"The Big Bang Theory" The Meteorite Manifestation

1 00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:05,434 Ooh, it's freezing out here. 2 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,316 Would you like me to heat things up? 3 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:11,120 No, I wanna get in the hot tub before I loose a toe. 4 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:13,800 Oh. 5 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:15,040 That is bright. 6 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,675 Yeah, new neighbor put in floodlights. 7 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,320 So, shall we? 8 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:24,718 No, I don't wanna take my robe off under a spotlight. 9 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:26,553 This is a candle body. 10 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:28,435 Howdy, neighbors! 11 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:30,796 We haven't met yet, I'm Andy. 12 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,156 - Hi. - Oh, hello. Nice to meet you. 13 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:36,837 You know, your new balcony kinda looks right over our fence. 14 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:38,416 You might wanna put up some trees. 15 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:39,635 We can see everything. 16 00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:43,834 You can, but it's okay if you don't. 17 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,992 So, can you turn your lights off? 18 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,673 Sorry, they're motion-sensored. 19 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:50,840 They'll go off in a minute. 20 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,434 Just try to stay still. 21 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,232 What are we gonna do about this? 22 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:58,638 I say we wait until his lights go off 23 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:01,679 and then I make hot, motionless love to you. 24 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,231 Don't move. It's go time. 25 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,717 <i>Our whole universe was in a hot dense state</i> 26 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:17,599 <i>Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started...</i> 27 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:18,638 <i>Wait!</i> 28 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:19,835 <i>The earth began to cool</i> 29 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,240 <i>The autotrophs began to drool</i> 30 00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:22,800 <i>Neanderthals developed tools</i> 31 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,712 <i>We built a wall We built the pyramids</i> 32 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,679 <i>Math, science, history Unraveling the mystery</i> 33 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:29,797 <i>It all started with the Big Bang!</i> 34 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:30,880 <i>Bang!</i> 35 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,274 And his new balcony looks right down on our hot tub, 36 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,317 which meant we couldn't do anything. 37 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:45,440 So, you gave your kids Benadryl for nothing? 38 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:50,271 Why do I share with you? You're such a yenta. 39 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:54,513 Are we done talking about Howard's failed conjugal relations? 40 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,274 I have an actual Nobel Prize crisis to deal with. 41 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:59,216 Has anything changed since the last time we talked about it? 42 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:00,536 - No. - Is there anything you can do about it? 43 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,394 - No. - Then shut up or go wait in the car. 44 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:08,594 Excuse me, remember you all came here to check out my cool new laser? 45 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:10,632 Oh, right. I'm gonna go wait in the car. 46 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:14,311 Okay, the best part is that it's europium-based, so... 47 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:19,236 And then Andy said if we want privacy, we should plant some trees. 48 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:20,616 The only way I know how to do that 49 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:23,394 is to give a dollar and a tree shows up in Israel. 50 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:27,439 - Okay. Anyway, so because it's... - Hey. 51 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,751 I need some help with a meteorite I found. 52 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,354 Oh, I'd be happy to. 53 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:34,717 Oh, no, I meant Raj. I really need an astrophysicist. 54 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:36,840 Wow. 55 00:02:36,841 --> 00:02:38,673 This is exactly like a dream I had, 56 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,917 except in the dream, you're Gal Gadot. 57 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:46,271 I don't really have dreams, when I sleep or in life. 58 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:51,197 Anyway, I X-rayed this meteorite 59 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:54,239 and it looks like there's some sort of organic signature inside of it, 60 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:55,816 but I could really use another opinion. 61 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,440 All right, great, let's go check it out. 62 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,916 Cool, I'm gonna stay here and show Howard how... 63 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,000 I wanna see it. 64 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:05,798 Okay. Well, thanks for stopping by. 65 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,318 Screw them, that's cool. 66 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:15,993 Hey, I'm not sure we're in the right line. 67 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:17,639 Is this for the City Zoning Office? 68 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:22,112 Yes, it is. Or as we call it here, "the zone zone." 69 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,520 No, we don't. 70 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:30,397 That's Linda. Ignore her, she's going through the change. 71 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:35,235 - Now, how can I help you? - Our neighbor built a balcony 72 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,336 that looks right into our backyard, and we're trying to see 73 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:38,536 if there's anything we could do about it. 74 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:40,120 Well, you have come to the right place. 