"Wait Till Your Father Gets Home" Help Wanted

1 00:00:01,900 --> 00:00:03,651 I know, I know. You're hiring, right? 2 00:00:03,851 --> 00:00:05,768 And I've got just the man for you. 3 00:00:05,968 --> 00:00:07,077 Eddie! 4 00:00:07,900 --> 00:00:09,660 Harry, I want you to meet Eddie James. 5 00:00:09,860 --> 00:00:12,366 He's a platoon Sergeant, Company B of the vigilantes. 6 00:00:12,566 --> 00:00:15,135 - Hi. <i>- Eddie's a top marksman.</i> 7 00:00:15,335 --> 00:00:16,762 <i>You should have seen how he riddled the target</i> 8 00:00:16,962 --> 00:00:18,420 <i>of Ho Chi Minh at target practice last night.</i> 9 00:00:18,620 --> 00:00:20,605 Four big ones right between his beady eyes. 10 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,751 Bang, one right in the goatee. 11 00:00:23,334 --> 00:00:25,390 That's all very nice, fellas, but if you don't mind... 12 00:00:25,820 --> 00:00:28,055 Harry, you don't understand. Your troubles are over. 13 00:00:28,255 --> 00:00:31,684 - Eddie's available for that job. - I don't think... 14 00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:33,068 He's perfect. 15 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:40,018 <i>I love my mom and dad and my brothers too.</i> 16 00:00:40,218 --> 00:00:43,080 <i>And the groovy way we get along.</i> 17 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:46,864 <i>Every time the slightest little thing goes wrong,</i> 18 00:00:47,064 --> 00:00:50,012 <i>my mom starts to sing this familiar song.</i> 19 00:00:50,212 --> 00:00:53,723 <i>Wait till your father gets Until your father gets.</i> 20 00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:55,910 <i>Wait till your father gets home.</i> 21 00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:00,588 <i>Dad's not so bad and he seldom gets mad.</i> 22 00:01:00,788 --> 00:01:03,569 <i>And we aren't about to desert him.</i> 23 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:07,343 <i>Kids today like to have their own way.</i> 24 00:01:07,543 --> 00:01:10,227 <i>And what Daddy doesn't know won't hurt him.</i> 25 00:01:10,427 --> 00:01:12,408 <i>I think my mom's just swell.</i> 26 00:01:12,608 --> 00:01:17,152 <i>- But she starts to yell. - Every time we have a fuss.</i> 27 00:01:17,352 --> 00:01:21,016 <i>Just wait till your father gets. Until your father gets.</i> 28 00:01:21,216 --> 00:01:23,164 <i>Wait till your father gets home.</i> 29 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:24,494 <i>See what I mean?</i> 30 00:01:24,694 --> 00:01:27,190 <i>Wait till your father gets home.</i> 31 00:01:27,390 --> 00:01:29,098 <i>We know.</i> 32 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:37,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 33 00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:45,293 Is Abe back with the truck yet? 34 00:01:45,493 --> 00:01:48,436 No, Harry. He left on his last delivery two hours ago. 35 00:01:48,636 --> 00:01:50,431 He shouldn't be much... 36 00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:53,791 Abe is back. 37 00:01:53,991 --> 00:01:56,583 The only way he knows how to stop a truck is with a wall. 38 00:01:59,020 --> 00:02:02,264 Not so bad, Harry. This time the fender didn't even curl. 39 00:02:02,464 --> 00:02:04,494 - Lucky me. - I'm sorry, Harry. 40 00:02:04,694 --> 00:02:06,564 I'm just running into a streak of bad luck. 41 00:02:06,764 --> 00:02:10,172 Oh, by the way, here's a ticket I got this afternoon. 42 00:02:10,372 --> 00:02:12,948 Believe me, it wasn't my fault. 43 00:02:13,148 --> 00:02:16,297 The letters on the one-way street sign were so small. 44 00:02:16,497 --> 00:02:18,073 Another ticket? 45 00:02:18,273 --> 00:02:22,259 I hear the police have a citation pad now with your name printed on it. 46 00:02:22,459 --> 00:02:24,146 All they have to do is fill in the date. 47 00:02:24,346 --> 00:02:25,713 Don't worry. I'll be all right. 48 00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:29,842 The eye doctor says that with new glasses, my vision will be 50/50. 49 00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:32,636 Abe, come into the office in a minute, huh, 50 00:02:32,836 --> 00:02:34,004 I want to talk to you. 51 00:02:36,540 --> 00:02:37,705 You can leave now, Betsy. 52 00:02:38,321 --> 00:02:40,241 The Red Baron has returned from another mission. 53 00:02:41,020 --> 00:02:42,354 <i>Sit down, Abe.</i> 54 00:02:43,485 --> 00:02:45,130 <i>Abe, you're close to 70.</i> 55 00:02:45,330 --> 00:02:49,100 <i>Don't you think it's time you, uh.. well, retired?</i> 56 00:02:49,660 --> 00:02:51,740 But a man has to have something to do. 57 00:02:51,900 --> 00:02:53,980 Yes, but not wreck my trucks. 58 00:02:54,780 --> 00:02:56,820 Look, you've worked hard all your life. 59 00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:59,876 You deserve to enjoy the rest of your years. 60 00:03:00,076 --> 00:03:01,088 I'm enjoying. 61 00:03:01,288 --> 00:03:02,845 And think of all the benefits if you retire. 62 00:03:03,045 --> 00:03:05,443 You've got social security, your pension, 63 00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,881 health and welfare benefits, Medicare. 64 00:03:08,380 --> 00:03:11,289 Maybe I should quit working. I can use the extra money. 65 00:03:11,489 --> 00:03:12,903 Besides, Mona's been saying, 66 00:03:13,103 --> 00:03:15,021 <i>let's take a trip and see the country.</i> 67 00:03:15,380 --> 00:03:17,171 - You're not going to drive, are you? - I can't. 68 00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:19,725 My car's in the body and fender shop. 69 00:03:21,820 --> 00:03:24,260 Sure hater to let Abe Finkel go. 70 00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:27,136 You're not going to let an Abe Finkel upset you, are you? 71 00:03:28,118 --> 00:03:30,514 You know, the quicker we get them Moscow lovers out of the industry, 72 00:03:30,714 --> 00:03:31,838 the safer this country's going to be. 73 00:03:32,038 --> 00:03:34,668 - What are you talking about, Ralph? - Oh, wise, don't you read? 74 00:03:34,868 --> 00:03:36,540 It's a big pinko plot. 75 00:03:36,580 --> 00:03:38,788 The Jews, the coloreds the Mexicans have gotten together with the Japanese, 76 00:03:39,060 --> 00:03:41,680 the Poles, the Greeks, the Italians, along with the Catholics and the unions. 77 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,060 They're out to divide and conquer. 78 00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:45,243 Divide and conquer what? 79 00:03:45,443 --> 00:03:47,778 You covered everyone but six Indians in Oklahoma. 80 00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,188 They're in on too. 81 00:03:49,388 --> 00:03:51,291 Today you took a big step towards saving the country. 82 00:03:51,491 --> 00:03:53,056 By firing Abe Finkel? 83 00:03:53,256 --> 00:03:54,848 He's a threat to the USA. 84 00:03:55,622 --> 00:03:57,927 Only when he's driving that truck. 85 00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:01,379 Oh, good riddance, I say. Now you can hire one of our kind. 86 00:04:01,579 --> 00:04:04,573 A good white patriotic Northern Union American. 87 00:04:07,020 --> 00:04:10,418 You fired Abe Finkel after all these years? 88 00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:11,326 Listen, Irma. 89 00:04:11,526 --> 00:04:14,033 Papa, I think I detect a tinge of subconscious 90 00:04:14,233 --> 00:04:16,060 anti-Semitism in your actions. 91 00:04:16,220 --> 00:04:21,295 Anti-Semitism? I kept him for five years past his retirement age. 92 00:04:21,660 --> 00:04:24,358 <i>I loaded his truck for him every day so he wouldn't have to carry.</i> 93 00:04:24,558 --> 00:04:28,132 I paid him for overtime he didn't do, fat Christmas bonuses, 94 00:04:28,332 --> 00:04:32,365 and his six-week vacations when I get only two. Anti-Semitic? 95 00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,967 Golda Meir couldn't have done more for him. 96 00:04:36,045 --> 00:04:37,984 Are we gonna have dinner or aren't we? 97 00:04:38,184 --> 00:04:39,731 Coming right up. 98 00:04:41,020 --> 00:04:42,473 Poor Abe Finkel. 99 00:04:42,673 --> 00:04:46,488 - Yeah, after all these years. - What is this? 100 00:04:46,780 --> 00:04:49,579 All of a sudden I'm a defender to the Nuremberg trials. 101 00:04:50,218 --> 00:04:53,926 Chet, I was wondering if you'd like to do a little temporary job. 102 00:04:54,126 --> 00:04:55,617 Job? 103 00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:57,700 Oh, I'm sorry, did I upset your system? 104 00:04:57,740 --> 00:04:59,576 I know what that word does to you. 105 00:04:59,580 --> 00:05:01,630 Oh, gee, Pop, I'd like to help out, honest, 106 00:05:01,830 --> 00:05:03,343 but I've got my own activities. 107 00:05:03,660 --> 00:05:06,454 You know, I spend three days a week in the ghetto area helping the poor. 108 00:05:06,654 --> 00:05:08,815 Have you seen my books lately? 109 00:05:09,015 --> 00:05:10,979 Help me, I'm one of them. 110 00:05:11,179 --> 00:05:14,911 I wish I could, but... Would you get it, Pop? I'm reading. 111 00:05:15,111 --> 00:05:18,635 Of course. And as soon as I come back, I'll turn the pages for you. 112 00:05:18,835 --> 00:05:20,780 Jamie, dinner! 113 00:05:21,740 --> 00:05:24,581 Good evening, sir. I'm selling magazine subscriptions. 114 00:05:24,781 --> 00:05:26,708 Oh, I'm sorry, son. 115 00:05:26,908 --> 00:05:28,940 Anything, but... Not magazines. 116 00:05:29,140 --> 00:05:31,484 - I could send you some. - Guess you could. 117 00:05:31,980 --> 00:05:33,221 Thanks anyway. 118 00:05:34,315 --> 00:05:37,235 Papa, you had no right to turn him down. 119 00:05:37,435 --> 00:05:38,963 <i>- Huh?</i> - He was black. 120 00:05:39,163 --> 00:05:40,806 Well, I don't care if he was plaid. 121 00:05:41,006 --> 00:05:42,394 We don't need any more magazines. 122 00:05:42,594 --> 00:05:46,010 Look at this. We've got the poor mailman wearing a truss. 123 00:05:47,020 --> 00:05:50,021 From where I sit, Poppy, your racial bias is beginning to show. 124 00:05:50,221 --> 00:05:52,698 Yeah, first Abe Finkel and now that nice man. 125 00:05:52,898 --> 00:05:55,384 You should learn to be more thoughtful. 126 00:05:55,584 --> 00:05:57,766 There are problems in today's world. 127 00:05:57,966 --> 00:06:00,628 And we should all pitch in and do our share. 128 00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:02,803 Okay, I agree with you. 129 00:06:03,003 --> 00:06:05,319 You and the kids are always harping about ecology. 130 00:06:05,519 --> 00:06:08,456 I'm gonna give you a chance to make a giant contribution. 131 00:06:08,656 --> 00:06:11,152 You know how many magazines come into this house? 132 00:06:11,352 --> 00:06:14,260 What do my magazines have to do with ecology? 133 00:06:14,854 --> 00:06:17,849 Irma. Magazines take paper, and if you canceled 134 00:06:18,049 --> 00:06:21,695 half your subscriptions, we'd save 600 trees a year. 135 00:06:21,895 --> 00:06:23,683 Now let's eat. 136 00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:27,533 I'm not saying you're a bigot, Harry. 137 00:06:27,733 --> 00:06:30,750 Neither am I. You're just prejudiced against minorities. 138 00:06:30,950 --> 00:06:32,887 I'm not against minorities. 139 00:06:33,087 --> 00:06:35,174 In this family, I happen to be one. 140 00:06:35,374 --> 00:06:36,860 Now, Pop, don't be so defensive. 141 00:06:36,900 --> 00:06:39,380 I have nothing to be defensive about. 142 00:06:39,420 --> 00:06:42,573 If I was against minorities, would I have Betsy as my secretary? 143 00:06:42,773 --> 00:06:45,452 Betsy is just a token black at the office. 144 00:06:46,060 --> 00:06:48,949 Token? Well, that token has been there for 145 00:06:49,149 --> 00:06:53,970 22 years, and I exploit her to the tune of 185 a week. 146 00:06:54,170 --> 00:06:55,237 <i>And for your information,</i> 147 00:06:55,437 --> 00:06:58,201 <i>I was hiring Negroes before it was fashionable.</i> 148 00:06:58,401 --> 00:07:00,318 She's not a Negro She's black. 149 00:07:00,518 --> 00:07:02,262 When I hired her, she was a Negro. 150 00:07:02,462 --> 00:07:03,820 Oh, for goodness sake. 151 00:07:03,860 --> 00:07:05,543 What difference does it make whether 152 00:07:05,743 --> 00:07:07,799 she's colored, black, or Negro. She's Betsy. 153 00:07:07,999 --> 00:07:12,182 Still, when you talk to her, you'll find she prefers to be called black. 154 00:07:12,382 --> 00:07:14,660 I'll remember that. But I'll tell you, 155 00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:16,700 and you might find this difficult to believe, 156 00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:20,288 but the color of Betsy's skin rarely comes up in our conversation. 157 00:07:20,488 --> 00:07:22,043 You're being facetious. 158 00:07:23,103 --> 00:07:24,507 Well, how do you think we talk? 159 00:07:24,707 --> 00:07:28,557 In your opinion, Betsy, as a black lady, do our books balance? 160 00:07:28,757 --> 00:07:30,907 Harry, I wish you'd be serious. 161 00:07:31,107 --> 00:07:33,124 The children are concerned. 162 00:07:33,324 --> 00:07:35,225 Okay, what do I have to do to prove that 163 00:07:35,425 --> 00:07:37,611 your terrible father really ain't a bad fella? 164 00:07:37,811 --> 00:07:41,257 <i>All right, Pop, when you hire the new driver to replace Abe Finkel,</i> 165 00:07:41,457 --> 00:07:43,392 <i>make it someone from a minority group.</i> 166 00:07:43,592 --> 00:07:45,961 <i> Oh, what do you want me to do, put an ad in the papers, huh?</i> 167 00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:48,687 Truck driver wanted, only minorities considered? 168 00:07:48,887 --> 00:07:50,902 All others will be thrown out in their ear? 169 00:07:51,102 --> 00:07:52,852 <i>Well, you can't word it that way.</i> 170 00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:56,748 Look, this is still my business, and I'll hire my help my way. 171 00:07:56,948 --> 00:07:59,238 And I don't care if he's black, white, yellow, or green, 172 00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,346 if he's qualified for the job. 173 00:08:01,546 --> 00:08:03,634 Now, get off my back and let's eat, huh. 174 00:08:03,834 --> 00:08:06,519 And I hope you don't mind if I say grace tonight. 175 00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:08,877 I don't want to get it from "Him", too. 176 00:08:11,580 --> 00:08:14,931 - Ralph, I'm ready to go. - I want to talk to you, Harry. 177 00:08:15,131 --> 00:08:16,590 You you put this ad in the paper. 178 00:08:16,790 --> 00:08:19,304 Qualified truck driver wanted. 179 00:08:19,504 --> 00:08:21,035 Minorities given equal consideration. 180 00:08:21,235 --> 00:08:23,235 - Yeah, that's mine. - How could you do it? 181 00:08:23,435 --> 00:08:25,761 I read it while I was having my breakfast this morning. 182 00:08:25,961 --> 00:08:27,242 I was so upset I couldn't finish eating. 183 00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:28,971 It's the first time I didn't get to see the 184 00:08:29,171 --> 00:08:30,896 American flag at the bottom of my cereal bowl. 185 00:08:31,096 --> 00:08:33,232 What's wrong with giving some minority a praise? 186 00:08:33,432 --> 00:08:34,529 They have to make a living too. 187 00:08:34,729 --> 00:08:36,625 Harry, I got nothing against them making a living. 188 00:08:36,825 --> 00:08:37,995 I help them all I can. 189 00:08:38,195 --> 00:08:41,903 I always give my laundry to the Chinaman. If I need any ditches dug, 190 00:08:42,103 --> 00:08:44,092 I get the wetbacks first crack, and whenever I'm downtown, 191 00:08:44,292 --> 00:08:46,617 I go out of my way to find a black to shine my shoes. 192 00:08:46,332 --> 00:08:49,339 I've done as much for minorities as anyone in this country. 193 00:08:49,539 --> 00:08:51,649 Oh, Ralph, you're a regular Abe Lincoln. 194 00:08:51,849 --> 00:08:54,073 Look, all minorities are subversive. 195 00:08:54,273 --> 00:08:55,965 That's a known fact. That's known, that's known. 196 00:08:56,165 --> 00:08:57,649 If hired one, 197 00:08:57,849 --> 00:08:59,731 you're endangering the security of the United States. 198 00:08:59,931 --> 00:09:03,050 Ralph, I got a small restaurant supply business. 199 00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:07,169 How could one truck driver possibly do anything to hurt the United States? 200 00:09:07,369 --> 00:09:11,957 Okay. Let's say you deliver a case of beans, right? Am I right? 201 00:09:12,157 --> 00:09:15,091 And one of the cans just happens to wind up overseas. 202 00:09:15,291 --> 00:09:17,044 And pow! It's booby trap. 203 00:09:17,244 --> 00:09:20,655 A cute little device put there by your minority truck driver, 204 00:09:20,980 --> 00:09:22,671 who is obviously working for the other side. 205 00:09:23,260 --> 00:09:26,020 You know what, Ralph? I think your brain is booby trap. 206 00:09:26,220 --> 00:09:29,306 Okay, okay. But when that headline comes out, 207 00:09:29,506 --> 00:09:31,353 Can of beans blows up key American base. 208 00:09:32,340 --> 00:09:33,776 You're gonna have to live with yourself, Harry. 209 00:09:36,780 --> 00:09:39,902 The Chicanos make up at least 15% of this community, 210 00:09:40,102 --> 00:09:42,312 and we would like that sort of representation here. 211 00:09:42,512 --> 00:09:44,799 Well, I can only tell you if I find a qualified man, 212 00:09:44,999 --> 00:09:46,183 I'd be glad to hire him. 213 00:09:46,383 --> 00:09:48,642 Good. I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding one. 214 00:09:49,060 --> 00:09:51,490 I'll report that you've hired one of us, and thank you. 215 00:09:52,995 --> 00:09:56,543 Mr. Boyle, I'm Will Whitecloud of the Indian Employment League, 216 00:09:57,081 --> 00:09:59,163 and my people have been overlooked for a long time. 217 00:09:59,620 --> 00:10:01,795 <i>We'd like a chance to prove ourselves in industry.</i> 218 00:10:01,995 --> 00:10:05,352 It's not an executive position, you know, it's just a truck driver. 219 00:10:05,860 --> 00:10:07,544 To us, that's an executive position. 220 00:10:08,060 --> 00:10:09,444 And I know you'll do right by us. 221 00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:13,335 <i>And as a member of the Black Economic Council,</i> 222 00:10:13,535 --> 00:10:15,281 <i>I'd like to make you aware that</i> 223 00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:17,328 there are over 20 million blacks in America, 224 00:10:17,528 --> 00:10:18,981 roughly 10% of the population. 225 00:10:19,260 --> 00:10:21,232 How many black men do you presently employ? 226 00:10:21,432 --> 00:10:23,496 Well, uh, none. 227 00:10:23,740 --> 00:10:27,338 Not one? Well, I have only six employees altogether. 228 00:10:27,538 --> 00:10:30,142 Well, still, I'm certain you'll rectify this unfairness. 229 00:10:31,260 --> 00:10:33,953 Hi, Harry. Oh, sorry, I didn't know you were getting your shoes shined. 230 00:10:35,074 --> 00:10:37,748 This is Mr. Cooper of the Black Economic Council. 231 00:10:38,540 --> 00:10:41,555 - Hmm? Hmm? - Thanks for your cooperation. 232 00:10:43,540 --> 00:10:45,772 A Ruski agent, if I ever saw one. 233 00:10:46,140 --> 00:10:48,826 Oh, Ralph, he's black. How can a Russian be black? 234 00:10:49,026 --> 00:10:51,586 You don't know the kind of schools they put him through. 235 00:10:51,786 --> 00:10:53,031 Ralph, I'm busy this morning. 236 00:10:53,231 --> 00:10:54,866 I know, I know. You're hiring, right? 237 00:10:55,066 --> 00:10:57,570 And I've got just the man for you. Eddie. 238 00:10:58,780 --> 00:11:00,540 Harry, I want you to meet Eddie James. 239 00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:03,299 He's a platoon Sergeant and Company B of the vigilantes. 240 00:11:03,499 --> 00:11:06,040 - Hi. - Eddie's a top marksman. 241 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:07,906 <i>You should have seen how he riddled the target</i> 242 00:11:08,106 --> 00:11:09,809 <i>of Ho Chi Minh at target practice last night.</i> 243 00:11:10,009 --> 00:11:11,474 Four big wins right between his beady eyes. 244 00:11:11,674 --> 00:11:13,603 Stand one right in the goatee. 245 00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,469 That's all very nice, fellows. 246 00:11:15,669 --> 00:11:17,768 - But if you don't mind... - Harry, you don't understand. 247 00:11:18,020 --> 00:11:20,804 Your troubles are over. Eddie is available for that job. 248 00:11:21,004 --> 00:11:23,215 - I I don't think... - He's perfect for you. 249 00:11:23,415 --> 00:11:25,677 Eddie's a real Yankee doodle dandy do or die. 250 00:11:25,877 --> 00:11:27,580 He's such a hundred percent American, 251 00:11:27,780 --> 00:11:28,831 his birthday was September 26th, 252 00:11:29,031 --> 00:11:30,645 he had a change on July 4th. 253 00:11:30,845 --> 00:11:33,368 Are you sure he isn't George M. Cohan? 254 00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:34,640 I ain't Jewish. 255 00:11:35,340 --> 00:11:38,542 Well, I I think I have enough applicants for the job already. 256 00:11:38,742 --> 00:11:41,466 You mean you don't want Eddie to drive your truck? 257 00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:44,607 - That's right. - How about letting him ride shotgun? 258 00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:47,780 Ralph, I've been in business 25 years, 259 00:11:47,820 --> 00:11:50,540 and not once has my truck beenambushed. 260 00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:54,260 Okay, Harry. See ya. Come on, Eddie. 261 00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:56,779 <i>- Did I get the job? - Come on.</i> 262 00:11:58,060 --> 00:11:59,609 What did I get myself into? 263 00:12:00,332 --> 00:12:04,807 My only way out is to find a Chicano who's half black and half Indian. 264 00:12:05,007 --> 00:12:06,343 You don't happen to know one, do you? 265 00:12:06,543 --> 00:12:10,683 No, the closest I've got is a distant cousin who's part Lebanese. 266 00:12:11,060 --> 00:12:14,578 - I'll settle. Can he drive a truck? - No, only a camel. 267 00:12:14,778 --> 00:12:19,038 Well, there's one consolation. It can't get much worse. 268 00:12:20,780 --> 00:12:24,556 Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. 269 00:12:26,060 --> 00:12:28,358 Wow. Who? 270 00:12:28,940 --> 00:12:29,980 Who are you? 271 00:12:30,180 --> 00:12:34,426 I'm from GLEE, Gay Liberation Employment Efforts. 272 00:12:34,860 --> 00:12:37,340 Now I understand you have a job opening here. 273 00:12:37,500 --> 00:12:40,983 Sounds like it would be just yummy for one of our boys. 274 00:12:41,183 --> 00:12:44,718 I'm looking for someone to drive a truck, not fly it. 275 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,961 - Out! Out! - Well, if there's no job, 276 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:50,152 can I send you two tickets to our annual Sweetheart Ball? 277 00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:54,654 No, I don't have a distant cousin that covers him either. 278 00:12:59,580 --> 00:13:02,504 And the two cases of peaches are for Henry's diner. 279 00:13:02,704 --> 00:13:04,035 Thanks, Betsy. 280 00:13:04,860 --> 00:13:07,247 How about this? I'm back to making deliveries. 281 00:13:07,447 --> 00:13:09,934 You know, I'll never forgive Abe Finkel for this. 282 00:13:10,134 --> 00:13:12,460 - But you fired him. - He didn't have to let me. 283 00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:21,209 I'm not white, I'm a boss. 284 00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:24,302 I mean, I am white. 285 00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,020 But that's not the reason I'm driving. 286 00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:29,980 <i>You You see, I gotta pick a color.</i> 287 00:13:30,020 --> 00:13:32,260 - I mean... - Uh oh, George. Take off. 288 00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:34,014 I think we got a twisted liberal here. 289 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:42,104 Well, maybe my troubles are over for the day anyway. 290 00:13:43,153 --> 00:13:44,804 <i>Your friend Ralph put it up there.</i> 291 00:13:45,004 --> 00:13:48,187 Hey, this is the answer to my problem. 292 00:13:48,387 --> 00:13:49,790 <i>You're going to join the army?</i> 293 00:13:49,990 --> 00:13:51,500 No, the federal government. 294 00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:54,250 They must have had problems like mine before. 295 00:13:54,450 --> 00:13:57,180 That's it. I'll go see them. They'll have the answer. 296 00:14:02,780 --> 00:14:05,909 - He's a tiger, isn't he? - I'd like to see, uh... 297 00:14:06,109 --> 00:14:09,184 - Fill out this form. - It's about minority hiring. 298 00:14:09,384 --> 00:14:11,932 Ohh. Were you sent here by a senator or a congressman? 299 00:14:12,132 --> 00:14:14,426 No, I'm just an average citizen. 300 00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:28,660 Ah, yes, you're Mr. Harry Boyle, right? 301 00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:33,014 I'm not sure. Downstairs, they acted like I was Benedict Arnold. 302 00:14:33,214 --> 00:14:34,703 Oh, simple precautions. 303 00:14:34,903 --> 00:14:36,905 Just let me check you out in our files. 304 00:14:37,105 --> 00:14:39,631 You have a file on me? 305 00:14:39,831 --> 00:14:41,976 But don't get the wrong idea. 306 00:14:42,176 --> 00:14:44,924 Your government only tries to keep reasonably informed. 307 00:14:45,124 --> 00:14:47,372 We're not here to pry or snoop. 308 00:14:49,580 --> 00:14:52,156 You're the same-age boil, AKA porky boil, 309 00:14:52,356 --> 00:14:54,901 that broke two windows and PS19 on 4 March 1937. 310 00:14:55,101 --> 00:14:56,408 Huh? 311 00:14:57,500 --> 00:15:02,484 Is it true that in 1940 you were often in the company of 15 year old girls? 312 00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:06,286 - There you got me cold. - That's very questionable. 313 00:15:06,486 --> 00:15:07,844 You're forgetting one thing. 314 00:15:08,044 --> 00:15:11,444 In 1940 I was a 15 year old too. 315 00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:13,713 Now look, I'll save you some time. 316 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:17,490 I'll also admit, I was the kid who put the carp in Arnold Folker's 317 00:15:17,690 --> 00:15:21,468 goldfish bowl and short-sheeted Stinky Davis' bunk at a Boy Scout camp. 318 00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:25,282 Now that I'm openly identified as public enemy number one, 319 00:15:25,482 --> 00:15:27,862 can we get on with my problem? 320 00:15:30,140 --> 00:15:32,139 - Now we have the answer. - Great! 321 00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:34,551 Who does it say I should hire? 322 00:15:34,751 --> 00:15:38,807 A firm such as yours with six employees should have, uh... 323 00:15:39,017 --> 00:15:41,380 one black, three-quarters Chicano, 324 00:15:41,420 --> 00:15:43,740 one-fifth Indian, one-third Puerto Rican, 325 00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:45,813 and one five-hundredth Eskimo. 326 00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:48,563 Equally divided between male and female. 327 00:15:49,580 --> 00:15:51,184 You should have your own computer. 328 00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:54,058 - You could have figured it out. - I don't need a computer. 329 00:15:54,258 --> 00:15:56,290 What I need is a slicing machine. 330 00:15:56,490 --> 00:15:57,940 Well, of course those figures 331 00:15:57,980 --> 00:16:00,117 should be rounded off to the nearest person. 332 00:16:00,317 --> 00:16:03,452 Look, all I need is one person. 333 00:16:03,652 --> 00:16:05,654 You pick 'em, and I'll hire 'em! 334 00:16:05,854 --> 00:16:09,716 Oh, no, no, no. The government never interferes with free enterprise. 335 00:16:09,916 --> 00:16:12,420 Please, just a hint. Which minority group 336 00:16:12,460 --> 00:16:15,525 should I hire from... to replace Abe Finkel? 337 00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:18,141 You mean you fired Abe Finkel? 338 00:16:18,341 --> 00:16:21,146 - You know Abe? - My son-in-law does. 339 00:16:21,346 --> 00:16:22,540 He runs an auto repair shop. 340 00:16:26,460 --> 00:16:29,178 Eh, you're in trouble, Harry. Here's the way I see your choices. 341 00:16:29,378 --> 00:16:31,206 If you don't pick one of them... 342 00:16:31,406 --> 00:16:33,346 the chicanos will stone you, 343 00:16:33,546 --> 00:16:35,323 the Indians will scalp you, and the blacks will burn you out. 344 00:16:35,523 --> 00:16:37,661 So you got your stoners, your scalpers, and your burners. 345 00:16:37,861 --> 00:16:40,826 I made-up my mind, Ralph. I'm going with a minority. 346 00:16:41,026 --> 00:16:43,437 I don't know which one yet, but I'll figure it out. 347 00:16:43,637 --> 00:16:46,500 You know your trouble, Harry? You're a bigot. 348 00:16:46,940 --> 00:16:48,894 <i>- A bigot? - You're anti-white.</i> 349 00:16:50,740 --> 00:16:52,550 You didn't hire anybody? 350 00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:55,993 I sent all the applicants away and canceled the ad in the paper. 351 00:16:56,193 --> 00:16:57,700 I couldn't take it anymore. 352 00:16:57,740 --> 00:16:59,220 I haven't had this much pressure put on me 353 00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:01,314 since your mother decided we should get married. 354 00:17:01,514 --> 00:17:05,075 Poppa, the solution is very simple. 355 00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:06,684 Just hire one of each. 356 00:17:06,884 --> 00:17:09,153 You're right, Harry. That would solve it. 357 00:17:09,353 --> 00:17:11,680 One of each? What do you want me to do? 358 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:14,696 Have four drivers seated on each other's lats? 359 00:17:14,896 --> 00:17:17,609 You're not being sympathetic to the minority problem. 360 00:17:18,111 --> 00:17:21,499 Believe me, Alice, I am sympathetic to their problem, 361 00:17:21,820 --> 00:17:24,748 but I want them be sympathetic to my problem. 362 00:17:24,948 --> 00:17:27,090 And you have a racial imbalance. 363 00:17:27,290 --> 00:17:28,860 You can expect some strong protests. 364 00:17:37,220 --> 00:17:41,038 - Boyle is a tyrant. - Unfair, unfair, we want in. 365 00:17:41,238 --> 00:17:43,822 Boyle is unfair to minorities. 366 00:17:44,373 --> 00:17:46,324 Unfair, unfair, unfair. 367 00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:50,132 It's the phone. I'll answer it. 368 00:17:50,332 --> 00:17:53,038 To write out another ad for the newspaper. 369 00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:56,907 It's vitally important that a minority worker get that job. 370 00:17:57,140 --> 00:17:59,260 We must help the downtrodden masses. 371 00:18:00,060 --> 00:18:03,137 - Hello? - Let's see. 372 00:18:03,337 --> 00:18:06,464 Truck driver needed. All minorities considered. 373 00:18:06,664 --> 00:18:08,932 Fine. We'll see you later. 374 00:18:09,132 --> 00:18:11,858 You won't need an ad, Harry. 375 00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:13,782 That was my brother, Paul. 376 00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:15,652 I told him he could have the job. 377 00:18:15,852 --> 00:18:17,540 What happened to Eleanor Roosevelt? 378 00:18:17,740 --> 00:18:21,302 - Don't be silly. Paul needs a job. - How come? 379 00:18:21,719 --> 00:18:23,468 His unemployment insurance run out? 380 00:18:23,668 --> 00:18:25,506 He's a very conscientious worker. 381 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,525 Remember last time he stayed with you almost three months. 382 00:18:29,725 --> 00:18:33,273 During which time there was cash missing from the till every day. 383 00:18:33,820 --> 00:18:36,580 Harry, are you saying he stole from you? 384 00:18:36,780 --> 00:18:38,700 All I'm saying is that after he quit, 385 00:18:38,740 --> 00:18:40,580 he bought a house and joined a golf club. 386 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,800 He's my own flesh and blood. 387 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,694 And he took some of mine with him too. 388 00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:47,900 Irma, I know ho you feel about Paul, 389 00:18:48,380 --> 00:18:51,868 but the next step for him is a yacht, and I don't think I can afford it. 390 00:18:52,068 --> 00:18:54,874 But he's on the way over. What can I tell him? 391 00:18:55,074 --> 00:18:57,364 Be polite. Tell him to drop dead. 392 00:18:57,940 --> 00:19:00,638 Harry Boyle, when my brother gets here, 393 00:19:00,838 --> 00:19:03,987 if you don't hire him, I'll never speak to you again. 394 00:19:06,934 --> 00:19:11,120 All right, Company B, attention! Attention here, people. 395 00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:12,319 What's going on? 396 00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:14,388 Company B, man in the barricades to protect you 397 00:19:14,588 --> 00:19:15,933 from those commie groups threatening you. 398 00:19:16,133 --> 00:19:18,537 Oh, Ralph, they're not commie groups trying to... 399 00:19:18,737 --> 00:19:22,178 See, we got a squad one there, ready to catch any flying stones. 400 00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:25,518 <i>Now squad two, with the hoses, that's to</i> 401 00:19:25,718 --> 00:19:27,362 <i>put out your fires from your burners and vandals.</i> 402 00:19:27,562 --> 00:19:29,772 And if the Indians come with your bow and arrows, 403 00:19:29,972 --> 00:19:32,570 <i>I got a special commando group on the alert here.</i> 404 00:19:33,020 --> 00:19:35,735 <i>They'll run out and cut them engine bow strings with their pink and shears.</i> 405 00:19:36,460 --> 00:19:37,759 Sound assembly, Whittaker. 406 00:19:39,660 --> 00:19:42,337 That won't cut it, Sergeant. I'm relieving you. 407 00:19:42,537 --> 00:19:44,484 I'm giving a bugle to Ethel Deacon. 408 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,330 Ethel Deacon? Well, she's a dumb-dumb. 409 00:19:47,530 --> 00:19:50,793 Please, Commander, give me another chance, please. 410 00:19:50,993 --> 00:19:53,481 Sorry to have to say this to an old trooper, 411 00:19:53,681 --> 00:19:56,003 Whitaker, but you have to face facts. 412 00:19:56,203 --> 00:19:57,915 You've lost your lip. 413 00:19:58,115 --> 00:20:01,215 Ralph, please, will you get everybody out of here? 414 00:20:01,415 --> 00:20:02,631 We're gonna hold the line. 415 00:20:02,831 --> 00:20:05,029 If you go next to the neighborhood, then the whole country. 416 00:20:05,540 --> 00:20:07,180 We gotta let the world know that we turned 417 00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:10,274 them back right here on Harry Boyle's Crabgrass. 418 00:20:13,740 --> 00:20:17,333 Maybe if I bring all the people in who answered the ad, we draw a high card. 419 00:20:17,533 --> 00:20:19,709 <i>Post number three, all's well.</i> 420 00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:23,420 I only came back to swap sandwiches. 421 00:20:23,580 --> 00:20:26,731 I got a tuna fish. I wanted chopped egg. 422 00:20:26,931 --> 00:20:30,106 You're supposed to be on the lookout across the street at the sewer. 423 00:20:30,580 --> 00:20:32,782 You know, a midget submarine could come right up 424 00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:36,100 the storm drainand lava Polaris at us through the grate. 425 00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:38,492 <i>All because you want a chopped egg.</i> 426 00:20:42,620 --> 00:20:44,858 We got one, Harry. Nabbed him right in 427 00:20:45,058 --> 00:20:46,980 the act as he came up the front walk. 428 00:20:47,020 --> 00:20:50,391 You mean someone, actually? My first P.O.W. 429 00:20:50,591 --> 00:20:54,525 A millstone, Harry, a millstone. We can form our first labor battalion. 430 00:20:54,725 --> 00:20:57,352 Have his business pass out recruiting flyers and 431 00:20:57,552 --> 00:20:58,986 windshields in the drugstore parking lot. 432 00:20:59,186 --> 00:21:01,300 Oh, there's gotta be a mistake. 433 00:21:01,340 --> 00:21:03,504 No mistake. Whittaker's taking him to my garage. 434 00:21:03,704 --> 00:21:05,100 What a cover story he had. 435 00:21:05,660 --> 00:21:07,420 <i>Said he was your wife's brother.</i> 436 00:21:07,460 --> 00:21:09,356 My wife's brother? But Ralph. 437 00:21:10,555 --> 00:21:12,152 Well. Well. 438 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:18,708 - Gonna keep him in your garage, hu? - Yep. 439 00:21:18,908 --> 00:21:23,796 All tied up until morning? Oh, I was wrong about you, Ralph. 440 00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:26,220 You are doing a great service to your country. 441 00:21:28,460 --> 00:21:31,919 And Paul never showed up? I waited till midnight. 442 00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:34,029 So you'll understand if I hire someone else. 443 00:21:34,229 --> 00:21:35,991 Yeah, providing it's a minority worker. 444 00:21:36,191 --> 00:21:38,357 It will be. I've got it all figured out. 445 00:21:38,557 --> 00:21:40,739 I wonder what happened to Paul. 446 00:21:40,939 --> 00:21:44,994 Eh? Probably got tied up somewhere. 447 00:21:47,100 --> 00:21:49,100 But I thought you were unhappy with me. 448 00:21:49,460 --> 00:21:52,992 Unhappy? With the best driver I ever had? 449 00:21:53,192 --> 00:21:56,428 But Mona and I were leaving on our second honeymoon tomorrow. 450 00:21:57,260 --> 00:21:58,800 Come back to work and I'll give you a raise. 451 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,011 A raise? 452 00:22:00,211 --> 00:22:01,677 With your great record, you've earned it. 453 00:22:01,877 --> 00:22:05,622 I did? Well, I guess I can come back. 454 00:22:05,822 --> 00:22:07,454 To tell you the truth, 455 00:22:07,654 --> 00:22:09,580 now that I have these new glasses, 456 00:22:09,900 --> 00:22:14,109 I can see Mona a lot better, and I think I'd rather work. 457 00:22:14,309 --> 00:22:17,486 Thanks, Abe. Well, hop aboard. 458 00:22:17,686 --> 00:22:21,356 Gee, now that I can see Harry, I don't know. 459 00:22:21,556 --> 00:22:22,409 What's wrong? 460 00:22:22,609 --> 00:22:25,339 Am I really the best driver you ever had? 461 00:22:25,539 --> 00:22:27,074 Absolutely. 462 00:22:27,274 --> 00:22:29,779 <i>Then I got to think about my image, Harry.</i> 463 00:22:31,060 --> 00:22:35,008 And I don't think it's right that you should have me driving this beat-uptruck. 464 00:22:37,260 --> 00:22:41,301 To be honest, Harry, I'm really glad you hired Abe again. 465 00:22:41,501 --> 00:22:44,470 Yeah, and with his new glasses, he can see real well now. 466 00:22:44,940 --> 00:22:47,008 You know, it's just like old times, 467 00:22:47,208 --> 00:22:49,689 Abe driving over to play pinochle tonight. 468 00:22:49,889 --> 00:22:52,825 Yeah, it's nice to have things back to normal. 469 00:22:54,883 --> 00:22:56,423 Abe's here. 470 00:22:56,623 --> 00:22:58,571 I thought you said he could see now. 471 00:22:58,771 --> 00:23:01,294 I think I just figured it out. 472 00:23:01,494 --> 00:23:04,739 It was never his eyes. He's just a lousy driver. 473 00:23:07,130 --> 00:23:12,166 Subtitles: Kilo 474 00:23:13,305 --> 00:24:13,357 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm