"Grantchester" Episode #10.3

1 00:00:01,070 --> 00:00:03,244 Viewers like you make this program possible. 2 00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:05,350 Support your local PBS station. 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:13,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 4 00:00:32,135 --> 00:00:34,137 [Mrs Chapman] There you are. Come on. 5 00:00:35,311 --> 00:00:36,795 Chop, chop. 6 00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:38,141 [telephone ringing] 7 00:00:39,660 --> 00:00:43,043 -[Alphy] Liquorice. -[Geordie] So, first date. 8 00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:46,494 All ready for dinner with Minxie Meg, the librarian? 9 00:00:46,529 --> 00:00:48,703 [Alphy] I would be if I wasn't on the phone to you. 10 00:00:48,738 --> 00:00:50,050 [Geordie] What's on the menu? 11 00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:52,983 [Alphy] For starters, I've made chicken liver pate. 12 00:00:53,018 --> 00:00:54,882 [Geordie] Let me stop you there. 13 00:00:54,916 --> 00:00:57,229 -Chicken liver? -[Alphy] It's quick. 14 00:00:57,264 --> 00:00:58,575 It's tasty. 15 00:00:58,610 --> 00:01:01,337 [Geordie] It's the liver of a chicken, Alphy. 16 00:01:01,371 --> 00:01:03,373 [Alphy chuckles] And offal doesn't say romance? 17 00:01:06,273 --> 00:01:07,998 [Geordie] What's the main course? Tripe? 18 00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:10,449 [Alphy] You really aren't helping my nerves here, Geordie. 19 00:01:10,484 --> 00:01:12,072 [Geordie] You've got nothing to worry about. 20 00:01:13,211 --> 00:01:14,246 [Alphy] What if she hates the dog 21 00:01:14,281 --> 00:01:16,248 or I give her food poisoning? 22 00:01:16,283 --> 00:01:18,630 [Geordie] Well, you've got those things to worry about, sure. 23 00:01:19,838 --> 00:01:21,322 Alphy. 24 00:01:21,357 --> 00:01:23,980 You're delightful and she's delightful. 25 00:01:24,014 --> 00:01:26,362 -Don't overthink it. -Don't overthink it. 26 00:01:26,396 --> 00:01:28,536 -I can do that. -And the flowers? 27 00:01:28,571 --> 00:01:29,986 Flowers? 28 00:01:30,020 --> 00:01:31,401 Have you got flowers? 29 00:01:31,436 --> 00:01:32,609 Should I have flowers? 30 00:01:33,610 --> 00:01:34,853 The boy's an amateur. 31 00:01:42,826 --> 00:01:43,827 Sorry. 32 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:51,456 Oh, I say, what a to-do, what a to-do, what a to-do. 33 00:01:51,490 --> 00:01:54,044 [all laughing] 34 00:01:54,907 --> 00:01:56,116 Oh, I... 35 00:01:57,427 --> 00:02:02,605 Oh, I say, what a to-do, what a to-do, what a to-do. 36 00:02:03,468 --> 00:02:07,886 -[all laughing] -Do it again, David. 37 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,923 -He's such a card. -Go on, David, show him. 38 00:02:10,958 --> 00:02:12,718 [Dora] It's hilarious. 39 00:02:18,828 --> 00:02:20,209 -[telephone ringing] -[Cathy] What are you doing? 40 00:02:20,243 --> 00:02:21,796 We were watching that. 41 00:02:21,831 --> 00:02:23,971 [Geordie] Don't happen to think it's very funny, that's all. 42 00:02:29,528 --> 00:02:31,323 -Hello? -[Larry] Boss? 43 00:02:31,358 --> 00:02:32,807 Sorry to call you on your night off. 44 00:02:34,257 --> 00:02:35,362 Boss? 45 00:02:35,396 --> 00:02:36,570 I'm here. 46 00:02:37,122 --> 00:02:38,123 What is it, Larry? 47 00:02:42,265 --> 00:02:43,439 What do we think? 48 00:02:48,340 --> 00:02:49,962 She's the bishop's daughter. 49 00:02:49,997 --> 00:02:52,275 God forbid she sees my clavicle. 50 00:02:52,310 --> 00:02:54,035 This could be the future Mrs Kottaram. 51 00:02:54,070 --> 00:02:57,246 Whoa, whoa. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. 52 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:00,076 One error could ruin your entire future. 53 00:03:01,388 --> 00:03:03,666 Oh, well, that's put me at ease. Thank you. 54 00:03:11,846 --> 00:03:14,677 -You want me to go, don't you? -Very much so, yes. 55 00:03:14,711 --> 00:03:15,954 -[knocking at door] -I'll get it. 56 00:03:22,616 --> 00:03:25,722 -Miss Grey. -Mrs Chapman. 57 00:03:25,757 --> 00:03:29,070 -She's just leaving. -Aren't you looking smashing? 58 00:03:29,105 --> 00:03:31,935 -Doesn't she look smashing? -Love to Jack, Mrs C. 59 00:03:31,970 --> 00:03:34,317 He's been a bag of nerves all day, bless him. 60 00:03:34,352 --> 00:03:36,699 -All a fluster. -Not really. 61 00:03:36,733 --> 00:03:37,734 Liar. 62 00:03:38,459 --> 00:03:39,667 Do you like slow gin? 63 00:03:39,702 --> 00:03:42,256 I can't say I've ever tried it. 64 00:03:42,291 --> 00:03:43,637 I'll get out my special batch. 65 00:03:43,671 --> 00:03:45,708 Usually only comes out at funerals. 66 00:03:45,742 --> 00:03:47,744 Oh, that funeral can be arranged. 67 00:03:50,609 --> 00:03:51,610 Have fun. 68 00:03:52,887 --> 00:03:54,026 Not too much fun. 69 00:03:59,963 --> 00:04:01,068 You do, by the way. 70 00:04:02,207 --> 00:04:03,346 Do what? 71 00:04:03,795 --> 00:04:04,796 Look smashing. 72 00:04:06,004 --> 00:04:07,005 Thank you. 73 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,007 Likewise. 74 00:04:15,565 --> 00:04:17,015 Alphy, can we make a pact? 75 00:04:19,155 --> 00:04:20,915 -Sure. -That if this evening 76 00:04:20,950 --> 00:04:24,125 -doesn't work out... -If we run out of things to say. 77 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:27,819 -Or I insult your cooking. -Or we disagree on politics. 78 00:04:27,853 --> 00:04:30,822 -Or there's just... -Absolutely no spark. 79 00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:35,033 Then we shake hands and part on good terms. 80 00:04:36,241 --> 00:04:38,105 Maybe meet for a coffee once in a while? 81 00:04:39,002 --> 00:04:41,004 That's not going to happen. 82 00:04:41,039 --> 00:04:42,040 No? 83 00:04:42,903 --> 00:04:44,422 I can't stand coffee. 84 00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:46,458 [chuckling] 85 00:04:50,669 --> 00:04:52,809 [Larry] What time did you last see her alive? 86 00:04:52,844 --> 00:04:53,845 Wakey, wakey. 87 00:04:54,363 --> 00:04:55,916 [snoring] 88 00:04:58,367 --> 00:04:59,609 Drunk as a skunk. 89 00:05:00,645 --> 00:05:02,957 Why does it always have to be Saturday night? 90 00:05:02,992 --> 00:05:05,684 Do you know what Saturday night should be, Larry? 91 00:05:05,719 --> 00:05:06,996 -Steak and onions? -Steak and onions. 92 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,483 Stab wound. 93 00:05:11,518 --> 00:05:13,174 Narrow blade by the looks of it. 94 00:05:14,417 --> 00:05:16,039 [Larry] Mrs Tassel ran the place. 95 00:05:17,869 --> 00:05:21,044 -Mrs Tassel? -Of Tassel Strip Club. 96 00:05:22,770 --> 00:05:26,049 -The club isn't named after her. -Isn't it? 97 00:05:26,084 --> 00:05:28,466 Have you never been to a strip club, Larry? 98 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:31,434 The whole thing makes me feel a bit queasy, if I'm honest. 99 00:05:31,469 --> 00:05:33,022 I can explain it to him if you want. 100 00:05:33,056 --> 00:05:35,058 No, not necessary, Miss... 101 00:05:35,093 --> 00:05:38,130 Kitty. But you can call me whatever you like, sweetheart. 