"SNL50: Beyond Saturday Night" More Cowbell

1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 2 00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:17,417 Ladies and gentlemen, 3 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,853 Tina Fey! 4 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,962 Thank you very much. 5 00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:31,297 I am honored to be here. 6 00:00:31,398 --> 00:00:34,934 Uh, I was a writer here for nine years, 7 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,903 and I've always thought of myself 8 00:00:37,003 --> 00:00:39,739 more of a writer than as a performer. 9 00:00:39,839 --> 00:00:41,741 Oh, boy. Oh, boy. 10 00:00:46,579 --> 00:00:48,014 You know, Tina, 11 00:00:48,114 --> 00:00:50,283 I was once small like you. 12 00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:53,653 People forget that I got my start as a writer, 13 00:00:53,753 --> 00:00:54,921 and why did they forget? 14 00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:56,222 Because I wanted them to forget. 15 00:00:56,322 --> 00:00:58,958 Look at you, all slouched over 16 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,494 like a writer, all apologetic. 17 00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:05,131 Look at those writers. Don't end up like them. 18 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:10,203 Do you think that the writers 19 00:01:10,303 --> 00:01:12,138 get the credit that they deserve? 20 00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:13,907 Absolutely not. 21 00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:15,709 No. 22 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:18,411 I don't... I don't think so. 23 00:01:18,511 --> 00:01:19,479 Well, no. 24 00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:20,847 No. No. 25 00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:22,782 No, I don't think so at all. 26 00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:24,117 Oh, dear. 27 00:01:24,617 --> 00:01:27,354 You've really stepped on a land mine here. 28 00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:29,589 People don't think about the writers, 29 00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:30,824 you know what I mean? 30 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,726 It's like the second-class citizen. 31 00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:35,261 They're not valued in any way. 32 00:01:35,895 --> 00:01:38,498 I believe our names roll by extremely fast, 33 00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:42,268 uh, over shots of the castmates hugging 34 00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:45,105 and meeting the famous people. 35 00:01:45,205 --> 00:01:47,640 They're like, oh, the sad writers 36 00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:49,242 that you never see. 37 00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:51,111 Let me introduce myself. 38 00:01:51,211 --> 00:01:53,513 I'm Gags Beasley. I'm a comedy writer. 39 00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:56,349 - The name ring a bell? - No. 40 00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,618 I usually work straight through the day until dinner, 41 00:01:58,718 --> 00:02:00,653 and I don't eat lunch because I really can't afford it. 42 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:03,223 What's it like looking like the last three guys 43 00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,325 a lesbian sleeps with before coming out? 44 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,767 In general, people, when they watch an SNL sketch, 45 00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:16,469 they don't think of the writer behind the sketch at all. 46 00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:19,239 I've had people come up to me and say, 47 00:02:19,339 --> 00:02:22,208 "SNL is so good, but how much of it is improvised?" 48 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,010 And I have to say, like, 49 00:02:24,110 --> 00:02:25,812 "One percent, maybe?" 50 00:02:25,912 --> 00:02:29,182 Goddamn! 51 00:02:29,282 --> 00:02:31,251 I think in general, 52 00:02:31,351 --> 00:02:34,054 people just think the actors say what they want. 53 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,122 It just comes out as funny, 54 00:02:36,222 --> 00:02:38,625 and there's a coherent story there somehow. 55 00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:41,761 Do you need anything from us about vampires? 56 00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:43,530 No. 57 00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:45,699 But there is a team of writers. 58 00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:49,102 We don't always send them out there with the best material, 59 00:02:49,202 --> 00:02:52,372 but it is written, for the most part. 60 00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:54,808 And when it's done well... 61 00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:58,111 ...most people think, as it should be, 62 00:02:58,211 --> 00:03:00,480 that the actors made up their words, 63 00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:03,116 which is the greatest compliment to a writer, 64 00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:05,752 and also the greatest burn at the same time. 65 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,487 Roll it! 66 00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:12,325 I will say I loved it more than any job I ever had. 67 00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:14,694 And I'm so glad it's not my current job. 68 00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:19,966 My highest highs and my lowest lows, 69 00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:22,068 honey, were at that show. 70 00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:26,539 I like the sea of fire you get thrown into. 71 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:29,376 Writers are always gonna write turds. 72 00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:31,411 They're always gonna write jewels. 73 00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:33,813 And it's just the spin of the wheel, 74 00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:35,015 you know, every week. 75 00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:37,884 Five, four, three, two... 76 00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:39,386 Hit it. 77 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,810 - I think we're gonna do it. - Sounds good. 78 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:18,224 So, uh, I had a pretty interesting Sunday. 79 00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:21,995 What's up, everybody? Welcome back. 80 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,698 Yeah, good show. Nice work. 81 00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:28,368 And if we could do it again, that would be wonderful. 82 00:04:28,468 --> 00:04:30,003 As a writer, 83 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:34,374 your Monday depends on how your show the previous Saturday went. 84 00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:37,377 If you had a great show, maybe you're coming in Monday 85 00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:40,513 very excited and looking for a couple "attaboys." 86 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,415 If you had a terrible show, maybe you're coming in 87 00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:43,850 a little bit of a shell... 88 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:47,087 ...and with the hopes to redeem yourself. 89 00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:48,855 But either way, 90 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:52,625 you're very quickly onto the new show, the new host. 91 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,461 We just talked to her. She's a delight. 92 00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:56,496 She's down for pretty much anything. 93 00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:59,699 She just wants to kind of play with the cast. 94 00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:03,336 Yeah. She said she's willing to attempt to sing. 95 00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:06,339 Not the greatest singer, but is happy to do it. 96 00:05:06,439 --> 00:05:08,575 And I think she can do a lot of different things, 97 00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:10,043 like voices and stuff. 98 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,911 They tell us what the host 99 00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,046 is interested in doing 100 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,514 and what they can do. 101 00:05:14,614 --> 00:05:17,217 What accents? Can they sing? Can they dance? 102 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,519 Um, just stay away from this topic. 103 00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:21,488 They would love to joke about this thing. 104 00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:24,924 So it's just giving us an idea of how we should 105 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:26,059 tailor our writing. 106 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:30,764 And then we'll all walk down the hall and line up. 107 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:31,765 You can just-- 108 00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:34,567 You can see the anxiety starting to build. 109 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:38,405 And all the cast and writers pile into Lorne's office. 110 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,075 And then we meet the host. 111 00:05:48,214 --> 00:05:50,383 And we go around the room and we pitch an idea, 112 00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:52,152 and it's in the format of, like, 113 00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:53,753 maybe you're a... 114 00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:56,489 Maybe you're a Boston Duck Boat driver, 115 00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:58,591 and you're giving your safety speech, 116 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:01,294 but you've forgotten the word "ejected," 117 00:06:01,394 --> 00:06:03,296 so you keep telling people what to do 118 00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:06,733 in the unlikely event they get ejaculated. 119 00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:12,872 Maybe you play a character called the Cocky Dyslexic. 120 00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:14,240 And, uh... 121 00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:16,376 So you're like, "Yeah, I'm a billionaire. 122 00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:18,211 Billionaire with a V." 123 00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:24,484 I would say half of the things you're pitching 124 00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:27,487 are probably something you thought of on the toilet 125 00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:29,689 right as you're walking into the pitch meeting. 126 00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:32,292 Those meetings were just bullshit. 127 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,894 You would just make up stuff. 128 00:06:34,994 --> 00:06:38,064 You'd take two words, you put them together, you know? 129 00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:39,766 Uh... sneaker farm. 130 00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:42,502 I want to do a thing called sneaker farm, okay? 131 00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:45,472 "Fuck, now I gotta think of what a sneaker farm is." 132 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,507 It's absolute smoke and mirrors. 133 00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:50,977 We're trying to trick the host into making them think 134 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:53,446 that we've been thinking about them for a long time. 135 00:06:53,546 --> 00:06:56,149 I was thinking maybe you play a new superhero, 136 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,184 but your superpowers is that 137 00:06:58,284 --> 00:07:00,120 you've had three espresso martinis. 138 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,426 Most of the ideas you pitch are fake. 139 00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:08,495 If you actually did have a good idea, 140 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,630 you would never pitch it because you would want 141 00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:13,600 the joke to be fresh at the table read, 142 00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,735 which isn't for another two days. 143 00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:20,907 The point of it is for the host 144 00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:22,042 to feel like, 145 00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:23,710 "Oh, I'm in good hands, 146 00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:26,179 and these guys are really funny." 147 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,652 The staff is definitely made up 148 00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:35,922 from a variety of people working in comedy. 149 00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:38,692 So, you know, there's a bunch of stand-ups. 150 00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:40,593 There's a bunch of improvisers. 151 00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:43,530 There's a bunch of whatever I am. 152 00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:47,801 You know, like people have all these weird backgrounds. 153 00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:50,570 I know it's kind of crazy, but yeah, 154 00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:52,605 I was a dental receptionist before I worked here. 155 00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:56,209 So I quit my dentist job on, like, it was like a Monday. 156 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,778 And then by Saturday, 157 00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:02,015 something I wrote was, like, on TV. 158 00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:05,285 Yeah. 159 00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:06,686 Listen, you're talking to a stand-up, 160 00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:09,989 so it's easy to write comedy for me. 161 00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,291 I think Alex auditioned. 162 00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:15,462 I know he worked at the Top of the Rock tour thing 163 00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:17,097 so he was already in the building. 164 00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:19,099 Thank God. 165 00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,868 Jimmy and I both started writing here last year. 166 00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:24,571 When I first met you, remember, and I was like, 167 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,106 "Oh, my God, I can't believe we're here." 168 00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:29,476 And she was like, "Yeah, like, hopefully I don't get fired." 169 00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:31,111 And I was like, 170 00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:32,612 "We're not getting fired. 171 00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:35,382 We are gonna seriously explode." 172 00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,317 She's back there churning out ideas, 173 00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,752 and Jimmy's out there selling them. 174 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,421 I think he used to be a go-go dancer, though. 175 00:08:41,921 --> 00:08:45,125 You should ask him. I can't verify that. 176 00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:46,626 Wait. What? 177 00:08:46,726 --> 00:08:49,162 I mean, I came up through UCB here in New York, 178 00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:52,298 so I auditioned as a performer, and they hired me as a writer. 179 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:54,701 I went to NYU for playwriting 180 00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:57,137 and was like, "Great, this is it. 181 00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:58,738 I'm gonna be a playwright, 182 00:08:58,838 --> 00:09:00,874 and write about things that really matter." 183 00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:03,309 And then basically immediately got, like, 184 00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:05,178 the most corporate comedy job. 185 00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:09,649 Celeste was a playwright. August was a poet. 186 00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:12,052 Sort of like kind of weird stuff 187 00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:15,588 that you wouldn't necessarily think is a straight line 188 00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,490 into sketch comedy writing. 189 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,926 But I do think it kind of takes a mix 190 00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:23,530 of all those types of people to kind of get this thing 191 00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:25,498 on TV every week. 192 00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:28,535 Maybe you're part of a three-documentary 193 00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:29,903 film crew pileup 194 00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:32,072 where, like, one group follows you around 195 00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,274 and you run into two friends, and they each have crews. 196 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,480 All right, nice job last week. 197 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,881 Let's start. 198 00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:48,822 How are you feeling? 199 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,758 There's an anxiety after Monday pitch 200 00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:54,861 because the next day there's gonna be 201 00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:57,030 40 to 50 sketches written by everybody, 202 00:09:57,130 --> 00:10:00,633 and you hope that one of yours will be selected. 203 00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:02,802 But the panic, I find, 204 00:10:02,902 --> 00:10:04,571 doesn't set in until Tuesday. 205 00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:06,039 Yup. 206 00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:37,237 There's a kind of weird, scary calmness to Tuesday nights 207 00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:39,806 where it's like, 208 00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:41,841 everybody has the same job to do. 209 00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:48,114 Which is, like, write whatever they think is the funniest. 210 00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:51,117 Most arrogant thing to write. 211 00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:53,453 And... 212 00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:56,756 it's like it's not over till it's over. 213 00:10:56,856 --> 00:10:59,793 And it's over when, like, every sketch is submitted. 214 00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:08,935 Tuesday's our hardest night, uh, for writers. 215 00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:12,572 I come in usually, like, 12:30, 216 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,874 and I go home at, like, 3:00 a.m. 217 00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:17,177 I probably get to bed around 4:00 or 5:00 a.m. 218 00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:19,646 Pretty crazy, like, I'll usually go to bed 219 00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:21,681 at, like, 6:30 on a Tuesday, 220 00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:23,750 which is not good for my mental health. 221 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,052 And I will say, like, this has been, like, 222 00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:28,655 the most incredible experience, working here, ever, 223 00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:32,025 and my mental health has never been worse. 224 00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:34,694 I hated it. 225 00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:39,766 I hated it because when I got to work on Tuesday, 226 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:44,137 I knew I wouldn't get to sleep until Wednesday, okay? 227 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:50,076 Writing comedy is either easy or it's impossible. 228 00:11:50,777 --> 00:11:54,147 And if it's easy, it's really fun. 229 00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:57,784 And if it's impossible, it's terrible 230 00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,453 because you can't think of anything, 231 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,889 and that's your job. 232 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,861 You know, I've been doing stand-up since I was 17. 233 00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,696 And if somebody said, 234 00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:11,598 "What's your process for writing a joke?" 235 00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:14,100 I'd be like, "I don't know." 236 00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:18,438 But if I forced myself to sit down, 237 00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:20,707 something will come from it. 238 00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:22,108 Um... 239 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:25,111 Okay, so, like, um... 240 00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:29,883 Oh, I have an idea where I thought, um, 241 00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:31,818 you could be the Tooth Fairy 242 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,053 and I could be your financial planner. 243 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:35,288 And I'd be like, "You have no cash. 244 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:36,156 You only have teeth." 245 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,591 - Uh-huh. - Like, your business plan 246 00:12:38,692 --> 00:12:39,859 makes no sense. 247 00:12:39,959 --> 00:12:41,728 It's shortsighted, girl. Respect yourself. 248 00:12:41,828 --> 00:12:43,430 Respect yourself. 249 00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:44,831 Yeah. 250 00:12:45,699 --> 00:12:46,800 Do you hate that? 251 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:48,101 No, I think that's great. 252 00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:50,236 I think it's a great jumping-off point. 253 00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:54,708 You have to live with the foreknowledge 254 00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:56,076 that more than likely, 255 00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:58,912 your first draft is not gonna be very good. 256 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:04,818 Gilda used to call it "the vomit draft." 257 00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:07,020 That you would vomit out the words. 258 00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:11,458 She'd say, "Then you would start picking out the corn." 259 00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:15,795 She was like Miss Emily Dickinson, 260 00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:17,030 ladies and gentlemen. 261 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,399 But that's exactly what it is. 262 00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:22,469 You're vomiting, and then you're picking out the corn. 263 00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:28,541 I was raised by two immigrants in Boston, 264 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,677 so of course I'm in therapy. 265 00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:33,546 Yeah, that's gonna be funny. 266 00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:37,117 I like a monologue, because it's always in the show. 267 00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:41,688 Can't cut the monologue. 268 00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:43,857 You can cut my sketch, though. 269 00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:47,293 The traits of host absolutely influences 270 00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:49,596 the type of sketch you're gonna write. 271 00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:52,165 And the best hosts, for my money, 272 00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,300 are the ones who come in and have moves 273 00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:58,371 that you maybe didn't understand they had. 274 00:13:58,471 --> 00:13:59,406 Hi. 275 00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:03,610 Whoa. Shrek. 276 00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,211 Yeah, I'm Shrek. 277 00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,480 I don't care about fashion. 278 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:10,583 I think people who try too hard with their outfits 279 00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:12,352 are maybe hiding something. 280 00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:18,958 We have to take care of this Oompa Loompa situation. 281 00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,694 They need green cards, William. 282 00:14:20,794 --> 00:14:22,162 We're not making tennis shoes here. 283 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:25,265 We're Oompa Loompa doopity-screwed. 284 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,467 I used to try to think of, like, 285 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:30,303 okay, I'm gonna make a list of things that match their type 286 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,505 and a list of things that are very against their type. 287 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:34,140 She's 67 288 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:37,444 and was once the personal concubine of Rommel. 289 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,479 Say hello to Coco. 290 00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,515 Which is how I ended up writing this sketch 291 00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:45,485 where Garth Brooks plays an old French prostitute. 292 00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:48,755 Allô, Don. 293 00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:50,256 Allô, allô. 294 00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:55,495 Boom, this is the magic of deciding 295 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:56,996 what to write every week. 296 00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:59,966 For me, a lot of times I'll make a note of a trope, 297 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,268 even without an idea for what the sketch is. 298 00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,804 Like, let's try to find something funny about this. 299 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,206 Some of it is topical. 300 00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:08,174 Some of it is just stuff, you know, 301 00:15:08,274 --> 00:15:10,010 that happened in my life. 302 00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:14,247 I keep a little notes app, you know, with ideas. 303 00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,249 Some weeks when you don't have a lot of ideas, 304 00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:18,818 I'm just on my phone, like, flipping through my notes. 305 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,154 I won't show you the exact ideas, 306 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,423 but, you know, this is all the ideas I've had 307 00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:25,992 you know, in the last, like, maybe two months or so. 308 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,628 That's crap, that's crap, that's crap. 309 00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:29,696 Maybe this. 310 00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,131 Not all of them are great. 311 00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:33,833 A couple of these have gotten on the show. 312 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:34,968 And some of them are terrible. 313 00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,569 We're stuck in an elevator. 314 00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:37,704 Stuck in an elevator. 315 00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:41,441 You just hear the voice, like, from the elevator. 316 00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:43,476 -"Okay, guys, hold tight." -We'll be right there. 317 00:15:43,576 --> 00:15:46,246 "We'll be right there. You know, it'll be 20 minutes. 318 00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:47,914 Like, just try to stay calm." 319 00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,416 Okay. 320 00:15:49,883 --> 00:15:52,719 We can't trust that, okay? 321 00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:57,123 If there's one thing that you could do in here... 322 00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:58,958 Let's say on the count of three: one, two, three. 323 00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,860 What's one thing you miss about society? 324 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,463 Hooking up. 325 00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:07,033 When you're writing sketches on Tuesday night, 326 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:10,170 you haven't yet learned how bad they are. 327 00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:12,339 You're living in this delusional bubble 328 00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:15,141 where everything you're producing is airtight. 329 00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:19,045 You're laughing hysterically at these sketches 330 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,014 that you don't yet know are doomed. 331 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:23,249 Bill and I stayed up all night brainstorming, 332 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,652 and what we discovered is that there are two things 333 00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:27,087 that everyone loves. 334 00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:29,422 -Cats and lasers. -That's right. 335 00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:31,024 Cats and lasers. 336 00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:32,792 I think it would be perfect for the show. 337 00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:34,961 I don't know, it doesn't sound good. 338 00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:37,397 Okay, that's fair. 339 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,332 But I think you should watch it 340 00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,601 before you make any final decisions. 341 00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:45,939 Laster cats! 342 00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:49,109 Sometimes, the stream of consciousness, 343 00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:52,245 just get in the zone, you're delirious works. 344 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,481 -So? -What do you think? 345 00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:55,682 Get out. 346 00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,384 And sometimes, you'd write that 347 00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,786 and it indeed does not make any sense, 348 00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:02,222 and no one wants to laugh at it. 349 00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:04,357 I feel fine right now. 350 00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:06,793 But it is getting late, so I'm gonna start 351 00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:08,695 feeling crazy in a little bit. 352 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:12,432 So I've been writing this one for, like, seven hours. 353 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,069 I think we all get, like, three verses, but not-- 354 00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:18,238 We'll make it one long verse. 355 00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:20,173 And he get a chunk, I get a chunk. 356 00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,642 I feel like the verse should be random. 357 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,444 Like, barely on beat. 358 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:25,178 Like... 359 00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:26,946 * My husband hates me * 360 00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:28,782 * I think my kids are gay * 361 00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:29,983 * But that's okay * 362 00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:31,818 -You know, something... -Yeah, yeah. 363 00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:33,086 * I'm not my mom, but I'm trash * 364 00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:34,287 * I'm a wife, but I'm trash * 365 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,089 * I think my kids are gay * 366 00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:37,357 * 'Cause my husband is gay * 367 00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:39,225 * I'm stupid * 368 00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:41,261 * And people don't like me * 369 00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:43,797 * Whenever I talk people wanna fight me * 370 00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,665 * I hit my sister * 371 00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:47,033 * Why that ho bite me? * 372 00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:51,104 * Why that ho bite me? * 373 00:17:57,544 --> 00:18:00,413 Even just sitting at this desk on Tuesday nights, 374 00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:03,316 you'll hear screaming down the hall. 375 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,852 And sometimes, half the time, I'm, like, worried 376 00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:07,354 that I should maybe check in. 377 00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:10,223 But I trust the process. I let them do their thing. 378 00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:20,166 Hey, it's Taran. 379 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:24,037 It's 4:30 in the morning on writing night. 380 00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:25,638 It is delirium. 381 00:18:25,739 --> 00:18:28,675 You have delirious dance parties in the middle of the night 382 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:31,978 where, you know, you're doing a conga line through the place. 383 00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:37,250 You know, there was just always something going on. 384 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:41,421 I used to take tampons and dip them in water, 385 00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:43,857 and then whip them against the wall. 386 00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:44,991 And they'd just splat, 387 00:18:45,091 --> 00:18:46,426 and they'll stay there for years. 388 00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:50,463 I remember Tom Davis would come around 389 00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:52,899 with a boom box playing "Baba O'Riley," 390 00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:54,134 that Who song. 391 00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,703 He would play that at full volume 392 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:57,704 and wake me up. 393 00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:02,242 You have to understand, 394 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:05,945 we could stay up for 95,000 hours. 395 00:19:06,046 --> 00:19:09,015 We were very, very young 396 00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:10,784 and having a good time. 397 00:19:11,685 --> 00:19:13,253 Oh! 398 00:19:14,054 --> 00:19:17,257 That first season of SNL, 399 00:19:17,791 --> 00:19:19,225 that's what they did. 400 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,761 Everyone just made out with everyone 401 00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:22,996 and, like, boned everyone. 402 00:19:23,096 --> 00:19:24,564 It was beautiful. 403 00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:30,270 Yeah, we did-- We did get work done, 404 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,839 but there was a lot of, you know, goofing around. 405 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,776 You know, it was the '70s. What can I say? 406 00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:40,814 Uh-oh, gotta go. 407 00:19:40,914 --> 00:19:42,582 Comedy! Ha-ha! 408 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:43,750 Oh! 409 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,586 There was just always something going on 410 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,723 in those middle of the nights that would make people laugh, 411 00:19:49,823 --> 00:19:51,191 and we'd all be crazy, 412 00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,959 and then we'd go back to our room 413 00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:54,694 and be sitting there cooking. 414 00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:56,396 I hate to say it, but it appears 415 00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:58,298 Punxsutawney Phil has been shot. 416 00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:01,267 Ego and Ayo enter as two animal control people. 417 00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:03,303 -All right, chill. -Chill, everybody, chill. 418 00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:06,039 Everybody's chill. We've neutralized the rodent. 419 00:20:06,139 --> 00:20:07,507 What? Oh, my God. 420 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,442 Did you two shoot Punxsutawney Phil? 421 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,311 Who the hell is Phil? We shot a rat. 422 00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:13,179 How do they not know about Groundhog's Day? 423 00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:14,881 Like, have they never seen the movie? 424 00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:17,784 That movie where that guy lives the same day over and over? 425 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,085 Never seen it. 426 00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:20,453 But that happened to me once. 427 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,522 What? What do you mean that happened to you? 428 00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:25,191 One time, I kept waking up and it just kept being Tuesday. 