"Saturday Night Live" Scarlett Johansson/Bad Bunny

1 00:00:02,769 --> 00:00:05,380 President Trump recently embarked on a historic trip to 2 00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:08,195 the Middle East in search of trade deals and alliances. 3 00:00:08,220 --> 00:00:09,220 He found both. 4 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:12,520 But he also found something else, something more powerful. 5 00:00:12,866 --> 00:00:14,146 He found love. 6 00:00:18,713 --> 00:00:22,673 Mom, Dad, this is Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman. 7 00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:24,385 And we're together now. 8 00:00:24,410 --> 00:00:25,430 Kidding, of course. 9 00:00:26,055 --> 00:00:27,335 But we are vibing. 10 00:00:27,622 --> 00:00:28,622 You are too kind. 11 00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:30,396 Habibi. 12 00:00:30,650 --> 00:00:31,290 Habibi. 13 00:00:31,464 --> 00:00:32,863 Habibi, what a word. 14 00:00:33,310 --> 00:00:35,930 But we've been having a lot of fun in the Middle East. 15 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,370 I've been having a great time. 16 00:00:37,610 --> 00:00:40,610 We've been eating a lot of meals sitting on the floor. 17 00:00:41,601 --> 00:00:43,927 Dipping our fingers straight into various 18 00:00:43,951 --> 00:00:47,221 goops and spreads that I politely scrape 19 00:00:47,246 --> 00:00:50,760 under the rug and go eat at a mobile McDonald's that you built for me. 20 00:00:50,785 --> 00:00:51,365 Isn't that right? 21 00:00:51,390 --> 00:00:52,645 Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. 22 00:00:52,670 --> 00:00:53,670 He's loving it. 23 00:00:55,404 --> 00:00:57,971 I, of course, am a big fan of everything that Saudi 24 00:00:57,996 --> 00:01:02,036 Arabia has to offer from the oil to the money. 25 00:01:02,905 --> 00:01:04,245 To end of list. 26 00:01:04,270 --> 00:01:08,545 But it's been a fantastic week in the Middle East. 27 00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:10,376 I also went to Qatar. 28 00:01:10,916 --> 00:01:12,803 Uh, the U-A-E. 29 00:01:12,828 --> 00:01:16,851 And, much like God did during Passover, I skipped Israel. 30 00:01:16,876 --> 00:01:17,668 Oh, well. 31 00:01:18,671 --> 00:01:20,405 I bet you were happy about that, though. 32 00:01:20,430 --> 00:01:21,430 You liked that, right? 33 00:01:23,511 --> 00:01:24,224 No comment. 34 00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:25,645 No comment. 35 00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:26,806 You don't want to say anything. 36 00:01:26,830 --> 00:01:27,510 Cancel culture. 37 00:01:27,905 --> 00:01:30,365 But I did make this trip. 38 00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:31,905 I didn't make this trip for myself. 39 00:01:31,930 --> 00:01:32,905 I want to make that clear. 40 00:01:32,930 --> 00:01:35,548 I did this for the American people. 41 00:01:35,790 --> 00:01:38,125 And, in many ways, myself. 42 00:01:38,150 --> 00:01:40,028 My... My personal enrichment. 43 00:01:40,053 --> 00:01:40,951 I did that, too. 44 00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:42,396 I did very well on this trip. 45 00:01:42,982 --> 00:01:44,295 Got a lot of cool stuff. 46 00:01:44,476 --> 00:01:48,365 Um... The Qataris gave me a $400 million plane. 47 00:01:48,390 --> 00:01:49,170 Can you believe that? 48 00:01:49,539 --> 00:01:51,511 And people said that was some sort of bribe. 49 00:01:51,536 --> 00:01:52,265 Not true. 50 00:01:52,566 --> 00:01:53,292 Not true. 51 00:01:53,317 --> 00:01:55,516 Because they haven't asked for anything in return. 52 00:01:56,809 --> 00:01:58,049 Well, not yet. 53 00:01:58,690 --> 00:02:00,430 All right, so it's a pre-bribe. 54 00:02:00,510 --> 00:02:01,270 It's a pre-bribe. 55 00:02:01,370 --> 00:02:03,481 But now people are saying, 56 00:02:03,505 --> 00:02:06,365 I should really be flying in an American plane. 57 00:02:06,390 --> 00:02:07,739 Uh, no thanks, honey. 58 00:02:08,130 --> 00:02:09,930 Have you seen what's going on with our planes? 59 00:02:11,285 --> 00:02:14,272 The radar is down and the screen is blank. 60 00:02:14,297 --> 00:02:14,872 Newark! 61 00:02:16,850 --> 00:02:17,330 Darling! 62 00:02:17,750 --> 00:02:18,930 What's... Where are we going? 63 00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:21,653 Where are we flying for our vacation? 64 00:02:22,230 --> 00:02:24,110 Honey, directly into the ground. 65 00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:26,650 But we just made a big... Oh, shut up. 66 00:02:26,750 --> 00:02:30,330 But we just made a big airplane deal with the crown prince. 67 00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:31,070 Tell them about it. 68 00:02:31,377 --> 00:02:36,357 Saudi Arabia will buy $1 billion worth of aircraft from Boeing. 69 00:02:37,129 --> 00:02:38,149 Your funeral. 70 00:02:38,805 --> 00:02:43,185 I also met with the leader of the UAE in Abu Dhabi. 71 00:02:43,210 --> 00:02:44,890 We like to say Abu Dhabi. 72 00:02:45,823 --> 00:02:50,366 Abu Dhabidu, like the late, great Fred Flintstone. 73 00:02:51,685 --> 00:02:56,345 The UAE promised to invest over a trillion dollars in the U.S. 74 00:02:56,630 --> 00:03:00,450 I love Dubai because they do buy a lot of weapons. 75 00:03:01,290 --> 00:03:04,170 Uh, but I've had a great trip here in the Middle East. 76 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:05,690 It was very much a boys' trip. 77 00:03:06,156 --> 00:03:07,916 I don't think I saw a single woman. 78 00:03:08,256 --> 00:03:09,436 What's up with that, huh? 79 00:03:10,025 --> 00:03:12,485 All the time, just walking into a room full of boys. 80 00:03:12,510 --> 00:03:13,510 Hi, boys. 81 00:03:14,136 --> 00:03:15,136 Boys again. 82 00:03:15,465 --> 00:03:16,765 The women are all hiding. 83 00:03:16,790 --> 00:03:18,270 It's like a nation of Melanias. 84 00:03:20,945 --> 00:03:21,985 Very funny, Habibi. 85 00:03:22,010 --> 00:03:23,010 There it is again. 86 00:03:23,230 --> 00:03:23,630 Habibi. 87 00:03:23,830 --> 00:03:24,950 I'm gonna look that up. 88 00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:25,530 I'm cooking. 89 00:03:25,670 --> 00:03:26,670 I'm having a great time. 90 00:03:27,030 --> 00:03:28,270 I'm just gonna say it. 91 00:03:28,330 --> 00:03:29,350 I love the Arabs. 92 00:03:29,470 --> 00:03:30,470 I love the Arabs. 93 00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:31,550 I don't want to go home. 94 00:03:31,551 --> 00:03:32,551 Let me stay. 95 00:03:32,830 --> 00:03:34,950 Uh, get me to Allah's country. 96 00:03:35,890 --> 00:03:37,350 Everyone loves me here. 97 00:03:37,470 --> 00:03:38,850 They're not allowed to not, right? 98 00:03:38,990 --> 00:03:39,190 Uh-huh. 99 00:03:39,670 --> 00:03:40,710 They have to love you. 100 00:03:40,830 --> 00:03:42,010 If not, bye-bye. 101 00:03:43,670 --> 00:03:44,670 Inshallah. 102 00:03:45,230 --> 00:03:46,390 Oh, I love that. 103 00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:47,190 I love that. 104 00:03:47,490 --> 00:03:48,810 Donald, please stay. 105 00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:50,890 Build a palace next to mine and stay. 106 00:03:51,310 --> 00:03:53,250 Oh, I sadly, I can't. 107 00:03:53,330 --> 00:03:54,630 I have to get back home. 108 00:03:55,090 --> 00:03:58,870 Luckily, we have our own little slice of Saudi Arabia in America. 109 00:03:58,871 --> 00:04:03,710 A dry desert area filled with people who are way too into their religion. 110 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,270 We call ours Utah. 111 00:04:06,130 --> 00:04:07,950 And, uh, I do very well there. 112 00:04:08,370 --> 00:04:10,410 So, I can't stay here in the Middle East. 113 00:04:10,510 --> 00:04:11,190 In fact, you know what? 114 00:04:11,290 --> 00:04:13,430 I can't even stay in this sketch much longer. 115 00:04:13,950 --> 00:04:15,030 Gonna have to leave. 116 00:04:15,090 --> 00:04:15,370 You know what? 117 00:04:15,410 --> 00:04:17,150 Because it's the SNL finale. 118 00:04:17,410 --> 00:04:18,190 Season 50. 119 00:04:18,370 --> 00:04:19,370 Worst one yet. 120 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:21,510 Okay, get up. 121 00:04:22,150 --> 00:04:23,090 Go ahead, get up. 122 00:04:23,170 --> 00:04:23,610 Get out of there. 123 00:04:23,690 --> 00:04:24,230 Let me sit here. 124 00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:24,470 Yeah. 125 00:04:24,850 --> 00:04:25,850 Go with it. 126 00:04:25,910 --> 00:04:27,770 Go eat sun chips in the hallway. 127 00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:32,318 I'm here to break the fourth wall. 128 00:04:32,350 --> 00:04:33,410 Oh, it's nice here. 129 00:04:33,810 --> 00:04:35,550 With all the young pretty people. 130 00:04:35,670 --> 00:04:35,890 Hello. 131 00:04:36,670 --> 00:04:37,390 Look at her. 132 00:04:37,530 --> 00:04:37,690 Wow. 133 00:04:38,530 --> 00:04:39,530 Sevens or more. 134 00:04:40,710 --> 00:04:41,450 Sevens or more. 135 00:04:41,650 --> 00:04:42,330 Sit on the floor. 136 00:04:42,570 --> 00:04:43,190 Six and below. 137 00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:44,370 To the bleachers you go. 138 00:04:44,530 --> 00:04:45,530 That's it. 139 00:04:49,670 --> 00:04:50,530 Get over it. 140 00:04:50,630 --> 00:04:51,770 It's like a Gutfeld joke. 141 00:04:51,950 --> 00:04:52,950 Kinda rhymed, right? 142 00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:55,761 But, you know, since it's a finale, that means after 143 00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:58,630 tonight, you won't be seeing me here for a while. 144 00:05:00,490 --> 00:05:04,190 Well, not the fake fun version of me that makes you smile. 145 00:05:04,485 --> 00:05:06,645 The real one will still be omnipresent. 146 00:05:06,670 --> 00:05:07,910 You can't escape me, right? 147 00:05:08,010 --> 00:05:09,223 I'm everywhere. 148 00:05:09,445 --> 00:05:10,685 Even in your dreams. 149 00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:13,410 Even in your dreams like the late, great Freddy Krueger. 150 00:05:13,411 --> 00:05:15,150 I almost messed that one up. 151 00:05:15,710 --> 00:05:19,170 So, see you again in the fall, if we still have a country, right? 152 00:05:19,290 --> 00:05:20,290 It's a coin toss. 153 00:05:20,550 --> 00:05:26,410 Happy summer, everyone, and live from New York, it's Saturday Night! 154 00:05:27,693 --> 00:05:29,199 by CharadaBR 155 00:05:31,435 --> 00:05:33,297 It's Saturday Night Live! 156 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:34,813 with... 157 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:42,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 158 00:07:15,679 --> 00:07:16,473 Featuring... 159 00:07:34,416 --> 00:07:37,696 Musical guest, Bad Bunny! 160 00:07:38,962 --> 00:07:41,933 And your host, Scarlett Johansson! 161 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:49,960 Ladies and gentlemen, Scarlett Johansson! 162 00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:11,835 Thank you, thank you guys, thank you very much. 163 00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:16,508 I am so excited to be hosting the finale of season 50. 164 00:08:16,540 --> 00:08:20,640 It has been a historic season. 165 00:08:20,660 --> 00:08:22,260 I'm so proud to be a part of it. 166 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:25,067 You know, I first hosted the show when I was 21 years old, 167 00:08:25,068 --> 00:08:28,600 so it's crazy to be back here, what, like, three years later? 168 00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:30,880 Man, time really flies. 169 00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:34,320 Anyway, it is so great to be back, because as many times as 170 00:08:34,321 --> 00:08:37,500 I have stood on the stage, it never stops feeling special. 171 00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:46,659 It's 11:30 on a Saturday, finale of season 50. 