102 00:05:38,165 --> 00:05:39,822 Kitty'll do. 103 00:05:39,856 --> 00:05:42,652 -Where's the cash? -Should be in that box. 104 00:05:42,687 --> 00:05:44,171 [Larry] Stanley here's the doorman. 105 00:05:44,205 --> 00:05:47,623 Doorman, barman, general dog's body. 106 00:05:47,657 --> 00:05:49,659 -Busy night? -Yeah, should be a good 50 quid 107 00:05:49,694 --> 00:05:50,557 in there. 108 00:05:50,591 --> 00:05:52,075 Some bugger's nicked it. 109 00:05:54,215 --> 00:05:57,426 -So she's sitting here? -Watching Joan give her Salome. 110 00:05:58,599 --> 00:06:00,325 That one's lost on me, too. 111 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,154 Midway through, she just slumped. 112 00:06:02,189 --> 00:06:03,673 Girls thought she'd had one too many. 113 00:06:03,708 --> 00:06:05,365 She always has one too many. 114 00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:07,988 -No-one stabbed her? -No-one touched her. 115 00:06:08,022 --> 00:06:09,023 She just... 116 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,164 Like a great big sack of potatoes. 117 00:06:13,442 --> 00:06:15,375 -Where were you? -Upstairs, on the door. 118 00:06:18,274 --> 00:06:19,655 I want all these fellas interviewed. 119 00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:23,106 -Any other girls? -Joan. 120 00:06:23,141 --> 00:06:26,834 -I'll want to talk to her, too. -You'll have a hard job of that. 121 00:06:26,869 --> 00:06:27,870 She left with the vicar. 122 00:06:28,905 --> 00:06:29,906 The vicar? 123 00:06:36,879 --> 00:06:39,088 You wait there for me. Follow me, sir. 124 00:06:55,104 --> 00:06:56,105 Mind your head. 125 00:06:57,002 --> 00:06:58,452 Thank you, handsome. 126 00:07:00,523 --> 00:07:01,697 [speaking indistinctly] 127 00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:07,392 Sneaky Pete's. 128 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:10,326 -[Geordie] Know where it is? -Down by the river. 129 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,466 Maybe there's a bit of rivalry going on. 130 00:07:12,501 --> 00:07:13,502 What do you reckon? 131 00:07:13,536 --> 00:07:15,331 Sneaky Pete's bumping off the competition? 132 00:07:15,365 --> 00:07:16,884 Get down there, see what you can find. 133 00:07:17,782 --> 00:07:19,197 Oh, and get uniform on the lookout 134 00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:21,820 -for a stripper and a vicar. -Shouldn't be too hard to find. 135 00:07:21,855 --> 00:07:22,856 Kitty! 136 00:07:25,203 --> 00:07:26,963 Make that two strippers and a vicar. 137 00:07:31,278 --> 00:07:32,452 Bon appetit. 138 00:07:37,111 --> 00:07:38,906 It's more edible than it looks. 139 00:07:39,873 --> 00:07:41,702 I'm not going to make love to you. 140 00:07:41,737 --> 00:07:43,186 I'm sorry? 141 00:07:43,221 --> 00:07:45,361 I just want to get that out of the way 142 00:07:45,395 --> 00:07:47,397 so that there isn't any expectation. 143 00:07:47,432 --> 00:07:50,159 There aren't any expectations. 144 00:07:50,193 --> 00:07:52,989 So the candlelight and the flowers? 145 00:07:53,024 --> 00:07:57,304 -The flowers weren't my idea. -Just feels a bit wooey. 146 00:07:57,338 --> 00:07:59,651 -Wooey? -I just don't want you expecting 147 00:07:59,686 --> 00:08:02,930 we'll go straight to the main course, as it were. 148 00:08:02,965 --> 00:08:05,864 All I was expecting was some good conversation. 149 00:08:05,899 --> 00:08:09,109 -Not even a bit of kissing? -Well, I didn't like to presume. 150 00:08:10,075 --> 00:08:11,767 -Glad to hear it. -[door opens] 151 00:08:12,733 --> 00:08:14,977 [Mrs Chapman] Yoo-hoo! Only me! 152 00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:17,669 I'll be right back. 153 00:08:20,569 --> 00:08:23,675 -I couldn't leave. -Yes, you could. 154 00:08:23,710 --> 00:08:26,920 Just found these two wandering in the churchyard. 155 00:08:26,954 --> 00:08:30,993 If he calls me poppet once, I will not be responsible 156 00:08:31,027 --> 00:08:32,028 for my actions. 157 00:08:38,414 --> 00:08:40,312 [Lane] Everything's going to be fine. 158 00:08:40,347 --> 00:08:41,521 David? 159 00:08:42,107 --> 00:08:43,523 Alphy, my boy. 160 00:08:45,490 --> 00:08:48,182 -How are we? -Busy, as it happens. 161 00:08:48,217 --> 00:08:50,599 This is Joan, the Reverend's niece. 162 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:55,224 -Your niece. -Apparently so. 163 00:08:55,258 --> 00:08:59,608 -Joan, Alphy. It's a pleasure. -Pleasure's all mine, darling. 164 00:08:59,642 --> 00:09:03,335 -Is the study free? -Now is really not a good time. 165 00:09:03,370 --> 00:09:05,165 I wouldn't be asking if it wasn't of vital 166 00:09:05,199 --> 00:09:06,304 clerical importance. 167 00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:07,788 Can't you go to the bishop? 168 00:09:07,823 --> 00:09:09,514 No. No. 169 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,516 He cannot know about any of this. 170 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,001 I don't mean to be alarmist, but you've cremated the toast. 171 00:09:15,624 --> 00:09:16,590 Mr Lane. 172 00:09:18,143 --> 00:09:21,906 David, you know Miss Grey, the bishop's daughter? 173 00:09:21,940 --> 00:09:23,079 Of course. 174 00:09:23,942 --> 00:09:25,357 The bishop's daughter. 175 00:09:26,324 --> 00:09:28,568 Well, this is, erm... 176 00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:31,156 This really is, erm... 177 00:09:31,191 --> 00:09:32,502 Isn't it just? 178 00:09:35,091 --> 00:09:39,061 Alphy, I know we haven't always seen eye to eye, 179 00:09:39,095 --> 00:09:41,373 but I really need your help. 180 00:09:47,863 --> 00:09:49,105 Do you mind? 181 00:09:49,140 --> 00:09:52,522 Who am I to get in the way of vital clerical importance? 182 00:09:58,183 --> 00:10:00,461 How do you feel about burnt toast? 183 00:10:00,496 --> 00:10:03,188 -Quite partial as it happens. -Marvellous. 184 00:10:03,223 --> 00:10:05,432 -Shall we? -Can I take your coat, miss? 185 00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:07,572 Probably best if you don't. 186 00:10:10,817 --> 00:10:13,958 -With regard to my niece... -David, we both know 187 00:10:13,992 --> 00:10:15,338 she's not your niece. 188 00:10:15,373 --> 00:10:18,100 The thing is, she's in a touch of bother. 189 00:10:18,134 --> 00:10:19,757 The kind that requires sanctuary. 190 00:10:19,791 --> 00:10:22,173 Technically, that only applies to the church. 191 00:10:22,207 --> 00:10:24,313 Yes, we tried the church. It was locked. 192 00:10:24,347 --> 00:10:27,109 What are you seeking sanctuary from, exactly? 193 00:10:27,143 --> 00:10:30,664 Well, in a roundabout way, it's all to do with King Herod. 194 00:10:31,527 --> 00:10:32,908 [Mrs Chapman] Alphy! 195 00:10:32,942 --> 00:10:33,943 Visitor! 196 00:10:38,396 --> 00:10:39,949 Is the vicar here? 197 00:10:39,984 --> 00:10:41,157 -Which one? -David. 198 00:10:42,262 --> 00:10:43,539 He'll do, though. 199 00:10:44,540 --> 00:10:46,369 -Hello, handsome. -[Alphy] Hello. 200 00:10:46,404 --> 00:10:49,131 He said he'd be in the church, but it's locked. 201 00:10:49,165 --> 00:10:52,065 -Ah, another niece. -Oh, no. 202 00:10:52,099 --> 00:10:53,480 I'm here because of the murder. 203 00:10:56,345 --> 00:10:57,760 How'd you find me? 204 00:10:57,795 --> 00:11:00,590 -Bike. Car. -Who's he calling a bike? 205 00:11:00,625 --> 00:11:03,041 -We followed you, Kit. -Oh. 206 00:11:04,146 --> 00:11:05,147 I think I'd better come in. 207 00:11:09,013 --> 00:11:10,428 I think you'd better. 208 00:11:38,870 --> 00:11:40,044 [door opens] 209 00:11:41,045 --> 00:11:42,115 Is now a good time? 210 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,567 Well, it depends on your definition of good. 211 00:11:48,777 --> 00:11:51,814 Daniel and I have had the most dreadful argument. 212 00:11:51,849 --> 00:11:53,609 I said he's been away far too long. 213 00:11:53,643 --> 00:11:56,646 He called me self-centred. Me. 214 00:11:56,681 --> 00:11:58,372 I'm not the one who thinks the world revolves around him. 215 00:11:58,407 --> 00:12:00,202 I'm not the one who acts like no one else exists. 216 00:12:00,236 --> 00:12:01,375 Leonard. 217 00:12:06,001 --> 00:12:07,312 Oh. 218 00:12:07,347 --> 00:12:08,520 Hello. 219 00:12:10,212 --> 00:12:12,939 Well, this looks... 220 00:12:12,973 --> 00:12:15,355 Do you know, I'm not actually sure what this looks like. 221 00:12:15,389 --> 00:12:17,909 It's a copper, two vicars, two strippers. 222 00:12:17,944 --> 00:12:19,117 You're strippers? 223 00:12:19,152 --> 00:12:21,395 I prefer carnal artiste. 224 00:12:22,465 --> 00:12:24,122 I'm just here for the food. 225 00:12:24,157 --> 00:12:25,606 Well, I should probably just go. 226 00:12:25,641 --> 00:12:27,988 No, stay, why don't you? 227 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:32,199 Yeah, stay, why don't you? 228 00:12:32,234 --> 00:12:33,753 [Leonard] This is nice. 229 00:12:36,134 --> 00:12:37,446 Hello, handsome. 230 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,966 [Geordie] Everyone who witnessed a murder today, hands up. 231 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:46,041 Right, you lot. Statements. Starting with you. 232 00:12:57,293 --> 00:12:58,467 Geordie. 233 00:13:00,193 --> 00:13:01,263 I'm on a date. 234 00:13:01,297 --> 00:13:03,127 Correction, you were on a date. 235 00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:05,992 You're not leaving, are you? 236 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:07,821 I'm a librarian. 237 00:13:07,856 --> 00:13:11,135 A librarian who is also a bishop's daughter. 238 00:13:12,722 --> 00:13:16,830 -Not your usual dinner guests. -It's not the girls I object to. 239 00:13:16,865 --> 00:13:20,627 It's that horrid little man, Reverend Lane. 240 00:13:20,661 --> 00:13:23,492 Yeah, well, I nearly punched him once, so... 241 00:13:23,526 --> 00:13:26,322 I don't usually advocate violence, but in his case... 242 00:13:26,357 --> 00:13:28,428 Stay. Please. 243 00:13:29,325 --> 00:13:30,499 There's crumble. 244 00:13:32,466 --> 00:13:33,847 I do love crumble. 245 00:13:33,882 --> 00:13:36,470 It will be just the two of us soon, I promise. 246 00:13:36,505 --> 00:13:38,196 Anyone hungry? 247 00:13:38,231 --> 00:13:40,267 He's made my famous coq au vin. 248 00:13:40,302 --> 00:13:42,062 Rather partial to a coq au vin myself. 249 00:13:42,891 --> 00:13:44,858 Aren't we all, darling? 250 00:13:44,893 --> 00:13:46,273 [Mrs Chapman] Leonard, you get the plates. 251 00:13:46,308 --> 00:13:47,930 Just the two of us, you say. 252 00:13:47,965 --> 00:13:49,000 [Geordie] Alphy! 253 00:13:50,381 --> 00:13:51,796 I'll be right back. 254 00:13:58,976 --> 00:14:00,149 Truth time, Reverend. 255 00:14:01,254 --> 00:14:02,427 Which one? 256 00:14:03,739 --> 00:14:04,636 You. 257 00:14:04,671 --> 00:14:05,810 What were you doing at the strip club? 258 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,432 One might ask what you're doing, cavorting with 259 00:14:07,467 --> 00:14:08,709 the bishop's daughter. 260 00:14:08,744 --> 00:14:11,057 I don't think the two are morally equivalent, David. 261 00:14:12,506 --> 00:14:14,543 I minister to the girls. 262 00:14:14,577 --> 00:14:17,477 Stanley says you help them with their artistry. 263 00:14:17,511 --> 00:14:19,617 Well, they needed direction. 264 00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:21,619 Before I stepped in, Kitty looked like 265 00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:24,001 she was hurling grenades at enemy lines. 266 00:14:24,035 --> 00:14:26,451 Come on, David. This isn't about artistry. 267 00:14:26,486 --> 00:14:30,283 Jesus befriended the destitute, the tax collectors, 268 00:14:30,317 --> 00:14:32,078 the prostitutes. 269 00:14:32,112 --> 00:14:34,804 I am just following his fine example. 270 00:14:34,839 --> 00:14:36,047 Funny. 271 00:14:36,082 --> 00:14:38,256 He didn't choose to hang about down the tax office. 272 00:14:38,291 --> 00:14:39,913 These girls are troubled. 273 00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:41,639 They're drunks. 274 00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:43,883 They're also, I'm not sure if you've noticed, 275 00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:45,885 cavorting about in their birthday suits. 276 00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:47,058 [scoffs] 277 00:14:47,093 --> 00:14:48,888 It's all very tasteful. 278 00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:51,821 They keep their harvest festivals firmly on. 279 00:14:53,202 --> 00:14:55,618 -Their what? -Their drawers. 280 00:14:55,653 --> 00:14:57,413 I call them their harvest festivals 281 00:14:57,448 --> 00:15:00,037 because all is safely gathered in. 282 00:15:02,453 --> 00:15:04,627 -The woman who died? -Madam. 283 00:15:04,662 --> 00:15:05,870 [Geordie] You saw what happened to her? 284 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:06,906 Yes. 285 00:15:08,528 --> 00:15:11,082 -So what happened? -I have absolutely no idea. 286 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,851 -Well, she just slumped. -No one went near her. 287 00:15:21,886 --> 00:15:23,992 -Nobody touched her. -She just carked it. 288 00:15:24,026 --> 00:15:25,855 Right there in the back row. 289 00:15:25,890 --> 00:15:27,719 Sounds like a heart attack to me. 290 00:15:27,754 --> 00:15:30,481 -Or a brain aneurysm. -Well, either that or whatever 291 00:15:30,515 --> 00:15:32,241 stabbed her in the back of the neck. 292 00:15:32,276 --> 00:15:36,038 -Aneurysm? Aren't you clever? -You're a nice cup of tea, Kit. 293 00:15:37,626 --> 00:15:39,421 -Oh. -How can you tell? 294 00:15:39,455 --> 00:15:42,182 I just can. It's innate, I reckon. 295 00:15:42,217 --> 00:15:43,390 From birth. 296 00:15:46,290 --> 00:15:48,154 So there was no sign of a weapon? 297 00:15:48,188 --> 00:15:50,466 -None. -Like the hand of God took her. 298 00:15:50,501 --> 00:15:53,297 In novels, it's always an icicle. 299 00:15:53,331 --> 00:15:56,265 The weapon just melts away. Ingenious. 300 00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:58,681 -So the Madam... -Not the madam. 301 00:15:58,716 --> 00:16:01,270 She's not a madam. We're not on the game. 302 00:16:01,305 --> 00:16:02,651 Cover your ears. 303 00:16:02,685 --> 00:16:05,102 She just called herself Madam because it sounded... 304 00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,828 Classy? 305 00:16:07,863 --> 00:16:09,658 I suppose it adds a bit of je ne sais quoi. 306 00:16:09,692 --> 00:16:12,523 -Bien sur. -[both chuckling] 307 00:16:12,557 --> 00:16:14,732 So she never forced you to go with the customers? 308 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,321 Give them a few, 309 00:16:18,184 --> 00:16:20,669 -you know, added extras. -No. 310 00:16:20,703 --> 00:16:22,119 No. 311 00:16:22,153 --> 00:16:23,948 Not unless we wanted to, of course. 312 00:16:24,845 --> 00:16:25,881 So Madam was well liked? 313 00:16:25,915 --> 00:16:27,572 [Stanley] Well, she wasn't a saint or nothing, 314 00:16:27,607 --> 00:16:29,229 but she wasn't all bad. 315 00:16:29,264 --> 00:16:30,541 She was horrible to you, Stanley. 316 00:16:30,575 --> 00:16:31,887 There's no need to be kind. 317 00:16:32,957 --> 00:16:34,683 She was as mean as a rattlesnake, she was. 318 00:16:34,717 --> 00:16:36,167 [Kitty] I was quite fond of her. 319 00:16:36,202 --> 00:16:37,927 The customers, on the other hand. 320 00:16:37,962 --> 00:16:40,551 -Pigs, I imagine. -That's men for you. 321 00:16:40,585 --> 00:16:43,036 -Amen to that, darling. -Amen. 322 00:16:43,071 --> 00:16:44,072 [glasses clink] 323 00:16:47,075 --> 00:16:48,076 Top up, anyone? 324 00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:50,802 Stanley. 325 00:16:53,978 --> 00:16:57,533 So you collect the entrance fee when the punters arrive? 326 00:16:57,568 --> 00:16:59,949 Well, VIPs get a green raffle ticket. 327 00:16:59,984 --> 00:17:01,227 Everybody else gets a plain one. 328 00:17:01,261 --> 00:17:03,298 And what does being a VIP get you? 329 00:17:03,332 --> 00:17:04,920 Free drinks. 330 00:17:04,954 --> 00:17:05,817 Chat with the girls. 331 00:17:05,852 --> 00:17:08,268 Only way in and out is the stairs. 332 00:17:08,303 --> 00:17:09,338 [Stanley] That's right. 333 00:17:09,373 --> 00:17:10,995 So everyone had to come past you. 334 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,101 Do you have a guest list? 335 00:17:13,135 --> 00:17:15,034 We're not the kind of establishment where people 336 00:17:15,068 --> 00:17:16,242 want to leave their names. 337 00:17:16,276 --> 00:17:18,002 Of course not. That would be far too easy. 338 00:17:20,487 --> 00:17:23,076 What about David? How often's he in? 339 00:17:23,111 --> 00:17:24,836 Most nights. 340 00:17:24,871 --> 00:17:27,874 -And he and Madam? -Oh, got on a treat. 341 00:17:27,908 --> 00:17:30,601 -He's a convivial chap. -Convivial? 342 00:17:30,635 --> 00:17:31,809 That's one word for it. 343 00:17:32,982 --> 00:17:35,123 I didn't get much schooling when I were a boy. 344 00:17:36,158 --> 00:17:37,642 He takes the time to sit with me. 345 00:17:39,023 --> 00:17:40,818 Helps me read the paper. 346 00:17:40,852 --> 00:17:42,682 [telephone ringing] 347 00:17:45,374 --> 00:17:46,996 Vicarage? 348 00:17:47,031 --> 00:17:48,653 -Larry? -Larry. 349 00:17:49,309 --> 00:17:50,655 Thank you, Stanley. 350 00:17:53,900 --> 00:17:56,696 Madam could be cruel, but she gave this 351 00:17:56,730 --> 00:17:59,837 lame old fool a job when nobody else would, so... 352 00:18:04,497 --> 00:18:05,670 What you got for me, Larry? 353 00:18:05,705 --> 00:18:07,776 A few complaints about the club. 354 00:18:07,810 --> 00:18:11,883 Loud music. Drunks passed out on doorsteps. 355 00:18:11,918 --> 00:18:15,508 But then there's this fella, Sneaky Pete. 356 00:18:15,542 --> 00:18:18,131 -The rival club owner. -Larry, there is no Sneaky Pete. 357 00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:19,891 No, there is. 358 00:18:20,340 --> 00:18:21,652 Peter White. 359 00:18:21,686 --> 00:18:23,861 Sneaky as they come, apparently. 360 00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:27,313 Well, him and the madam had a bit of argy-bargy recently. 361 00:18:27,347 --> 00:18:29,487 And it's not the Madam, it's... Oh, never mind. 362 00:18:29,522 --> 00:18:30,833 What was the argument about? 363 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,353 What was the argument about? 364 00:18:33,388 --> 00:18:36,736 -Decency, apparently. -Decency? 365 00:18:37,461 --> 00:18:38,979 Between two rival strip clubs? 366 00:18:39,739 --> 00:18:41,948 Sneaky Pete's been stealing. 367 00:18:42,397 --> 00:18:43,536 Stealing what? 368 00:18:45,503 --> 00:18:46,677 [Alphy] Girls. 369 00:18:52,855 --> 00:18:55,617 Just helping myself. Hope you don't mind. 370 00:18:56,963 --> 00:18:58,654 [indistinct conversation] 371 00:19:00,277 --> 00:19:01,450 [Geordie] Kitty. 372 00:19:07,284 --> 00:19:08,699 What's this about Sneaky Pete? 373 00:19:09,907 --> 00:19:11,391 [Alphy] You were dancing for him too. 374 00:19:11,426 --> 00:19:13,428 And Madam was not happy about it. 375 00:19:13,462 --> 00:19:16,431 I dance in a lot of places. There's no harm in that. 376 00:19:17,017 --> 00:19:18,433 Gives you motive. 377 00:19:18,467 --> 00:19:20,745 You kill Madam to escape her evil clutches. 378 00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:23,610 -With an icicle? -That goes without saying. 379 00:19:23,645 --> 00:19:25,440 I was behind the curtain the entire time. 380 00:19:25,474 --> 00:19:26,613 A good ten feet away. 381 00:19:26,648 --> 00:19:27,994 [Geordie] You got a lot of admirers, Kitty? 382 00:19:28,995 --> 00:19:30,997 -A few. -And the rest. 383 00:19:31,031 --> 00:19:33,965 She's our little birthday cake, aren't you, Kit? 384 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:37,003 -Everyone's had a piece. -Joan! 385 00:19:37,037 --> 00:19:38,556 I don't mind. It's the truth. 386 00:19:38,591 --> 00:19:40,558 Any of those admirers there last night? 387 00:19:40,593 --> 00:19:43,078 -Well, yeah, obviously. -The Reverend? 388 00:19:43,112 --> 00:19:44,700 [Joan] He follows her around wherever she goes. 389 00:19:44,735 --> 00:19:46,150 He's her knight in shining armour. 390 00:19:46,909 --> 00:19:49,257 Well, he's sweet, really. 391 00:19:49,291 --> 00:19:53,502 I mean, a weirdo, but, you know, still sweet. 392 00:19:54,262 --> 00:19:55,608 Probably him what done it. 393 00:20:04,133 --> 00:20:05,342 [engine starts] 394 00:20:06,170 --> 00:20:07,171 Is that your car? 395 00:20:11,624 --> 00:20:12,866 Come on. 396 00:20:12,901 --> 00:20:14,040 [engine revs] 397 00:20:14,074 --> 00:20:16,560 -If you move one inch, I will-- -Punch my lights out? 398 00:20:16,594 --> 00:20:17,940 You've threatened me once before. 399 00:20:17,975 --> 00:20:20,426 Yeah? Well, this time I mean it. 400 00:20:20,460 --> 00:20:21,979 I'd listen to him if I were you. 401 00:20:28,123 --> 00:20:29,573 I am a sinner. 402 00:20:32,334 --> 00:20:36,407 I have... impure thoughts. 403 00:20:36,442 --> 00:20:39,030 Ones I try very hard not to indulge. 404 00:20:41,378 --> 00:20:44,173 Helping the girls, it, erm... 405 00:20:44,208 --> 00:20:48,350 -Stops those impure thoughts? -I offer them financial aid. 406 00:20:48,385 --> 00:20:52,285 -I help with... with their... -Artistry? 407 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:53,700 Absolutely. 