"Mrs. Brown's Boys" Easy Rider Mammy

ID	13214649
Movie Name	"Mrs. Brown's Boys" Easy Rider Mammy
Release Name	Mrs.Browns.Boys.S05E04.Easy.Rider.Mammy.1080p
Year	2025
Kind	tv
Language	English
IMDB ID	37671170
Format	srt

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1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,840 Previously... Your mother was in a car accident this afternoon. 2 00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:06,400 Oh, my God, is she all right? 3 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:07,680 She has no injuries. 4 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:10,160 She was lucky. Luckier than the pedestrian. 5 00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:12,480 She's been taken to hospital, unconscious. 6 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,560 And now you have to tell the injured woman's family. 7 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,720 Mark, about that... 8 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:19,880 STEADY BEEPING 9 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:23,520 I'm sorry, but I'm afraid 10 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:25,520 I'm going to have to turn the machine off. 11 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:26,880 AUDIENCE: Aww! 12 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:28,960 CONTINUOUS BEEP 13 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:36,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 14 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,600 MRS BROWN CACKLES 15 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:46,680 ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys! 16 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,560 # She's Mrs Brown Agnes 17 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:52,800 # That's Mrs Brown Agnes 18 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,040 # Our Mrs Brown. # 19 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:00,960 She's gone. 20 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:04,600 AUDIENCE GROANS 21 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:07,000 GROANS 22 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:11,640 Oh, for Christ's sake. 23 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,880 Mammy! She's alive! 24 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:15,320 ALL EXCLAIM 25 00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:16,720 CHEERING 26 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,640 Yes, I-I think I got her back! 27 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,720 Your mother was never in any danger. 28 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,880 The tests showed that, at the worst, 29 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:26,480 we could expect a herniated disc, 30 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,760 affected in the nucleus pulposus and the lumbar vertebra. 31 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:30,880 Exactly. 32 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,240 But you said you had to switch off the machine. 33 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:35,480 That's the coffee machine, 34 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,080 it makes the most horrendous noise. 35 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,880 Touch that coffee machine, Dr Jekyll, 36 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:43,840 and you'll be dealing with Mrs Hyde 37 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:45,600 and the fists of fury. 38 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:49,680 Where am I? You're in the hospital, Mrs Brown. 39 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,480 What? Why? What happened? 40 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:55,880 AUDIENCE: Ohh... 41 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,400 Right, well, I'm off. 42 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,200 Take me home, Sharon. 43 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,640 I'm driving. 44 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,800 Now, get me out of this stuff and get me home. 45 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:09,600 Not so fast, Mrs Brown, doctor's orders - 46 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,160 you need to stay in overnight for observation. 47 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:12,520 She's right, Mammy. 48 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,680 Er, Cathy, would you mind staying and doing some paperwork? 49 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,600 But the rest of you have to go, she needs rest. 50 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,360 We got such a fright, Mammy. 51 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:26,760 Really? 52 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,480 Everybody was even starting to talk 53 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,080 about their happy memories of Mammy. 54 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:33,560 So, what were yours? 55 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:34,880 What? 56 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:38,600 Your happy memories. 57 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,640 Oh, they were... 58 00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:41,760 Yeah? 59 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:43,280 Well, you know... 60 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,320 Go on, yeah. 61 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,280 That time we went... 62 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,800 Er, Cathy, would you mind doing that paperwork now? 63 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,040 Oh, I'm on my way. 64 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,680 She's so good. 65 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:58,240 I don't remember 66 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,160 any buckin' happy times with her. 67 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:07,440 Mrs Brown will be home soon. 68 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,360 I'll bet you're looking forward to it. 69 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,720 Yeah, I can't wait, Father. 70 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:13,080 CHUCKLES 71 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,440 Gobshite. 72 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,280 Grandad is so excited about Agnes coming home. 73 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:20,640 Really? 74 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:22,880 Yes. I'm a bit excited myself. 75 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,520 HORN TOOTS 76 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,520 That's them. She's here. 77 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,600 DERMOT: Come on, Mammy, slowly does it. 78 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,360 MRS BROWN: I'm going slow. 79 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,320 Just get your leg over there. 80 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,880 That's not the first time you've done THAT. 81 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,960 Shut up, you. Here, let me help you. 82 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:39,160 Get your hand off my arse! Sorry. 83 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,000 I got Mammy a mobility scooter. 84 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,880 She's embarrassed about using it 85 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,240 so don't make a big deal about it, OK? 86 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,240 Keep her coming, keep her coming... 87 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,720 Keep her coming. 88 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:55,760 Left a bit, left a bit. That's it. Keep... 89 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,440 LOUD CRASH 90 00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:58,760 MEOW! 91 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,160 Hold it there! 92 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,760 Back her up, back her up! 93 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,760 REVERSING ALARM 94 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,320 OK, straighten. 95 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:06,760 OK, slowly, 96 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,520 just put your hand on the accelerator. 97 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,520 Slowly, that's it. 98 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,200 Come on, come, OK. 99 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,520 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 100 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,320 Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! 101 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:16,920 Jesus, Jesus! 102 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,000 CHEERING 103 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,480 APPLAUSE 104 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:25,960 SOFTLY: I'm home! 105 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:33,040 I'm not happy about this scooter thing, Dermot. 106 00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:36,040 Look at me, Dermot, I'm driving! 107 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:38,480 You're doing great, Ma. 108 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:39,760 This is fantastic. 109 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:41,160 I'm going to pimp me ride. 110 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,360 Please be careful, Mammy. 111 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:46,280 Cathy, look at me, I'm free! 112 00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:48,240 Does she need a licence for that thing? 113 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:51,720 No! Should she not at least be wearing a helmet, Dermot? 114 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:54,440 Will you relax? She's fine. 115 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,000 Yeah, Cathy, relax, will you? 116 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,520 You're killing me buzz. 117 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:02,080 Cathy, that scooter has all the latest safety technology. 118 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:03,680 It's almost uncrashable. 119 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,200 CRASH! 120 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:06,920 MRS BROWN WAILS 121 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:08,520 You all heard me - I said "almost". 122 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:10,840 I'm fine! I'm fine! 123 00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:13,400 I'm telling you, Dermot, she has no control 124 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,120 over that thing. 125 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,120 WHIRRING 126 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:16,760 It's an accident waiting to happen. 127 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,080 Somebody is going to get... I need to talk to youse all. 128 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:20,480 Jesus, Mammy! 129 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,840 LAUGHTER REVERSING ALARM 130 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,240 Youse have all been very kind. 131 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,440 And I thank you. 132 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,760 Now, I think my recovery's going to be a short one. 133 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,280 Oh... 134 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:42,400 But I can't do very much so I'm going to need a lot of help. 135 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:46,120 With the house, you know. 136 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:48,960 And with Grandad. 137 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,800 Well, Ma, it's great to have you back. 138 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,080 But I have to get into work. 139 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:56,400 Lift, Cathy? 140 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,960 Yeah, us too. Come on, Buster, let's go. 141 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,200 Dermo, what about the surprise? 142 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,720 Oh, yeah, we got you a surprise, Ma. 143 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,560 Really? What is it? 144 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,880 You'll see. Come on, Buster. 145 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:16,840 Goodbye now, Father. 146 00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:18,480 Right. 147 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:21,400 Before I leave, Mrs Brown, I'm delighted to tell you 148 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:23,760 that the church council of volunteers 149 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,760 have decided to appoint a home help to you 150 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,040 until you're mobile again. 151 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,720 Oh, thank you, Father, cos I can't do very much. 152 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:31,560 I understand. 153 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,160 Take your time recovering. 154 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,520 Oh, and we've a special section at Mass for mobility scooters. 155 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,520 Oh, that's nice. 156 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,240 AUDIENCE: Ohh! 157 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:56,960 Oh, a cup of tea. 158 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:00,560 Hi, Agnes! 159 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,040 Oh... 160 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,040 Is that you, Winnie? 161 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:07,120 Agnes, what are you doing, love? 162 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,040 Winnie, I've been here for half an hour. 163 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:10,400 Oh, Jesus. 164 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,960 I tried to get over to the teapot, 165 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,240 but I can't get back. 166 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,880 Nonsense, Agnes, come on, let me help you. 167 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,160 Thanks, Winnie. 168 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:24,120 You're supposed to be taking it easy. 169 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:25,800 I don't want to be a burden to anyone. 170 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,800 It's all my fault. Oh, now, now. 171 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,200 Yeah, yeah, you... 172 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,960 Look, I'll see you later, love. See you, Winnie. 173 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:36,600 Winnie, would you put me bin out on your way out? 174 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,560 Oh, Agnes, that's very heavy. 175 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,760 Yeah, I wouldn't ask you, except it's... 176 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,040 ..your fault. 177 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:49,600 CACKLES 178 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,640 What's this? 179 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:00,880 The President's Kama Sutra...? 180 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,600 Hey... 181 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,880 GASPS 182 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:10,040 Hello. 183 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,680 Listen to this. 184 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,200 "Feeling the warmth of his breath on my neck 185 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,040 "caused me to melt. 186 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:26,480 "His hand moved gently over... my quivering stomach. 187 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:30,040 "While his fingers playfully tugged at my... 188 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,200 "..ear lobe"? 189 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:36,640 Feck's sake. 190 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,080 "He looked me in the eyes... 191 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,680 "..and whispered..." 192 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:45,920 GRUFF VOICE: Agnes? 193 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,000 Yes, Mr President? 194 00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:57,400 Agnes!What the feck do you want?! 195 00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,440 My hairbrush got tangled. 196 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,120 Can't you see I'm busy over here getting fondled? 197 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:05,280 CATHY: Mammy, did you take my book again? 198 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,080 N-No. 199 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,800 Stay where you are, party's over. 200 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,760 I can't find it anywhere! 201 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,640 Well, I'll have a look for it. 202 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,080 GRUNTS 203 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,040 Luc hasn't got it, no, 204 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:24,560 Ewen hasn't got it. 205 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,120 Wait a minute... 206 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:27,640 Ewen! 207 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,800 You baldy... 208 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,840 No, none of the cameramen have it. 209 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,760 Though I think, from listening to me, 210 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,600 they do have an erection. 211 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,560 CRASH! 212 00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:45,280 Oh, Cathy, here it is in the...in the kitchen. 213 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,040 Thanks, Mammy! 214 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:49,880 No problem. 215 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,720 I'll never get to finish this buckin' book. 216 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:53,920 Hiya, Agnes. 217 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,320 Hello, girls! Hi, Agnes. 218 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:57,760 Where youse off to? 219 00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,760 Down the village, 220 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,840 to get you a "sorry" card. 221 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,640 Winnie, enough is enough. 222 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,360 I forgive you. 223 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:11,240 Well, how else can I tell you how sorry I am? 224 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:12,400 Try cash. 225 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,440 CHUCKLING 226 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,280 Anyway, Birdie wants to go and have a coffee. 227 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,040 Here, I'll get you a coffee here, I'll make... 228 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,160 Oh, no, no, Agnes. 229 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,560 Wash & Blow got a fancy new coffee machine installed 230 00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:25,160 and they're complimentary. 231 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,200 You can't just walk in off the street and get a coffee. 232 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,760 Want a bet? 233 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,160 She's been going there all week, Agnes. 234 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:33,680 Here, what's this? 235 00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:38,080 Oh, Winnie, it's a book about a KGB agent, right, 236 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,400 who's trying to seduce the President's wife. 237 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,280 Oh...!Now, as it turns out, 238 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:44,120 the President's wife is a bit of a bike anyway. 239 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,320 I'll stop you there, Agnes, that does nothing for me, love. 240 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:50,400 Well, it does for me, I tell ya. 241 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,280 That book is a real knee-knocker. 242 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,520 If I could feel me knees after me spinal injury. 243 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:03,720 Jesus, Mammy, Grandad's badly in need of a haircut. 244 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,800 I know, he's like Gandalf the Grey in there. 245 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,720 You dirty bitch! 246 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,680 Are you all right there? 247 00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:16,080 Oh, yeah, yeah. 248 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:17,320 Can I borrow this? 249 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:20,480 No, I'm only halfway through the feckin' thing. 250 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,720 And I'm not even finished it. 251 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,400 That's my novel for our book club, Mammy. 252 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,160 DREAMLIKE MUSICAL FLOURISH 253 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,920 Barbara! 254 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,400 How are you, Mrs Brown? Hello, Barbara. 255 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:40,720 I don't have you booked in for today. 256 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,400 No, no, it's not me, it's Grandad needs a trim. 257 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,640 No, Mrs Brown. 258 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:46,680 He wrecked the salon last year trying to escape. 259 00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:49,480 I promise you, he'll be on his best behaviour this year. Won't you? 260 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:51,440 Yeah, yeah. 261 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:54,040 I promise, when we leave here, the place is gonna be spotless. 262 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,160 OK. 263 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,800 Come on, then, Grandad. 264 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,120 Thank you, Barbara. 265 00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:59,840 Help yourselves to coffee, ladies. 266 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:01,160 I'm first! 267 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,080 Agnes, darling! 268 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:06,160 Oh, shite. 269 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,280 Hello, Hidily. Hello, Maria, love. 270 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,560 Hello, Mrs Brown. Great news. 271 00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:14,400 The church volunteers have approved you for a home help 272 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,920 two days a week. Is that Wednesday and Friday? 273 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,840 Well, actually Monday and Thursday suit me best. 274 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,880 AUDIENCE: Ohh...! 275 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:25,840 Suits YOU? Mm. 276 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,440 Yes. I'm it, I'm your home aid. 277 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:29,840 Aren't you lucky? 278 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,120 You're so good for volunteering, Mother. 279 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,760 Isn't she, Mrs Brown? 280 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,280 Yes, I was just thinking that... 281 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:41,640 That's nice. 282 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,600 Excuse me, Mrs Brown. Mother, I won't be long, I just 283 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,640 want to have a word with Barbara before we go to the shops. 284 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,640 Oh, you take as long as you like, Maria, 285 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:49,880 I'll just be sitting here 286 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:53,120 catching up with my favourite home-help client 287 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,160 and a beautiful lady. 288 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:57,520 That's a lovely thing to say, Hilliary, thank you very much. 289 00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:00,160 I was talking about the President's wife. 290 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,280 I walked into that one, didn't I? 291 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,000 You really did. 292 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,000 Morning, all! 293 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,640 Hello, Father Damien. What brings you in? 294 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,440 You know me, Mrs Brown, just doing the Lord's work. 295 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,560 The usual, Father? Please, Birdie. 296 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,000 Mocha frappuccino. 297 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:19,200 Ooh! Could I get one of those? But with an extra shot. 298 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:20,600 From a rifle. 299 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,720 Hidily, it's not Starbucks. 300 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,360 I've got a mocha frappuccino here 301 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:28,880 for Demon. 302 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,200 Thank you, Birdie. 303 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,800 Well, what's this, Father? 304 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,720 Oh, I have to proofread the parish newsletter 305 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,480 before it goes to print. This will be the final edition. 306 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,640 What the devil are you babbling about? 307 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,440 It's gotten too expensive to produce. 308 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,360 But, to be honest, my heart isn't in it - 309 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,880 I don't think anyone even reads the newsletter any more. 310 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:48,960 I do. I look forward to it every week. 311 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:51,160 CLATTERING 312 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:52,720 Grandad! 313 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,200 Grandad! 314 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,720 Mrs Brown, Grandad escaped - again. 315 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,000 I saw. I'm on me way, hang on. 316 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,760 Sorry, excuse me, 317 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:05,640 sorry, sorry. 318 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:05,640 REVERSING ALARM 319 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:07,000 Oh, for fuck's sake. 320 00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:11,160 Oh, shite! 321 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,400 Oh, sorry, Winnie, sorry, sorry. 322 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,960 I don't know what's wrong with this feckin' thing. 323 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:22,400 APPLAUSE 324 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:24,840 Barbara! 325 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:28,120 I found this outside. 326 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,000 Waste not, want not, love. 327 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,120 REVERSING ALARM 328 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,800 I've been thinking about that newsletter all day. 329 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,120 Me too. Me too. 330 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,240 Nope. 331 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:51,720 Father Damien, sit down. 332 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:55,440 Father, you really have to keep the newsletter going. 333 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:56,920 I'm afraid I can't. 334 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:58,960 But how are we going to know what's happening in the parish? 335 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,560 You could come to Mass. 336 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,080 CACKLES 337 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,880 Father, this is no time for jokes. Seriously! 338 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:07,640 Agnes is right. 339 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,840 Parochial communication is essential for the betterment 340 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:13,640 and elaboration of a community's consciousness. 341 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,840 As a member of the community, I need to be kept in the loop. 342 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,400 That's what I said. 343 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,320 Yeah, but I said it in buckin' English. 344 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,760 Father, you must do everything in your power 345 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,240 to keep that newsletter going. 346 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,720 I want to, but I just can't see 347 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,560 how to make it financially viable. 348 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:35,360 You could sell advertisements to local business, 349 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:37,320 that'd help pay for the printing. 350 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:38,920 Oh, excellent, Agnes. 351 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:40,680 And to improve readership, 352 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,720 you should ask somebody local to write 353 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,640 some interesting articles that would keep people interested. 354 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,320 That's a great idea. 355 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:50,240 Yes. Er, somebody the community looks up to. 356 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,600 Exactly. It would need to be someone of importance, 357 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,640 someone who has interesting things to say... 358 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,160 All right, I'll do it. 359 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,120 Thank you, Mrs Brown. 360 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,760 Oh, now, hold on a moment, Father! 361 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,440 I'll start approaching local businesses. 362 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,720 No, no, no, no, Father, hold on a second! 363 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,760 Seriously?! 364 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,280 Gobshite. 365 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,800 INTERNALLY: "I gazed in astonishment. 366 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:21,160 "It was so much larger than my husband's. 367 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,520 "Reaching out with a trembling hand, 368 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,480 "I grasped hold of his massive... 369 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:29,480 "..nose"?! 370 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,320 I know, Father, 371 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:35,040 I was expecting cock as well. LAUGHTER 372 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,960 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 373 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:39,800 How is she, Dr Flynn? 374 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,160 CRACK! 375 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:45,440 Er, progressing nicely. Nothing to worry about. 376 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:46,600 Oh, Cathy, 377 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,920 I've got a lovely bottle of red for tonight. 378 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:51,040 Really? I can't wait. 379 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,240 Why? What's tonight? Book club. 380 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:54,920 It's my turn to host. 381 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:56,280 Oh, spare me now. 382 00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:59,240 Cup of tea, Father? No, thank you, Mrs Brown. 383 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,640 DOOR CLOSES 384 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,640 I just called in 385 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,200 to collect your article for the parish newsletter. 386 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,920 I haven't even started it, Father. 387 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,240 We need something, Mrs Brown, and soon. 388 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:07,800 The printers are waiting, 389 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,440 and I've already lined up four advertisers. 390 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,640 I can't think of anything to write. 391 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:13,880 How about a diary 392 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,280 on your day-to-day life living in Finglas? 393 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,480 No, we more or less have that covered 394 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:19,800 in the TV series. 395 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,160 Hey, Ma, what about writing 396 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,640 about the dangers of mobility scooters? 397 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,360 Shut up! 398 00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:28,960 I know what I'll write. 399 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,160 I'll write about the tradesmen in Finglas 400 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,040 who can't shut the buck up. 401 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,240 Ha-ha. 402 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,600 Well, you've carte blanche, Mrs Brown. 403 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,080 I beg your pardon? 404 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:39,920 I mean you can write whatever you like. 405 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,600 I'm sure you'll come up with something - you always do. 406 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,880 Thanks very much, Father. 407 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:47,240 You've been no buckin' help. 408 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,040 All right, Agnes, 409 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,720 I've made the bed, I've vacuumed the hall, 410 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:56,720 the stairs, the landing, I've washed out the bath 411 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,560 and I've unblocked the downstairs loo. 412 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,560 So, I think that's everything. 413 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:02,920 That's it. Yes. 414 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:04,440 Except for, um, 415 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:06,000 the washing. 416 00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:10,920 OK. Where is it? 417 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,800 It's in the utility room in the back. 418 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:13,960 Right. 419 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,440 WAILS: Oh, for goodness' sake! 420 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,320 Oh... Oh...! 421 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,320 CACKLES 422 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,360 Now, Hidily, don't go mad with the ironing, 423 00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:28,760 just don't iron the tea towels. 424 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:31,080 How many tea towels are there? 425 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:32,320 Two. 426 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,400 Goodbye, Hilliary. Thank you very much, you're very kind. 427 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:48,920 Mr President, I'm back! 428 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,480 You don't mind me hosting book club here, Mammy, do you? 429 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:56,720 I couldn't give a shite, 430 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,840 but I'll take that book off you when you finish it. 431 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:00,840 You can have it now. I finished it earlier. 432 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,080 Oh, lovely, that's my evening sorted. 433 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,800 You're really enjoying it, aren't ya? 434 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,640 Oh, er, I love the way the author builds the suspense 435 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,280 but without rushing, you know, 436 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,440 and the evocative prose he uses 437 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,360 and the thought-provoking themes. 438 00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:16,000 Wow, Mammy. 439 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,680 And there's loads of hooring in it, I love that. 440 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,440 You'd love book club, you know. 441 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:23,960 Cathy, I don't need to read a book 442 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:25,800 or join the club to make friends. 443 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,600 Well, there's always plenty of scandal. 444 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,160 Really? Yeah, Mammy, 445 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,760 and you do love a bit of scandal. 446 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:35,840 Well... 447 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,600 Yeah, I do, Yes, I do. 448 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,080 Oh, Mammy! 449 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:40,960 We've got a surprise for you. 450 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,520 Ta-da! 451 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,720 Where's me chair? 452 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,280 This is your new chair, Mrs Brown. 453 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:54,080 I don't want a new chair, Buster Brady. 454 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,080 Well, Ma, you will like this one. 455 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,720 I got it second hand but it's working fine. 456 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:00,040 I hate it. 457 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:01,720 WHIRRING 458 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:10,640 I love it. 459 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,600 There you go. Thanks, pet. 460 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:19,560 Sugar, Agnes? 461 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:23,480 REVERSING ALARM 462 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,400 Writer's block, they call it. 463 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:29,600 Mm. 464 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,560 REVERSING ALARM 465 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:36,840 Lovely. 466 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,680 No biscuits, Agnes? No? 467 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,400 REVERSING ALARM 468 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,000 And then Cathy told me about the book club. 469 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,840 Mm-hm? 470 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,840 CHUCKLES 471 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,720 REVERSING ALARM 472 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,560 That's when it struck me. 473 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:01,960 I'm going to write a gossip column. 474 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,880 Do you know? I'd read that, Agnes. 475 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,400 Everybody would. Isn't Cathy very good, 476 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,360 letting you into her book club to get all the goss? 477 00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:12,080 No, no, I'm not telling Cathy. 478 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:13,520 No, I'm going to go undercover. 479 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,320 Like Boris Dildenski. 480 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,600 Who's he? 481 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,200 He's the spy in the book. 482 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,080 Oh... He walks in the shadows, 483 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,480 and he travels the world silently. 484 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,520 Oh...And he uses a wire to gather information. 485 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:29,920 What's a wire? 486 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:32,160 In the spy business, we call it 487 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,400 a bug. 488 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,600 And where would you get one of those, Agnes? 489 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,760 I don't know. Mm... 490 00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:40,600 But I think I know somebody who might. 491 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,320 Buster Brady. 492 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,200 Buster? 493 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,720 Hello. 494 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:57,520 Call me Karlos with a K. 495 00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:58,680 Why a K? 496 00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:00,640 Cos I'm a special agent, get it? 497 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:01,960 No. 498 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,640 Special K. 499 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:11,600 I need a listening device to secretly record people. 500 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,240 I have just the thing. 501 00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:16,360 A 4K digital microphone, made in Mexico, 502 00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:18,200 the hub of the tech industry. 503 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:21,040 Is it discreet? Nobody'll suspect a thing, Mrs Brown. 504 00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,280 Don't call me Mrs Brown. 505 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:26,360 Call me...Marietta. 506 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,800 Nobody'll suspect a thing, Marietta. 507 00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,120 It's hidden in the rim of a hat. 508 00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:39,680 CLATTERING 509 00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:51,840 Hello. 510 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,440 Is this it? 511 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,840 No, it's rubbish, just put it in the other bin. 512 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,200 PANTS 513 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:04,880 And, silently, she vanished into the night. 514 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,440 CACKLES QUIETLY 515 00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:08,920 REVERSING ALARM 516 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:12,800 LOUD CRASH 517 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:14,840 DOG BARKS 518 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:19,280 QUIET CHATTER 519 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,160 You all right, Mammy? 520 00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:27,720 Si, senorita! 521 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:31,880 Are we going to talk about the hat? 522 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,520 What hat? 523 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:35,200 Oh! 524 00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,000 I saw this in Vogue, 525 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,440 they're going to be all the rage this season. 526 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,600 Testes, one, two, 527 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,600 testing, uno, dos, uno, dos, tres. 528 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,040 Right, are we starting or what? 529 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:50,360 Yes. 530 00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:52,520 So, what's everyone's opinion of the book this week? 531 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,240 Well, I thought it was... 532 00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:57,480 Terrible. A tedious read that failed to capture my interest 533 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,040 or deliver any meaningful substance. 534 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,120 Yeah, it was muck, but in a good way. 535 00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:04,240 Were we all reading the same book? 536 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,120 I thought it was fabulous. 537 00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:09,040 Yeah, but Mrs Brown, did you buy into the relationship 538 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:10,560 between the two protagonists? 539 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,880 Yes! You know, he was handsome, 540 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,000 she was horny. Works for me. 541 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:21,040 Seriously, Mammy, at one stage they made love in a coal shed. 542 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:22,320 Who does that? 543 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:23,480 Yes. 544 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:27,760 Me and your father, Cathy. 545 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,320 Every Tuesday night after the darts. 546 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,280 She's kidding. 547 00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:35,720 I'm not kidding. 548 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,960 How do you think your father got the black lung? 549 00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:44,040 OK, let's get back to it. The President's Kama Sutra. 550 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:45,840 Well, it was a piece of trash, 551 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,600 not worth the paper it was written on, too dirty. 552 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:49,840 What's it called again? 553 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,240 Hilliary, I saw you reading it, you were loving it. 554 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,120 Well, I gave it every chance. 555 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,840 Seriously, the book, what's it called? 556 00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:00,520 Father Damien, you loved it. 557 00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:02,600 And what about you, Dr Flynn? 558 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,640 Oh, well, yes, I-I do take Mrs Nicholson's point but... 559 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,120 Well, that's that, then. 560 00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:09,320 Review over. 561 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,200 We've only just started. 562 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,200 So, did you hear the rumour? 563 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,440 Scratch that. 564 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,240 What, what, what, what rumour? 565 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:20,600 Well, one of the local policemen is 566 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:21,800 moonlighting as a stripper. 567 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:23,080 AUDIENCE MEMBERS WOLF WHISTLE 568 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,640 - No! - I wouldn't mind booking HIM! 569 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:28,680 Hold on, Sharon. 570 00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:31,080 COUGHS 571 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,040 Testes, one, two. 572 00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:36,800 - Say that again. - I wouldn't mind booking HIM. 573 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,840 Yes, I've heard you like a man in a uniform. 574 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:43,640 What's that supposed to mean? 575 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,640 Oh, for God's sake. 576 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,640 REVERSING ALARM 577 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,320 Nothing, it's just a rumour. 578 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,200 Can youse all not talk at the same time? 579 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:53,440 I'm not on wheel... 580 00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:54,880 No, well, I am on wheels. 581 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,800 I-I can't be in two places at one time. 582 00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,760 Now, look, just for clarity, Maria, 583 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,400 you were talking about Garda Fergusson, am I right? 584 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:07,840 Well... I heard a very salacious story at my surgery the other day. 585 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:08,920 Hold it! 586 00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:11,880 BEEPING 587 00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:13,400 MOTOR SLOWS AND STOPS 588 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:14,760 Feck's sake. 589 00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:17,880 LAUGHTER 590 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,440 APPLAUSE 591 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:23,400 Mrs Brown! 592 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:24,920 You're walking! 593 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:27,840 Oh, my God, I can walk! 594 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:29,440 I can walk! 595 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:31,160 It's a miracle! 596 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,360 It's a "miracaley"! 597 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:35,080 It's a miracle. 598 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:36,360 Amazing! 599 00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:37,560 Oh, my God. 600 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,680 I don't have to clean! 601 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:41,800 I cured her! Again! 602 00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:44,960 That's nice. 603 00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:55,360 # Cucaracha, cucaracha 604 00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:57,480 # La-la la-la la-la-la. # 605 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:03,200 I can't believe you let us believe you were... 606 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:04,600 Let you believe?! 607 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,720 I was in pain 24/7. 608 00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:09,440 I don't know how I didn't give up. 609 00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:10,600 AUDIENCE: Aww! 610 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,080 Thank you. 611 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:13,720 LAUGHTER 612 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:15,760 Well, you're all right now. 613 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,480 So, we can get rid of that scooter. 614 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,800 You can get rid of the scooter but I'm keeping me chair. 615 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:23,560 WHIRRING 616 00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:28,160 CRUNCH! MECHANISM ROARS 617 00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:29,800 Argh! 618 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:30,840 Ah! 619 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:33,640 Oh... 620 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,440 Who has the TV remote? 621 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:38,520 Ugh... 622 00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,160 Put on the football, Dermot. 623 00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,520 And what would the world be like without the odd miracle, eh? 624 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,000 Believe it or not, when I crashed into that table, 625 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,440 it fixed me back! 626 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:54,080 CACKLES 627 00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:57,880 Oh, I didn't do the gossip column. 628 00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,400 No, I did a review of this. 629 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:03,680 Huge readership. Huge! 630 00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:06,800 You know, my mother used to say, 631 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:08,200 "People who listen to gossip 632 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,320 "will eventually hear bad about themselves." 633 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:11,440 Mm. 634 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,720 Did I tell you about Father Damien 635 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,120 and the dead sheep? 636 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,120 No, I shouldn't. 637 00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:22,240 Goodnight. 638 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:27,040 # Say hello to the queen of Dublin town 639 00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:33,360 # As the best mum of all she wears the crown 640 00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:37,520 # Mother hen watching all her chicks 641 00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:40,320 # Sassy old lady full of tricks 642 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:46,360 # It's a safe bet she'd never let life get her down 643 00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:49,400 # She's Mrs Brown Agnes... # 644 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:50,520 Goodnight! 645 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,080 # That's Mrs Brown Agnes 646 00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,920 # Our Mrs Brown. # 647 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,280 MRS BROWN CACKLES 647 00:28:59,305 --> 00:29:59,374