"The Big Bang Theory" The Procreation Calculation

1 00:00:02,780 --> 00:00:04,276 So, Penny, we were talking to our neighbors 2 00:00:04,300 --> 00:00:06,316 and they're thinking of moving and selling their house. 3 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:07,258 Really? Why? 4 00:00:07,260 --> 00:00:08,455 Something about babies crying 5 00:00:08,540 --> 00:00:09,916 and keeping them up all night, it's not important. 6 00:00:09,940 --> 00:00:11,580 You guys should totally take a look at it. 7 00:00:11,660 --> 00:00:13,617 Then we could be neighbors! 8 00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:15,293 Hey, wait a minute, what about us? 9 00:00:15,420 --> 00:00:18,094 We're married, now. Maybe, we wanna buy the house next door. 10 00:00:18,180 --> 00:00:19,853 Amy, we can't move. 11 00:00:19,940 --> 00:00:22,296 I'd have to change all the tags in my underwear. 12 00:00:23,380 --> 00:00:24,496 You can buy new ones. 13 00:00:24,580 --> 00:00:25,980 What? New house, new underwear. 14 00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:28,177 What am I, in the Witness Protection Program? 15 00:00:28,980 --> 00:00:31,290 Okay, guys, so, what do you think? 16 00:00:31,380 --> 00:00:33,497 I don't know, we're pretty happy here. 17 00:00:33,580 --> 00:00:36,414 Yeah, plus, if we moved, we'd probably just get a loft downtown. 18 00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:39,857 Really? I always figured we'd get a place with a yard. 19 00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:43,012 Oh, sure, yeah, that makes sense. You could shoot hoops and mow the lawn. 20 00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:46,459 How are you two married? 21 00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:49,300 - You were there. I wore her down. - He did. 22 00:00:50,260 --> 00:00:53,571 You guys should've talked about all this stuff while you were dating. 23 00:00:53,660 --> 00:00:57,017 Me and Anu already know so much about each other. 24 00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:58,773 Wait, I forget, is Anu your waxer? 25 00:00:58,860 --> 00:01:00,738 Uh, no, that's Annette. 26 00:01:00,820 --> 00:01:03,574 Anu is the woman my father fixed me up with. 27 00:01:03,660 --> 00:01:07,574 We're going on our first date tomorrow, which reminds me, I need to see Annette. 28 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:11,534 You're really letting your father pick out a wife? 29 00:01:11,620 --> 00:01:12,620 Why not? 30 00:01:12,621 --> 00:01:15,181 Arranged marriages have been working for thousands of years. 31 00:01:15,260 --> 00:01:16,860 Anu and I come from similar backgrounds. 32 00:01:16,980 --> 00:01:18,255 Our families get along, 33 00:01:18,340 --> 00:01:19,556 and we each filled out questionnaires, 34 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:22,316 so, we know we're not wasting our time with someone who's not compatible. 35 00:01:22,340 --> 00:01:24,377 Wow, that sounds so dry and clinical. 36 00:01:24,460 --> 00:01:26,133 You lucky duck. 37 00:01:27,460 --> 00:01:29,372 I just don't think you can truly know someone 38 00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:31,116 until you've spent a lot of time with them. 39 00:01:31,140 --> 00:01:33,291 Really? What's Penny's dream vacation? 40 00:01:34,340 --> 00:01:37,060 Uh... A Malibu beach house. 41 00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:40,778 That's Barbie's dream vacation. 42 00:01:41,860 --> 00:01:44,295 Maybe you should send us that questionnaire. 43 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:48,596 <i>Our whole universe was in a hot dense state</i> 44 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:51,878 <i>Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started...</i> 45 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:52,878 <i>Wait!</i> 46 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:53,880 <i>The earth began to cool</i> 47 00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:55,281 <i>The autotrophs began to drool</i> 48 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:56,794 <i>Neanderthals developed tools</i> 49 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,394 <i>We built a wall We built the pyramids</i> 50 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:01,473 <i>Math, science, history Unraveling the mystery</i> 51 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:03,557 <i>It all started with the Big Bang!</i> 52 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:04,640 <i>Bang!</i> 53 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:12,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 54 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:14,480 Enjoying your book? 55 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,515 So much. 56 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:20,399 Why do you keep poking at it? 57 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:24,477 Fine, I'm shopping on my phone. 58 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,136 You're the one who said you wanted to read more. 59 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,391 Yes, I also tell people I only feed the kids organic. 60 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,233 It's just stuff you say. 61 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:35,240 - Hey. - Oh, hello. 62 00:02:35,241 --> 00:02:36,755 Hey, how was your night? 63 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,470 Oh. It was great, we went to an improv show. 64 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,632 Yeah, they asked the audience to suggest a word and they used Stuart's. 65 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:45,554 - Oh, cool, what was it? - "Coconuts"! 