408 00:20:53,735 --> 00:20:55,737 And you never partake of the wares? 409 00:20:55,771 --> 00:20:59,223 I swear on my mother's grave. 410 00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,397 Bollocks. 411 00:21:02,088 --> 00:21:03,710 And what's about Kitty? 412 00:21:03,745 --> 00:21:07,473 -I am very fond of her. -Fond enough to kill for her? 413 00:21:08,094 --> 00:21:10,130 I am a man of God. 414 00:21:14,997 --> 00:21:15,998 What are you doing? 415 00:21:16,792 --> 00:21:19,278 I've known too many men of God. 416 00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:21,210 It's time we did this in a more formal setting. 417 00:21:21,245 --> 00:21:24,593 Please, I have a reputation to uphold. 418 00:21:24,628 --> 00:21:27,113 Says the fellow running around with the strippers. 419 00:21:28,217 --> 00:21:30,634 My calling is all I have. 420 00:21:31,635 --> 00:21:35,466 Geordie, do we have to make this so public? 421 00:21:37,365 --> 00:21:38,849 He's the one making it public. 422 00:21:40,851 --> 00:21:43,785 Sex, sex, sex. This country is sex-mad. 423 00:21:44,958 --> 00:21:47,064 What does that do for the next generation, eh? 424 00:21:48,410 --> 00:21:50,067 Hey, Larry. 425 00:21:50,101 --> 00:21:51,344 Send the Black Maria. 426 00:21:51,379 --> 00:21:52,552 [exhales] 427 00:21:55,072 --> 00:21:57,764 Have you ever thought about becoming a secretary? 428 00:21:57,799 --> 00:22:00,595 -Or an usher at the theatre. -Or a seamstress. 429 00:22:00,629 --> 00:22:02,182 Good money in dresses. 430 00:22:02,217 --> 00:22:04,806 -More money out of them. -[all laughing] 431 00:22:05,772 --> 00:22:07,636 You're worth so much more than this. 432 00:22:07,671 --> 00:22:09,086 -Both of you. -We know. 433 00:22:13,539 --> 00:22:14,850 So there was no knife in sight? 434 00:22:15,541 --> 00:22:17,439 -Nope. -No one touched her. 435 00:22:17,474 --> 00:22:19,855 -Nope. -It's impossible. 436 00:22:19,890 --> 00:22:21,719 I keep coming back to the icicle. 437 00:22:21,754 --> 00:22:22,858 Me too. 438 00:22:22,893 --> 00:22:24,964 I can't help thinking it does have something to do 439 00:22:24,998 --> 00:22:26,172 with King Herod. 440 00:22:26,206 --> 00:22:27,898 So you were on stage, Joan. 441 00:22:27,932 --> 00:22:29,278 [Joan] I was doing my dance with the five veils. 442 00:22:29,313 --> 00:22:32,178 -Seven veils, isn't it? -I do it with five. 443 00:22:32,212 --> 00:22:34,214 The fellas lose interest otherwise. 444 00:22:34,249 --> 00:22:35,388 Fair enough. 445 00:22:36,044 --> 00:22:37,045 So... 446 00:22:38,943 --> 00:22:41,083 Madam is here, say. 447 00:22:41,118 --> 00:22:42,637 And I'm up here. 448 00:22:43,879 --> 00:22:44,880 And where are you? 449 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,093 I had a ciggy, if that's important. 450 00:22:51,128 --> 00:22:53,095 [gasps] You know what we should do? 451 00:22:53,130 --> 00:22:54,787 Do not say reconstruction. 452 00:22:54,821 --> 00:22:57,410 All my theatrical training has been leading to this moment. 453 00:22:57,445 --> 00:23:00,102 -What theatrical training? -I did the nativity. 454 00:23:00,137 --> 00:23:01,414 It was a triumph. 455 00:23:01,449 --> 00:23:03,968 It was very far from a triumph, Leonard. 456 00:23:05,142 --> 00:23:07,040 I was here. 457 00:23:09,077 --> 00:23:10,423 [Leonard] Stanley? 458 00:23:10,458 --> 00:23:13,046 My knees are giving me a bit of jib, I'm afraid. 459 00:23:13,081 --> 00:23:15,290 You take a seat, Stanley, dear boy. 460 00:23:15,324 --> 00:23:16,774 That's fine. 461 00:23:16,809 --> 00:23:18,086 I'll play you. 462 00:23:18,120 --> 00:23:19,156 This is a complete waste of time. 463 00:23:19,190 --> 00:23:20,675 Well, how far's the Black Maria? 464 00:23:20,709 --> 00:23:22,228 It's 20 minutes. 465 00:23:22,262 --> 00:23:24,057 We need veils and chairs. 466 00:23:24,506 --> 00:23:25,645 You fix the gins. 467 00:23:26,474 --> 00:23:27,785 I'll get the tea towels. 468 00:23:28,268 --> 00:23:29,408 Hmm. 469 00:23:36,069 --> 00:23:39,452 Ooh. On a search for props. 470 00:23:44,112 --> 00:23:46,459 We can call the whole thing off if you'd rather. 471 00:23:46,494 --> 00:23:47,702 Do what you like, Leonard. 472 00:23:50,532 --> 00:23:51,706 When did you know? 473 00:23:52,672 --> 00:23:53,673 Know what? 474 00:23:55,157 --> 00:23:56,158 That you... 475 00:23:57,297 --> 00:24:00,369 You know, you liked the fellas. 476 00:24:02,924 --> 00:24:04,443 I think I've always known. 477 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,030 Deep down. 478 00:24:08,032 --> 00:24:09,033 Ten years old? 479 00:24:10,138 --> 00:24:11,450 Certainly by then. 480 00:24:12,278 --> 00:24:13,452 And your parents? 481 00:24:14,418 --> 00:24:15,557 Did they know? 482 00:24:17,766 --> 00:24:22,219 My father, he always made it clear I was a disappointment. 483 00:24:22,253 --> 00:24:23,496 So... 484 00:24:26,913 --> 00:24:28,363 Did you ever wear dresses? 485 00:24:29,053 --> 00:24:29,985 Dresses? 486 00:24:30,020 --> 00:24:32,678 I'm more of a sweater vest kind of a chap. 487 00:24:34,542 --> 00:24:36,060 Why on earth do you ask that? 488 00:24:37,752 --> 00:24:41,894 I had a felon in today, dressed up like my mother 489 00:24:41,928 --> 00:24:42,929 on Christmas morning. 490 00:24:44,310 --> 00:24:45,725 I couldn't get my head around it. 491 00:24:46,312 --> 00:24:47,486 That's all. 492 00:24:50,523 --> 00:24:52,421 We'll make this quick, I promise. 493 00:25:35,810 --> 00:25:38,675 -Tea towels. -Just as Salome danced. 494 00:25:38,709 --> 00:25:40,193 With a map of the Isle of Wight. 495 00:25:40,228 --> 00:25:42,471 How do? I'm Stanley. 496 00:25:43,472 --> 00:25:45,613 Bad knees. I'm getting into character. 497 00:25:45,647 --> 00:25:46,579 Come on. 498 00:25:46,614 --> 00:25:48,650 Has he been a bit tipsy recently? 499 00:25:48,685 --> 00:25:49,686 When? 500 00:25:50,238 --> 00:25:51,688 All the time. 501 00:25:51,722 --> 00:25:54,000 -No, he's fine, Mrs C. -Tuppence. 502 00:25:54,035 --> 00:25:57,141 Tuppence to see the prettiest girls in town. 503 00:26:05,943 --> 00:26:07,704 Welcome to Tassels, 504 00:26:07,738 --> 00:26:11,604 Cambridge's finest erotic establishment. 505 00:26:12,260 --> 00:26:13,606 I take out my wallet. 506 00:26:15,884 --> 00:26:18,680 Madam said to give me the VIP treatment. 507 00:26:19,612 --> 00:26:21,165 Oh, sorry, my line. 508 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,547 Give him the VIP treatment, Stanley. 509 00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:27,137 It just means free drinks. 510 00:26:28,172 --> 00:26:30,485 Raffle ticket, free drinks. 511 00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:33,937 On the house, Your Reverence. 512 00:26:34,696 --> 00:26:36,422 And I went in. 513 00:26:36,456 --> 00:26:39,839 Have a wonderful evening, oh, me knees. 514 00:26:39,874 --> 00:26:40,875 Good Lord. 515 00:26:43,084 --> 00:26:44,706 Kitty was dancing. 516 00:26:46,190 --> 00:26:47,226 Oh, do you want me to? 517 00:26:47,260 --> 00:26:49,608 -[all] No. -Not necessary. 518 00:26:50,885 --> 00:26:52,749 I take my seat, 519 00:26:53,715 --> 00:26:56,062 say hello to Joan. Hello, hello. 520 00:26:56,097 --> 00:26:59,065 Hello, David, looking ever so handsome this evening. 521 00:26:59,100 --> 00:27:00,101 Thank you. 522 00:27:00,998 --> 00:27:03,449 Madam takes her place. 523 00:27:03,483 --> 00:27:05,831 How are you, darlings? 524 00:27:06,486 --> 00:27:08,730 I'm not even going to try. 525 00:27:08,765 --> 00:27:09,766 And then me. 526 00:27:17,843 --> 00:27:19,465 Christ on a bike. 527 00:27:19,499 --> 00:27:22,088 Now, the reason I keep mentioning King Herod 528 00:27:22,123 --> 00:27:24,090 is that when Salome danced for him, 529 00:27:24,125 --> 00:27:28,267 he was enchanted by her so much so that he killed a man. 530 00:27:28,301 --> 00:27:29,958 St John the Baptist? 531 00:27:29,993 --> 00:27:32,409 -Head on a platter. -[Lane] Could be a motive. 532 00:27:32,443 --> 00:27:34,066 I'm sure our killer read the Old Testament 533 00:27:34,100 --> 00:27:36,689 -before he left the house. -[all] New Testament. 534 00:27:39,450 --> 00:27:41,521 Cor, get 'em off. 535 00:27:43,420 --> 00:27:45,042 Leonard told me to leer. 536 00:27:45,077 --> 00:27:46,319 I did tell her to leer. 537 00:27:46,354 --> 00:27:48,011 Where the hell's that Black Maria? 538 00:27:48,045 --> 00:27:49,771 [Alphy] Okay, so Joan's dancing. 539 00:27:49,806 --> 00:27:52,325 Madam's at the table counting the takings. 540 00:27:53,499 --> 00:27:55,984 Stanley, where are you? 541 00:27:56,019 --> 00:27:57,572 Back upstairs at the door. 542 00:27:58,400 --> 00:27:59,781 I was still over here. 543 00:28:01,403 --> 00:28:02,577 And then? 544 00:28:04,890 --> 00:28:06,167 Ooh. 545 00:28:06,201 --> 00:28:09,342 I went, "Madam. Madam." 546 00:28:09,377 --> 00:28:11,862 I went, "The old cow's corked it." 547 00:28:11,897 --> 00:28:12,898 [Joan] And that was that. 548 00:28:14,071 --> 00:28:16,418 -Everyone left. -Everyone left. 549 00:28:16,453 --> 00:28:18,489 After doing our due diligence, of course. 550 00:28:18,524 --> 00:28:20,353 You were first out the door, David. 551 00:28:21,561 --> 00:28:23,978 Joan came back in to get her clothes. 552 00:28:24,012 --> 00:28:25,600 Couldn't leave in just my smalls, could I? 553 00:28:25,634 --> 00:28:28,568 And that was that. We turned up on your doorstep. 554 00:28:28,603 --> 00:28:31,917 -There's a big van outside. -No, that didn't happen. 555 00:28:31,951 --> 00:28:32,849 Not in real life. 556 00:28:32,883 --> 00:28:34,782 I mean, there's a big van outside. 557 00:28:34,816 --> 00:28:37,439 Fun's over, everyone in the van. 558 00:28:37,474 --> 00:28:39,407 [Mrs Chapman] I'll find your coats, ladies. 559 00:28:45,724 --> 00:28:47,760 -Slump forward again. -Me? 560 00:28:47,795 --> 00:28:51,730 Yeah, just sit up and then slump. 561 00:28:57,494 --> 00:28:58,667 Geordie, where was the wound? 562 00:29:02,188 --> 00:29:03,362 There. 563 00:29:05,951 --> 00:29:06,952 Have you got a pen? 564 00:29:08,643 --> 00:29:11,370 It's like playtime with the bloody kids. 565 00:29:12,267 --> 00:29:13,959 You are in a foul mood this evening. 566 00:29:13,993 --> 00:29:14,994 And you're wondering why? 567 00:29:20,310 --> 00:29:21,898 Okay. Sit back. 568 00:29:24,797 --> 00:29:27,248 There were no tears through her clothing. 569 00:29:27,282 --> 00:29:28,456 So she had to have been stabbed? 570 00:29:28,490 --> 00:29:31,631 After she fell forward. 571 00:29:39,018 --> 00:29:41,020 Joan went back to get her clothes, you said. 572 00:29:42,504 --> 00:29:44,713 She was no more than ten seconds. Why? 573 00:30:12,293 --> 00:30:14,709 -Wait here. -[Kitty] Mmm. 574 00:30:19,403 --> 00:30:21,371 They're all in for questioning. 575 00:30:21,405 --> 00:30:23,994 Oh, have a seat here, Stanley. 576 00:30:24,029 --> 00:30:26,376 Take the weight off those poor old knees. 577 00:30:26,410 --> 00:30:27,618 Thank you, David. 578 00:30:29,758 --> 00:30:30,794 Joan, shall we? 579 00:30:32,796 --> 00:30:35,972 -God will forgive you, my dear. -Stuff your forgiveness, David. 580 00:30:36,938 --> 00:30:39,009 Kitty can't stand you, you know that. 581 00:30:39,044 --> 00:30:40,562 Can't stand to even look at you. 582 00:30:56,026 --> 00:30:57,821 -Coat. -Please. 583 00:31:19,118 --> 00:31:20,119 Where'd you get this from? 584 00:31:23,122 --> 00:31:24,503 I won big on the horses. 585 00:31:28,265 --> 00:31:29,542 It's the takings. 586 00:31:30,129 --> 00:31:31,855 Which you stole when? 587 00:31:31,890 --> 00:31:34,064 When I went back to get my clothes. 588 00:31:34,099 --> 00:31:36,929 -After she'd collapsed? -I thought she was dead. 589 00:31:43,487 --> 00:31:46,352 I thought, she can hardly miss the money now. 590 00:31:48,354 --> 00:31:49,735 Can't take it with you, can you? 591 00:31:53,221 --> 00:31:54,878 But she opened her eyes. 592 00:32:04,405 --> 00:32:06,269 So she wasn't dead. 593 00:32:06,303 --> 00:32:08,305 Well, she wasn't, and then she was. 594 00:32:08,340 --> 00:32:09,513 Once you'd got to her. 595 00:32:10,998 --> 00:32:12,344 I understand, Joan. 596 00:32:13,276 --> 00:32:15,381 I understand how these clubs work. 597 00:32:16,486 --> 00:32:19,765 Tricked into it with the promise of fame and fortune. 598 00:32:21,594 --> 00:32:23,355 Got me pegged as a little victim, haven't you? 599 00:32:24,804 --> 00:32:26,461 I knew exactly what I was getting into. 600 00:32:27,048 --> 00:32:28,774 Dancing. 601 00:32:28,808 --> 00:32:31,052 It means to an end for me. Nothing more. 602 00:32:32,260 --> 00:32:33,537 I have a husband. 603 00:32:34,987 --> 00:32:35,954 A little boy. 604 00:32:37,541 --> 00:32:39,233 I work and I go home. 605 00:32:39,267 --> 00:32:40,820 I had no hard feelings against her. 606 00:32:40,855 --> 00:32:43,651 -I just-- -Stabbed her in cold blood. 607 00:32:43,685 --> 00:32:44,686 I panicked. 608 00:32:47,517 --> 00:32:48,967 And I'm sorry for it. 609 00:32:51,141 --> 00:32:52,315 I really am. 610 00:32:56,250 --> 00:32:57,423 Where will you go now? 611 00:32:58,735 --> 00:32:59,978 I'm not so sure. 612 00:33:00,944 --> 00:33:02,497 I'll find a new job. 613 00:33:02,532 --> 00:33:04,292 I got my reading good now, haven't I? 614 00:33:04,327 --> 00:33:06,087 It's exemplary. 615 00:33:06,122 --> 00:33:07,123 You'll be grand. 616 00:33:09,642 --> 00:33:11,403 Do you think Madam's going to hell? 617 00:33:11,437 --> 00:33:12,714 Oh, absolutely. 618 00:33:14,613 --> 00:33:17,478 I don't like to think of her burning for all eternity. 619 00:33:17,512 --> 00:33:22,172 Well, I see hell more as a den of iniquity, 620 00:33:22,207 --> 00:33:24,933 seething with devils and temptresses. 621 00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:27,005 Much like Tassels, then. 622 00:33:28,282 --> 00:33:30,146 Yeah. Now you mention it, yeah. 623 00:33:31,457 --> 00:33:33,114 [Larry] There you are, fellas. 624 00:33:33,149 --> 00:33:36,635 -[Stanley] Oh, you're a diamond. -[Lane] Stanley likes sugar. 625 00:33:36,669 --> 00:33:38,775 -Two sugars. -I don't want to be no bother. 626 00:33:38,809 --> 00:33:40,777 [Lane] It's not a bother at all, is it? 627 00:33:41,433 --> 00:33:42,710 It's what he's here for. 628 00:33:43,814 --> 00:33:44,815 I'll fetch some now. 629 00:33:48,474 --> 00:33:50,994 You'll be absolutely grand, Stanley. 630 00:33:51,443 --> 00:33:52,858 Absolutely grand. 631 00:33:54,791 --> 00:33:57,242 [Larry] Two sugars. I'm not the bloody tea boy. 632 00:33:57,276 --> 00:33:59,313 -You're what? -Oh, nothing. 633 00:33:59,347 --> 00:34:01,004 Postmortem's back on your desk, boss. 634 00:34:01,039 --> 00:34:02,178 Great. 635 00:34:02,212 --> 00:34:04,042 Oh, couldn't get me a cup of tea, could you, Larry? 636 00:34:05,077 --> 00:34:06,044 [telephone ringing] 637 00:34:10,117 --> 00:34:11,221 Geordie Keating. 638 00:34:11,256 --> 00:34:13,085 [woman] I want to report a missing person. 639 00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:16,261 My husband went to work hours ago and didn't come back. 640 00:34:16,295 --> 00:34:18,470 Oh, I'm sorry about that, Cathy. 641 00:34:19,402 --> 00:34:20,989 The kids in bed? 642 00:34:21,024 --> 00:34:22,060 Finally, thank God. 643 00:34:23,406 --> 00:34:26,236 -How's David? -Fine. 644 00:34:26,271 --> 00:34:27,858 I wish you wouldn't be so grumpy with him. 645 00:34:27,893 --> 00:34:29,308 He was only larking about. 646 00:34:29,343 --> 00:34:31,172 I don't like him watching that nonsense. 647 00:34:31,207 --> 00:34:33,761 -You watch it. -It's not the point. 648 00:34:33,795 --> 00:34:36,419 He's a shy little thing, our David. 649 00:34:36,453 --> 00:34:38,455 Barely get a word out of him most days. 650 00:34:38,490 --> 00:34:40,285 It was nice to see him having fun. 651 00:34:40,319 --> 00:34:42,597 We should be encouraging him, Geordie. 652 00:34:44,565 --> 00:34:45,876 You're not listening, are you? 653 00:34:47,430 --> 00:34:52,366 And in three, two, one. 654 00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:53,953 -[both] I've got to go, love. -I'm sorry. 655 00:34:57,336 --> 00:34:59,511 [Alphy] Come on, Leonard. Let's sit you down. 656 00:34:59,545 --> 00:35:00,684 [Leonard] Everything's spinning. 657 00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:03,411 -[laughs] -All that acting takes it 658 00:35:03,446 --> 00:35:04,619 out of you. 659 00:35:04,654 --> 00:35:07,105 You are a wonderful friend, Alphy. 660 00:35:07,139 --> 00:35:08,106 [Alphy] So are you. 661 00:35:09,245 --> 00:35:10,418 [Leonard] Oh. 662 00:35:11,695 --> 00:35:12,662 [exhales] 663 00:35:13,352 --> 00:35:15,458 This man is a wonderful man. 664 00:35:18,875 --> 00:35:19,876 [sighs] 665 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,436 -Just the two of us, then? -Just the two of us. 666 00:35:28,471 --> 00:35:29,851 [telephone ringing] 667 00:35:30,990 --> 00:35:32,302 Good Lord. 668 00:35:32,337 --> 00:35:34,132 I'm not sure even he can help you. 669 00:35:37,756 --> 00:35:39,171 Vicarage. 670 00:35:39,206 --> 00:35:41,380 -[Geordie] Alphy. -What now? 671 00:35:41,415 --> 00:35:43,486 Try and sound a bit more enthusiastic. 672 00:35:44,107 --> 00:35:46,109 Joan stabbed Madam, 673 00:35:47,662 --> 00:35:50,009 but that's not what killed her. 674 00:35:50,044 --> 00:35:53,185 Pathologist says the stab wound was superficial. 675 00:35:53,220 --> 00:35:54,531 So what did kill her? 676 00:35:54,566 --> 00:35:56,982 Why did she slump to the table in the first place? 677 00:35:57,016 --> 00:35:58,604 Exactly. 678 00:35:58,639 --> 00:36:00,330 Going back to the club, you coming? 679 00:36:03,540 --> 00:36:04,541 Go. 680 00:36:05,853 --> 00:36:07,372 -You sure? -I'm sure. 681 00:36:09,236 --> 00:36:10,754 Will you still be here when I get back? 682 00:36:11,617 --> 00:36:12,687 Maybe. 683 00:36:12,722 --> 00:36:14,241 We'll see. 684 00:36:14,275 --> 00:36:17,761 I have it on good authority that you're a wonderful man, so... 685 00:36:20,316 --> 00:36:21,903 No rush. You take your time. 686 00:36:23,042 --> 00:36:24,043 On my way. 687 00:36:27,737 --> 00:36:28,738 [dog whines] 688 00:36:29,704 --> 00:36:30,878 [dog whimpers] 689 00:36:39,369 --> 00:36:40,577 [Geordie] Joan didn't kill her. 690 00:36:40,612 --> 00:36:42,683 And if Joan didn't kill her, it could be anyone. 691 00:36:43,856 --> 00:36:45,893 It could be Sneaky Pete for all we know. 692 00:36:47,412 --> 00:36:50,035 -You're not listening, are you? -No, I'm listening. 693 00:36:50,069 --> 00:36:51,174 You're smitten. 694 00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:54,591 Do you know, I think I might be, but that's not what 695 00:36:54,626 --> 00:36:56,144 -I'm thinking about. -Sure. 696 00:36:56,904 --> 00:36:57,905 What did Larry say? 697 00:36:58,802 --> 00:37:00,942 About the club? There'd been complaints. 698 00:37:01,702 --> 00:37:03,393 [Geordie] Yeah, loud music. 699 00:37:03,428 --> 00:37:05,395 Men passed out in doorways. 700 00:37:05,430 --> 00:37:07,673 Men passed out in doorways. 701 00:37:08,709 --> 00:37:10,124 There was a fella sitting right here. 702 00:37:10,158 --> 00:37:11,332 He was passed out too. 703 00:37:12,368 --> 00:37:13,955 What if that's the key to all of it? 704 00:37:14,646 --> 00:37:15,819 What, the drunk fella? 705 00:37:16,993 --> 00:37:18,477 What if he wasn't just drunk? 706 00:37:20,686 --> 00:37:22,757 What if there's more to this than just booze? 707 00:37:35,253 --> 00:37:36,392 [grunts] 708 00:37:45,573 --> 00:37:46,574 Alphy, 709 00:37:47,748 --> 00:37:50,233 -it's laudanum. -You sure? 710 00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:51,407 Yeah, I'm pretty sure. 711 00:37:52,787 --> 00:37:55,549 Mix it with alcohol, gives off a musky smell. 712 00:38:35,485 --> 00:38:40,387 Someone gave Madam laudanum, enough to kill her. 713 00:38:44,045 --> 00:38:45,564 -Larry. -Boss. 714 00:38:45,599 --> 00:38:47,808 The drunken incompetent cases from the club. 715 00:38:47,842 --> 00:38:48,843 On your desk. 716 00:38:52,951 --> 00:38:54,504 How many were there? 717 00:38:54,539 --> 00:38:57,265 A dozen or so. All passed out. 718 00:38:57,300 --> 00:38:59,060 All woke up missing their valuables. 719 00:39:06,999 --> 00:39:08,276 "I was in the club. 720 00:39:08,311 --> 00:39:11,832 Next thing I remember, I woke up in a doorway without my wallet." 721 00:39:14,110 --> 00:39:16,595 "I was offered VIP treatment. 722 00:39:17,976 --> 00:39:20,047 Free drinks and whatnot." 723 00:39:20,496 --> 00:39:21,600 VIP treatment? 724 00:39:23,084 --> 00:39:26,329 The green raffle tickets, it marks the men out. 725 00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:28,780 Those with a bit of cash on them get green tickets. 726 00:39:29,919 --> 00:39:32,162 Those are the punters who Madam gives the laudanum. 727 00:39:32,197 --> 00:39:35,787 They pass out, she robs them, turns them out on the street. 728 00:39:43,450 --> 00:39:45,866 The Reverend was offered VIP treatment. 729 00:39:47,764 --> 00:39:49,835 So why is he still compos mentis? 730 00:39:54,771 --> 00:39:57,015 Because David was kind to him. 731 00:40:10,028 --> 00:40:10,994 Stan. 732 00:40:14,066 --> 00:40:15,067 Stanley. 733 00:40:16,310 --> 00:40:17,449 Sorry. 734 00:40:18,899 --> 00:40:19,969 Sorry about that. 735 00:40:25,319 --> 00:40:27,770 Madam was meaner than a rattlesnake, Joan said. 736 00:40:30,220 --> 00:40:31,808 She wasn't very kind to you, was she? 737 00:40:37,089 --> 00:40:38,677 The Reverend, on the other hand. 738 00:40:40,161 --> 00:40:42,336 He showed you some kindness. 