"The Big Bang Theory" The Speckerman Recurrence

1 00:00:04,143 --> 00:00:07,154 Hi. Did Sheldon change the Wi-Fi password again? 2 00:00:07,706 --> 00:00:09,915 Yeah, it's "Penny already eats our food. 3 00:00:09,916 --> 00:00:12,517 She can pay for Wi-Fi." 4 00:00:13,271 --> 00:00:14,638 No spaces. 5 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:15,939 Okay. 6 00:00:15,941 --> 00:00:17,741 If you can't get me to stop eating your food, 7 00:00:17,743 --> 00:00:19,776 what makes you think you can get me to stop using your Wi-Fi? 8 00:00:19,778 --> 00:00:22,112 I believe that you're capable of great change. 9 00:00:22,114 --> 00:00:26,516 Like when I finally got you to stop saying "Valentimes Day"" 10 00:00:27,619 --> 00:00:28,759 You want to hear something weird? 11 00:00:28,784 --> 00:00:29,587 Sure. 12 00:00:29,588 --> 00:00:31,321 In the year 2000, 13 00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:36,627 Pope John Paul II was named an honorary Harlem Globetrotter. 14 00:00:38,429 --> 00:00:40,831 What are you talking about? 15 00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:43,967 You asked Penny if she wanted to hear something weird. 16 00:00:43,969 --> 00:00:46,570 Yeah, because I have something weird to tell her. 17 00:00:46,572 --> 00:00:48,005 Oh. 18 00:00:48,007 --> 00:00:50,240 I thought it was a game. 19 00:00:51,075 --> 00:00:52,843 What's yours? 20 00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:54,978 There's this guy, Jimmy Speckerman, 21 00:00:54,980 --> 00:00:57,214 who used to torment me in high school. 22 00:00:57,216 --> 00:00:59,182 He sent me a message through Facebook. 23 00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:01,551 He's in town and wants to have drinks. 24 00:01:01,553 --> 00:01:04,621 Okay, Penny, if it were a game, here are your choices. 25 00:01:04,623 --> 00:01:06,323 An e-mail from an old acquaintance, 26 00:01:06,325 --> 00:01:09,226 or the head of one of the largest religious institutions 27 00:01:09,228 --> 00:01:12,996 in the world slam dunking to "Sweet Georgia Brown." Pick. 28 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:19,102 Just do it, 'cause he's not gonna let it go. 29 00:01:19,104 --> 00:01:20,370 Basketball Pope. 30 00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:22,439 And that's how it's done. 31 00:01:23,975 --> 00:01:25,809 What are you gonna do about your bully? 32 00:01:25,811 --> 00:01:27,744 - Are you gonna see him? - I don't know. 33 00:01:27,746 --> 00:01:31,114 Is this the fellow who peed in your Hawaiian Punch? 34 00:01:31,116 --> 00:01:33,550 No, that was a different guy. 35 00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:35,986 Was he the one who wedgied you so hard, 36 00:01:35,988 --> 00:01:37,254 your testicle reascended, 37 00:01:37,256 --> 00:01:39,022 and you spent your whole Christmas break 38 00:01:39,024 --> 00:01:41,558 waiting for it to come back down? 39 00:01:43,594 --> 00:01:46,830 No, that was a different, different guy. 40 00:01:46,832 --> 00:01:50,834 Was he the one who used your head to open a nut? 41 00:01:50,836 --> 00:01:52,903 No. 42 00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:54,604 Oh, oh, oh. 43 00:01:54,606 --> 00:01:57,774 Was he the one who made you eat your arm hair? 44 00:01:58,843 --> 00:02:00,110 No, but, actually, 45 00:02:00,112 --> 00:02:01,912 that was this guy's sister. 46 00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,880 All right, well, what do you think he wants? 47 00:02:03,882 --> 00:02:05,115 I don't know. 48 00:02:05,117 --> 00:02:07,184 You know, the holidays are just around the corner. 49 00:02:07,186 --> 00:02:08,318 Maybe he wants to see 50 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:10,187 if he can lodge the other testicle up there. 51 00:02:10,189 --> 00:02:13,290 I told you. That was a different guy. 52 00:02:13,292 --> 00:02:15,359 Hmm. That's too bad. We could have spent 53 00:02:15,361 --> 00:02:18,195 New Year's Eve waiting for the ball to drop. 54 00:02:25,136 --> 00:02:28,805 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 55 00:02:28,807 --> 00:02:32,109 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 56 00:02:32,111 --> 00:02:33,710 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 57 00:02:33,712 --> 00:02:36,246 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 58 00:02:36,248 --> 00:02:38,949 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ <i>We built the pyramids</i> ♪ 59 00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:41,585 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 60 00:02:41,587 --> 00:02:43,520 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 61 00:02:43,522 --> 00:02:45,489 ♪ <i>Bang!</i> ♪ 62 00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:54,707 It's 2:00 a.m. What are you doing up? 63 00:02:54,709 --> 00:02:59,712 Nobel Prize acceptance ceremony streaming live from Stockholm. 64 00:02:59,714 --> 00:03:01,214 Sure. You want to see 65 00:03:01,216 --> 00:03:04,083 what all the scientists are wearing this year. 66 00:03:04,085 --> 00:03:05,985 Look at these men. 67 00:03:05,987 --> 00:03:09,255 They've managed to win the top science prize in the world 68 00:03:09,257 --> 00:03:12,091 with no more understanding of the quantum underpinnings 69 00:03:12,093 --> 00:03:14,193 of the expansion of the early universe 70 00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:16,262 than God gave a goose. 71 00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,098 You should pay attention, Leonard. 72 00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:20,933 Someday this could be you up there. 73 00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:23,336 Thanks. 74 00:03:23,338 --> 00:03:24,637 So, 75 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,139 what's got you up? 76 00:03:26,141 --> 00:03:28,574 Did you have a bad clam? 77 00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:30,243 I didn't have clams. 78 00:03:30,245 --> 00:03:32,178 I don't watch you 24 hours a day. 79 00:03:32,180 --> 00:03:34,280 I don't know what you do. 80 00:03:34,282 --> 00:03:37,350 It's this Jimmy Speckerman thing. 81 00:03:37,352 --> 00:03:40,319 I can't decide if I should agree to see him or not. 82 00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:41,587 Of course that might be 83 00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:43,556 because the last time I ran into him, 84 00:03:43,558 --> 00:03:46,225 he made me floss with my own shoelaces. 85 00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:48,661 Wear loafers. 86 00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:52,198 Look at Dr. Saul Perlmutter up there, 87 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,400 clutching that Nobel Prize. 88 00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:55,635 What's the matter, Saul? 89 00:03:55,637 --> 00:03:57,270 You afraid someone's going to steal it? 90 00:03:57,272 --> 00:03:59,839 Like you stole Einstein's cosmological constant? 91 00:03:59,841 --> 00:04:02,041 You know what? 92 00:04:02,043 --> 00:04:04,844 I am tired of living in fear of this guy. 93 00:04:04,846 --> 00:04:06,879 I'm gonna go see him and finally say 94 00:04:06,881 --> 00:04:09,849 all the things I should have said in high school. 95 00:04:09,851 --> 00:04:11,551 You know, "Pick on someone your own size"" 96 00:04:11,553 --> 00:04:15,388 "You did not have sex with my mother." 97 00:04:15,390 --> 00:04:19,358 And "Yes, I do know why I'm hitting myself." 98 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,861 Oh, now Perlmutter's shaking the king's hand. 99 00:04:21,863 --> 00:04:23,563 Yeah, check for your watch, Gustaf. 100 00:04:23,565 --> 00:04:25,331 He might have lifted it. 101 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,569 I love this dress. 102 00:04:29,571 --> 00:04:31,404 How come I never see you wear it? 103 00:04:31,406 --> 00:04:33,573 'Cause when I wear it, it's a shirt. 104 00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:37,477 So, what's Howard doing tonight? 105 00:04:37,479 --> 00:04:40,580 Oh, they all went with Leonard to confront his childhood bully. 106 00:04:40,582 --> 00:04:41,848 Oh, terrific. 107 00:04:41,850 --> 00:04:45,785 High school quarterback against four mathletes. 108 00:04:45,787 --> 00:04:46,886 When Leonard gets back, 109 00:04:46,888 --> 00:04:48,421 I'd love to check his serotonin levels. 110 00:04:48,423 --> 00:04:51,290 Do you think he'd let me draw a syringe full of his blood? 111 00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:53,059 Hmm, he's not crazy about needles, 112 00:04:53,061 --> 00:04:55,094 but if you get him to go jogging, 113 00:04:55,096 --> 00:04:56,896 it'll just pour out of his nose. 114 00:04:57,865 --> 00:04:59,065 I don't think 115 00:04:59,067 --> 00:05:01,701 I can meet the girl who was always mean to me. 116 00:05:01,703 --> 00:05:03,202 Tammy Bodnick. 117 00:05:03,204 --> 00:05:05,138 One time while I was in gym class, 118 00:05:05,140 --> 00:05:06,239 she stole all my clothes 119 00:05:06,241 --> 00:05:09,075 and left an elf costume in my locker. 120 00:05:09,077 --> 00:05:10,977 Oh, that's awful. 121 00:05:10,979 --> 00:05:14,180 Worst part was, it was too big. 122 00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:16,749 That's nothing. 123 00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:20,052 In ninth grade, the girls put Rogaine in my hand lotion. 124 00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,289 Within six months, the nicknames began to fly. 125 00:05:23,291 --> 00:05:26,793 I think the one that hurt the most was Gorilla Fingers Fowler. 126 00:05:28,663 --> 00:05:31,063 Wow. You poor thing. 127 00:05:31,065 --> 00:05:33,065 What about you? Oh. 128 00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:35,201 I don't know. I guess my school was a nice place. 129 00:05:35,203 --> 00:05:36,369 We didn't really have bullies. 130 00:05:36,371 --> 00:05:39,205 Come on, no one ever gave anyone mean nicknames 131 00:05:39,207 --> 00:05:41,841 or picked on them or put gum in their hairy knuckles 132 00:05:41,843 --> 00:05:45,511 so the school nurse had to use peanut butter to get it out? 133 00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:46,846 No, we weren't really like that. 134 00:05:46,848 --> 00:05:49,015 I mean, look, we played pranks on each other, 135 00:05:49,017 --> 00:05:50,116 but it was never mean. 136 00:05:50,118 --> 00:05:51,617 Like, okay, this one girl, Kathy Geiger, 137 00:05:51,619 --> 00:05:53,152 got really good grades, so we blindfolded her, 138 00:05:53,154 --> 00:05:55,388 tied her up and left her in a cornfield overnight. 139 00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,859 Oh, my God, that's awful. 140 00:05:59,861 --> 00:06:02,428 No, it was funny. Everyone laughed. 141 00:06:02,430 --> 00:06:04,730 Did Kathy Geiger laugh? 142 00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:06,499 Uh, probably. It's hard to say. 143 00:06:06,501 --> 00:06:09,435 She kind of had an ear of corn in her mouth. 144 00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:11,671 Who would have thought 145 00:06:11,673 --> 00:06:15,641 Fuzzy Fingers Fowler is best friends with a bully? 146 00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:18,311 What? I was not a bully. 147 00:06:18,313 --> 00:06:19,912 Kind of sounds like you were. 148 00:06:19,914 --> 00:06:22,348 And maybe a felon. 149 00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:27,353 Shh. That's how you wind up in a cornfield. 150 00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:34,227 Is that him over there? 151 00:06:34,229 --> 00:06:35,661 No. 152 00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:37,630 How about that guy? 153 00:06:37,632 --> 00:06:39,966 He looks like he'd hate you. 154 00:06:39,968 --> 00:06:42,335 You know, I can really do this by myself. 155 00:06:42,337 --> 00:06:43,970 Hey, we're here to support you, buddy. 156 00:06:43,972 --> 00:06:45,571 No, you're not. You're here to see 157 00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:47,640 if I get my underwear pulled over my head. 158 00:06:47,642 --> 00:06:50,343 You wore underwear? You fool. 159 00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:53,913 So, have you figured out what you're going to say to him? 160 00:06:53,915 --> 00:06:56,515 You bet. I am going to make him apologize 161 00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:59,385 for all the crap he pulled on me in school. 162 00:06:59,387 --> 00:07:01,287 That's quite a list. 163 00:07:01,289 --> 00:07:02,688 I can't read your handwriting. 164 00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:03,856 What's that word? 165 00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:05,324 "Scrotum." 166 00:07:05,326 --> 00:07:08,194 What's that one? 167 00:07:08,196 --> 00:07:10,463 Uh, "stapled." 168 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:15,301 Leonard. 169 00:07:15,303 --> 00:07:17,970 Oh, hi. 170 00:07:17,972 --> 00:07:20,373 Holy crap, man, it's good to see you. 171 00:07:20,375 --> 00:07:23,009 Yeah. You, too. Uh, Jimmy, this is 172 00:07:23,011 --> 00:07:24,377 Sheldon and Raj and Howard. 173 00:07:24,379 --> 00:07:27,013 Hi. Fellas... Hey, can I get a beer? 174 00:07:27,015 --> 00:07:28,848 Wow. Look at you. 175 00:07:28,850 --> 00:07:30,349 Little Leonard Hofstadter. 176 00:07:30,351 --> 00:07:32,218 I hear you're a big-time scientist now. 177 00:07:32,220 --> 00:07:34,654 And there's the first zinger. Ouch. 178 00:07:34,656 --> 00:07:37,323 I'm doing okay, I guess. 179 00:07:37,325 --> 00:07:39,525 Okay? Come on, I read online 180 00:07:39,527 --> 00:07:41,227 you're a physicist at a university, 181 00:07:41,229 --> 00:07:42,361 you won some medal. 182 00:07:42,363 --> 00:07:44,063 The Newcomb medal. 183 00:07:44,065 --> 00:07:45,398 Yeah, congratulations. 184 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:46,866 Congratulations? 185 00:07:46,868 --> 00:07:48,801 The Newcomb medal? Oh, please. 186 00:07:48,803 --> 00:07:50,202 That's the scientific equivalent 187 00:07:50,204 --> 00:07:52,638 of a smiley face sticker on your homework. 188 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,141 From what I read, it sounded like a big deal. 189 00:07:55,143 --> 00:07:57,543 Oh, good Lord, are we going to stand here 190 00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:59,712 and listen to him tear Leonard apart like this? 191 00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:02,648 Hey, I won a Newcomb medal, too. 192 00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:04,050 My point. 193 00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:07,119 You should have seen this guy back in the day. 194 00:08:07,121 --> 00:08:10,022 Huh? He was so little, he could fit in just about anywhere. 195 00:08:10,024 --> 00:08:12,124 Lockers, trash cans. 196 00:08:12,126 --> 00:08:15,328 Oh, man, how did you get inside that backpack? 197 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,464 Oh, I can't take all the credit. 198 00:08:18,466 --> 00:08:20,766 You helped a lot. Yeah. 199 00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,668 We were practically a comedy team. 200 00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:26,339 Like the Black Death and Europe. 201 00:08:26,341 --> 00:08:30,209 Jimmy, I'm kind of curious why you wanted to see me. 202 00:08:30,211 --> 00:08:32,078 Okay, here it is. 203 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:33,546 I have this great money-making idea. 204 00:08:33,548 --> 00:08:35,681 I just need a gear head to get it to the finish line. 205 00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:37,350 Technically, Howard's the gear head. 206 00:08:37,352 --> 00:08:40,386 Leonard's just a dime store laser jockey. 207 00:08:40,388 --> 00:08:41,854 What's the idea? 208 00:08:41,856 --> 00:08:43,589 This is just between us, right? 209 00:08:43,591 --> 00:08:44,857 - Right. - Okay. 210 00:08:44,859 --> 00:08:46,826 What do you think about a pair of glasses 211 00:08:46,828 --> 00:08:49,261 that makes any movie you want into 3D? 212 00:08:49,263 --> 00:08:50,629 That sounds amazing. 213 00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:54,600 First movie I'm watching-- <i>Annie.</i> 214 00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:58,671 How exactly would these glasses work? 215 00:08:58,673 --> 00:09:01,707 How the hell should I know? That's why I need a nerd. 216 00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:05,544 I don't think something like that's even possible. 217 00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,179 Aw, come on, you can figure it out. 218 00:09:07,181 --> 00:09:08,881 You're like the smartest guy I've ever known. 219 00:09:08,883 --> 00:09:10,116 The smartest...?! 220 00:09:10,118 --> 00:09:12,952 All right, you know, I may not have 221 00:09:12,954 --> 00:09:17,089 a firm grasp on sarcasm, but even I know that was a doozy. 222 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:20,926 Leonard, you can't live in fear of this man forever. 223 00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:22,495 Sheldon, I got this. 224 00:09:22,497 --> 00:09:24,030 You clearly don't. 225 00:09:24,032 --> 00:09:26,399 What my spineless friend lacks the courage to say 226 00:09:26,401 --> 00:09:28,467 is you're a terrible person 227 00:09:28,469 --> 00:09:29,735 who took advantage 228 00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:32,938 of his tiny size, his uncoordinated nature 229 00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,041 and his congenital lack of masculinity. 230 00:09:35,043 --> 00:09:36,075 Sheldon... 231 00:09:36,077 --> 00:09:37,910 Leonard, I platonically love you, man, 232 00:09:37,912 --> 00:09:39,345 but face it, you're a mess. 233 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,983 I don't understand. 234 00:09:43,985 --> 00:09:47,987 I think what he's trying to say is that maybe in high school 235 00:09:47,989 --> 00:09:49,555 you picked on me a little bit. 236 00:09:49,557 --> 00:09:51,390 A little bit? 237 00:09:51,392 --> 00:09:54,493 The man Super Glued Hershey's Kisses to your nipples. 238 00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:58,931 That's funny because those aren't the kind of kisses 239 00:09:58,933 --> 00:10:00,433 you want on your nipples. 240 00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:03,135 What is that? 241 00:10:03,137 --> 00:10:06,238 This is a list of your heinous acts against Leonard. 242 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,808 One of which is certainly the cause of him wetting his bed 243 00:10:08,810 --> 00:10:10,242 well into his teens. 244 00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:14,814 14 is not... Aw, never mind. 245 00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:19,018 What's this word? 246 00:10:19,020 --> 00:10:20,686 "Nancy." 247 00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:25,524 You called me Nancy for three years. 248 00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:29,862 You really need to work on your penmanship. 249 00:10:29,864 --> 00:10:32,965 Oh, man, I... 250 00:10:32,967 --> 00:10:35,334 I don't know what to say. 251 00:10:35,336 --> 00:10:37,470 I always thought we were just having some fun. 252 00:10:37,472 --> 00:10:39,472 It wasn't fun for me. 253 00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:41,841 You're being too kind, Leonard. 254 00:10:41,843 --> 00:10:43,976 You ruined him. 255 00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:46,278 Come on, guys. 256 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:48,481 That was pretty badass, dude. 257 00:10:48,483 --> 00:10:50,216 I help the weak. 258 00:10:50,218 --> 00:10:52,251 It's yet another way I'm exactly like Batman. 259 00:10:52,253 --> 00:10:56,689 Hey, for the record, Jimmy wasn't the reason I wet the bed. 260 00:10:56,691 --> 00:11:00,159 That one has my mother written all over it. 261 00:11:05,208 --> 00:11:06,608 <i>Anyway, I'm really sorry</i> 262 00:11:06,610 --> 00:11:08,844 I made fun of your stutter in high school. 263 00:11:08,846 --> 00:11:10,912 You're doing great. 264 00:11:10,914 --> 00:11:12,281 Uh-huh. 265 00:11:13,149 --> 00:11:14,449 Uh-huh. 266 00:11:14,451 --> 00:11:17,486 Oh, God, just finish the sentence. 267 00:11:20,257 --> 00:11:23,760 Okay, well, I'm sorry you feel that way. Bye. 268 00:11:23,762 --> 00:11:26,496 No one wants to hear my apologies. 269 00:11:26,498 --> 00:11:28,498 I think your mistake is doing it over the phone. 270 00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:31,167 If they could look into your eyes, they'd melt. 271 00:11:33,203 --> 00:11:35,305 Penny, it doesn't matter what you did in the past. 272 00:11:35,307 --> 00:11:36,973 You're a good person now. 273 00:11:36,975 --> 00:11:38,474 That's easy for you to say. 274 00:11:38,476 --> 00:11:41,611 You weren't just called a "b-b-b-b-bitch." 275 00:11:41,613 --> 00:11:46,416 Perhaps you could assuage your guilt through altruism. 276 00:11:48,919 --> 00:11:51,688 Which word's tripping you up? 277 00:11:51,690 --> 00:11:54,290 "Assuage," or "altruism"? 278 00:11:54,292 --> 00:11:57,026 Both. 279 00:11:58,262 --> 00:12:00,997 You'll feel better by doing something nice for someone. 280 00:12:00,999 --> 00:12:03,599 - I actually knew that. - I never doubted you. 281 00:12:04,935 --> 00:12:07,804 Every other week I serve at a soup kitchen downtown. 282 00:12:07,806 --> 00:12:10,039 Ooh, I can't do that. 283 00:12:10,041 --> 00:12:13,009 If I stand over a steaming pot, my hair just goes boing! 284 00:12:14,345 --> 00:12:15,812 What else could I do? 285 00:12:15,814 --> 00:12:18,681 There's Habitat for Humanity-- building houses for the poor. 286 00:12:18,683 --> 00:12:20,683 Okay, come on, I don't even have my own house-- 287 00:12:20,685 --> 00:12:22,118 I'm going to build one for someone else? 288 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:25,588 How about donating some of your clothes? 289 00:12:25,590 --> 00:12:29,525 Oh, my God, that's perfect. 'Cause I have so many clothes 290 00:12:29,527 --> 00:12:31,027 I don't wear, and they're just taking up space, 291 00:12:31,029 --> 00:12:34,030 and I go shopping to buy more stuff and I have no place to put it. 292 00:12:34,032 --> 00:12:35,298 This will totally fix that. 293 00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:36,866 What about helping people? 294 00:12:36,868 --> 00:12:39,268 And helping people. 295 00:12:40,571 --> 00:12:43,172 Here's your cocoa. 296 00:12:43,174 --> 00:12:45,775 - Oh, half and half instead of whole milk? - Yes. 297 00:12:45,777 --> 00:12:48,177 - Heated to precisely 183 degrees? - Yes. 298 00:12:48,179 --> 00:12:50,079 Seven little marshmallows, no more no less? 299 00:12:50,081 --> 00:12:52,382 You got one for good luck. 300 00:12:53,484 --> 00:12:54,884 I'll get it. 301 00:12:54,886 --> 00:12:57,353 One for good luck. 302 00:12:57,355 --> 00:13:00,056 Must be the kind of math they do at Princeton. 303 00:13:03,460 --> 00:13:05,328 Hey. 304 00:13:05,330 --> 00:13:06,763 What are you doing here? 305 00:13:06,765 --> 00:13:10,933 I want to apologize for... stapling your balls and... 306 00:13:12,136 --> 00:13:15,304 ...throwing you naked in the girls' locker room, 307 00:13:15,306 --> 00:13:17,206 stuffing that parrot down your pants. 308 00:13:19,009 --> 00:13:20,143 What's this word? 309 00:13:20,844 --> 00:13:24,113 - "Laxative." - Oh, right. 310 00:13:24,115 --> 00:13:26,883 Junior prom. 311 00:13:26,885 --> 00:13:30,019 That was not cool, man. 312 00:13:30,021 --> 00:13:32,388 I am so, so sorry. 313 00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:33,756 Really? 314 00:13:33,758 --> 00:13:37,293 Yeah. I just hope you can forgive me. 315 00:13:37,295 --> 00:13:38,461 Uh... 316 00:13:38,463 --> 00:13:39,962 Yeah. 317 00:13:39,964 --> 00:13:41,063 Sure, I guess. 318 00:13:41,065 --> 00:13:44,367 You're a beautiful guy. 319 00:13:44,369 --> 00:13:46,369 Well, thanks, Jimmy. 320 00:13:46,371 --> 00:13:47,737 Okay, I got to go. 321 00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:49,872 Are you okay to drive? 322 00:13:49,874 --> 00:13:52,074 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I drive better drunk. 323 00:13:52,076 --> 00:13:54,744 You know, it makes you pay attention. 324 00:13:56,747 --> 00:13:59,148 No, no, no, come on in. I'll make you a cup of coffee. 325 00:13:59,150 --> 00:14:00,850 - I wouldn't be imposing? - No. 326 00:14:00,852 --> 00:14:03,052 Yes. 327 00:14:03,054 --> 00:14:06,322 Sheldon, we can't let him drive. 328 00:14:06,324 --> 00:14:08,791 Then take away his keys and make him wander the streets 329 00:14:08,793 --> 00:14:10,726 with the other drunks. 330 00:14:12,496 --> 00:14:15,264 You remember Sheldon and Raj and Howard. 331 00:14:15,266 --> 00:14:16,833 Not really, no. 332 00:14:18,101 --> 00:14:19,535 It's funny, huh, Leonard? 333 00:14:19,537 --> 00:14:22,438 Back in school, I was the winner and you were the loser. 334 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:23,506 And now we're reversed. 335 00:14:23,508 --> 00:14:26,042 You're the winner. 336 00:14:26,044 --> 00:14:29,011 You'd think a winner could make a decent cup of cocoa. 337 00:14:30,714 --> 00:14:33,716 - You mind if I use your bathroom? - Yeah, just back there. 338 00:14:36,687 --> 00:14:38,287 How about that? 339 00:14:38,289 --> 00:14:41,390 After all these years, your big bad high school bully 340 00:14:41,392 --> 00:14:43,159 finally apologizes. 341 00:14:43,161 --> 00:14:46,028 Yeah. It kind of rekindles your faith 342 00:14:46,030 --> 00:14:48,097 in the basic goodness of people. 343 00:14:48,099 --> 00:14:50,700 You know what would be nice? 344 00:14:50,702 --> 00:14:51,434 What's that? 345 00:14:51,436 --> 00:14:53,603 As a symbolic gesture 346 00:14:53,605 --> 00:14:56,772 to all the bullies who've tormented us for years, 347 00:14:56,774 --> 00:15:01,777 we open our home to Jimmy and once he's asleep we kill him. 348 00:15:06,450 --> 00:15:09,418 I said it would be nice-- I didn't say we should do it. 349 00:15:11,955 --> 00:15:15,458 I feel just like Mother Teresa. 350 00:15:15,460 --> 00:15:17,226 Except for the virgin part. 351 00:15:17,228 --> 00:15:20,229 That ship sailed a long time ago. 352 00:15:20,231 --> 00:15:25,001 I think Mother Teresa would have washed the clothes first. 353 00:15:25,003 --> 00:15:26,903 Yeah, well, I bet her laundry room 354 00:15:26,905 --> 00:15:28,871 wasn't down five flights of stairs. 355 00:15:28,873 --> 00:15:32,742 You know, giving really is better than receiving. 356 00:15:32,744 --> 00:15:36,546 I used to think it was such a cliche, but it seems to be the... 357 00:15:36,548 --> 00:15:40,216 Look at these cute jeans someone just threw away. 358 00:15:40,218 --> 00:15:42,318 Donated. 359 00:15:44,855 --> 00:15:48,591 Yes, to a poor waitress who loves a boot cut. 360 00:15:49,626 --> 00:15:50,626 Penny. 361 00:15:50,628 --> 00:15:52,728 Come on, they would be so cute on me... 362 00:15:52,730 --> 00:15:54,931 They go great with this sweater! 363 00:15:54,933 --> 00:15:57,066 I don't think Mother Teresa... 364 00:15:57,068 --> 00:15:59,001 Oh, that is adorable. 365 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:07,074 366 00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:11,948 Leonard. 367 00:16:11,950 --> 00:16:14,016 - Yeah. - In case it comes up again, 368 00:16:14,018 --> 00:16:17,820 this right here is an imposition. 369 00:16:19,323 --> 00:16:20,790 What was I supposed to do? 370 00:16:20,792 --> 00:16:22,525 He needed a place to sleep it off. 371 00:16:22,527 --> 00:16:24,093 You're soft. 372 00:16:24,095 --> 00:16:27,496 This world's going to chew you up and spit you out. 373 00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:32,301 When did I have tacos? 374 00:16:33,937 --> 00:16:35,438 Morning, Jimmy. 375 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:39,075 Oh, there it is, tacos. 376 00:16:39,077 --> 00:16:42,211 Man, I tied one on. 377 00:16:42,213 --> 00:16:43,379 Yeah, you did. 378 00:16:43,381 --> 00:16:46,515 So, uh, listen, it was great to see you again. 379 00:16:46,517 --> 00:16:49,051 And thanks for the apology. 380 00:16:49,053 --> 00:16:51,187 What apology? 381 00:16:51,189 --> 00:16:54,357 For all the crappy stuff you did to me in high school. 382 00:16:54,359 --> 00:16:56,692 Geez, you're still harping on that? 383 00:16:56,694 --> 00:16:57,960 What a puss. 384 00:16:57,962 --> 00:17:00,429 That's my French toast. 385 00:17:00,431 --> 00:17:02,098 It's good. 386 00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:04,834 You really know your way around a kitchen, Nancy. 387 00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:08,739 I'm not going to say I told you so, 388 00:17:08,764 --> 00:17:10,312 but we could have killed him. 389 00:17:13,210 --> 00:17:16,245 I might kill him right now. 390 00:17:16,247 --> 00:17:18,881 The Dark Knight has your back. 391 00:17:18,883 --> 00:17:21,384 He's scared, but he has your back. 392 00:17:21,386 --> 00:17:23,586 Okay, Jimmy, it's time for you to go. 393 00:17:23,588 --> 00:17:25,054 Yeah, all right, let me just finish this. 394 00:17:25,056 --> 00:17:27,423 No, you're done. I want you out of my apartment right now. 395 00:17:27,425 --> 00:17:30,359 Well said, Boy Wonder. 396 00:17:31,194 --> 00:17:33,896 Or what? 397 00:17:33,898 --> 00:17:34,971 Don't answer that. It's a trick question. 398 00:17:34,996 --> 00:17:36,196 I speak from experience. 399 00:17:39,736 --> 00:17:42,171 I'm not afraid of you anymore, Jimmy. 400 00:17:42,173 --> 00:17:43,739 Now get out! 401 00:17:44,875 --> 00:17:46,942 Uh-oh. 402 00:17:48,745 --> 00:17:50,746 You did it, Leonard, you stood up to your bully. 403 00:17:50,748 --> 00:17:53,349 Yeah, I feel pretty good about myself. 404 00:17:55,152 --> 00:17:57,553 You think we can outrun him? 405 00:17:57,555 --> 00:18:00,623 I don't need to outrun him, I just need to outrun you. 406 00:18:06,915 --> 00:18:08,500 I don't feel good about this. 407 00:18:08,501 --> 00:18:10,701 Then sit in the car and keep it running. 408 00:18:11,503 --> 00:18:14,372 You were right-- a whole new load. 409 00:18:17,209 --> 00:18:20,144 Come on, yoga top. Mama needs a new yoga top. 410 00:18:20,146 --> 00:18:22,813 Check it out, Bernadette, suede boots, your size. 411 00:18:22,815 --> 00:18:24,949 God, they're cute. 412 00:18:24,951 --> 00:18:27,585 Oh, why did they have to be cute? 413 00:18:27,587 --> 00:18:30,321 Wait, wait, wait, guys, just hang on. 414 00:18:30,323 --> 00:18:32,223 What is it, the fuzz? 415 00:18:34,626 --> 00:18:36,661 Look at us. 416 00:18:36,663 --> 00:18:38,129 What are we doing? 417 00:18:38,131 --> 00:18:41,165 I was gleefully following you to a life of crime, 418 00:18:41,167 --> 00:18:44,502 looking forward to the day we might be cell mates. 419 00:18:47,172 --> 00:18:50,141 I don't know about Bernadette. 420 00:18:50,143 --> 00:18:54,679 You know, this is wrong. Let's put everything back. 421 00:19:05,625 --> 00:19:07,526 It's okay, I serve soup to poor people! 421 00:19:08,305 --> 00:20:08,558 -== [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==-