66 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,910 - It was such a good one. - It just came to me. 67 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:51,430 What are you guys up to? 68 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,235 - Reading. - Oh, nice, I wish I read more. 69 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,756 Well, if it's important, you find the time. 70 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,554 - You wanna see my room? - Yeah. 71 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:01,640 Cool. 72 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:05,716 How do you feel about this? 73 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,920 That she can clearly do better, but that's not for me to say. 74 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,950 No. With them in his room, doing stuff. 75 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:15,033 Come on, we're sitting right out here, they're not gonna do anything. 76 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,069 I'd like to change my answer. 77 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:32,199 Wow, you really are good at this. 78 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:35,114 I've spent a lot of time painting D&D miniatures. 79 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,576 I know that makes you wanna rip my shirt off, 80 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:39,960 but wait until your nails are dry. 81 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:43,475 Oh, it's Raj. 82 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,351 He sent us that Indian marriage questionnaire. 83 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,955 - Ooh, read one. - Okay. 84 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,760 "How religious are you?" That's easy, both of us, not at all. 85 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,160 But I wouldn't say not at all. 86 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:56,631 I mean, I'm pretty spiritual. I do go to yoga, so... 87 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:00,792 Great, so, your church is Our Lady of the Stretchy Pants. 88 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,677 Next question, "How close are you with your family?" 89 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:06,876 Pretty close. 90 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:10,192 I'm gonna say not too close, but I'm hoping to get farther. 91 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:12,914 "How do you feel about children?" 92 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,674 Um, they're okay, I guess. 93 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:17,480 I mean, if I saw one, I wouldn't throw a rock at it. 94 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:21,952 Why would you throw a rock at a child? 95 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,152 I just said I wouldn't. 96 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,757 The question is, "Would you like to have kids?" 97 00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:30,035 So, yeah, we want kids. 98 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:31,349 Yeah, but someday. 99 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:32,880 Right, like, in the next five years. 100 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,393 Sure, next question? 101 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:37,113 "How are you with pets?" 102 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:41,240 I did take care of Sheldon for 15 years, and he only bit me twice. 103 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:46,710 I have to say, 104 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:50,680 after reading your questionnaire, I feel like I already know you. 105 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,319 Totally. Me, too. 106 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:53,595 Excuse me. 107 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:55,512 Can we please get sparkling instead of tap, 108 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,416 some clean silverware, and find out what they're having? 109 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:58,840 That looks delicious. 110 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:00,917 - Yes, ma'am. - Thank you. 111 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:04,198 - So, you're an astrophysicist? - Yes, ma'am. 112 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:08,435 I mean, just yes. Unless you prefer "ma'am." 113 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:09,438 I don't. 114 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:10,936 Good, because you don't seem like a ma'am. 115 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,156 You seem more like a sweet thang. 116 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,919 Wow, you are not good at this. 117 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:19,759 If I was good at this, 118 00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:21,832 I wouldn't need to be fixed up by my father. 119 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:23,816 I never thought I'd let my family set me up, either. 120 00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:25,672 But I'm 34, I'd like to have kids, 121 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,717 and it's hard to date because I work so much. 122 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,315 - Oh, yes, you're a concierge. - For now. 123 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,596 I plan to be managing a hotel in the next five years. 124 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,400 Four, if I can get the current manager out of the way. 125 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:37,915 He's a smoker, so, fingers crossed. 126 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:40,358 I get it. 127 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:44,593 You know, um, I used to have a long list of what I wanted from a wife. 128 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:48,196 Eyes like Sandra Bullock, hair like Sandra Bullock, 129 00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:50,317 and the bravery of Ryan Stone, 130 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,160 that's Sandra Bullock's character in <i>Gravity.</i> 131 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,515 But now, I just want someone nice. 132 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,237 I think I'm nice. Are you nice? 133 00:05:58,720 --> 00:05:59,790 Oh, I'm definitely nice. 134 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,320 Every time a girl breaks up with me, 135 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,829 she always starts with, "You're a nice guy." 136 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:08,155 Look, your whole sweet, insecure thing is cute, 137 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,197 but honestly, I have no time for that. 138 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,994 If you're not serious about this, you need to walk away now. 139 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:14,833 No, I am serious. 140 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,080 Good. 141 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:20,757 Okay. Okay, what does this mean? 142 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:24,557 I think it means I might be the future Mrs... 143 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:25,640 Koothrappali. 144 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,799 How would you feel if I didn't change my name? 145 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:32,158 A little hurt, but you wouldn't know because I'm too nice. 146 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:37,912 - Hey, wanna get lunch? - I can't. 147 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,176 Halley and Michael were up all night. I'm way behind here. 148 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,395 Oh, no. Are they sick? 149 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:44,354 No, they were just laughing and playing like a couple of jerks. 150 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,596 Boy, they're cute, but they ruin everything. 151 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:51,315 I get that. 152 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:54,837 You know, I've been thinking lately, that maybe I don't want kids. 153 00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:58,751 Are you crazy? Of course you want them, it's amazing. 154 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:00,720 You just said they ruin everything. 155 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,679 I'm allowed to, it's their fault I pee when I laugh. 156 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,359 Hang on, why is it crazy to say I might not want kids? 157 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:10,716 Oh, it's not crazy, it's just wrong. 158 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:12,976 You only think you don't want kids, 159 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,993 but once you have kids, you'll realize that you did want them. 160 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:20,236 Or I don't want them, so, I won't have them, so back off. 161 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,554 Aw, you sound just like me before I became a mom, 162 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:25,240 and learned what the meaning of love was. 163 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:29,876 Wow, I cannot believe how condescending you're being. 164 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,600 Look, I know it's scary, but you're gonna be a great mom. 165 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,354 I know I'd be great, but the point is, I don't want to be one. 166 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:37,360 Maybe, you wouldn't be great. Kinda got a temper. 167 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:41,558 You know, not everyone needs to have kids to be fulfilled. 168 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:45,956 You're right. You got Leonard, what more do you need? 169 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:50,520 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 170 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,313 Hello. How was your date? 171 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,676 Well, let me answer that with a question. 172 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,280 How would you like to be my best man? 173 00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,713 Wait, you're not seriously marrying a woman you've met once? 174 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:04,673 Why not? She's nice, I'm nice. 175 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,696 We're just as likely to be happy as any other two people, 176 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,074 maybe even happier. 177 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,000 Sorry, that was not a swipe at you. 178 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:15,474 - I didn't think it was. - Yeah, good, 'cause it was not. 179 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:21,114 Well, I, for one, applaud Raj's decision to forgo emotional attachment 180 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,078 and find a life partner by bowing to 181 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,720 a 3,000-year-old authoritarian tradition. 182 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:28,576 What are you talking about? You married a woman you're in love with. 183 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,160 God, I can't believe you're throwing that back in my face. 184 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,273 Why can't you just be happy for me? 185 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:37,279 Because you're being dumb. You don't know anything about her. 186 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,679 Then, how come you all get to be married and I have to stay single? 187 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:43,275 I think that's a question for a licensed professional. 188 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:46,034 You know what, you're not just insulting me, okay? 189 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:50,160 You're insulting my family, my culture, and my future bride, Anu, 190 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,675 a vegetarian with a master's degree from Cornell, 191 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,120 whose favorite fruit is pineapple! 192 00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,040 Now, I'm not sure if this helps, 193 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,959 but did you know that pineapples were once so rare, 194 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,077 that King Charles posed for a portrait with one? 195 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:06,393 - How does that help? - It helped me. 196 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,880 I've been trying to slide that into a conversation for years. 197 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,160 Hey, honey, how was your day? 198 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:17,440 What's wrong? 199 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:22,477 Raj is talking about marrying this woman he just met. 200 00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:26,110 I told him it was dumb, and now, he's mad at me. 201 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:27,873 The same thing happened to me. 202 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:30,794 Penny said she didn't want kids and I told her she was being silly, 203 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,553 and she accused me of being condescending. 204 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,800 Which is crazy because if I wanted to be condescending, 205 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:38,032 I would've said, "Oh, 'condescending', that's such a big word." 206 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:42,696 Why won't our friends just listen to us? 207 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,757 We obviously know what we're talking about. 208 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:45,798 I know! 209 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:49,589 We're married, we have great kids, great jobs, this great house. 210 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:17,879 Hey, Leonard, remember yesterday, 211 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:19,576 when we were talking about having kids someday? 212 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:20,600 Yeah. 213 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,313 What if it wasn't someday? 214 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,314 Oh, my God. 215 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,880 Oh, my God! Are you pregnant? 216 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:35,954 No! No! No, no! No, no, no. 217 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:37,110 - So... - No. 218 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:42,431 What I meant was, what if we didn't have kids? 219 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:44,720 Ever? 220 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:47,480 I mean, our life is so great. Why would we wanna change that? 221 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:50,040 Sure. 222 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,917 Sure. Sure. 223 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,912 And I guess, it would be hard raising kids 224 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,640 in the loft you never told me you wanted. 225 00:10:58,760 --> 00:10:59,876 No, wait, don't be mad. 226 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,280 No, I'm not mad. 227 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,194 Why would I be mad? There's nothing to be mad at. 228 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:08,280 - You've got to turn the thing. - I knew that! 229 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:12,679 - Hey, Leonard. - I'm not mad! 230 00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:25,980 You're awfully quiet. 231 00:11:26,180 --> 00:11:28,695 - Sorry. - No, I like it. 232 00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,374 Got a lot on my mind. 233 00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:34,580 Would you like to talk about it? 234 00:11:35,180 --> 00:11:36,180 Not really. 235 00:11:36,700 --> 00:11:38,896 Grape-Nuts for breakfast, quiet car ride. 236 00:11:38,980 --> 00:11:40,580 Things are really breaking my way today. 237 00:11:42,380 --> 00:11:44,975 It's just that Penny hit me with some pretty big news, 238 00:11:45,340 --> 00:11:46,854 and it's a lot to process. 239 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:48,977 And you'd like to do that quietly. I respect that. 240 00:11:50,940 --> 00:11:53,091 She said she doesn't wanna have kids. 241 00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:55,135 Maybe, she didn't mean it, 242 00:11:55,460 --> 00:11:58,214 like when you said you didn't want to talk about this. 243 00:11:58,740 --> 00:12:00,220 Forget it. 244 00:12:04,860 --> 00:12:08,615 - Do you want to have children? - Well, I always assumed we would, 245 00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:09,929 and now, I find out, you know, 246 00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:12,819 I might be the last of the Hofstadter line. 247 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,778 Doesn't your brother have children? 248 00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:16,772 And your sister, she kept the Hofstadter name 249 00:12:16,860 --> 00:12:18,055 and has five healthy boys, 250 00:12:18,140 --> 00:12:20,735 Neil, Jeffrey, Scott, William, and baby Richard. 251 00:12:23,020 --> 00:12:25,615 - I'm going back to being quiet. - Sweet. 252 00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:33,098 Hey. Mind if I sit? 253 00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:37,379 Did you just come here to tell me I'm making a gigantic mistake 254 00:12:37,460 --> 00:12:39,019 by having this blueberry muffin, 255 00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:40,716 and I should've got a cinnamon roll like you did? 256 00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:41,740 No. 257 00:12:41,780 --> 00:12:43,851 Good, 'cause I'm happy with my choice. 258 00:12:44,660 --> 00:12:46,413 Although that cinnamon roll does smell good, 259 00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:48,139 if you're open to halfsies. 260 00:12:49,660 --> 00:12:51,492 - Fine. - Thanks. 261 00:12:52,180 --> 00:12:54,979 Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. You're right, I was being... 262 00:12:55,060 --> 00:12:56,858 Oh, my God! That is so good! 263 00:12:59,260 --> 00:13:01,377 - I can wait. - No. Sorry. 264 00:13:02,060 --> 00:13:03,380 Go on. 265 00:13:04,380 --> 00:13:06,212 I've known you a long time. 266 00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:10,374 You believe in romance more than any person I've ever met, 267 00:13:11,740 --> 00:13:13,936 and it's hard to see you give up on that. 268 00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:17,258 But if you really think marrying this woman 269 00:13:17,340 --> 00:13:20,572 is gonna make you happy, then you have my complete and total support. 270 00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:22,697 I will be with you every step of the way. 271 00:13:23,980 --> 00:13:25,778 Thanks, Howard. That means a lot. 272 00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:28,660 So, hey, is this wedding going to be in India? 273 00:13:28,740 --> 00:13:29,740 Yeah, maybe. 274 00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:37,294 What the hell, Penny! 275 00:13:39,260 --> 00:13:40,614 I'm gonna need more than that. 276 00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:44,891 You're not having kids? How could you do this to me? 277 00:13:44,980 --> 00:13:46,733 How is it any of your business? 278 00:13:46,980 --> 00:13:49,814 Because your kids were supposed to be friends with my kids. 279 00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:51,573 Who's gonna be friends with them now? 280 00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:55,333 They will find other friends. 281 00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:56,456 Oh, sure. 282 00:13:56,540 --> 00:13:58,577 'Cause Sheldon's DNA plus my DNA 283 00:13:58,660 --> 00:14:01,255 equals a kid who knows how to make friends. Grow up! 284 00:14:03,220 --> 00:14:04,893 This is between me and Leonard. 285 00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:06,494 Screw Leonard! 286 00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,196 We were supposed to get pregnant together, 287 00:14:08,220 --> 00:14:09,495 we were gonna be barf buddies, 288 00:14:09,580 --> 00:14:12,812 we were supposed to massage each other's perineums with vitamin E. 289 00:14:14,460 --> 00:14:16,975 I'm about to be your barf buddy right now. 290 00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:19,537 Listen, when you have kids, I'm still gonna be there. 291 00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:20,940 I'm gonna be their fun Aunt Penny 292 00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:22,940 who gives them candy and teaches them swear words 293 00:14:23,020 --> 00:14:26,092 and tells them stories about what a weirdo their mother is. 294 00:14:28,420 --> 00:14:29,774 I guess I can live with that. 295 00:14:32,340 --> 00:14:36,778 What is gonna be hard is letting go of the dream of 296 00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:38,892 us breastfeeding each other's babies. 297 00:14:44,580 --> 00:14:47,049 And it's gonna be hard to forget you said that. 298 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:49,600 No. 299 00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:55,774 What would you say 300 00:14:55,860 --> 00:15:00,332 if I told you I was totally naked under this robe? 301 00:15:02,180 --> 00:15:04,137 I would say that sounds pretty good. 302 00:15:04,220 --> 00:15:05,220 Really? 303 00:15:05,940 --> 00:15:07,738 Well, I did not see that coming, one second. 304 00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:14,930 Oh, come on! 305 00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:17,137 Wait. Stay in the mood. 306 00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:20,770 I'll put on our own music and drown them out. 307 00:15:23,980 --> 00:15:25,016 What's this? 308 00:15:25,420 --> 00:15:26,900 It's from my workout mix. 309 00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:29,449 It's what I listen to when I'm firming up my glutes. 310 00:15:33,901 --> 00:15:35,415 - Can you get him? - Sure. 311 00:15:39,060 --> 00:15:40,540 - Hey, Howard? - Yeah? 312 00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:43,090 It looks like you could crack a walnut in those glutes. 313 00:15:45,020 --> 00:15:46,613 I can't. I tried. 314 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:53,270 - Hey. - Hey. 315 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:54,794 I made you dinner. 316 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,873 Your favorite, In-N-Out Burger, out of the wrapper on a plate. 317 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:01,590 Thank you, but you don't have to do this. I'm fine. 318 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:05,511 I know it's not a baby, but it does leak when you pick it up. 319 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:09,315 Really? We're joking about this now? 320 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,800 No. Look, I'm sorry. 321 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:12,792 I didn't mean to just drop all this on you. 322 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:16,635 It just took me by surprise. I always imagined having kids. 323 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:17,995 I know you did. 324 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:22,712 But I've imagined having a lot of things that I'm never gonna get. 325 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,713 A Nobel Prize, a working Batmobile. 326 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:31,957 But I also have a lot that I never thought I'd have. 327 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:35,238 - Like you. - Are you sure that's enough? 328 00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:36,878 Yeah. 329 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:39,156 - You're really okay with this? - I am. 330 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:42,918 Hey, Daddy. 331 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,833 What's this Leonard says about you not wanting to give me grandbabies? 332 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:51,479 He might feel differently, bye. 333 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,816 I told my parents our first date went well, 334 00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:59,274 and they got very excited. 335 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:00,430 Ah, tell me about it. 336 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,479 My parents were so thrilled, they actually spoke to each other. 337 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:06,155 So, that was a disaster. 338 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,197 Cheers. 339 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:13,154 Okay, I guess if we're going forward with this wedding, 340 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,833 we should talk about the next steps. 341 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,037 Oh, like themes and flowers? 342 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,353 Actually, finances and taxes. 343 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,992 Oh. We can't use that, 344 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,958 that was the theme of my parents' divorce. 345 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,896 I know that money can be a source of friction in a new marriage, 346 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:28,513 and I want us to avoid that. 347 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,115 Of course, yeah, right. That's smart. 348 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,480 So, my accountant feels strongly 349 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,256 that we should file separately the first year, 350 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:38,240 and then, we can re-evaluate based on our joint assets. 351 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:39,470 You okay? 352 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,350 No, I can't do this. 353 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,160 Why not? 354 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:46,993 There's something you may not know about me, 355 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,840 because you know, we've only met once, but... 356 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,998 I'm a hopeless romantic. 357 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:56,000 And you seem great and I do wanna get married. 358 00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,037 I do wanna settle down, but... 359 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,591 This isn't the story that I want to tell my grandkids. 360 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:06,360 I understand. 361 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,111 I'm so sorry if I wasted your time. 362 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,000 Raj. 363 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:20,399 I know we don't know each other very well, 364 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,160 but you seem like you'd make a good father, 365 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,830 and you're tall enough, so, I can wear heels 366 00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:29,596 and I think that's something worth fighting for. 367 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:38,834 Will you marry me? 368 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,680 Oh, my God, oh, my God! Yes, of course, of course I'll marry you! 369 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,520 - If you'd like to kiss me, you can. - Oh, great! 370 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,671 I should warn you, I have a tongue piercing. 371 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,070 Oh, you're not that nice. 372 00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:02,696 Are you gonna tell me where we're going? 373 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:06,873 Because if it has the words "farmers" or "market" in it, I don't wanna go. 374 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,560 No. You were talking about all the things 375 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:10,114 you thought you would never have, 376 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,557 so, thought I would get you one. 377 00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:19,750 Oh, my God, you bought me the Batmobile? 378 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,912 What? No, no. No, no, no. 379 00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:26,840 I rented you the Batmobile for the day. 380 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,435 This is amazing! Thank you. 381 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,634 Yeah, but be careful, I did not get the insurance. 382 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,229 Come on, Robin! 382 00:19:53,305 --> 00:20:53,842 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org