739 00:40:42,370 --> 00:40:43,613 [Alphy] Helped you with your reading. 740 00:40:44,614 --> 00:40:46,202 I don't know what you're talking about. 741 00:40:46,236 --> 00:40:47,548 Ah, you do, Stanley. 742 00:40:48,860 --> 00:40:52,380 You know David gave you the time of day. 743 00:40:53,761 --> 00:40:55,453 Which is more than most people do. 744 00:40:56,592 --> 00:40:58,110 [Alphy] Was that what pushed you over the edge? 745 00:41:00,458 --> 00:41:04,565 He was kind to you and she wanted you to drug him? 746 00:41:07,016 --> 00:41:08,017 That doesn't seem right. 747 00:41:09,881 --> 00:41:12,400 Rob a man who's only shown us kindness. 748 00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:18,510 VIP treatment for the vicar, Stanley. 749 00:41:18,545 --> 00:41:21,513 -Very kind. Thank you. -[clears throat] 750 00:41:25,068 --> 00:41:26,104 Thank you. 751 00:41:28,278 --> 00:41:29,866 And thank you. 752 00:41:34,284 --> 00:41:36,735 She took advantage of him. 753 00:41:37,184 --> 00:41:39,220 The girls. 754 00:41:39,255 --> 00:41:43,362 I'd just stand and watch while she broke Joan and Kitty down. 755 00:41:45,330 --> 00:41:46,573 Degraded them. 756 00:41:47,470 --> 00:41:48,609 Used them. 757 00:41:50,024 --> 00:41:51,025 She used you too. 758 00:41:54,201 --> 00:41:56,065 She made me feel I was worthless. 759 00:41:59,171 --> 00:42:00,345 Maybe I am. 760 00:42:01,277 --> 00:42:02,450 [Alphy] No. 761 00:42:04,176 --> 00:42:05,419 That's not true, Stanley. 762 00:42:06,178 --> 00:42:07,490 [Stanley] I was tired of it. 763 00:42:08,802 --> 00:42:09,803 Of her. 764 00:42:12,150 --> 00:42:14,048 Of tricking all those poor fellas. 765 00:42:15,602 --> 00:42:16,741 It didn't feel right. 766 00:42:19,502 --> 00:42:20,986 It didn't feel right in here. 767 00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:25,888 [Geordie] So you drugged her. 768 00:42:26,992 --> 00:42:28,822 A dose big enough to kill. 769 00:42:44,458 --> 00:42:45,632 [Stanley] You know the worst of it? 770 00:42:47,565 --> 00:42:49,463 I don't feel an ounce of remorse. 771 00:42:51,638 --> 00:42:53,432 Promise me something, Inspector. 772 00:42:53,467 --> 00:42:54,606 What's that? 773 00:42:56,125 --> 00:42:57,575 Don't bring the girls into this. 774 00:42:59,404 --> 00:43:01,406 They deserve a bit of happiness. 775 00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:07,688 Lord knows they never had it when she were alive. 776 00:43:10,104 --> 00:43:11,105 Stanley. 777 00:43:12,866 --> 00:43:13,867 Shall we? 778 00:43:18,492 --> 00:43:20,149 Steady as she goes. 779 00:43:23,324 --> 00:43:25,119 Thank you for your hospitality, Vicar. 780 00:43:26,638 --> 00:43:28,019 It was a pleasure, Stanley. 781 00:43:30,090 --> 00:43:31,332 God bless you. 782 00:44:00,534 --> 00:44:03,433 You must think me a terrible buffoon. 783 00:44:10,751 --> 00:44:12,857 I think you're as flawed and complicated 784 00:44:12,891 --> 00:44:13,927 as the rest of us. 785 00:44:16,446 --> 00:44:19,795 I knew Kitty could never fall for a man like me, 786 00:44:19,829 --> 00:44:23,315 but I just... allowed myself to indulge 787 00:44:23,350 --> 00:44:24,765 in the fantasy for a while. 788 00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:26,422 I don't know why. 789 00:44:28,251 --> 00:44:30,771 -Perhaps you're lonely? -No. 790 00:44:30,806 --> 00:44:35,949 No, I have a very full life with the church and... 791 00:44:37,191 --> 00:44:40,091 And I never stop. 792 00:44:43,853 --> 00:44:45,717 It's the life we chose, I suppose. 793 00:44:48,789 --> 00:44:50,066 Or that chose us. 794 00:44:52,690 --> 00:44:53,691 Yeah. 795 00:44:54,899 --> 00:44:56,107 It chose us, didn't it? 796 00:44:57,349 --> 00:44:58,868 [chuckles] 797 00:44:58,903 --> 00:45:00,836 Rather lovely when you think about it like that. 798 00:45:02,285 --> 00:45:03,493 [Alphy] Hmm. 799 00:45:19,164 --> 00:45:21,580 -Last one standing? -Not quite. 800 00:45:33,247 --> 00:45:34,559 You didn't need to clean up. 801 00:45:35,871 --> 00:45:38,528 Well, it was a pleasant distraction after the... 802 00:45:38,563 --> 00:45:40,116 Lunacy of the evening? 803 00:45:41,221 --> 00:45:42,670 It was quite mad, wasn't it? 804 00:45:42,705 --> 00:45:45,294 I think that might be understating it. 805 00:45:45,328 --> 00:45:46,882 Learnt a few things, though. 806 00:45:46,916 --> 00:45:49,919 Got some new dance moves under my belt. 807 00:45:49,954 --> 00:45:51,714 So educational, if nothing else. 808 00:45:57,340 --> 00:45:58,514 Just the two of us, then? 809 00:46:01,137 --> 00:46:02,449 Just the two of us. 810 00:46:02,483 --> 00:46:04,762 [car approaching, honks] 811 00:46:05,832 --> 00:46:06,867 That's my taxi. 812 00:46:07,765 --> 00:46:08,766 Of course it is. 813 00:46:10,698 --> 00:46:12,528 My mother always told me it's polite to leave 814 00:46:12,562 --> 00:46:13,840 after the arrests. 815 00:46:15,358 --> 00:46:16,532 Quite right. 816 00:46:36,759 --> 00:46:37,760 So? 817 00:46:39,624 --> 00:46:40,625 So... 818 00:46:45,319 --> 00:46:47,114 Well, we said we'd shake hands. 819 00:46:48,012 --> 00:46:50,566 So there isn't going to be a next time? 820 00:46:51,394 --> 00:46:52,810 I'd like there to be a next time. 821 00:46:53,603 --> 00:46:55,122 I'd like there to be a next time. 822 00:46:57,573 --> 00:47:00,403 Just not sure how I'm going to top tonight. 823 00:47:00,438 --> 00:47:02,578 -Mmm, it's tricky. -Mmm. 824 00:47:03,786 --> 00:47:04,787 Cinema? 825 00:47:06,168 --> 00:47:07,341 Perfect. 826 00:47:08,929 --> 00:47:12,553 Oh, you might want to check on Leonard. 827 00:47:12,588 --> 00:47:14,417 He regaled me with a poem about cheese 828 00:47:14,452 --> 00:47:17,006 and then he was a little bit sick. 829 00:47:17,041 --> 00:47:18,042 Oh, dear. 830 00:47:19,008 --> 00:47:20,009 [car honks] 831 00:47:23,392 --> 00:47:24,565 Night, then. 832 00:47:26,774 --> 00:47:27,775 Night. 833 00:47:31,124 --> 00:47:32,125 Meg. 834 00:47:47,071 --> 00:47:49,590 A poem about cheese. 835 00:47:51,627 --> 00:47:53,698 It was actually very poignant. 836 00:48:00,567 --> 00:48:03,915 [door opens, closes] 837 00:48:25,178 --> 00:48:27,766 [exhales] 838 00:48:27,801 --> 00:48:30,045 I didn't make a fool of myself, did I? 839 00:48:34,808 --> 00:48:35,878 Not at all. 840 00:48:37,397 --> 00:48:39,399 I think I made up a poem for Meg. 841 00:48:40,365 --> 00:48:41,539 About cheese. 842 00:48:42,781 --> 00:48:43,782 Really? 843 00:48:44,473 --> 00:48:46,613 She didn't mention anything. 844 00:48:46,647 --> 00:48:48,442 And I was rude to Daniel. 845 00:48:51,135 --> 00:48:53,033 Do you think he'll ever forgive me? 846 00:48:53,068 --> 00:48:54,414 Of course he will. 847 00:48:55,898 --> 00:48:58,452 You really are a wonderful friend, Alphy. 848 00:48:59,350 --> 00:49:00,523 I'm sorry. 849 00:49:02,146 --> 00:49:04,493 I'm a terrible liability, aren't I? 850 00:49:04,527 --> 00:49:05,804 Get some sleep, Leonard. 851 00:49:06,805 --> 00:49:08,462 It'll all feel better in the morning. 852 00:49:13,433 --> 00:49:14,710 [object clatters] 853 00:49:42,255 --> 00:49:44,429 [theme music playing] 853 00:49:45,305 --> 00:50:45,212 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm