"Rick and Morty" Morty Daddy

1 00:00:04,380 --> 00:00:07,882 I gotta ask, is someone requesting pancakes 2 00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:10,927 because it feels like we eat them all the time. 3 00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:13,972 [ Cellphone buzzing ] 4 00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:16,224 It just says, "The hospital." 5 00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:17,600 Bold caller I.D. 6 00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:21,062 Hello? Oh. H-Hey, Junior. 7 00:00:21,063 --> 00:00:22,605 Oh, geez. 8 00:00:22,606 --> 00:00:25,734 Oh. Oh, okay. Yeah. Bye. 9 00:00:25,735 --> 00:00:28,361 That was my son... 10 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,905 Morty Jr., with the hands, 11 00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:32,073 you know, coming out of his head. 12 00:00:32,074 --> 00:00:34,492 Oh fuuuuuuck that guy! 13 00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:35,618 Ugh. Boo. 14 00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:37,203 - Guys! Come on! - Morty. 15 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,705 He wrote a "New York Times" bestseller 16 00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,957 about what a bad dad you are. 17 00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:43,084 It made us look bad for raising you. 18 00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:46,087 From one writer to another, the guy is a hack piece of shit. 19 00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:48,047 It's okay to hate your kids, Morty. 20 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,508 But he called from the hospital. 21 00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:52,010 [ Gasps ] You think he's dying? 22 00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:53,261 Who cares? 23 00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:55,680 [ Cellphone buzzing ] 24 00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:57,515 Well, it's not me. 25 00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:59,893 [ Burps ] Oh, shit. Our table's ready. 26 00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:01,311 OMG! 27 00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:02,937 Summer made me get a reservation for us 28 00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,856 at some dumb Pre-Cog restaurant. 29 00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:06,399 It's the toast of Food-Tok. 30 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,776 They predetermine what you'd want to eat 31 00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:09,986 before you even get there. 32 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,529 Time to see if this place is worth having to go to it. 33 00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:13,531 It'll beat this shit. [ Glass shatters ] 34 00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:15,033 - Opa! - [ Glass shatters ] 35 00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:17,702 Hey, Morty. Sorry about your terrible son. 36 00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:19,746 I say let him die alone in that hospital bed. 37 00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:21,164 [ Buzzing ] 38 00:01:21,165 --> 00:01:23,166 Damn. Rule of threes, huh? 39 00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:25,126 Oh! My vibrator. 40 00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:27,170 Sorry, honey. 41 00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:29,172 <i>Our</i> vibrator. 42 00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:31,925 What, do you want me to pull it out and show it to you? 43 00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:33,551 - We're good. - Let's get the hell out of here. 44 00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:35,929 Jesus Christ. 45 00:01:35,930 --> 00:02:07,460 {\an8}♪ 46 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:10,255 Welcome back to "Downbeat: The Game The Show." 47 00:02:10,256 --> 00:02:12,799 Contestants, you know the rules. 48 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,634 Father, you came. 49 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:18,096 {\an8}Junior. Wow, you got old fast. 50 00:02:18,097 --> 00:02:20,808 {\an8}Well, time flies when you're a Gazorpian. 51 00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:25,395 {\an8}I suppose you read the book. 52 00:02:25,396 --> 00:02:28,398 {\an8}It was hard to avoid for a while. 53 00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:30,191 {\an8}Yeah, you said some tough stuff 54 00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:31,985 {\an8}to a pretty wide audience. 55 00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:33,903 {\an8}I'm... sorry. 56 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:37,448 {\an8}Hey, that's family, I guess. 57 00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:41,244 {\an8}Can't help but notice you're... dying? 58 00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:43,162 {\an8}[ Chuckles ] I didn't ask you here 59 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,789 {\an8}to talk about that. 60 00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:48,459 {\an8}I was hoping you'd help me make peace with my mother. 61 00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:52,755 {\an8}Ohh... yeah. That might be tough. 62 00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:56,342 {\an8}Um, the thing is, your mother was... 63 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,011 {\an8}A semen receptacle? 64 00:02:58,012 --> 00:03:02,515 {\an8}Oh. You, uh, you heard. Huh? 65 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:03,766 {\an8}I know she was made to process seed 66 00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,894 {\an8}and never technically alive, 67 00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:08,646 {\an8}but I'd still like to pay my respects. 68 00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:12,567 {\an8}Well, see, I'm not proud of where she ended up. 69 00:03:12,568 --> 00:03:15,194 {\an8}You think I'm proud of any of my life choices? 70 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:18,197 {\an8}Yeah, I did hear about the, uh, 71 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,657 {\an8}the soft canceling. 72 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,242 {\an8}Oh. 73 00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:23,328 {\an8}I didn't take any joy from it. 74 00:03:23,329 --> 00:03:25,956 {\an8}You know what? Let's-- Let's see what we can do. 75 00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:31,502 {\an8}Summer: I love when restaurants have a big tank. 76 00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:32,962 {\an8}I don't know, this aesthetic 77 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:34,297 {\an8}really clashes with the table buzzer. 78 00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:36,382 {\an8}Smith, party of two. 79 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,760 {\an8}Oh, my God. So worth it. 80 00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:40,428 {\an8}Perfectly predicted. 81 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:43,265 {\an8}Oh, I did want this, but I never saw it coming. 82 00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:47,060 {\an8}Oh, snap, the wooden balls. 83 00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:48,645 {\an8}You think the cogs are behind there? 84 00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:50,229 {\an8}Who cares? This place is all gimmick. 85 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,398 {\an8}Are you grumpy about everything? 86 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:55,276 {\an8}They bring you food and you eat it. 87 00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,986 {\an8}Ooh, that's totally us. 88 00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:59,197 {\an8}What do you think I ordered, ribs? No, boring. 89 00:03:59,198 --> 00:04:02,659 {\an8}Space ribs. 90 00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:05,620 {\an8}Oh, nice. Morlackian fawn. 91 00:04:05,621 --> 00:04:07,373 {\an8}Aside its mother's tentacle. 92 00:04:09,375 --> 00:04:11,167 {\an8}Mm. Pretty good. 93 00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:13,837 {\an8}See? Lay it on me. 94 00:04:15,965 --> 00:04:17,006 {\an8}Avocado toast? 95 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,342 {\an8}With cracked pepper on top. 96 00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:20,885 {\an8}O...kay. 97 00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:23,012 {\an8}I mean, pepper's pretty normal. 98 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:26,016 {\an8}So are you. You brought us to a restaurant from the Internet. 99 00:04:27,685 --> 00:04:29,395 [ Whirs, beeps ] 100 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:33,481 Ew. Okay. 101 00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:36,275 Yes, I guess I deserve this. 102 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,361 You're not pranking me? 103 00:04:38,362 --> 00:04:40,571 No, no, this is where Gwendolyn was laid to rest. 104 00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:42,782 Is this your trash bin? 105 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:46,035 Rick's... gar-bage por-tal. 106 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:47,745 Uh, it doesn't sound any better. 107 00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,914 Look, I told you I wasn't proud of this. 108 00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,416 Alright then. 109 00:04:51,417 --> 00:04:53,918 [ Clears throat ] "Mother, 110 00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:57,046 I'm told your mouth was always open. 111 00:04:57,047 --> 00:05:00,842 But I'm sure your heart was as well." 112 00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:02,885 Ah, who am I kidding? This sucks. 113 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:05,805 Wait. I-I see you're making a move to go in. 114 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:08,516 I will go in first. Okay? 115 00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:10,226 Morty Jr.: Whoa! 116 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:12,645 How much stuff does your grandfather throw away? 117 00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,564 A lot. 118 00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:15,690 He likes to get drunk and invent stuff 119 00:05:15,691 --> 00:05:16,733 that doesn't make any sense. 120 00:05:16,734 --> 00:05:18,609 Pretty wasteful. 121 00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:20,862 Yeah, that's why Rick built Salva-tron-- 122 00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:22,864 a self-replicating system 123 00:05:22,865 --> 00:05:24,574 that filters the trash for anything valuable. 124 00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:27,035 Oh, they're coming over. Just a formality. 125 00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:29,454 {\an8}Salva-tron: Value detected. Value detected. 126 00:05:29,455 --> 00:05:31,914 {\an8}[ Clears throat ] Uh... hmm. 127 00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:34,042 {\an8}Uh, hesitancy detected? 128 00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:35,543 {\an8}Yeah. What's up? 129 00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:38,004 Uh, it's just if I find anything of value, 130 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,006 I have to tell Rick about it. 131 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:42,091 Okay. 132 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,218 And, you know, talking to Rick can be dicey. 133 00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,971 I mean, the last Salva-tron found a bag of diamonds, 134 00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:49,390 and Rick yelled at them about how diamonds are bullshit. 135 00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:52,393 Right. But I'm his grandson. 