172 00:08:47,281 --> 00:08:51,508 It's chaotic and crazy, the whole week is hazy, 173 00:08:51,767 --> 00:08:54,636 but there's no place that I'd rather be. 174 00:08:54,682 --> 00:08:56,528 Oh. Oh, hey. 175 00:08:57,895 --> 00:08:59,226 Sorry, that was beautiful! 176 00:08:59,250 --> 00:09:00,890 Do you mind if I take the next verse? 177 00:09:01,310 --> 00:09:02,790 Oh, well, it's sort of my monologue. 178 00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:03,910 Of course, no problem. 179 00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:07,470 Sometimes we play likeable characters. 180 00:09:08,290 --> 00:09:11,850 Other times we play J.D. Vance. 181 00:09:12,349 --> 00:09:15,955 It's not always funny, we don't do it for money, 182 00:09:15,980 --> 00:09:19,203 or else Sarah would buy better pants. 183 00:09:20,069 --> 00:09:21,969 Hey, guys, what are you singing about? 184 00:09:22,050 --> 00:09:22,930 Great pants, by the way. 185 00:09:23,070 --> 00:09:24,070 Oh, thank you. 186 00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:27,510 La, la, la, dee dee da. 187 00:09:29,290 --> 00:09:30,350 La, la, 188 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,360 sing us a song tonight. 189 00:09:44,093 --> 00:09:52,330 Cause we've made memories every Saturday night. 190 00:09:52,689 --> 00:09:56,746 Ladies and gentlemen, Billy Joel wrote this song. 191 00:09:56,771 --> 00:09:57,771 Oh. 192 00:09:58,150 --> 00:10:00,770 I thought Billy Joel was gonna come out. 193 00:10:01,150 --> 00:10:03,190 Oh, Mikey, so cute, so simple. 194 00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:07,350 Well, I have to be honest, I love a singing monologue. 195 00:10:07,610 --> 00:10:07,985 Really? 196 00:10:08,010 --> 00:10:10,370 I like the ones where they take questions from the audience. 197 00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:11,590 Oh, well, let's do both then. 198 00:10:12,130 --> 00:10:14,930 Does anyone here have a question? 199 00:10:15,770 --> 00:10:18,950 Yes, over here, I have one or two. 200 00:10:19,670 --> 00:10:23,070 Could you introduce me to a dinosaur? 201 00:10:23,830 --> 00:10:26,750 I'm sorry that I called on you. 202 00:10:27,690 --> 00:10:30,550 It's weird, but this place is kind of like my home. 203 00:10:31,470 --> 00:10:34,330 I've been in over 300 sketches. 204 00:10:35,582 --> 00:10:38,602 And by my count, I've been in four. 205 00:10:39,761 --> 00:10:43,492 It's just our first year, but we're glad to be here. 206 00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:46,376 Let's hear it for Joseph and Beth. 207 00:10:47,507 --> 00:10:48,689 My name isn't Beth. 208 00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:50,381 Haha, classic Beth! 209 00:10:51,199 --> 00:10:54,545 Marcelo and Devin are friends of mine. 210 00:10:55,206 --> 00:10:58,166 Andrew and James, I hold dear. 211 00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:02,795 It's been a great season and Sarah is leaving. 212 00:11:02,820 --> 00:11:06,555 We're all gonna miss you next year. 213 00:11:06,580 --> 00:11:07,415 Wait, what? 214 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,290 Did you guys hear something? 215 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:23,360 Sing us a song, it's your monologue. 216 00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:27,260 The 50th season is through. 217 00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:30,531 It lasted forever. 218 00:11:30,556 --> 00:11:32,555 We did it together. 219 00:11:32,580 --> 00:11:35,280 And we got to spend it with you. 220 00:11:36,656 --> 00:11:38,823 It lasted forever. 221 00:11:38,848 --> 00:11:42,709 We did it together. 222 00:11:42,734 --> 00:11:51,584 And we got to spend it with you. 223 00:11:51,616 --> 00:11:54,100 Stick around, we'll be right back! 224 00:12:10,682 --> 00:12:12,383 It's Channel 4. 225 00:12:12,407 --> 00:12:14,312 Wake up for the news 226 00:12:14,337 --> 00:12:16,859 because you're watching channel 4. 227 00:12:16,884 --> 00:12:21,608 New York City news, because it is Channel 4. 228 00:12:21,633 --> 00:12:23,593 It's Channel 4. 229 00:12:26,783 --> 00:12:28,423 That was our weatherman, Keith. 230 00:12:28,585 --> 00:12:31,505 He said that he wanted a shot to try something new for our intro. 231 00:12:31,530 --> 00:12:33,430 And well, shot taken, Keith. 232 00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:35,950 Swing and a miss, folks. 233 00:12:38,102 --> 00:12:39,474 Good morning, New York. 234 00:12:39,499 --> 00:12:41,545 And thanks, as always, for waking up with us. 235 00:12:41,570 --> 00:12:42,840 I'm Susan McGrath. 236 00:12:42,865 --> 00:12:43,865 I'm Tommy Nolan. 237 00:12:43,890 --> 00:12:46,985 Our usual third wheel, Claire Connors, is out today. 238 00:12:47,236 --> 00:12:51,096 I can't legally say why, but let's just say she gave birth to something. 239 00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:55,993 But filling in for her this morning, we have another member of our 240 00:12:56,065 --> 00:12:59,250 Channel 4 family, Denise Jones from the Nightly News. 241 00:12:59,251 --> 00:13:01,070 So happy you're here joining us, Denise. 242 00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:02,490 Thanks for having me. 243 00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:05,670 All right, let's get to our top stories coming up later this morning. 244 00:13:06,705 --> 00:13:08,305 It's a doggone miracle. 245 00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:11,790 A new layer of AstroTurf has been installed at the Riverside Dog Park. 246 00:13:13,311 --> 00:13:19,026 And later, we tip our cap a Chino to Little Bean Coffee Shop, which donates all 247 00:13:19,051 --> 00:13:21,690 their leftover pastries to a local homeless shelter. 248 00:13:22,350 --> 00:13:25,770 Well, cap a Chino, and it's a doggone miracle. 249 00:13:25,771 --> 00:13:27,110 I love those little puns. 250 00:13:28,014 --> 00:13:31,685 Yeah, they make our morning stories a little extra fun for our early risers. 251 00:13:31,710 --> 00:13:33,045 Well, that's so creative. 252 00:13:33,070 --> 00:13:35,190 I mean, we don't usually do those on the nightly news. 253 00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:36,725 All right. 254 00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,470 Well, you want to take the next one, Denise? 255 00:13:38,810 --> 00:13:39,810 Sure thing. 256 00:13:40,763 --> 00:13:42,394 Next stop, the hospital. 257 00:13:42,419 --> 00:13:44,496 Last night, a woman was assaulted on the train. 258 00:13:45,716 --> 00:13:46,530 Whoa. 259 00:13:47,396 --> 00:13:48,605 I know, I did a pun. 260 00:13:48,630 --> 00:13:49,630 Yay. 261 00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:53,950 Oh, um, well, Denise, I just think that story was a little too intense for that. 262 00:13:54,170 --> 00:13:54,990 Oh, I get it. 263 00:13:55,070 --> 00:13:57,490 You mean, the pun is only okay when it's something like this. 264 00:13:58,270 --> 00:14:02,330 Later, we tip our cappuccino to the woman who was assaulted on the train. 265 00:14:03,963 --> 00:14:05,090 Somehow worse. 266 00:14:06,070 --> 00:14:08,890 You know, why don't we just focus on the lighter stories, okay? 267 00:14:10,291 --> 00:14:11,911 Life is like a box of chocolates. 268 00:14:11,936 --> 00:14:15,636 An Elmhurst candy store celebrates a hundred years in business. 269 00:14:16,946 --> 00:14:19,066 And I'll have what she's having. 270 00:14:19,091 --> 00:14:22,085 A queen's couple dies in an apparent murder-suicide. 271 00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:23,145 No. 272 00:14:23,171 --> 00:14:23,510 No. 273 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:24,750 Wrong again. 274 00:14:24,926 --> 00:14:27,626 Denise, you don't have to do the puns for the sad ones. 275 00:14:27,806 --> 00:14:28,585 Oh, okay. 276 00:14:28,610 --> 00:14:29,145 Got you. 277 00:14:29,170 --> 00:14:29,833 So like this. 278 00:14:30,710 --> 00:14:34,550 Take me to the river, if you want to see the dead body that washed up today. 279 00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:37,247 And coming up later this hour... 280 00:14:37,988 --> 00:14:39,465 Who took his dong out? 281 00:14:39,490 --> 00:14:40,690 An Ohio teacher did. 282 00:14:42,050 --> 00:14:44,405 Denise, no more puns. 283 00:14:44,430 --> 00:14:45,650 Oh, I like doing them. 284 00:14:45,730 --> 00:14:47,050 We don't get to do them at night. 285 00:14:48,230 --> 00:14:50,090 Oh, he ate that woman. 286 00:14:50,450 --> 00:14:53,410 Stay tuned for the latest update on the manhunt for the Englewood Cannibal. 287 00:14:54,430 --> 00:14:55,110 You know what? 288 00:14:55,190 --> 00:14:58,910 Why don't we throw it to weather so we can take a little break from Denise over here. 289 00:14:59,030 --> 00:15:00,030 Keith? 290 00:15:00,412 --> 00:15:01,265 Thanks, Susan. 291 00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:02,670 This week, it's gonna be sunny. 292 00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:04,169 Back to you, Denise. 293 00:15:06,278 --> 00:15:07,278 That was it. 294 00:15:07,303 --> 00:15:08,303 Thanks, Keith. 295 00:15:09,165 --> 00:15:12,070 And in national news, hasta la visa, baby. 296 00:15:12,095 --> 00:15:13,803 Another infant has been deported. 297 00:15:16,804 --> 00:15:19,665 Thankfully, we have a reporter in the field standing by. 298 00:15:19,690 --> 00:15:21,397 Calvin, how's it going out there? 299 00:15:21,625 --> 00:15:25,065 Oh, well, it's a grim scene here at Leventown where I want my baby back, 300 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,090 baby back, baby back. 301 00:15:26,630 --> 00:15:29,730 Says this mother of a girl who was kidnapped from a Chili's. 302 00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:32,703 Calvin, no! 303 00:15:33,890 --> 00:15:34,990 This is serious. 304 00:15:36,189 --> 00:15:37,909 Sorry, I just got inspired by Denise. 305 00:15:38,890 --> 00:15:39,890 Thank you. 306 00:15:40,050 --> 00:15:43,990 It's just so refreshing to finally see a strong, intelligent woman behind a desk. 307 00:15:45,096 --> 00:15:47,096 I've worked here for five years. 308 00:15:48,090 --> 00:15:49,910 Ooh, uh, can I try a pun, too? 309 00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,650 You used to call me on my cell phone. 310 00:15:53,470 --> 00:15:56,490 It's been 12 days since any contact with my daughter. 311 00:15:59,430 --> 00:16:00,092 No! 312 00:16:01,486 --> 00:16:04,423 Well, much like I do every time I make love to my beautiful 313 00:16:04,448 --> 00:16:06,870 wife, I think we have no choice but to finish early. 314 00:16:09,090 --> 00:16:10,210 Sorry, that was weird. 315 00:16:10,410 --> 00:16:11,970 Why don't you take us home there, Keith? 316 00:16:13,850 --> 00:16:15,090 Goodbye for now. 317 00:16:15,810 --> 00:16:17,390 Channel 4 is over. 318 00:16:17,630 --> 00:16:19,590 Yes, the news is done. 319 00:16:19,970 --> 00:16:20,970 Yeah! 320 00:16:31,340 --> 00:16:32,340 Hello! 321 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:33,440 Mom! 322 00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:33,880 Hi. 323 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:35,396 Why do you guys look so down? 324 00:16:35,420 --> 00:16:37,860 You said the season's over and you only did, like, two videos? 325 00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:39,800 Did, like, three, at least. 326 00:16:39,940 --> 00:16:40,460 Doesn't matter. 327 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:42,524 It's just, with everything going on in the news 328 00:16:42,525 --> 00:16:44,320 right now, it's just, things feel kind of bleak. 329 00:16:44,345 --> 00:16:46,815 Yeah, I just feel like the world is falling apart. 330 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,160 Hey, you know what you guys need? 331 00:16:48,615 --> 00:16:49,295 A vacation. 332 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:49,800 Vacation? 333 00:16:50,020 --> 00:16:50,780 We have work. 334 00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:51,900 It'll be expensive. 