75 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:42,336 You know, a lot of people handle this type of thing online, 76 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,875 but I always say nothing beats the human touch. 77 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,096 Oh, but don't worry. I'm not gonna actually touch you. 78 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:50,874 We had quite the informative meeting on that. 79 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,956 We just want a little privacy in our backyard. 80 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,320 You know, for... 81 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:00,834 Maybe we should've done this online. 82 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:04,355 No, no, no, no. The zone zone is a safe zone. 83 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,512 Stop saying "zone zone!" 84 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,992 So, is there anything we can do? 85 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,595 Absolutely. Do you know if they have permits for the balcony? 86 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,680 No, we were hoping you could check. 87 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:16,877 I certainly can. I just need you to fill out a form. 88 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:19,919 And we have them available in Armenian, Chinese, Cambodian, 89 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,720 English, Farsi, Korean, Spanish and Vietnamese. 90 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:26,432 Well, English, obviously. 91 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,871 Well, we're not allowed to presume. That was a whole other meeting. 92 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:34,792 So, we just fill out the form and that's it? 93 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,073 Oh, no. No, you need to fill it out, 94 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,736 and then you need to bring it down to the Office of Code Compliance. 95 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,320 Now, if your neighbors don't have a permit, 96 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:44,936 you can file an official complaint. But if they do have a permit, 97 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:47,794 then you have to make the case that the balcony constitutes a nuisance, 98 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:49,712 an encumbrance or an encroachment. 99 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:50,856 And you have to decide which, 100 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:52,792 because they are three totally separate forms. 101 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,176 This is starting to seem like more trouble than it's worth. 102 00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,953 I know, right? 103 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,677 - You okay? - Yeah. 104 00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:08,480 Great, 'cause you just bought that whole row of <i>Batmans.</i> 105 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:10,920 Sorry. I... 106 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:16,752 Now you bought <i>Aquaman</i>. Good choice. 107 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:21,517 If you want cold medicine, Stuart has the entire run of DayQuils, 108 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,320 including the rare "DayQuilt" misprint from 1996. 109 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:27,600 What can I say, I'm a collector. 110 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:31,229 Thanks, but I'm fine, I think it's just allergies. 111 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:32,595 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 112 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:34,797 Hey. Heads-up, if that <i>Aquaman</i> feels wet, 113 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:36,951 it's not a gimmick, Leonard sneezed on it. 114 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,391 - You sick? - Ah, it's just allergies. 115 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:45,110 Oh, so, check it out, this meteorite that Bert found is really cool. 116 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,040 We did a spectrographic analysis and there's... 117 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,878 There's definitely something going on inside. 118 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:53,155 Whoa, uh, hey, if you want, we could use my new laser to cut it open. 119 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,918 Uh, thanks, but Bert's got this water-cooled, diamond-bladed saw. 120 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:00,558 Well, sure, but with my laser, you'd get a thinner slice, 121 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,120 which would make for a better sample. 122 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:03,196 Whoa, whoa. 123 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:06,273 You're not gonna cut open a meteor, are you? 124 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,957 Have you not learned anything from comic books? 125 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:13,355 Space viruses, pod people? 126 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:15,994 I sell nothing but warnings. 127 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,990 Calm down, Stuart. You're being a little crazy. 128 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,833 Oh, is he? Is he being crazy? 129 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,160 Or is he the only one around here who's making any sense? 130 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:29,513 It's nice they found each other. 131 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,470 Yeah. So, anyway, you wanna use my laser? 132 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,473 Eh, sorry, it's kinda Bert's thing and he wants to do it his way. 133 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,832 Okay. Yeah, that's cool. 134 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,960 Just seems dumb to not use the laser. 135 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:49,154 Not as dumb as unleashing a plague on mankind, but, hey, what do we know? 136 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:51,596 Literally nothing. 137 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,349 We spent half the day down at the City Planning Office 138 00:06:58,440 --> 00:06:59,999 and didn't solve a thing. 139 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:01,720 Now we have to go back tomorrow. 140 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,838 The Planning Office? You lucky ducks. 141 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:08,760 Yeah, this one made me go for ice cream and talk about her day. 142 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:10,718 Spoiler alert, it was fine. 143 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,560 Uh, it wasn't fine, I got trapped in an elevator. 144 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,718 I may have missed a few details, the bottom of my cone was drippy. 145 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:24,916 So, now we have to download all these forms and fill them out. 146 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,231 We get it. Your life is great. Stop rubbing it in. 147 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:29,870 Yeah, quit it. 148 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:37,075 Is one of the forms the 599 B/C? Because if so, it has a doozy of typo. 149 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,416 - I don't know. - All right. Well, I don't wanna spoil 150 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:42,797 anything but you might wanna start practicing your "siglature." 151 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:47,576 Sheldon, if you like this stuff, 152 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,920 - why don't you come and do it with us? - Or instead of us? 153 00:07:50,801 --> 00:07:52,377 Do you mean it? No, no, wait, it's too late. 154 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:53,629 You can't take it back. Yes. 155 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:58,400 Amy, looks like the elevator might have been the high point of your day. 156 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,550 Where's Raj? 157 00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:03,154 Oh, he's working with Bert. 158 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,755 They're probably cutting their stupid meteorite open 159 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,553 with their stupid diamond saw. 160 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:10,309 - You okay? - Yeah. 161 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,915 I'm just a little run-down. It might be a head cold. 162 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:17,480 Purell. 163 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,080 Purell. 164 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:22,120 Purell. 165 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:24,470 Purell. 166 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:28,670 Can I top anybody off? 167 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,394 It's just so frustrating. 168 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,870 I know my laser would be way more efficient. 169 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:40,078 They're gonna lose so much meteorite due to kerf loss. 170 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:41,120 Mmm. 171 00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:43,919 I'm sorry your friends won't let you play kerf with them. 172 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:49,595 Don't make it sound childish. It's the scientific word for dust. 173 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:51,514 What was wrong with dust? 174 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,790 Are you sure you're not just a little jealous? 175 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:58,714 Uh, no, it's just my way is better but they won't even consider it. 176 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:00,395 Well, it's their loss. 177 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,856 Look, why don't you go to bed? I'll run out and get you some medicine. 178 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,641 Oh, it's okay, Stuart gave me some when I was at the comic book store. 179 00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:08,036 Really? You're taking medicine from Stuart? 180 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:11,080 Doesn't he need, like, all of it? 181 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:13,960 Mmm. He's got plenty. 182 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,832 His pill caddy is, like, this big. 183 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,496 All right. Well, why don't you go to bed? I'll sleep out here on the couch. 184 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,637 No, no, no. You take the bed, I'll stay out here. 185 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,279 Even better. Sweet dreams, snot-bag. 186 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:30,715 See what I'm talking about? 187 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:34,193 Oh, yes. Oh, that is textbook encroachment. 188 00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:36,597 And I know because I have the textbook. 189 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:39,356 First edition. 190 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:42,919 Watch what happens when you move. 191 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:44,640 Oh! 192 00:09:44,641 --> 00:09:46,757 Oh, boy. You weren't kidding. 193 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,480 Oh, those are ten thousand lumens if they're a lumen. 194 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,880 Well, you know what they say, when life give you lumens, 195 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,440 make lumen-ade. 196 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:56,956 Was that a joke? 197 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:58,680 Yes. 198 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,630 Based on the premise that lumen sounds like lemon? 199 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:04,360 Yes. 200 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:06,880 That's hilarious. 201 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:11,871 Okay, what is the setback on property lines in this neighborhood? 202 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:13,160 Oh, I don't know. 203 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:15,640 Well, it must be on the permit from when you built your deck. 204 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:18,719 Uh, yeah, my dad built this, we didn't do the whole permit thing. 205 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:23,109 Here we go. 206 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:27,590 Are you saying I'm standing on an unpermitted deck? 207 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,554 It's been here for years, Sheldon. It's fine. 208 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:30,936 How did the inspector not flag this 209 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,960 when he came to check out your bathroom renovation? 210 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:40,316 Are you telling me that I have showered in an uninspected bathroom? 211 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,993 You've showered in our house? 212 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:44,555 You made me hold your children. What did you expect me to do? 213 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:52,074 214 00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:58,839 You think you know people. 215 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,438 You do know them, Sheldon. 216 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,876 Yeah, but do we? Do we really know them? 217 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,109 Yes. 218 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:11,800 They're rulebreakers, Amy. And you know what we do with rulebreakers? 219 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:13,833 Complain about them to our spouse 220 00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:15,912 until she's ready to drive into oncoming traffic? 221 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,998 You can't cross a double yellow line. What is this, <i>The Purge?</i> 222 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:22,680 So, I guess you're not gonna help them. 223 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:26,031 Oh, I'm gonna help them. Help them get on the right side of Johnny Law. 224 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,079 Oh, you can't turn them in. 225 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:30,336 The city is gonna make them rip out 226 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:31,999 all the work they've done and do it over. 227 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,673 It would be the end of your friendship. 228 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,672 What choice do I have? These are the rules. 229 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,240 Sheldon, I am begging you. 230 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,256 - Please don't do this. - You know who doesn't get permits 231 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,033 for their decks? Animals. 232 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,080 Animals don't have decks. 233 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:47,039 Yeah, oh, really? I have one word for you. Beavers. 234 00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:56,080 Bert? Raj? 235 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,000 Huh. 236 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,951 Can't believe they're gonna cut that with this punk-ass diamond saw. 237 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:14,836 Jesus. 238 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:28,794 Oh, hey, look. 239 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,273 "Siglature." 240 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,035 Next. 241 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:38,750 - Hello. - Hi. Welcome to the zone zone. 242 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,360 Oh, that's funny. 243 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:44,237 I also have a joke for you. 244 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:45,670 "Lumenade." 245 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:49,115 Maybe I told it wrong. 246 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:51,156 Well, how can I help you? 247 00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:54,479 If I know someone in violation of the building code, 248 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:55,630 should I turn them in? 249 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,271 - Interesting question. - Yeah, I know. 250 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,352 Because on the one hand, Confucius says 251 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:03,194 we owe a greater responsibility to people we're close with, 252 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:04,873 rather than to society at large. 253 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,520 But on the other hand, Socrates says that we're obligated 254 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:10,035 to obey all laws, even unjust ones. 255 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,396 And then, furthermore, if we're entertaining rules 256 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:15,473 about when it's okay to break the rules, well, actually, where does it end? 257 00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:18,155 Well, for me, it ends at five o'clock. 258 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,158 Well, I just... I don't know what to do. 259 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,000 All I can tell you is that the building codes 260 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:26,474 are there for everyone's safety. 261 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,560 Oh, so, you're saying I have no choice but to turn them in. 262 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:31,360 I did not say that. 263 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,320 Well, would you? 264 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,480 And remember that I laughed at your "zone zone" joke. 265 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,239 It's not even a joke! 266 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,195 Oh, is that Linda back there? 267 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:42,280 - Yeah. - Aw. 268 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,639 How are her hot flashes? Any better? 269 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:45,790 No. 270 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:50,296 Leonard, what are you doing? 271 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:53,040 Showing you that this is the better way. 272 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,630 Stop. Whatever's inside there is dangerous. 273 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,036 Whoa. 274 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,438 And pretty. 275 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:07,760 What is that? 276 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,194 Are you okay? 277 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,875 Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just feeling a little... 278 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:21,600 Hungry. 279 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:25,914 Stop eating Bert! 280 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,437 Keep eating Bert! 281 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:36,016 - Leonard? Leonard? - What? What? 282 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:37,440 You were having a bad dream. 283 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,358 Oh, thank God. 284 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,153 I was eating my friends. 285 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,436 Well, one friend and one acquaintance. 286 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:45,159 You know what, Bert's okay. Two friends. 287 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,960 Let me see if you're running a fever. 288 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,519 Oh, yeah. You're burning up. 289 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,677 Jeez! 290 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,078 Are you okay? 291 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,120 That depends. What color are my eyes? 292 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:03,600 I don't know. Brown? 293 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:05,194 No, green. No, wait, brown. 294 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,396 Oh, good. I'm awake. 295 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,119 Howie, someone's here to see you. 296 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:14,800 Hello. 297 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,234 Hey. What's going on? 298 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:18,840 Can you come over here? 299 00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:22,637 Sheldon, the deck is safe. You can walk on it. 300 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:30,994 Oh, that gets the heart going. Mmm. 301 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,520 So, what's up? 302 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,593 I went down to the City Code Compliance Office to turn you in. 303 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,032 - Are you kidding? - But I didn't do it. 304 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,510 I filled out the form and then realized 305 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:44,798 that the unwritten rules of friendship are more important 306 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:46,274 than the written rules 307 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,875 of the City of Altadena's Zoning and Planning Department. 308 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,076 Aw. 309 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:52,199 Really? "Aw"? 310 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,256 And you'll be happy to know that while I was there, 311 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:56,873 I did look into your neighbor's balcony 312 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:58,713 and it is encroaching on your property line. 313 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,312 I had all this pent-up snitch energy, so I reported him hard. 314 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,616 - What did they say? - He's going to have to remove it. 315 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,472 So, the good guys win? 316 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,870 Well, I don't know if I'd call you the good guys. 317 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,360 You're enforcing a law on him 318 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:13,056 that you're willfully ignoring yourselves. 319 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:14,116 All right, fine. 320 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,197 So, the morally compromised guys win! 321 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:18,350 Apparently so. 322 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:19,696 Now, if one of you would be kind enough 323 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,400 to take me home, I need to use my bathroom. 324 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,040 What's wrong with the one here? 325 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:24,430 I'm sorry, I wanna live. 326 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:31,240 Hey. You guys got a second? 327 00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:34,592 Leonard, I told you, buddy, we don't need to use your laser. 328 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:36,677 Yeah, all we need is Terry Brad-saw. 329 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:39,993 That's what I named my saw. 330 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:45,039 No, I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. I just... 331 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,319 I think I was jealous, you know. 332 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:49,956 Sheldon and Amy might win a Nobel Prize 333 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,236 and now, you guys have this cool meteorite project. 334 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,275 - Really, you're jealous of us? - Yeah. 335 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:59,397 I even had this crazy dream last night where I ate you both. 336 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,155 Seriously? 337 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,312 - Yeah, I know. - I was pretty out of it. 338 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,235 Who'd you eat first? 339 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:10,833 Oh, uh, you. 340 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:12,670 Nice. 341 00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:21,793 This is just delightful. 342 00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:23,360 Yeah. 343 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,160 Do you think he knows we're the ones that got him in trouble? 344 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:28,549 Who cares? 345 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,395 I do. I met his wife, she seems really nice. 346 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,917 Sorry about the noise, neighbor! 347 00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:35,120 No problem! 348 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:38,838 Hey, do you guys know a Sheldon Cooper? 349 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,200 No, we do not! 350 00:17:53,780 --> 00:17:56,534 So, is it just me or has no one been in the store for hours? 351 00:17:57,300 --> 00:17:58,529 Yeah, it is weirdly quiet. 352 00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:04,336 Nobody is in the street. 353 00:18:04,420 --> 00:18:06,252 Huh. Well, that's strange. 354 00:18:07,180 --> 00:18:08,276 You thinking what I'm thinking? 355 00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:10,735 They cut that meteorite open and unleashed a space plague? 356 00:18:10,980 --> 00:18:11,980 Exactly. 357 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:14,495 Lock up here. 358 00:18:14,580 --> 00:18:15,650 Okay. So, what do we do? 359 00:18:15,740 --> 00:18:17,777 Uh, well, if this is a worst-case scenario 360 00:18:17,860 --> 00:18:19,156 and we're the last two people alive, 361 00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:21,820 we're gonna have to rebuild civilization. 362 00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:23,254 Do you have any special skills? 363 00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:25,729 I can draw. 364 00:18:27,660 --> 00:18:28,660 How about you? 365 00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:29,740 I can play clarinet. 366 00:18:30,220 --> 00:18:32,291 - Oh, I didn't know that. - Yeah, ten years. 367 00:18:32,420 --> 00:18:33,420 - Ah. - Yes. 368 00:18:33,940 --> 00:18:37,695 You know, it might also be up to us 369 00:18:37,780 --> 00:18:39,772 to repopulate the earth. 370 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:42,249 I'm okay with that. 371 00:18:43,380 --> 00:18:45,690 So, shall we? 372 00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:50,100 Wait here, I'm gonna brush my teeth. 373 00:18:57,580 --> 00:18:58,900 Sorry, we're closed. 374 00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:02,499 This is going on Yelp! 375 00:19:03,305 --> 00:20:03,875 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org