136 00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:54,854 How do I know he didn't throw his grandson away? 137 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,398 Sorry, pal, but I can't risk it. 138 00:05:57,399 --> 00:06:00,193 Good news is, you will look like trash when I'm done. 139 00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:01,611 Run! 140 00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,696 How was that good news?! 141 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,616 - [ Gasps ] - Mmm-mmm. 142 00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:07,867 Even the plate tastes good. 143 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,243 What's the story with dessert? 144 00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,787 Can I just ask for lava cake? 145 00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:13,039 Or do I have to think it at them? 146 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,916 Alright, I'll try it. 147 00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:16,835 Maybe I'm missing something. 148 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,298 No! It's just fucking avocado toast! 149 00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:24,134 And the avocado's not even that ripe. 150 00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,346 Summer, this place runs on future-predicty 151 00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:29,806 pre-cog bullshit. 152 00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:30,766 You don't want to get caught up in that. 153 00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:34,936 - I'm gonna say something. - No! Summer! 154 00:06:34,937 --> 00:06:38,439 You're not Morty. I can't just grab you. 155 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:39,690 Which one of you assholes-- 156 00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:41,067 Did this to me? 157 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,276 Hey, no finishing my sentences. 158 00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:43,653 You're wrong about me. 159 00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,321 I want hype, sophisticated space food 160 00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,240 with an element of cruelty in its preparation. 161 00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:50,034 Come on, Sum-Sum, they're clearly luring us 162 00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:51,285 into some complicated, 12-steps-ahead examination 163 00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:53,204 of determinism and causality. 164 00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:55,414 Anything you do here pulls us further into their bullshit. 165 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,874 - I'm-- - Pre-Cogs: More complex than that. 166 00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,417 - I said stop that! - I said stop that! 167 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,044 Ohh! You guys think you know everything 168 00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:02,421 with your big heads and slimming bodysuits, 169 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:06,134 but maybe you won't see <i>this!</i> 170 00:07:06,135 --> 00:07:07,677 Ow! Fuck! 171 00:07:07,678 --> 00:07:09,887 Jesus, Summer! You hit it with a pan? 172 00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:11,180 I thought it would see it coming. 173 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:13,182 I even teed it up a little. 174 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:14,767 Officer: <i>Summer Smith, come out with your hands up.</i> 175 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,686 <i>You are under arrest.</i> 176 00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:18,229 - How'd the cops get here so fast? - They obviously-- 177 00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:19,522 Pre-Cogs: Called in a tip ahead of time. 178 00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:21,566 Ohh! You like that? 179 00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:23,818 You like us saying the same thing at the same time? 180 00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:25,319 'Cause that could be the whole story, Summer. 181 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:26,863 Except it won't, because-- 182 00:07:26,864 --> 00:07:28,364 Pre-Cogs: The cops are surrounding us. 183 00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,575 Shut up! We're stuck in this now. 184 00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:32,368 The only reason I haven't burned this place to the ground 185 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:34,412 is because the cogs probably want that. 186 00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:37,123 Rick Sanchez will realize the cogs are a better hang. 187 00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:39,167 What? That would only be true if-- 188 00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:41,502 The cogs only want what he wants. 189 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:44,255 - Okay. What do I want? - Dessert! 190 00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:45,506 It is already ordered. 191 00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:47,091 Pre-Cog 2: To a cool safehouse. 192 00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:48,885 I'm listening. 193 00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:49,969 You're flipping sides over dessert? 194 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,054 Hey, I like my meal. 195 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,598 But this is exactly what you said they'd do to me. 196 00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:55,308 Yeah. And you got us into this mess. 197 00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:57,852 New plan, Summer, we're taking these cogs to go. 198 00:07:57,853 --> 00:07:59,770 [ Both screaming ] 199 00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:01,230 Come back! 200 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:02,481 Maybe I just need to scan you again. 201 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:06,152 [ Both screaming ] 202 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:09,030 Guys? Hello? 203 00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:11,032 I see a bunch of rubble. 204 00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,784 Is it safe to say I killed you? 205 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:17,997 Salva-tron, you've done it again. 206 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,416 [ Grunts ] Ah! Junior! 207 00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:23,211 Oh, God. Are you okay? 208 00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:24,879 I hope I didn't speed up your death. 209 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,299 I'm alright... I-I think. Is that 210 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,134 a walking pizza box? 211 00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,762 It's not safe here. Come quickly. 212 00:08:32,763 --> 00:08:34,764 We call it Garbtopia because it's made of garbage. 213 00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:36,474 Yeah, I got it. 214 00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:38,476 So Salva-tron's just been attacking everything? 215 00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:41,562 If it's all garbage, there's no need to tell Rick. 216 00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:44,106 Morty Jr.: Look at all these eclectic survivors. 217 00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:46,025 Morty: Yeah, there was a while 218 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,526 where Rick's inventions could all walk and talk. 219 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,029 Hey, big boy. Wanna drain that python? 220 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,114 Ehh, it was a short period. 221 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,116 Hey, uh, we're looking for someone. 222 00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:55,993 Can you help us? 223 00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:57,286 I think I saw her in the graveyard. 224 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,497 [ Farts ] 225 00:08:59,498 --> 00:09:01,332 Down that tunnel over there. 226 00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:03,459 Oh, and the pizza points the way. 227 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:04,835 Wish you hadn't shit it on the ground. 228 00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:07,255 I'm kind of hungry. Junior? 229 00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:11,634 Gobliniduss, claim your magic power! 230 00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,844 But how do I find it? 231 00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:16,097 ♪ Brave little goblin, all alone ♪ 232 00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:18,975 ♪ No parents here to raise you ♪ 233 00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:21,560 ♪ Go, little goblin, leave that home ♪ 234 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:25,022 ♪ Your magic will amaze you ♪ 235 00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:27,066 It's the enchanted Goblin series. 236 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,859 Yeah, it's like our Bible down here. 237 00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:31,153 I wrote "Enchanted Goblin." 238 00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,739 All seven books. 239 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,076 I guess you really enjoyed that box set I sent you. 240 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,494 We have a complicated relationship! 241 00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:40,830 No, no, 242 00:09:40,831 --> 00:09:42,915 my first book wouldn't exactly have left you aching for more. 243 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,042 That's all in the past, son. 244 00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:47,295 I'm glad we're on this adventure together. 245 00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:50,674 Now, what do you say we go see your dead mom? 246 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,927 Summer Smith, 2:00. 247 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,679 She complains about you having a good time. 248 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,180 Don't get in the water. 249 00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,348 I need a dry person to hand me things. 250 00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:01,142 We've been here for hours. 251 00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:02,435 By design, it's called holing up. 252 00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,478 Relax. 253 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,188 Have some of the giant eclair they knew would delight me. 254 00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,190 It really is so fun that it's big. 255 00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,484 Summer Smith will not relax. 256 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,528 Yeah, because Rick's hanging with you guys instead of me. 257 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:15,031 Summer, you threw a pan at them and they took us to a pool. 258 00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:16,240 The cogs are great. 259 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,826 Check this out. 260 00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:23,414 See this? We didn't rehearse it at all. 261 00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:25,791 So much for being trapped in its cog bullshit. 262 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,626 Weren't you all worried about its end game? 263 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,087 Summer, this is its endgame. It loves me. 264 00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:31,547 And if it wanted to be free, 265 00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:32,548 it could leave at any time it wants. 266 00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:33,883 Open-door policy. 267 00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:35,217 - Gasp! - Oh, come on. 268 00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:36,552 Like you didn't know I'd do that. 269 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,304 Why are you sulking? 270 00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,805 You wanted to be at a restaurant with cogs. 271 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,599 This is nominally different at best. 272 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,976 I wanted to be at a restaurant with you. 273 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,187 I just wanted you to try some cool shit with me. 274 00:10:46,188 --> 00:10:48,230 Summer, you wanted me on this dumb hang 275 00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:50,441 because deep down, you think you know what I want. 276 00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:53,819 This thing actually knows before I even want it. 277 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,280 Mmm. Wow. Eclair's good wet, too. 278 00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:57,782 Pre-Cogs: Rick does Jell-O shots. 279 00:10:57,783 --> 00:10:59,075 Rick does Jell-O shots. 280 00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:01,160 These cogs know what's up. 281 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,912 - [ Doorbell rings ] - Man: Jell-O shot delivery. 282 00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:05,039 Can you grab 'em, Summer? 283 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,665 This is why it's good to have someone out of the pool. 284 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,626 - I-- - Pre-Cogs: Hate these cog assholes. 285 00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:11,128 [ Laughing ] I love you guys. 286 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,588 All: Shots, shots, shots! 287 00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:15,216 My God. 288 00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:17,760 Yeah, I guess one man's trash 289 00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:21,263 is another man's beautiful cemetery? 290 00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:22,556 Looks like there's a sex-robot section 291 00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:23,809 over that way. 292 00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:28,897 There she is. 293 00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:32,691 Hello, Mother. 294 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,111 It's me, your baby boy. 295 00:11:35,112 --> 00:11:36,946 I wish I could have known you. 296 00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:39,907 She was the finest I ever had. 297 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,201 Well, top three. Top five, at least. 298 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,953 Oh, top five, eh? 299 00:11:43,954 --> 00:11:45,621 There's a lot more than five, too. 300 00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,206 It's high praise. 301 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,166 Your mom could really throw it back. 302 00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:51,210 Oh, I know a thing or two about ranking 303 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,420 whom I've slept with. 304 00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:54,422 Oh, yeah? 305 00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:57,174 Two words-- Heather Locklear. 306 00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,926 That's my boy. 307 00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:01,887 Thank you for bringing me here... Dad. 308 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,640 You're welcome, son. I'm happy we did this. 309 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:08,477 So... are... we! 310 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:09,520 {\an8}God! Who are you?! 311 00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:10,771 {\an8}L-Let us go! 312 00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:12,898 I am that which should not be. 313 00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:16,068 I am the trash of the trash. 314 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,446 They don't let me live with everyone else. 315 00:12:18,447 --> 00:12:21,115 Human boy. Rick spawn. 316 00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:24,243 I know you can open the door to the up-above. 317 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,619 Salva-tron will kill us up there! 318 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,955 I'll take my chances. 319 00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:29,290 I'm sorry, Junior. 320 00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:31,625 I <i>was</i> a horrible father. 321 00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:34,170 I didn't understand the consequences of anything. 322 00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:36,297 And now this thing's gonna kill us 323 00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:37,548 when you were already dying. 324 00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:39,091 I'm the fucking worst. 325 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,760 Well, I'm-- I'm not actually dying. 326 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,596 - What? - You just sort of inferred. 327 00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:46,515 Projected, really. I never said out loud I was dying. 328 00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:47,808 What?! 329 00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:49,018 I needed material for my new book. 330 00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:50,728 A sequel to "My Horrible Father." 331 00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:52,646 It's my only book that made money. 332 00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:54,857 Let me punch him! Let me punch my asshole son! 333 00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:56,942 You're both assholes. 334 00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:59,695 That conversation you just had about ranking women was gross. 335 00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:01,447 It was trash planet talk. 336 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,032 - So is this! - Oh! 337 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,242 - Ugh. - No! Junior! 338 00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:06,494 Junior!! 339 00:13:06,495 --> 00:13:09,747 Just another day in Garbtopia. 340 00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,750 - Let's ride. - No! 341 00:13:13,919 --> 00:13:15,211 You suck! My kid sucked, too, 342 00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:16,629 but I didn't want him to die. 343 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,130 Shut up! 344 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,466 - Open it with your meat paddle! - No! 345 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:23,302 [ Beeping, buzzes ] 346 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,638 Rick: <i>Looks like we got a Scenario 3 here, Morty.</i> 347 00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:27,681 <i>You're clearly leading some kind of trash rebellion</i> 348 00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:29,433 <i>or something is wearing your skin.</i> 349 00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,560 <i>I don't know, I only recorded three scenarios,</i> 350 00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:33,854 <i>and the other two are about you doing a Goonies.</i> 351 00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:37,066 <i>Anyway, talk to Salva-tron. They'll sort this out.</i> 352 00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:39,527 No, not Salva-tron! 353 00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:41,153 {\an8}Rick, it's not a Scenario 3! 354 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,114 No! Make that ladder come down! 355 00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:46,492 I'm trying! I don't want to be here either! 356 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,452 Aw, man, you're still alive?! 357 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,204 And what's this fucking thing? 358 00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:51,956 This is not good for me. 359 00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:53,165 Oh! 360 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,917 I have to get back... 361 00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:56,669 to my wife. 362 00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:57,879 [ Powering down ] 363 00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:00,965 Ah, shit. 364 00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:02,800 Crawl out farther so I can shoot you. 365 00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:05,469 Why would I do that? Ugh! 366 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:07,638 Fine. I'll do it myself. 367 00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:09,765 Seriously? 368 00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:11,475 This trash is not sturdy. 369 00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:15,020 Alright. I'm actually gonna go check this time. 370 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:18,984 There's tunnels down here?! Ah, geez. 371 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:21,860 Yoo-hoo! 372 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,988 [ Wolf-whistles ] 373 00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:26,699 Talk about value detected. 374 00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:27,825 Aah! 375 00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:30,619 [ Drones screaming ] 376 00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:33,664 She had more value than you could ever know. 377 00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:35,249 Junior! You're alive?! 378 00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,793 Courtesy of my loyal fans here. 379 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:40,462 These autograph hounds found me dying in the cemetery, 380 00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,131 patched me up and tunneled us to you. 381 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:44,425 You really found your audience, huh? 382 00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:46,969 I'm sorry for trying to sell you out again. 383 00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,887 The only thing that ever made me valuable was... 384 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,974 trashing you. 385 00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,602 I'm so broke, Dad. 386 00:14:54,603 --> 00:14:56,729 There are so many paternity lawsuits. 387 00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:59,481 Let's just say "The New Yorker" has been sniffing around. 388 00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,400 Listen, Salva-tron knows about the tunnels. 389 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:05,154 We got to warn everyone. Also, can you sign this now? 390 00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:07,990 [ Groans ] What the... 391 00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:10,451 Hello? [ Burps ] Summer? 392 00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:13,579 I think the cogs drugged me and bailed. 393 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:16,832 Summer?! 394 00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,917 - [ Truck horn blares ] - Aah! 395 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:22,546 Summer Smith drugs the cogs! Summer Smith drugs the cogs! 396 00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:24,298 Picked up on that, huh? 397 00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:25,841 Like you didn't know this was coming? 398 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,885 [ Tires screech, cogs scream ] 399 00:15:27,886 --> 00:15:29,470 Summer Smith gets us killed. 400 00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:32,556 That's right. Or the cogs tell the truth. 401 00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:34,183 Is avocado toast what I wanted? 402 00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:35,517 What? 403 00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:38,020 Is avocado toast what I wanted? 404 00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:39,521 Okay, okay. It wasn't. 405 00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,231 And I'm a good hang. 406 00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:43,525 You are. You were right. We used you 407 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,486 to get to your grandpa to get to you. 408 00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:46,987 Damn right. 409 00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,530 I knew I wasn't a basic avocado-ass bitch, 410 00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:50,282 so let's just get to where you want to get 411 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,660 so I can be free of this story. 412 00:15:52,661 --> 00:15:54,453 - We're down. - [ Truck horn honking ] 413 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,288 - Oh, shit. - Give me back my cogs! 414 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,956 Sorry, Grandpa! 415 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,416 You said not to get caught up in cog bullshit. 416 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,001 So I'm doing the opposite of that. 417 00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:02,586 This isn't the opposite of that. 418 00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:04,797 Summer Smith makes a hard right in two seconds. 419 00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:05,923 But that's a billboard. 420 00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:07,675 She makes a hard right. 421 00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:10,928 I'm trusting you guys! 422 00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:12,596 Holy shit. You guys are amazing. 423 00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:15,349 - [ Thud ] - You don't deserve my bald little beauties. 424 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,517 She does a barrel roll. 425 00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:19,938 [ Screaming ] 426 00:16:21,106 --> 00:16:22,815 You're ruining this, Summer! 427 00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:24,692 All that future-predicty cog nonsense 428 00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:25,859 was finally working for me. 429 00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:27,277 Aah! 430 00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:29,488 I thought you wanted to hang out today. 431 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,074 Not like this! 432 00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:34,159 She pulls the parking brake. 433 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,829 [ Rick screaming ] 434 00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,333 Left. Right. Right. Left. 435 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,627 She runs her grandpa off the freeway! 436 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:46,463 Uh! Aah! 437 00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:49,174 Trash people. My people. 438 00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:52,010 - Salva-tron knows of Garbtopia. - No! 439 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:55,431 Our only chance is to take this battle to them! 440 00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:57,433 Uh, if I may. 441 00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:58,976 It would be suicide to take a run at Salva-tron's tower. 442 00:16:58,977 --> 00:17:00,227 I agree. 443 00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:01,562 Don't listen to him. 444 00:17:01,563 --> 00:17:02,771 That's just Devil's Advocate bot. 445 00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,523 I'm glad Rick trashed him. 446 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:08,026 Uh, if I may. You don't look glad. 447 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,027 [ All murmuring in agreement ] 448 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,530 [ Horn blowing ] 449 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,449 Damn, what a noise. 450 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,659 [ Horn blows ] 451 00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:17,703 The Horn of Gobliniduss is a reminder 452 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,538 that anything is possible. 453 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:20,914 It was blown before they toppled 454 00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:22,249 Gobnobb the Elf Son in book two. 455 00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:23,959 And Bluegalshmoo in book three. 456 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,003 Also the White Wizard in book four. 457 00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:28,714 Alright, I get it. I went to the same well a lot. 458 00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,591 You read "Enchanted Goblin"? 459 00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,176 Yeah, I loved it. 460 00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:34,261 I'm 14. I'm the target audience. 461 00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:35,804 {\an8}Salva-tron's at the gates! 462 00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:46,732 {\an8}♪ 463 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,442 {\an8}Salva-tron: Value not detected. 464 00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:52,322 Pow! Right in the pisser. 465 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:57,159 I fell for a urinal bomb?! 466 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,286 That's so embarrassing! 467 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:02,122 Morty, my life was great until you showed up! 468 00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:03,999 [ Growls ] 469 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,543 Eat shit in Hell, tower! 470 00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:08,337 Watch out! 471 00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:16,512 {\an8}♪ 472 00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:20,933 My people! Topple your oppressor! 473 00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:22,477 [ All yelling ] 474 00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:31,151 Salva-tron: Don't... tell Rick... about this. 475 00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:33,737 [ Powering down ] 476 00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:36,990 Poor Salva-tron. They were just like us, 477 00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:39,243 afraid of being discarded. 478 00:18:39,244 --> 00:18:42,371 But today we begin a new era, 479 00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:46,167 where everyone has value, especially authors. 480 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,419 I'm still a little trash. 481 00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,004 I guess you get it from your dad. 482 00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:52,923 - [ Chuckling ] - [ Laughs ] 483 00:18:52,924 --> 00:18:55,552 [ All screaming ] 484 00:19:02,934 --> 00:19:06,395 Right on time. This food truck is very busy. 485 00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:07,980 Yeah, there's even 486 00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:09,106 that staggering old man they mentioned. 487 00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:11,233 - Jesus. - Wow. 488 00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:13,235 You put us through all that just to help a burnt-out 489 00:19:13,236 --> 00:19:15,279 restaurant staff start a food truck? 490 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,030 Basic. 491 00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:19,741 She is more complex than that. 492 00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:22,202 Damn. Great dog. 493 00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:23,871 That's better than avocado toast? 494 00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,956 You don't get nuance. 495 00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:28,584 You sure you cogs don't want to keep hanging out? 496 00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:30,669 Was it ever real? 497 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:34,798 Rick Sanchez doesn't want to hear the answer to that. 498 00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:37,092 But if he did? 499 00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:40,012 Morty: Ow. Ooh. Ow. 500 00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:42,723 [ Sighs ] I tried the portal again. 501 00:19:42,724 --> 00:19:44,099 No dice. 502 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,642 Rick really hates "The Goonies." 503 00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:48,228 I think we're going to like it in Garbtopia. 504 00:19:48,229 --> 00:19:51,315 In fact, I've taken a trash wife. 505 00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:53,233 You've taken her? 506 00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:55,819 We gave ourselves to each other. 507 00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:58,947 I'd stay down here even if there was a way out. 508 00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,282 They won't be able to make you 509 00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:01,533 pay child support down here, huh? 510 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:04,244 [ Chuckling ] Oh, Dad. 511 00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:07,289 Look at the two of us, spending time together. 512 00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:09,083 Yeah. This is nice. 513 00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:15,464 Is that a food truck? 514 00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:17,382 We're already gentrifying. 515 00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:19,426 Rick! Rick! Rick, get me out of here! 516 00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:21,303 Oh, God! 517 00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:23,305 Don't worry. Our son won't be like him. 518 00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:25,641 It's nothing personal. I'm only 14. 519 00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:27,267 I gotta get out of here. 520 00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:29,603 That was the last time I saw my father. 521 00:20:29,604 --> 00:20:32,189 Once more, my mother's voice came to me, 522 00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:33,774 carried on the wind. 523 00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:35,651 "Be free, my son." 524 00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:38,028 {\an8}And somehow I did feel free. 525 00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:42,157 {\an8}My father was horrible and my mother was garbage. 526 00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,451 {\an8}But I knew myself now. 527 00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:47,788 {\an8}And somehow, that was enough. 528 00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:50,666 - Jerry: Told you. - That little shit. 529 00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:53,293 I can't believe he got a book deal on Rick's trash moon. 530 00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:56,296 Come on, we're boarding. You guys still read books? 531 00:20:56,297 --> 00:21:27,954 {\an8}♪ 532 00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:33,542 Order 53, hot cog, Chicago style. 533 00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:35,335 Uh, if I may, 534 00:21:35,336 --> 00:21:37,087 I know there's zero substitutions, 535 00:21:37,088 --> 00:21:39,339 but I would never want onions in my hot dog. 536 00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:40,799 Yes, you do. 537 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,592 Uh, if I may, I do not. 538 00:21:42,593 --> 00:21:45,804 You die of a massive coronary at the age of 43. 539 00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:50,392 Uh, if-- if-- 540 00:21:50,393 --> 00:21:51,852 if I may. 541 00:21:51,853 --> 00:21:53,228 Boss wants to see you. 542 00:21:53,229 --> 00:21:54,980 Is that a prediction or...? 543 00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:56,858 Just go talk to him, Steve. 544 00:21:58,359 --> 00:21:59,360 Man: Did you get any of that?