335 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:52,620 Shh. 336 00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:54,266 Tickets are on me. 337 00:16:54,873 --> 00:16:56,753 You ever flown first class before? 338 00:16:57,866 --> 00:16:59,026 What do you say, boys? 339 00:16:59,546 --> 00:17:00,486 A little vacay? 340 00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:09,920 I've been wanting this my whole life. 341 00:17:10,173 --> 00:17:12,193 First class ticket watch me recline. 342 00:17:12,580 --> 00:17:14,995 Scar Joe got the effin' vibe right. 343 00:17:15,020 --> 00:17:16,680 Whole life feelin' like a highlight. 344 00:17:17,460 --> 00:17:19,580 I style a way got to all of my haters. 345 00:17:19,780 --> 00:17:21,900 Ballin' like Dwayne Wade, I'm one of the greatest. 346 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,460 Flight attendant with a thick ol' thang. 347 00:17:24,620 --> 00:17:26,540 Handin' me drinks like Go-Off Kang. 348 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,760 If you ain't up on thang. 349 00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:31,440 Scar J is the name when you're dealin' with planes. 350 00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:34,040 Now listen up, I'm talkin' to you, jerk. 351 00:17:34,041 --> 00:17:36,400 Fallin' in the sky all the way to Newark. 352 00:17:36,980 --> 00:17:38,080 Did you say Newark? 353 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:39,360 Yeah, what? 354 00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:40,500 What's up? 355 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:42,600 No, it's... 356 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:44,360 We're landing at Newark? 357 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:45,520 Yeah, Newark. 358 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:46,700 In New Jersey. 359 00:17:48,253 --> 00:17:49,733 Damn, it's kinda windy out there, huh? 360 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,100 Didn't we fly out of LaGuardia? 361 00:17:52,559 --> 00:17:53,879 It's like a half-hour drive. 362 00:17:54,020 --> 00:17:55,455 No, but this is awesome. 363 00:17:55,619 --> 00:17:57,559 Come on, I mean, we're in first class, right? 364 00:17:58,515 --> 00:18:01,195 Now I'm up in first class, Sippin' on a spritz fast. 365 00:18:01,220 --> 00:18:03,320 I don't got time, so I'll wear a wristwatch. 366 00:18:03,321 --> 00:18:04,860 Is something going on at Newark? 367 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,560 Like, are there planes crashing there or something? 368 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,220 No, I think they're just, like, losing them? 369 00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:11,380 Losing the planes? 370 00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:12,760 Yeah, like, like, losing track. 371 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:13,400 Yeah, right. 372 00:18:13,540 --> 00:18:16,276 They're losing the planes in Newark, but the crashing 373 00:18:16,277 --> 00:18:18,281 is happening, like, everywhere all the time now. 374 00:18:18,340 --> 00:18:18,940 Oh, yeah. 375 00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:19,480 Right. 376 00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:20,820 Yeah. 377 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:23,720 Are you not nervous? 378 00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:28,141 Bitch, I ain't set an old plane. 379 00:18:28,166 --> 00:18:29,219 I'm chillin' and I'm freaking... 380 00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:34,410 I'm buckle up, didn't like that at all. 381 00:18:34,550 --> 00:18:36,190 Apologies for the turbulence, folks. 382 00:18:36,656 --> 00:18:40,245 But good news, we've been cleared for landing at Newark. 383 00:18:40,270 --> 00:18:41,996 At least I think so. 384 00:18:42,470 --> 00:18:44,050 Haven't heard anything yet. 385 00:18:44,070 --> 00:18:45,070 Oh, no. 386 00:18:45,510 --> 00:18:46,510 Hmm. 387 00:18:46,610 --> 00:18:47,990 That's not good. 388 00:18:49,150 --> 00:18:50,250 Nah, that's scary. 389 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,430 All the TV's just turned off. 390 00:18:52,630 --> 00:18:53,870 Once we land, I should be good. 391 00:18:54,150 --> 00:18:55,426 Once we land, I'll be all right. 392 00:18:55,450 --> 00:18:55,690 Oh! 393 00:18:55,810 --> 00:18:56,970 I'm just gonna meditate, too. 394 00:18:57,150 --> 00:18:58,150 God's got me. 395 00:18:58,570 --> 00:18:59,590 God's always got me. 396 00:18:59,910 --> 00:19:02,265 I can't be alone with the thoughts in my dome. 397 00:19:02,290 --> 00:19:04,350 Mark, do you have any shows in your phone? 398 00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:06,270 The only show I have is Lost. 399 00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,670 I only have the pilot of Lost. 400 00:19:08,990 --> 00:19:10,430 Why would you only have that one? 401 00:19:10,510 --> 00:19:12,330 I didn't know I'd be here today! 402 00:19:13,090 --> 00:19:14,590 Uh, bad news, folks. 403 00:19:14,823 --> 00:19:18,598 We are what we call in the biz, flying blind. 404 00:19:18,630 --> 00:19:19,430 Oh, God! 405 00:19:19,431 --> 00:19:20,630 Okay, be honest. 406 00:19:20,770 --> 00:19:22,426 Do you think we'll make the article at least? 407 00:19:22,450 --> 00:19:22,510 What? 408 00:19:22,670 --> 00:19:24,776 Do you think the article will be like Scarlett 409 00:19:24,777 --> 00:19:27,150 Johansson and Please Don't Destroy, Die in Plane Crash? 410 00:19:27,270 --> 00:19:27,830 Or just you? 411 00:19:27,950 --> 00:19:29,046 What's Please Don't Destroy? 412 00:19:29,070 --> 00:19:30,150 Who did you think we were? 413 00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:35,950 Uh, pardon me, while I give a quick call to our air traffic controller. 414 00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:39,290 Come on, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up. 415 00:19:39,850 --> 00:19:40,850 Hello? 416 00:19:41,130 --> 00:19:41,530 Hi. 417 00:19:42,030 --> 00:19:43,570 Are you having fun up there? 418 00:19:43,910 --> 00:19:45,650 No, I'm not having fun. 419 00:19:45,963 --> 00:19:48,025 Sir, do you have our coordinates? 420 00:19:48,050 --> 00:19:50,173 Uh... I don't know. 421 00:19:50,198 --> 00:19:51,298 It's my first day. 422 00:19:51,323 --> 00:19:51,723 What?! 423 00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:53,947 It's your first day?! 424 00:19:54,091 --> 00:19:55,091 Yeah. 425 00:19:55,803 --> 00:19:58,058 There's... There's, like, no one here. 426 00:19:58,090 --> 00:19:59,685 Oh, fantastic. 427 00:19:59,710 --> 00:20:02,156 Maybe you tell me, like... 428 00:20:02,190 --> 00:20:04,405 What... What color is your... It's your plane? 429 00:20:04,430 --> 00:20:05,545 It's a frickin' plane! 430 00:20:05,570 --> 00:20:07,290 I'm gonna find the emergency exit, and I'm gonna jump. 431 00:20:07,291 --> 00:20:09,110 Do not open the emergency exit! 432 00:20:09,230 --> 00:20:10,270 I've got... I want to! 433 00:20:10,390 --> 00:20:11,030 Oh, God! 434 00:20:11,031 --> 00:20:12,585 That's a new one! 435 00:20:12,610 --> 00:20:14,425 Oh, looks like this is it, guys! 436 00:20:14,450 --> 00:20:16,185 Anything to get off your chest? 437 00:20:16,210 --> 00:20:19,385 This might sound corny, but the only thing I regret is... 438 00:20:20,072 --> 00:20:23,025 Is that Avengers didn't make more money at the box office. 439 00:20:23,050 --> 00:20:23,570 What?! 440 00:20:23,571 --> 00:20:25,130 We are going down! 441 00:20:25,430 --> 00:20:27,690 If anybody can help us, please! 442 00:20:28,417 --> 00:20:29,165 Please! 443 00:20:29,190 --> 00:20:30,910 I can't give up on them. 444 00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:32,230 Yes. 445 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,610 If I just... 446 00:20:35,330 --> 00:20:39,310 Orcate... The coordinates... I'm starting to get my signal back! 447 00:20:39,610 --> 00:20:42,930 And calculate... The wind resistance. 448 00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:44,210 Hey, hang on! 449 00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,010 I see the runway! 450 00:20:45,170 --> 00:20:45,710 I see the runway! 451 00:20:45,910 --> 00:20:47,250 I think I'm doing a good job! 452 00:20:47,450 --> 00:20:48,650 I think I'm saving them! 453 00:20:49,450 --> 00:20:50,270 Oh, my God! 454 00:20:50,271 --> 00:20:50,810 It's working! 455 00:20:51,170 --> 00:20:52,170 It's working! 456 00:20:52,290 --> 00:20:54,230 I can see you now... 457 00:20:54,776 --> 00:20:57,495 You're on the mainframe... 458 00:20:57,541 --> 00:21:02,387 Now glide it, glide it and land this plane. 459 00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:05,750 We did it! 460 00:21:05,970 --> 00:21:06,490 Yes! 461 00:21:06,790 --> 00:21:07,790 I'm so happy! 462 00:21:07,830 --> 00:21:08,110 Yes! 463 00:21:08,111 --> 00:21:09,111 Yes! 464 00:21:09,230 --> 00:21:09,430 Yes! 465 00:21:09,570 --> 00:21:11,910 Now we can finally enjoy our vacation in Newark! 466 00:21:14,449 --> 00:21:15,449 Oh! 467 00:21:15,789 --> 00:21:18,689 You can do anything you put your mind to. 468 00:21:36,188 --> 00:21:37,055 Wow! 469 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,211 I can't believe what was supposed to be a 470 00:21:39,212 --> 00:21:42,621 one-night stand turned into three weeks together. 471 00:21:43,267 --> 00:21:45,967 Yes, I'm also having trouble believing that. 472 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:48,480 So I've been thinking. 473 00:21:48,792 --> 00:21:49,892 My lease is up. 474 00:21:50,066 --> 00:21:51,386 Your lease isn't. 475 00:21:51,645 --> 00:21:54,243 So I could either be homeless, or... 476 00:21:54,460 --> 00:21:56,220 Perhaps there's another arrangement? 477 00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:58,175 Like you... 478 00:21:58,493 --> 00:22:00,113 Get another apartment? 479 00:22:01,534 --> 00:22:02,795 Oh, um... I'm sorry. 480 00:22:02,820 --> 00:22:06,139 This is kind of awkward, but... You're kind of sitting at our table. 481 00:22:06,173 --> 00:22:07,458 Your table? 482 00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:10,452 The bar area is first that got here, first that will be served. 483 00:22:11,073 --> 00:22:12,073 Um... Okay. 484 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,227 Well, we've been coming here every Friday for 485 00:22:14,228 --> 00:22:16,695 the past three weeks, and this is where we sit. 486 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:17,411 Right, baby? 487 00:22:17,436 --> 00:22:18,837 Um... Right. 488 00:22:22,787 --> 00:22:24,421 Baby, they got here first. 489 00:22:24,446 --> 00:22:26,435 Babe, this is our special table. 490 00:22:26,460 --> 00:22:27,518 They need to move. 491 00:22:27,968 --> 00:22:28,968 Okay. 492 00:22:29,153 --> 00:22:30,290 Ay, Dios mio, baby. 493 00:22:30,315 --> 00:22:31,315 Let's just go. 494 00:22:31,340 --> 00:22:33,526 Maybe I go to my apartment, 495 00:22:33,869 --> 00:22:37,339 and you go to any place that's different than that. 496 00:22:38,243 --> 00:22:39,099 No way, no way. 497 00:22:39,124 --> 00:22:42,010 We're not just gonna leave because they told us to. 498 00:22:42,035 --> 00:22:42,755 Say something. 499 00:22:42,780 --> 00:22:44,045 Defend my honor. 500 00:22:44,593 --> 00:22:45,188 Okay. 501 00:22:45,213 --> 00:22:46,033 I got this, baby. 502 00:22:46,058 --> 00:22:46,734 I got this. 503 00:22:46,759 --> 00:22:47,275 Hey! 504 00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:47,934 Hey. 505 00:22:48,615 --> 00:22:52,461 Sorry, my woman is a pain in the ass. 506 00:22:54,354 --> 00:22:55,113 That's right. 507 00:22:55,138 --> 00:22:57,220 He's about to beat your ass. 508 00:22:58,340 --> 00:22:59,520 Well, mine, too... 509 00:23:02,253 --> 00:23:03,438 ...and I am afraid of her. 510 00:23:06,792 --> 00:23:09,907 I know we're not supposed to say women are crazy... 511 00:23:09,932 --> 00:23:14,242 ...but this one... she is crazy! 512 00:23:14,267 --> 00:23:15,188 You hear that? 513 00:23:15,212 --> 00:23:17,135 He's gonna go "loca on you", 514 00:23:18,843 --> 00:23:21,029 How did we let this happen?? 515 00:23:22,831 --> 00:23:26,251 Sometimes instead of my brain... I listen to my penis. 516 00:23:29,870 --> 00:23:31,870 Me too! 517 00:23:33,237 --> 00:23:36,829 Every time I try to end it, I end up naked in her bed. 518 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,153 Ah, that happens to me too. 519 00:23:45,645 --> 00:23:48,105 Oh, so now you're making my man cry. 520 00:23:48,269 --> 00:23:49,499 Let me tell you something. 521 00:23:49,524 --> 00:23:51,303 In a way you can understand. 522 00:23:51,830 --> 00:23:54,356 Big bathroom, shoes! 523 00:23:56,977 --> 00:23:57,751 What? 524 00:23:57,776 --> 00:23:59,377 Mmm, you heard me. 525 00:23:59,402 --> 00:24:00,745 Where are you? 526 00:24:00,770 --> 00:24:02,809 February, giant saturday! 527 00:24:02,834 --> 00:24:07,339 Baby, baby, baby, baby, you... you are not making any sense. 528 00:24:07,370 --> 00:24:10,445 You're not the only one who can speak Spanish, bitch. 529 00:24:10,476 --> 00:24:12,601 I used to work at Chipotle. 530 00:24:13,656 --> 00:24:15,205 Listen to me closely. 531 00:24:15,436 --> 00:24:17,516 And then, tomato, pencil sharpener. 532 00:24:20,230 --> 00:24:22,360 Damn, they're really going at it over there. 533 00:24:22,385 --> 00:24:25,086 Yeah, I feel like I'm watching a telenovela. 534 00:24:25,930 --> 00:24:29,078 Yeah, I hope they do that thing where they slap each other and kiss. 535 00:24:29,110 --> 00:24:29,845 Wait, what? 536 00:24:29,870 --> 00:24:32,210 Yeah, you know, in every novela, there's a slap and kiss. 537 00:24:32,539 --> 00:24:37,873 You see, in their culture, the line between passion and violence is paper thin. 538 00:24:37,898 --> 00:24:39,166 Oh. 539 00:24:39,451 --> 00:24:40,870 Baby, please, come over here. 540 00:24:41,070 --> 00:24:42,010 Do not listen to this woman. 541 00:24:42,030 --> 00:24:43,030 I'm gonna protect you. 542 00:24:43,070 --> 00:24:43,610 Oh, yeah. 543 00:24:43,758 --> 00:24:46,193 You better protect her because I'm about to 544 00:24:46,224 --> 00:24:49,330 Asparagus, nothing more and your ankle? 545 00:24:50,543 --> 00:24:51,438 Baby, baby, baby. 546 00:24:51,470 --> 00:24:53,859 You're talking about asparagus. 547 00:24:54,590 --> 00:24:56,399 Let me handle this, okay? 548 00:24:59,515 --> 00:25:03,218 Why do you think we have so bad luck in love? 549 00:25:04,969 --> 00:25:07,309 Honestly, I think I seek it out. 550 00:25:08,769 --> 00:25:11,584 Because deep down, I want a woman 551 00:25:11,615 --> 00:25:13,709 who is not mentally stable. 552 00:25:15,076 --> 00:25:15,971 Yeah! 553 00:25:16,136 --> 00:25:17,829 Nipple crazy cafeteria! 554 00:25:20,329 --> 00:25:21,589 Te entiendo, brother. 555 00:25:21,883 --> 00:25:24,763 I know. Once they go to therapy It ain't the same. 556 00:25:25,235 --> 00:25:29,432 Crazy women have the best cat. 557 00:25:30,685 --> 00:25:32,925 Pero los locos somos nosotros. 558 00:25:32,950 --> 00:25:33,950 Esa es verdad! 559 00:25:34,610 --> 00:25:35,345 I'm sorry. 560 00:25:35,370 --> 00:25:36,190 Why are you two laughing? 561 00:25:36,215 --> 00:25:37,250 What did you just say? 562 00:25:37,576 --> 00:25:43,881 Uh, I said that there's no reason to fight. 563 00:25:43,906 --> 00:25:47,525 And they make a great couple. 564 00:25:47,629 --> 00:25:50,869 And he never... He should never let her go. 565 00:25:52,137 --> 00:25:52,859 Oh! 566 00:25:58,100 --> 00:25:59,100 That's sweet! 567 00:25:59,759 --> 00:26:03,988 Baby, let's get out of here and go back to your place. 568 00:26:04,013 --> 00:26:05,970 Because tonight, I'm gonna give you... 569 00:26:05,991 --> 00:26:09,437 Oranges, boobs, soup made from cow feet. 570 00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:11,720 Okay, baby, let's go. 571 00:26:12,589 --> 00:26:15,478 Okay, well, maybe we can learn a little something from them. 572 00:26:15,503 --> 00:26:15,822 Yeah. 573 00:26:15,854 --> 00:26:17,119 So tonight, I'm gonna give you... 574 00:26:17,144 --> 00:26:21,089 Stapler, boobs, and ugly pigeon. 575 00:26:22,862 --> 00:26:24,742 You had me, uh... tetas. 576 00:26:27,437 --> 00:26:28,497 Wow! 577 00:26:30,353 --> 00:26:31,424 Would you look at that? 578 00:26:32,226 --> 00:26:33,786 It's like they always say... 579 00:26:34,293 --> 00:26:36,647 Love... though it hurts, it is beautiful. 580 00:26:46,197 --> 00:26:49,215 So, I just found out there's a second Kansas City. 581 00:26:49,253 --> 00:26:52,075 Hey, uh, you guys know I love Colin, right? 582 00:26:52,106 --> 00:26:54,435 Of course, he's your boo thing for life. 583 00:26:54,460 --> 00:26:57,295 Yeah, and we're, like, totally happy. 584 00:26:57,319 --> 00:27:00,579 But, like, it's normal to have little crushes here and there. 585 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:04,036 Especially on someone from the cast. 586 00:27:04,061 --> 00:27:04,878 Who is it? 587 00:27:04,903 --> 00:27:06,295 Creepy, creepy longfellow? 588 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:07,320 No. 589 00:27:08,540 --> 00:27:09,552 It's Bowen. 590 00:27:11,952 --> 00:27:13,848 He's just so sweet. 591 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,020 And, I mean, nothing's obviously gonna happen. 592 00:27:16,060 --> 00:27:16,760 I'm married. 593 00:27:16,761 --> 00:27:17,975 He's gay. 594 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,415 Um, yeah, no. 595 00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:21,115 Bowen is not gay. 596 00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:23,495 Bowen is straight as hell. 597 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,195 Bowen! Bowen! Bowen! 598 00:27:26,220 --> 00:27:30,214 Oh, really? But at the 50th, I saw him sobbing over Cher. 599 00:27:30,235 --> 00:27:31,407 It's all fake, girl. 600 00:27:31,432 --> 00:27:33,571 He just styles up the gay for clout. 601 00:27:33,596 --> 00:27:34,780 Trust me. 602 00:27:34,805 --> 00:27:36,455 That man's a pee hound. 603 00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,070 Through and through. 604 00:27:38,095 --> 00:27:38,455 More. 605 00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:39,175 I got more. 606 00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:40,742 That is so... 607 00:27:41,026 --> 00:27:42,001 Seriously? 608 00:27:42,527 --> 00:27:43,527 Hello, hello? 609 00:27:52,746 --> 00:27:54,695 Hey! I've missed you. 610 00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:56,655 Of course he's with Gina Gershon. 611 00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:58,228 Oh, I just had to see you. 612 00:27:58,253 --> 00:27:58,874 Mm. 613 00:27:58,900 --> 00:27:59,655 Slower. 614 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:00,680 Okay. 615 00:28:01,835 --> 00:28:03,755 So, how's the week been going? 616 00:28:03,780 --> 00:28:05,455 You getting along with the cast? 617 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:06,715 Yeah, fine. 618 00:28:06,740 --> 00:28:07,095 Why? 619 00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:08,120 You heard something? 620 00:28:09,786 --> 00:28:10,954 Bowen, hi. 621 00:28:10,979 --> 00:28:12,155 What's up, Colin? 622 00:28:12,180 --> 00:28:13,395 Hey, good work this season. 623 00:28:13,420 --> 00:28:14,135 Keep it up. 624 00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:15,375 Excited to watch you grow. 625 00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:16,575 Thanks, man. 626 00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:17,600 Do you mind, uh... 627 00:28:18,823 --> 00:28:19,555 Leaving? 628 00:28:19,580 --> 00:28:20,235 Yeah. 629 00:28:20,260 --> 00:28:21,195 Yeah, no problem. 630 00:28:21,220 --> 00:28:22,816 I... I'll just take the stairs. 631 00:28:23,346 --> 00:28:24,733 It's only 30 flights. 632 00:28:27,066 --> 00:28:28,982 Scarlet, Scarlet. 633 00:28:29,014 --> 00:28:31,655 My Jurassic... Harlot. 634 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:32,509 Bowen! 635 00:28:33,282 --> 00:28:34,663 You shouldn't be talking to me that way. 636 00:28:34,695 --> 00:28:36,001 I'm married. 637 00:28:36,026 --> 00:28:38,046 Probably shouldn't be doing a lot of things. 638 00:28:40,500 --> 00:28:41,415 That's better. 639 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:44,695 Watch it, Mr. Mudang. 640 00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:48,680 Listen, uh... You know, Colin's my SNL brother, and... 641 00:28:48,681 --> 00:28:50,813 I would never do anything to hurt him, but... 642 00:28:51,745 --> 00:28:53,286 I would fuck his wife. 643 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,100 There is something I wanted to ask you. 644 00:28:57,612 --> 00:28:58,132 What? 645 00:28:58,380 --> 00:29:00,199 I guess I was wondering... 646 00:29:00,853 --> 00:29:02,413 what that Yang do. 647 00:29:08,788 --> 00:29:10,150 Oh, Scarlet. 648 00:29:10,175 --> 00:29:11,236 Wait, wait. 649 00:29:11,261 --> 00:29:12,283 Do we need protection? 650 00:29:12,308 --> 00:29:12,828 No. 651 00:29:12,853 --> 00:29:13,621 It's fine. 652 00:29:13,646 --> 00:29:14,317 I can bottom. 653 00:29:16,580 --> 00:29:18,417 Oh, Scarlet! 654 00:29:19,140 --> 00:29:20,140 Oh! 655 00:29:20,380 --> 00:29:21,380 Oh! 656 00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:25,301 I need to see you again... tonight. 657 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:26,800 I'll cook for you. 658 00:29:26,940 --> 00:29:27,960 You wanna come by mine? 659 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:28,740 You like ceviche? 660 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:30,080 Yeah. 661 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:32,041 Yeah, come by at like... 2 a.m. 662 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:32,600 Okay. 663 00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:33,680 Oh, now... 664 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:34,920 wear something pretty, okay? 665 00:29:44,060 --> 00:29:45,060 Hi. 666 00:29:45,926 --> 00:29:46,635 Hey. 667 00:29:46,853 --> 00:29:48,471 Wait, were we not hanging out tonight? 668 00:29:49,219 --> 00:29:49,694 Right. 669 00:29:49,719 --> 00:29:50,315 Shoot. 670 00:29:50,340 --> 00:29:51,360 Uh, come on in. 671 00:29:53,099 --> 00:29:54,734 Oh, nice place. 672 00:29:54,973 --> 00:29:56,761 So, are we cooking? 673 00:29:56,793 --> 00:29:58,124 Uh... Oh, yeah. 674 00:29:58,149 --> 00:30:00,571 I think there's some tendies in the air fryer. 675 00:30:01,847 --> 00:30:02,735 My king. 676 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,517 Good scene at rehearsal. 677 00:30:07,226 --> 00:30:08,486 You slept with Ego? 678 00:30:08,580 --> 00:30:09,660 What do you want me to say? 679 00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:10,660 Uh, I don't know. 680 00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:11,760 That we had a connection. 681 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:13,020 Oh, so now we're dating? 682 00:30:13,180 --> 00:30:15,420 I just found out who you were this morning. 683 00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,280 Oh, so I meant nothing to you! 684 00:30:17,380 --> 00:30:18,760 God, you're suffocating me! 685 00:30:20,260 --> 00:30:20,660 Bowen! 686 00:30:20,661 --> 00:30:21,300 Screw it. 687 00:30:21,500 --> 00:30:22,500 I'm going to Tokyo. 688 00:30:23,347 --> 00:30:25,267 Thanks for inventing AI, by the way. 689 00:30:29,495 --> 00:30:30,495 Hey, mama. 690 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:31,520 Hey. 691 00:30:31,860 --> 00:30:32,560 You too. 692 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:36,040 If you keep asking yourself why, you'll drive yourself crazy. 693 00:30:36,300 --> 00:30:37,640 I got gaslit by Bowen. 694 00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:38,840 Bowen! 695 00:30:40,841 --> 00:30:43,300 Domo arigato, Ratajkowski-san. 696 00:30:43,500 --> 00:30:44,660 Let's go to Disneyland Tokyo. 697 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:46,440 Is that Emily Ratajkowski? 698 00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:47,020 Hurry up! 699 00:30:47,220 --> 00:30:47,520 Okay! 700 00:30:47,946 --> 00:30:48,946 Listen learned. 701 00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,160 Never get your back blown out by a gay guy. 702 00:30:51,161 --> 00:30:52,280 Amen, sister. 703 00:30:54,079 --> 00:30:57,345 Bowen's Still Straight 704 00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:10,660 Hi. 705 00:31:10,980 --> 00:31:13,060 Um, can you press 147, please? 706 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:14,440 Uh, sure. 707 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:15,960 Thank you. 708 00:31:16,180 --> 00:31:16,640 God. 709 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:18,700 Oh, you're Mike Myers. 710 00:31:18,860 --> 00:31:19,460 I am, yes. 711 00:31:19,620 --> 00:31:19,860 Thank you. 712 00:31:20,060 --> 00:31:21,060 Yes. 713 00:31:24,420 --> 00:31:25,760 Damn, this is my stop. 714 00:31:26,140 --> 00:31:27,156 Uh, good to meet you, though. 715 00:31:27,180 --> 00:31:27,560 Oh, look. 716 00:31:27,660 --> 00:31:28,240 Nice to meet you. 717 00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:29,360 Nice to meet you. 718 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:30,040 Hi. 719 00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:31,500 Sorry to bother you. 720 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:32,460 I just have to say this. 721 00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:34,400 I'm a huge fan of yours, Mr. Myers. 722 00:31:34,700 --> 00:31:35,540 Oh, thank you. 723 00:31:35,580 --> 00:31:36,340 That's very, very kind. 724 00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:36,820 Thank you. 725 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:37,680 And what's your name? 726 00:31:37,681 --> 00:31:39,080 Uh, I'm Janice. 727 00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:40,640 And I just love all your movies. 728 00:31:40,820 --> 00:31:43,420 My girlfriends and I quote Shrek, like, all the time. 729 00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:44,340 Oh, thank you. 730 00:31:44,380 --> 00:31:45,120 That's a little weird. 731 00:31:45,300 --> 00:31:46,300 But, uh, thank you. 732 00:31:46,380 --> 00:31:46,840 Thank you. 733 00:31:46,940 --> 00:31:47,360 That's very nice. 734 00:31:47,361 --> 00:31:48,900 It's-it's my first time in New York. 735 00:31:48,901 --> 00:31:51,341 You just never know what celebrity you're gonna run into here. 736 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:52,480 That's true. 737 00:31:53,020 --> 00:31:53,700 Oh, my God. 738 00:31:53,820 --> 00:31:54,880 Is that Kanye West? 739 00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:57,800 Yeah, what you talking about? 740 00:31:58,020 --> 00:31:59,700 Spotify removed my song, fam. 741 00:32:00,220 --> 00:32:01,720 Come on, give me one good reason. 742 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:03,640 Besides that. 743 00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:05,520 Besides that. 744 00:32:06,540 --> 00:32:07,880 How is it not relatable? 745 00:32:08,100 --> 00:32:09,200 Everybody got a cousin. 746 00:32:10,700 --> 00:32:12,400 Oh, I guess it's my stop. 747 00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,200 Again, so nice to meet you, Mr. Myers. 748 00:32:14,340 --> 00:32:15,060 No, no, it's not. 749 00:32:15,180 --> 00:32:15,860 It's just not your stop. 750 00:32:16,060 --> 00:32:16,620 What are you doing? 751 00:32:16,621 --> 00:32:18,800 You can't leave me alone in here with him. 752 00:32:18,900 --> 00:32:19,460 It's fine. 753 00:32:19,580 --> 00:32:20,580 I heard he's a delight. 754 00:32:22,900 --> 00:32:23,900 Oh, hey. 755 00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:25,900 You Mike Myers, right? 756 00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:27,040 Kanye. 757 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:28,100 What's up, man? 758 00:32:28,380 --> 00:32:29,560 It's just ye now. 759 00:32:29,900 --> 00:32:30,580 Sorry, ye. 760 00:32:30,780 --> 00:32:32,320 I'm-I guess it's been a while. 761 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:34,740 Yeah, since that Hurricane Katrina benefit. 762 00:32:35,860 --> 00:32:36,300 Yes. 763 00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:38,345 You know, when I told the world that George 764 00:32:38,346 --> 00:32:40,961 Bush don't care about black people on live TV. 765 00:32:41,420 --> 00:32:41,860 Yes. 766 00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:43,960 And you just had to stand there looking stupid. 767 00:32:45,340 --> 00:32:45,780 Yes. 768 00:32:46,260 --> 00:32:48,720 So, uh, uh, what have you been up to? 769 00:32:49,060 --> 00:32:49,540 Oh, me? 770 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:51,380 I'm in the KKK now. 771 00:32:52,780 --> 00:32:53,880 Of course you are. 772 00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:55,040 Yes, yes. 773 00:32:55,140 --> 00:32:56,140 How's your kids? 774 00:32:56,220 --> 00:32:56,660 My kids? 775 00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:57,800 My kids are safe. 776 00:32:59,040 --> 00:32:59,700 That's good. 777 00:32:59,980 --> 00:33:01,720 Family stability is important. 778 00:33:02,140 --> 00:33:02,800 Isn't it, though? 779 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:03,960 Yes. 780 00:33:04,300 --> 00:33:04,740 Yeah. 781 00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:06,280 This Diddy stuff is crazy, right? 782 00:33:06,860 --> 00:33:07,300 What? 783 00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:08,320 Diddy. 784 00:33:08,456 --> 00:33:10,975 He's on trial right now for, like, a bunch of stuff. 785 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:11,620 Oh, yeah, yeah. 786 00:33:11,706 --> 00:33:12,769 I-I heard about that. 787 00:33:12,794 --> 00:33:13,120 Yeah. 788 00:33:13,140 --> 00:33:14,560 Yeah, it's so crazy, man. 789 00:33:14,860 --> 00:33:18,580 You think you know a guy turns out to be a full crazy monster man. 790 00:33:19,100 --> 00:33:19,800 Yeah, right. 791 00:33:19,801 --> 00:33:21,000 So, what happened to you? 792 00:33:21,340 --> 00:33:22,340 What do you mean? 793 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:24,200 Nothing. 794 00:33:24,380 --> 00:33:25,380 Not one thing. 795 00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:30,380 Oh, let's wait for the next one. 796 00:33:30,500 --> 00:33:31,020 Yeah, yeah. 797 00:33:31,180 --> 00:33:31,920 No, come back! 798 00:33:32,060 --> 00:33:33,176 There's plenty of room in here. 799 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:34,800 There's plenty of room in this elevator. 800 00:33:36,540 --> 00:33:39,720 So, Myers, that Jewish? 801 00:33:40,020 --> 00:33:41,160 Protestant, actually. 802 00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:42,040 Protestant, yeah. 803 00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:42,600 Nice. 804 00:33:42,940 --> 00:33:43,160 Yeah. 805 00:33:43,580 --> 00:33:44,060 Hey, you know what? 806 00:33:44,061 --> 00:33:45,381 We should take a selfie together. 807 00:33:45,420 --> 00:33:45,700 Come on. 808 00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:46,840 Hold on. 809 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:47,880 Got that. 810 00:33:48,980 --> 00:33:51,240 The elevators are so slow sometimes. 811 00:33:51,580 --> 00:33:52,260 What was that? 812 00:33:52,540 --> 00:33:54,240 You must have hit stop or something. 813 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:55,980 I think we're stuck, man. 814 00:33:56,100 --> 00:33:57,560 We're gonna be here for a while now. 815 00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:58,355 Oh, no. 816 00:33:58,380 --> 00:34:00,840 Should we, uh, jump up and down until something happens? 817 00:34:01,140 --> 00:34:01,740 Nah, man. 818 00:34:01,940 --> 00:34:03,680 I don't like doing crazy stuff. 819 00:34:05,060 --> 00:34:06,260 You don't understand. 820 00:34:06,460 --> 00:34:07,780 I get really claustrophobic. 821 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:09,240 Oh, trust me. 822 00:34:09,380 --> 00:34:09,960 I understand. 823 00:34:10,300 --> 00:34:11,760 I'm a few phobics myself. 824 00:34:12,260 --> 00:34:13,260 Yeah. 825 00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:15,760 But right now, we just need to relax. 826 00:34:17,700 --> 00:34:18,740 You want some knots? 827 00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:20,040 No. 828 00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:20,680 I'm good. 829 00:34:20,820 --> 00:34:22,120 I just gotta get out of here. 830 00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:23,521 I gotta get... Calm down, Mike. 831 00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:24,960 You sound like a lunatic. 832 00:34:25,460 --> 00:34:27,400 Why don't I play you my next single, man? 833 00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:28,600 It's a love song. 834 00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:29,200 Okay. 835 00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:32,060 Yeah, it's called Squeezing on my grandpa's booty. 836 00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:34,920 Wait. 837 00:34:35,060 --> 00:34:35,640 We're moving again. 838 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:36,200 Okay. 839 00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:36,960 Thank you, God. 840 00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:38,160 You're welcome. 841 00:34:38,700 --> 00:34:39,460 This is me. 842 00:34:39,720 --> 00:34:40,760 Take care of yourself, ye. 843 00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:42,320 Yeah, you too, Shrek. 844 00:34:45,410 --> 00:34:46,908 You think you know a guy... 845 00:35:10,140 --> 00:35:11,980 Ladies and gentlemen, Bad Bunny. 846 00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:54,960 It's Weekend Update with Colin Jost and Michael Che. 847 00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:10,400 Thank you. 848 00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:11,480 Good evening, everyone. 849 00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:12,320 Welcome to Weekend Update. 850 00:38:12,420 --> 00:38:13,000 I'm Michael Che. 851 00:38:13,260 --> 00:38:14,260 I'm Colin Jost. 852 00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:20,020 Well, President Trump traveled to the Middle East this week, and if I were him, 853 00:38:20,100 --> 00:38:22,340 I would have just stayed there because it looked awesome. 854 00:38:22,900 --> 00:38:26,380 Trump arrived in Saudi Arabia, where he was greeted with a lavender 855 00:38:26,381 --> 00:38:30,500 carpet, which matched the color of his tie, and also the length. 856 00:38:32,500 --> 00:38:36,680 They also rolled out a mobile McDonald's truck for President Trump's visit, 857 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:41,020 featuring Saudi Arabia's most popular new burger, the McJournalist. 858 00:38:44,740 --> 00:38:49,260 President Trump, while on his trip, said that Iran has sort of agreed to terms 859 00:38:49,261 --> 00:38:51,456 for a nuclear deal, in the same way Trump has 860 00:38:51,457 --> 00:38:54,001 sort of agreed to uphold the Constitution. 861 00:38:54,580 --> 00:38:58,600 Many people in Saudi Arabia were very happy with President Trump's visit to the 862 00:38:58,601 --> 00:39:02,180 country, because rich Saudis love to fly out thick blondes. 863 00:39:05,860 --> 00:39:09,320 The Democratic National Committee protested President Trump's plans to 864 00:39:09,321 --> 00:39:12,566 accept a $400 million luxury jet from Qatar by 865 00:39:12,567 --> 00:39:16,500 flying a banner over Mar-a-Lago reading Qatar-a-Lago. 866 00:39:16,501 --> 00:39:19,427 It's the kind of hilarious stunt that makes you 867 00:39:19,428 --> 00:39:22,301 realize why the Democrats will never win again. 868 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:27,276 Ethical experts are also warning that Trump may owe 869 00:39:27,277 --> 00:39:30,440 political favors to countries who give him lavish gifts. 870 00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:32,876 But based on the way he left the Middle East, 871 00:39:32,877 --> 00:39:35,501 I think I know how Trump is gonna pay them back. 872 00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:46,639 President Trump has signed an executive order giving 873 00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:49,260 refugee status to white people from South Africa. 874 00:39:49,580 --> 00:39:49,960 Huh. 875 00:39:50,180 --> 00:39:53,400 You know, I could have sworn that white people had it good in South Africa. 876 00:39:53,620 --> 00:39:55,100 Must be the Mandela Effect. 877 00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:02,920 The Trump administration announced that after face-to-face talks with China, 878 00:40:02,921 --> 00:40:07,740 it is lowering tariffs from 145% to 30%, which is a little like O.J. 879 00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:09,400 bragging about taking the knife out. 880 00:40:14,790 --> 00:40:19,970 Robert F. Kennedy Jr., whose shirt collar traps all the blood in his head, 881 00:40:21,628 --> 00:40:23,879 was criticized for posting pictures of 882 00:40:23,891 --> 00:40:26,503 himself swimming in a Washington, D.C. creek, 883 00:40:26,535 --> 00:40:30,855 despite signs warning it was contaminated with raw sewage. 884 00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,728 Ugh, can you imagine how many parasites are in there? 885 00:40:33,753 --> 00:40:34,506 Said the creek. 886 00:40:36,940 --> 00:40:41,668 The Department of Homeland Security said they may participate in a new reality show 887 00:40:41,693 --> 00:40:43,708 in which immigrants would go through a series 888 00:40:43,733 --> 00:40:45,935 of challenges for a chance to become a citizen. 889 00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,839 It's called The Real Housekeepers of Orange County. 890 00:40:54,240 --> 00:40:56,060 Oh, according to a... 891 00:40:57,540 --> 00:41:01,360 According to a new tell-all book, Biden's inner circle revealed that they 892 00:41:01,361 --> 00:41:05,020 were worried the president would need a wheelchair in his second term, 893 00:41:05,060 --> 00:41:08,120 especially after they were all done stabbing him in the back. 894 00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,040 The White House also announced that Vice President J.D. 895 00:41:14,180 --> 00:41:18,540 Vance will travel to the Vatican for Pope Leo's inaugural mass. 896 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:21,260 And I'm not a huge fan of his outfit. 897 00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:27,388 Train engineers went on strike yesterday, completely 898 00:41:27,413 --> 00:41:29,908 shutting down New Jersey transit lines into New York, 899 00:41:29,932 --> 00:41:32,970 in case you were wondering why the city smelled so nice. 900 00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:43,840 In what counts as good news, in 2025, the Menendez brothers have been 901 00:41:43,841 --> 00:41:48,580 re-sentenced to the 1989 murder of their parents after the judge said he did not 902 00:41:48,581 --> 00:41:53,260 believe the brothers posed a risk if released unless someone adopts them. 903 00:41:53,261 --> 00:41:54,261 Oh. 904 00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:55,940 No, that's a good point. 905 00:41:57,100 --> 00:41:58,280 Some of them are just points. 906 00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:00,160 Not jokes. 907 00:42:00,260 --> 00:42:03,640 After several troubling incidents at Newark Liberty International Airport, 908 00:42:03,900 --> 00:42:06,324 many people are worried about airplane safety, but 909 00:42:06,325 --> 00:42:09,460 one person is more worried about airplane food. 910 00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:15,281 Here to comment, you know her, you love her, you got her fined by the FCC. 911 00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:17,220 Show some love for Miss Eggie. 912 00:42:24,210 --> 00:42:24,730 What? 913 00:42:24,830 --> 00:42:26,430 How we doing, Jet Blue? 914 00:42:29,150 --> 00:42:30,850 I'm sorry, Ego, what is this? 915 00:42:31,010 --> 00:42:32,410 Damn, this place stink. 916 00:42:33,110 --> 00:42:35,210 And I ain't even served the food yet. 917 00:42:35,750 --> 00:42:40,230 Blind attendant came around asking me if I want some butternut squash ravioli. 918 00:42:40,430 --> 00:42:44,150 More like, butternut offer me that mess till you put some meat in it. 919 00:42:45,010 --> 00:42:46,490 Squash that, sucker. 920 00:42:47,830 --> 00:42:50,990 Can't even give me a whole can of soda, stingy ass. 921 00:42:51,270 --> 00:42:53,990 But wanna hand me a dry-ass Biscoff. 922 00:42:54,190 --> 00:42:56,350 More like, you got to piss a Biscoff. 923 00:42:57,110 --> 00:42:58,110 What the hell? 924 00:42:59,210 --> 00:43:01,790 I'm sorry, is all of your stand-up about food? 925 00:43:01,950 --> 00:43:03,310 Good God damn! 926 00:43:03,850 --> 00:43:05,010 I am starving. 927 00:43:05,550 --> 00:43:07,694 Flight attendants saying the only sandwich they 928 00:43:07,695 --> 00:43:10,551 got on this plane is a turkey pesto on ciabatta. 929 00:43:10,730 --> 00:43:13,470 All I know is this bitch ciabatta lose her life. 930 00:43:14,410 --> 00:43:15,410 Shoot. 931 00:43:15,970 --> 00:43:18,570 That bread was harder than my man when I get out the tub. 932 00:43:18,770 --> 00:43:19,770 Okay. 933 00:43:19,910 --> 00:43:20,490 Uh-huh. 934 00:43:20,491 --> 00:43:22,902 His name's Maurice, but I call him Trey, cuz 935 00:43:22,903 --> 00:43:26,011 he stay in the upright and locked position. 936 00:43:27,310 --> 00:43:28,850 Cuz Ms. Eggie done what? 937 00:43:32,240 --> 00:43:32,540 Yeah. 938 00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:34,796 I'm sorry, I really don't think this is helpful. 939 00:43:34,820 --> 00:43:36,740 Colin, please, I'm eating. 940 00:43:37,900 --> 00:43:42,360 Then she asking, do I want some apple cranberry compote? 941 00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:45,820 Uh, I'ma need a compote to Google what the hell that is. 942 00:43:50,650 --> 00:43:55,510 And y'all went and took peanuts off the plane, cuz everybody wanna have an allergy. 943 00:43:55,750 --> 00:43:58,590 If you don't take a Benadryl and shut your gay ass up... 944 00:44:01,970 --> 00:44:05,030 Ego, this Newark story is serious. 945 00:44:05,310 --> 00:44:07,130 And how about that TSA, huh? 946 00:44:07,850 --> 00:44:12,571 Putting on them Papa Smurf gloves, thinking they can fill me up just cuz I got a gun. 947 00:44:14,730 --> 00:44:16,450 Cuz Ms. Eggie stay what? 948 00:44:16,451 --> 00:44:16,530 What? 949 00:44:17,430 --> 00:44:20,010 That's right, no strap, y'all. 950 00:44:21,050 --> 00:44:24,050 You were supposed to be talking about Newark Airport. 951 00:44:24,190 --> 00:44:25,670 Colin, I literally am. 952 00:44:26,410 --> 00:44:27,410 Listen here. 953 00:44:29,430 --> 00:44:31,030 Menopause been making me horny. 954 00:44:31,310 --> 00:44:31,870 Menopause? 955 00:44:32,110 --> 00:44:33,110 What? 956 00:44:34,550 --> 00:44:37,549 And let's just say, Ms. Eggie don't need no hollandaise 957 00:44:37,550 --> 00:44:40,210 sauce, cuz I already know how to benedict, okay? 958 00:44:41,430 --> 00:44:42,430 Okay, all right. 959 00:44:43,350 --> 00:44:44,770 Okay, Ego. 960 00:44:46,450 --> 00:44:49,430 Please, Ego, wrap this up, please, wrap this up. 961 00:44:49,850 --> 00:44:53,490 In conclusion, thank you, Jet Blue, for having a bitch. 962 00:44:54,510 --> 00:44:58,250 And if we hit turbulence, Colin, just take a Benadryl and what? 963 00:44:58,650 --> 00:45:00,150 Shut your gay ass up. 964 00:45:03,370 --> 00:45:04,670 Enjoy the flight. 965 00:45:04,910 --> 00:45:05,910 Ms. Eggie, everyone. 966 00:45:06,010 --> 00:45:07,590 Cuz these men ain't worth a day. 967 00:45:16,260 --> 00:45:19,753 New research shows that too much sitting could damage your 968 00:45:19,754 --> 00:45:23,340 brain, which explains why Stephen Hawking was such a dumbass. 969 00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:32,760 Dick's Sporting Goods announced that it is buying Foot Locker for more than two 970 00:45:32,761 --> 00:45:36,400 billion dollars and will combine to form Dick Fockers. 971 00:45:39,140 --> 00:45:43,900 A new survey found that the worst litterers in New York City are men from 972 00:45:43,901 --> 00:45:46,294 the Bronx and Queens, while women from the Bronx 973 00:45:46,295 --> 00:45:48,941 and Queens safely keep all their junk in the trunk. 974 00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:59,560 A driver for Amazon was fired after she was caught on a Ring camera defecating on 975 00:45:59,561 --> 00:46:02,780 a porch, said the homeowner, but that's what I ordered. 976 00:46:05,240 --> 00:46:09,260 A new study suggests that people who feel tired all the time could have suffered a 977 00:46:09,261 --> 00:46:14,060 mini-stroke, which makes sense because I always get sleepy after a stroke, you know? 978 00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:19,450 I feel like all my jokes take time. 979 00:46:21,870 --> 00:46:23,870 It was a heartwarming one to end on. 980 00:46:24,030 --> 00:46:28,190 You know, tonight is our season finale, and we, uh, I'm not sure. 981 00:46:29,070 --> 00:46:31,030 Your last joke took my breath away. 982 00:46:31,710 --> 00:46:34,356 Uh, we have a tradition here, uh, where Che and I give 983 00:46:34,357 --> 00:46:36,451 each other jokes to read at the end of the season. 984 00:46:39,470 --> 00:46:42,033 We're making each other read jokes live on air 985 00:46:42,034 --> 00:46:45,431 that the other person has never seen before. 986 00:46:45,610 --> 00:46:50,869 But before we start, it's SNL's 50th season, so I want to 987 00:46:50,870 --> 00:46:54,830 take a moment to say something to our boss, Lorne Michaels. 988 00:46:56,451 --> 00:46:58,430 Lorne, retire, bitch! 989 00:47:01,250 --> 00:47:03,070 Let me run the show. 990 00:47:04,670 --> 00:47:06,570 Wow. Out the gate, Colin. 991 00:47:06,730 --> 00:47:09,030 Well, maybe you should just tell your first joke. 992 00:47:09,130 --> 00:47:09,630 How about that? 993 00:47:09,790 --> 00:47:11,110 Oh, I get to do another. 994 00:47:11,290 --> 00:47:12,730 Yeah, yeah, tell a joke, man. 995 00:47:13,850 --> 00:47:16,819 CBS has premiered the first hour-long daytime 996 00:47:16,820 --> 00:47:20,350 soap opera with a predominantly Black cast. 997 00:47:20,650 --> 00:47:25,510 It'll air when Black people are home from work 24 hours a day. 998 00:47:32,900 --> 00:47:36,740 Since you liked that, here's another. 999 00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:41,337 CBS has premiered the first half-hour-long daytime 1000 00:47:41,338 --> 00:47:44,760 soap opera with a predominantly Black cast. 1001 00:47:44,761 --> 00:47:49,080 It's called, All My Children Don't Know Who Their Daddy is. 1002 00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:57,940 Movie theaters are trying to stop teenagers from screaming and throwing 1003 00:47:57,941 --> 00:48:01,313 popcorn during the Minecraft scene with the chicken 1004 00:48:01,314 --> 00:48:04,740 jockey, because some of us are trying to masturbate. 1005 00:48:06,240 --> 00:48:09,040 But seriously, Minecraft was a great movie. 1006 00:48:09,041 --> 00:48:14,340 I haven't been that excited since I saw a white woman drink unattended. 1007 00:48:20,033 --> 00:48:22,233 That must have been so exciting for you. 1008 00:48:28,470 --> 00:48:29,490 It could be anything. 1009 00:48:31,910 --> 00:48:35,823 A new study finds that the hoots and grunts of bonobos 1010 00:48:35,824 --> 00:48:39,550 show signs of complex thoughts similar to human language. 1011 00:48:40,269 --> 00:48:43,089 Oh, so like that awful halftime show? 1012 00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:53,655 You know, before I tell another joke, I want to take 1013 00:48:53,656 --> 00:48:56,080 this opportunity to apologize to someone I hurt. 1014 00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:58,120 Scarlett, can you come out here? 1015 00:49:04,210 --> 00:49:05,270 I don't like this. 1016 00:49:05,390 --> 00:49:08,750 You know, last time we did Joke Swap, I made Colin do some tasteless jokes. 1017 00:49:09,310 --> 00:49:12,310 Comparing your vagina to Costco roast beef. 1018 00:49:13,610 --> 00:49:14,910 Yes, I remember that. 1019 00:49:16,016 --> 00:49:19,436 Well, the fact is, I was just lashing out because I'm jealous. 1020 00:49:20,230 --> 00:49:22,530 I've never even seen a human vagina. 1021 00:49:24,770 --> 00:49:26,530 And notice I said human. 1022 00:49:27,930 --> 00:49:30,550 Because I once spent the summer on a farm. 1023 00:49:31,410 --> 00:49:32,410 You feel me? 1024 00:49:34,990 --> 00:49:37,350 Maybe I'm just embarrassed about my own body. 1025 00:49:37,470 --> 00:49:39,221 I can't even take my hoodie off during sex 1026 00:49:39,222 --> 00:49:41,911 because I have more nipples than a pregnant dog. 1027 00:49:43,930 --> 00:49:45,670 Yes, I have heard that about you. 1028 00:49:45,770 --> 00:49:49,110 And Colin, I'm sorry too, because I owe you everything. 1029 00:49:49,510 --> 00:49:50,510 Aww. 1030 00:49:50,670 --> 00:49:54,650 When Colin discovered me, I was selling crack outside the Bronx. 1031 00:49:56,710 --> 00:50:00,790 And now look at me, selling crack outside the American Girl doll store. 1032 00:50:02,570 --> 00:50:06,610 I've told thousands of jokes on Update and gotten dozens of laughs. 1033 00:50:07,570 --> 00:50:11,430 But I've never said the three most important words of all. 1034 00:50:12,017 --> 00:50:13,496 I love you. 1035 00:50:15,432 --> 00:50:17,558 Aw... Love you, too. 1036 00:50:20,417 --> 00:50:22,279 Love you too, buddy. I love you too. 1037 00:50:22,460 --> 00:50:24,300 Oh, well, um, yeah. 1038 00:50:25,220 --> 00:50:26,220 Okay. 1039 00:50:26,376 --> 00:50:30,285 But before I continue, Golden State Warriors 1040 00:50:30,310 --> 00:50:33,980 head coach Steve Kerr is here with his family. 1041 00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:38,680 I got to meet his son, Nick, and I love Steve. 1042 00:50:38,681 --> 00:50:40,420 I like Nick. 1043 00:50:42,460 --> 00:50:45,760 But I wouldn't say I'm a Nick Kerr lover. 1044 00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:58,320 Says besides the point, Colin, but sure. 1045 00:51:02,700 --> 00:51:09,400 Some psychologists say adults can reduce stress by returning to a childhood hobby, 1046 00:51:09,540 --> 00:51:13,409 which is why I return to my favorite childhood hobby, 1047 00:51:13,410 --> 00:51:16,180 topping off priests with my pretty little mouth. 1048 00:51:22,030 --> 00:51:23,770 Speaking of which... 1049 00:51:41,516 --> 00:51:44,696 Lorne, I'll do anything to run this show. 1050 00:51:48,559 --> 00:51:50,361 For Weekend Update I'm Michael Che 1051 00:51:50,399 --> 00:51:52,319 I'm Colin Jost Goodnight! 1052 00:52:06,820 --> 00:52:07,835 All right, everyone. 1053 00:52:07,860 --> 00:52:11,500 Welcome to day one of shooting Penelope's Secret. 1054 00:52:11,900 --> 00:52:12,380 Yes. 1055 00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:18,480 It's a romance about two women in the 50s who fall deeply in love. 1056 00:52:18,481 --> 00:52:20,480 And yes, I'm the director. 1057 00:52:20,481 --> 00:52:22,940 And yes, I am a man. 1058 00:52:22,941 --> 00:52:23,941 Sorry. 1059 00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:27,848 Why don't I throw to our assistant director who, 1060 00:52:27,849 --> 00:52:31,780 and this will make you all feel better, is a woman. 1061 00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:33,160 Yay, woman! 1062 00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:35,260 Thanks, Greg. 1063 00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:36,760 Actually, I'm non-binary. 1064 00:52:37,020 --> 00:52:37,400 Oops. 1065 00:52:37,740 --> 00:52:38,740 Sorry. 1066 00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:42,599 Okay, so our first scene up today will be the one 1067 00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:45,540 where Penelope and Madam Wilcox first become intimate. 1068 00:52:45,860 --> 00:52:48,857 And to make sure everyone feels safe and comfortable, 1069 00:52:48,858 --> 00:52:51,621 we've brought in two intimacy coordinators. 1070 00:52:51,660 --> 00:52:53,500 Guys, want to introduce yourselves? 1071 00:52:53,820 --> 00:52:53,980 Yep. 1072 00:52:54,340 --> 00:52:54,840 Hi, everyone. 1073 00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:55,540 I'm Trish. 1074 00:52:55,740 --> 00:52:59,900 And this is an insane coincidence, but my name is also Madam Wilcox. 1075 00:53:01,420 --> 00:53:03,120 Well, thanks for being here, you guys. 1076 00:53:03,420 --> 00:53:04,300 Thanks for having us. 1077 00:53:04,301 --> 00:53:05,580 Uh, now where's our cast? 1078 00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:07,100 Uh, right over here. 1079 00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:09,540 This is Annabelle, and this is Rachel. 1080 00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:11,280 Great to meet you. 1081 00:53:12,240 --> 00:53:13,640 So, where's the dude? 1082 00:53:14,660 --> 00:53:16,400 Oh, uh, there's no dude. 1083 00:53:16,620 --> 00:53:17,780 Just the two women. 1084 00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:18,680 Oh, okay. 1085 00:53:18,700 --> 00:53:19,920 So it's just a kissing scene. 1086 00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:20,380 Okay. 1087 00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:20,780 All right. 1088 00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:21,140 All right. 1089 00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:22,280 That's great. 1090 00:53:22,380 --> 00:53:25,820 No, guys, it's a full love scene between two women. 1091 00:53:27,509 --> 00:53:28,282 But... 1092 00:53:29,195 --> 00:53:30,700 how would that even work? 1093 00:53:33,174 --> 00:53:34,174 What do you mean? 1094 00:53:34,326 --> 00:53:38,626 Oh, no, he's just confused because he doesn't get how two buns make a hot dog. 1095 00:53:39,340 --> 00:53:40,140 I get it. 1096 00:53:40,200 --> 00:53:40,580 I love it. 1097 00:53:40,860 --> 00:53:43,800 But wait, like, two donuts isn't exactly a balanced breakfast. 1098 00:53:44,500 --> 00:53:46,560 It's simply too much tunnel, not enough train. 1099 00:53:48,500 --> 00:53:50,100 Okay, uh, I'm sorry. 1100 00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:53,320 Have you guys never worked on a queer set before? 1101 00:53:53,321 --> 00:53:58,140 Or as us allies like to call it, an overdue set. 1102 00:53:58,360 --> 00:53:59,060 Am I right? 1103 00:53:59,280 --> 00:53:59,700 Yeah! 1104 00:54:00,260 --> 00:54:01,260 Okay, uh, okay. 1105 00:54:01,500 --> 00:54:02,700 Just get it together. 1106 00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:03,640 Whoops, I'm sorry. 1107 00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:05,660 Yeah, of course, we've worked on queer sets. 1108 00:54:05,780 --> 00:54:07,980 I mean, I myself am ally passing. 1109 00:54:09,720 --> 00:54:11,980 But it's different for girls, right? 1110 00:54:12,320 --> 00:54:13,880 Like, gay guys, I get. 1111 00:54:14,060 --> 00:54:15,620 A butt is basically a vajooj. 1112 00:54:16,860 --> 00:54:17,860 I'm sorry. 1113 00:54:18,040 --> 00:54:20,360 Do you think lesbians don't have sex? 1114 00:54:21,039 --> 00:54:24,119 Oh, well, I hope this isn't offensive, but real sex? 1115 00:54:24,240 --> 00:54:24,555 No. 1116 00:54:24,580 --> 00:54:25,180 No, I don't. 1117 00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:26,180 You know what? 1118 00:54:26,181 --> 00:54:28,596 He's just having trouble understanding how you'd 1119 00:54:28,597 --> 00:54:30,760 pay without putting a credit card in a reader. 1120 00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:31,760 Oh! 1121 00:54:32,140 --> 00:54:34,680 Is it like Apple Pay, where you just tap vagoo-goos? 1122 00:54:36,755 --> 00:54:38,155 I'm sorry, dude. 1123 00:54:38,180 --> 00:54:39,180 Vagoo-goos? 1124 00:54:39,740 --> 00:54:41,020 Seriously, my guy? 1125 00:54:41,220 --> 00:54:45,120 This is highly offensive to lesbian folks. 1126 00:54:45,740 --> 00:54:47,960 Actually, that's not totally wrong. 1127 00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:50,760 Ugh, she's so annoying. 1128 00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:52,000 Dude! 1129 00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:55,160 Sorry, they are so annoying. 1130 00:54:55,800 --> 00:54:56,540 You know what? 1131 00:54:56,760 --> 00:54:58,540 Maybe just try to picture it, madame. 1132 00:54:59,420 --> 00:55:00,660 I guess I could give it a shot. 1133 00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:03,840 Oh. 1134 00:55:05,660 --> 00:55:06,660 Uh-huh. 1135 00:55:08,580 --> 00:55:09,980 Well, that is nice. 1136 00:55:11,212 --> 00:55:14,573 Um, you know, perhaps there's some online videos 1137 00:55:14,606 --> 00:55:17,464 of two ladies that I could watch as further research. 1138 00:55:17,500 --> 00:55:20,340 Yeah, I think I'm gonna go watch some videos of two ladies right now. 1139 00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:21,520 Uh-huh. 1140 00:55:23,900 --> 00:55:24,900 Wow, okay. 1141 00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:27,540 He was in a hurry. 1142 00:55:27,820 --> 00:55:28,480 What's a Wi-Fi? 1143 00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:29,600 Wait, what's the Wi-Fi? 1144 00:55:29,772 --> 00:55:30,192 What's the Wi-Fi? 1145 00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:30,720 What's the Wi-Fi? 1146 00:55:30,820 --> 00:55:31,280 What's the Wi-Fi? 1147 00:55:31,380 --> 00:55:32,520 STPA! 1148 00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:33,800 Okay. 1149 00:55:34,240 --> 00:55:36,140 Guys, we gotta get going here. 1150 00:55:36,240 --> 00:55:37,436 Can we move on with the scene? 1151 00:55:37,460 --> 00:55:38,160 Yep, you know what? 1152 00:55:38,460 --> 00:55:39,460 Let's just do it. 1153 00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:00,460 What's up, fans? 1154 00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:04,500 This is TV Takes, where we talk to your favorite cast from your favorite shows. 1155 00:56:04,820 --> 00:56:06,000 Yep, and we're so excited. 1156 00:56:06,140 --> 00:56:08,480 This was our most requested show this year. 1157 00:56:08,660 --> 00:56:11,700 Joining us today is the cast of the hit romance, Summer Lake. 1158 00:56:13,560 --> 00:56:13,920 Hey! 1159 00:56:13,921 --> 00:56:15,041 Thanks for being here, guys. 1160 00:56:15,340 --> 00:56:17,520 We've got a ton of questions for the whole cast. 1161 00:56:17,720 --> 00:56:19,760 There's so much that the fans are dying to know. 1162 00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:23,260 But we gotta start with the Internet's boyfriend, Danny Cheeks. 1163 00:56:23,261 --> 00:56:24,660 Oh, hey, guys. 1164 00:56:24,900 --> 00:56:25,900 It's me. 1165 00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:29,060 So, Danny, first question's for you. 1166 00:56:29,160 --> 00:56:31,860 Your character is always wearing his signature hoodies. 1167 00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:33,460 Were those from your real closet? 1168 00:56:33,820 --> 00:56:37,700 Oh, nah, I wish, but the wardrobe department knew what was up. 1169 00:56:37,980 --> 00:56:38,880 They really did. 1170 00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:41,080 And next question, Danny, how did you get into acting? 1171 00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:44,220 Well, I love watching TV, so I wanted to try it. 1172 00:56:45,940 --> 00:56:47,880 And our next question is for you, Rachelle. 1173 00:56:48,060 --> 00:56:50,060 What's harder, being a woman or being black? 1174 00:56:50,061 --> 00:56:51,380 Oh, wow. 1175 00:56:51,580 --> 00:56:52,740 That's my question? 1176 00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:54,080 Yep. 1177 00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:55,480 So, let's go back to Danny. 1178 00:56:55,660 --> 00:56:57,340 Was it fun shooting at the lake? 1179 00:56:57,700 --> 00:56:58,060 Huh. 1180 00:56:58,240 --> 00:57:00,040 It was fun, but it was hot. 1181 00:57:00,700 --> 00:57:01,940 Yeah, it looked hot. 1182 00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:04,500 And, Jade, when's the last time you took Plan B? 1183 00:57:05,380 --> 00:57:05,860 Whoa! 1184 00:57:06,240 --> 00:57:07,240 Don't ask that. 1185 00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:08,360 Okay. 1186 00:57:08,740 --> 00:57:11,380 So, Danny, do you have a favorite on-set snack? 1187 00:57:11,381 --> 00:57:13,280 Aw, man, that's hard. 1188 00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:15,700 Uh, maybe pretzels? 1189 00:57:16,380 --> 00:57:17,380 Ooh, nice. 1190 00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:18,100 Salty. 1191 00:57:18,420 --> 00:57:21,760 And now, Cassie, you're not as attractive as the other cast members. 1192 00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:24,800 That's not a question. 1193 00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:27,360 That's what the fans are saying. 1194 00:57:27,620 --> 00:57:29,580 So, Danny, who are you dating these days? 1195 00:57:29,980 --> 00:57:31,580 Oh, I don't kiss and tell. 1196 00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:33,240 Of course, that's private. 1197 00:57:33,660 --> 00:57:35,760 So, Taylor, you just had a really bad divorce. 1198 00:57:35,761 --> 00:57:38,140 Whose fault was it, you or your husband's? 1199 00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:41,820 It was a girl, and it was my fault. 1200 00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:43,280 Aw. 1201 00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:45,640 Wait, Danny, is it fun having abs? 1202 00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:47,420 Yeah, I love it. 1203 00:57:48,440 --> 00:57:51,040 Sorry, why can't we get questions like that? 1204 00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:52,600 Okay, Cassie, here's a fun one. 1205 00:57:52,895 --> 00:57:53,995 You recently got married. 1206 00:57:54,020 --> 00:57:54,715 Congrats. 1207 00:57:54,740 --> 00:57:56,800 So, why isn't your husband a Ukrainian refugee? 1208 00:57:57,620 --> 00:57:59,400 That wasn't a fun one. 1209 00:58:00,540 --> 00:58:01,540 I had fun. 1210 00:58:03,066 --> 00:58:05,586 Danny, when's the last time you laughed really hard? 1211 00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:07,820 Watching TikTok pranks. 1212 00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:10,140 Rochelle, we go to you. 1213 00:58:10,300 --> 00:58:13,140 Deadline reported that you're being written out of the show next season. 1214 00:58:13,166 --> 00:58:14,766 Is it because someone leaked your nudes? 1215 00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:19,020 Um, I'm just learning about all parts of that right now. 1216 00:58:20,020 --> 00:58:20,500 Really? 1217 00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:21,720 It's everywhere. 1218 00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:23,760 Now, Danny, what's your favorite? 1219 00:58:25,180 --> 00:58:26,180 Everything. 1220 00:58:26,440 --> 00:58:27,440 Oh, Danny. 1221 00:58:28,020 --> 00:58:30,020 Hold up, am I being written out of the show? 1222 00:58:30,140 --> 00:58:31,220 Rochelle, drop it. 1223 00:58:32,540 --> 00:58:33,440 Next question. 1224 00:58:33,441 --> 00:58:36,120 Jade, who's your favorite cast member to party with? 1225 00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:38,040 Aw, that actually is fun. 1226 00:58:38,240 --> 00:58:39,680 I love going out with Taylor. 1227 00:58:40,140 --> 00:58:41,140 Aw, same. 1228 00:58:41,300 --> 00:58:43,563 And Jade, if you could vote one religion off 1229 00:58:43,564 --> 00:58:45,680 the face of the earth, which one would you pick? 1230 00:58:46,420 --> 00:58:47,560 No, pass. 1231 00:58:47,820 --> 00:58:48,680 Okay, here's another. 1232 00:58:48,840 --> 00:58:50,280 How come all of your exes are white? 1233 00:58:51,420 --> 00:58:52,420 Pass. 1234 00:58:53,595 --> 00:58:56,275 And Cassie, you good face but bad hair. 1235 00:58:56,300 --> 00:58:57,300 You have mental problem? 1236 00:58:58,460 --> 00:58:59,540 Excuse me? 1237 00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:01,000 Pass. 1238 00:59:01,460 --> 00:59:04,240 And Rochelle, what are you gonna do now that you're unemployed? 1239 00:59:05,100 --> 00:59:06,360 Is that confirmed? 1240 00:59:07,975 --> 00:59:08,515 Yes. 1241 00:59:08,540 --> 00:59:10,140 And Danny, music or pictures? 1242 00:59:11,146 --> 00:59:12,146 Music. 1243 00:59:13,129 --> 00:59:17,815 And finally, to all the women, gun to your head, why do lesbians dress like that? 1244 00:59:18,115 --> 00:59:19,195 What do you mean? 1245 00:59:19,220 --> 00:59:20,080 Now, let me rephrase. 1246 00:59:20,180 --> 00:59:21,935 If a lesbian was raised in a lab and never saw 1247 00:59:21,936 --> 00:59:24,741 another person, would she still dress like that? 1248 00:59:25,695 --> 00:59:26,935 You know what's crazy? 1249 00:59:26,960 --> 00:59:29,420 This is the best interview we've done so far. 1250 00:59:29,421 --> 00:59:31,180 Man, we're out of time. 1251 00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:32,480 This was awesome. 1252 00:59:32,540 --> 00:59:33,560 I wish we had more time. 1253 00:59:33,840 --> 00:59:34,600 Aw, me too. 1254 00:59:34,860 --> 00:59:35,860 Yeah, me too. 1255 00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:38,740 This was really, really interesting. 1256 00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:40,040 Hey, that's what I thought. 1257 00:59:40,260 --> 00:59:41,260 Oh my gosh, same. 1258 00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:42,860 Thanks for watching, everyone. 1259 00:59:43,100 --> 00:59:44,660 And make sure to join our Discord. 1260 00:59:44,940 --> 00:59:48,400 We're gonna post Danny's baby pics and everyone else's old tweets. 1261 00:59:49,060 --> 00:59:50,800 Why are you doing that? 1262 00:59:51,300 --> 00:59:53,800 I was cute and I still am. 1263 01:00:10,949 --> 01:00:12,689 Once again, Bad Bunny. 1264 01:03:10,259 --> 01:03:13,619 And now, Victorian ladies at lunch. 1265 01:03:14,700 --> 01:03:18,768 Oh, it is so wonderful to see you all again. 1266 01:03:19,026 --> 01:03:21,546 I do so treasure our lunches together. 1267 01:03:21,700 --> 01:03:24,595 And your chef is magnificent. 1268 01:03:24,620 --> 01:03:27,155 Look at this incredible feast. 1269 01:03:27,180 --> 01:03:31,535 Oh, I do say I'm as hungry as the horse that brought me over here. 1270 01:03:31,675 --> 01:03:33,815 And it's a new horse, I've heard. 1271 01:03:33,840 --> 01:03:34,880 How fast is he again? 1272 01:03:34,881 --> 01:03:36,620 About one horse power. 1273 01:03:38,586 --> 01:03:40,715 Hello, ladies. 1274 01:03:40,740 --> 01:03:42,435 Is everything to your liking? 1275 01:03:42,460 --> 01:03:49,435 Well, I see blood pudding and pickles cows' feet, so I'm in heaven. 1276 01:03:49,653 --> 01:03:50,293 Excellent. 1277 01:03:50,400 --> 01:03:53,030 And how are the jellied eels today? 1278 01:03:53,200 --> 01:03:54,240 Oh, exquisite. 1279 01:03:54,460 --> 01:03:57,776 We take the whole eel and just smother it in jelly. 1280 01:03:58,539 --> 01:04:01,759 I can't wait to taste that texture. 1281 01:04:02,260 --> 01:04:04,620 And the candied clams. 1282 01:04:04,860 --> 01:04:05,860 Are they fresh? 1283 01:04:05,900 --> 01:04:06,900 Oh, absolutely. 1284 01:04:07,080 --> 01:04:10,580 They arrived last Wednesday and we've kept them in an open wooden box. 1285 01:04:13,680 --> 01:04:16,140 And the boiled calf's head? 1286 01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:16,700 Yes? 1287 01:04:16,701 --> 01:04:19,580 Was that a change in a humane fashion? 1288 01:04:20,060 --> 01:04:20,640 Ha, ha, ha, ha. 1289 01:04:20,900 --> 01:04:21,680 Not at all. 1290 01:04:21,900 --> 01:04:26,160 And girls, what type of birds will we be eating today? 1291 01:04:26,360 --> 01:04:29,540 Oh, the most upsetting ones, my lady. 1292 01:04:30,500 --> 01:04:34,980 Eagles, hummingbirds, penguins, and I believe we still have a few baby puffins. 1293 01:04:34,981 --> 01:04:37,260 No, not anymore, you don't. 1294 01:04:37,400 --> 01:04:38,960 Yummy, yummy in my tummy. 1295 01:04:45,820 --> 01:04:48,220 And the BLT. 1296 01:04:48,940 --> 01:04:50,460 What's in that again? 1297 01:04:50,980 --> 01:04:53,080 Bunnies and little turtles. 1298 01:04:54,300 --> 01:04:56,100 And the Turkey Club. 1299 01:04:56,260 --> 01:04:57,780 What was it, Cloud Twins? 1300 01:04:57,781 --> 01:05:00,520 Why, the Bible, of course. 1301 01:05:02,100 --> 01:05:05,020 And what was that special on the menu? 1302 01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:06,160 Panda Express? 1303 01:05:06,460 --> 01:05:10,080 Ah, yes, it's a panda that we pushed in front of a train. 1304 01:05:11,320 --> 01:05:13,340 That's how I want to go. 1305 01:05:16,960 --> 01:05:19,240 Oh, it's so delicious. 1306 01:05:19,960 --> 01:05:21,100 Yummy, it's delicious. 1307 01:05:21,520 --> 01:05:22,520 Indeed. 1308 01:05:22,600 --> 01:05:24,580 Yummy, it's delicious. 1309 01:05:30,070 --> 01:05:33,130 I love, I love this hamster sashimi. 1310 01:05:33,131 --> 01:05:35,190 Wonderful, wonderful. 1311 01:05:35,690 --> 01:05:38,310 Now, before I go, anything to drink? 1312 01:05:39,610 --> 01:05:44,110 I think four brimming glasses of donkey's milk will do. 1313 01:05:44,310 --> 01:05:45,310 Right, lady? 1314 01:05:45,770 --> 01:05:47,630 Indeed, yeah, indeed. 1315 01:05:48,170 --> 01:05:51,410 And that's donkey's milk, Gerald. 1316 01:05:51,770 --> 01:05:54,050 Don't make that mistake again. 1317 01:05:55,410 --> 01:05:58,230 Well, you understand why it took so long last time. 1318 01:05:59,616 --> 01:06:01,736 Ladies, bon appetit. 1319 01:06:02,629 --> 01:06:16,432 Three hours later 1320 01:06:16,820 --> 01:06:20,340 so, what did everyone do after lunch? 1321 01:06:20,840 --> 01:06:23,740 I went to the bathroom. 1322 01:06:24,480 --> 01:06:26,600 I went to the bathroom as well. 1323 01:06:27,160 --> 01:06:29,860 I went numbers two through seven. 1324 01:06:31,020 --> 01:06:33,700 And how was it for everyone? 1325 01:06:34,260 --> 01:06:35,980 Mine was bad. 1326 01:06:35,981 --> 01:06:38,640 Mine was the worst it could be. 1327 01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:43,380 I was wearing so many layers and I did not get any of them off. 1328 01:06:45,280 --> 01:06:51,900 I think the jellied eel came out whole and jumped back into the sink. 1329 01:06:53,200 --> 01:06:54,280 Yum, yum, yum! 1330 01:06:54,800 --> 01:06:56,840 Are the ladies ready to order dinner? 1331 01:06:57,939 --> 01:07:00,819 I mean, I guess we could spit something small. 1332 01:07:00,960 --> 01:07:02,320 Perhaps a hot dog? 1333 01:07:02,920 --> 01:07:03,440 Wonderful. 1334 01:07:03,660 --> 01:07:05,940 I'll get the poodle into the jacuzzi right away. 1335 01:07:06,174 --> 01:07:08,554 Oh, my God! 1336 01:07:08,900 --> 01:07:09,900 Pepto-Bismol. 1337 01:07:10,080 --> 01:07:13,640 Settle down your stomach with the only medicine that's made with, Oh, God! 1338 01:07:13,820 --> 01:07:14,820 Flamingos? 1339 01:07:23,126 --> 01:07:24,030 Oh, no! 1340 01:07:33,027 --> 01:07:37,096 Thank you Bad Bunny, Mike Myers 1341 01:07:38,127 --> 01:07:40,127 I want to thank you and congratulations 1342 01:07:40,152 --> 01:07:43,815 to the incredible cast and crew for these 50 years. 1343 01:07:43,840 --> 01:07:44,420 So amazing. 1344 01:07:44,620 --> 01:07:46,745 Lorne Michaels, wherever you are, you're not going 1345 01:07:46,746 --> 01:07:48,761 to want me to single you out, but congratulations. 1346 01:07:48,860 --> 01:07:50,540 You are a singular man. 1347 01:07:50,720 --> 01:07:52,480 We love you and thank you! 1348 01:07:57,698 --> 01:07:59,578 By CharadaBR 1349 01:08:00,305 --> 01:09:00,347 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm