"The PJs" Parole Officer and a Gentleman

1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 The Pjs - Parole Officer and a Gentleman IMDB ID#0182621 DDDBBB, v1.0, 08/06/25 23.976 FPS 2 00:00:00,560 --> 00:00:03,820 <i>♪ Once upon a time in the projects ♪</i> 3 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:06,420 <i>♪ PJ's! ♪</i> 4 00:00:06,721 --> 00:00:07,520 <i>♪ Projects! ♪</i> 5 00:00:07,540 --> 00:00:08,840 <i>♪ Low rent high rise, y'all! ♪</i> 6 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:10,280 <i>♪ PJ's! ♪</i> 7 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:12,400 <i>♪ Projects! ♪</i> 8 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:13,740 <i>♪ Living in the PJ's! ♪</i> 9 00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:18,561 <i>♪ Holding down the cardboard condo Homeboy and a homemade bungalow ♪</i> 10 00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:22,940 <i>♪ In the middle of the end of a dead-end one way street. ♪</i> 11 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:29,100 <i>♪ Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya Living in the PJ's! ♪</i> 12 00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:31,740 <i>♪ PJ's! ♪</i> 13 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:39,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 14 00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:05,850 So, give it up! 15 00:01:08,290 --> 00:01:10,390 Man, that's the quiet stomp. 16 00:01:10,630 --> 00:01:13,810 Walter, that is one nasty bass line. 17 00:01:14,170 --> 00:01:16,350 Eat your heart out, beginning of Barney Miller. 18 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:21,370 So Thurgood, you feel inspired to write some of your smooth daddy lyrics? 19 00:01:21,690 --> 00:01:23,210 Hey, we a songwriting team, ain't we? 20 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,530 Just like Rogers and Hammer Time. 21 00:01:25,530 --> 00:01:25,930 Yeah. 22 00:01:26,230 --> 00:01:30,170 You boys are playing so hot, I thought you might want a little ice cream to cool you down. 23 00:01:30,650 --> 00:01:33,050 Well, all right, that's what I'm talking about, Muriel. 24 00:01:33,870 --> 00:01:35,390 I'll have a dream...sicle! 25 00:01:35,414 --> 00:01:37,414 [ laughing... ] 26 00:01:38,370 --> 00:01:39,750 Mm-hmm, yeah, that's good. 27 00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,210 I know this is gonna hit the spot. 28 00:01:42,634 --> 00:01:43,134 Augh! 29 00:01:43,510 --> 00:01:45,870 Thurgood, is that tooth of yours acting up again? 30 00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:46,630 No. 31 00:01:46,890 --> 00:01:49,590 I told you, you need to go see a dentist. 32 00:01:50,070 --> 00:01:52,690 And I told you that dentists are for sissy boys. 33 00:01:52,970 --> 00:01:54,086 I mean, think about it, Muriel. 34 00:01:54,110 --> 00:01:56,550 Who are the toughest, most rugged macho men on Earth? 35 00:01:56,690 --> 00:01:57,330 The British. 36 00:01:57,570 --> 00:01:58,770 And do they go to the dentist? 37 00:01:59,110 --> 00:01:59,590 Rarely. 38 00:01:59,630 --> 00:02:03,130 And if the British don't go, then I ain't going to the dentist neither. 39 00:02:03,730 --> 00:02:05,030 How's Tuesday at nine? 40 00:02:05,354 --> 00:02:06,154 [ crunch ] Augh!! 41 00:02:07,310 --> 00:02:08,690 Better make it eight. 42 00:02:10,490 --> 00:02:12,010 Alrighty, Mr. Stubbs. 43 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,970 Let's open wide, shall we? 44 00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:15,250 Augh, augh! 45 00:02:16,430 --> 00:02:17,690 Great Caesar's ghost. 46 00:02:17,810 --> 00:02:19,070 You never get used to that. 47 00:02:20,250 --> 00:02:21,250 Nurse Clamp. 48 00:02:22,130 --> 00:02:23,170 Much better. 49 00:02:26,370 --> 00:02:27,370 Doctor, stop! 50 00:02:27,710 --> 00:02:29,350 He's got HUD dental insurance. 51 00:02:29,910 --> 00:02:30,910 HUD insurance? 52 00:02:31,910 --> 00:02:34,610 Why don't you just try and pay me in beaver pelts? 53 00:02:34,770 --> 00:02:35,770 Get out. 54 00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:41,450 Boy, that really chaps my ass. 55 00:02:41,710 --> 00:02:44,830 After all you've done for HUD, they should take care of you. 56 00:02:45,030 --> 00:02:46,270 It just ain't right. 57 00:02:46,690 --> 00:02:47,730 Dentists are whack. 58 00:02:48,010 --> 00:02:49,983 You notice whenever a black tooth moves 59 00:02:50,007 --> 00:02:52,450 into the neighborhood, they yank it right out. 60 00:02:52,451 --> 00:02:54,030 You know, I just had a thought. 61 00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:56,938 If I arrange a way for you to land in jail, 62 00:02:56,962 --> 00:02:59,650 then you'll be entitled to receive free dental care. 63 00:03:00,150 --> 00:03:02,090 Prisoners get free dental care? 64 00:03:02,470 --> 00:03:02,950 Sure. 65 00:03:03,470 --> 00:03:07,070 It's one of the essential civil rights that guarantee those filthy animals. 66 00:03:07,490 --> 00:03:08,430 Well, that's just crazy. 67 00:03:08,431 --> 00:03:09,646 I ain't purposely going to jail. 68 00:03:09,670 --> 00:03:11,750 And besides, it's opening weekend for arena football. 69 00:03:11,810 --> 00:03:13,490 You'll only be in a couple of days. 70 00:03:13,810 --> 00:03:16,370 Look, those prison dentists do pretty good work. 71 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:17,790 Here, I'll show you. 72 00:03:18,010 --> 00:03:19,010 Smokey. 73 00:03:22,890 --> 00:03:25,870 Smokey, show Thurgood what they did to you in lockup. 74 00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:30,790 Okay, but it may be too intense for younger viewers. 75 00:03:31,190 --> 00:03:32,470 No, no, not that. 76 00:03:32,690 --> 00:03:33,850 Show him your teeth. 77 00:03:34,210 --> 00:03:35,610 Oh, okay. 78 00:03:37,130 --> 00:03:39,310 Wow, look at them Pearl-bellied whites. 79 00:03:39,770 --> 00:03:42,050 All right now, Thurgood, check this out. 80 00:03:42,370 --> 00:03:46,170 Mr. Cole down at the 99-cent liquor store owes me a favor. 81 00:03:46,590 --> 00:03:50,491 Suppose I get him to accuse you of shoplifting a bottle of rum. 82 00:03:50,890 --> 00:03:54,590 You spend a day in jail and get your tooth all fixed up. 83 00:03:55,070 --> 00:03:56,930 Then my friend drops the charges. 84 00:03:57,170 --> 00:04:01,850 And quicker than you can say Willie Horton, you'll be out that revolving door. 85 00:04:04,130 --> 00:04:04,730 Augh! 86 00:04:05,660 --> 00:04:08,160 <i>Come back here! I'll kill you.</i> 87 00:04:08,184 --> 00:04:10,184 <i>[ gunshots fired... ]</i> Augh! 88 00:04:11,260 --> 00:04:12,400 Nice work, Cole. 89 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:13,440 <i>Yeah, whatever.</i> 90 00:04:13,780 --> 00:04:14,580 <i>Now we're even.</i> 91 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:15,720 <i>You leave me alone.</i> 92 00:04:18,220 --> 00:04:19,400 Dude what you in for? 93 00:04:19,980 --> 00:04:20,720 A triple murder. 94 00:04:20,980 --> 00:04:21,980 You? 95 00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:23,100 Root Canal. 96 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:23,800 Dang. 97 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:27,020 They locking up brothers for anything these days. 98 00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:29,800 Okay, Stubbs, it's time. 99 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:33,200 All right. 100 00:04:33,280 --> 00:04:34,280 I'm going to the chair. 101 00:04:34,460 --> 00:04:35,460 Dang. 102 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,680 I'll be praying for you, dawg. 103 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:39,960 Okay. 104 00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:42,580 Let me just wash my hands and... Oh, screw it. 105 00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:43,400 Hey, wait. 106 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:44,500 I know you. 107 00:04:44,540 --> 00:04:45,060 Oops. 108 00:04:45,220 --> 00:04:46,220 You caught me. 109 00:04:46,980 --> 00:04:49,400 Yes, I moonlight here in prison. 110 00:04:49,980 --> 00:04:52,500 It's my way of giving something back to the community. 111 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,866 Plus, they allow me to perform certain 112 00:04:54,890 --> 00:04:59,281 experimental procedures that the ADA wouldn't approve. 113 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:02,460 Now, just open your mouth. 114 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:03,160 Relax. 115 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,240 Don't fight it. 116 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:05,680 I'll be done before you know it. 117 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:07,840 Listen to me. 118 00:05:08,020 --> 00:05:09,880 I sound like a guard. 119 00:05:09,904 --> 00:05:11,496 [ laughing ] 120 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,180 You have to pump this gas up, doc. 121 00:05:13,220 --> 00:05:13,860 I don't feel nothing. 122 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:14,780 It's just like I... 123 00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:17,360 <i>[ snoring ]</i> 124 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:25,760 Hi Honey. How'd it go in prison? Did they fix your tooth? 125 00:05:25,884 --> 00:05:26,884 Uh, you tell me! 126 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,580 Help! Get him off! Get him off! 127 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:51,360 Well, Mr. Stubbs, the owner of that liquor store dropped the charges. 128 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:53,881 But during your two hours of incarceration, 129 00:05:53,905 --> 00:05:56,360 you managed to brutally assault the prison dentist. 130 00:05:56,460 --> 00:05:59,360 I have no choice but to sentence you to 30 days. 131 00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:00,700 What? 30 days? 132 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:02,160 I can't do no 30 days. 133 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:03,720 I'll miss the first and the fifteenth. 134 00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:05,180 Don't you care about my welfare? 135 00:06:05,260 --> 00:06:06,300 Walter, help me, please! 136 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:07,980 This'll just take a minute. 137 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,104 <i>[ whispering ]</i> 138 00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:17,300 Uh, well, it seems that what I meant to say was I sentence you to 60... 139 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:21,015 ...40 hours of community service? and place you on 140 00:06:21,039 --> 00:06:23,840 parole to be personally supervised by Officer Burkett. 141 00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:25,880 You the man, you're bad, my boy, you're bad. 142 00:06:26,020 --> 00:06:27,020 Shh, quiet. 143 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:29,040 I'll expect a report in 30 days. 144 00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:30,300 Court dismissed! 145 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:31,960 Now we're even. 146 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,320 You leave me and my family alone. 147 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,000 That went well. 148 00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:45,590 Thurgood! 149 00:06:46,951 --> 00:06:47,951 Thurgood, wake up! 150 00:06:49,790 --> 00:06:50,450 Walter! 151 00:06:50,851 --> 00:06:51,851 8 AM! 152 00:06:51,910 --> 00:06:54,246 Man, what's the idea of waking me up in the middle of the night? 153 00:06:54,270 --> 00:06:55,950 You have community service today. 154 00:06:56,230 --> 00:06:57,130 Come on, get up. 155 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,770 You gotta pay your debt to society. 156 00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:02,170 Yeah, well, tell society to get in line behind Sears and Discovery. 157 00:07:02,210 --> 00:07:03,706 You must be crazy, I'm going back to sleep. 158 00:07:04,850 --> 00:07:06,210 Now come on, man, I'm serious. 159 00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:07,950 Didn't you hear what the judge said? 160 00:07:08,510 --> 00:07:10,626 Well, sure I heard, but there ain't no judges out here. 161 00:07:10,650 --> 00:07:12,026 Walter, it's just me and you, alright? 162 00:07:12,050 --> 00:07:13,450 Ain't no need to dance for the man. 163 00:07:13,890 --> 00:07:14,986 Now, I don't think you understand. 164 00:07:15,010 --> 00:07:15,850 This is my job. 165 00:07:15,950 --> 00:07:17,270 I take it very seriously. 166 00:07:17,690 --> 00:07:20,829 Now, I got a whole trash detail outside, and I need 167 00:07:20,853 --> 00:07:24,370 every one of my probationers present and accounted for. 168 00:07:24,590 --> 00:07:25,990 Do I make myself clear? 169 00:07:26,350 --> 00:07:27,270 I got you, brother. 170 00:07:27,290 --> 00:07:28,450 The boss man's watching over. 171 00:07:28,510 --> 00:07:29,250 Don't you sweat it. 172 00:07:29,251 --> 00:07:29,970 I'm gonna make you look good. 173 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:30,350 Alright? 174 00:07:30,530 --> 00:07:30,790 Alright. 175 00:07:31,010 --> 00:07:31,450 It's all good. 176 00:07:31,670 --> 00:07:32,670 One love. 177 00:07:36,210 --> 00:07:37,210 Ow! 178 00:07:37,710 --> 00:07:39,310 Thurgood, now. 179 00:07:56,570 --> 00:07:58,410 Ain't nothin' like jammin' to work up a thirst. 180 00:07:58,890 --> 00:07:59,970 Jimmy, toss me a 40. 181 00:08:02,930 --> 00:08:04,230 Oh, no you don't. 182 00:08:04,290 --> 00:08:05,290 Hey, what gives? 183 00:08:05,870 --> 00:08:10,090 Parolees can't drink, gamble, or associate with known criminals. 184 00:08:10,330 --> 00:08:11,430 You know that. 185 00:08:13,870 --> 00:08:14,870 No! 186 00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,630 Come back, my pretties. 187 00:08:18,170 --> 00:08:20,050 Hey, are we gonna play or what? 188 00:08:28,530 --> 00:08:29,810 Oops. Sorry, Thurgood. 189 00:08:29,970 --> 00:08:32,110 It's time for your court-mandated urine test. 190 00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:33,890 What? Mandatory urine test? 191 00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:36,590 Ha! You have got to be tellin' me a joke. 192 00:08:36,970 --> 00:08:37,730 No, sir. 193 00:08:37,890 --> 00:08:39,790 I'm always serious about pee-pee. 194 00:08:40,050 --> 00:08:41,130 Now aim for the cup. 195 00:08:42,330 --> 00:08:43,330 Alright, Waltz, listen. 196 00:08:43,470 --> 00:08:44,510 We just kickin' back here. 197 00:08:44,630 --> 00:08:45,990 Will you cut out this parole crap? 198 00:08:46,050 --> 00:08:48,950 I hope you ain't playin' on actin' like this this Sunday at the arena football game. 199 00:08:49,210 --> 00:08:50,450 What arena football game? 200 00:08:50,750 --> 00:08:51,870 You know, the season opener. 201 00:08:51,910 --> 00:08:54,590 Our very own Tri-City Nuances playin' the San Francisco treat. 202 00:08:55,010 --> 00:08:55,410 Yeah? 203 00:08:55,630 --> 00:08:56,990 Well, I got a treat for you. 204 00:08:57,190 --> 00:08:59,830 You're gonna be finishin' your community service on Sunday. 205 00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:01,290 Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 206 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,291 Now what happened here? 207 00:09:02,330 --> 00:09:05,190 This all started with you tellin' me to trust you and that everything was gonna be fine. 208 00:09:05,310 --> 00:09:07,270 That I'd get my tooth fixed and get off scot-free. 209 00:09:07,550 --> 00:09:09,110 Sure, that was the plan. 210 00:09:09,310 --> 00:09:11,650 But that was before you went Ike Turner on that dentist. 211 00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:12,390 That wasn't my fault. 212 00:09:12,410 --> 00:09:13,490 I was whacked out on drugs. 213 00:09:13,630 --> 00:09:16,190 Now look, I've been real patient with this parole crap up to now. 214 00:09:16,330 --> 00:09:17,410 Mainly as a favor to you. 215 00:09:17,570 --> 00:09:20,630 But now you gonna do me a favor and let me out a day early. 216 00:09:21,470 --> 00:09:22,470 No. 217 00:09:23,950 --> 00:09:26,330 Now drop him and give me 20 milliliters. 218 00:09:33,230 --> 00:09:37,670 It just won't seem like arena football without Thurgood throwin' up next to us. 219 00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:39,010 Hey, wait for me! 220 00:09:40,530 --> 00:09:43,750 Don't you all go to the game without the number one fan of the Tri-City Nuance. 221 00:09:44,530 --> 00:09:45,990 Walter said you can't go. 222 00:09:46,270 --> 00:09:46,890 The hell I can't. 223 00:09:46,990 --> 00:09:49,808 Look, there ain't no force in heaven or hell that's gonna keep 224 00:09:49,832 --> 00:09:52,650 me from seein' Lou Ferrigno score his 100th career side punt. 225 00:09:52,950 --> 00:09:55,150 But Walter said... -Forget all about Walter. 226 00:09:55,151 --> 00:09:55,810 I forgot about him. 227 00:09:55,890 --> 00:09:56,390 Don't worry. 228 00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:57,470 I got a plan. 229 00:09:58,530 --> 00:09:59,410 Hey, Smokey. 230 00:09:59,430 --> 00:09:59,870 Smokey! 231 00:09:59,930 --> 00:10:01,290 How'd you like to earn five bucks? 232 00:10:02,290 --> 00:10:02,930 Walter! 233 00:10:03,310 --> 00:10:04,310 Walter! 234 00:10:04,450 --> 00:10:05,590 It's terrible! 235 00:10:06,050 --> 00:10:08,590 Thurgood got hit with a flamethrower! 236 00:10:10,050 --> 00:10:10,370 What? 237 00:10:10,690 --> 00:10:15,070 He was cleaning graffiti off a wall, you know, to fulfill his community service. 238 00:10:15,390 --> 00:10:17,690 When some gang members fried him! 239 00:10:17,990 --> 00:10:19,390 It was horrible! 240 00:10:19,990 --> 00:10:21,970 You'd think he smelled bad before. 241 00:10:22,470 --> 00:10:23,690 Oh my God. 242 00:10:23,830 --> 00:10:24,830 My friend. 243 00:10:25,010 --> 00:10:26,070 I've gotta go to him. 244 00:10:26,130 --> 00:10:27,270 What hospital is he in? 245 00:10:27,750 --> 00:10:30,930 Uh, well, he's not exactly in a hospital. 246 00:10:34,270 --> 00:10:35,430 Hey, old friend. 247 00:10:36,630 --> 00:10:37,630 How's it going? 248 00:10:38,454 --> 00:10:40,454 Mmm. mmm mmm... 249 00:10:40,830 --> 00:10:43,170 I am so sorry this happened, Thurgood. 250 00:10:43,330 --> 00:10:45,670 I can't help but feel somehow responsible. 251 00:10:46,030 --> 00:10:48,850 I want you to know if there's anything I can do... 252 00:10:49,770 --> 00:10:50,770 What? 253 00:10:51,830 --> 00:10:53,150 Oh, I see. 254 00:10:53,230 --> 00:10:54,490 You need some morphine? 255 00:10:57,210 --> 00:10:57,770 There. 256 00:10:58,771 --> 00:11:00,170 Does that feel better? 257 00:11:02,710 --> 00:11:03,150 More? 258 00:11:03,151 --> 00:11:04,151 Okay. 259 00:11:07,410 --> 00:11:07,850 Wow. 260 00:11:08,110 --> 00:11:09,710 You must really be in pain. 261 00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:10,930 ... 262 00:11:12,510 --> 00:11:14,210 Hey, I know what you would like. 263 00:11:14,330 --> 00:11:17,010 How about a little arena football to lift your spirits? 264 00:11:17,430 --> 00:11:19,150 Let's see if you can get channel 69. 265 00:11:19,910 --> 00:11:20,910 ... 266 00:11:21,090 --> 00:11:22,090 There we go. 267 00:11:22,470 --> 00:11:25,770 Boy, I guess if I'd let you go to that game, none of this would've happened. 268 00:11:26,210 --> 00:11:27,690 You would've been there right now. 269 00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:29,230 Having fun! 270 00:11:29,650 --> 00:11:31,110 ... Like that guy. 271 00:11:35,170 --> 00:11:36,170 What the? 272 00:11:40,940 --> 00:11:42,940 Uh... Ut. 273 00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:48,159 This might just be the morphine talking, 274 00:11:48,183 --> 00:11:51,170 but can I have some more morphine? 275 00:11:51,771 --> 00:11:52,371 [ SLAM ] 276 00:11:52,810 --> 00:11:56,810 <i>And now it's time to announce today's lucky winner</i> 277 00:11:56,834 --> 00:11:59,234 <i>of the Toyota 4x4 give-away...</i> 278 00:11:59,658 --> 00:12:02,158 <i>and the lucky winner is</i> 279 00:12:02,220 --> 00:12:07,220 <i>Section 26, seat 3-1-4</i> 280 00:12:07,881 --> 00:12:09,081 Yay! I won... 281 00:12:13,180 --> 00:12:15,120 Now, Walter, take it easy. 282 00:12:15,260 --> 00:12:15,920 I can explain. 283 00:12:16,260 --> 00:12:18,440 See, I'm not really Thurgood. 284 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:19,840 Shut your hole, meat sock! 285 00:12:20,060 --> 00:12:21,700 You were in violation of your parole. 286 00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:27,600 Thurgood, why do you insist on pushing me 287 00:12:27,612 --> 00:12:31,000 into that place I really don't wanna go? 288 00:12:31,020 --> 00:12:33,320 It's such a dark, cold place. 289 00:12:33,180 --> 00:12:34,180 Me pushing you? 290 00:12:34,660 --> 00:12:36,336 You're the one that's been riding me all week! 291 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:39,400 That's because unlike you, I pride myself on my job. 292 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:39,900 Ha! 293 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:40,880 That's a laugh. 294 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,080 You're the most corrupt probation officer in the city. 295 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:43,540 Corrupt? 296 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:44,900 How can you say that? 297 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:46,160 Oh, come now. 298 00:12:46,220 --> 00:12:47,820 Don't you play Mr. Clean around me. 299 00:12:47,940 --> 00:12:49,840 You have railroaded more people than Amtrak. 300 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,616 Now all of a sudden when it comes to me, you wanna find your conscience. 301 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:53,716 Well, where was it, Walter? 302 00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:56,300 Stuffed in your trunk with a garbage bag wrapped around his head? 303 00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:58,820 Okay, Thurgood. 304 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:00,200 It's true. 305 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:03,940 You know, when I was a cop, I saw that the justice system didn't always work. 306 00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:06,340 Sometimes it needed a little help from me. 307 00:13:06,380 --> 00:13:10,448 But when I voluntarily accepted forced retirement, 308 00:13:10,472 --> 00:13:13,340 I went over to the penal system, where things do work. 309 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:16,360 So I ain't into clearing the losers off the streets no more. 310 00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:20,960 Now I make productive people one loser at a time. 311 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:26,180 Why, you big, fat, four-eyed, self-righteous, bag of wind, fat boy! 312 00:13:26,380 --> 00:13:27,420 I violated my parole! 313 00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:28,240 Yeah, I violated it! 314 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:28,780 Walter saw what? 315 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,060 I violated big deal! 316 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,380 I violated it! 317 00:13:31,381 --> 00:13:31,900 What you gonna do? 318 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:33,080 Ground me? 319 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,720 Welcome to House Arrest! 320 00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:53,220 Whoa, Super! Cool house arrest bracelet! 321 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,240 Yeah! That's the Brojack 5000! 322 00:13:56,780 --> 00:13:59,500 Ooh, you must have been bad! 323 00:14:00,220 --> 00:14:02,560 We'll take a last look at it, boys, cause it's coming off. 324 00:14:02,780 --> 00:14:05,180 Brojack ain't no match for my KFC spork! 325 00:14:05,704 --> 00:14:07,704 [ BOING ] 326 00:14:08,860 --> 00:14:09,860 Oh! 327 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:12,360 Forget this. 328 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,100 I got important stuff to do. 329 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:15,440 I'll be down at Coogan's Pub. 330 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:17,800 Super, you better be careful. 331 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:20,660 You know what Officer Burkett said about leaving this area. 332 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:25,800 Oh, yeah, I'm real scared cause I'm stepping over some invisible line. 333 00:14:26,180 --> 00:14:27,620 I don't even know where the line is. 334 00:14:27,940 --> 00:14:31,920 And the big, old, bad cops, they gonna come and get me! 335 00:14:32,300 --> 00:14:33,300 Oh! 336 00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:36,440 What the hell's going on? 337 00:14:37,060 --> 00:14:38,680 Super, step back! 338 00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:41,980 You gotta step back over the line! 339 00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:43,340 Hurry! 340 00:14:46,140 --> 00:14:47,860 What the hell was that? 341 00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:51,500 The Brojack 5000 shocks you if you step outside the perimeter. 342 00:14:51,820 --> 00:14:53,120 Pretty cool, huh? 343 00:14:53,580 --> 00:14:54,620 No, this is ridiculous! 344 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,060 How am I supposed to know where the stupid line is? 345 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:01,440 Thank you. 346 00:15:01,540 --> 00:15:02,540 Have a nice day. 347 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,100 Well, now I know where that line is. 348 00:15:13,860 --> 00:15:16,660 Oh, if I spend another day in this damn house, I'll go crazy. 349 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:18,040 I'm so bored I could read. 350 00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:20,320 Just try to make the best of it, Goody. 351 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,100 Walter won't let me drink. 352 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:23,216 He won't let me go to the track. 353 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:27,101 He won't even let me play craps because the guy who runs the game is a convicted con man, Muriel. 354 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,880 Those aren't necessarily bad suggestions. 355 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:31,520 How can you support him? 356 00:15:31,620 --> 00:15:32,860 He's completely out of control. 357 00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:34,560 Thurgood, Walter's your friend. 358 00:15:34,740 --> 00:15:36,260 He's just doing his job. 359 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,480 No friend of mine would have a job. 360 00:15:38,481 --> 00:15:39,481 He's a monster. 361 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:42,086 He's Frankenberry, Booberry, and Count Chocula 362 00:15:42,110 --> 00:15:44,280 all rolled into one sweet tasting cereal of hate. 363 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:45,800 with evil marshmallows, Muriel. 364 00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:46,920 <i>Evil</i> marshmallows. 365 00:15:47,060 --> 00:15:47,740 And you know what else? 366 00:15:47,860 --> 00:15:49,480 It's time the whole world knew it. 367 00:16:11,710 --> 00:16:12,710 Oh dear. 368 00:16:12,876 --> 00:16:15,266 It appears I have dropped a can of cling peaches 369 00:16:15,289 --> 00:16:17,715 that I was about to donate to the poorer. 370 00:16:17,736 --> 00:16:20,056 I must pick it up so that others may eat. 371 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:22,580 <i>[ Beep beep beep ]</i> 372 00:16:22,616 --> 00:16:25,116 Oh, my stars. I believe I am a scofflaw. 373 00:16:25,140 --> 00:16:26,172 <i>[ Siren ]</i> 374 00:16:27,796 --> 00:16:32,596 How many times have I got to tell you not to leave the confinement zone? 375 00:16:32,796 --> 00:16:34,796 Now what am I going to do with you? 376 00:16:35,236 --> 00:16:36,236 I'll be good, boss. 377 00:16:36,516 --> 00:16:38,196 Just don't put me back in that box, please. 378 00:16:38,516 --> 00:16:39,996 Please, please, boss, please. 379 00:16:40,116 --> 00:16:40,876 Not the box. 380 00:16:41,016 --> 00:16:42,416 Lord, lord, lord, no. 381 00:16:42,716 --> 00:16:43,716 Knock it off, Thurgood. 382 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,640 <i>[ Zap ]</i> Augh! 383 00:16:49,996 --> 00:16:51,477 Help! Police brutality! 384 00:16:51,776 --> 00:16:53,656 Somebody please do something! 385 00:16:54,576 --> 00:16:56,956 Why are you persecuting this poor man? 386 00:16:57,256 --> 00:16:58,336 He wasn't doing anything. 387 00:16:58,656 --> 00:16:59,836 People call me a pig. 388 00:17:00,196 --> 00:17:01,396 You're the pig. 389 00:17:01,420 --> 00:17:02,992 <i>[ laughs with a snort ]</i> 390 00:17:03,016 --> 00:17:04,056 I'm not a pig. 391 00:17:04,396 --> 00:17:05,856 What's wrong with you people? 392 00:17:06,156 --> 00:17:08,496 What do you mean, you people? 393 00:17:08,856 --> 00:17:09,896 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 394 00:17:10,076 --> 00:17:11,656 I babysat for some of you. 395 00:17:11,856 --> 00:17:13,536 I even changed your diapers. 396 00:17:13,836 --> 00:17:16,196 Yeah, and you stuck me three times. 397 00:17:16,396 --> 00:17:17,216 You sadist. 398 00:17:17,316 --> 00:17:18,356 Now beat it. 399 00:17:18,596 --> 00:17:19,876 Yeah, <i>Fascisto</i>. 400 00:17:20,116 --> 00:17:21,496 I spit on you. 401 00:17:22,811 --> 00:17:23,311 Oh! 402 00:17:23,836 --> 00:17:24,836 Sorry, Thurgood. 403 00:17:25,296 --> 00:17:26,516 All right, Thurgood. 404 00:17:26,776 --> 00:17:28,836 If this is the way you want to play it, fine. 405 00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:30,556 What do we do, Super? 406 00:17:30,776 --> 00:17:32,444 What do you do any time you see one of 407 00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:33,856 your own being hassled by the man? 408 00:17:35,476 --> 00:17:37,036 Now you're gonna learn your lesson. 409 00:17:37,416 --> 00:17:39,716 Tell me you're getting this, Juicy. Tell me. 410 00:17:39,736 --> 00:17:40,616 I'm getting it. 411 00:17:40,716 --> 00:17:41,816 Baby, call the networks. 412 00:17:42,156 --> 00:17:44,236 Tell them we got the next Rodney King video. 413 00:17:44,796 --> 00:17:47,156 Take a good look around you, Walter. 414 00:17:47,336 --> 00:17:50,956 Cause once these tapes get out, you can kiss your job goodbye. 415 00:17:50,957 --> 00:17:51,957 Well... 416 00:17:52,996 --> 00:17:54,416 Now hold on, everyone. 417 00:17:54,656 --> 00:17:56,396 This is all by the book. 418 00:17:56,596 --> 00:17:59,556 Tell it to your cellmates, <i>Stacey Koon</i>. 419 00:17:59,556 --> 00:18:02,016 You know I'm just doing my job here, right? 420 00:18:02,076 --> 00:18:02,936 Sure, sure, we know. 421 00:18:03,036 --> 00:18:04,036 Here, hold this. 422 00:18:04,796 --> 00:18:06,657 <i>[ Smokey over megaphone ] Good. Okay.</i> 423 00:18:06,716 --> 00:18:07,716 Here's your motivation. 424 00:18:08,156 --> 00:18:11,316 Super's just stolen your crack and you're angry. 425 00:18:11,736 --> 00:18:13,536 You HATE him. 426 00:18:14,196 --> 00:18:17,496 Feel that rage growing inside you. 427 00:18:18,496 --> 00:18:19,496 And... 428 00:18:20,176 --> 00:18:21,176 Action! 429 00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:22,796 Grrrrr... 430 00:18:24,976 --> 00:18:27,156 Go all nicotine on him, Thurgood. 431 00:18:27,376 --> 00:18:28,716 Rip his throat out! 432 00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:31,596 Look out, Thurgood! 433 00:18:31,836 --> 00:18:33,076 He's got your plunger! 434 00:18:33,336 --> 00:18:34,576 Don't roll over! 435 00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:36,336 No, I said, don't! 436 00:18:36,656 --> 00:18:38,137 Ohhh... ... 437 00:18:39,461 --> 00:18:40,061 <i>[ beep beep beep ]</i> 438 00:18:40,685 --> 00:18:43,685 Augh! Augh! Augh! 439 00:19:06,506 --> 00:19:08,546 <i>[ Echoed voice announces ] This heavenly court is now in session.</i> 440 00:19:08,566 --> 00:19:12,066 <i>[ Echoed voice announces ] Judge Lawrence H God presiding.</i> 441 00:19:14,106 --> 00:19:16,886 <i>Step forward and speak your name.</i> 442 00:19:18,326 --> 00:19:19,886 Thurgood Stubbs, your cleanliness. 443 00:19:20,446 --> 00:19:23,226 <i>Welcome to heaven, Mr. Stub.</i> 444 00:19:23,326 --> 00:19:24,846 Um, that's Stubbs. 445 00:19:25,266 --> 00:19:27,126 <i>Oh, Stubbs.</i> 446 00:19:28,206 --> 00:19:30,726 <i>You are sentenced to the lake of fire.</i> 447 00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:31,650 Ut! 448 00:19:35,786 --> 00:19:38,826 <i>Walter. You can head on up to heaven.</i> 449 00:19:38,966 --> 00:19:40,306 What? But he's corrupt. 450 00:19:40,546 --> 00:19:41,866 How come he gets to go to heaven? 451 00:19:42,026 --> 00:19:44,226 <i>I'm sorry, I don't make the rules.</i> 452 00:19:44,506 --> 00:19:45,506 <i>Now go to hell!</i> 453 00:19:45,866 --> 00:19:48,866 <i>Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, that never gets old.</i> 454 00:19:49,246 --> 00:19:49,826 <i>GO!</i> 455 00:19:49,926 --> 00:19:51,706 Okay, alright, I'm going. 456 00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,226 Uh, could I have a word with you, Larry? 457 00:20:02,486 --> 00:20:03,806 Uh, Lordarrah? 458 00:20:05,006 --> 00:20:08,026 This lake of fire thing seems a little on the harsh side. 459 00:20:08,226 --> 00:20:10,066 Couldn't you bend the rules a little for him? 460 00:20:10,506 --> 00:20:12,766 <i>Well, you didn't bend the rules for him.</i> 461 00:20:12,866 --> 00:20:13,886 <i>Why should I?</i> 462 00:20:16,210 --> 00:20:17,210 <i>[ whispering ]</i> 463 00:20:18,506 --> 00:20:21,146 <i>Stubbs, you can go to heaven.</i> 464 00:20:22,186 --> 00:20:23,666 <i>Okay, Walter, now we're even.</i> 465 00:20:23,786 --> 00:20:24,786 <i>You leave me alone.</i> 466 00:20:25,446 --> 00:20:28,306 Walter, you.. You saved me from hell? 467 00:20:28,786 --> 00:20:32,126 Well, I guess I was being too harsh on you during your parole. 468 00:20:32,666 --> 00:20:35,786 And maybe I went a little too far with that plunger. 469 00:20:37,806 --> 00:20:40,566 Look, Walter, I'm, uh, I'm sorry I called you corrupt. 470 00:20:41,246 --> 00:20:42,606 Forget about it, Thurgood. 471 00:20:42,966 --> 00:20:45,306 Hey, what do you say we go find Wilford Still? 472 00:20:45,486 --> 00:20:48,366 I bet he's got some fine-looking angels with him. 473 00:20:48,506 --> 00:20:49,506 Argh! 474 00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:54,206 I think he's coming around! 475 00:20:54,546 --> 00:20:55,566 Thurgood's still gone! 476 00:20:55,806 --> 00:20:56,826 I'm trying again! 477 00:21:03,346 --> 00:21:05,206 Hey, how'd we end up in hell? 478 00:21:05,506 --> 00:21:06,606 We ain't in hell. 479 00:21:06,806 --> 00:21:07,806 We're home. 480 00:21:07,906 --> 00:21:08,906 We're alive! 481 00:21:10,006 --> 00:21:13,306 Oh, Thurgood. Let's never kill each other again. 482 00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:14,926 I love you, man. 483 00:21:15,226 --> 00:21:16,726 I love all of you. 484 00:21:16,826 --> 00:21:17,986 I love life! 485 00:21:18,906 --> 00:21:21,126 Sanchez, you kiss me again, I'll kill you. 486 00:21:21,226 --> 00:21:22,906 Now give me back my gum. 487 00:21:25,130 --> 00:21:29,130 <i>[ sports game on TV ]</i> 488 00:21:30,846 --> 00:21:31,906 Oh, wait a minute. 489 00:21:32,026 --> 00:21:33,646 How come that guy's running backwards? 490 00:21:34,046 --> 00:21:35,226 Hey, this is arena football. 491 00:21:35,366 --> 00:21:37,246 Didn't you ever hear of a four-point conversion? 492 00:21:37,486 --> 00:21:38,486 Oh. 493 00:21:39,626 --> 00:21:41,366 Thurgood, I'm your best friend again, right? 494 00:21:41,606 --> 00:21:42,606 Right. 495 00:21:43,487 --> 00:21:44,906 Arena football sucks. 495 00:21:45,305 --> 00:22:45,387