429 00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:27,394 But it turns out it was because I had rabies 430 00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:29,929 and was sleeping 144 hours a night. 431 00:20:30,030 --> 00:20:31,664 And dump it. 432 00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:33,600 Okay. 433 00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:36,703 That new stuff feels good. 434 00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:39,372 I feel like Molly needs a new joke at the top. 435 00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,474 Um... 436 00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:44,244 Did the Heidi and Michael stuff work? 437 00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:45,645 It didn't feel like it. 438 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:49,949 Like, it worked, but I don't trust it enough 439 00:20:50,050 --> 00:20:52,118 to believe it'll work again. 440 00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:53,386 Yeah. 441 00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:56,056 The worst is when we haven't 442 00:20:56,156 --> 00:20:58,425 fully settled on an idea. 443 00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:00,660 Like, even right now, yeah, we're kind of like... 444 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,830 -In between. -...is this a viable sketch? 445 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,098 In between ideas. 446 00:21:05,198 --> 00:21:06,666 And it's... 447 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:07,934 12:12. 448 00:21:09,202 --> 00:21:11,137 So it could be a late one. 449 00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:13,773 I feel like I have not written one word. 450 00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:16,476 And I have, like, you know, there's some drafts going. 451 00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:18,378 -But it's like-- -Yeah, I feel behind. 452 00:21:18,478 --> 00:21:20,680 I feel so behind, and that's my feeling on Tuesday. 453 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,049 It's like the dread of being behind. 454 00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:25,352 Oh, my God, I have such crazy B.O. 455 00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:27,687 The cameras can't smell that. 456 00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:30,123 Just say you smell good. 457 00:21:30,557 --> 00:21:32,325 - Okay. - Most of the time, 458 00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:34,361 it's like a slog where it's like, 459 00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:36,496 I'm not even really doing my best comedy. 460 00:21:36,596 --> 00:21:39,899 It's just like, okay, the first funny line 461 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:40,734 that I can think of. 462 00:21:40,834 --> 00:21:42,902 Maybe it's like, there's your first clue. 463 00:21:43,003 --> 00:21:44,104 Or rat-a-tat-tat. 464 00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:47,073 The details are flooding out of you, 465 00:21:47,173 --> 00:21:49,009 yet you can't remember my face? 466 00:21:49,109 --> 00:21:50,910 Yeah, he's like... 467 00:21:51,011 --> 00:21:52,012 What's "Rat-a-tat-tat"? 468 00:21:52,112 --> 00:21:55,148 It's like, oh, I'm hearing all this misinformation. 469 00:21:55,248 --> 00:21:57,384 Rat-a-tat-tat. 470 00:21:58,718 --> 00:22:00,520 Can you give it an "oh"? 471 00:22:00,620 --> 00:22:02,689 -Oh, rat-a-tat-tat. -Rat-a-tat-tat. 472 00:22:02,789 --> 00:22:05,425 It's like you remember everything but me. 473 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,462 I think that could actually work. 474 00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:13,166 -Oh... -Rat-a-tat-tat. 475 00:22:13,266 --> 00:22:14,401 Uh-oh! 476 00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:16,369 He has a new catchphrase 477 00:22:16,469 --> 00:22:18,405 and it's "Rat-a-tat-tat." 478 00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:19,973 So this is in really good shape. 479 00:22:20,073 --> 00:22:22,475 Yeah, this is feeling really, really good. 480 00:22:22,575 --> 00:22:24,411 Whatever. 481 00:22:24,511 --> 00:22:26,246 Most writing isn't like this. 482 00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:27,981 Like, most writing takes time. 483 00:22:28,081 --> 00:22:29,616 And part of it is, like, 484 00:22:29,716 --> 00:22:32,452 there's time between when you write it and when people see it. 485 00:22:32,552 --> 00:22:34,521 And here, there is not that much time. 486 00:22:34,621 --> 00:22:37,624 It's like, whatever I'm writing here is, like, 487 00:22:37,724 --> 00:22:39,926 it's gonna be said out loud tomorrow 488 00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:41,227 to other people. 489 00:22:41,327 --> 00:22:42,729 And that's, like... 490 00:22:43,396 --> 00:22:46,633 terrifying, but pretty, like... 491 00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:51,204 addictive part of the job. 492 00:23:08,922 --> 00:23:10,023 Yo, Frank. 493 00:23:10,123 --> 00:23:12,926 Frank, like, where it's at right now is perfect. 494 00:23:18,331 --> 00:23:20,000 Yo, speed it up. 495 00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:25,338 I only slept, like, two hours, you know, so... 496 00:23:25,438 --> 00:23:29,042 brain's not firing too hot right now. 497 00:23:29,142 --> 00:23:30,477 And I'm sure I look amazing. 498 00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:33,279 I'm so glad you guys are here filming today. 499 00:23:33,380 --> 00:23:35,482 I did take a shower, so there's that. 500 00:23:35,582 --> 00:23:36,983 Marcello... 501 00:23:37,317 --> 00:23:40,220 * Feeling in my body * 502 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:41,688 * Can't stop the feeling * 503 00:23:41,788 --> 00:23:44,357 * I got this feeling in my body * 504 00:23:44,991 --> 00:23:47,627 Isn't it fun to see what everybody worked on last night? 505 00:23:47,727 --> 00:23:49,829 I'm excited to hear everybody else's pitches. 506 00:23:50,764 --> 00:23:54,601 We're gonna read between 35 and 40. 507 00:23:54,701 --> 00:23:57,070 Some will do great, I'm sure. 508 00:23:57,170 --> 00:23:58,204 Some will not. 509 00:23:59,973 --> 00:24:03,176 I think we'll know which ones do great and which ones don't. 510 00:24:11,351 --> 00:24:12,786 High school auditorium. 511 00:24:12,886 --> 00:24:14,788 Mikey's a teacher at a podium. 512 00:24:14,888 --> 00:24:17,791 Welcome back to the Madison High geography bee, 513 00:24:17,891 --> 00:24:20,527 where we put the "fee" in "geography" 514 00:24:20,627 --> 00:24:23,596 because you had to pay to participate. 515 00:24:24,030 --> 00:24:25,398 That's my joke. 516 00:24:25,498 --> 00:24:27,133 It's a little nerve-racking 517 00:24:27,233 --> 00:24:30,070 because you've never heard your sketch read out loud before. 518 00:24:30,170 --> 00:24:32,305 And there's a real, um, 519 00:24:32,405 --> 00:24:34,808 you know, crapshoot element to it. 520 00:24:35,475 --> 00:24:38,011 When I was there, it was insane. 521 00:24:38,111 --> 00:24:41,581 We used to always do the table read in the writers' room. 522 00:24:41,681 --> 00:24:44,951 You just sit there packed in a hot room 523 00:24:45,051 --> 00:24:48,188 for five hours and go through every sketch. 524 00:24:49,189 --> 00:24:50,156 It was like heart surgery. 525 00:24:50,256 --> 00:24:52,592 Everyone's looking in the center of the table. 526 00:24:53,026 --> 00:24:54,694 With me tonight, Santa Claus. 527 00:24:54,794 --> 00:24:57,464 You know him from the toys and the reindeer, 528 00:24:57,564 --> 00:24:59,666 but now out this week, the definitive edition 529 00:24:59,766 --> 00:25:01,434 of Santa's pornographic work, 530 00:25:01,534 --> 00:25:03,470 "Santa, Two Lumps of Coal: Uncut." 531 00:25:06,906 --> 00:25:08,475 Wednesday morning, 532 00:25:08,575 --> 00:25:09,943 having been awake all night, 533 00:25:10,043 --> 00:25:14,014 I was like filled with excitement and expectation. 534 00:25:14,114 --> 00:25:17,917 I cared so much about how I did at the table. 535 00:25:18,985 --> 00:25:21,588 And those moments that were explosive at the table 536 00:25:21,688 --> 00:25:24,357 are fonder memories than how it played 537 00:25:24,457 --> 00:25:25,658 at dress or on the live show. 538 00:25:26,059 --> 00:25:28,194 I think that's the cool thing 539 00:25:28,294 --> 00:25:29,596 about the creative process, 540 00:25:29,696 --> 00:25:31,731 is that if everyone knew mathematically 541 00:25:31,831 --> 00:25:33,533 how to create a perfect sketch, 542 00:25:33,633 --> 00:25:35,035 it would just be a science. 543 00:25:35,135 --> 00:25:37,604 And it really is a little bit, like, unpredictable. 544 00:25:37,704 --> 00:25:39,739 Welcome back to Miss Irish Rose, 545 00:25:39,839 --> 00:25:42,575 the beauty pageant where we crown the most kindhearted, 546 00:25:42,676 --> 00:25:44,077 gorgeous girl in all the land. 547 00:25:44,177 --> 00:25:47,347 The prize this year will be the brand-new iPhone 8. 548 00:25:47,747 --> 00:25:49,049 But sometimes, 549 00:25:49,149 --> 00:25:51,351 the thing that was cracking us up, like, 550 00:25:51,451 --> 00:25:53,453 it's read out loud and it's like, 551 00:25:53,553 --> 00:25:55,789 it's bone-chilling, it's silence. 552 00:25:57,657 --> 00:25:59,693 If the first two pages aren't working, 553 00:25:59,793 --> 00:26:03,496 there is a optimism from everybody else 554 00:26:03,930 --> 00:26:05,165 where they're thinking, "You know what? 555 00:26:05,265 --> 00:26:07,167 Maybe this third page is when it takes off." 556 00:26:07,267 --> 00:26:10,737 But you wrote it, and you knew that in order for it to work, 557 00:26:10,837 --> 00:26:12,872 they had to already be laughing. 558 00:26:12,972 --> 00:26:14,674 It's not gonna get any better. 559 00:26:14,774 --> 00:26:17,210 And the amount I wanted to stand up and say, 560 00:26:17,310 --> 00:26:18,778 "We can just move on." 561 00:26:18,878 --> 00:26:22,382 I'm telling you right now, "Uncle, uncle." 562 00:26:22,482 --> 00:26:24,250 When I was there, if that happened, 563 00:26:24,351 --> 00:26:28,688 Paula Pell would usually give you a pity laugh of some kind 564 00:26:28,788 --> 00:26:30,957 so that you wouldn't jump out the window. 565 00:26:33,226 --> 00:26:35,528 And she's a great actor, so they almost sounded real. 566 00:26:35,628 --> 00:26:38,231 Every so often we'd have a writer that laughs 567 00:26:38,331 --> 00:26:39,666 only at their own stuff, 568 00:26:39,766 --> 00:26:41,568 and that used to burn my ass so bad. 569 00:26:41,668 --> 00:26:43,636 I always respected people who would laugh 570 00:26:43,737 --> 00:26:45,271 at other people's material. 571 00:26:45,372 --> 00:26:49,776 It was sort of like some eras, there was less of that. 572 00:26:51,344 --> 00:26:53,947 In later years, there was, like, factions. 573 00:26:54,047 --> 00:26:55,915 There would be people who would be 574 00:26:56,016 --> 00:26:59,986 aggressively supportive of stuff that either they worked on, 575 00:27:00,086 --> 00:27:01,988 or that their good buddies worked on. 576 00:27:02,088 --> 00:27:05,425 And then there's a way of aggressively not laughing, 577 00:27:05,525 --> 00:27:06,993 which is more like... 578 00:27:09,396 --> 00:27:12,966 Andy Breckman had some hilarious writers' prayer, 579 00:27:13,066 --> 00:27:14,901 and it was like, "Dear Lord, uh... 580 00:27:15,535 --> 00:27:19,839 please let my sketch kill harder than anyone else's sketch, 581 00:27:19,939 --> 00:27:23,243 but please let me also be perceived as a team player." 582 00:27:25,111 --> 00:27:27,447 Even through everyone at SNL is working together 583 00:27:27,547 --> 00:27:29,649 to make one thing, no, though. 584 00:27:29,749 --> 00:27:31,985 It is built on competition. 585 00:27:32,085 --> 00:27:34,854 It is built for, like, see you at the table. 586 00:27:34,954 --> 00:27:36,723 * What was said? What was said? * 587 00:27:36,823 --> 00:27:38,458 * Who said that? I don't know * 588 00:27:38,558 --> 00:27:40,493 * Who said that? Not me, though * 589 00:27:40,593 --> 00:27:42,529 * Girl, he dead * 590 00:27:42,629 --> 00:27:44,230 * What I said? * 591 00:27:44,831 --> 00:27:46,733 I mean, it's kind of catchy. 592 00:27:46,833 --> 00:27:48,968 - You, picture this. - Me? 593 00:27:49,069 --> 00:27:51,771 - Yeah, you, Little Miss Tits. - Little Miss Tits? 594 00:27:51,871 --> 00:27:54,174 Yeah, Little Miss Tits. Look at me, look at me, ready? 595 00:27:54,274 --> 00:27:56,076 I'm Little Miss Tits, right? I'm Little Miss Tits, 596 00:27:56,176 --> 00:27:59,612 I'm driving my Maz-Mazda 6 thinking I'm freaking invisible. 597 00:27:59,713 --> 00:28:01,114 I don't even have my hands at 10 and 2. 598 00:28:01,214 --> 00:28:03,383 Look, I got one at 6 and one surfing out the window. 599 00:28:05,185 --> 00:28:07,287 John Higgins, California sober. 600 00:28:07,387 --> 00:28:09,255 And this is gay Obama. 601 00:28:10,757 --> 00:28:13,193 Uh, Michelle! I'm gay! 602 00:28:16,396 --> 00:28:17,230 I'll take this one. 603 00:28:17,330 --> 00:28:20,567 Your Honor, I did an extreme ho makeover. 604 00:28:20,667 --> 00:28:22,235 A makeover? 605 00:28:22,335 --> 00:28:24,204 What was the look you were going for? 606 00:28:24,304 --> 00:28:26,673 She came into my salon smelling like two deviled eggs 607 00:28:26,773 --> 00:28:28,274 just ran a train on a falafel. 608 00:28:30,110 --> 00:28:32,112 Charles River in Boston, 609 00:28:32,212 --> 00:28:34,581 inside a Duck Boat on a green screen. 610 00:28:35,215 --> 00:28:39,052 Always nice to be joined by a native Bostonian couple. 611 00:28:39,152 --> 00:28:42,822 A couple? Uh-uh! Yeah, we get out, we look. 612 00:28:42,922 --> 00:28:44,391 But, honey, we're not gay. 613 00:28:44,491 --> 00:28:46,659 After five kids, the way this thing downstairs is torn up, 614 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:48,028 I wish I was gay. 615 00:28:48,128 --> 00:28:51,631 By the way, your dick's out of your pants. 616 00:28:51,731 --> 00:28:53,833 No, it's not. 617 00:28:55,735 --> 00:28:57,370 All right. 618 00:29:01,074 --> 00:29:04,177 This is the longest one of the season so far. 619 00:29:04,911 --> 00:29:08,815 Um, we'll go up to Lorne's office on 17 and... 620 00:29:09,182 --> 00:29:11,751 pick, I don't know, 12? 621 00:29:11,851 --> 00:29:13,386 - Yeah. - Um... 622 00:29:13,887 --> 00:29:16,489 Yeah, and then that's how it goes. 623 00:29:18,992 --> 00:29:20,960 Often, we have a really good table read 624 00:29:21,061 --> 00:29:23,229 where at least half, you know, maybe more, 625 00:29:23,329 --> 00:29:25,398 maybe two-thirds, could work on the show. 626 00:29:25,498 --> 00:29:28,201 But it is a monarchy here, 627 00:29:28,301 --> 00:29:31,871 and ultimately it's Lorne who makes the decisions. 628 00:29:31,971 --> 00:29:33,940 If he really doesn't want to do something, he won't. 629 00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:36,309 And if he really does, we will. 630 00:29:38,545 --> 00:29:42,015 So it's this waiting game where everyone sits around, nervous, 631 00:29:42,115 --> 00:29:46,152 waiting for like, a email or a text about it. 632 00:29:47,821 --> 00:29:50,156 And we wait and wait. 633 00:29:51,057 --> 00:29:52,759 I think it took me a while 634 00:29:52,859 --> 00:29:54,561 to get used to sitting still for that long. 635 00:29:54,661 --> 00:29:56,129 Now it's fine. 636 00:29:56,229 --> 00:29:58,965 I'll usually go downstairs and have an espresso martini 637 00:29:59,065 --> 00:30:02,035 while we wait for the picks. 638 00:30:05,405 --> 00:30:09,609 It's very quiet for, like, an hour and a half, 639 00:30:09,709 --> 00:30:11,244 and then suddenly, you see people 640 00:30:11,344 --> 00:30:13,546 walking along the hallway, you hear more chatter. 641 00:30:15,148 --> 00:30:17,751 - You got the picks? - We got the picks. 642 00:30:17,851 --> 00:30:20,353 Oh, my God. Putting on a damn show. 643 00:30:21,988 --> 00:30:24,424 It's like the smoke from the pope. 644 00:30:24,524 --> 00:30:25,158 Like, the picks are in! 645 00:30:25,258 --> 00:30:27,727 Congratu-fucking-lations. 646 00:30:27,827 --> 00:30:28,995 Yeah, come on over. 647 00:30:29,095 --> 00:30:30,597 You did it, little buddy! 648 00:30:30,697 --> 00:30:32,532 You did it! 649 00:30:32,632 --> 00:30:34,334 Once your sketch got picked, 650 00:30:34,434 --> 00:30:37,037 you would go around to the different departments 651 00:30:37,137 --> 00:30:39,973 because writers are their own producers. 652 00:30:40,073 --> 00:30:43,143 So you take the sketch from the thing you wrote, 653 00:30:43,243 --> 00:30:46,012 and then you are responsible for every aspect of that thing. 654 00:30:46,112 --> 00:30:48,014 Heidi and Keira, come on down. 655 00:30:48,114 --> 00:30:50,116 -Duck Boats? -Duck Boats. 656 00:30:50,216 --> 00:30:53,420 So, like, Heidi and Ayo, they'll be facing out this way 657 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:57,891 as if Troast is standing, like, backward giving the tour. 658 00:30:57,991 --> 00:30:59,959 I think it's one of the reasons why 659 00:31:00,060 --> 00:31:03,663 you see a lot of SNL writers becoming directors 660 00:31:03,763 --> 00:31:05,498 and sort of multifaceted things. 661 00:31:05,598 --> 00:31:07,400 Because we're asked to do all this at that show. 662 00:31:07,500 --> 00:31:10,236 - Kind of like this. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 663 00:31:10,337 --> 00:31:14,040 -You are my French expert. -Yeah, yeah. 664 00:31:14,140 --> 00:31:15,842 Person who creates the piece, 665 00:31:15,942 --> 00:31:17,844 they determine the set, the costumes. 666 00:31:17,944 --> 00:31:19,379 They're in charge of everything. 667 00:31:19,479 --> 00:31:22,182 That's the only way you get pure comedy 668 00:31:22,282 --> 00:31:25,785 that isn't maligned, or edges rounded out, 669 00:31:25,885 --> 00:31:27,420 or corners taken off. 670 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:28,955 So it is truly a voice 671 00:31:29,055 --> 00:31:31,958 between the creator and the audience. 672 00:31:32,058 --> 00:31:34,127 You are fully in charge 673 00:31:34,227 --> 00:31:37,364 of three to four minutes of live network television. 674 00:31:37,464 --> 00:31:38,231 Totally in charge. 675 00:31:38,331 --> 00:31:41,401 NBC had nothing to say about it. Nothing. 676 00:31:41,501 --> 00:31:43,903 And when they did, we'd tell them, "No." 677 00:31:44,004 --> 00:31:45,405 We're, like, 25. 678 00:31:45,505 --> 00:31:47,240 We'd go, "We're doing it. I asked Lorne." 679 00:31:47,340 --> 00:31:49,442 I'm gonna try to copy the textures 680 00:31:49,542 --> 00:31:52,645 because it's the only way we're gonna make it convincing 681 00:31:52,746 --> 00:31:54,280 that it is there. 682 00:31:54,381 --> 00:31:57,083 And maybe one of these types of mics 683 00:31:57,183 --> 00:31:59,219 -for Keenan, the driver. -Sure. 684 00:31:59,319 --> 00:32:00,120 Okay. 685 00:32:00,220 --> 00:32:02,322 And at any point during the week, 686 00:32:02,422 --> 00:32:06,359 if a sketch fails, it's like, people look to the writer. 687 00:32:06,459 --> 00:32:08,962 It's kind of like, "Well, you, as the writer, 688 00:32:09,062 --> 00:32:11,998 should be on it to know why this didn't happen." 689 00:32:12,098 --> 00:32:14,267 So it's definitely a lot of pressure. 690 00:32:14,734 --> 00:32:15,869 Thanks, guys. 691 00:32:15,969 --> 00:32:19,439 It is currently 11:21 692 00:32:19,539 --> 00:32:20,740 on, like, Wednesday. 693 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:22,776 The show is Saturday, you know, 694 00:32:22,876 --> 00:32:24,244 around this time. 695 00:32:24,344 --> 00:32:26,680 And so we have only a few days. 696 00:32:26,780 --> 00:32:28,381 So it's gonna be tight. 697 00:32:46,299 --> 00:32:48,101 For every new writer, 698 00:32:48,201 --> 00:32:50,070 the quickest thing they learn is, 699 00:32:50,170 --> 00:32:53,573 that it's not done when they press "print." 700 00:32:55,175 --> 00:32:58,311 The whole process of SNL is such a writing 701 00:32:58,411 --> 00:33:00,847 and rewriting and rewriting process. 702 00:33:01,147 --> 00:33:03,850 You know, we write on Tuesday. 703 00:33:03,950 --> 00:33:06,152 We rewrite it on Thursday. 704 00:33:06,252 --> 00:33:08,321 Friday, it's rewritten again. 705 00:33:08,421 --> 00:33:11,925 And on Saturday, it's rewritten again. 706 00:33:12,025 --> 00:33:15,328 So in that very limited four-day window, 707 00:33:15,428 --> 00:33:17,564 it's rewritten at least four times. 708 00:33:21,668 --> 00:33:23,136 Thank you. 709 00:33:23,236 --> 00:33:26,406 On Thursdays, that's our big rewrite day. 710 00:33:26,506 --> 00:33:28,875 Rewriting all of the sketches that have been picked 711 00:33:28,975 --> 00:33:30,276 for dress rehearsals. 712 00:33:30,377 --> 00:33:33,513 A couple full rewrites, too, I would say. 713 00:33:33,613 --> 00:33:34,514 All right. 714 00:33:34,614 --> 00:33:36,416 So all of the sketches get split up 715 00:33:36,516 --> 00:33:38,284 between the ninth-floor writers' room 716 00:33:38,385 --> 00:33:40,987 and the 17th-floor writers' room. 717 00:33:41,087 --> 00:33:42,789 And it's largely on the writer, 718 00:33:42,889 --> 00:33:44,257 whoever wrote the sketch 719 00:33:44,357 --> 00:33:47,060 to be able to come to that rewrite table and say, 720 00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:48,628 "Here's what I'm looking for. 721 00:33:48,728 --> 00:33:51,131 I don't think this part worked. I don't think that part worked." 722 00:33:51,231 --> 00:33:53,633 I mean, I don't know. 723 00:33:53,733 --> 00:33:54,968 I truly did laugh at it. 724 00:33:55,068 --> 00:33:56,636 I can't tell if it's one of those things. 725 00:33:56,736 --> 00:33:59,205 Yeah, like they did get some groans, so I feel like 726 00:33:59,305 --> 00:34:00,607 it probably wouldn't play. 727 00:34:00,707 --> 00:34:02,909 Yeah, some of the stuff after she starts doing it 728 00:34:03,009 --> 00:34:04,544 could be a lot shorter. 729 00:34:04,644 --> 00:34:08,148 Yeah, like top of three is the same as top of four. 730 00:34:08,682 --> 00:34:09,582 Okay. 731 00:34:09,683 --> 00:34:11,918 The experience of writing a piece 732 00:34:12,018 --> 00:34:15,321 and then sitting in a rewrite room with all of your co-workers 733 00:34:15,422 --> 00:34:18,291 dissecting it could be a little daunting. 734 00:34:18,391 --> 00:34:20,260 You have to develop a thick skin, put it that way. 735 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,096 I don't think everybody has a thick skin at first, but you have to develop one. 736 00:34:23,196 --> 00:34:25,799 What you learn when you are writing 737 00:34:25,899 --> 00:34:27,701 under those circumstances 738 00:34:27,801 --> 00:34:29,502 is that nothing is sacred. 739 00:34:30,070 --> 00:34:33,473 Nothing that you've written is that good 740 00:34:33,573 --> 00:34:36,609 that it can't be changed if need be. 741 00:34:38,244 --> 00:34:40,013 I have to say, as head writer, 742 00:34:40,113 --> 00:34:42,282 I felt like I came in from Chicago 743 00:34:42,382 --> 00:34:43,917 and I was ready to fight whoever. 744 00:34:45,318 --> 00:34:47,821 But the rewrite tables were tough. 745 00:34:47,921 --> 00:34:49,022 They were grouchy. 746 00:34:49,456 --> 00:34:50,857 People would take the run-down of the show 747 00:34:50,957 --> 00:34:53,493 and just go sketch by sketch and, like, make fun of it. 748 00:34:53,593 --> 00:34:56,863 Make fun of the title. Like, goof on it, goof on it. 749 00:34:57,497 --> 00:35:00,000 Like, you would leave the room fully knowing 750 00:35:00,100 --> 00:35:01,301 that that writers' room 751 00:35:01,401 --> 00:35:03,370 was taking a shit on it while you were gone. 752 00:35:03,470 --> 00:35:06,606 And it just was kind of the way it was. 753 00:35:07,374 --> 00:35:09,743 And I don't know if it's the same anymore. 754 00:35:10,710 --> 00:35:11,778 And if it's not, 755 00:35:11,878 --> 00:35:14,681 maybe it should get that way again a little bit. 756 00:35:14,781 --> 00:35:15,815 I think it's good. 757 00:35:18,485 --> 00:35:22,022 I do think that there was some nice, like, symmetry 758 00:35:22,122 --> 00:35:24,324 to their being three secrets. 759 00:35:24,424 --> 00:35:28,428 Like, doing any, like, weird thing she could confess. 760 00:35:28,528 --> 00:35:30,663 She's been selling jewel pods in the bathroom. 761 00:35:32,098 --> 00:35:33,867 My dad is an astronaut. 762 00:35:34,334 --> 00:35:36,603 I've seen over 20 R-rated movies. 763 00:35:37,404 --> 00:35:41,541 Sometimes, you just got to keep working it 764 00:35:41,641 --> 00:35:44,711 and working it until it's what you want it to be. 765 00:35:44,811 --> 00:35:45,612 It's very precise. 766 00:35:45,712 --> 00:35:49,249 There's a rhythm, a musical rhythm to jokes. 767 00:35:49,349 --> 00:35:50,984 You know, you can count your syllables. 768 00:35:51,084 --> 00:35:52,952 It's got to be... 769 00:35:53,053 --> 00:35:54,354 It's got to be exact. 770 00:35:54,454 --> 00:35:56,489 Mitchell, remind everyone of our number. 771 00:35:56,589 --> 00:36:03,363 Our number is 1-672-555-0136. 772 00:36:03,463 --> 00:36:05,832 But, Serena, there's no way to create a catchy jingle 773 00:36:05,932 --> 00:36:08,702 -with a number like that. -That's where you're wrong. 774 00:36:08,802 --> 00:36:10,437 I remember last season, 775 00:36:10,537 --> 00:36:12,439 James Austin Johnson and Andrew Dismukes, 776 00:36:12,539 --> 00:36:15,008 they have like their Soul Booth jingle pitch guys. 777 00:36:15,108 --> 00:36:17,377 We are Soul Booth. 778 00:36:17,911 --> 00:36:19,112 And they're here to save us. 779 00:36:19,212 --> 00:36:21,348 Worked out a few demos for y'all. 780 00:36:21,448 --> 00:36:23,016 They played two musicians 781 00:36:23,116 --> 00:36:25,385 pitching a jingle to a company. 782 00:36:25,485 --> 00:36:27,620 And it was just gonna be their phone number, 783 00:36:27,721 --> 00:36:29,923 and they sing it in this ridiculous, 784 00:36:30,023 --> 00:36:31,624 you know, soulful way. 785 00:36:31,725 --> 00:36:33,460 * 875-772 * 786 00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:36,196 And so, I was at that rewrite table, 787 00:36:36,296 --> 00:36:37,997 and when I tell you we spent, like, 788 00:36:38,098 --> 00:36:42,369 30 to 45 minutes straight-up having to figure out the number. 789 00:36:42,469 --> 00:36:44,371 We had a long discussion about which numbers 790 00:36:44,471 --> 00:36:46,106 were the funniest, you know. 791 00:36:46,206 --> 00:36:48,174 Seven, three. What's best here? 792 00:36:48,274 --> 00:36:49,709 * 360055... * 793 00:36:49,809 --> 00:36:52,412 Like, what is the funniest take on a number? 794 00:36:52,512 --> 00:36:54,714 Is it better to land on a three? 795 00:36:54,814 --> 00:36:56,282 And, uh, you know, 796 00:36:56,383 --> 00:36:58,451 you run out of runway after a little while 797 00:36:58,551 --> 00:37:00,487 talking about that, but it... 798 00:37:00,587 --> 00:37:02,288 At the same time, it does matter. 799 00:37:02,389 --> 00:37:04,224 It actually really does. 800 00:37:04,324 --> 00:37:05,792 * Come on * 801 00:37:06,292 --> 00:37:10,096 * 16 trillion, 725 million * 802 00:37:10,196 --> 00:37:12,665 * 550,000 * 803 00:37:12,766 --> 00:37:14,234 * 136 * 804 00:37:14,334 --> 00:37:16,269 One more time. That feels so good. 805 00:37:16,369 --> 00:37:19,839 * 16 trillion, 725 million * 806 00:37:19,939 --> 00:37:22,075 * 550,000 * 807 00:37:22,175 --> 00:37:24,411 * 136 * 808 00:37:25,145 --> 00:37:27,681 So, what do you think? 809 00:37:28,748 --> 00:37:31,618 See, if you were to walk past us that day, you were like, 810 00:37:31,718 --> 00:37:33,820 "What is going on at SNL? Are they okay?" 811 00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:35,055 Everybody! 812 00:37:35,155 --> 00:37:36,256 * 16 trillion * 813 00:37:36,356 --> 00:37:38,491 * 725 million... * 814 00:37:41,061 --> 00:37:44,264 Silly, alcohol's not a drug. 815 00:37:44,364 --> 00:37:46,833 It's sold in stores. 816 00:37:48,902 --> 00:37:50,303 Okay. 817 00:37:50,403 --> 00:37:52,639 We got a note from Betzy on it. 818 00:37:53,073 --> 00:37:55,008 Excuse me? 819 00:37:55,108 --> 00:37:57,010 Glorifying drugs. 820 00:37:57,110 --> 00:37:59,579 What the fuck? 821 00:38:01,181 --> 00:38:03,016 There's a person named Betzy Torres, 822 00:38:03,116 --> 00:38:04,117 who's our censor. 823 00:38:05,051 --> 00:38:09,489 And her job is to read and listen to all the sketches 824 00:38:09,589 --> 00:38:11,691 at read through and kind of flag anything 825 00:38:11,791 --> 00:38:14,527 that could be a problem for the network, 826 00:38:14,627 --> 00:38:17,430 or advertisers, or anything like that. 827 00:38:18,698 --> 00:38:22,202 As the SNL standards executive, 828 00:38:22,302 --> 00:38:25,839 I need to review content, um, 829 00:38:26,373 --> 00:38:27,440 for everything. 830 00:38:27,540 --> 00:38:30,043 What's kind of problematic. 831 00:38:30,143 --> 00:38:32,012 What seems over the top. 832 00:38:32,112 --> 00:38:33,380 "Delete 'dick.'" 833 00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,249 - "Delete 'dick'"? - Wait, what was it? 834 00:38:36,349 --> 00:38:38,451 "Minimize gay mentions and delete 'dick.'" 835 00:38:38,918 --> 00:38:40,987 "We have tonnage concerns regarding language." 836 00:38:41,087 --> 00:38:43,723 "'Gay,' 'bitch,' 'ass,' 'balls,' 'dump,' et cetera." 837 00:38:43,823 --> 00:38:44,557 So... 838 00:38:44,657 --> 00:38:46,593 There was a lot of bitches. 839 00:38:47,827 --> 00:38:51,464 I try to make sure that we're not having, like, 840 00:38:51,564 --> 00:38:54,934 20 "bitches" or "asses" in one show, 841 00:38:55,035 --> 00:38:58,238 that we kind of figure out that we've got to, 842 00:38:58,338 --> 00:38:59,773 you know, tone it down. 843 00:38:59,873 --> 00:39:01,841 I think we have a good working relationship 844 00:39:01,941 --> 00:39:04,411 as far as good as people who yell at each other 845 00:39:04,511 --> 00:39:06,746 sometimes can have. 846 00:39:06,846 --> 00:39:09,416 Some writers don't want to change what they've written. 847 00:39:09,516 --> 00:39:12,318 And some of them are pissed off at me. 848 00:39:12,419 --> 00:39:15,422 Um, but it's not personal. It's professional. 849 00:39:15,522 --> 00:39:20,060 Her job is to kind of have a dirty mind 850 00:39:20,593 --> 00:39:22,529 where it's like, you know, 851 00:39:22,629 --> 00:39:24,030 looking for that stuff. 852 00:39:24,130 --> 00:39:26,099 And sometimes, she'll find it when it's not there. 853 00:39:26,199 --> 00:39:30,103 You'll be like, Betzy, you think we're describing some sex act? 854 00:39:30,203 --> 00:39:31,671 No, we're not. 855 00:39:31,771 --> 00:39:34,407 We're just literally saying, like, a glazed donut. 856 00:39:34,507 --> 00:39:36,076 That's it. We're not-- You know? 857 00:39:36,176 --> 00:39:38,712 Every once in a while for the censors, sometimes, 858 00:39:38,812 --> 00:39:41,648 we put in something that was, uh... 859 00:39:41,748 --> 00:39:44,718 We knew they'd have to cut in order to get something 860 00:39:44,818 --> 00:39:47,020 that we were afraid they would cut. 861 00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:48,988 So we were actually... 862 00:39:50,290 --> 00:39:52,125 really aiming at this target, 863 00:39:52,559 --> 00:39:54,594 but we give them this target, 864 00:39:54,694 --> 00:39:57,263 and they go like, "You can't do that." 865 00:39:57,364 --> 00:39:59,132 And then we go, "What do you mean?" 866 00:39:59,232 --> 00:40:00,533 Argue, argue, argue. 867 00:40:00,633 --> 00:40:02,402 "Okay, but can we do that?" 868 00:40:02,502 --> 00:40:03,536 "Oh, yeah." 869 00:40:03,636 --> 00:40:05,872 My human trick I used to do 870 00:40:05,972 --> 00:40:08,408 in the writers' room is just bleep myself out 871 00:40:08,508 --> 00:40:10,110 so I'll show you my trick. 872 00:40:10,944 --> 00:40:15,548 Listen, I know that some people loved SNL, they hated SNL. 873 00:40:15,648 --> 00:40:19,285 Um, and, you know, if you hated it, you can... 874 00:40:24,424 --> 00:40:26,659 That was me bleeping myself. 875 00:40:46,646 --> 00:40:48,081 Down low, go ahead. 876 00:40:50,216 --> 00:40:51,785 All right, all yours. 877 00:40:51,885 --> 00:40:55,088 On Fridays, sets are built. 878 00:40:55,822 --> 00:40:58,158 That's kind of miraculous, the way those sets go up. 879 00:40:58,258 --> 00:40:59,693 So quickly. 880 00:40:59,793 --> 00:41:02,529 They're putting it up, and doing the rough blocking, 881 00:41:02,629 --> 00:41:04,397 and starting to mount the show. 882 00:41:06,866 --> 00:41:08,835 All right, here we go. Stand by. 883 00:41:09,536 --> 00:41:11,905 Ah! Ah! 884 00:41:12,005 --> 00:41:13,406 I am bisexual! 885 00:41:15,275 --> 00:41:17,377 Oh, my God. 886 00:41:17,477 --> 00:41:20,246 What have you made me say? 887 00:41:20,847 --> 00:41:23,149 This is the first time you're hearing people 888 00:41:23,249 --> 00:41:24,250 stand and say lines. 889 00:41:24,351 --> 00:41:26,252 So that first blocking time 890 00:41:26,353 --> 00:41:29,089 becomes very important. 891 00:41:31,725 --> 00:41:33,727 Blocking is when you figure out 892 00:41:33,827 --> 00:41:36,096 where your shots are gonna be and, you know, 893 00:41:36,196 --> 00:41:38,598 where the cast are gonna stand, where their marks are. 894 00:41:38,698 --> 00:41:42,102 I need-- Also, you could go, "See what I mean?" 895 00:41:42,202 --> 00:41:43,370 And then like... 896 00:41:43,470 --> 00:41:44,571 You're gonna be like... 897 00:41:44,671 --> 00:41:46,239 - So then it's like this? - Yeah. 898 00:41:46,339 --> 00:41:48,708 And every step along the way 899 00:41:48,808 --> 00:41:51,745 was another step in the writing process. 900 00:41:51,845 --> 00:41:54,047 What if he was like, "I'll go with chamomile. 901 00:41:54,147 --> 00:41:57,083 I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. I used to do stand-up." 902 00:41:57,183 --> 00:41:58,418 Like, switch. 903 00:41:58,518 --> 00:42:00,020 - Yup. - Yeah. 904 00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:01,988 I'll order chamomile. I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. 905 00:42:02,088 --> 00:42:03,690 -I used to do stand-up. -That's great. 906 00:42:03,790 --> 00:42:05,058 We'll see how that goes. 907 00:42:05,158 --> 00:42:07,794 At Saturday Night Live, in addition to writing sketches, 908 00:42:07,894 --> 00:42:10,897 you also gives notes to the performers. 909 00:42:10,997 --> 00:42:13,633 - From the top again. - From the top. 910 00:42:13,733 --> 00:42:17,504 The hosts are sometimes, Oscar Award-winning actors. 911 00:42:17,604 --> 00:42:18,972 It can be a weird dynamic, 912 00:42:19,072 --> 00:42:22,075 having, like, some 25-year-old kid 913 00:42:22,175 --> 00:42:24,377 be like, "Dude, you're not doing it right." 914 00:42:24,477 --> 00:42:26,546 Yeah. 915 00:42:27,113 --> 00:42:30,250 Oh, the host is De Niro and I have to go tell them 916 00:42:30,350 --> 00:42:31,651 an acting note? 917 00:42:32,385 --> 00:42:33,853 And you just are like, 918 00:42:33,953 --> 00:42:36,656 "I can't believe I'm sitting here talking to you about this." 919 00:42:36,756 --> 00:42:38,792 -Seth, how are you? -Good, how are you? 920 00:42:38,892 --> 00:42:42,662 Just all these famous people. 921 00:42:43,630 --> 00:42:45,231 All right. 922 00:42:45,732 --> 00:42:47,133 Nice to meet you. 923 00:42:48,635 --> 00:42:50,303 How you doing? 924 00:42:51,071 --> 00:42:54,607 If you come in and you're new to all of it, 925 00:42:54,708 --> 00:42:56,276 it's fucking terrifying. 926 00:42:57,811 --> 00:43:01,214 I think possibly my first week as a writer, 927 00:43:01,314 --> 00:43:02,849 Sylvester Stallone was the host. 928 00:43:02,949 --> 00:43:04,784 And the note came back, and it was like, 929 00:43:04,884 --> 00:43:06,619 "Tell him he needs to annunciate more. 930 00:43:06,720 --> 00:43:07,921 We can't understand him." 931 00:43:08,021 --> 00:43:10,523 So, how do you think I'm doing? I mean... 932 00:43:10,623 --> 00:43:12,959 You're stinkin' up the joint, Rock! 933 00:43:13,059 --> 00:43:15,228 The writer I was working with who was more experienced, 934 00:43:15,328 --> 00:43:16,696 he was like, "Okay, go do it." 935 00:43:16,796 --> 00:43:18,598 And sometimes, you'd see these actors, like, 936 00:43:18,698 --> 00:43:20,867 with their shades go down on their eyes, 937 00:43:20,967 --> 00:43:22,635 like, "Don't give me a fucking line reading." 938 00:43:22,736 --> 00:43:24,904 But it's a great trial by fire. 939 00:43:25,005 --> 00:43:26,973 Mr. Stallone was very nice about it. 940 00:43:27,073 --> 00:43:28,775 Clearly not the first time in his life 941 00:43:28,875 --> 00:43:29,809 he had received that note. 942 00:43:29,909 --> 00:43:31,578 He was like, "Okay, yeah. 943 00:43:31,678 --> 00:43:33,613 You can't understand me? I got it." 944 00:43:33,713 --> 00:43:36,082 He was great. He killed it. 945 00:43:36,182 --> 00:43:38,952 All right, we're gonna clean it up now. 946 00:43:39,052 --> 00:43:40,987 Can you show me a three shot with Chloe in the middle? 947 00:43:41,521 --> 00:43:44,591 The control room is where you're seeing for the first time 948 00:43:44,691 --> 00:43:46,693 what people are gonna be seeing at home. 949 00:43:46,793 --> 00:43:48,695 You're not experiencing it like a play. 950 00:43:48,795 --> 00:43:51,698 Okay, can you please let me do the tour? 951 00:43:53,767 --> 00:43:55,835 I think a little bit faster. 952 00:43:55,935 --> 00:43:58,672 -You want it a little faster? -Yeah, just a little bit. 953 00:43:58,772 --> 00:44:00,373 -A tenth. Yeah, yeah. -Okay. 954 00:44:00,774 --> 00:44:02,976 That's the scariest part. 955 00:44:03,076 --> 00:44:06,579 You're giving notes to a control room 956 00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:09,182 often, speaking for myself, poorly. 957 00:44:09,282 --> 00:44:12,052 And then I didn't-- I couldn't articulate always 958 00:44:12,152 --> 00:44:15,689 how I wanted us to cut from this camera to that camera. 959 00:44:15,789 --> 00:44:17,157 So I'd have to, you know, be like, 960 00:44:17,257 --> 00:44:19,292 "You know that thing where it's like... 961 00:44:19,392 --> 00:44:22,595 Like, huh, what?" Like, you know, just trying to-- 962 00:44:22,696 --> 00:44:24,898 To being so un-technical and so imprecise 963 00:44:24,998 --> 00:44:29,402 trying to explain something to these professionals. 964 00:44:31,771 --> 00:44:33,573 On Friday, I would typically 965 00:44:33,673 --> 00:44:36,676 just try to hide as much as I could 966 00:44:36,776 --> 00:44:39,279 from authority figures. 967 00:44:39,979 --> 00:44:43,149 I got really good at knowing which bathrooms 968 00:44:43,249 --> 00:44:44,351 I had access to. 969 00:44:44,451 --> 00:44:45,685 And I'd go in there 970 00:44:45,785 --> 00:44:47,620 five to ten times a day 971 00:44:47,721 --> 00:44:50,023 and ignore the chatter in the hallway 972 00:44:50,123 --> 00:44:52,726 about the screwed-up blocking in my sketch, 973 00:44:52,826 --> 00:44:55,762 and hope that other people would fix the problems. 974 00:44:55,862 --> 00:44:58,798 That was sort of my Friday schedule. 975 00:45:01,801 --> 00:45:03,703 Hey. What's up? How are you? 976 00:45:03,803 --> 00:45:06,272 Want to see the brain thing? 977 00:45:06,373 --> 00:45:07,240 Yes! 978 00:45:08,708 --> 00:45:10,243 Oh, that looks great. 979 00:45:10,343 --> 00:45:13,380 We're still gonna paint it all up and bloody it on the sides. 980 00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:14,781 -Okay. -You like it? 981 00:45:14,881 --> 00:45:16,950 -Yeah. -You want it bigger than that? 982 00:45:17,050 --> 00:45:19,185 Can we do a little bigger? I think it'll be... 983 00:45:19,285 --> 00:45:21,488 We can make one that will have a wig... 984 00:45:21,588 --> 00:45:22,989 Like, one that's like this part 985 00:45:23,089 --> 00:45:24,791 can be, like, probably the size of this. 986 00:45:24,891 --> 00:45:27,660 I'm still learning my style, 987 00:45:27,761 --> 00:45:30,430 but it tends to be really crazy stuff. 988 00:45:30,530 --> 00:45:31,998 Anything with a special effect. 989 00:45:32,098 --> 00:45:35,035 They told me not to write two people standing around. 990 00:45:36,202 --> 00:45:37,804 We'll make one more that's a little bigger, 991 00:45:37,904 --> 00:45:39,706 and we'll see which one fits better, 992 00:45:39,806 --> 00:45:41,841 but basically, that same kind of style... 993 00:45:41,941 --> 00:45:44,010 I just want it to read on camera. 994 00:45:44,110 --> 00:45:45,645 So we'll make it even twice as big. 995 00:45:45,745 --> 00:45:47,814 -All right, thank you. -Awesome. 996 00:45:47,914 --> 00:45:49,716 - Thank you. - Thank you. 997 00:45:49,816 --> 00:45:51,718 Usually, we deal with the writers. 998 00:45:51,818 --> 00:45:53,653 They'll come up with the idea and they'll say, 999 00:45:53,753 --> 00:45:54,988 "We want to do this." 1000 00:45:55,088 --> 00:45:57,323 I think in my 30 years I can count on one hand 1001 00:45:57,424 --> 00:45:59,693 how many times I've said, "No, I can't do it." 1002 00:46:00,126 --> 00:46:02,062 And this is all just some of the stuff 1003 00:46:02,162 --> 00:46:04,664 that we've built over the-- In my 30-year tenure. 1004 00:46:04,764 --> 00:46:06,266 Keenan's head... 1005 00:46:07,467 --> 00:46:10,170 that rotated on a drill. 1006 00:46:10,270 --> 00:46:12,005 And then the dragon we had to build 1007 00:46:12,105 --> 00:46:14,107 when we did a Game of Thrones sketch, 1008 00:46:14,207 --> 00:46:16,576 and we had one night to build a dragon. 1009 00:46:16,676 --> 00:46:18,144 And I keep all my severed heads 1010 00:46:18,244 --> 00:46:20,980 because they'll call me that morning and say, 1011 00:46:21,081 --> 00:46:23,283 "You don't have a Mikey Day severed head?" 1012 00:46:23,383 --> 00:46:25,518 And I just happen to have a Mikey Day severed head 1013 00:46:25,618 --> 00:46:26,720 just laying around. 1014 00:46:26,820 --> 00:46:29,022 You never know when they need it. 1015 00:46:29,122 --> 00:46:31,091 Unfortunately, a lot of this stuff gets cut. 1016 00:46:31,991 --> 00:46:34,394 The war machine suit got cut. 1017 00:46:34,494 --> 00:46:35,962 Shape of Water got cut. 1018 00:46:36,529 --> 00:46:39,799 We did it for dress, but it didn't do well at dress, 1019 00:46:39,899 --> 00:46:41,067 so then they cut the sketch. 1020 00:46:41,167 --> 00:46:43,837 So all that work, two days worth of work, 1021 00:46:43,937 --> 00:46:45,505 and then the sketch gets cut. 1022 00:47:01,921 --> 00:47:03,890 -Hi, Martin. -Hey. 1023 00:47:03,990 --> 00:47:05,759 Are you going up? 1024 00:47:05,859 --> 00:47:07,260 Yeah. 1025 00:47:08,094 --> 00:47:09,929 Were you there? How late were you there? 1026 00:47:10,030 --> 00:47:11,731 I was there till, like, 4:00. 1027 00:47:11,831 --> 00:47:12,932 Same. 1028 00:47:13,033 --> 00:47:15,735 So we have our studio here, 8H, 1029 00:47:15,835 --> 00:47:17,370 where all the live show happens. 1030 00:47:17,470 --> 00:47:21,141 And then we got a second studio on the Upper West Side, 1031 00:47:21,241 --> 00:47:24,310 and that's where we shoot most of our pre-tapes now. 1032 00:47:24,411 --> 00:47:28,515 We shoot the tapes usually on Friday morning. 1033 00:47:28,615 --> 00:47:29,983 Sometimes Friday night. 1034 00:47:30,083 --> 00:47:32,986 And then you're editing all day Saturday. 1035 00:47:33,086 --> 00:47:36,289 Sometimes truly right up till it airs. 1036 00:47:36,890 --> 00:47:39,459 The director's up there working on it. 1037 00:47:40,026 --> 00:47:41,795 And, like, I just looked at my phone 1038 00:47:41,895 --> 00:47:43,396 and I had six missed calls from him. 1039 00:47:43,496 --> 00:47:46,366 So probably something good's going on. 1040 00:47:47,567 --> 00:47:49,602 -Hi, guys. -Hey. 1041 00:47:50,303 --> 00:47:52,972 I know, and if we don't get out of here soon, 1042 00:47:53,073 --> 00:47:54,307 I'm gonna want to hook up. 1043 00:47:54,407 --> 00:47:56,576 I know, and if we don't get out of here soon, 1044 00:47:56,676 --> 00:47:57,944 I'm gonna want to hook up. 1045 00:47:58,044 --> 00:47:59,713 If we don't get out of here soon, 1046 00:47:59,813 --> 00:48:01,214 I'm gonna want to hook up. 1047 00:48:01,314 --> 00:48:03,950 I like the first one better, but the second is clearer. 1048 00:48:04,050 --> 00:48:05,752 I was just gonna slam it right in 1049 00:48:05,852 --> 00:48:07,354 to hook up with each other. 1050 00:48:07,454 --> 00:48:09,856 Because they're saying the same thing over and over? 1051 00:48:09,956 --> 00:48:11,524 -You don't like that? -No. 1052 00:48:11,624 --> 00:48:14,661 You want me to write them saying something different? 1053 00:48:14,761 --> 00:48:16,396 In the same room too. 1054 00:48:16,496 --> 00:48:20,300 No one here wants to hook up. We are total strangers. 1055 00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,302 We've been in here for, like, two minutes. 1056 00:48:22,402 --> 00:48:24,237 I like that thing of Andrew being like, 1057 00:48:24,337 --> 00:48:26,006 "We've only been in here for two minutes." 1058 00:48:26,106 --> 00:48:27,974 We've been in here for, like, two minutes. 1059 00:48:28,074 --> 00:48:30,543 We've been in here for, like, two minutes. 1060 00:48:30,643 --> 00:48:31,945 Another one. 1061 00:48:32,045 --> 00:48:34,114 We've been in here for, like, two minutes. 1062 00:48:34,214 --> 00:48:37,183 Let's try maybe that one. It feels lighter. 1063 00:48:38,218 --> 00:48:40,086 I'm gonna be late picking my kid up from school. 1064 00:48:40,186 --> 00:48:42,088 I already have to pee. 1065 00:48:42,188 --> 00:48:44,190 I know, and if we don't get out of here soon, 1066 00:48:44,290 --> 00:48:46,192 -I'm gonna want to hook up. -I can't be stuck in here 1067 00:48:46,292 --> 00:48:48,528 or else I'm gonna want to hook up too. 1068 00:48:51,798 --> 00:48:54,234 Can I just look at the ending? 1069 00:48:57,637 --> 00:48:59,673 * Elevator town * 1070 00:48:59,773 --> 00:49:01,775 * Population: us * 1071 00:49:01,875 --> 00:49:04,044 * There's only just one law * 1072 00:49:04,144 --> 00:49:06,579 * You gotta love hooking up * 1073 00:49:07,547 --> 00:49:10,483 I like that. I feel like ending on the performance is nice. 1074 00:49:10,850 --> 00:49:13,286 -Cool. -Also because this was at... 1075 00:49:13,386 --> 00:49:15,622 three in the morning when we got it. 1076 00:49:15,722 --> 00:49:16,956 Here we go! 1077 00:49:19,826 --> 00:49:21,928 We're getting ready to run through the whole show, 1078 00:49:22,028 --> 00:49:24,030 starting at 12:30. 1079 00:49:24,130 --> 00:49:25,932 Then you're making last-minute changes, 1080 00:49:26,032 --> 00:49:27,000 and there's a lot of chaos. 1081 00:49:27,100 --> 00:49:28,101 Filming! 1082 00:49:28,201 --> 00:49:29,736 All right, here we go! 1083 00:49:30,170 --> 00:49:31,371 All right, let's stand by! 1084 00:49:31,471 --> 00:49:33,373 Guys, can we please pay attention? 1085 00:49:33,473 --> 00:49:35,742 Uh, wait, from the very top? 1086 00:49:35,842 --> 00:49:37,310 All right, stand by. 1087 00:49:37,744 --> 00:49:40,880 Saturday's the first time we're seeing our sketch 1088 00:49:40,980 --> 00:49:43,383 produced with a finished set, 1089 00:49:43,483 --> 00:49:46,219 and with costumes and wigs and sound. 1090 00:49:46,319 --> 00:49:49,022 Yeah, look, he just bought me this. 1091 00:49:49,122 --> 00:49:52,459 Okay, and how did you guys meet? 1092 00:49:53,727 --> 00:49:54,928 Pass. 1093 00:49:55,028 --> 00:49:57,497 Okay, all right. Thank you so much. 1094 00:49:57,597 --> 00:50:00,433 I don't know. I don't know that it's working. 1095 00:50:00,533 --> 00:50:03,870 You're trying to cut jokes that don't work, 1096 00:50:03,970 --> 00:50:05,972 write new, better jokes, 1097 00:50:06,072 --> 00:50:08,475 and make sure all the angles and the coverage 1098 00:50:08,575 --> 00:50:10,877 are what you want people at home to be seeing. 1099 00:50:10,977 --> 00:50:13,847 So, uh, Your Honor, look at this. 1100 00:50:13,947 --> 00:50:15,448 Take the bonnet off. Whatever. 1101 00:50:15,548 --> 00:50:17,183 Leave it on, take the bonnet off. 1102 00:50:17,283 --> 00:50:19,919 On 25, when we see Ayo's brain. 1103 00:50:20,020 --> 00:50:22,389 Like, stay on it just a beat longer. 1104 00:50:22,489 --> 00:50:24,624 So, Jenna, note for Ayo. 1105 00:50:24,724 --> 00:50:27,293 - Yeah. - When she exposes her brain, 1106 00:50:27,394 --> 00:50:29,662 can she keep her head turned a little bit longer? 1107 00:50:29,763 --> 00:50:31,831 - Yeah, sure. - Hold on one second. 1108 00:50:31,931 --> 00:50:33,967 Five frame up. Ease in. 1109 00:50:34,067 --> 00:50:36,136 This versus this. 1110 00:50:36,236 --> 00:50:37,737 - Yeah. - This... 1111 00:50:39,839 --> 00:50:42,409 All the writers are like little ducks. 1112 00:50:42,509 --> 00:50:44,244 And you see them above the surface 1113 00:50:44,344 --> 00:50:46,880 and you think they're just gliding and expressionless. 1114 00:50:46,980 --> 00:50:50,784 But if you look under the water, their feet are going like this. 1115 00:50:50,884 --> 00:50:52,085 That's kind of the vibe. 1116 00:50:52,185 --> 00:50:54,954 Like, you just gotta keep it cool. 1117 00:50:55,055 --> 00:50:57,424 But you're freaking out. 1118 00:50:57,524 --> 00:50:59,993 Captain! Peter Pan's coming. 1119 00:51:00,093 --> 00:51:02,529 Your luck's run out, Peter Pan. 1120 00:51:02,629 --> 00:51:04,798 I remember my first season at SNL, 1121 00:51:04,898 --> 00:51:07,434 I wrote a Peter Pan sketch. 1122 00:51:07,534 --> 00:51:08,268 Standby. 1123 00:51:08,368 --> 00:51:11,738 And, uh, Lorne shouted at me. 1124 00:51:11,838 --> 00:51:13,506 "You can see the wires." 1125 00:51:13,606 --> 00:51:16,009 And I thought he was speaking metaphorically 1126 00:51:16,109 --> 00:51:17,377 about the script I had written. 1127 00:51:17,477 --> 00:51:19,746 So I turned to John Lutz and I said, 1128 00:51:19,846 --> 00:51:22,782 "What does that mean, that he can see the wires? 1129 00:51:23,616 --> 00:51:26,553 Does he think the sketch is derivative and formulaic?" 1130 00:51:26,653 --> 00:51:29,689 And he said, "I think it means that he can see the wires." 1131 00:51:30,156 --> 00:51:31,825 Like, the Peter Pan wires. 1132 00:51:32,926 --> 00:51:34,694 Shoot him. Shoot him. 1133 00:51:36,863 --> 00:51:40,400 * I'd rather be a boy than a grumpy old man * 1134 00:51:40,500 --> 00:51:43,937 * Hey, Captain Hook catch me if you can * 1135 00:51:45,038 --> 00:51:48,208 The sketch, by the way, was derivative and formulaic, 1136 00:51:48,308 --> 00:51:52,245 but, um, it was too late to fix that aspect of it. 1137 00:51:53,580 --> 00:51:55,348 All right, let's stand by. 1138 00:51:55,448 --> 00:51:56,649 Saturday run-through, 1139 00:51:56,750 --> 00:52:01,454 like the last day you practice D-Day before actual D-Day. 1140 00:52:01,554 --> 00:52:03,323 You know? Like, all right, everybody. 1141 00:52:03,423 --> 00:52:05,392 We're gonna be on the boats, remember? 1142 00:52:05,492 --> 00:52:07,594 Yay, we're gonna be on the boats and open the boats, 1143 00:52:07,694 --> 00:52:09,162 and they're gonna run on the beach. 1144 00:52:09,262 --> 00:52:10,330 Okay, everything's good. 1145 00:52:10,430 --> 00:52:12,866 And then dress is the actual D-Day. 1146 00:52:12,966 --> 00:52:14,167 Here we go. 1147 00:52:14,267 --> 00:52:16,536 Molly, Keenan, Charlie, 1148 00:52:16,636 --> 00:52:18,738 we're gonna go from the top again. 1149 00:52:18,838 --> 00:52:20,674 For dress rehearsal, 1150 00:52:20,774 --> 00:52:27,013 everybody's kind of like talking to Hair, talking to Costumes, 1151 00:52:27,113 --> 00:52:28,415 looking at the set, 1152 00:52:28,515 --> 00:52:31,151 making new changes that they need to to something. 1153 00:52:31,251 --> 00:52:33,319 So people are pretty much locked in. 1154 00:52:33,420 --> 00:52:36,022 Because now it's game time. 1155 00:52:43,063 --> 00:52:44,364 -Ah! -Whoo-hoo! 1156 00:52:44,464 --> 00:52:46,466 Watch your back. Watch your back. 1157 00:52:46,566 --> 00:52:48,768 And from 8:00 to 10:00 p.m., 1158 00:52:48,868 --> 00:52:53,006 we do the full dress rehearsal in front of a live audience. 1159 00:52:53,106 --> 00:52:55,041 And based on their reactions, 1160 00:52:55,141 --> 00:52:57,043 Lorne decides the order of the sketches 1161 00:52:57,143 --> 00:52:58,778 and which sketches are cut. 1162 00:53:02,315 --> 00:53:05,285 The brutal fairness of the process 1163 00:53:05,385 --> 00:53:07,354 kind of separates the wheat from the chaff. 1164 00:53:07,454 --> 00:53:09,689 Then the dress audience tells you the truth. 1165 00:53:17,697 --> 00:53:21,034 Welcome to SNL season 49 dress rehearsal. 1166 00:53:21,134 --> 00:53:22,702 You guys excited? 1167 00:53:25,338 --> 00:53:27,240 You ever been on TV before? 1168 00:53:27,707 --> 00:53:29,476 That shit's not gonna change tonight. 1169 00:53:29,576 --> 00:53:31,711 It's dress rehearsal. 1170 00:53:33,646 --> 00:53:37,217 This show is longer than the show you would see on TV. 1171 00:53:37,317 --> 00:53:38,885 This is the show that determines the show. 1172 00:53:38,985 --> 00:53:41,654 Everything you're about to see has never been seen before, 1173 00:53:41,755 --> 00:53:44,457 and some of that shit will never be seen again. 1174 00:53:45,125 --> 00:53:47,293 Are you ready? Go! 1175 00:53:50,196 --> 00:53:52,098 Hey, come on! 1176 00:53:52,198 --> 00:53:54,367 * 'Cause my temperature's rising * 1177 00:53:54,467 --> 00:53:56,102 * My feet on the floor * 1178 00:54:00,173 --> 00:54:02,776 So before your sketch, 1179 00:54:02,876 --> 00:54:06,079 people kind of will go down maybe one or two sketches early 1180 00:54:06,613 --> 00:54:09,983 and hang out outside the studio doors and watch the feed. 1181 00:54:10,083 --> 00:54:13,420 And it's like kind of being like on the on-deck circle. 1182 00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:16,923 Like, you know you're about to step up to the plate. 1183 00:54:17,857 --> 00:54:20,894 I mean, I've been here ten years, I still get nervous. 1184 00:54:22,062 --> 00:54:23,730 Is it after this? Good luck. 1185 00:54:24,230 --> 00:54:26,199 Is it herbal or chamomile? 1186 00:54:26,299 --> 00:54:28,702 I couldn't resist. I used to do stand-up. 1187 00:54:29,502 --> 00:54:32,906 So during dress, if your sketch is up, 1188 00:54:33,506 --> 00:54:35,675 you will go and sit with Lorne under the bleachers 1189 00:54:35,775 --> 00:54:37,811 where he sits during dress rehearsal. 1190 00:54:37,911 --> 00:54:40,013 One of the things that you learn really early 1191 00:54:40,113 --> 00:54:41,448 as an SNL writer 1192 00:54:41,548 --> 00:54:44,284 is that nobody really knows with 100% certainty 1193 00:54:44,384 --> 00:54:46,353 what is going to work on Saturday night. 1194 00:54:46,453 --> 00:54:48,688 You know, nobody knows SNL better than Lorne, 1195 00:54:48,788 --> 00:54:51,524 and Lorne has built into his process 1196 00:54:51,624 --> 00:54:54,561 an extra half an hour of material every week 1197 00:54:54,661 --> 00:54:57,397 because he's self-aware enough to know 1198 00:54:57,497 --> 00:55:00,300 that not even he knows what's going to work. 1199 00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:02,369 To sit down next to Lorne Michaels, 1200 00:55:02,469 --> 00:55:04,504 and what this man means for comedy, 1201 00:55:04,604 --> 00:55:06,573 and know that he's gonna watch your thing 1202 00:55:06,673 --> 00:55:10,377 and might have not great things to say to you about it, 1203 00:55:10,477 --> 00:55:13,013 is a terrifying prospect. 1204 00:55:13,113 --> 00:55:14,547 It's pretty nerve-racking. 1205 00:55:14,647 --> 00:55:17,517 And sometimes, he'll turn and say things to you like, 1206 00:55:17,617 --> 00:55:19,452 "Are you proud of this one?" You know? 1207 00:55:19,552 --> 00:55:21,788 Uh, which is pretty tough. 1208 00:55:24,324 --> 00:55:26,126 So you just sit there and go, 1209 00:55:26,226 --> 00:55:27,360 "Jesus... 1210 00:55:28,061 --> 00:55:31,097 let them understand this sketch and let it go good." 1211 00:55:31,197 --> 00:55:32,932 Like, you're honestly praying. 1212 00:55:33,033 --> 00:55:35,402 You're rooting for the audience to laugh at this joke, 1213 00:55:35,502 --> 00:55:36,770 laugh at that joke, 1214 00:55:36,870 --> 00:55:39,639 so my sketch will get into the live show. 1215 00:55:40,340 --> 00:55:42,642 And you can't laugh yourself 1216 00:55:43,543 --> 00:55:45,578 because he knows that trick. 1217 00:55:45,679 --> 00:55:49,215 And, um, so there's somehow the body language... 1218 00:55:53,053 --> 00:55:56,423 I experienced under the bleachers going well, 1219 00:55:56,523 --> 00:55:59,192 and I've also experienced under the bleachers, 1220 00:55:59,292 --> 00:56:01,695 you know, going really bad. 1221 00:56:01,795 --> 00:56:04,431 And I always-- Whenever the latter happens, 1222 00:56:04,531 --> 00:56:06,933 I always kind of want to shoot a look to him 1223 00:56:07,033 --> 00:56:08,234 and just be like, 1224 00:56:08,335 --> 00:56:09,803 "We really thought it was funny." 1225 00:56:09,903 --> 00:56:12,339 You know? We really thought it was funny. 1226 00:56:12,439 --> 00:56:14,174 We, you know? Not just me. 1227 00:56:25,652 --> 00:56:28,521 And that's how it's done. 1228 00:56:32,225 --> 00:56:34,427 So between dress and air, 1229 00:56:34,527 --> 00:56:38,498 Lorne, Steve Higgins, the host, the producers, 1230 00:56:38,598 --> 00:56:40,467 they go upstairs to Lorne's office 1231 00:56:40,567 --> 00:56:42,635 and they pick the show. 1232 00:56:42,736 --> 00:56:45,138 Everybody's going to find out their fate, 1233 00:56:45,238 --> 00:56:46,573 um, by 11:30. 1234 00:56:46,673 --> 00:56:48,541 Um, what got picked and what didn't. 1235 00:56:48,641 --> 00:56:52,078 Um, might be a bloodbath tonight. 1236 00:56:53,713 --> 00:56:56,583 From 10:00 p.m. to 10:45 p.m. 1237 00:56:56,683 --> 00:56:59,719 was often the most stressful 45 minutes of the week 1238 00:56:59,819 --> 00:57:02,655 because you're just kind of waiting again for picks. 1239 00:57:03,123 --> 00:57:05,892 I still have nightmares about the stress of Saturday night. 1240 00:57:05,992 --> 00:57:09,129 I'm sometimes naked, although it varies, 1241 00:57:09,229 --> 00:57:10,730 the degree to which I'm clothed. 1242 00:57:10,830 --> 00:57:13,466 Um, and Lorne is sometimes in the background 1243 00:57:13,566 --> 00:57:15,735 inexplicably riding a horse. 1244 00:57:23,543 --> 00:57:25,345 That was hilarious. 1245 00:57:25,445 --> 00:57:27,013 Yeah, good job. 1246 00:57:29,582 --> 00:57:31,618 So right about 10:30, 1247 00:57:31,718 --> 00:57:34,087 we'll all go meet in the studio. 1248 00:57:35,855 --> 00:57:37,924 And they will wheel in a board 1249 00:57:38,024 --> 00:57:40,326 with note cards of the sketches up. 1250 00:57:40,727 --> 00:57:42,696 And that's the first time that we find out 1251 00:57:42,796 --> 00:57:45,932 the full running order of the show, and what's cut. 1252 00:57:46,032 --> 00:57:48,768 So that's kind of what we're getting ready for. 1253 00:57:51,705 --> 00:57:53,807 Watch your backs, please. 1254 00:57:55,508 --> 00:57:56,776 Here we go! 1255 00:57:58,178 --> 00:58:01,014 - Crap. - No, no, no, no, no. 1256 00:58:01,715 --> 00:58:03,283 Duck Boat. 1257 00:58:03,383 --> 00:58:04,851 Oh. 1258 00:58:05,285 --> 00:58:06,920 Damn. 1259 00:58:07,787 --> 00:58:09,456 All right. 1260 00:58:09,556 --> 00:58:10,657 Here we are. 1261 00:58:10,757 --> 00:58:13,893 Uh, and this set is cleaner. 1262 00:58:13,993 --> 00:58:16,196 But if it can move a little faster, 1263 00:58:16,296 --> 00:58:18,198 it'll all be better, okay. 1264 00:58:18,932 --> 00:58:21,267 Watch your backs, please. 1265 00:58:22,902 --> 00:58:24,671 Which one is this for? 1266 00:58:25,105 --> 00:58:28,875 It's... They just cut the Duck Boat Tour. 1267 00:58:29,876 --> 00:58:32,412 No one sets out to write a bad sketch. 1268 00:58:32,512 --> 00:58:34,014 Sometimes, it just happens. 1269 00:58:34,114 --> 00:58:36,082 And, you know, you've worked as hard as you can, 1270 00:58:36,182 --> 00:58:39,586 but something about the idea is just not clicking. 1271 00:58:39,686 --> 00:58:41,654 And so sometimes when you see it's cut, 1272 00:58:41,755 --> 00:58:44,758 it's like, "Whoo! Okay. 1273 00:58:44,858 --> 00:58:48,128 Good, I'm glad that's not gonna see the light of day." 1274 00:58:48,228 --> 00:58:50,897 And sometimes, it is-- It's devastating. 1275 00:58:51,865 --> 00:58:55,168 You know, there's a million reasons things get cut. 1276 00:58:55,268 --> 00:58:57,604 But, you know, it doesn't make it any less painful 1277 00:58:57,704 --> 00:58:59,406 when you're like, "Well, there goes my week." 1278 00:58:59,506 --> 00:59:01,608 All that-- All that work. 1279 00:59:02,075 --> 00:59:04,544 As a writer, I'm a little bit more like... 1280 00:59:04,644 --> 00:59:06,146 I-I did the best I could 1281 00:59:06,246 --> 00:59:08,715 and I either got the piece where I needed to, 1282 00:59:08,815 --> 00:59:10,817 or I didn't, and it is what it is. 1283 00:59:10,917 --> 00:59:12,952 It didn't get the laughs it needed to. 1284 00:59:13,053 --> 00:59:16,222 It crushed at table, and when it got in front of dress, 1285 00:59:16,322 --> 00:59:17,724 they just didn't care. 1286 00:59:17,824 --> 00:59:19,893 - Or whatever. - Mm-hmm. 1287 00:59:19,993 --> 00:59:22,796 Things getting cut still hurt. I still think about it. 1288 00:59:22,896 --> 00:59:25,031 I still think about how I could have improved it 1289 00:59:25,131 --> 00:59:27,467 or how things could have gone differently. 1290 00:59:27,567 --> 00:59:29,869 Um, I've just learned 1291 00:59:29,969 --> 00:59:31,905 not to attach my ego to it as much. 1292 00:59:32,639 --> 00:59:35,775 All right, you'll feel better if the show is really good 1293 00:59:35,875 --> 00:59:38,011 and people are talking to you about it, 1294 00:59:38,111 --> 00:59:40,914 and you don't have to say and explain anything 1295 00:59:41,014 --> 00:59:43,883 because it sort of stands on its own. 1296 00:59:43,983 --> 00:59:45,552 All right, I'll see you out there. 1297 00:59:51,591 --> 00:59:54,594 So if we just cut, like, four jokes-- 1298 00:59:54,694 --> 00:59:56,196 I mean four lines... 1299 00:59:56,596 --> 00:59:57,931 For the sketches that are in the show, 1300 00:59:58,031 --> 01:00:00,633 people are scrambling to show changes to cast, 1301 01:00:00,734 --> 01:00:01,901 to make sure the cue cards are right, 1302 01:00:02,002 --> 01:00:03,203 to make sure the director knows. 1303 01:00:03,303 --> 01:00:05,739 Just to make sure all the bases are covered 1304 01:00:05,839 --> 01:00:06,740 before we go to air. 1305 01:00:06,840 --> 01:00:08,241 We have 45 minutes. 1306 01:00:13,246 --> 01:00:16,349 We have another Ego line after this Keenan order, 1307 01:00:16,449 --> 01:00:17,784 but it's gonna be off-cam. 1308 01:00:17,884 --> 01:00:19,652 It's fucking terrifying. 1309 01:00:19,753 --> 01:00:21,121 Going up and down the stairs, 1310 01:00:21,221 --> 01:00:23,223 you know, nine to eight, going around to the elevator, 1311 01:00:23,323 --> 01:00:26,526 turn around the other thing, trying to find to give notes 1312 01:00:26,626 --> 01:00:27,961 to cue cards. 1313 01:00:28,061 --> 01:00:30,163 All right, get rid of card nine. 1314 01:00:31,064 --> 01:00:33,733 Get rid of the bottom line that says... 1315 01:00:33,833 --> 01:00:37,637 It's always an absolute panic. 1316 01:00:37,737 --> 01:00:39,305 And you're just thinking, 1317 01:00:39,406 --> 01:00:42,008 "There's no way this is gonna go smoothly 15 minutes from now." 1318 01:00:42,108 --> 01:00:45,045 - Fifteen to the floor. - Fifteen back. 1319 01:00:45,145 --> 01:00:48,915 The fact it's a live show is unbelievable pressure. 1320 01:00:49,816 --> 01:00:54,320 Just the tension level destroyed any fun 1321 01:00:54,421 --> 01:00:56,456 that I might feel. 1322 01:00:57,257 --> 01:00:59,592 A minute thirty back, 20 to the tee. 1323 01:00:59,693 --> 01:01:01,361 Minute twenty-five, 125 back. 1324 01:01:01,461 --> 01:01:03,930 Lorne says we don't go on because we're ready. 1325 01:01:04,030 --> 01:01:05,665 We go on because it's 11:30. 1326 01:01:05,765 --> 01:01:07,767 There's the thing about being live, 1327 01:01:07,867 --> 01:01:10,003 and you know you have to go on and be your best. 1328 01:01:10,103 --> 01:01:12,439 There's something about it that creates an electricity 1329 01:01:12,539 --> 01:01:14,908 and energy that you can't replicate in any other way. 1330 01:01:15,008 --> 01:01:16,743 And everybody can feel it. 1331 01:01:16,843 --> 01:01:19,679 Stand by, guys. Twenty to the tees. 1332 01:01:19,779 --> 01:01:21,748 Two fifteen back. 1333 01:01:21,848 --> 01:01:23,950 What was very, very scary to me 1334 01:01:24,050 --> 01:01:26,619 was watching the audience for the live show 1335 01:01:26,720 --> 01:01:28,888 cued up outside of 8H. 1336 01:01:30,123 --> 01:01:32,459 And now they're playing music. 1337 01:01:34,728 --> 01:01:36,129 And you go, "Okay." 1338 01:01:36,996 --> 01:01:39,366 This is the moment. This is the moment. 1339 01:01:39,466 --> 01:01:40,800 Okay, now it's for real. 1340 01:01:40,900 --> 01:01:42,736 Clear set, please. Clear set. 1341 01:01:42,836 --> 01:01:45,605 Stand by, B. Stand by. 1342 01:01:45,705 --> 01:01:47,407 Close the door, please. 1343 01:01:48,541 --> 01:01:50,210 Ten seconds! 1344 01:01:51,978 --> 01:01:54,314 - Stand by, guys. - Stand by, BT 11. 1345 01:01:54,414 --> 01:01:55,915 Stand by, Camera 5. 1346 01:01:56,016 --> 01:02:00,420 Five, four, three, two, one. 1347 01:02:00,520 --> 01:02:01,721 Hit it. Track it. 1348 01:02:04,958 --> 01:02:06,893 Oh, it's on. 1349 01:02:09,396 --> 01:02:13,466 When we watch the air show in the writers' room, 1350 01:02:14,067 --> 01:02:16,970 sometimes I feel very celebratory, 1351 01:02:17,070 --> 01:02:19,539 and sometimes I feel a little bit like a dog 1352 01:02:19,639 --> 01:02:21,341 with my tail between my legs. 1353 01:02:22,142 --> 01:02:25,679 But usually, my biggest feeling is relief. 1354 01:02:27,047 --> 01:02:28,715 At that point, we're all eating pizza 1355 01:02:28,815 --> 01:02:30,016 and getting drunk 1356 01:02:30,116 --> 01:02:31,951 because what's been picked has been picked, 1357 01:02:32,052 --> 01:02:33,887 and what has been made has been made. 1358 01:02:33,987 --> 01:02:35,722 And it's being sent out to the world. 1359 01:02:38,324 --> 01:02:41,594 Working here is like, tough, you know? 1360 01:02:42,195 --> 01:02:44,097 But then on the other side of that, 1361 01:02:44,197 --> 01:02:46,866 when I have a good week, that is, like, 1362 01:02:46,966 --> 01:02:49,202 millions of people, like... 1363 01:02:49,769 --> 01:02:51,104 are laughing, you know? 1364 01:02:51,204 --> 01:02:54,574 So it's a really scary trade-off. 1365 01:02:59,946 --> 01:03:02,048 You know, look, writing comedy... 1366 01:03:03,950 --> 01:03:06,119 is fun when you're with other people. 1367 01:03:06,219 --> 01:03:08,621 There's a group thing that happens. 1368 01:03:08,722 --> 01:03:10,390 There's a synergy. 1369 01:03:10,490 --> 01:03:11,524 It's a dinner party. 1370 01:03:19,399 --> 01:03:22,402 You definitely feel like you're part of 1371 01:03:22,802 --> 01:03:25,372 this amazing, iconic... 1372 01:03:26,706 --> 01:03:28,074 club. 1373 01:03:28,808 --> 01:03:31,778 I mean, it's an institution. 1374 01:03:31,878 --> 01:03:33,980 It's just an American institution. 1375 01:03:34,080 --> 01:03:36,383 It can go on for another 200 years. 1376 01:03:36,950 --> 01:03:40,153 It's hard to explain what it is. 1377 01:03:40,920 --> 01:03:42,989 You know, that's why it's such a miracle 1378 01:03:43,089 --> 01:03:45,392 to have been one of those writers. 1379 01:03:46,192 --> 01:03:49,662 It's just like nothing else I will ever live in my life. 1380 01:03:51,197 --> 01:03:53,299 Writing comedy and being funny 1381 01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:55,702 is really oftentimes admitting you're wrong 1382 01:03:55,802 --> 01:03:58,071 or you're fallible. 1383 01:03:58,171 --> 01:04:04,010 And, uh, it's really important to remind everybody... 1384 01:04:04,744 --> 01:04:07,847 to laugh at the human condition 1385 01:04:07,947 --> 01:04:09,182 and the choices we make, 1386 01:04:09,282 --> 01:04:12,485 and the way in which we're fucked up. 1387 01:04:13,553 --> 01:04:14,554 I'm talking to you. 1387 01:04:15,305 --> 01:05:15,392