"The PJs" Robbin' HUD

1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 The Pjs - Robbin' Hud IMDB ID#0182621 DDDBBB, v1.0, 08/04/25 23.976 FPS 2 00:00:00,560 --> 00:00:03,820 <i>♪ Once upon a time in the projects ♪</i> 3 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:06,420 <i>♪ PJ's! ♪</i> 4 00:00:06,721 --> 00:00:07,520 <i>♪ Projects! ♪</i> 5 00:00:07,540 --> 00:00:08,840 <i>♪ Low rent high rise, y'all! ♪</i> 6 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:10,280 <i>♪ PJ's! ♪</i> 7 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:12,400 <i>♪ Projects! ♪</i> 8 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:13,740 <i>♪ Living in the PJ's! ♪</i> 9 00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:18,561 <i>♪ Holding down the cardboard condo Homeboy and a homemade bungalow ♪</i> 10 00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:22,940 <i>♪ In the middle of the end of a dead-end one way street. ♪</i> 11 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:29,100 <i>♪ Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya Living in the PJ's! ♪</i> 12 00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:31,740 <i>♪ PJ's! ♪</i> 13 00:00:39,901 --> 00:00:43,901 Augh! 14 00:00:44,190 --> 00:00:47,570 <i>Yep, that's me, Thurgood Stubbs, fallin' to my death.</i> 15 00:00:47,810 --> 00:00:50,090 <i>You're probably wonderin' how I ended up like this.</i> 16 00:00:50,390 --> 00:00:53,270 <i>Well, maybe the best place to start is the beginning.</i> 17 00:00:58,590 --> 00:01:01,230 You sure it won't be too much trouble for you to do the dishes? 18 00:01:01,710 --> 00:01:02,710 Don't be ridiculous. 19 00:01:02,750 --> 00:01:04,786 Muriel, I always love to help you out around the house. 20 00:01:04,810 --> 00:01:05,890 A week before my birthday. 21 00:01:09,130 --> 00:01:10,250 Wash, wash, wash. 22 00:01:10,650 --> 00:01:11,650 Rinse, rinse, rinse. 23 00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:13,250 Hello, handsome! 24 00:01:17,730 --> 00:01:19,430 Hello, Swamp Thing! 25 00:01:19,550 --> 00:01:20,350 Swamp Thing! 26 00:01:20,374 --> 00:01:21,374 Augh! 27 00:01:23,090 --> 00:01:25,010 Uh, uh, hey, Muriel! 28 00:01:25,170 --> 00:01:27,170 You know, you might wanna wait a minute or two before you... 29 00:01:27,190 --> 00:01:29,010 Oh! Oh, my God! 30 00:01:29,410 --> 00:01:29,970 ...take a shower. 31 00:01:30,130 --> 00:01:31,130 Get it off me! 32 00:01:31,290 --> 00:01:33,230 Oh, get it off! Ahh! 33 00:01:33,110 --> 00:01:35,470 Okay, okay, look, try to stay calm, honey, stay calm. 34 00:01:35,570 --> 00:01:38,570 I gotta go outside and see if it's just our apartment or the whole building. 35 00:01:39,150 --> 00:01:39,690 Super! 36 00:01:40,050 --> 00:01:41,570 Yep, it's the whole building. 37 00:01:44,050 --> 00:01:44,650 <i>Next!</i> 38 00:01:46,090 --> 00:01:48,835 Uh, yeah, look, I'm Thurgood Stubbs of the Hilton Jacobs Projects, 39 00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:52,070 and I'm here to pick up a new master filter for our main water intake pipe. 40 00:01:52,350 --> 00:01:54,770 Oh, honey, y'all ain't got no clean water. 41 00:01:54,930 --> 00:01:57,050 Is that why you showered in malt liquor? 42 00:01:57,530 --> 00:01:57,890 Next! 43 00:01:57,930 --> 00:01:59,866 Hey, wait a minute, lady, we talkin' about water here. 44 00:01:59,890 --> 00:02:01,428 That's a basic human right, just like... 45 00:02:01,452 --> 00:02:05,952 HUD allocates each project one master water filter a year. 46 00:02:05,970 --> 00:02:10,216 And since you received yours only 9 months ago, 47 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:15,050 it is the position of the government that it is still working perfectly. 48 00:02:15,130 --> 00:02:15,530 What? 49 00:02:15,610 --> 00:02:16,270 This is outrageous. 50 00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:18,026 I'm gonna go directly over your head. 51 00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:19,730 I demand an audience with the king. 52 00:02:20,030 --> 00:02:24,890 Mr. Stubbs, the HUD Board of Review is booked solid for the next eight weeks. 53 00:02:25,250 --> 00:02:25,950 Eight weeks? 54 00:02:26,050 --> 00:02:26,590 Oh, really? 55 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:29,690 Well, tell you what, I'm gonna just leave this here until then. 56 00:02:29,730 --> 00:02:30,190 How about that? 57 00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:32,270 Okay, okay. You win! 58 00:02:32,810 --> 00:02:34,050 I'll buzz you right in. 59 00:02:34,430 --> 00:02:35,470 Yeah, I thought so. 60 00:02:35,650 --> 00:02:37,550 Thank you very much, and have a nice day. 61 00:02:39,690 --> 00:02:44,010 Members of the review board, all I ask for today is a water filter for our projects. 62 00:02:44,170 --> 00:02:45,546 And what does this little part cost? 63 00:02:45,570 --> 00:02:46,590 Thirty-nine cents. 64 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,190 That's right, just two bits. 65 00:02:48,330 --> 00:02:49,370 One tenth of a dollar. 66 00:02:49,530 --> 00:02:54,570 Now, thirty-nine cents may not buy much in your highfalutin world of $20 words and $10 suits. 67 00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:56,330 But for my people, it buys hope. 68 00:02:56,450 --> 00:02:59,710 Hope that our government respects us enough to treat us like human beings. 69 00:02:59,950 --> 00:03:01,450 That's not too much to ask for. Is it? 70 00:03:01,470 --> 00:03:04,930 Because if it is too much to ask for, we'll just settle for some more cheese. 71 00:03:05,130 --> 00:03:05,890 I thank you. 72 00:03:06,090 --> 00:03:07,830 Thank you, Mr. Stubbs. 73 00:03:07,990 --> 00:03:09,770 The thanks are all yours, your grace. 74 00:03:10,050 --> 00:03:11,130 Well said, sir. 75 00:03:11,410 --> 00:03:13,730 I don't think any further deliberation is necessary. 76 00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:17,670 Gentlemen, next, next, next, next. 77 00:03:17,930 --> 00:03:18,930 Very good. 78 00:03:19,330 --> 00:03:19,830 Next! 79 00:03:20,654 --> 00:03:21,154 Ut. 80 00:03:21,270 --> 00:03:22,950 Can you believe that? 81 00:03:23,150 --> 00:03:26,010 What kind of verdict did you expect from an all-white jury? 82 00:03:26,310 --> 00:03:31,591 See, the man wants us to use his dirty water because he knows the clean brother gets the job. 83 00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:34,630 You really got one tune you play, don't you, Jimmy? 84 00:03:34,930 --> 00:03:37,310 Well, I'm not bathing in that junk. 85 00:03:37,670 --> 00:03:38,150 Hmph. 86 00:03:38,390 --> 00:03:42,110 That'll be the first time the water was filthy before you got in, huh, Sanchez? 87 00:03:42,450 --> 00:03:44,690 Kiss my ass, Mrs. Avery. 88 00:03:44,970 --> 00:03:47,230 Oh, big man. 89 00:03:47,510 --> 00:03:49,106 Hey, now, please, let's not attack each other. 90 00:03:49,130 --> 00:03:50,530 Remember who the common enemy is. 91 00:03:50,770 --> 00:03:51,090 HUD! 92 00:03:51,310 --> 00:03:56,030 We have got to figure out a way to have our voices heard and to get some clean water. 93 00:03:56,210 --> 00:03:56,430 Yeah! 94 00:03:57,090 --> 00:03:57,910 Come on! 95 00:03:57,911 --> 00:04:02,411 Let's teach them, HUD suckers to fool around with the Hilton Jacobs! 96 00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:05,535 Calm down. Now everyone 97 00:04:05,538 --> 00:04:10,538 I know we have a legitimate grievance, but let's maintain our composure. 98 00:04:10,604 --> 00:04:13,504 and dignity before we get all fired up and... 99 00:04:13,580 --> 00:04:14,200 Muriel's right. 100 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:15,480 Let's burn HUD down. 101 00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:17,120 Yeah, let's burn it down. 102 00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:20,900 Burn HUD down! Burn HUD down! 103 00:04:20,924 --> 00:04:22,424 Stop! That's not what I meant. 104 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:23,480 LISTEN TO ME! 105 00:04:23,420 --> 00:04:24,200 Muriel, you stay home. 106 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:26,156 A hothead like you is only going to get us in trouble. 107 00:04:26,180 --> 00:04:26,920 That's what I'm saying. 108 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:27,920 I'm strapped. I'm packing. 109 00:04:27,980 --> 00:04:29,440 and I'm strapped. and I'm ready. 110 00:04:30,380 --> 00:04:32,640 Okay, now, everybody got some bricks? 111 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:33,940 Yeah! 112 00:04:33,980 --> 00:04:35,580 All right, now, everybody got a buddy? 113 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:36,160 Yeah! 114 00:04:36,740 --> 00:04:38,660 You can count on me and Mrs. Jones. 115 00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:43,220 Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. 116 00:04:43,340 --> 00:04:47,060 Okay, then, let's go and have us a riot that we can be proud of! 117 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:48,080 Yeah! 118 00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:49,300 Yeah! 119 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:57,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 120 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:11,520 <i>96?</i> 121 00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:14,380 <i>97?</i> 122 00:05:15,820 --> 00:05:16,820 <i>98?</i> 123 00:05:17,540 --> 00:05:18,540 Augh! I'm ready to die! 124 00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:19,800 Give us our clean water! 125 00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,700 I'm as stank as hell! 126 00:05:21,701 --> 00:05:23,400 ...and I'm not gonna take it anymore! 127 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,940 Stank as hell! Stank as hell! 128 00:05:25,980 --> 00:05:28,780 Look! Even if we wanted to help you. 129 00:05:28,820 --> 00:05:31,940 We simply don't have any water filters in stock. 130 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,500 Now cease this riot and disperse! 131 00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:37,020 Yeah, but we're not leaving this spot until you find one. 132 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:44,220 Alright alright! I'm making arrangements to handle the situation right now. 133 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,900 Ha ha! She's shaking in her booth! 134 00:05:47,020 --> 00:05:51,700 Well, I guess the doctor's office ain't the only place where Thurgood Stubbs gets positive results. 135 00:05:51,940 --> 00:05:54,940 She gonna give us that filter just as soon as she put on her gas mask. 136 00:05:55,941 --> 00:05:56,941 Gas mask? 137 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:58,400 What the...? 138 00:05:58,424 --> 00:05:58,924 <i>Bye.</i> 139 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:01,720 Uh-oh. 140 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:02,800 She got gas, everybody! 141 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:03,400 She got gas! 142 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:04,920 Everybody hold your breath, it's gas! 143 00:06:05,860 --> 00:06:06,860 Gas! 144 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,040 Must hold breath! 145 00:06:09,220 --> 00:06:10,680 Maybe I shouldn't talk. 146 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,260 Get them out of here. 147 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,660 The choking gas was everywhere, filling my lungs. 148 00:06:18,860 --> 00:06:21,028 It looked like your humble narrator was about to 149 00:06:21,052 --> 00:06:23,220 meet his pitiful end, when suddenly I saw them. 150 00:06:26,540 --> 00:06:29,340 ...the filters. They'd lied to us. 151 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:30,220 And why? 152 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:33,880 Because a 39-cent pot was worth much more to them than human lives. 153 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,680 It was then that I realized that violence was not the answer. 154 00:06:37,260 --> 00:06:38,260 Robbery was. 155 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:41,600 And then, like a public school, everything went black. 156 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:48,120 I don't know, fellas. 157 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,500 You're talking about breaking into a federal building. 158 00:06:51,780 --> 00:06:52,916 Walter, you don't understand. 159 00:06:52,940 --> 00:06:55,880 We'd be robbing HUD, stealing from the bitch to give to the poor. 160 00:06:55,881 --> 00:06:57,340 I don't know. 161 00:06:57,640 --> 00:06:59,560 Come on, Walter, we need that water. 162 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,400 Bebe and I haven't had a bath in three days. 163 00:07:02,820 --> 00:07:04,900 And if this goes on much longer, I'll miss mine, too. 164 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:06,100 You gotta help us, Walter. 165 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,880 Hm... hm. Okay, I'll do it. 166 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,420 Guess it's time to call in the A-Team. 167 00:07:19,380 --> 00:07:20,400 This is the A-Team? 168 00:07:20,620 --> 00:07:22,660 Uh, the A-Team had a previous engagement. 169 00:07:23,020 --> 00:07:23,560 The B-Team? 170 00:07:23,740 --> 00:07:25,840 Let's just say they're in the first half of the alphabet 171 00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:26,912 and leave it at that. 172 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,980 Gentlemen, say hello to Mrs. Avery. 173 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:35,080 A second story man blessed with the agility of a spider. 174 00:07:35,340 --> 00:07:37,340 I'm double jointed. 175 00:07:37,364 --> 00:07:39,276 Uh, ow, oh, oh... 176 00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:42,220 But I got arthritis in both. 177 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,560 Sanchez, a.k.a. 178 00:07:44,561 --> 00:07:46,240 the Gadget Man. 179 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,720 Why, what does that thing do? 180 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:53,620 It takes the place of my vocal cords and it makes it possible for me to speak. 181 00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:56,060 Hmmm, very good. 182 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:57,800 You all know Buster. 183 00:07:58,020 --> 00:07:59,520 Hey, Buster. What's up, Buster? 184 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,820 Yeah, we're all glad to have Buster along. 185 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,300 But, uh, what the hell is he doing here? 186 00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:07,600 I'm the expert cracksman. 187 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:09,020 You're a safe cracker? 188 00:08:09,380 --> 00:08:11,980 I wouldn't call it safe. 189 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:17,280 Okay, now before we go any further, let's review our code names. 190 00:08:17,780 --> 00:08:19,320 Buster, you be Mr. White. 191 00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:20,540 Mr. Brown. 192 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:22,160 Mr. Brown. 193 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:23,480 Mr. Brown. 194 00:08:23,580 --> 00:08:24,340 Mr. Brown. 195 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:25,260 Mr. Brown. 196 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:25,600 Mr. Brown. 197 00:08:25,601 --> 00:08:26,601 Mr. High Yellow. 198 00:08:27,380 --> 00:08:28,740 Very good. 199 00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:29,920 Thurgood. 200 00:08:33,110 --> 00:08:35,510 Gentlemen, this is our objective. 201 00:08:35,850 --> 00:08:36,350 HUD. 202 00:08:36,630 --> 00:08:38,010 It's not going to be easy. 203 00:08:38,130 --> 00:08:40,330 But if you do what I say, we can all come back alive. 204 00:08:44,460 --> 00:08:48,420 <i>[ Walter explaining... ] At precisely 9 P.M., HUD closes for the evening.</i> 205 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:53,620 <i>At precisely 9.04, the last employee takes a fax machine and leaves.</i> 206 00:08:54,620 --> 00:08:56,100 <i>That's when we make our move.</i> 207 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:01,520 <i>Uniformity is the key.</i> 208 00:09:01,940 --> 00:09:07,320 <i>So it's essential that you all dress alike so no one can be identified.</i> 209 00:09:08,060 --> 00:09:09,760 Okay, let's move out. 210 00:09:11,780 --> 00:09:16,200 <i>At 9.06, we reach the electrified fence surrounding HUD.</i> 211 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,100 Okay, Smokey, you're up. 212 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,160 Show them why they call you <i>the Electrical Wiz</i>. 213 00:09:22,384 --> 00:09:22,884 <i>[ zip ]</i> 214 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,120 Yeah! Yeah! 215 00:09:26,444 --> 00:09:28,444 Yeah! Yeah! 216 00:09:28,540 --> 00:09:29,820 Oh, yeah. 217 00:09:29,940 --> 00:09:31,100 Good job, Smokey. 218 00:09:31,101 --> 00:09:34,140 The pleasure was all mine. 219 00:09:38,860 --> 00:09:43,400 <i>At exactly 9.09, you will arrive at the back entrance to HUD.</i> 220 00:09:43,660 --> 00:09:47,260 <i>At 9.09 and 10 seconds, the guard makes his rounds.</i> 221 00:09:47,660 --> 00:09:50,189 <i>Check your watches then, because we'll only have</i> 222 00:09:50,213 --> 00:09:53,120 <i>eight hours until he awakens from his drunken stupor.</i> 223 00:10:14,270 --> 00:10:15,630 <i>[ Super ] Then we're home free, right?</i> 224 00:10:15,631 --> 00:10:17,470 <i>[ Walter ] I'm afraid not.</i> 225 00:10:18,070 --> 00:10:22,558 <i>If any of these laser beams are tripped, a diabolical series of</i> 226 00:10:22,582 --> 00:10:27,070 <i>excruciating and highly improbable booby traps will be triggered.</i> 227 00:10:27,330 --> 00:10:28,590 Just leave it to me. 228 00:10:28,710 --> 00:10:33,310 I didn't escape the Cook County woman's work farm six times for nothing. 229 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:55,560 But whatever you do, don't step on the black tiles. 230 00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:57,360 They're booby-trapped. 231 00:10:57,361 --> 00:10:58,960 You go, black tiles. 232 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:05,120 Sanchez. 233 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:15,960 Bingo! 234 00:11:16,380 --> 00:11:19,040 Easy as giving a ride to a runaway. 235 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:23,980 Here's our water filter. 236 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:25,120 Let's get out of here. 237 00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:28,340 Let's snatch two. Really stick it to 'em, right, Super? 238 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:30,320 Super? 239 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,780 Is that what I think it is? 240 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:35,900 You better believe it. 241 00:11:35,901 --> 00:11:39,320 100% pure grade-A white. 242 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:41,720 Toilet paper. 243 00:11:42,180 --> 00:11:43,900 Holy sheets. 244 00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:47,640 It's primo stuff, all right. 245 00:11:47,780 --> 00:11:50,380 A street value of $1.89 easy. 246 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:51,780 It's beautiful. 247 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:56,280 Say, what is this stuff anyway? 248 00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:58,300 It's ours. 249 00:11:58,620 --> 00:12:00,840 The line forms here. 250 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:03,280 Wait. 251 00:12:03,281 --> 00:12:06,940 Shouldn't we stop and think about this before we do something rash? 252 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,520 It's the rash what's making me take it. 253 00:12:09,780 --> 00:12:12,180 Hey, we got every right to steal this. 254 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:14,980 Taking the water filter was one thing. 255 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,000 But this is just pure greed. 256 00:12:17,340 --> 00:12:18,620 We don't need this stuff. 257 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:22,240 We're doing just fine with our phone books and Pizza Hut flyers. 258 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,320 Do we really want to sink this low? 259 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:26,040 I do. 260 00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:26,760 I do. 261 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:28,840 I do it all the time. He he he he he. 262 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:31,620 Oh, what the hell? 263 00:12:31,621 --> 00:12:34,180 You only suffer through life once. 264 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,280 Oh, give me some of 265 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,000 this toilet paper. 266 00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:37,200 Can I own it? 267 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:37,620 Give me some of that. 268 00:12:37,780 --> 00:12:38,780 Give me one more, man. 269 00:12:39,620 --> 00:12:41,520 I can't wait to use mine. 270 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,340 I'm going to run right home and cut myself shaving. 271 00:12:44,580 --> 00:12:45,320 Not me. 272 00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:48,740 I'm going to bury it in a hole so nobody can steal it. 273 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:51,720 This is one sweet job to retire on. 274 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:53,860 I'm sure going to miss working with you guys. 275 00:12:54,260 --> 00:12:55,376 You don't be a stranger, Buster. 276 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,240 We want to watch that new son of yours grow up. 277 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:00,440 When we get home, we're going to have one hell of a celebration. 278 00:13:00,441 --> 00:13:02,520 Well, why should we wait until we get home? 279 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:02,920 Heh. 280 00:13:03,180 --> 00:13:03,800 Thurgood! 281 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:04,920 Don't pick that up. 282 00:13:05,020 --> 00:13:06,340 Why? What? 283 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:08,160 Ut! 284 00:13:13,340 --> 00:13:16,820 BUSTER! NO! 285 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:19,720 We got to get out of here. 286 00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:22,700 Run! 287 00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:34,370 Okay, that was a close one. 288 00:13:34,570 --> 00:13:35,970 But we're not out of the woods yet. 289 00:13:36,110 --> 00:13:37,550 I'm going back for Buster. 290 00:13:39,790 --> 00:13:40,810 He's dead, Jim. 291 00:13:40,830 --> 00:13:41,830 Let it go. 292 00:13:42,550 --> 00:13:43,290 Listen to me. 293 00:13:43,370 --> 00:13:44,230 We'll be home free. 294 00:13:44,310 --> 00:13:44,610 Listen. 295 00:13:44,750 --> 00:13:45,750 If we keep our heads. 296 00:13:45,970 --> 00:13:46,890 We're going to split up. 297 00:13:46,970 --> 00:13:48,126 We're going to go our separate ways. 298 00:13:48,150 --> 00:13:48,790 We're going to act natural. 299 00:13:48,990 --> 00:13:50,910 Nobody do anything to call attention to yourself. 300 00:13:51,550 --> 00:13:52,990 We'll all meet back at the projects. 301 00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:10,361 <i>By the next morning, I had the new water filter installed and could go back to business as usual.</i> 302 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:11,480 Think fast, Juicy! 303 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:12,760 Oww! 304 00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:14,720 Ha ha ha ha ha ha! 305 00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:16,580 <i>Yep.</i> 306 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:17,800 <i>Life was looking up.</i> 307 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:18,780 <i>Or was it?</i> 308 00:14:18,781 --> 00:14:21,868 <i>[ TV announcer ] In response to last night's daring raid on HUD,</i> 309 00:14:21,892 --> 00:14:24,180 <i>[ TV announcer ] police are harassing black men all over the city.</i> 310 00:14:24,420 --> 00:14:27,200 <i>Authorities are confident they will soon arrest the perpetrators.</i> 311 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:29,900 <i>Or at least somebody who's not where they're supposed to be.</i> 312 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,181 Oh, Goody! This is horrible! 313 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:36,180 Did you see any suspicious people when you picked up the water filter last night? 314 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:37,980 Uh... just Buster. 315 00:14:38,060 --> 00:14:40,456 <i>[ TV announcer ] Citizens are asked to call the police if they see</i> 316 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,760 <i>anyone resembling these composite sketches of the gang.</i> 317 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,240 Uh, Muriel, you look lovely today! 318 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:45,680 Oh! 319 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:46,880 Oh! 320 00:14:48,780 --> 00:14:50,160 <i>...and the gang's leader.</i> 321 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:51,720 Ut... 322 00:14:54,515 --> 00:14:55,215 <i>[ gun shot ]</i> 323 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:56,240 What was that? 324 00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:57,700 Just a gunshot. 325 00:14:58,040 --> 00:14:59,280 Now, relax, Thurgood. 326 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:00,580 My crew is professional. 327 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:02,060 They're not gonna talk. 328 00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:04,520 Hell, most of them can barely write. 329 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,080 But my picture was on TV, Walter. 330 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,096 What if they got something else on me, like my DNA? 331 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:10,980 Then we hire Mr. Johnny and book a room for the victory party. 332 00:15:11,260 --> 00:15:12,260 I'm scared, Walter. 333 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:13,480 I am too pretty for jail. 334 00:15:13,700 --> 00:15:14,700 Thurgood, calm down. 335 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:18,340 There's not a single shred of evidence connecting you to this crime. 336 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,300 Sanchez, what the hell you doin'? 337 00:15:22,301 --> 00:15:25,220 Finally, I have something Castro doesn't have! 338 00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:27,160 Viva la liberación! 339 00:15:27,740 --> 00:15:29,736 Sanchez, put that away before you get us all arrested! 340 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:30,060 Yeah! 341 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:33,320 Ain't you got no sense, Ricky Retardo? 342 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:39,120 That's right. 343 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,340 It's a toilet paper doggy sweater. 344 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:42,840 I'm old. 345 00:15:43,020 --> 00:15:44,400 I don't have to explain myself. 346 00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:45,860 Give me that! 347 00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:49,100 Look, I don't know about the rest of y'all, 348 00:15:49,424 --> 00:15:51,144 but I do not intend to spend 349 00:15:51,144 --> 00:15:52,836 my golden year rotting in a prison. 350 00:15:52,860 --> 00:15:55,480 From now on, this TP has got to be on the DL. 351 00:15:55,780 --> 00:15:58,540 You use it strictly on a need-to-wipe basis. 352 00:15:58,760 --> 00:15:59,760 You understand me? 353 00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:05,200 Hey, lookin' good, Superfly! 354 00:16:22,140 --> 00:16:23,656 Keep it together, keep it together, keep it together. 355 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:24,240 They got nothin' on you. 356 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:24,700 You innocent. 357 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:25,320 You innocent. 358 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:26,680 Well, you appear to be innocent. 359 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,060 What the... UT! 360 00:16:30,084 --> 00:16:32,084 Augh! 361 00:16:36,670 --> 00:16:38,230 Muriel, I got a confession to make. 362 00:16:39,210 --> 00:16:40,290 <i>So I told her everything.</i> 363 00:16:40,690 --> 00:16:43,067 <i>How a simple plan to get a water filter turned into a</i> 364 00:16:43,091 --> 00:16:45,330 <i>cesspool of madness that was clogged with greed.</i> 365 00:16:45,710 --> 00:16:47,970 <i>I needed a plunger big enough to set things right.</i> 366 00:16:48,210 --> 00:16:49,770 <i>That plunger was Muriel.</i> 367 00:16:51,850 --> 00:16:54,530 Muriel, you're the only sane one left and I need your help. 368 00:16:54,710 --> 00:16:56,770 What could possibly make you do such a thing? 369 00:16:57,010 --> 00:16:58,290 I don't know, Muriel. 370 00:16:58,690 --> 00:17:00,690 I was just mad at them for not giving us anything. 371 00:17:01,710 --> 00:17:02,710 I couldn't resist. 372 00:17:03,210 --> 00:17:04,210 I was weak. 373 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:06,191 Don't look at me! 374 00:17:08,710 --> 00:17:10,890 Is that the stolen paper? 375 00:17:12,250 --> 00:17:14,130 Oh, oh.. Oh my... 376 00:17:14,750 --> 00:17:18,230 It's so smooth and cottony soft. 377 00:17:18,610 --> 00:17:22,370 Oh, oh, oh It's like a pillow from heaven. 378 00:17:22,790 --> 00:17:26,250 I would definitely choose that over the leading brand. 379 00:17:27,170 --> 00:17:28,330 Muriel, what are you saying? 380 00:17:28,430 --> 00:17:29,150 We can't keep this. 381 00:17:29,430 --> 00:17:31,370 Don't you want me to have nice things? 382 00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:32,850 Woman, get a hold of yourself. 383 00:17:33,610 --> 00:17:34,610 <i>That did it.</i> 384 00:17:34,670 --> 00:17:37,698 <i>If Muriel could be seduced by the soft side, I knew it wouldn't</i> 385 00:17:37,722 --> 00:17:40,350 <i>be long before our secret was out and I'd be doing hard time.</i> 386 00:17:40,470 --> 00:17:41,470 <i>I had two options.</i> 387 00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:44,130 <i>One, turn myself in and face the consequences.</i> 388 00:17:44,450 --> 00:17:46,130 <i>Or two, destroy all the evidence.</i> 389 00:17:46,790 --> 00:17:48,891 <i>It would be painful and I knew it might take all day</i> 390 00:17:48,915 --> 00:17:51,311 <i>but I knew that I had to do... number two.</i> 391 00:17:57,490 --> 00:17:58,490 <i>What a relief.</i> 392 00:17:58,590 --> 00:18:00,597 <i>I felt ten pounds lighter, but covering up</i> 393 00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:03,071 <i>the rest of this paper trail wouldn't be so easy.</i> 394 00:18:19,250 --> 00:18:19,750 [ gun cocking ] 395 00:18:20,174 --> 00:18:20,674 [ bang ] 396 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,120 <i>I got it all, but now I had to get rid of it.</i> 397 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,952 <i>I realized that burning that toilet paper</i> 398 00:18:42,976 --> 00:18:45,080 <i>from hell would be my fastest way to salvation.</i> 399 00:18:45,340 --> 00:18:46,700 Doing something, Super? 400 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,120 I'll tell you what I'm not going to do. 401 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:50,920 I'm not going to county jail, that's what. 402 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,060 Then I guess you'll be going to county hospital. 403 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:54,440 Kill him! 404 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:55,740 How can you do this? 405 00:18:55,780 --> 00:18:56,360 I'm your friend. 406 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:57,640 Leave him alone! 407 00:18:58,080 --> 00:18:59,360 Muriel, thank God you're here. 408 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:01,500 Please, don't hurt Goody. 409 00:19:02,140 --> 00:19:04,980 He can be persuaded in other ways. 410 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:06,600 Not you, too. 411 00:19:06,860 --> 00:19:08,140 Don't fight it, Thurgood. 412 00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:11,960 It'll be much easier if you just join us. 413 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:13,360 The lady's smart, Thurgood. 414 00:19:13,460 --> 00:19:14,680 Now you be smart, too. 415 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:17,880 Just give us the white cloud and nobody gets hurt but you. 416 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,080 Just look at you. 417 00:19:19,180 --> 00:19:20,220 Look at all of you. 418 00:19:20,221 --> 00:19:21,221 You're pathetic. 419 00:19:22,020 --> 00:19:23,868 You should be ashamed because you was this 420 00:19:23,892 --> 00:19:25,740 close to taking the life of a fellow man. 421 00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:27,680 Not for honor and not for freedom. 422 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:28,720 Not even for sneakers. 423 00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:31,840 You was going to commit murder for this. 424 00:19:33,220 --> 00:19:34,680 He's got our toilet paper. 425 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,040 Kill him! 426 00:19:40,964 --> 00:19:42,964 <i>This is the Federal government.</i> 427 00:19:43,088 --> 00:19:45,088 <i>You are surrounded.</i> 428 00:19:45,112 --> 00:19:49,112 <i>Place the evidence, one at a time, on the bar.</i> 429 00:19:49,236 --> 00:19:55,236 <i>Slow it on full, frontward. I repeat, frontward.</i> 430 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:00,560 Sorry, but you're a little late. 431 00:20:00,620 --> 00:20:04,080 According to my watch, it's TP time. 432 00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:09,004 NOOOOO! NOOOOO! 433 00:20:17,728 --> 00:20:18,628 Oh! 434 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,552 Augh! 435 00:20:22,710 --> 00:20:24,630 <i>Well, this is where we came in, wasn't it?</i> 436 00:20:24,950 --> 00:20:25,950 <i>Pretty exciting, huh?</i> 437 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,050 <i>Up until the last part.</i> 438 00:20:33,260 --> 00:20:35,240 Things had a strange way of working out. 439 00:20:35,241 --> 00:20:38,520 No sooner had I regained consciousness than I had a visitor. 440 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,416 Mr. Stubbs, I'm Alfred Sauer, 441 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,520 Chairman of the HUD Board of Review. 442 00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:49,420 Look, uh, I'm sorry about the toilet paper. You know, I... 443 00:20:49,484 --> 00:20:50,984 NO!... It is <i>I</i> who am sorry. 444 00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:53,480 Sorry for the behavior of my agency that 445 00:20:53,504 --> 00:20:55,560 drove you to such insane actions. 446 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:56,460 Oh, here. 447 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:57,680 Let me help you with that. 448 00:21:01,050 --> 00:21:03,948 This entire incident and the public embarrassment it's 449 00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:06,870 caused has made me realize that HUD's 35-year-old... 450 00:21:06,871 --> 00:21:10,390 policy of depriving people in the projects of their basic human necessities, 451 00:21:10,510 --> 00:21:13,830 while admirable in theory, was perhaps a bit short-sighted. 452 00:21:13,910 --> 00:21:14,970 Not to mention illegal. 453 00:21:15,570 --> 00:21:16,990 Yeah, it was a real horror show. 454 00:21:17,270 --> 00:21:18,790 Now how about some of them Lima beans? 455 00:21:19,250 --> 00:21:20,250 Of course. 456 00:21:20,470 --> 00:21:23,578 And to thank you for not speaking to the press or seeking 457 00:21:23,602 --> 00:21:26,710 damages against us, we are going to upgrade your service. 458 00:21:26,950 --> 00:21:29,926 From now on, instead of getting 1 master water filter a year, 459 00:21:29,950 --> 00:21:33,690 your building will get 2 every 36 months! 460 00:21:34,090 --> 00:21:35,430 All right, now you're talking! 461 00:21:41,460 --> 00:21:43,160 <i>So it all ended happily, my brothers.</i> 462 00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:45,324 <i>And I drifted back to sleep to the sounds</i> 463 00:21:45,348 --> 00:21:47,220 <i>of my beloved Luther Van.</i> 463 00:21:48,305 --> 00:22:48,606 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm