Hide and Seek

1 00:00:04,354 --> 00:00:05,844 Okay, Lou. 2 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:13,074 3 00:00:55,439 --> 00:00:59,000 After I found out that it was wrong... 4 00:00:59,109 --> 00:01:00,634 there had to be a reason to do it... 5 00:01:00,744 --> 00:01:04,874 you had to develop a story around it because you couldnt just do it anymore... 6 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:08,885 and it couldn't just happen— we had to develop a story. 7 00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:12,388 So The Monkees was the one we attached ourselves to... 8 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:18,622 and we used to pretend to be one of the Monkees and his girlfriend. 9 00:01:18,729 --> 00:01:20,197 And I had learned that much: 10 00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:23,096 that there were boyfriends and girlfriends and that they did things. 11 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:27,159 And they went away for weekends and it was always filthy. 12 00:01:27,271 --> 00:01:30,707 They never did nothin' else, Just were filthy together. 13 00:01:30,807 --> 00:01:31,899 So we used to go up to her room... 14 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:35,206 and I'd pack a plastic bag and she'd pack a plastic bag— 15 00:01:35,312 --> 00:01:37,007 which were our weekend cases— 16 00:01:37,114 --> 00:01:38,479 and we'd go up to her room... 17 00:01:38,582 --> 00:01:42,541 and we'd say how we were making an appointment to have. 18 00:01:42,653 --> 00:01:44,052 this room for the weekend... 19 00:01:44,154 --> 00:01:47,988 and I was Davy Jones and this was Patricia Canny... 20 00:01:48,091 --> 00:01:51,459 or I was Marie Honan and this was Davy jones. 21 00:01:51,561 --> 00:01:54,155 And we'd get the key, you know... 22 00:01:54,264 --> 00:01:56,631 we had all this ritualistic stuff we used to do... 23 00:01:56,733 --> 00:01:58,861 and we'd lock the door. 24 00:01:58,969 --> 00:02:01,631 And then she'd say, “Well, Davy... 25 00:02:01,738 --> 00:02:03,433 it's time to go to bed”. 26 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:06,066 And we'd pull back the covers and get into bed. 27 00:02:06,176 --> 00:02:09,202 And then we'd just rub off each other frantically. 28 00:02:09,313 --> 00:02:11,213 Take off our clothes sometimes. 29 00:02:11,315 --> 00:02:12,407 We stopped taking off our clothes after a while... 30 00:02:12,516 --> 00:02:15,008 because we had to get ready to leap out in case anyone came. 31 00:02:15,118 --> 00:02:19,112 And that was part of it— listenin' for someone coming. 32 00:02:20,524 --> 00:02:25,223 And so we'd do that for ages and then we'd get up... 33 00:02:25,329 --> 00:02:31,530 and pack our plastic bags and go home in our car. 34 00:02:35,005 --> 00:02:38,669 Let me start early, okay? 35 00:02:38,775 --> 00:02:40,766 I was in third grade. 36 00:02:40,877 --> 00:02:42,276 No, fifth grade. 37 00:02:42,379 --> 00:02:45,610 And there was this teacher, her name was Miss Reed... 38 00:02:45,716 --> 00:02:47,650 and she was about twenty-three years old... 39 00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:51,449 and she had really long, red hair... 40 00:02:51,555 --> 00:02:55,150 and she put our desks in the form of a peace sign. 41 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:59,252 She was really cool and really, really a good teacher... 42 00:02:59,363 --> 00:03:01,730 really cared about the kids and everything. 43 00:03:01,832 --> 00:03:05,928 And I remember she was forming this huge peace sign... 44 00:03:06,036 --> 00:03:10,303 and in the middle of the peace sign she was hanging something on the ceiling... 45 00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:12,603 and there was really high ceilings... 46 00:03:12,709 --> 00:03:18,443 and she was on the top of this ladder and all the boys were under the ladder... 47 00:03:18,548 --> 00:03:22,007 and I go under the ladder too... 48 00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:26,989 and I look up and she's got black underwear on. 49 00:03:27,090 --> 00:03:30,549 I was like— 1 was like— I couldn't breathe. 50 00:03:32,062 --> 00:03:34,190 Here we come 51 00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:37,198 Walkin' down the street 52 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:42,898 Get the funniest looks from everyone we meet 53 00:03:43,006 --> 00:03:45,441 Hey, hey, we're The Monkees 54 00:03:45,542 --> 00:03:48,341 And people say we monkey around 55 00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:51,471 But we're too busy singing 56 00:03:51,581 --> 00:03:54,551 To put anybody down 57 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:57,086 We're just tryin' to be friendly 58 00:03:57,187 --> 00:04:00,179 Come and watch us sing and play 59 00:04:00,290 --> 00:04:02,918 We're the young generation 60 00:04:03,026 --> 00:04:06,257 And we've got something to say 61 00:04:06,363 --> 00:04:08,661 Hey, hey, we're The monkees 62 00:04:08,765 --> 00:04:12,258 You never know where we'll be found 63 00:04:12,369 --> 00:04:14,531 So you'd better get ready 64 00:04:14,638 --> 00:04:18,666 We may be comin' to your town 65 00:04:19,743 --> 00:04:22,041 Red— R-E-D. 66 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:24,575 Seven. 67 00:04:27,751 --> 00:04:29,845 - One, one. - Two. 68 00:04:31,321 --> 00:04:32,720 God, that must be her! 69 00:04:32,823 --> 00:04:36,123 - Who? - That lady that's driving the car! 70 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:44,963 - Hello, girls. - Hello, Miss Callahan. 71 00:04:50,006 --> 00:04:52,407 That was Miss Callahan's girlfriend. 72 00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:53,635 What do you mean? 73 00:04:53,743 --> 00:04:55,837 Didn't you notice that lady in the car? 74 00:04:55,946 --> 00:04:59,712 She's the one who brings Miss Callahan to school every morning. 75 00:04:59,816 --> 00:05:01,944 Maybe Callahan doesn't have a car. 76 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,315 Maybe they're roommates. 77 00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:05,514 Yeah—"Cause they're lezzies! 78 00:05:05,622 --> 00:05:08,648 But Miss Callahan is the nicest teacher in the whole school! 79 00:05:08,758 --> 00:05:11,728 - That doesn't mean it's not true! - Who said so? 80 00:05:11,828 --> 00:05:13,057 Janice told me. 81 00:05:13,163 --> 00:05:16,326 I don't care what Janice says, I don't think it's true. 82 00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:18,299 It's not just Janice. 83 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:21,098 Everybody knows. Callahan is a homo. 84 00:05:22,539 --> 00:05:23,199 Hey you guys! 85 00:05:23,306 --> 00:05:26,276 Guess what, guess what!? My mom said I could have a slumber party! 86 00:05:26,376 --> 00:05:28,743 - Awesome! - That's great! Oh, cool! 87 00:05:31,781 --> 00:05:35,649 I don't like the need to argue our right to exist... 88 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:39,484 based on a scientific inevitability: “We can't help it.” 89 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,853 I don't want to help it. I've never wanted to help it. 90 00:05:41,958 --> 00:05:46,486 And I actually feel that, probably, I could help it if I worked at it. 91 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:49,463 And maybe there are a lot of people who don't feel that way. 92 00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:51,660 But gene theory to me Is the least interesting... 93 00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:56,365 and the most over simplified way of thinking about these things. 94 00:05:56,473 --> 00:05:59,704 1 liked the idea of that gay gene theory, I thought it was a good thing... 95 00:05:59,809 --> 00:06:02,744 but I've been reading other things lately that have dissuaded me from that. 96 00:06:02,846 --> 00:06:04,143 I mean, one may have the predisposition... 97 00:06:04,247 --> 00:06:09,708 but also the societal factors have to be in place for it to be a possibility. 98 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:14,614 When I first began to understand that f am gay... 99 00:06:14,724 --> 00:06:17,091 I was looking for a cause... 100 00:06:17,193 --> 00:06:20,823 and I have a very, very hard time to explain it. 101 00:06:20,931 --> 00:06:24,458 I wouldn't really come up with an answer in my case... 102 00:06:24,568 --> 00:06:27,538 nor necessarily in anybody else's case. 103 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,071 I mean, I cannot— 104 00:06:29,172 --> 00:06:32,233 the only thing that maybe supported it... 105 00:06:32,342 --> 00:06:35,471 was this very female environment... 106 00:06:35,579 --> 00:06:37,104 but my sister grew up in the same environment... 107 00:06:37,213 --> 00:06:39,204 and she didn't feel that way about women. 108 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:40,841 She likes women very much... 109 00:06:40,951 --> 00:06:44,615 but she has no sexual interest inn women. 110 00:06:44,721 --> 00:06:49,090 She even tried, just to be fair... 111 00:06:49,192 --> 00:06:52,025 But— 112 00:06:52,128 --> 00:06:54,688 But it didn't work. 113 00:06:54,798 --> 00:06:57,460 I don't know, I mean they say a lot of things... 114 00:06:57,567 --> 00:06:59,331 about how we got to be gay— 115 00:06:59,436 --> 00:07:02,963 you know, the genetic thing or the way you were raised. 116 00:07:03,073 --> 00:07:04,734 I don't know what it is. 117 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:09,108 But I knew... 118 00:07:09,212 --> 00:07:11,203 and I was born that way... 119 00:07:11,314 --> 00:07:14,545 I was. That's just the way it was. 120 00:07:14,651 --> 00:07:18,554 Not knowing what to do... 121 00:07:18,655 --> 00:07:20,851 with the feeling that 1 had for other girls... 122 00:07:20,957 --> 00:07:23,221 1 just left it alone. 123 00:07:23,326 --> 00:07:26,057 1 did many things... 124 00:07:26,162 --> 00:07:28,654 that typical girls in society do... 125 00:07:28,765 --> 00:07:31,291 because that's what I was supposed to do. 126 00:07:31,401 --> 00:07:35,838 I wasn't supposed to be a lesbian, so why would I even look into it? 127 00:07:35,939 --> 00:07:40,968 1 had boyfriends because you're supposed to have a boyfriend. 128 00:07:55,825 --> 00:07:57,759 Maybe there is this gene that makes you gay. 129 00:07:57,861 --> 00:08:00,728 Maybe it is like eye color or hair color or something like that. 130 00:08:00,830 --> 00:08:03,492 I don't really know, I don't really think too much about it. 131 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:06,126 just know that I feel better this way... 132 00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,864 and I spent so much of my life... 133 00:08:08,972 --> 00:08:11,270 thinking about why am I gay... 134 00:08:11,374 --> 00:08:12,739 and why am I this way. 135 00:08:12,842 --> 00:08:15,038 And is it okay? Is it not okay? 136 00:08:15,145 --> 00:08:16,306 ts like... 137 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,677 I'm forty three years old now and gave it up. 138 00:08:18,782 --> 00:08:22,013 I don't really want to know, I don't care anymore. 139 00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:28,089 Okay, now. Settle down, children. 140 00:08:28,191 --> 00:08:30,285 For the past five years... 141 00:08:30,393 --> 00:08:34,352 Mr. Hennessey has dedicated himself one hundred percent to our school... 142 00:08:34,464 --> 00:08:38,423 and has helped us make it one of the finest schools in the city. 143 00:08:38,535 --> 00:08:40,526 I've been working as a teacher and administrator... 144 00:08:40,637 --> 00:08:42,662 for the last thirty-two years... 145 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:47,107 and I can't recall anyone who has worked as steadfastly and energetically... 146 00:08:47,210 --> 00:08:48,974 as Mr. Hennessey. 147 00:09:01,591 --> 00:09:04,492 And this afternoon we're here to show our gratitude... 148 00:09:04,594 --> 00:09:07,427 for all the hard work he's done. 149 00:09:07,530 --> 00:09:11,990 Mr Hennessey, why don't you stand up and take a bow? 150 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:20,034 And now it's time for our farewell show... 151 00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,133 which was put together by a group... 152 00:09:21,244 --> 00:09:24,839 of our sixth, seventh and eighth graders. 153 00:09:24,948 --> 00:09:26,677 They've planned a wonderful program... 154 00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:29,150 which I'm certain that you're all going to enjoy. 155 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:33,285 So, without further ado, here is Mark Musinski... 156 00:09:33,389 --> 00:09:34,686 our emcee for the show. 157 00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:36,156 Mark? 158 00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:44,763 The first performance this afternoon will be by Denise Williams... 159 00:09:44,868 --> 00:09:49,362 who had one of her poems printed in the Sunday paper last week. 160 00:09:49,472 --> 00:09:53,238 Today she will read a poem entitled “Black Radiance.” 161 00:09:59,282 --> 00:10:04,982 I'm going to read a poem I wrote about one of the great queens of ancient Africa. 162 00:10:05,088 --> 00:10:07,182 “Black Radiance” 163 00:10:07,290 --> 00:10:08,815 Black was the night 164 00:10:08,925 --> 00:10:10,552 Like ebony her skin 165 00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:12,287 Gold was her crown 166 00:10:12,395 --> 00:10:14,523 And her soul within 167 00:10:14,631 --> 00:10:15,996 Stronger was she 168 00:10:16,099 --> 00:10:18,090 Than flood or fire 169 00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:19,532 Kinder was she 170 00:10:19,636 --> 00:10:21,661 Than a heart's desire 171 00:10:21,771 --> 00:10:23,296 Queen of the Desert 172 00:10:23,406 --> 00:10:24,601 Queen of the Night 173 00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:25,640 Queen of Love 174 00:10:25,742 --> 00:10:27,471 And Queen of Light 175 00:10:27,577 --> 00:10:29,375 The great Queen of Sheba 176 00:10:29,479 --> 00:10:31,743 Was Noble and Right 177 00:10:34,684 --> 00:10:38,518 And I think a lot of lesbians do the tomboy thing. 178 00:10:38,621 --> 00:10:42,717 You know, we figure out whether we played with dolls... 179 00:10:42,826 --> 00:10:43,816 or played with trucks... 180 00:10:43,927 --> 00:10:46,453 or whether we ever liked to wear dresses... 181 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:50,431 or that type of reconstructed memory... 182 00:10:50,533 --> 00:10:52,934 that fits nicely into how we think... 183 00:10:53,036 --> 00:10:54,504 lesbians are supposed to be. 184 00:10:54,604 --> 00:10:56,504 Of course, tons of lesbians played with dolls... 185 00:10:56,606 --> 00:10:59,166 and never thought about having crushes on girls... 186 00:10:59,275 --> 00:11:02,438 and even thought they were going to get married and have kids. 187 00:11:02,545 --> 00:11:07,676 So I just don't know what I think about lesbian childhoods, although... 188 00:11:07,784 --> 00:11:11,778 you know, if there is such a thing I had something close it. 189 00:11:14,157 --> 00:11:16,626 When I was growing up there were two older cousins... 190 00:11:16,726 --> 00:11:19,525 and they would take me with them to do everything that they did. 191 00:11:19,629 --> 00:11:24,123 We went to hunt fish or birds and we had a lot of animals... 192 00:11:24,234 --> 00:11:27,795 I went with them to butcher the cows or the pigs or the goats... 193 00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:31,204 or to build fences orto cut down trees. 194 00:11:31,307 --> 00:11:33,071 [think a lot of people mistook me for a boy... 195 00:11:33,176 --> 00:11:36,111 ‘cause I was always with them doing all these things. 196 00:11:41,150 --> 00:11:43,414 Oh, yeah, definitely a tomboy. 197 00:11:43,519 --> 00:11:44,884 I mean, sort of lead a dual life... 198 00:11:44,988 --> 00:11:47,753 ‘cause when I wanted to be more of a girl... 199 00:11:47,857 --> 00:11:50,121 I would go hang out with Mary Jane Koplowitz.. 200 00:11:50,226 --> 00:11:54,163 and then if I wanted to be playin' baseball and stuff like that. 201 00:11:54,264 --> 00:11:56,494 1d go hang out with all the boys. 202 00:11:57,367 --> 00:12:00,564 I remember we used to have a lot of snowstorms... 203 00:12:00,670 --> 00:12:02,604 so there was always snowball fights... 204 00:12:02,705 --> 00:12:06,266 and I could get to the lake in ten minutes from my house... 205 00:12:06,376 --> 00:12:08,504 so I could get there early before anyone else was on the ice. 206 00:12:08,611 --> 00:12:12,946 The ice would be smooth as glass, nobody would be on it. 207 00:12:13,049 --> 00:12:15,074 used to think I was Sonja Henne, you know. 208 00:12:15,184 --> 00:12:19,678 1 didn't know how to twirl or anything, I would just fake it. 209 00:12:19,789 --> 00:12:21,154 That was great. 210 00:12:30,099 --> 00:12:32,090 I was a tough little kid, as I recall. 211 00:12:32,201 --> 00:12:34,932 I could keep up. I mean, I would get taunted for being a girl... 212 00:12:35,038 --> 00:12:37,302 but not because I threw like a girl... 213 00:12:37,407 --> 00:12:39,739 or ifthe wind got knocked out of me playing football... 214 00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:42,607 they would not see a tear, there's no way. 215 00:12:42,712 --> 00:12:44,680 Ifthey threw rocks at me, threw ‘em right back. 216 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:05,390 You know, when I'd done the house... 217 00:13:05,501 --> 00:13:08,061 I used to go out into the fields and, oh... 218 00:13:08,171 --> 00:13:10,139 it was such an amazing place, it really was. 219 00:13:10,239 --> 00:13:11,434 I mean, it was just fields... 220 00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:15,375 but they were just so full of wild flowers... 221 00:13:15,478 --> 00:13:19,039 and streams and grass and weeds... 222 00:13:19,148 --> 00:13:23,085 and 1 mean I used to lie down in the grass and no one would know I was there. 223 00:13:23,186 --> 00:13:27,885 1 could hide for hours and it was my own world, it was my own place. 224 00:13:38,501 --> 00:13:40,560 Aw, shoot! 225 00:13:46,676 --> 00:13:48,337 I gotit!l gotit! 226 00:13:48,444 --> 00:13:50,503 Hey, Lou. 227 00:13:50,613 --> 00:13:52,707 I dare you to go into that building. 228 00:13:52,815 --> 00:13:54,510 Why? What are you gonna give me? 229 00:13:54,617 --> 00:13:57,177 Nothin', "cause you're too chicken to goin. 230 00:13:57,286 --> 00:13:58,378 I am not. 231 00:14:00,390 --> 00:14:03,291 I dare you to go up to the second floor and wave to us from that window. 232 00:14:04,894 --> 00:14:06,589 No problem. 233 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:35,217 I was very scared during puberty of the changes that happened to my body. 234 00:14:35,324 --> 00:14:38,624 1 didn't like the fact that I was getting breasts... 235 00:14:38,728 --> 00:14:43,723 and I was terrified that my father wanted to buy a bra for me. 236 00:14:43,833 --> 00:14:47,463 And then when I got my period— 237 00:14:47,570 --> 00:14:51,097 all of that— 1 really didn't want to acknowledge. 238 00:14:51,207 --> 00:14:54,837 And I think I had a very hard time parting with childhood, very hard. 239 00:14:54,944 --> 00:14:58,005 1 didn't ever want to become an adult... 240 00:14:58,114 --> 00:15:02,347 and I don't think I've reconciled with the idea even at this point. 241 00:15:07,790 --> 00:15:09,588 Hey, where you goin', Lou? 242 00:15:09,692 --> 00:15:10,591 Yeah, what's the matter? 243 00:15:10,693 --> 00:15:12,991 I just remembered I have to go! 244 00:15:13,096 --> 00:15:14,655 Come to the park with us. 245 00:15:14,764 --> 00:15:15,822 No! 246 00:15:15,932 --> 00:15:18,629 Did ya see a ghost in there? 247 00:15:19,602 --> 00:15:21,832 Aw, you're a sissy! 248 00:15:21,938 --> 00:15:23,497 Sissy, sissy, Sissy... 249 00:15:46,262 --> 00:15:47,320 Hey, Lou? 250 00:15:48,564 --> 00:15:49,861 Hurry up! 251 00:15:51,634 --> 00:15:53,329 Are you okay? 252 00:15:54,670 --> 00:15:58,038 Let mein. I have to go to the bathroom! 253 00:15:58,141 --> 00:15:59,438 Okay! 254 00:16:18,961 --> 00:16:20,986 Jeez! It's about time! 255 00:16:23,332 --> 00:16:25,300 Oh, my God. I can't believe it! 256 00:16:27,670 --> 00:16:31,004 Lou, didn't Mom talk to you about it? 257 00:16:32,875 --> 00:16:34,707 Just wait a second. I'll help you. 258 00:16:38,114 --> 00:16:41,243 Oh Lou, it's not like you just died or something! 259 00:16:45,321 --> 00:16:46,948 Here. You can use my belt. 260 00:16:47,056 --> 00:16:49,218 I don't want to wear that stupid thing. 261 00:16:49,325 --> 00:16:51,384 It's huge. Everyone will be able to tell. 262 00:16:51,494 --> 00:16:53,929 - No, they won't! - Yes, they will! 263 00:16:54,030 --> 00:16:55,862 Not if you wear a skirt. 264 00:16:55,965 --> 00:16:57,865 I don't want to wear askirt all the time! 265 00:16:57,967 --> 00:16:59,560 It's not all the time. 266 00:16:59,669 --> 00:17:02,536 And I bet some of the other girls in your class have it already. 267 00:17:02,638 --> 00:17:04,640 What difference does that make? 268 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:05,004 What difference does that make? 269 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:08,566 At about twelve and a half Mary reached puberty. 270 00:17:08,678 --> 00:17:12,080 Around this time, she found that her friends wanted to talk about sex. 271 00:17:12,181 --> 00:17:15,811 He opened the door and there she was lying in bed. 272 00:17:15,918 --> 00:17:18,751 Some of them got most of their information... 273 00:17:18,854 --> 00:17:21,551 from off-color jokes that they didn't understand. 274 00:17:23,492 --> 00:17:26,325 Some of them learned about sex from books. 275 00:17:26,429 --> 00:17:29,399 But there were so many things that they didn't know. 276 00:17:29,498 --> 00:17:30,988 Does kissing have anything to do... 277 00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:32,795 I mean, with having babies? 278 00:17:32,902 --> 00:17:34,927 Are you afraid of having a baby, Mary? 279 00:17:35,037 --> 00:17:38,007 No, I'm not, because after all... 280 00:17:38,107 --> 00:17:41,236 people have been having babies for thousands of years. 281 00:17:41,344 --> 00:17:46,043 For Mary, the fulfillment of a healthy sex life held no fears. 282 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:48,742 Sex was not something sinister to be whispered about. 283 00:17:48,851 --> 00:17:51,286 Girls! Am I going to have to separate the two of you? 284 00:17:51,387 --> 00:17:54,015 But it was a natural function which could contribute... 285 00:17:54,123 --> 00:17:57,855 to the ultimate happiness of home and of family. 286 00:17:57,960 --> 00:17:59,257 About this time... 287 00:17:59,362 --> 00:18:03,321 Mary developed a sudden, strong friendship with Lucille Williams. 288 00:18:03,432 --> 00:18:06,891 It seemed that Mary could talk better with Lucille than with anybody. 289 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:10,098 They had absolutely no secrets from each other. 290 00:18:10,206 --> 00:18:12,004 They were inseparable. 291 00:18:12,108 --> 00:18:15,806 To Mary's mother, it seemed unnatural... 292 00:18:15,911 --> 00:18:19,506 this continual intimacy, this concentration of affection... 293 00:18:19,615 --> 00:18:23,108 on one, not very unusual, girl, 294 00:18:23,219 --> 00:18:27,781 Oh, Lucille, wait a minute! We forgot about Fthel! 295 00:18:27,890 --> 00:18:29,551 Oh, we don't have to bring her. 296 00:18:29,659 --> 00:18:31,593 You know what she's like with boys and everything. 297 00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:34,664 Mary, darling, you're keeping Lucille from her dinner. 298 00:18:34,764 --> 00:18:37,563 Oh, I was just leaving, Mrs. Gibbs. 299 00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:39,635 Hey, Lucille. 300 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:41,970 Bye-bye. I'll see you tomorrow! 301 00:18:42,071 --> 00:18:44,199 - Okay, then. Bye. - Bye. 302 00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:51,075 Mother forgets the devotion she had to her own girlfriend about 25 years ago. 303 00:18:51,180 --> 00:18:56,016 Next there was a crush on Ethel Hampton, senior girl's tennis champion. 304 00:18:56,118 --> 00:18:59,986 Mary seemed to have a real need to be stirred up about someone. 305 00:19:00,089 --> 00:19:03,491 It was a transition stage from the antagonism towards boys... 306 00:19:03,592 --> 00:19:09,053 Just before puberty to the next stage of falling in love with a boy. 307 00:19:09,965 --> 00:19:12,263 Soon she reached that stage. 308 00:19:13,502 --> 00:19:16,938 She spent hours trying to make herself more attractive... 309 00:19:17,039 --> 00:19:20,907 imagining herselfin all kinds of romantic situations. 310 00:19:22,511 --> 00:19:24,104 1t might be a boy! 311 00:19:27,783 --> 00:19:31,083 Hey, Lucille, you goin' over to Mary's house? 312 00:19:32,154 --> 00:19:35,351 My name isn't Lucille. It's Lou! 313 00:19:41,197 --> 00:19:44,792 We never— In my family, we never talked about sex. 314 00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:46,891 To this day we never talked about it. 315 00:19:47,002 --> 00:19:51,633 Sex was taboo: Don't talk about it. 316 00:19:53,008 --> 00:19:55,102 I don't know how I learned about— 317 00:19:55,211 --> 00:19:59,876 I learned about sex from my best girlfriend. 318 00:19:59,982 --> 00:20:02,610 She lived on the top floor, 1 lived on the bottom floor... 319 00:20:02,718 --> 00:20:06,382 and, you know, kids get on the bannister and slide down. 320 00:20:06,489 --> 00:20:08,389 And there was— 321 00:20:10,092 --> 00:20:12,891 There was a ball at the end of this bannister... 322 00:20:12,995 --> 00:20:14,292 and we— one of us— 323 00:20:14,397 --> 00:20:17,833 slid down this bannister and hit this ball... 324 00:20:17,933 --> 00:20:21,335 and it was a different feeling. 325 00:20:21,437 --> 00:20:23,963 So one of us, whoever did it first, told the other one... 326 00:20:24,073 --> 00:20:28,271 “You gotta try that!” So we tried that. 327 00:20:28,377 --> 00:20:33,247 That was our new friend— for a little while, just for a little while. 328 00:20:33,349 --> 00:20:36,444 I have a younger sister and 1 said. 329 00:20:36,552 --> 00:20:39,351 “You know, when I climb on the bannister it feels really good.” 330 00:20:39,455 --> 00:20:40,889 And she told my mother. 331 00:20:43,125 --> 00:20:44,092 And my mother said... 332 00:20:44,193 --> 00:20:47,857 “If you do that you won't be able to have babies.” 333 00:20:47,963 --> 00:20:52,799 But, you know, I guess I just figured, “Oh well!” 334 00:21:05,648 --> 00:21:09,050 It wasn't so much that 1 didn't know how babies were made... 335 00:21:09,151 --> 00:21:10,209 it was that I didn't know the mechanics... 336 00:21:10,319 --> 00:21:13,687 I didn't know what to do and I didn't know my own body... 337 00:21:13,789 --> 00:21:16,087 and nobody was telling me anything about it. 338 00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:18,286 In fact, I probably didn't want to hear it. 339 00:21:18,394 --> 00:21:20,829 It was probably really embarrassing. 340 00:21:20,930 --> 00:21:22,830 And for me— I think, you know... 341 00:21:22,932 --> 00:21:24,491 in this culture most people are embarrassed— 342 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:28,002 but for me it was more embarrassing because that meant I was a girl... 343 00:21:28,103 --> 00:21:33,166 that meant I had to deal with what girls are and how that feels. 344 00:21:40,749 --> 00:21:42,843 Hi, Lou! 345 00:21:45,421 --> 00:21:46,889 Why didn't you come over? 346 00:21:46,989 --> 00:21:49,321 I was riding around. 347 00:21:49,425 --> 00:21:50,984 Why? 348 00:21:51,093 --> 00:21:52,185 I don't know. 349 00:21:52,294 --> 00:21:53,921 Are you mad? 350 00:21:54,029 --> 00:21:56,191 - Yeah. - 'Cause of Maureen? 351 00:21:56,298 --> 00:21:58,357 Yeah. She made me so mad... 352 00:21:58,467 --> 00:22:00,367 I wanted to punch her in the face! 353 00:22:01,370 --> 00:22:05,238 You shouldn't listen to her! She's just trying to get everybody's attention. 354 00:22:05,341 --> 00:22:06,740 She didn't mean anything by it! 355 00:22:09,845 --> 00:22:11,244 I guess. 356 00:22:13,782 --> 00:22:15,079 You want my other Susie-Q? 357 00:22:21,724 --> 00:22:23,158 It's kind of squished. 358 00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:24,988 Thanks. 359 00:22:31,033 --> 00:22:33,525 You want to hear something Maureen told me? 360 00:22:33,636 --> 00:22:35,229 About what? 361 00:22:35,337 --> 00:22:37,328 About what happens when you do it. 362 00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:40,101 - Do what? - lt 363 00:22:40,209 --> 00:22:43,110 - How does she know? - I think her Mom told her. 364 00:22:43,212 --> 00:22:46,375 Anyway, she said you have to get into bed— naked— 365 00:22:46,482 --> 00:22:48,610 and close your eyes... 366 00:22:48,717 --> 00:22:50,651 and your husband gets on top of you... 367 00:22:50,753 --> 00:22:54,712 and he puts his thing in and you have to lie completely still... 368 00:22:54,823 --> 00:22:57,952 without moving a muscle for twelve hours. 369 00:22:58,060 --> 00:23:00,392 For twelve hours? 370 00:23:00,496 --> 00:23:03,329 And you can't move at all or it doesn't work. 371 00:23:03,432 --> 00:23:07,335 - 1 could never lie still for that long. - Lets try it! 372 00:23:09,805 --> 00:23:13,469 Lie down, and the first one to move even an eyelash... 373 00:23:13,576 --> 00:23:15,442 has to pay fifty cents. 374 00:23:28,857 --> 00:23:32,953 1 had this mad crush on this other little girl when I was seven... 375 00:23:33,062 --> 00:23:37,397 but all of that was tolerated and we were told that it was normal. 376 00:23:37,499 --> 00:23:40,196 But was really in love with this little girl Laurie. 377 00:23:40,302 --> 00:23:42,430 And it's funny because, looking back... 378 00:23:42,538 --> 00:23:45,007 everything's sorta come full circle, because my girlfriend... 379 00:23:45,107 --> 00:23:47,508 now reminds me so much of Laurie. 380 00:23:47,610 --> 00:23:49,601 But then, you know, none of the little books... 381 00:23:49,712 --> 00:23:52,704 had the two little princesses getting married or anything... 382 00:23:52,815 --> 00:23:56,581 it was always the prince and the princess and the king and the queen. 383 00:23:58,621 --> 00:24:01,113 The children are capable of playing out a variety of roles... 384 00:24:01,223 --> 00:24:04,784 which include family roles and those outside the home. 385 00:24:05,761 --> 00:24:07,627 This is done in a more elaborate manner... 386 00:24:07,730 --> 00:24:10,859 and may involve anticipation of future roles. 387 00:24:15,537 --> 00:24:17,062 Kiss each other. 388 00:24:27,082 --> 00:24:30,052 Oh, yeah. I wanted to be a boy... 389 00:24:30,152 --> 00:24:32,450 and grow up and marry my cousin Phillip... 390 00:24:34,256 --> 00:24:37,157 and I think that sums up everything. 391 00:24:37,259 --> 00:24:41,253 That's right, I really think it's just a passing phase. 392 00:24:41,363 --> 00:24:43,661 But children's fantasies are fascinating, aren't they? 393 00:24:43,766 --> 00:24:45,325 We could go on talking all night. 394 00:24:45,434 --> 00:24:46,993 It's a tremendous subject. 395 00:24:47,102 --> 00:24:49,935 And we haven't even touched on those secret, inner fantasies... 396 00:24:50,039 --> 00:24:51,564 that children build up for themselves... 397 00:24:51,674 --> 00:24:53,904 through misinterpreting the actions and words of adults. 398 00:24:54,009 --> 00:24:57,411 Oh, you read about terrible cases that affect children's whole personalties. 399 00:24:57,513 --> 00:25:01,040 How do you mean, affect their whole personalities? 400 00:25:01,150 --> 00:25:04,017 She was a neighbor and she was very beautiful... 401 00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:08,078 and 1 had a very strange relationship to her because I adored her beauty. 402 00:25:08,190 --> 00:25:11,387 She had long blonde curls, and she was very thin— 403 00:25:11,493 --> 00:25:14,224 Iwas a chubby kid. 404 00:25:14,329 --> 00:25:16,696 Her body intrigued me completely. 405 00:25:16,799 --> 00:25:22,363 She had something that to this day I find the most erotic thing... 406 00:25:22,471 --> 00:25:25,668 and that is if women have very delicate legs... 407 00:25:25,774 --> 00:25:28,038 then the knee, the back of the knee... 408 00:25:28,143 --> 00:25:31,078 you can see this... this tendon. 409 00:25:31,180 --> 00:25:33,080 And I think that's so beautiful. 410 00:25:33,182 --> 00:25:36,675 It was the most erotic thing. So I would love to walk behind her... 411 00:25:36,785 --> 00:25:39,811 when she walked up the stairs, so I could see that. 412 00:25:41,890 --> 00:25:43,858 I wanted to be a lesbian child, really... 413 00:25:43,959 --> 00:25:46,291 I wanted to kind of decide that 1 had crushes on all my friends... 414 00:25:46,395 --> 00:25:48,489 but I don't think I really did. 415 00:25:48,597 --> 00:25:52,864 1 had very few experiences with boys and no experiences with girs... 416 00:25:52,968 --> 00:25:54,902 but I listened to everybody else's stories. 417 00:25:56,505 --> 00:25:59,998 I remember in the evening she would turn cartwheels in the garden... 418 00:26:00,109 --> 00:26:02,476 before she had to go to bed because she could do this very well— 419 00:26:02,578 --> 00:26:05,604 and she would be naked already after having taken the bath to go to bed. 420 00:26:05,714 --> 00:26:08,706 She would turn cartwheels and I would always like to look between her legs... 421 00:26:08,817 --> 00:26:10,911 but it would just be a glimpse. 422 00:26:11,019 --> 00:26:14,649 And it was not this exploration... 423 00:26:14,757 --> 00:26:18,523 that I guess would be normal for kids. 424 00:26:27,803 --> 00:26:29,635 - Hey, Lou. - Hi, Betsy. 425 00:26:29,738 --> 00:26:31,331 Come on. Let's goin. 426 00:26:32,741 --> 00:26:34,368 Can I have two, please? 427 00:26:38,447 --> 00:26:40,211 Thanks a lot. 428 00:27:43,011 --> 00:27:46,106 Oh, Lizzie and Denise! Let's see what they're doing. 429 00:27:48,450 --> 00:27:51,784 Before you break my heart 430 00:27:56,124 --> 00:27:59,992 Baby, baby I'm aware of where you go 431 00:28:00,095 --> 00:28:03,087 Each time you leave my door 432 00:28:03,198 --> 00:28:06,998 I watch you walk down the street 433 00:28:07,102 --> 00:28:10,197 Knowing you your other love you meet 434 00:28:10,305 --> 00:28:14,435 But this time before you run to her 435 00:28:14,543 --> 00:28:17,877 Leaving me alone and hurt 436 00:28:17,980 --> 00:28:21,109 - Think it o-o-ver - Haven't I been good to you 437 00:28:21,216 --> 00:28:25,210 - Think it o-o-ver - Haven't I been sweet to you 438 00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:29,188 Stop in the name of love 439 00:28:29,291 --> 00:28:32,750 Before you break my heart 440 00:28:32,861 --> 00:28:36,229 Stop in the name of love 441 00:28:36,331 --> 00:28:39,392 Before you break my heart 442 00:28:39,501 --> 00:28:41,435 Think it over 443 00:28:43,205 --> 00:28:47,073 - Think it over - Go, Tracey. 444 00:28:47,175 --> 00:28:50,873 I've known of your, your secluded nights 445 00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:53,846 I've even seen her maybe once or twice 446 00:28:53,949 --> 00:28:57,783 But is her sweet expression 447 00:28:57,886 --> 00:29:01,618 Worth more than my love and affection 448 00:29:01,723 --> 00:29:05,489 But this time before you leave my arms 449 00:29:05,594 --> 00:29:08,791 And rush off to her charms 450 00:29:08,897 --> 00:29:11,992 - Think it o-o-ver - Haven't I been good to you 451 00:29:12,100 --> 00:29:16,401 - Think it o-o-ver - Haven't I been sweet to you 452 00:29:16,505 --> 00:29:20,271 Stop in the name of love 453 00:29:20,375 --> 00:29:23,834 Before you break my heart 454 00:29:23,946 --> 00:29:27,576 Stop in the name of love 455 00:29:27,683 --> 00:29:30,778 Before you break my heart 456 00:29:30,886 --> 00:29:33,150 Think it o-o-ver 457 00:29:34,489 --> 00:29:36,391 Think it o-o-ver 458 00:29:36,391 --> 00:29:36,755 Think it o-o-ver 459 00:29:38,860 --> 00:29:43,491 The idea of a lesbian for me was some shadowy, evil thing. 460 00:29:43,598 --> 00:29:47,034 It was definitely tied to this idea of a perverse girl. 461 00:29:47,135 --> 00:29:49,832 1 didn't identify it at all with what I was. 462 00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:55,767 The purpose of this film is to give you an opportunity... 463 00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:59,905 to judge the emotional behavior of others. 464 00:30:00,015 --> 00:30:02,177 You will see these two people... 465 00:30:02,284 --> 00:30:05,743 reacting to stories they have been prepared to accept... 466 00:30:05,854 --> 00:30:07,515 as real happenings. 467 00:30:09,358 --> 00:30:11,884 I remember my best friend, Jennifer. 468 00:30:11,994 --> 00:30:14,986 She had really pretty, curly hair and she was my best friend... 469 00:30:15,097 --> 00:30:18,032 1 liked her a lot. But I'll never forget— 470 00:30:18,133 --> 00:30:19,999 rumors started flying around... 471 00:30:20,102 --> 00:30:22,298 about this public high school in the neighborhood. 472 00:30:22,404 --> 00:30:25,135 They were saying bulldaggers— I remember that word— 473 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:27,709 were just terrorizing the women in the school. 474 00:30:27,809 --> 00:30:29,641 No, now that I think back, I don't know... 475 00:30:29,745 --> 00:30:32,180 but I remember my mother even talking about it. 476 00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:33,475 Everybody knew about this. 477 00:30:33,582 --> 00:30:35,243 And what they would do is they'd hang out... 478 00:30:35,350 --> 00:30:36,909 in the girl's bathroom... 479 00:30:37,019 --> 00:30:38,953 and so the women who'd come in, you know, they'd attack them. 480 00:30:39,054 --> 00:30:40,783 And now that I think, this must have been bullshit. 481 00:30:40,889 --> 00:30:41,822 1t must have just been— 482 00:30:41,923 --> 00:30:44,290 but, you know, with broomsticks, the whole bit. 483 00:30:44,393 --> 00:30:46,862 And so of course my friend and I, Jennifer... 484 00:30:46,962 --> 00:30:48,726 we'd talk about it... 485 00:30:48,830 --> 00:30:51,356 and I was terrified because that word sounds so frightening. 486 00:30:51,466 --> 00:30:53,400 And I'll never forget... 487 00:30:53,502 --> 00:30:56,267 once we were in the bathroom alone together... 488 00:30:56,371 --> 00:30:57,930 and she said, “Well, what do you think of that?” 489 00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,599 and I said, “I don't know. It scares me.” 490 00:30:59,708 --> 00:31:01,870 And she said, “What do you think if we fucked?” 491 00:31:01,977 --> 00:31:04,344 And I looked at her and she said, “No, I'm just kidding”... 492 00:31:04,446 --> 00:31:05,607 and she kind of laughed. 493 00:31:05,714 --> 00:31:07,443 And I thought about that. It freaked me out... 494 00:31:07,549 --> 00:31:10,109 and I had to have been, like, maybe eleven or twelve. 495 00:31:10,218 --> 00:31:12,687 And I thought she had Just heard that word somewhere... 496 00:31:12,788 --> 00:31:14,222 and she was just using it... 497 00:31:14,322 --> 00:31:18,520 but then years later it turns out she's a lesbian. 498 00:31:18,627 --> 00:31:23,121 So maybe she was kind of coming to that awareness too at that point... 499 00:31:23,231 --> 00:31:25,256 I don't know. 500 00:31:25,367 --> 00:31:27,358 I thought that they were all bad... 501 00:31:27,469 --> 00:31:30,905 they all had terrible relationships. 502 00:31:31,006 --> 00:31:34,499 They beat each other up and they just wanna have sex. 503 00:31:34,609 --> 00:31:36,338 That's it. 504 00:31:36,445 --> 00:31:39,437 I don't know where I got that from, but somebody made me believe that. 505 00:31:41,116 --> 00:31:44,552 And I'd had a friend, probably all through grade school. 506 00:31:44,653 --> 00:31:47,816 We were really close friends from probably second grade on... 507 00:31:47,923 --> 00:31:51,951 and when I got to be... 508 00:31:52,060 --> 00:31:53,892 probably, around sixth grade... 509 00:31:53,995 --> 00:31:55,622 people started saying she was a lezzie... 510 00:31:55,730 --> 00:31:57,164 you know, “She's a lezzie. 511 00:31:57,265 --> 00:31:58,858 You don't want to hang out with her.” 512 00:31:58,967 --> 00:32:00,492 And it wasn't, I mean, she wasn't, she was very— 513 00:32:00,602 --> 00:32:04,300 Well, it turned out later she was, but at the time she wasn't... 514 00:32:04,406 --> 00:32:06,397 and she didn't understand it and we didn't understand it. 515 00:32:06,508 --> 00:32:09,808 It was just this feeling about her— she spent too much time with girls... 516 00:32:09,911 --> 00:32:11,675 she was very physical with girls. 517 00:32:11,780 --> 00:32:16,013 And I wound up actually not being friends with her for a while. 518 00:32:16,118 --> 00:32:20,680 I think it was attached to that. I think there was something about that. 519 00:32:22,524 --> 00:32:24,720 Oh, I really loved my childhood. 520 00:32:24,826 --> 00:32:28,353 [think the fact that I didn't know Iwas a lesbian... 521 00:32:28,463 --> 00:32:30,761 helped a lot to have fun. 522 00:32:30,866 --> 00:32:31,992 Ate a box of candy 523 00:32:32,100 --> 00:32:33,534 Three Dee 524 00:32:33,635 --> 00:32:36,263 Jumped out the window Now I know your're really crazy 525 00:32:36,371 --> 00:32:37,600 Fenie-meenie-siskaleenie 526 00:32:37,706 --> 00:32:39,140 Ooh, bop-bopaleenie 527 00:32:39,241 --> 00:32:41,767 Alchie-katchie-Liberace 1 love you 528 00:32:44,646 --> 00:32:47,741 I remember thinking that it must be an amazing thing... 529 00:32:47,849 --> 00:32:50,682 that either somebody has the freedom to deal with their body that way... 530 00:32:50,785 --> 00:32:53,379 orto play with other girls that way... 531 00:32:53,488 --> 00:32:55,855 in kind of this relatively innocent experimentation. 532 00:32:55,957 --> 00:32:59,416 [think it's good to have some kind of relationship... 533 00:32:59,528 --> 00:33:02,964 with your body and other people's bodies. 534 00:33:03,064 --> 00:33:05,999 And they were doing it when they were four and five and six and seven... 535 00:33:06,101 --> 00:33:07,728 and I was, like, I was starting to play around... 536 00:33:07,836 --> 00:33:11,067 when I was like eighteen, you know? 537 00:33:11,173 --> 00:33:14,507 I can't believe my mom is making me do all this! 538 00:33:14,609 --> 00:33:15,735 My brother is much worse than me... 539 00:33:15,844 --> 00:33:19,075 and all he ever has to do is take out the garbage. 540 00:33:19,181 --> 00:33:21,582 - That's the way it is with me and Jerome. - Yeah. 541 00:33:23,652 --> 00:33:25,882 God, these always get so tangled up! 542 00:33:25,987 --> 00:33:29,252 - Here, I'll help you. - Thanks. 543 00:33:31,426 --> 00:33:34,828 - Lizzie! Lou's here! - Okay! I'm in your room! 544 00:33:37,465 --> 00:33:39,263 Hi, Lizzie. Hi, Denise. 545 00:33:39,367 --> 00:33:41,199 - Hi, Lou. - Hi. 546 00:33:56,451 --> 00:33:59,785 - I found a magazine. - Under the mattress? Let me see! 547 00:33:59,888 --> 00:34:01,982 It's a Playboy! 548 00:34:05,293 --> 00:34:07,057 Maybe there's more. 549 00:34:09,497 --> 00:34:10,965 There is. 550 00:34:30,018 --> 00:34:32,680 I've never seen one of these before. 551 00:34:32,787 --> 00:34:34,551 Me neither. 552 00:34:34,656 --> 00:34:38,422 I just have to figure out ifI'm going to lie to you or not. 553 00:34:40,161 --> 00:34:43,597 No, no, no. I won't. I'll tell you the truth. 554 00:34:44,032 --> 00:34:46,763 I just might keep some of that truth to myself. 555 00:35:29,744 --> 00:35:32,770 There was a comic strip out... 556 00:35:32,881 --> 00:35:34,645 “Vampira” or something. 557 00:35:34,749 --> 00:35:37,775 So, really, the pictures I had when I was younger... 558 00:35:37,886 --> 00:35:42,881 were drawings of some voluptuous, seductive... 559 00:35:42,991 --> 00:35:46,621 bad vampire woman with the most incredible attitude. 560 00:35:46,728 --> 00:35:49,629 But she was just beautiful and she was really naked... 561 00:35:49,731 --> 00:35:51,825 and 1 had to have a picture of her. 562 00:35:51,933 --> 00:35:53,196 She was gorgeous. 563 00:35:53,301 --> 00:35:57,135 So I ripped the picture out of the magazine in the K&B... 564 00:35:57,238 --> 00:36:02,699 and I hid it and I would look at it all the time. 565 00:36:02,811 --> 00:36:04,905 1 would hide it in my jewelry box... 566 00:36:05,013 --> 00:36:08,745 because I figured nobody would ever go in my jewelry box. 567 00:36:08,850 --> 00:36:12,286 And one day my nosy mother went in my jewelry box... 568 00:36:12,387 --> 00:36:15,721 and found this picture and she woke me up— because I was asleep— 569 00:36:15,824 --> 00:36:18,657 She woke me up and she said, “Tracy, you just can't— What is this? 570 00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:20,990 This is the horrible sin of lust, 1 know it!” 571 00:36:21,096 --> 00:36:22,928 And I was like, “Oh, God. 572 00:36:23,031 --> 00:36:27,001 She's beautiful though. She's beautiful.” 573 00:36:27,001 --> 00:36:27,058 She's beautiful though. She's beautiful.” 574 00:36:31,005 --> 00:36:33,531 - Sorry. - That's okay. 575 00:36:33,641 --> 00:36:36,542 Now what was I saying? Oh, yes. 576 00:36:36,644 --> 00:36:39,341 His name is Mr. Perez. Anthony Perez. 577 00:36:39,447 --> 00:36:43,543 I've known him for almost three years, but we just decided a few weeks ago. 578 00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:49,188 - What's going on? - Miss Rivera's getting married. 579 00:36:49,290 --> 00:36:51,486 You can ask more questions later... 580 00:36:51,593 --> 00:36:53,960 but now we have to get on with the class. 581 00:36:54,062 --> 00:36:57,794 Last night, you were supposed to diagram ten sentences. 582 00:36:57,899 --> 00:36:59,890 I've written some new ones on the board for today. 583 00:37:00,001 --> 00:37:01,765 They're a bit more complicated. 584 00:37:01,870 --> 00:37:05,966 Who wants to come up and diagram the first one? 585 00:37:06,074 --> 00:37:07,098 Lou? 586 00:37:41,743 --> 00:37:42,767 Very good. 587 00:37:48,316 --> 00:37:50,683 I'm tired of arguing with you about this! 588 00:37:50,785 --> 00:37:54,244 I said no dating until you're sixteen and I meant it. 589 00:37:54,355 --> 00:37:57,416 Mom! That's not fair! It's not really a date, it's a party! 590 00:37:58,860 --> 00:38:02,524 Well, in that case, I'll drive you there and pick you up when it's over. 591 00:38:02,630 --> 00:38:06,191 Oh sure! And let all my friends know you treat me like a child? 592 00:38:08,069 --> 00:38:10,697 You are a child— And I don't like Billy. 593 00:38:10,805 --> 00:38:13,968 As far as I'm concerned, he only has one thing on his mind. 594 00:38:14,075 --> 00:38:17,739 You always say that! How do you know what he's thinking? 595 00:38:17,846 --> 00:38:21,407 Don't you talk to me in that tone of voice. 596 00:38:21,516 --> 00:38:22,745 Lou? 597 00:39:10,398 --> 00:39:13,663 - Anabelle, come back here. - No! Leave me alone! 598 00:39:13,768 --> 00:39:16,760 I hate you! I wish I was dead! 599 00:39:51,906 --> 00:39:53,772 I want to explain about Pat. 600 00:39:53,875 --> 00:39:55,343 She's not exactly like the other kids... 601 00:39:55,443 --> 00:39:57,912 and, well, I don't want you to get the wrong slant on her. 602 00:39:58,012 --> 00:40:00,174 Wrong slant? In what way, Mr. Kelly? 603 00:40:00,281 --> 00:40:03,046 Well, you see, her mother died when she was four years old... 604 00:40:03,151 --> 00:40:04,516 and I guess I kind of raised her like a boy. 605 00:40:04,619 --> 00:40:07,714 You know, around ball parks, locker rooms and hotels. 606 00:40:07,822 --> 00:40:09,620 It's pretty hard for a ball player to settle down. 607 00:40:09,724 --> 00:40:12,455 I don't know, when my niece was living with me... 608 00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:14,892 I did have an affair then with somebody... 609 00:40:14,996 --> 00:40:18,660 and she was very curious about this. 610 00:40:18,766 --> 00:40:21,235 And she saw me kissing that woman... 611 00:40:21,336 --> 00:40:25,330 and she commented on it... 612 00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:28,466 because the gender expectation already is set. 613 00:40:28,576 --> 00:40:30,510 - How old is she? - She's five. 614 00:40:30,612 --> 00:40:33,240 And she said, “Well, this is not a boy.” 615 00:40:33,348 --> 00:40:34,679 I said “No, it's not a boy.” 616 00:40:34,782 --> 00:40:38,377 And then she asked, “Well, is she a little bit a boy?” 617 00:40:38,486 --> 00:40:42,616 I said, “She's a little bit a boy.” 618 00:40:42,724 --> 00:40:46,524 She always told me, “I see, [ see.” 619 00:40:47,328 --> 00:40:49,422 Did you ever want to be a boy? 620 00:40:50,932 --> 00:40:54,869 No, I wanted to have a cock a couple of times but I never wanted to be a boy. 621 00:40:54,969 --> 00:40:58,496 No. No, I can't say that I ever wanted to be a boy. 622 00:40:58,606 --> 00:41:01,576 I mean, growing up 1 saw what boys went through... 623 00:41:01,676 --> 00:41:05,044 and what girls went through and to me it was equally just as silly... 624 00:41:05,146 --> 00:41:09,583 you know, the rites of passage that each one has to go through. 625 00:41:10,618 --> 00:41:14,486 I think when I was little I didn't really identify as being a girl or a boy... 626 00:41:14,589 --> 00:41:18,457 just kinda thought I was what I was and it wasn't either of those. 627 00:41:18,559 --> 00:41:24,623 I know I did not wake up in morning wanting to have a penis or... 628 00:41:24,732 --> 00:41:27,758 you know, for my voice to grow low at puberty... 629 00:41:27,869 --> 00:41:31,828 or, you know, to have hair all over my body. 630 00:41:31,939 --> 00:41:34,704 That was never a thing I wanted. 631 00:41:34,809 --> 00:41:38,905 Butt I definitely, definitely, definitely wanted things that boys had. 632 00:41:39,013 --> 00:41:41,573 You know, boys were treated better— and they still are. 633 00:41:41,683 --> 00:41:47,178 Nope. No, the women in my family were very strong figures... 634 00:41:47,288 --> 00:41:50,485 they were really happy to be women. 635 00:41:50,591 --> 00:41:53,652 They dolled me up a lot, you know, but I got lots of attention. 636 00:41:53,761 --> 00:41:56,492 It never kept me from being smart... 637 00:41:56,597 --> 00:41:59,157 it never kept me from being talented... 638 00:41:59,267 --> 00:42:01,497 I could still go fishing... 639 00:42:01,602 --> 00:42:03,730 I could do anything I wanted to and be a girl. 640 00:42:03,838 --> 00:42:05,602 1 didn't have to be a boy. 641 00:42:05,707 --> 00:42:10,008 Who wanted to be a boy? That wasn't necessary. 642 00:42:10,111 --> 00:42:13,513 No, I wanted to be a beautiful, elegant woman... 643 00:42:13,614 --> 00:42:16,345 like the ones from the French novels... 644 00:42:16,451 --> 00:42:20,979 who has a pocketbook that goes under the arm like this... 645 00:42:21,089 --> 00:42:23,956 like a big envelope, and a tight skirt... 646 00:42:24,058 --> 00:42:28,359 and very beautiful black pumps. 647 00:42:28,463 --> 00:42:33,025 I mean, I never managed, and I never really tried to fit that image... 648 00:42:33,134 --> 00:42:36,968 but in my fantasy that's what I would have liked to have been. 649 00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:40,701 Sometimes I would think of that, you know... 650 00:42:40,808 --> 00:42:43,709 wouldnt it be so nice to be a little boy... 651 00:42:43,811 --> 00:42:47,304 and carry a little girl's books home from school? 652 00:42:47,415 --> 00:42:50,043 There was something I had heard when I was really young... 653 00:42:50,151 --> 00:42:54,349 that ifyou could put your mouth on your elbow you could become a little boy. 654 00:42:54,455 --> 00:42:57,652 I remember somebody telling me that and I remember going to bed at night... 655 00:42:57,759 --> 00:42:59,227 and trying to do that— 656 00:42:59,327 --> 00:43:04,265 put my mouth on my elbow so I could have all these girls for girlfriends. 657 00:43:07,034 --> 00:43:10,299 Cindy! Come on in, Cindy! 658 00:43:10,404 --> 00:43:12,736 Guess we'll have to finish the game tomorrow afternoon. 659 00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,775 Tomorrow? I'm going to Mary's party tomorrow, aren't you? 660 00:43:15,877 --> 00:43:18,346 A party? Why, I didn't even— 661 00:43:18,446 --> 00:43:21,575 No, I don't like parties. I never have any fun at parties. 662 00:43:21,682 --> 00:43:22,979 I was kinda hoping you'd go. 663 00:43:23,084 --> 00:43:25,348 Parties are more fun when all your friends are there. 664 00:43:25,453 --> 00:43:27,888 - Cindy! - Well, I'd better go. 665 00:43:27,989 --> 00:43:29,855 I'll see ya. Here's your ball. 666 00:43:50,745 --> 00:43:53,237 - Hey! Wanna do a séance? - Sure! 667 00:43:53,347 --> 00:43:55,782 Can you grab this? Help me get the table over. 668 00:43:55,883 --> 00:43:57,612 I'll help you. 669 00:43:59,153 --> 00:44:01,645 All right, guys. You gotta really concentrate on the story, okay? 670 00:44:02,857 --> 00:44:06,555 Once there was a little girl and she went to the carnival to meet her friends. 671 00:44:06,661 --> 00:44:08,425 She went to meet them at the fun house. 672 00:44:08,529 --> 00:44:10,725 So she waited there for about two hours... 673 00:44:10,832 --> 00:44:13,062 and they still didn't show up. 674 00:44:13,167 --> 00:44:15,465 So, she decided, “Well, since they're not here yet... 675 00:44:15,570 --> 00:44:18,540 I think I'll go enjoy myself and go on some rides.” 676 00:44:18,639 --> 00:44:21,802 So, she went on the Ferris wheel, and when she came down... 677 00:44:21,909 --> 00:44:24,241 a guy asked her what she was doing here. 678 00:44:24,345 --> 00:44:25,813 And she said— 679 00:44:25,913 --> 00:44:28,382 The cantor's daughter at synagogue. 680 00:44:28,482 --> 00:44:30,541 The cantor's daughter, Lisa Avery. 681 00:44:30,651 --> 00:44:35,054 1 think I was seven and she must have been seven or eight years older thar I was. 682 00:44:35,156 --> 00:44:37,420 And she was just heaven to me. 683 00:44:37,525 --> 00:44:41,223 I went to synagogue— my family went to synagogue every Saturday. 684 00:44:41,329 --> 00:44:43,889 And I was one of the more dutiful ones. 685 00:44:43,998 --> 00:44:47,593 And part of why 1 always went was to see Lisa Avery. 686 00:44:47,702 --> 00:44:49,295 Absolutely. 687 00:44:49,403 --> 00:44:54,307 And to smell her, because she always wore 'Love's Baby Soft', the lemon. 688 00:44:54,408 --> 00:44:56,570 Awful stuff! I loved it. 689 00:44:56,677 --> 00:44:58,406 I mean, I knew she was around. 690 00:44:58,512 --> 00:45:01,379 And she had this way of saying her “Ss. 691 00:45:01,482 --> 00:45:03,473 She whistled her “Ss... 692 00:45:03,584 --> 00:45:06,485 so I really could hear her across the room. 693 00:45:06,587 --> 00:45:09,022 ...and all the mirrors broke. 694 00:45:09,123 --> 00:45:12,957 She ran out, and everyone who was at the carnival had disappeared... 695 00:45:13,060 --> 00:45:15,961 so she was all by herself. 696 00:45:16,063 --> 00:45:20,261 And the guy came up behind her and he slit her throat. 697 00:45:20,368 --> 00:45:22,564 - Light as a feather. - Light as a feather. 698 00:45:26,807 --> 00:45:28,775 - Stiff as a board. - Stiff as a board. 699 00:45:33,915 --> 00:45:36,111 Light as a feather, stiff as a board. 700 00:45:51,832 --> 00:45:55,496 I was a wild— I was a wild kid when I was younger. 701 00:45:55,603 --> 00:45:58,470 Like, how young were you? 702 00:45:58,572 --> 00:46:00,006 well, I remember the first time... 703 00:46:00,107 --> 00:46:01,336 well, before my mother died. 704 00:46:01,442 --> 00:46:03,001 My mother died when I was seven, but I remember her... 705 00:46:03,110 --> 00:46:06,410 once giving me a real serious ass whipping... 706 00:46:06,514 --> 00:46:10,041 for some sexual things 1 had been found doing. 707 00:46:10,151 --> 00:46:13,280 So I guess it started before that. 708 00:46:13,387 --> 00:46:16,049 Did she catch you or did she hear about them? 709 00:46:16,157 --> 00:46:18,751 [think the first couple of times she heard about them... 710 00:46:18,859 --> 00:46:20,293 and then she came upon me... 711 00:46:20,394 --> 00:46:22,590 so then she knew that everything she'd heard that I'd said. 712 00:46:22,697 --> 00:46:26,292 “Oh, no, that wasn't happening,” she realized it was true. 713 00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:29,426 So she wasn't very happy about it. 714 00:46:29,537 --> 00:46:30,800 I don't know why, because I learned later that... 715 00:46:30,905 --> 00:46:32,999 she used to do those kinds of things too. 716 00:46:33,107 --> 00:46:35,838 In fact, it's been my experience that almost everyone does these things. 717 00:46:35,943 --> 00:46:38,878 It's just, you just don't talk about it. 718 00:46:38,980 --> 00:46:39,013 - Want me to doit to you? - And I'm the tenth one. You don't go. 719 00:46:39,013 --> 00:46:42,950 - Want me to doit to you? - And I'm the tenth one. You don't go. 720 00:46:44,051 --> 00:46:45,917 One, two, three, four, five— Okay. 721 00:46:47,355 --> 00:46:49,847 Want me to do it to you? 722 00:46:49,957 --> 00:46:51,789 - And hold it. - Want me to doit to you? 723 00:46:51,892 --> 00:46:55,328 Okay. You'd better catch me. 724 00:46:55,429 --> 00:46:56,794 - Catch me. Please, catch me. - f will 1 will, 725 00:46:59,300 --> 00:47:01,200 - Faker. - Yes, she is. 726 00:47:01,302 --> 00:47:03,737 - Yes, she is. - She's faking. 727 00:47:06,007 --> 00:47:07,805 - She was faking. - She's a faker! 728 00:47:07,908 --> 00:47:09,933 - That hurts! - You're a faker. 729 00:47:10,044 --> 00:47:12,570 - Did you really do it? - Let's try it once more. 730 00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:13,909 - Last time. - It really hurts. 731 00:47:14,015 --> 00:47:16,382 It feels like when you blow a balloon up. 732 00:47:16,484 --> 00:47:19,545 - You have to hit it right here. - It doesn't work. 733 00:47:19,653 --> 00:47:21,143 One, two, three. 734 00:47:22,390 --> 00:47:23,983 Tell me when to close it. 735 00:47:29,697 --> 00:47:32,962 - Hold it? - One, two and... 736 00:47:33,067 --> 00:47:34,728 hold it. 737 00:47:39,774 --> 00:47:41,469 Your face is all red. 738 00:47:41,575 --> 00:47:43,543 It looks like you got a big thing of blush on. 739 00:47:43,644 --> 00:47:45,510 Hello? 740 00:47:46,847 --> 00:47:49,145 Are you awake? 741 00:47:49,250 --> 00:47:50,809 It's really bad. 742 00:47:54,722 --> 00:47:56,520 - Did you do it to me just now? - Do what? 743 00:47:56,624 --> 00:47:59,252 Make sure you wake me up if don't wake up. 744 00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:01,522 Oh, my God! I had this whole dream and you were saying... 745 00:48:01,629 --> 00:48:05,065 that you couldn't do it to me anymore, and then I was like... 746 00:48:05,166 --> 00:48:07,965 I don't event remember anything from that point. 747 00:48:08,069 --> 00:48:10,697 I really did black out. I wasn't faking. 748 00:48:10,805 --> 00:48:13,172 Hey. 749 00:48:13,274 --> 00:48:14,833 One. 750 00:48:31,525 --> 00:48:33,357 Oh, my God! 751 00:48:36,163 --> 00:48:39,326 - Her lips are trembling. - Are you okay? 752 00:48:39,433 --> 00:48:42,892 Before we moved to Long Beach I lived in Canarsie... 753 00:48:43,003 --> 00:48:45,335 and there was a little girl.... 754 00:48:45,439 --> 00:48:49,342 and we used to tie each other up— like, you know... 755 00:48:49,443 --> 00:48:51,969 arms spread out and feet spread out... 756 00:48:52,079 --> 00:48:57,279 and lie on top of each other and kiss and kind of do role playing stuff. 757 00:48:57,384 --> 00:49:02,379 Like one of us was the bad guy and one was the good guy... 758 00:49:02,490 --> 00:49:06,256 But one time she was tied up on the bed... 759 00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:07,521 and I was standing on the bed over her... 760 00:49:07,628 --> 00:49:10,654 and we were both naked and her mother walked in the room... 761 00:49:10,764 --> 00:49:13,859 and freaked out... 762 00:49:13,968 --> 00:49:17,063 Just totally started screaming. 763 00:49:17,171 --> 00:49:18,502 I was never so scared, 764 00:49:18,606 --> 00:49:21,337 I was so scared, you know... 765 00:49:21,442 --> 00:49:23,638 running around trying to get my clothes... 766 00:49:23,744 --> 00:49:27,442 and she's screaming and untying her daughter. 767 00:49:27,548 --> 00:49:30,176 And I didn't see her again. That was it. 768 00:49:30,284 --> 00:49:32,753 I wasn't allowed over her house anymore. 769 00:49:32,853 --> 00:49:35,845 And I think that she told my mother, too. 770 00:49:35,956 --> 00:49:37,685 Oh, look at that dress! 771 00:49:37,791 --> 00:49:40,260 I like that one better. 772 00:49:40,361 --> 00:49:41,954 My mom said I could buy a dress. 773 00:49:42,062 --> 00:49:43,928 Everyone's gonna love it. 774 00:49:44,031 --> 00:49:45,499 How are you gonna get the $35.00? 775 00:49:45,599 --> 00:49:48,261 Think your mom'll let you? 776 00:49:49,970 --> 00:49:50,994 - 1 love this. - Look at that! 777 00:49:51,105 --> 00:49:53,938 You have to pick a card too. 778 00:49:54,041 --> 00:49:55,975 I did. I picked one. 779 00:49:56,076 --> 00:49:59,376 - Oh. - She didn't like it. 780 00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:01,676 No. You don't like those cards. 781 00:50:02,816 --> 00:50:05,251 Look at these watches. 782 00:50:05,352 --> 00:50:09,448 - Look at that watch. - I know— with the flowers on it. 783 00:50:09,557 --> 00:50:11,116 It's pretty. 784 00:50:12,993 --> 00:50:17,089 It's my turn? Okay. 785 00:50:17,198 --> 00:50:19,189 Maureen, truth or dare? 786 00:50:19,300 --> 00:50:20,734 Truth. 787 00:50:20,834 --> 00:50:24,395 Have you ever kissed a boy besides your father? 788 00:50:25,806 --> 00:50:28,400 - Yeah. - Who? Who was it? 789 00:50:28,509 --> 00:50:29,908 - I'm not telling. - Come on. Tell us. 790 00:50:30,010 --> 00:50:32,479 We won't tell anybody. Come on. 791 00:50:32,580 --> 00:50:34,139 - Nope. - Fine. 792 00:50:34,248 --> 00:50:38,515 - Lizzie? - Okay. Betsy. 793 00:50:38,619 --> 00:50:40,849 - Truth or dare? - Truth. 794 00:50:40,955 --> 00:50:43,788 What boy do you have a secret crush on? 795 00:50:43,891 --> 00:50:45,290 Eric Renaldi. 796 00:50:47,795 --> 00:50:49,194 - He's so ugly! - He's cute! 797 00:50:49,296 --> 00:50:52,823 - Yes, heiis. - No, he's not. 798 00:50:52,933 --> 00:50:54,560 Well, he's cuter than all the other boys! 799 00:50:55,402 --> 00:50:57,234 He's cute! 800 00:50:57,338 --> 00:51:00,740 - Maureen, it's your turn. - Okay. 801 00:51:00,841 --> 00:51:02,900 Lou, truth or dare? 802 00:51:03,711 --> 00:51:05,110 Truth! 803 00:51:05,212 --> 00:51:08,739 Is it true that you've already gotten your period? 804 00:51:11,151 --> 00:51:12,915 No. 805 00:51:17,992 --> 00:51:21,018 I would mostly pick poems out of 806 00:51:21,128 --> 00:51:26,123 just pick them at random out of collections and memorize them. 807 00:51:26,233 --> 00:51:27,928 There was one that I remember: 808 00:51:28,035 --> 00:51:31,005 “I met a girl the other day, some twelve years old or so... 809 00:51:31,105 --> 00:51:33,767 the image of a nymph I loved some twenty years ago.” 810 00:51:33,874 --> 00:51:39,244 And it goes on to describe the sparkling eyes, the raven hair of this beautiful girl. 811 00:51:39,346 --> 00:51:40,905 And the [ast line is: 812 00:51:41,015 --> 00:51:44,781 “Much like my perfect Mary was some twenty years ago.” 813 00:51:44,885 --> 00:51:47,013 I don't know why I picked it. 814 00:51:50,891 --> 00:51:54,020 And I think I went through a period of time trying to look for the lesbian bits... 815 00:51:56,096 --> 00:51:58,497 and then kind of realized that that wasn't a narrative... 816 00:51:58,599 --> 00:52:02,433 I could really impose on those years... 817 00:52:02,536 --> 00:52:04,436 ‘cause those years were more about— 818 00:52:04,538 --> 00:52:08,497 Well, especially when I was 12 to 18, just holding it together... 819 00:52:08,609 --> 00:52:11,306 or realizing that I was one thing and feeling like I was one thing... 820 00:52:11,412 --> 00:52:15,212 but knowing that I was moving through this whole world that I wasn't a part of. 821 00:52:22,456 --> 00:52:24,948 God, I really, really wanna make the cheerleading squad. 822 00:52:25,059 --> 00:52:27,960 - Canyou doa flip? - I can do a cartwheel. 823 00:52:36,203 --> 00:52:38,331 Look, you guys! The penguins! 824 00:52:45,946 --> 00:52:48,972 Look at that fat one. He reminds me of the principal. 825 00:52:51,285 --> 00:52:52,844 Betsy, guess what? 826 00:52:52,953 --> 00:52:55,183 I'm going to my aunt's house Saturday to get my ears pierced. 827 00:52:55,289 --> 00:52:58,589 You're so lucky! I want to get mine pierced too! 828 00:52:58,692 --> 00:53:01,559 - You should come with me. - My mom won't let me. 829 00:53:01,662 --> 00:53:03,289 You could talk her into iit! 830 00:53:03,397 --> 00:53:07,925 I tried to, but she said I had to wait until I was twenty-one. 831 00:53:08,669 --> 00:53:11,866 - What kind of earrings did you get? - Well, you have to wear real gold at first... 832 00:53:11,972 --> 00:53:14,532 or you get an infection, so my aunt is giving me a pair— 833 00:53:14,641 --> 00:53:16,837 Did you know that eskimos kiss with their noses? 834 00:53:16,944 --> 00:53:18,241 Everybody knows that. 835 00:53:18,345 --> 00:53:21,246 I didn't. Does it feel good? 836 00:53:22,015 --> 00:53:23,744 Let's see! 837 00:53:27,488 --> 00:53:29,547 You guys are so queer! 838 00:53:50,577 --> 00:53:53,342 And she had these diamond earrings... 839 00:53:53,447 --> 00:53:55,347 and she had little curls and white satin shoes. 840 00:53:55,449 --> 00:53:57,577 I'm going to live in Africa when I grow up. 841 00:53:57,684 --> 00:54:01,120 You are not! Who ever heard of living in Africa? 842 00:54:01,221 --> 00:54:02,484 Some people do that. 843 00:54:02,589 --> 00:54:04,887 - We saw a movie about it. - Yeah. 844 00:54:04,992 --> 00:54:07,290 I'm going to the part where there are lots of wild animals... 845 00:54:07,394 --> 00:54:10,261 and I'm going to live in a tent and have a baby monkey as a pet. 846 00:54:10,364 --> 00:54:13,390 Well, I'm going to be a famous movie star... 847 00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:17,596 and eat out in a restaurant every night and have a floor-length mink coat. 848 00:54:18,872 --> 00:54:23,105 And, anyway, what are you gonna do there— just talk to your pet monkey? 849 00:54:23,210 --> 00:54:26,043 I'll be a veterinarian and take care of the animals. 850 00:54:26,146 --> 00:54:28,774 Typical. You always want to do what boys do! 851 00:54:28,882 --> 00:54:31,908 And all you ever think about is boys. 852 00:54:33,287 --> 00:54:35,756 Let's go to the cafeteria. I want to get a milk shake. 853 00:54:45,299 --> 00:54:47,666 But, Lou, you can't go to Africa. 854 00:54:47,768 --> 00:54:49,827 Why not? What do you care? 855 00:54:49,937 --> 00:54:51,803 I thought we were always going to be friends... 856 00:54:51,905 --> 00:54:54,397 and when we got married we'd live next door to each other... 857 00:54:54,508 --> 00:54:56,704 and then all our kids would be best friends just like we are. 858 00:54:58,178 --> 00:55:02,843 - Well, I changed my mind. - Why? You never told me! 859 00:55:02,950 --> 00:55:04,440 Come on. let's go to the cafeteria. 860 00:55:04,551 --> 00:55:06,315 See! All you care about is Maureen! 861 00:55:06,420 --> 00:55:09,219 That's not true and you know it! 862 00:55:09,323 --> 00:55:11,849 Then why can't we go there together? 863 00:55:11,959 --> 00:55:14,223 "Cause Africa is too far away! 864 00:55:14,328 --> 00:55:16,353 I want to live here, with you and my friends. 865 00:55:16,463 --> 00:55:19,728 You just want to stay here sO you can be with glamorous Maureen! 866 00:55:19,833 --> 00:55:22,825 No, I don't, but she's my friend, too! 867 00:55:22,936 --> 00:55:26,804 Well, if she's your friend then I'm not! 868 00:55:32,713 --> 00:55:34,909 I'm going to get a hot dog. 869 00:55:41,121 --> 00:55:43,317 King of the Road 870 00:55:43,423 --> 00:55:47,985 I know every engineer on every train 871 00:55:48,095 --> 00:55:51,656 All of their children All of their names 872 00:55:51,765 --> 00:55:55,668 And every handout in every town 873 00:55:55,769 --> 00:55:58,397 Every lock that ain't locked when no one's around 874 00:55:58,505 --> 00:56:03,807 Ising Trailers for sale or rent 875 00:56:03,911 --> 00:56:07,677 Rooms to fet, fifty cents 876 00:56:07,781 --> 00:56:11,081 No phone, no pool, no pets 877 00:56:11,184 --> 00:56:14,051 In case you didn't notice, it's not summer anymore. 878 00:56:14,154 --> 00:56:15,178 What do you mean? 879 00:56:15,289 --> 00:56:18,589 Well, nobody can see your toenails when you have your shoes on. 880 00:56:19,793 --> 00:56:22,524 I know that, but I'm going to a party tomorrow night. 881 00:56:22,629 --> 00:56:24,393 Are you going barefoot? 882 00:56:24,498 --> 00:56:26,398 No. 883 00:56:27,968 --> 00:56:30,596 King of the Road 884 00:56:33,373 --> 00:56:35,398 Oh, I love this song! 885 00:56:39,346 --> 00:56:42,976 Every night I hope and pray 886 00:56:43,083 --> 00:56:46,144 A dream lover will come my way 887 00:56:46,253 --> 00:56:50,156 A girl to hold in my arms 888 00:56:50,257 --> 00:56:52,851 Show the magic of her charms 889 00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:55,019 Because I want 890 00:56:55,128 --> 00:56:56,892 A girl 891 00:56:56,997 --> 00:56:58,726 To call 892 00:56:58,832 --> 00:57:00,197 My own 893 00:57:00,300 --> 00:57:02,598 I want a dream lover 894 00:57:02,703 --> 00:57:06,298 so I don't have to dream alone 895 00:57:08,742 --> 00:57:10,232 ♪ felt so good, 896 00:57:10,344 --> 00:57:13,279 And it was a very strong drive. 897 00:57:13,380 --> 00:57:14,973 And then when I was about six... 898 00:57:15,082 --> 00:57:16,550 my mother told me that it was wrong... 899 00:57:16,650 --> 00:57:19,676 and she told me never to do that again. 900 00:57:19,786 --> 00:57:21,811 couldn't understand what I'd done. 901 00:57:21,922 --> 00:57:23,151 “But what? Do what?” 902 00:57:23,256 --> 00:57:27,750 And she said, “That is bad. That's bad.” 903 00:57:27,861 --> 00:57:31,695 And I think that's when I started realizing that my body was something... 904 00:57:31,798 --> 00:57:33,732 apart from what I thought it had been— 905 00:57:33,834 --> 00:57:34,926 that it was separate. 906 00:57:35,035 --> 00:57:39,370 Because I do remember a feeling of not being separate. 907 00:57:39,473 --> 00:57:41,737 And I split. 908 00:57:41,842 --> 00:57:46,245 But I still continued. I mean, it took on a different connotation... 909 00:57:46,346 --> 00:57:46,580 but myself and Patricia and Geraldine and Marion continued. 910 00:57:46,580 --> 00:57:50,574 but myself and Patricia and Geraldine and Marion continued. 911 00:57:58,158 --> 00:58:00,286 I need love, love 912 00:58:00,394 --> 00:58:02,328 To ease my mind 913 00:58:02,429 --> 00:58:04,557 I need to find, find 914 00:58:04,665 --> 00:58:06,394 Someone to call mine 915 00:58:06,500 --> 00:58:08,127 But mama said 916 00:58:08,235 --> 00:58:09,464 You can't hurry love 917 00:58:09,569 --> 00:58:12,300 No, you just have to wait 918 00:58:12,406 --> 00:58:15,341 She said love don't come easy 919 00:58:15,442 --> 00:58:17,501 1t's a game of give and take 920 00:58:17,611 --> 00:58:19,409 You can't hurry love 921 00:58:19,513 --> 00:58:22,414 No, you just have to wait 922 00:58:22,516 --> 00:58:25,315 You gotta trust, give it time 923 00:58:25,419 --> 00:58:27,410 No matter how, long it takes 924 00:58:27,521 --> 00:58:31,981 But how many heartaches must I stand 925 00:58:32,092 --> 00:58:36,859 Before I find a love to let me live again 926 00:58:36,963 --> 00:58:39,364 Right now the only thing 927 00:58:39,466 --> 00:58:42,060 That keeps me hangin' on 928 00:58:42,169 --> 00:58:44,729 When I feel my strength 929 00:58:44,838 --> 00:58:46,203 Yeah, it's almost gone 930 00:58:46,306 --> 00:58:47,933 I remember mama said 931 00:58:48,041 --> 00:58:49,839 - You can't hurry love - No 932 00:58:49,943 --> 00:58:51,968 You just have to wait 933 00:58:52,079 --> 00:58:55,105 She said love don't come easy 934 00:58:55,215 --> 00:58:57,343 1t's a game of give and take 935 00:58:57,451 --> 00:58:59,385 How long must I wait 936 00:58:59,486 --> 00:59:02,080 How much more can I take 937 00:59:02,189 --> 00:59:04,681 Before loneliness 938 00:59:04,791 --> 00:59:07,522 Will cause my heart to break 939 00:59:07,627 --> 00:59:11,564 No, I can't bear to live my life alone 940 00:59:11,665 --> 00:59:14,396 1 grow impatient for a love 941 00:59:14,501 --> 00:59:16,526 To call my own 942 00:59:16,636 --> 00:59:18,900 But when I feel that I 943 00:59:19,005 --> 00:59:22,100 Ican't goon 944 00:59:22,209 --> 00:59:25,839 These precious words keep me hangin' on 945 00:59:25,946 --> 00:59:28,506 - 1 remember mama said - You can't hurry love 946 00:59:28,615 --> 00:59:31,676 No, you just have to wait 947 00:59:31,785 --> 00:59:34,652 She said love don't come easy 948 00:59:34,755 --> 00:59:37,417 1t's a game of give and take 949 00:59:37,524 --> 00:59:38,821 You can't hurry love 950 00:59:38,925 --> 00:59:41,895 No, you just have to wait 951 00:59:41,995 --> 00:59:44,555 She said trust, give it time 952 00:59:44,664 --> 00:59:47,258 No matter how, long it takes 953 00:59:49,169 --> 00:59:51,570 No, love, love 954 00:59:51,671 --> 00:59:54,163 Don't come easy 955 00:59:54,274 --> 00:59:57,073 But I keep on waitin' 956 00:59:57,177 --> 00:59:58,872 Anticipatin' 957 00:59:58,979 --> 01:00:03,917 For that soft voice to talk to me at night 958 01:00:04,017 --> 01:00:06,611 For some tender arms 959 01:00:06,720 --> 01:00:08,814 To hold me tight 960 01:00:08,922 --> 01:00:11,254 I keep waitin' 961 01:00:11,358 --> 01:00:13,827 - / keep on waitin' - Until that day 962 01:00:13,927 --> 01:00:16,396 But it ain't easy 963 01:00:16,496 --> 01:00:17,861 It ain't easy 964 01:00:17,964 --> 01:00:18,931 But mama said 965 01:00:19,032 --> 01:00:20,830 You can't hurry love 966 01:00:20,934 --> 01:00:23,562 No, you just have to wait 967 01:00:23,670 --> 01:00:26,230 She said trust, give it time 968 01:00:26,339 --> 01:00:28,774 No matter how long it takes 969 01:00:28,875 --> 01:00:30,570 You can't hurry love 970 01:00:30,677 --> 01:00:32,975 No, you just have to wait 970 01:00:33,305 --> 01:01:33,947 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm