"King of the Hill" Chore Money, Chore Problems

1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,919 [♪ guitar strumming] 2 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:10,676 [beer hisses] 3 00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:12,971 [♪ theme song playing] 4 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:20,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 5 00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:29,070 ♪ 6 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,036 [♪ theme concludes] 7 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,914 [birds chirping] 8 00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:45,085 [wind whooshing] 9 00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:46,170 Huh. 10 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,422 ♪ 11 00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:49,215 [door thuds] 12 00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:51,718 Hm... 13 00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:54,345 [faucet squeaks, water draining] 14 00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:57,139 - [stopwatch beeps] - Well, that won't do at all. 15 00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,975 - [TV chatter] - Good news, Peggy. 16 00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:02,186 - [mutes TV] - I shaved point-four seconds 17 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,896 off the sink's drain time. 18 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,189 Quick, go brush your teeth! 19 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,066 Why don't you sit down and relax? 20 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,151 It's 10:30 on a Tuesday. 21 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:11,278 We don't live in an opium den. 22 00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:13,906 Honey, the whole point of retirement 23 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:17,368 is you do not have to fill in every free moment with work. 24 00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:20,120 Come on, watch some TV with me. 25 00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:22,581 - What are you watching? - It is a British reality show 26 00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,917 called <i>The Make Up Bake Up.</i> 27 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:28,045 A couple tries to work through their relationship issues 28 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:31,173 - while making a pastry, cake, or tart. - [unmutes TV] 29 00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:33,842 - [♪ soft music playing on TV] - Oh, and they are naked. 30 00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:36,845 [Gen-Z Guy] [on TV] <i>I feel like we've gotten proper close after three days.</i> 31 00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:39,264 <i>But, to be honest, when we were snoggin',</i> 32 00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:41,517 <i>I was thinkin' about doin' it with your sister.</i> 33 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:43,185 [Gen-Z Girl] [on TV] <i>I wasn't paying attention</i> 34 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:45,145 <i>because me UTI was makin' me vulva sore.</i> 35 00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:46,230 [shudders] 36 00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:49,484 Why would they share that? And on TV? 37 00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:52,486 - Yes, Hank, it's just awful. - [turns volume up] 38 00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:54,446 [Gen-Z Girl] <i>Work that puff pastry!</i> 39 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:55,781 - [doorbell chiming] <i>- Harder. Harder!</i> 40 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:58,284 - I'll get it! <i>- Whisk it harder, you fit boy!</i> 41 00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:02,413 Perfect timing, Boomhauer. I got your message. 42 00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:05,916 I have five different nail guns, so if you wanna borrow one, 43 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,668 you'll have to be more specific. 44 00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:08,919 What are you working on? 45 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:12,256 Man, it's this dang ol' app, man. Talkin' about gon' disrupt the industry, 46 00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:14,342 and they gon' disrupt my Tuesday, man. 47 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:18,804 [Hank Hill] ChoreChimp? So, you're like a handyman, 48 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,890 - but only when you wanna be? - [Boomhauer] Yep. 49 00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,434 It's Heaven on Earth. 50 00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:25,978 - You need a hand? - Nah, man, I'ma-- I'm good. 51 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:29,023 Sure thing, Boomhauer! I'll help you out if you really need it! 52 00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:32,943 ♪ 53 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,320 - [typing] - Everything okay? 54 00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:38,032 - I'm trying to craft the perfect text. - [sizzling] 55 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:40,826 Business text or sexy text? 56 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,287 I ran into an old friend the other day. 57 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:47,124 We kinda used to... [laughs] go together when we were kids. 58 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:49,752 Are emojis played out? 59 00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,628 Are periods angry? 60 00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:53,547 Help me here, Emilio. 61 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:56,091 How are you so bad at this? 62 00:02:56,092 --> 00:03:00,054 All my texts are with married 60-year-old meat suppliers! 63 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:03,016 I'm not used to texting single ladies! 64 00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:05,768 Bobby, this text is so long! 65 00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:08,854 There are paragraphs with spaces between them. 66 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,398 To allow the eye to rest. 67 00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:12,816 Keep it simple. 68 00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:16,236 On <i>The Summer I Turned Pretty,</i> they use three words max. 69 00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:18,073 Try, "Mama, what's good?" 70 00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:19,699 [door bell chiming] 71 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:21,826 [♪ hopeful music plays] 72 00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:23,661 Never mind! That's Connie! 73 00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:26,373 [Emilio] I believe in you, Bobby. 74 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,291 - Well, well, well. - Hey, Bobby. 75 00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:32,294 Wow, so this is the restaurant, huh? 76 00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:34,463 - It's really cool. - Yes, ma'am. 77 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,340 It's my little slice of Heaven. 78 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:39,885 Did you come by to have the best dining experience of your life, 79 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,763 or are you just here for the view? 80 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:45,557 Actually, Chane invited me. 81 00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:48,477 - Chane? - Yeah, Chane, you know? 82 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,646 What's up, babe? This guy bothering you? 83 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,314 You say the word, and he's fired. 84 00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:53,482 [Chane laughing] 85 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:56,819 Just kidding. I actually couldn't fire him. 86 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,070 But, my dad could. 87 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,656 So wait, you guys are-- 88 00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:01,782 Dating. 89 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,201 ♪ 90 00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:05,829 ♪ 91 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:08,664 [homeowner chattering] 92 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:09,748 [stamping] 93 00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:10,833 That oughta do it. 94 00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,418 Plus, I just got laid off, 95 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:15,129 so now I'm not sure if I can even afford this house. 96 00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:16,505 Oh, man, that's rough, man. 97 00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:18,215 But, you know that dang ol' hustle culture, man, 98 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:20,592 if you don't rise and grind, that arrow of time, man. 99 00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:22,553 Time, th-that's the dang ol' most precious resource, 100 00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:23,637 you know what I'm sayin'? 101 00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:25,681 That's really great advice. 102 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,474 Thank you, really. 103 00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:31,437 Hey, Boomhauer, you wanna come over and step on this at the same time as me? 104 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,939 See if it can handle a double load? 105 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,024 [stamping] 106 00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:37,359 Wow! Looks great! 107 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,446 I'm gonna give you five bananas for sure. 108 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,780 Uh, well, thank you, 109 00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:44,324 but, uh, I hate bananas. 110 00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:45,701 It's monkey food. 111 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:48,495 Five bananas is the highest rating on ChoreChimp. 112 00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:50,873 That's the reason I hired Boomhauer. 113 00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,374 He has a perfect five-banana rating. 114 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,251 And now I see why. 115 00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:57,046 He does the job, and he's great to talk to. 116 00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:59,256 [mutters] Eh, I did the job. 117 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,924 [normal] Boy, that was fun. 118 00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:03,260 I felt like we should be payin' her. 119 00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,346 But, I guess it's time for me to go home 120 00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:07,931 and get back to my retirement. 121 00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:09,058 [birds chirping] 122 00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:12,269 - Mm-hmm. - That's a good point, Boomhauer! 123 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:15,147 We make a great team. Let's keep this goin'! 124 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,566 Oh, man. 125 00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:19,818 So, is this a special occasion? 126 00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:22,196 Perhaps an anniversary? 127 00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:24,239 One month? Two? 128 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,950 - It's just lunch. - Very cool, very cool. 129 00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:29,328 And after you're done eating, 130 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:33,082 should I put each of your leftovers in separate boxes or-- 131 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:35,084 Can we actually just start with two matchas? 132 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,794 <i>No problemo.</i> 133 00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,420 Nature's Red Bull! 134 00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:41,465 Are you both perhaps tired from a late night 135 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:44,093 that you potentially shared together? 136 00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,804 [♪ soft music playing in restaurant] 137 00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:49,140 [mud sloshing] 138 00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:50,725 [bucket clanging] 139 00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:54,353 Boy, just look at those gutters gleam. 140 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,730 Hey, Boomhauer, how are those hedges lookin'? 141 00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,482 Hey, man, I tell you what man, love, 142 00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,609 it's a-- [gibberish] like it a dang ol' battlefield, man. 143 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:03,529 - [Boomhauer continues] - Oh, I see you're workin' hard. 144 00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:04,863 ...win no dang ol' war, man. 145 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,408 You're right! I just need to get back out there! 146 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:08,909 - You're amazing. - [ladder rattling] 147 00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,661 What the-- Look out, Boomhauer! 148 00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,329 - [♪ dramatic music playing] - Boomhauer! 149 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,248 - Are you okay? - [Boomhauer] Ah, dang ol'... 150 00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:16,418 Got dang ol'... [sighs] Ow. 151 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,460 Stay down, Boomhauer. 152 00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:20,838 I know a concussion when I see one. 153 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,423 From football, obviously, 154 00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:25,759 but also from Bobby's contact improv days. 155 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:26,844 ♪ 156 00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:29,263 Sorry, Boomhauer, we're outta frozen peas. 157 00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:31,974 But, this bag of frozen diced potatoes should do just fine. 158 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,685 Can I have the potatoes when Boomhauer's done with them? 159 00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:36,729 - No. - I had to ask. 160 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,188 Fortune favors the bold. 161 00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:40,357 [weakly] Oh, man. Dang ol'... 162 00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,402 - sleepy, man. - [Dale Gribble] Mm-hmm. 163 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:45,612 Is Boomhauer gonna be... slow forever? 164 00:06:45,613 --> 00:06:47,614 Well, he got his bell rung pretty bad, 165 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:50,242 but the doctor thinks he'll be fine in a few days. 166 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:53,954 Ancient peoples used to give themselves concussions 167 00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:56,081 because they believed the altered headspace 168 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,167 brought them closer to God. 169 00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,836 I don't think any of that's true, Dale. 170 00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,797 Now, the doctor said we just need to keep an eye on him 171 00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:06,759 for 24 hours to make sure he's okay. 172 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,137 Absolutely. And, Boomhauer, if you need anything, 173 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:13,766 anything at all, Hank and I will be right across the alley. 174 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:16,018 - [phone buzzing, pinging] - [chimp screeching] 175 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,103 [phone clicks] 176 00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:20,105 Now, I know you're worried about your perfect rating, 177 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,732 but I could fill in for you. 178 00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,609 Just until you get back on your feet. 179 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,194 Oh. I don't know, man-- 180 00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:27,696 Yeah, I think it's a great idea, too. 181 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:32,284 - "Boomhauer is on his way." - [typing] 182 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,745 ♪ 183 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,163 How's it going? 184 00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:39,166 Good. I think the miso trout dip's a winner. 185 00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:41,002 I mean how's it going... 186 00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:44,171 - in here? - It's fine. I'm fine. 187 00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:45,924 - [Connie Souphanousinphone] Hi, Bobby. - Connie! 188 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:49,051 So, this is kind of like your office, huh? 189 00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,386 I guess you could say that. 190 00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:53,555 Bobby's a wonderful boss! And handsome, too. 191 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,140 I know our menu says the "Catch of the Day" 192 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,475 is Chilean sea bass, 193 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,228 but, in my opinion, the real catch is this guy. 194 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,939 Back to work, Emilio. 195 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:04,942 That's Emilio. How is your date going? 196 00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:06,110 Okay! 197 00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:08,445 [sighing] I don't know. 198 00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:11,532 Chane keeps talking about his frat pranks. 199 00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:13,575 Most of them just sound like crimes. 200 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,828 Maybe we don't really have anything in common. 201 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:19,581 Well, Chane can be self-centered and obnoxious, 202 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,834 and downright means sometimes. 203 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:25,462 But, I think he does all that because, deep down, he's insecure. 204 00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:28,966 His dad puts a lot of pressure on him to be successful, 205 00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:33,178 and, sometimes, he overcompensates to feel better about himself. 206 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:36,181 But, at the end of the day, Chane's a good guy. 207 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,766 [soft laugh] 208 00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:40,811 I know what all that dad stuff is like. 209 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:41,896 Thanks, Bobby. 210 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,732 - [door creaks] - [sighs] 211 00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,859 You're a good man, Bobby Hill. 212 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,986 Dumb, but good. 213 00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:51,321 ♪ 214 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:52,782 [ladder rattling] 215 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,203 Oh, boy. I may refinish those shutters for free. 216 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:02,292 - [puts down toolbox] - [rings doorbell] 217 00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,209 Good afternoon, ma'am. 218 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,379 I'm from ChoreChimp, here to hang your curtain rod. 219 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,214 [baby cooing] 220 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,592 - [phone clicks] - You're Boomhauer? 221 00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,427 No, I'm Hank Hill. 222 00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:16,722 I'm filling in because Boomhauer is incapacitated. 223 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,515 Are you as good as Boomhauer? 224 00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,893 [laughs] Uh, uh, yes. 225 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,686 Yes, ma'am, I definitely am. 226 00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:25,439 - Well, come on in then. - [grabs toolbox] 227 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,274 - [door shuts] - Eric, this is Hank. 228 00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:28,609 He's gonna hang the curtains. 229 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,069 You're a lifesaver. 230 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,862 Between work and the baby, 231 00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:34,531 there's just been no time to get stuff done around the house. 232 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:36,867 - [Hank] Not a problem. - I don't sleep anymore. 233 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:39,829 - I-I'm a shell of a person. - [cooing continues] 234 00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:43,666 Plus, Lena and I haven't had sex in, I don't know how long. 235 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,250 [Lena] Sixty-two days. 236 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,543 I broke my vibrator. 237 00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:48,462 [muttering] I am not fixing that. 238 00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,339 - [baby crying] - Oh, come on. 239 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:53,342 I mean, it's just this all day! 240 00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:55,260 Do you have kids? 241 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,345 Yes. 242 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,347 When we had Charlie, Eric and I started posting 243 00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,432 parenting videos on our YouTube channel. 244 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,768 We thought it would be fun to document 245 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,186 the "miracle" of raising a child, 246 00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:06,397 but things are so hard right now 247 00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:08,482 that we might just give it up. 248 00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,234 I know this is awful to say, 249 00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:13,195 but sometimes part of me regrets having kids. 250 00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:14,530 Is that normal? 251 00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:16,073 [baby Charlie cooing] 252 00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:19,076 So, the interesting thing about these curtain rods 253 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:22,121 is that they consist of two concentric rods 254 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,164 that fit inside one another. 255 00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:26,542 That's what makes the rod adjustable. 256 00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:30,045 It's the same technology they use in telescopes. 257 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,589 ♪ 258 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,676 - [phone buzzing, beeps] - [chimp screeching] 259 00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:36,678 [phone clicks] 260 00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:38,805 Two bananas?! 261 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:41,974 ♪ 262 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,684 I just don't get it, Peggy. 263 00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:46,311 Those curtain rods were taut and true. 264 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,023 I could have done a chin-up on those things. 265 00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:51,400 Then, I bet I could have done two. 266 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:54,153 I did the job exactly as asked, 267 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,405 even though their baby was crying the whole time, 268 00:10:56,406 --> 00:11:00,451 and they kept asking me invasive personal questions about our kid. 269 00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:03,203 Like how old he is and whatnot. 270 00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:06,582 Oh, Hank, they were just looking for someone to talk to. 271 00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:10,044 They just wanted a kind ear and, and some advice. 272 00:11:10,045 --> 00:11:11,879 I'm not a therapist, Peggy. 273 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:16,050 If there is one thing I have learned from <i>The Make Up Bake Up,</i> 274 00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:19,303 it is that for young people, anyone can be a therapist. 275 00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:20,512 Every episode is, 276 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,556 "My sister is my therapist," 277 00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:24,725 "My dog is my therapist," 278 00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,602 "Frying is my therapy, 279 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:29,063 and the recipe is my therapist." 280 00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:32,066 Well, my job wasn't to give 'em advice. 281 00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:34,443 I was to hang a curtain rod. 282 00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:37,529 I deserve all five bananas. 283 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,074 I mean, Boomhauer does. 284 00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:44,036 Did it ever occur to you that the reason Boomhauer's rating is so high 285 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,663 is that people enjoy talking with him? 286 00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:49,375 Well, I'm sorry I'm not Mr. Personality, 287 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,834 like Boomhauer! 288 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:53,212 ♪ 289 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,090 Anything good on tonight? 290 00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:57,091 Oh! "The Adulterers" is on! 291 00:11:57,092 --> 00:11:58,342 [♪ curious music playing] 292 00:11:58,343 --> 00:11:59,968 [Bobby Hill] [in soft voice] "Dearest Roderick, 293 00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:03,598 "thank you for cookin' me this delicious chicken piccata. 294 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:07,851 Did you get the recipe from your wife?" 295 00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,688 [Joseph Gribble] "Uh, that's not a chicken piccata. 296 00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:12,731 It's pizza, and it sucks." 297 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,942 [Bobby] Joseph, come on, man. 298 00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:18,278 You gotta "yes, and" in improv. 299 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,738 [Bobby and Joseph groan] 300 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,740 Hey! Were you mad at me earlier? 301 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,534 No! Why? 302 00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:25,619 Because this afternoon, you texted me, 303 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:28,706 "Joseph, we need to talk." Period. 304 00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:31,500 So, periods <i>are</i> angry! 305 00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,502 No, man, I just wanted to tell you 306 00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:35,379 that Connie came into the restaurant today. 307 00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:37,256 No way! To see you? 308 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,383 She was on a date, uh, 309 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:41,552 - with Chane. - Oh, Bobby. 310 00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:44,346 Did you freak out? Did you scream at him? 311 00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:46,432 Did you slap Connie's name out of his mouth? 312 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:50,060 I was actually really mature about the whole thing. 313 00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:51,311 'Cause truth is 314 00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:53,856 I really just want 315 00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:55,899 Connie and I to be friends. 316 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,067 Uh-huh... 317 00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,152 [phone chimes] 318 00:12:58,153 --> 00:13:00,821 - It's her! - Connie? W-what's it say? 319 00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:04,283 "It was really great to see you today." Period. 320 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:07,536 "Karaoke tomorrow night?" Question mark? 321 00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:10,914 Oh-ho! Sounds like she's got Bobby on the brain. 322 00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:12,042 Maybe you still got a shot. 323 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,002 Nah, I bet Chane's going, too. 324 00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,962 Dude, still, say yes! 325 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,506 Okay, okay. 326 00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:20,883 "Hello, Connie." 327 00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:22,635 Period. Nope. 328 00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:25,512 "It would be my honor to--" 329 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:28,223 [sighs] I'll do it. Bobby, you text like AI. 330 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:30,601 The rules are confusing! 331 00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,020 ♪ 332 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:33,563 [doorbell chiming] 333 00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:35,606 Hello. 334 00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:37,191 Sorry to bother you, but yesterday, 335 00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:40,694 you gave me a two-banana rating on the ChoreChimp app. 336 00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:42,404 Was there something about my service 337 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,740 that you found unsatisfactory? 338 00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,992 Two outta five is... is good. 339 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:50,662 You know, back when I sold propane and propane accessories, 340 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,831 we used to have a little saying. 341 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,917 "When it comes to customers, 342 00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:58,129 the most important mile is the extra one." 343 00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:02,508 What I'm sayin' is I'd be happy to do some more chores for you, 344 00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,010 free of charge, to earn that perfect rating. 345 00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:08,722 I mean, I guess if you wanna do free work. 346 00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:11,141 - [metal scraping] - The baby won't eat. 347 00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:13,394 Every time I try to breastfeed him, he pulls away. 348 00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:14,645 [Eric] Well, keep trying! 349 00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,647 What do you think I'm doin'?! 350 00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:18,315 You know, when our son was first born, 351 00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:21,277 every night was a new challenge for Peggy and I. 352 00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:24,279 [♪ soft music playing] 353 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,032 He was real fussy, I'll tell you what. 354 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,784 And, uh, well, 355 00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:31,912 our son Bobby, he, uh, he wouldn't, uh... 356 00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:34,456 [shudders] latch on either. 357 00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,792 It was really hard on Peggy. 358 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,961 She thought maybe she wasn't fit to be a mother. 359 00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:40,713 But, she worked through it, 360 00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:42,631 and she became, for my money, 361 00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:45,259 the best mother in the state of Texas. 362 00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:46,969 You kids are gonna be alright. 363 00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,762 You really think so? 364 00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:51,015 - I do. - [machine whirring] 365 00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:52,599 Thank you, Hank. 366 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:56,603 Oh, I think Peggy had a UTI at some point, too. 367 00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,981 [♪ dance music playing] 368 00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:01,026 - [crowd chatter] - [Connie] Hi, Bobby! 369 00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:04,570 [indistinct chatter] 370 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,031 - You look really nice. - Thank you! 371 00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:09,700 I wore loose clothes, so they wouldn't restrict my diaphragm. 372 00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:10,951 [Connie giggles] 373 00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:12,953 Can I buy you a drink? 374 00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:15,664 - I already got us shots. - Oh! 375 00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:18,335 Okay, it's that kinda night! 376 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,420 Should we, uh, wait for Chane? 377 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,547 Uh, Chane's busy tonight. 378 00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:26,467 Alright, next up we've got Connie S! 379 00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:28,719 - [crowd cheering] - Get up on stage, Connie! 380 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,972 Come on, Bobby! You have to do this song with me. 381 00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:35,142 But, I don't even know what song you picked. 382 00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,478 Trust me. You know it. 383 00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:38,562 ♪ 384 00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:41,482 [Connie] [singing] <i>♪ How do I ♪</i> 385 00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:45,362 <i>♪ Get through one night without you ♪</i> 386 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:49,740 [singing] <i>♪ If I had to live without you ♪</i> 387 00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:53,285 <i>♪ What kinda life would that be? ♪</i> 388 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,579 [Connie and Bobby laughing] 389 00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:58,290 [♪ romantic musical swell] 390 00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:03,045 [both] <i>♪ How do I live without you? ♪</i> 391 00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:05,423 <i>♪ I want to know ♪</i> 392 00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:10,219 <i>♪ How do I breathe without you? ♪</i> 393 00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:13,598 <i>♪ If you ever go ♪</i> 394 00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:16,433 [sobs] I miss my wife. 395 00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:18,852 ♪ 396 00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:21,313 [wind whooshing] 397 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:24,108 Oh, wow! You guys sounded 398 00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:25,317 awful! 399 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,402 But, cute too. 400 00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:28,112 Oh, thanks! 401 00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:31,198 Bobby, this is Ola, my roommate. 402 00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:34,284 I invited her to hang out tonight. I told her all about you, 403 00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:36,662 and I think you guys would really hit it off. 404 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,580 Oh... 405 00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:39,957 Cool. 406 00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:42,459 - [insects chirping] - You shoulda seen that grouting, Peggy. 407 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,712 Those kids were over the moon. 408 00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:47,172 I told them that once the grout dries, 409 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:51,093 they can use a damp cloth to buff that grout haze off the tiles. 410 00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:52,469 - [phone beeps] - [chimp screeching] 411 00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:55,472 There ya go. A perfect five-banana review. 412 00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,725 All is right with the world. 413 00:16:57,726 --> 00:16:59,226 Oh, they even left a comment. 414 00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:02,312 "Thank you for everything. You were so great today, 415 00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:05,816 "we even made a video about you on our YouTube channel. 416 00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:08,027 Click here to watch." 417 00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:10,696 Peggy, look! They made a video about my grouting! 418 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,406 <i>Hey, followers.</i> 419 00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:15,075 <i>Uh, I-I know it's been a while since we posted.</i> 420 00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:18,662 <i>Uh, honestly, we've just been really struggling, and, um,</i> 421 00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:21,373 <i>we weren't sure if we wanted to keep up this parenting blog.</i> 422 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,709 <i>But today, we talked to a man named Hank,</i> 423 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:26,712 <i>who told us all about the struggles he and his wife Peggy went through</i> 424 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,297 <i>when they were new parents.</i> 425 00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:30,632 <i>Hank shared that Peggy had trouble breastfeeding...</i> 426 00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:31,967 - Bwah! - [♪ dramatic sting] 427 00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:34,720 [Lena] <i>...and for Peggy to go through all that while having a UTI</i> 428 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,472 <i>was pretty inspiring for us.</i> 429 00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:39,641 <i>Hashtag UTI gang, hashtag Peggy!</i> 430 00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,144 [♪ dramatic music plays] 431 00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:43,854 ♪ 432 00:17:43,855 --> 00:17:45,230 Peggy, look, I know you're upset 433 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,775 that I told them all that personal stuff about you, 434 00:17:47,776 --> 00:17:50,778 but I panicked! I didn't know what else to do! 435 00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:53,781 That is not why I am upset Hank. 436 00:17:53,782 --> 00:17:56,742 I mean, I am not exactly crazy about my... 437 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:59,912 "lady part struggles" breaking the internet, 438 00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:03,207 but, mostly, I am upset because you are so afraid 439 00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:05,709 to reveal something personal about yourself 440 00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:08,629 that you had to use my experience instead? 441 00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:11,507 Is there nothing inside of you that you can share? 442 00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:14,301 Any feelings, emotions, anything? 443 00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:15,969 Peggy, I just... [sighs] 444 00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:18,263 I'm not good at opening up like that. 445 00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,224 I am well aware, Hank. 446 00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:22,393 And I am going to bed. 447 00:18:22,394 --> 00:18:25,479 [♪ somber music playing] 448 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,605 One of those for me? 449 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,358 So, it's basically a combination 450 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,443 of German and Japanese cuisine. 451 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,821 I call it "Japan-erman." 452 00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:34,988 [Ola giggles] 453 00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,990 I'll grab another round of drinks. 454 00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:39,368 - [♪ country music playing in bar] - [crowd chattering] 455 00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:42,539 - [sipping, gulping] - [ice clinking] 456 00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,873 Ah, look at these losers. 457 00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:47,793 Probably met on some app. What do you think? 458 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,878 Oh yeah. [chuckles] Definitely. 459 00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:52,881 Apps are the worst. Last year, I went on 100 first dates, 460 00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:54,508 and maybe three second dates. 461 00:18:54,509 --> 00:18:58,178 Totally. Plus, you've gotta ask all those first date questions, 462 00:18:58,179 --> 00:19:01,348 like, uh, "What's your favorite kind of sauce?" 463 00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:02,934 [giggling] 464 00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:06,228 Sorry, I don't go on as many dates as you. 465 00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:08,647 Why not? You're cute. 466 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:13,318 I don't know. I'm just really focused on my career right now. 467 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:15,779 I'm usually at the restaurant all day and all night, 468 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:18,657 so I don't really have the time for dating. 469 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,992 Besides, 470 00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:23,245 I don't think I'm gonna meet my soulmate on an app. 471 00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:26,749 I think she's just out there, somewhere. 472 00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:30,169 - [♪ soft music playing] - And when I see her, I'll just know. 473 00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:32,463 That's really sweet. 474 00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:35,299 - [♪ music stops] - Hey, you a husky boy, you tryna eat? 475 00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,426 - What? - Wanna bang? 476 00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:40,679 You're cool. I'm cool. Connie thought you'd probably be into it, 477 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,890 so do you wanna get outta here? 478 00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:44,892 Oh! That's, uh, 479 00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:47,811 really kind of you to offer, 480 00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:50,356 but I actually need to get back to the restaurant 481 00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:51,565 and close things up. 482 00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:53,150 All good. 483 00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:54,902 I'm really sorry. 484 00:19:54,903 --> 00:19:57,905 You're very attractive and... smart. 485 00:19:57,906 --> 00:20:01,408 Bobby, relax. You're too nice. I'm fine. 486 00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:03,410 Okay, well-- Okay. 487 00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:06,872 Really great to-- yes, meet you. 488 00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:08,999 - [Connie] Bobby? - I gotta go! Bye! 489 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,878 ♪ 490 00:20:13,672 --> 00:20:15,381 Hank, for the love of God, 491 00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:17,466 there is nothing left in this house to fix. 492 00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:20,052 Hold on, I'm trying to explain something. 493 00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:23,180 The day we brought Bobby home from the hospital, 494 00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:26,058 I was scared. I didn't know what I was doing. 495 00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:29,770 One day, you were resting and Bobby needed his diaper changed, 496 00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,563 and I'd never done that before. 497 00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:34,233 I couldn't get the diaper to fasten, so I... 498 00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:37,904 I used this staple gun to fasten the diaper. 499 00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:41,323 Okay... 500 00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:44,535 Dang it, Peggy, I told you an embarrassing story about myself, 501 00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:45,619 so now we're even! 502 00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:48,539 That is not the same as opening up, Hank! 503 00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:51,000 I know something is going on with you. 504 00:20:51,001 --> 00:20:54,169 Every chance you get, you are out the door, 505 00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:56,922 working on some silly ChoreChimp job! 506 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,924 Well, what do you want me to say, Peggy? 507 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:02,428 That ever since I retired, I feel like I don't have a purpose? 508 00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:04,930 That I wanted to help Boomhauer out so badly 509 00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:07,850 because I just wanted to feel useful to somebody? 510 00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:11,228 I'm sure you'd just love me to tell you how scared I am 511 00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:14,189 that I'll never feel satisfied unless I'm working. 512 00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:17,276 Well, too bad, Peggy. I'm not gonna say all that. 513 00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:20,654 I'm not a contestant on some nude baking show. 514 00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:22,698 I'm from a different generation. 515 00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:25,034 We keep that stuff inside. 516 00:21:25,035 --> 00:21:26,577 Oh, Hank. 517 00:21:26,578 --> 00:21:28,746 - I'm sorry. - It's okay. 518 00:21:28,747 --> 00:21:31,665 - I feel the same way. - You do? 519 00:21:31,666 --> 00:21:34,084 I have not known what to do with myself 520 00:21:34,085 --> 00:21:36,587 since I got back from Saudi Arabia. 521 00:21:36,588 --> 00:21:38,839 Yesterday, I watched 12 hours 522 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,508 of that godforsaken reality show. 523 00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:44,511 That is not how I pictured my golden years. 524 00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:47,681 Well... [sighs] okay. So, what do we do? 525 00:21:47,682 --> 00:21:49,558 I think we talk about it, 526 00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:51,393 and we work through it. 527 00:21:51,394 --> 00:21:52,853 Together, Hank. 528 00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:54,980 - [kiss smacking] - [♪ gentle music playing] 529 00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:56,565 Oh, and by the way, 530 00:21:56,566 --> 00:21:58,650 I knew about the staple thing. 531 00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:01,362 - You did? - [laughs] Hank! There were holes 532 00:22:01,363 --> 00:22:03,864 where you pried the staples out of the crib! 533 00:22:03,865 --> 00:22:06,743 Did you think I was not going to notice? 534 00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:09,036 [grinding, whirring] 535 00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:12,164 Hey, man! There's somebody waitin' for you on the balcony. 536 00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:13,750 [♪ soft music playing] 537 00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:16,502 - Hi, Bobby. - Hi! 538 00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:18,545 [clears throat] Um, 539 00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,631 how did you know where I live? 540 00:22:20,632 --> 00:22:22,592 Guessed. Nailed it! 541 00:22:23,093 --> 00:22:24,344 I called Joseph. 542 00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:26,887 I just wanted to say I'm sorry. 543 00:22:26,888 --> 00:22:30,099 I didn't mean to ambush you by trying to set you up with Ola. 544 00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:32,935 I just thought it would've been cool if you guys hit it off 545 00:22:32,936 --> 00:22:35,896 because that way, we could all hang out together. 546 00:22:35,897 --> 00:22:39,692 I just... I really want us to be friends, you know? 547 00:22:39,693 --> 00:22:41,151 That's what I want, too. 548 00:22:41,152 --> 00:22:42,528 Yeah? 549 00:22:42,529 --> 00:22:44,113 Yep. 550 00:22:44,114 --> 00:22:46,990 - Oh, is "The Adulterers" on? - What's "The Adulterers"? 551 00:22:46,991 --> 00:22:48,575 You're gonna love this! 552 00:22:48,576 --> 00:22:50,828 You see those two people in that apartment? 553 00:22:50,829 --> 00:22:53,497 They are having a torrid affair! 554 00:22:53,498 --> 00:22:56,167 You can be the man. His name is Roderick. 555 00:22:57,210 --> 00:23:00,754 [soft voice] "Oh, Roderick, will you make love to me tonight?" 556 00:23:00,755 --> 00:23:03,090 [deep voice] "Of course, my love. 557 00:23:03,091 --> 00:23:06,593 Let me just finish disposing of your husband's dismembered body." 558 00:23:06,594 --> 00:23:09,388 See, Joseph? That's how ya do it. 559 00:23:09,389 --> 00:23:10,889 [Joseph] Oh! 560 00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:11,975 ♪ 561 00:23:12,809 --> 00:23:16,021 [♪ "Yahoos and Triangles" by The Refreshments playing] 562 00:23:31,536 --> 00:23:34,205 <i>- ♪ Yee-haw! ♪ - ♪ Wa-hoo! ♪</i> 563 00:23:52,390 --> 00:23:53,390 [♪ song ends] 564 00:23:53,391 --> 00:23:54,475 [birds chirping] 565 00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:56,393 - [golf club thumps] - [crowd cheering] 566 00:23:56,394 --> 00:23:58,437 ♪ 567 00:23:58,438 --> 00:24:01,440 [Hank] <i>I'm not a contestant on some nude baking show.</i> 568 00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:04,444 [♪ fanfare playing] 568 00:24:05,305 --> 00:25:05,285 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org