,430 <i>The money was safe.</i> 304 00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:40,270 <i>In 50 years, I never touched it.</i> 305 00:13:40,690 --> 00:13:42,650 <i>Except in cases of emergencies.</i> 306 00:13:44,370 --> 00:13:51,010 <i>What I hadn't counted on was my insatiable need for discreet male companionship.</i> 307 00:13:53,630 --> 00:13:57,430 I still don't understand why you had to burn our old mattress. 308 00:13:57,710 --> 00:13:59,050 Your drunk sister slept on it. 309 00:13:59,090 --> 00:14:00,890 I was afraid it was a <i>posture peed on</i>. 310 00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:07,250 Hey guys! 311 00:14:07,390 --> 00:14:08,390 Good news! 312 00:14:08,470 --> 00:14:11,530 I finally know why Bebe has been acting so weird. 313 00:14:11,830 --> 00:14:12,830 Tell him, honey. 314 00:14:14,090 --> 00:14:15,110 I'm pregnant. 315 00:14:16,434 --> 00:14:16,934 Eek 316 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:20,920 Oh! This is so exciting! 317 00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:23,320 A new baby in the projects! 318 00:14:24,140 --> 00:14:25,780 Yeah, but we ain't responsible for it! 319 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,620 It's not like we're his parents, right? 320 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:28,980 <i>No, of course not.</i> 321 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,040 I wonder what Bebe and Jimmy will name the baby. 322 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:33,080 Not Thurgood! 323 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,720 Now, there'd be no good reason to name him Thurgood. 324 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,280 Thurgood, what's gotten into you? 325 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:38,520 Stop toying with me, woman! 326 00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,660 If you know something, just say it! 327 00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:42,460 I don't know what you're talking about. 328 00:14:42,540 --> 00:14:43,716 You want me to say it for you? 329 00:14:43,740 --> 00:14:44,740 Fine! 330 00:14:47,540 --> 00:14:48,860 Bebe raped me! 331 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:51,520 What? 332 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:52,800 It happens, Muriel. 333 00:14:53,140 --> 00:14:54,220 I've learned to live with it. 334 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:55,240 Why can't you? 335 00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:56,700 My God! 336 00:14:57,300 --> 00:15:00,120 Are you saying you slept with my sister? 337 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,140 Okay, I can see you're on to me. 338 00:15:02,220 --> 00:15:03,220 Here's the truth. 339 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:06,080 Bebe and I may or may not have had sex. 340 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:09,440 And if so, I may or may not be that baby's daddy. 341 00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:11,360 You're not mad, are you? 342 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,420 Okay, I deserve that. 343 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:15,740 Okay, now we're even. 344 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,940 Are you as turned on as I am? 345 00:15:18,180 --> 00:15:19,180 Get out! 346 00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:25,360 Okay, so you blew the door and Big Wally's gonna be cheesed. 347 00:15:25,460 --> 00:15:28,660 You can't spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder. 348 00:15:29,260 --> 00:15:35,140 So are you gonna run like a filthy coward or save your dignity and face Big Wally? 349 00:15:35,780 --> 00:15:38,200 I think we both know the answer to that. 350 00:15:41,460 --> 00:15:42,460 I'm outta here. 351 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:47,040 I now pronounce you man and wife. 352 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:51,960 Oops. Sorry. 353 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,260 Force of habit. 354 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,680 Okay, you're wired for sound. 355 00:15:56,920 --> 00:16:01,220 As soon as Sweet Les sells you the drugs, I'll bust in and arrest him. 356 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,820 And I'll have the evidence safely stowed away in my veins. 357 00:16:08,944 --> 00:16:10,944 Augh! 358 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:15,120 It's gonna take more than a locked door to keep me from the makeup sex you need. 359 00:16:16,060 --> 00:16:17,940 Thurgood, I told you, I don't wanna see you. 360 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:19,780 Oh, please, please, baby, baby. 361 00:16:19,860 --> 00:16:20,780 I love you so much. 362 00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:21,400 I miss you. 363 00:16:21,460 --> 00:16:22,460 I'm nothing without you. 364 00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:23,700 And you're hungry. 365 00:16:23,980 --> 00:16:24,860 And I'm hungry. 366 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,180 I haven't eaten since I left. 367 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:27,580 You gotta take me back. 368 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,400 Well, I'm not a completely cold-hearted person. 369 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:34,000 And just to show you that 25 years of marriage means something... 370 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:36,120 ...I'll give you a chance. 371 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:37,400 Thank you, honey. 372 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,480 Our long marital nightmare is over. 373 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:41,220 Not so fast! 374 00:16:42,140 --> 00:16:44,480 Bebe is having a DNA test. 375 00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:48,640 If you're not the father, ....I'll take you back. 376 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:53,360 But if you are the father, I never wanna see you again! 377 00:17:02,420 --> 00:17:04,640 Okay, he's gone. Let's go. 378 00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,680 This is day one of the Hilton Jacobs project. 379 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:13,720 We've traced the Bougie Man back to his lair, and we're gonna record all the evidence. 380 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:18,981 We're gonna stop the Bougie Man's killing, sell the tape, and make a killing of our own. 381 00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:20,020 <i>[ Juicy ] We're in!</i> 382 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:23,720 Oh, man! 383 00:17:23,980 --> 00:17:26,900 I bet he keeps the kids in cages like veal! 384 00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:30,680 And when they're all gone, he's got free-range kids! 385 00:17:31,580 --> 00:17:32,660 Oh, my God! 386 00:17:33,020 --> 00:17:35,320 It's the candy he makes the kids sell! 387 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:36,880 Let's get out of here! 388 00:17:37,420 --> 00:17:38,420 Not yet. 389 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:39,940 Candy doesn't prove anything. 390 00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:44,300 We still haven't found the... ...the bathtub full of ice! 391 00:17:44,824 --> 00:17:46,824 Augh! 392 00:17:46,848 --> 00:17:48,848 <i>[ front door opens ]</i> 393 00:17:52,370 --> 00:17:53,470 I'm so scared. 394 00:17:53,650 --> 00:17:54,590 I'm so scared. 395 00:17:54,650 --> 00:17:55,650 I'm so scared. 396 00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,130 I'm so sorry I got Juicy into this. 397 00:17:59,290 --> 00:18:00,350 I love you, Mom. 398 00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:02,530 Okay, man, what you want? 399 00:18:03,170 --> 00:18:05,770 I want the voices in my head 400 00:18:05,771 --> 00:18:08,830 to stop selling me aluminum siding! 401 00:18:09,310 --> 00:18:09,790 Voices? 402 00:18:10,030 --> 00:18:11,270 What kind of stunt you pulling? 403 00:18:11,430 --> 00:18:13,870 Yes, that is my final answer, Regis. 404 00:18:14,030 --> 00:18:14,790 Well, wait a minute. 405 00:18:14,930 --> 00:18:15,990 You wearing a wire? 406 00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:21,170 Great. Now I gotta go do some killing. 407 00:18:23,930 --> 00:18:26,110 Okay, I married a U.S. citizen. 408 00:18:26,410 --> 00:18:28,090 Now can I have my green card? 409 00:18:28,630 --> 00:18:29,630 <i>Husband's name?</i> 410 00:18:30,530 --> 00:18:32,730 Emilio Desiderio Sanchez, señora. 411 00:18:33,450 --> 00:18:36,070 I suppose that's a Minnesota accent. 412 00:18:36,730 --> 00:18:39,670 Actually, I once spent a very lonely winter in Minne.... 413 00:18:39,671 --> 00:18:40,671 <i>Shut up.</i> 414 00:18:42,030 --> 00:18:43,530 Oh, here's a shock. 415 00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:45,850 You're not a citizen either. 416 00:18:46,050 --> 00:18:46,350 What? 417 00:18:46,650 --> 00:18:50,630 But my late wife Esperanza, she was an American citizen. 418 00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:54,150 And you were married for two full years as required by law? 419 00:18:56,850 --> 00:18:57,970 Funny story. 420 00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:01,930 See, actually, she died a week before our second anniversary. 421 00:19:01,931 --> 00:19:08,110 I meant to apply for a hardship case, but I had to have my larynx removed that week. 422 00:19:08,410 --> 00:19:10,670 Hey, that is funny. 423 00:19:10,830 --> 00:19:15,330 Ha ha ha ha ha... Next! 424 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:18,120 At least we have each other. 425 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:20,780 What's the worst they can do to us now? 426 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:23,840 Sanchez! 427 00:19:24,220 --> 00:19:25,220 My bad. 428 00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:30,800 Come on, hurry up you damn filthy boss. 429 00:19:31,424 --> 00:19:31,876 Augh! 430 00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:33,240 Going somewhere? 431 00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:34,680 Big Wally? 432 00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:37,520 I've been waiting fifty years for this day. 433 00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:41,220 Nobody double-crosses Big Wally and lives. 434 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:42,840 Don't kill me! 435 00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:54,540 Smokey! 436 00:19:58,340 --> 00:19:59,360 Hello cop. 437 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:00,900 It's time to die. 438 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:05,840 Wait! 439 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:07,780 We have to stick together! 440 00:20:09,140 --> 00:20:10,440 Josie, where are you? 441 00:20:12,460 --> 00:20:14,240 I'm coming Juicy! 442 00:20:17,180 --> 00:20:17,760 Juicy! 443 00:20:17,940 --> 00:20:18,940 No! 444 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,640 Well, this is it Thurgood. 445 00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:28,400 If the doctor says you're the father, I'm leaving you. 446 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,580 Okay everyone, I have the results of the paternity test. 447 00:20:35,780 --> 00:20:39,580 And now some exciting scenes from next season's The PJs. 448 00:20:40,420 --> 00:20:43,365 I can't believe the ship's captain had the authority 449 00:20:43,389 --> 00:20:46,161 to grant us citizenship and annul our marriage. 450 00:20:46,740 --> 00:20:49,339 I can't believe he was just a 451 00:20:49,363 --> 00:20:52,580 sweet guy who likes to eat candy while taking ice baths. 452 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:56,179 I can't believe Big Wally had a fatal 453 00:20:56,203 --> 00:20:59,421 heart attack while he was choking me on my neck. 454 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:01,700 I can't believe it's not butter. 455 00:21:02,420 --> 00:21:05,660 I can't believe you know karate, Smokey. 456 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,100 That wasn't karate. 457 00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:08,360 That was withdrawal. 458 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:10,240 Huh! 459 00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:11,960 I can't believe it! 460 00:21:12,260 --> 00:21:13,700 It's not totally uncommon. 461 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,860 You see, anxiety caused by not knowing 462 00:21:16,884 --> 00:21:18,369 whether you had slept with your 463 00:21:18,393 --> 00:21:20,120 brother-in-law caused a false alarm. 464 00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:24,000 It's what we in the medical community call an <i>hysterical pregnancy</i>. 465 00:21:24,940 --> 00:21:27,540 <i>[ hysterical laughter ]</i> 466 00:21:27,564 --> 00:21:28,860 Hey! That is hysterical! 467 00:21:29,384 --> 00:21:31,384 <i>[ more hysterical laughter ]</i> 468 00:21:33,340 --> 00:21:35,660 Okay nurse, you can send in Mrs. Ho now. 469 00:21:35,860 --> 00:21:38,680 But doctor, that <i>was</i> Mrs. Ho. 470 00:21:39,181 --> 00:21:40,480 Oops. 471 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:50,240 Ut ut. Ut ut. Ut ut. 471 00:21:51,305 --> 00:22:51,660